THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: TVC15 on February 10, 2009, 01:35:39 AM

Title: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: TVC15 on February 10, 2009, 01:35:39 AM: I think it would be awesome if we could have special "after hours" discussions of particularly adult and risque topics, so consider this the first in a series of threads on such things.

So, tonight, I'd like to talk about being really constipated, because frankly, things haven't been moving in several days. I was wondering if anyone had any hints or tips that could help me out. I already drank like a quart of pomegranate juice tonight, which will get my GERD going and bring forth the purple puke in the mornings. The stainy kind, which means I should probably plan on bleaching down the toilet tomorrow before I head to work. But anyway, if that juice did somehow get digested, maybe it would solve my problem because it is a gross purple color like prune juice, which tastes disgusting so keep it the motherfuck away from me.

Suggestions?
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: ToxicAdam on February 10, 2009, 01:39:42 AM: Eat some bagged salad near/after the expiration date or an entire bag of Sun Chips.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Bildi on February 10, 2009, 01:40:11 AM: Bran and apple sauce?
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Cormacaroni on February 10, 2009, 01:44:43 AM: 'Necromancer' strength black coffee always does it for me. Not that I get constipated much.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Rman on February 10, 2009, 01:45:10 AM: Coffee helps too. Are you a coffee drinker, TVC?

Beaten by mac.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: TVC15 on February 10, 2009, 01:48:52 AM: No--I avoid coffee because I get chemically dependent on things way too quickly, although I have been hitting soda/energy drinks hard since starting classes. So I'm addicted to the less healthy caffeinated beverages now.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Crushed on February 10, 2009, 01:50:52 AM: Sometimes when I poop, I feel like I haven't pooped enough, but there's nothing left to poop out. :(
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Phoenix Dark on February 10, 2009, 01:51:29 AM: Are you going to a community college?

I have to think of a good subject for tonight. God I should be studying
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: TVC15 on February 10, 2009, 01:53:17 AM: Quote from: Phoenix Dark on February 10, 2009, 01:51:29 AM
Are you going to a community college?

I have to think of a good subject for tonight. God I should be studying

Yeah, I have to do time since it's been a long time since I've been in school. It's a really good community college, though. I was explaining last night that if I were randomly teleported onto the campus without knowing it was a CC, I probably wouldn't have guessed it were one.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: drew on February 10, 2009, 01:58:03 AM: coffee and ciggies

spoiler (click to show/hide)
coke makes you dump the first time you do it after a long break for some reason. it must be something to do w/ stimulants
[close]
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich on February 10, 2009, 01:59:58 AM: I just drink a fuckton of Chocolate Milk cause I'm a pussy and don't really drink coffee nor smoke.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: drew on February 10, 2009, 02:01:44 AM: also orange juice and breakfast foods do the trick for me. gives me intense rushes of stomach pain too. i think its a personal prob tho :\
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: demi on February 10, 2009, 02:18:44 AM: shove a finger in your butt
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: demi on February 10, 2009, 02:20:46 AM: i hope that was adult and risque enough of a response
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: The Sceneman on February 10, 2009, 03:13:22 AM: ^ :lol

but cigarettes do it for me. Meal, ciggie, shit. Kinda like clockwork
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: ch1nchilla on February 10, 2009, 03:28:11 AM: Go for a run, eat a salad, and then smoke a cig.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on February 10, 2009, 04:23:48 AM: How the fuck does a cigarette help with constipation? I practicaly chain smoke and my shits are no more easier to pass for it.

Seriously, just change your eating habits.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: cloudwalking on February 10, 2009, 04:50:28 AM: Quote from: jarosh on February 10, 2009, 03:42:03 AM
always have this in the house:

(http://www.automedicazione.it/portals/Automedicazione/images_repository/Magnesia%20S.%20Pellegrino%20effervescente%20Limone_big.jpg)

http://www.cincottachemist.com.au/product_detail.php?crk=147143

fairly harmless. but works wonders.

yeah this stuff is good, also as an antacid, but i've never seen it for sale in the states and i really doubt you could find it there.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: demi on February 10, 2009, 04:54:16 AM: You mean Milk of Magnesia?
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: WrikaWrek on February 10, 2009, 05:04:42 AM: Actifed.

That's what i take when i'm really constipated. Kinda gets you hammered for about an hour though.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Human Snorenado on February 10, 2009, 08:31:31 AM: Do a big fat rail of blow, coke always made me have to shit after I started doing it.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Eel O'Brian on February 10, 2009, 08:34:11 AM: stick TWO fingers in your butt and then make the peace sign
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: tiesto on February 10, 2009, 09:01:20 AM: Flax, granola, and heavy-fiber cereals tend to do the trick for me...

Also, Korean food never fails to make me poo.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Kestastrophe on February 10, 2009, 09:05:18 AM: thankfully, i've never been constipated, but jalapenos always make me "loose". Not real jalapenos mind you, I am talking about the shitty $0.60 jarred in juice kind
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Yeti on February 10, 2009, 09:47:54 AM: You probably don't have anything to poop out since you probably threw it all up.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Ecrofirt on February 10, 2009, 10:08:36 AM: I often wonder wtf people do that plugs up their poopshoot. I mean, jesus, I poop out big long dong logs at least once a day. And if I hole it in, holy shit. I end up shooting a high velocity missile out of my ass, much to the dismay of the poor toilet that gets pummeled with it.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: ToxicAdam on February 10, 2009, 10:25:02 AM: Quote from: Ecrofirt on February 10, 2009, 10:08:36 AM
I often wonder wtf people do that plugs up their poopshoot. I mean, jesus, I poop out big long dong logs at least once a day. And if I hole it in, holy shit. I end up shooting a high velocity missile out of my ass, much to the dismay of the poor toilet that gets pummeled with it.

Sometimes it's anxiety. If I have to take a trip somewhere, it takes me 3-4 days before I can go again. It sucks.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 10, 2009, 11:34:00 PM: why not give your self an enema with a turkey baster?
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Bloodwake on February 11, 2009, 04:10:04 PM: Laxatives. HARSH HARSH Laxatives.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: tehjaybo on February 11, 2009, 04:12:32 PM: I've eaten chicken strips, chili, and onion rings from Steak and Shake every day for the past four weeks.

I've never been so regular.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Tauntaun on February 11, 2009, 04:16:52 PM: Quote from: Ecrofirt on February 10, 2009, 10:08:36 AM
I often wonder wtf people do that plugs up their poopshoot. I mean, jesus, I poop out big long dong logs at least once a day. And if I hole it in, holy shit. I end up shooting a high velocity missile out of my ass, much to the dismay of the poor toilet that gets pummeled with it.

This made me :lol

So how's the cornhole TVC?
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Phoenix Dark on February 11, 2009, 04:29:46 PM: Prune juice mixed with cherry pepto bismol will do the trick, preferably taken in a paper cup
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Bloodwake on February 11, 2009, 04:33:45 PM: If it's a harsh enough laxative, it's almost like being raped backwards.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: TVC15 on February 11, 2009, 04:43:24 PM: There hasn't been much movement on this. I made a smallish bowel movement yesterday, but I am still very blocked. It's been like 5-6 days :(

I wonder if this has anything to do with quitting meat.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: drozmight on February 11, 2009, 04:55:14 PM: [youtube=560,345]n7CuJ8cR9sg[/youtube]
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Fragamemnon on February 11, 2009, 05:05:16 PM: Quote from: Genghis Cohen on February 11, 2009, 04:47:45 PM
Seriously, colace. Laxatives won't do any good if your shit has dried out.

This.

Speaking of pooping, I had some kashi go lean crunch cereal for breakfast the last couple of days and I think it's just a rebranded version of the old colon blow cereral from SNL.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Tauntaun on February 12, 2009, 10:06:14 AM: Quote from: Fragamemnon on February 11, 2009, 05:05:16 PM
Quote from: Genghis Cohen on February 11, 2009, 04:47:45 PM
Seriously, colace. Laxatives won't do any good if your shit has dried out.

This.

Speaking of pooping, I had some kashi go lean crunch cereal for breakfast the last couple of days and I think it's just a rebranded version of the old colon blow cereral from SNL.

Dude, seriously I get such crazy gas when I eat Kashi. I am taking tons of trips to the bathroom and I don't poop most of the time it's just that the force of the explosion might leave doodoo butter on my boxers. :-\
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: TVC15 on February 12, 2009, 06:24:02 PM: There has been nothing--NOTHING--over the past day.
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: ferrarimanf355 on February 12, 2009, 06:27:27 PM: Quote from: Crushed on February 10, 2009, 01:50:52 AM
Sometimes when I poop, I feel like I haven't pooped enough, but there's nothing left to poop out. :(
This happens to me, too. :'(
Title: Re: Evilbore After Hours, vol. 1
Post by: Brehvolution on February 12, 2009, 11:36:11 PM: I think I'll just go watch Chelsey Lately and hump my wife. FMW