THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: EmCeeGrammar on April 13, 2009, 06:19:14 AM

Title: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on April 13, 2009, 06:19:14 AM
  So I have a problem.  Lately (like 4 years) I've been having trouble keeping interest in, uhh everything. Completely wrecked my gpa in high school although I passed what I needed to. There's alot of things I think I could be interested in but I'll maybe spend a week at most before giving in to apathy. 

  I'm figuring its vanilla depression so last year I decided to make a real effort to socialise.  But it turns out I can't maintain interest in someone else either.  I read all about the active listening and open ended questions and whatnot, but I overlooked an important item in the first chapter. You have to genuinely give a shit.  Another weird thing is that I barely have an associative function when someone is sharing an experience.  They finish and I've crossreferenced nothing with my own life.  Compound that with piss poor communication and a memory thats basically a useless illegible smear.  So I can't really blame folks for finding me stupid andor boring. At times it feels like my lack of hobbies/interests contributes to my lack of opinions. I also made sure to go out and about with some coworkers (titty bar/bbq/xbox night/pot/mountain climbing/concerts/cycling) but again, I never felt comfortable no matter how hard I tried to focus on the activity and not myself.  How does a self-centered manchild go about changing himself?

For the past few months I haven't really done much.  Just sitting around bored.  Trying to not get too depressed, playing maybe 2 hrs of a few games before I get sick of that.  Been saving some money for whatever I decide to do. I imagine I could set goals for myself, but I'm looking at a huge blank canvas.  I have no clue what I want.
 
I gave the false impression that I was formally diagnosed with Asperger's. Not true. At least ASD has the tradeoff of intellect for social distinguished mentally-challenged. The limited times I spent with the psychologist yielded nothing exact.  Likely depression, possibly ADD, but hey the money ran out in November.  I have saved $600 since then.  I don't want to waste that on a potential wild goose chase that is the psychiatric practices.  But I can't think of a better option that doesn't end up with me succumbing to apathy again and again.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 13, 2009, 07:38:40 AM
anti-depressants
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: brawndolicious on April 13, 2009, 08:05:38 AM
will make it worse.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: demi on April 13, 2009, 08:06:15 AM
get rid of the wii
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 13, 2009, 08:21:59 AM
will make it worse.

 ::)
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Positive Touch on April 13, 2009, 08:39:16 AM
seriously, all this apathy and awkwardness is because of depression.  you should start trying out anto-depressants asap.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: brawndolicious on April 13, 2009, 08:43:04 AM
no, if you can diagnose a "dopamine imbalance" from a few paragraphs on a gaming forum then wow but anti-depressants are way over-prescribed for any little emotional issue and it sounds like this is in every way a simple attitude problem.  There's probably very complex, personal reasons he has for having trouble socializing and being ambitious but it also sounds like maybe just relaxing about it is the best solution.  Gradually change your behavior as you interact more rather than trying to find a specific issue that would cause these problems.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Akala on April 13, 2009, 09:08:37 AM
I like the title you chose.

(http://i42.tinypic.com/mujqs.jpg)
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 13, 2009, 10:49:40 AM
no, if you can diagnose a "dopamine imbalance" from a few paragraphs on a gaming forum then wow but anti-depressants are way over-prescribed for any little emotional issue and it sounds like this is in every way a simple attitude problem.  There's probably very complex, personal reasons he has for having trouble socializing and being ambitious but it also sounds like maybe just relaxing about it is the best solution.  Gradually change your behavior as you interact more rather than trying to find a specific issue that would cause these problems.

Quote
  So I have a problem.  Lately (like 4 years) I've been having trouble keeping interest in, uhh everything. Completely wrecked my gpa in high school although I passed what I needed to. There's alot of things I think I could be interested in but I'll maybe spend a week at most before giving in to apathy.

 ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: fistfulofmetal on April 13, 2009, 10:52:10 AM
phew
makes me happy knowing other people are more fucked up than i am
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: CrystalGemini on April 13, 2009, 10:59:39 AM
You really think this is the right place to look for advice?  :lol
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: The Fake Shemp on April 13, 2009, 11:13:43 AM
I'm not so sure endorphins make you feel better about the world.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Eric P on April 13, 2009, 11:16:55 AM
I'm not so sure endorphins make you feel better about the world.

actually they do.

they're your body's own Rose Tinted Glasses.

but whenever I feel a little down I tend to read something that cheers me up.  Like Wodehouse.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on April 13, 2009, 02:57:18 PM
I have basically the same problem.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: brawndolicious on April 13, 2009, 03:12:16 PM
no, if you can diagnose a "dopamine imbalance" from a few paragraphs on a gaming forum then wow but anti-depressants are way over-prescribed for any little emotional issue and it sounds like this is in every way a simple attitude problem.  There's probably very complex, personal reasons he has for having trouble socializing and being ambitious but it also sounds like maybe just relaxing about it is the best solution.  Gradually change your behavior as you interact more rather than trying to find a specific issue that would cause these problems.
Quote
  So I have a problem.  Lately (like 4 years) I've been having trouble keeping interest in, uhh everything. Completely wrecked my gpa in high school although I passed what I needed to. There's alot of things I think I could be interested in but I'll maybe spend a week at most before giving in to apathy.
::) ::) ::)
Yeah, that type of apathetic behavior COULD be triggered by actual life events rather than just his brain chemistry being broken.  The fact that this autobiography spanned a whole 3 paragraphs makes it a bit hasty to suggest prescriptions.  Those could easily do more harm then good if he never needed them.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: drew on April 13, 2009, 03:19:50 PM
class A drugs
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: drew on April 13, 2009, 03:24:07 PM
Hey if you die for any word, it might as well be heroin

fixed
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 13, 2009, 03:29:11 PM
am nintenho: M.D.

am nintenho:  Hmm, it says here you've been trying to move your leg for the past 4 years.
patient: yep. 
am nintenho: and it's just not moving?
patient: yep. What should I do?
am nintenho:  Have you tried moving it?
patient: ...
am nintenho:  It sounds to me like you just need to move your leg.
patient: but...
etc. etc.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Eric P on April 13, 2009, 03:29:28 PM
Hey if you die for any word, it might as well be tacos

fixed

double fixed :drool
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: brawndolicious on April 14, 2009, 01:17:54 AM
am nintenho: M.D.

am nintenho:  Hmm, it says here you've been trying to move your leg for the past 4 years.
patient: yep. 
am nintenho: and it's just not moving?
patient: yep. What should I do?
am nintenho:  Have you tried moving it?
patient: ...
am nintenho:  It sounds to me like you just need to move your leg.
patient: but...
etc. etc.
No, being apathetic is a really, really vague "symptom" and it sounds like this is a problem he's had for most of his adult life.  The fact that he's trying to improve his behavior makes me think that he at least does care and isn't clinically depressed and should instead reexamine the way he acts in real life.  But again, 3 paragraphs etc etc.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on April 14, 2009, 01:44:55 AM
You're a narcissist, you think you're above everyone but you realise you'll never achieve anything great so there's not point in trying anything anyway.

 
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on April 14, 2009, 04:19:10 AM
You're a narcissist, you think you're above everyone but you realise you'll never achieve anything great so there's not point in trying anything anyway.

 

This makes my gut churn, because it sounds about right.
Sometimes I think all these attempts were just ways I could make myself more interesting.

Goddammit. Seriously, my intestines are bunching up.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on April 14, 2009, 04:36:42 AM
At least you're not a recursivelyenumerable-narcissist with false modesty.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 14, 2009, 10:20:10 AM
 :lol 

what is it with depressed people being attracted to the narcissistic personality disorder diagnosis?  My friend did this too...

If you genuinely had NPD you would not have had the self-awareness to type up the op.  You would not have difficulty finding things to say to people.  You would say absolutely anything so long as it provoked a response.

So why are you ignoring the obvious suggestion in this thread (get a prescription for drugs) ?
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on April 14, 2009, 03:00:46 PM
:lol 

what is it with depressed people being attracted to the narcissistic personality disorder diagnosis?  My friend did this too...

If you genuinely had NPD you would not have had the self-awareness to type up the op.  You would not have difficulty finding things to say to people.  You would say absolutely anything so long as it provoked a response.

So why are you ignoring the obvious suggestion in this thread (get a prescription for drugs) ?

Money... the psychiatrist is like $300 per visit.  Then medication costs (no clue).
I may have to save for a few more months.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 14, 2009, 03:07:40 PM


Money... the psychiatrist is like $300 per visit.  Then medication costs (no clue).
I may have to save for a few more months.

I don't have to pay to visit my shrink.  :smug
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Tauntaun on April 14, 2009, 03:35:25 PM


Money... the psychiatrist is like $300 per visit.  Then medication costs (no clue).
I may have to save for a few more months.

I don't have to pay to visit my shrink.  :smug

A picture of flannel girl?  ???
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on April 14, 2009, 07:12:58 PM
Take out the word narcassist and my point still stands.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Human Snorenado on April 14, 2009, 07:15:41 PM
tl;dr

My prescription:  quit playing shitty non-games.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 14, 2009, 07:22:30 PM
yea play WoW you loserz
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on April 14, 2009, 07:26:13 PM
WoW :smug
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on April 14, 2009, 07:46:44 PM
Since you're a Nintard, I recommend therapy by looking at a bunch of sales charts.  Use Wagamama Girls Mode chart if that still hasn't worked.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Human Snorenado on April 14, 2009, 07:49:55 PM
yea play WoW you loserz

This from an unrepentant former nthing that pulled the nintendo on scam.  So you KNOW anything she/he/it recommends will be a quality game, yep.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 14, 2009, 07:55:55 PM
Take out the word narcassist and my point still stands.

Except his posts display self-hatred, not self-admiration...including the post where he agrees with you.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on April 14, 2009, 08:02:07 PM
Is this back and forth really helping him? No.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
You think you're above everyone but you realise you'll never achieve anything great so there's not point in trying anything anyway. - This statement indicates his self hatred anyway. I defined narcissim wrongly; clearly I'm not a psychologist :smug
[close]
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 14, 2009, 08:09:36 PM
yea play WoW you loserz

This from an unrepentant former nthing that pulled the nintendo on scam.  So you KNOW anything she/he/it recommends will be a quality game, yep.

I had nothing to do with the crappy Nintendo On thing. Most of my ideas came to fruition :bow

WoW :bow
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 14, 2009, 08:09:48 PM
who gives a shit about helping the dude?   :P
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on April 14, 2009, 08:13:35 PM
See a psch, you pay what you get for. See: Malek
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on April 15, 2009, 01:43:12 AM
Can I schedule an appointment and have a trial prescription by the end of the hour?  I don't want to go devastate my saving so the doctor can take his sweet time analysing me.  I can go to the affordable psychologist for that.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on April 15, 2009, 01:50:06 AM
I was joking about Malek. If it is depression -even in the USA- there must be some non-for profit group that offers counselling.
 
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 15, 2009, 02:04:30 AM
Can I schedule an appointment and have a trial prescription by the end of the hour?  I don't want to go devastate my saving so the doctor can take his sweet time analysing me.  I can go to the affordable psychologist for that.

yea I was thinking about this earlier today...there really are no guarantees I suppose.  You might show up and have the psychiatrist keep the drugs from you and suggest more sessions.  The only thing I can think of is talking with the psychiatrist before hand and explaining your money situation, and making sure he says over the phone that he'll write you a prescription.  Although I don't think many legit doctors would actually do that.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Cormacaroni on April 15, 2009, 05:11:46 AM
Nothing about the OP screams 'I need psychiatric help' to me, really. How you feel doesn't necessarily seem any different from someone in crappy situation with family, friends, work or the opposite sex, say. I've seen plenty of people bootstrap themselves out of these periods of apathy without drugs. The love of a good woman, the discovery of a hobby you enjoy or the company of friends should be all you need to pull you out of this. No-one can realistically offer you a timetable for finding any of those things if you genuinely lack the motivation to go out and get them yourself, which is probably very discouraging but...suck it up, buttercup. Life sucks all over, and your situation could be massively worse. You're not living in Darfur, for example.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on April 15, 2009, 06:16:22 AM
Nothing about the OP screams 'I need psychiatric help' to me, really. How you feel doesn't necessarily seem any different from someone in crappy situation with family, friends, work or the opposite sex, say. I've seen plenty of people bootstrap themselves out of these periods of apathy without drugs. The love of a good woman, the discovery of a hobby you enjoy or the company of friends should be all you need to pull you out of this. No-one can realistically offer you a timetable for finding any of those things if you genuinely lack the motivation to go out and get them yourself, which is probably very discouraging but...suck it up, buttercup. Life sucks all over, and your situation could be massively worse. You're not living in Darfur, for example.

I'm not suicidaly depressed anymore.  But all of those things you listed are things I have attempted but gave up on because I grow bored with it.  I can't hold a conversation or pursue a hobby because nothing holds my attention for long.  The attitude adjustments I've gone through means that although I realise I have it pretty good and its not the end of the world, its just a dull life. 

Tangibly, my memory and communication and concentration have deteriorated to a detrimental extent. I would like to have those back.  I would like to enjoy these pursuits I've gone out on a limb for and not center my whole life around "sad little me".  But its got to the point where its like I'm trying not to think of the giant pink floating elephant every waking second.  I would love nothing more than to get over myself.  Be problem-oriented and not self-centered.  I have tried this alone for so long but I've concluded that there's nothing wrong with some outside help.

I'm 22 Kosma.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on April 15, 2009, 06:51:12 AM
I enjoy listening to others small talk. So I disagree about people living boring lives.  I just can't seem to emulate it.  There's also the poor memory issue too.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on April 15, 2009, 08:08:36 AM
What are you, rich or something?
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Cormacaroni on April 15, 2009, 11:12:12 AM
You got bored with it or you just didn't get what you expected out of it?

I'll second the "travel" option. Growing up in Northern Ireland during the troubles and Thatcher etc was pretty horrible on the whole. Traveling really helped me realize that life doesn't have to be like that. The biggest danger is that you may never go back ;)
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on April 15, 2009, 04:07:08 PM
You got bored with it or you just didn't get what you expected out of it?

I'll second the "travel" option. Growing up in Northern Ireland during the troubles and Thatcher etc was pretty horrible on the whole. Traveling really helped me realize that life doesn't have to be like that. The biggest danger is that you may never go back ;)

A little of both.  For the notion of travel,  I don't feel like there's a lack of things to do in my immediate area. I didn't have a horrible life and its not bad now. I'm fine if it turns out I am wrong, but I don't feel capable of making myself happy or entertained currently.  Like I think videogames are cool, but I can't spend hours learning their intricaticies [sp?] like I used to because... I don't know, I just get tired of it quickly.  I don't hold games or movies or music etc up to great expectations.  I am losing interest in everything and don't know why exactly.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: chronovore on April 16, 2009, 04:34:09 AM
Try exercise.
Try travel.
Try eating foods that you'd never eat.
Try not eating.

Do something that you normally wouldn't do. Try it for longer than you think you should. Break your own rut. Go walkabout and figure out what's up outside your own life, outside your normal environment. There's too much in the world to be bored.

Life: you're doing it wrong.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Reb on April 16, 2009, 05:55:09 AM
You got bored with it or you just didn't get what you expected out of it?

I'll second the "travel" option. Growing up in Northern Ireland during the troubles and Thatcher etc was pretty horrible on the whole. Traveling really helped me realize that life doesn't have to be like that. The biggest danger is that you may never go back ;)

A little of both.  For the notion of travel,  I don't feel like there's a lack of things to do in my immediate area. I didn't have a horrible life and its not bad now. I'm fine if it turns out I am wrong, but I don't feel capable of making myself happy or entertained currently.  Like I think videogames are cool, but I can't spend hours learning their intricaticies [sp?] like I used to because... I don't know, I just get tired of it quickly.  I don't hold games or movies or music etc up to great expectations.  I am losing interest in everything and don't know why exactly.

The thing with travel is, you get confronted with all kinds of things. You're not sitting around at home thinking about whether or not you want to play another video game.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 16, 2009, 06:43:39 AM
spoiler (click to show/hide)
People with major depression can not simply shake off their feelings with positive thinking and recreation.  Four years is a long time.
[close]
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on April 16, 2009, 08:05:43 AM
Going travelling, risking further isolation is a pretty stupid idea.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Reb on April 16, 2009, 08:18:27 AM
Going travelling, risking further isolation is a pretty stupid idea.

Sitting at home, playing games hasn't worked for the last 4 years.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on April 16, 2009, 08:54:15 AM
I'm not a psych but going, 'Fuck it, I'm travelling.' is not a good idea after being used to that environment for so long. Hell if he finds small talk interesting he doesn't need something as drastic as that at this stage, just maybe go online, go to a few dates with zero expectations and revel in the small inane talk.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Reb on April 16, 2009, 08:57:24 AM
I think the general consensus is that he should go and do something.
Travel is a good way to force yourself out of a routine of solitude and get in a situation where you are forced to act.

It could be too much, but hey, at least you tried.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Cormacaroni on April 16, 2009, 10:57:05 AM
:bow Kosma :bow2

It could also be that what you will ultimately find fulfilling has nothing to do with your own personal happiness. Helping other people, or doing something just because it needs to be done and no-one else is stepping up. Happiness doesn't just stem from having fun or doing enjoyable things. I find it most often comes AFTER doing something really hard or unpleasant.


Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: tiesto on April 16, 2009, 10:58:54 AM
I'd love to do more traveling, especially to foreign countries (def. want to hit up Japan, Australia and Eastern Europe)... but don't have anyone suitable to travel with. My friends usually prefer to stick to domestic traveling (well, basically going to Miami for WMC but that's it).
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: cool breeze on April 16, 2009, 11:22:13 AM
I'd like to travel more, but my two problems are that I only really have parts of the summer free and I couldn't make up my mind on where to go.  I'm a bit too indecisive with making up my mind and ultimately I will try and just pick somewhere I've never been before, and I traveled a lot with family when I was younger.

You know why you cant hold a conversation? Cause most people lead fucking boring lifes and have nothing interesting to tell. you've just been conditioned to accept this as normal and that you should be interested.

That is so true.  The things people talk about are the most uninteresting sounds that could come out of a persons mouth.  Just yesterday I was talking to one lady who was on about how she liked this one guy, but he didn't want a relationship, yet she was still interested in getting it on or something and SHUT UP NO ONE FUCKING CARES.  I wish I could just be an asshole and tell them to fuck off instead of lying about another event I have.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Reb on April 16, 2009, 11:29:11 AM
I once took a course with a bunch of overconfident "young potentials".
When after 6 days one of the girls started crying because she felt like she was the only one that didn't get it, I told her that was first interesting thing I saw her do.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Propagandhim on April 16, 2009, 11:36:20 AM
I agree with Chipopo's posts.  4 years is a long time.  Some SSRIs are really helpful- really changed some of my family members' lives.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: The Fake Shemp on April 16, 2009, 11:50:54 AM
That sounds pretty lame actually.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Tauntaun on April 16, 2009, 11:52:52 AM
That sounds pretty lame actually.

Kosma goes there because the amputees can't get away when he hits on them.  :shh
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 16, 2009, 12:02:27 PM
I never understood how other people's suffering will somehow make one feel better; it will usually just make him feel bad for others and make him feel more guilt.

Anyway, people compare their positions to those that are similarly situated. For example: I don't compare my lot to amputees in Cambodia, but to other law students in Winnipeg. A visit to Cambodia would only temporarily change that, once back home, it's back to comparing myself to my peers; and consequently, feeling a sense of deprivation.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 16, 2009, 12:08:47 PM
It's inspiring to see being more happy with less and with simpler things Malek. It's not like people spend their time traveling crying over everything they see.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relative_deprivation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relative_deprivation)
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: TVC15 on April 16, 2009, 12:09:09 PM
It's inspiring to see being more happy with less and with simpler things Malek. It's not like people spend their time traveling crying over everything they see.

Malek's just a different sort of person than you are.  I was just thinking about this in relation to my own misery earlier today.  For me, thinking about how it could be worse (or how it has been worse) for me doesn't move me at all--I'm much more concerned with how things could be better for me than they are now.  
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 16, 2009, 12:24:48 PM
Green Shinobi: M.D.

Green Shinobi: Depressed are we?  I suggest you surround yourself with as many amputated Cambodians as possible.
Patient: Wat
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: TVC15 on April 16, 2009, 12:28:33 PM
Yeah everybody is different and reacts different to experiences. Also I think it's different for people with clinical depression or your more ordinary folks and how they react to certain stimuli. Malek I used to think like that too, and still to some extent do because I'm not sure it can ever be erased. But what traveling showed me is that I don't have to participate in the rat race and can do my own thing, it showed me the world is bigger then the neighbours and I havent lost that feeling after returning from my first trip 3 years ago.

Rebiak, Cormacaroni, Green Shinobi and me all have the same thoughts on this. So cleary it works for some people, so I think it's worth a try.

I know there are ugly and emaciated asian children on the other side of the world without having to see them.  I'd rather have working kidneys or a Ducati GT1000 than have to ponder or look at them.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 16, 2009, 12:36:16 PM

Rebiak, Cormacaroni, Green Shinobi and me all have the same thoughts on this. So cleary it works for some people, so I think it's worth a try.

Corm stated that traveling to better parts of the world made him better, which is the exact opposite of what you and Shinobi are suggesting.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 16, 2009, 12:36:44 PM
this thread separates the "I've been in a rut before" crowd from the real depressives.  
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: TVC15 on April 16, 2009, 12:38:34 PM
this thread separates the "I've been in a rut before" crowd from the real depressives.  

The only thing keeping me from ranting is that I don't want to inadvertently say something useful to the Nintendo fan OP.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: TVC15 on April 16, 2009, 12:41:37 PM
I just googled that DucatiG1000 TVC was talking about, and for that money you could live in a private beach hut on a tropical Island for a year, have hookers everyday and get drunk and do whatever you want.

I hate the sun and heat, my penis no longer functions as anything except a urinary device, and I'm not supposed to drink anymore.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 16, 2009, 12:43:45 PM

I think living like a king for a few bucks a day makes it the better part of the world.


So he'll feel better because his dollar goes further? This has nothing to do with your past argument. Seems you felt better because you banged third-worlders and you got to live it up because of your relative affluence.

To address your past "inspiration" point: Seeing a happy third worlder won't inspire me. He compares his condition to his peers; I compare my condition to my peers. Our expectations are different. Deprivation is relative.

Besides most of my sense of deprivation doesn't arise from my social economic conditions, but from my extreme loneliness and social isolation. I compare my life to Flannel Girl's boyfriend, not to a thai cheeseburger you banged.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 16, 2009, 12:53:20 PM
Quote
And you should compare your situation to everybody in the world, because its one fucking world.

People reside in specific, isolated parts of the world and are surrounded and interact with a small group of people. It makes more sense that people would naturally compare themselves to their peers, whom they interact with and see on a daily basis, than people they've never even met.

God I hate phonies.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on April 16, 2009, 12:57:10 PM
a friend of a friend of mine is planning to move to China ostensibly for sexual reasons ::)
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 16, 2009, 12:57:10 PM
I'd still compare myself to my actual peer group. Seeing South East asians in a fishing village for a few days won't make them my new peer group.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on April 16, 2009, 12:58:01 PM
You should go live with wolves like I guess Kevin Costner did (based on the title of his movie which I haven't seen).
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 16, 2009, 12:59:48 PM
You're talking about stuff you've never experienced, hiding behind theories you've only read about.

Not like I've never seen homeless people or military amputees on the street. Their shitty lives sure made me feel better about my own.

oh wait

Go fly a kite

Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on April 16, 2009, 01:01:26 PM
Quote
And you should compare your situation to everybody in the world, because its one fucking world.

 ::)
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: TVC15 on April 16, 2009, 01:03:31 PM
You're talking about stuff you've never experienced, hiding behind theories you've only read about.

And you've never experienced a Ducati GT1000.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 16, 2009, 01:06:23 PM
Hey Malek I don't know why you get mad when somebody suggests you do something actually to improve your situation.

If your suggestion is have a vacation, fine. But if your suggestion is other people's shitty lives on some other part of the world will make me feel better, you're dead wrong. any clinical psychologist will tell you that you can't make someone with depression feel better by reminding them how much better their lives are than other people's--let alone other people who have absolutely no bearing on their day to day lives, who live in a different culture, have different aspirations, and AGAIN, have a different peer group.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: TVC15 on April 16, 2009, 01:06:26 PM
Did chasing that Ducati GT1000 made you happy so far?

How is that working out?

I'm actually not pursuing a Ducati GT1000.  I've settled on a Kawasaki Vulcan 500.

But believe me, seeing poor people won't make me appreciate my life any more.  I don't even like people.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Reb on April 16, 2009, 01:11:32 PM
Wow, the last time I checked the advice was to get out of the house some, before you try medication.

Now it's about lifting your spirits by looking at poor people?
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: TVC15 on April 16, 2009, 01:11:49 PM
But Emceegamer thinks he might have an emotional disorder.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: TVC15 on April 16, 2009, 01:17:09 PM
Sorry, Kosma, you're only seeing your own point of view here.  I understand what you're saying, but you clearly don't understand what Malek is (especially clearly) saying.  Sorry that everyone isn't like you.  I'm kind of surprised your world travels didn't teach you about subjectivity.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: TVC15 on April 16, 2009, 01:24:51 PM
This was in no way ment to offend you guys, but youre taking it personally it seems.



That's because I'm emotionally unstable and I know that visiting Cambodia isn't going to make me better.

We dont know do we, I mean its a self diagnosis.

It's gone on for years.  That means there is pathology to be had.  And even if it hadn't, even if he just suspected he had an emotional disorder, shouldn't he clear his mind before he decides to go on worldwide adventures, you know, so he doesn't get jerusalem syndrome or have a dissociative fugue?
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: TVC15 on April 16, 2009, 01:37:27 PM
No worries.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on April 16, 2009, 01:45:39 PM
Malek and TVC should both come to Portland and start a depressive post-rock band with me
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: tiesto on April 16, 2009, 05:34:10 PM
Travel solo then, you'll meet plenty of people on the road.

And as Cormarcaroni says sometimes you need to buckle down and just do stuff you don't like to experience satisfaction.

You see, this is what I'm most scared of... I'm the kinda person who hates to eat by myself.. let alone experience a completely different country. I think a trip to Japan, Australia, or Eastern Europe, would be just what I need right now, I haven't traveled outside of US/Canada since high school. I'd love to hook up with a girl from another country...
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: duckman2000 on April 16, 2009, 05:40:12 PM
I have yet to travel to a reasonably well populated area and not find people to hang out with within the first 4 hours, some of which I'd end up hanging out with for the rest of my stay. Staying in hostels makes it fairly inevitable. And whatever people may say about it not being for them, how many of those have actually tried? I'm not saying that it would be the solution to all of emceegrammar's  problems, but it's worth a shot. It's amazing what sharing a spliff with a group of friends on a beach somewhere can do for your outlook on life.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on April 16, 2009, 05:47:02 PM
That's your experience, telling him 'to travel' is akin to tossing a coin; sure it could work but what are the implications if it doesn't.

Anyway the real point of this thread is that TVC is getting a cruiser certifying his old man status.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: duckman2000 on April 16, 2009, 05:51:55 PM
That's your experience, telling him 'to travel' is akin to tossing a coin; sure it could work but what are the implications if it doesn't.

Anyway the real point of this thread is that TVC is getting a cruiser certifying his old man status.

Of course, you could obsess over what horrible things it could result in (never mind the fact that a always steady route could have just as serious negative effects down the line). The alternative would be to focus on the possible rewards, such as uniquely good times worth remembering.

I'm not advising anyone to do anything, but I really don't think "stay safe" is always the best advise.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on April 16, 2009, 09:33:35 PM
this thread separates the "I've been in a rut before" crowd from the real depressives.  

The only thing keeping me from ranting is that I don't want to inadvertently say something useful to the Nintendo fan OP.

Pretty please? I recommended a book for you and I don't think you took it seriously.

To everyone else,  I have tried breaking out of my rut.  I have gone out with co-workers, flirted with girls, long walks in the city, recreational studying at the library, going to concerts, a ufc fight, ate out at many different places, went to the state fair, had a gym membership motherfucking etcetera.  I wasn't enjoying myself.   I've read my fair share about the psychological mechanisms responsible for how I behave.  I understand it all, trust me on this.  I don't want to make it seem like I'm crying myself to sleep everynight but this borders on something like an avoidant personality disorder and I may need a professional.
SEND MONEY
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on April 16, 2009, 09:40:59 PM
This best you could hope for is Malek to simulate your behaviour (not far off just get rid of Flannel Girl, alcohol and the hope of being a lawyer) and get the diagnosis back :tophat
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on April 16, 2009, 09:54:20 PM
Icons :/
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Van Cruncheon on April 16, 2009, 11:19:31 PM
(http://www.deadbored.net/qt3/Woo.gif)
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: demi on April 16, 2009, 11:24:18 PM
Icons :/

evr ben w/ a bear b4
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on April 16, 2009, 11:52:28 PM
joke characters : /
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 06, 2009, 06:56:55 PM
Quote
At least you're not a recursivelyenumerable-narcissist with false modesty.

I found this while searching for my username and I just had to bump the thread, because it's now about me
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on May 06, 2009, 06:59:09 PM
Searching for your own username isn't narcissistic? :smug
Am I wrong though? 
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 06, 2009, 07:01:02 PM
proactively ensuring continued responsiveness to user feedback is the opposite of narcissism!
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on May 06, 2009, 07:06:07 PM
Will instead of letting it slide like most people would, it's become a topic again.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 06, 2009, 07:10:45 PM
I can't help being awesome.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on May 06, 2009, 07:13:06 PM
sarcasm :smug

I cut you deep, eh?
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 06, 2009, 07:16:29 PM
Deep in absolute terms, shallow relative to the depth of my soul
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Oblivion on May 06, 2009, 07:19:21 PM
Since we're (more or less) on the subject, anyone have any suggestions for painless suicide pills perchance? How are all the hip youngsters offing themselves nowadays?
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on May 06, 2009, 07:56:25 PM
Oblivion, one of the great points of my life was realising I didn't have to follow religion anymore.  If you really thought about, no afterlife isn't something to be mopy over.

Anyone want a progress report?  I realise I whine too much these days during the past week at work. I'm being a little mean too.  I think I'm just going to keep my mouth shut.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on May 06, 2009, 08:09:00 PM
Is this your life, Recursive?

Quote from: Sam Vaknin
The narcissist can appreciate beauty but in a cerebral, cold and "mathematical" way. Many have no mature, adult sex drive to speak of. Their emotional landscape is dim and grey, as though through a glass darkly.

Many narcissists can intelligently discuss those emotions never experienced by them – like empathy, or love – because they make it a point to read a lot and to communicate with people who claim to be experiencing them. Thus, they gradually construct working hypotheses as to what people feel. As far as the narcissist is concerned, it is pointless to try to really understand emotions – but at least these models he does form allow him to better predict people's behaviours and adjust to them.

Narcissists are not envious of others for having emotions. They disdain feelings and sentimental people because they find them to be weak and vulnerable and they deride human frailties and vulnerabilities. Such derision makes the narcissist feel superior and is probably the ossified remains of a defence mechanism gone awry.

....

He feels that he is entitled to special treatment and to outstanding consideration because he is such a unique specimen. He knows this to be true – the same way one knows that one is surrounded by air. It is an integral part of his identity. More integral to him than his body.

This opens a gap – rather, an abyss – between the narcissist and other humans. Because he considers himself so special and so superior, he has no way of knowing how it is to be human, neither the inclination to explore it. In other words, the narcissist cannot and will not empathise.

Can you empathise with an ant? Empathy implies identity or equality with the empathized, both abhorrent to the narcissist. And being perceived by the narcissist to be so inferior, people are reduced to cartoonish, two-dimensional representations of functions.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: TVC15 on May 06, 2009, 08:09:53 PM
Since we're (more or less) on the subject, anyone have any suggestions for painless suicide pills perchance? How are all the hip youngsters offing themselves nowadays?

Guns and asphyxiation.  It's hard to kill yourself with pills.  I guess WA is using suicide pills though for the assisted suicide shit.  No idea what's in them, but I doubt it's the sort of stuff you would find on the street.

Also, most poisons that are readily available that can actually kill you wouldn't give you a very pleasant death.  Guns are really the best way, (distantly) followed by asphyxiation.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on May 06, 2009, 08:22:50 PM
annihilated
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 06, 2009, 08:28:19 PM
I don't really go for the pseudo-Nietzschean disdain-for-human-frailties thing, or for caricaturing other people in my mind, and I'm not sure what defines a mature adult sex drive (maybe just more evidence I don't have one, though), otherwise spot on.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on May 06, 2009, 08:35:28 PM
On closer inspection this Sam Vakin seems to be a sham doctor with no degree and although it sounds good I cannot support this as credible evidence. 
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 06, 2009, 08:40:26 PM
I might've read his stuff before, does he have a huge labyrinthine rambling site?

edit: yep, I have.  it's fun to read tho I don't take it very seriously.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on May 06, 2009, 08:41:49 PM
On tripod or something similar. There is no wikipedia entry on him because he dissed wikipedia or more porbably is a notorius self promoter.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 06, 2009, 08:47:06 PM
I <3 huge crank websites
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Fresh Prince on May 06, 2009, 08:50:55 PM
I'm going to start my own crank website now.
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Barry Egan on May 06, 2009, 09:01:47 PM
the best part about Sam Vaknin is that he claims to be a narcissist himself, but a super-rare breed of narcissist that is reflexively aware of his own narcissism. 
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 06, 2009, 09:12:42 PM
inferior garden-variety narcissism :piss2
superior extraordinary evolved narcissism :bow2
Title: Re: Self-absorbed wah-wah-ing
Post by: Cyanista on May 07, 2009, 03:24:13 PM
So do you still feel this way, OP guy?  Not that I'm a psychiatrist, but it sounds like you do have some kind of problem.  The memory thing and inability to make conversation is worrying.  But..you can type up a whole lucid conversation on a web forum.  I think your problem is probably more social anxiety than it is depression, whether you've chosen to cover it up with this idea that you just can't be bothered or not.