THE BORE

General => Video Game Bored => Topic started by: demi on July 14, 2009, 12:30:39 AM

Title: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 12:30:39 AM
This is - no probablys about it - IS the worst Wii slash any game I have played. What did I say was the worst for 2009? Well forget it, it's this. This game is complete fucking dogshit. You can't control for shit, you can't aim for shit, you can't shoot for shit. I'm playing on "Elevated" which is the middle difficulty option and I am getting slaughtered in 3 shots. There is a bit at the end of the third(?) level, where you storm the lincoln memorial and aliens come NONSTOP with NO health around (you gain the regen ability in the next level). Majority of my deaths were caused because my waggle would not co-operate correctly and I couldn't move around, as turning takes AGES.

Enemies CONSTANTLY RESPAWN and WILL NOT STOP until you destroy the portals. Problem is there is usually WAY too many and you are overwhelmed by the bulletsponges to even get a chance to get to a portal. There are also eggsacs that respawn enemies, but are easier to handle. What's extremely fucking frustrating are these rolling red aliens that explode nearby and can take off half of your health in one go. There's also these "invisible" mines that you have to blow up with your stupid eyeball thing.

The gun selection sucks, the whole eyeball thing isn't really bad, it's rarely used (aside from the stupid mines), and I am currently on Level 5 of 9 (GOTTA SAVE THE PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!).

There's no point to try online as the game is hacked to shit so anyone can cheat the high heaven.

Deadly Creatures > The Conduit
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 14, 2009, 12:34:02 AM
Weren't people saying this was better than BioShock and Modern Warfare?
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 12:35:45 AM
Throwing grenades is a clusterfuck as well. You have to shake the nunchuk, easy enough - but by impulse, your wiimote hand will twitch to the side or somewhere, so you're suddenly staring at the ground and the grenade you just dropped.

Oops
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Brehvolution on July 14, 2009, 12:47:38 AM
 :lol
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Eel O'Brian on July 14, 2009, 12:49:29 AM
how is it hacked

i am genuinely curious

are they using the HDD loader and trainers and such
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 12:53:34 AM
The game, when taken apart (ISO, etc) has a config file you can edit directly to alter different things, access debug menus, etc.

http://gbatemp.net/index.php?showtopic=163513
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Eel O'Brian on July 14, 2009, 12:59:59 AM
wow, that HDD loader is pretty much going to wreck any online Wii game from now on, i guess
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 01:01:45 AM
It doesnt have to specifically be HDD, you can still load DVD-Rs with a backup loader
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Eel O'Brian on July 14, 2009, 01:11:13 AM
lol nintendo
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Joe Molotov on July 14, 2009, 02:11:09 AM
I thought this was the Wii GOTY...oh wait, it's the only game there is this year.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Great Rumbler on July 14, 2009, 02:13:48 AM
I'm glad I'm poor right now because I probably would have ended up buying this garbage on day one.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 02:17:53 AM
EVERYTHING IS SO SHINY
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 02:23:03 AM
I looked it up because I knew he sounded familiar, but Kevin Sorbo is in this game :lol

[youtube=560,345]zJFmFJ9p9Lw[/youtube]
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 02:29:12 AM
The typical Conduit fan

[youtube=560,345]OWGTA9w4OD8[/youtube]
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Shuri on July 14, 2009, 02:40:13 AM
wow, the graphics are not so bad for a wii game!..too bad the game sucks :(
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 02:49:05 AM
wow, the graphics are not so bad for a wii game!..too bad the game sucks :(

The YouTube does make it look good but... no, sorry. It is extremely ugly.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: bork on July 14, 2009, 02:51:16 AM
The typical Conduit fan

[youtube=560,345]OWGTA9w4OD8[/youtube]

Why are there so many videos like this?   :lol
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: cool breeze on July 14, 2009, 02:52:57 AM
yeah, the game is crap.  I did enjoy the first couple of levels because it was bad in a good way (mid-90s fps game design, terrible story and dialogue); then it just became bad in that Resistance 2 kind of way, but even worse than that game.  Multiplayer was pretty fun, though.  I mean, if I didn't have a countless number of much better fps games I could get into, I would probably play it.

How can it control poorly? I thought the wii was all super realistic and had true FPS control. What happened?

to be fair, the default control scheme is nigh unplayable

people praise the game for having really customizable controls, but when you have to work to find something comfortable, that's just ridiculous.  I had to spend more time than should have to get it working, and even then the controls weren't even the best fps controls on the Wii.  And I kinda like fps controls on the wii.

wow, the graphics are not so bad for a wii game!..too bad the game sucks :(

The YouTube does make it look good but... no, sorry. It is extremely ugly.

its a mix of bland design and really hideous art
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 02:57:53 AM
Wow Borys, you're original
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Bildi on July 14, 2009, 03:44:12 AM
Why are there so many videos like this?   :lol

I suppose because it's a game.

On the Wii.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Bildi on July 14, 2009, 03:49:53 AM
This is the first Wii game that has a MULTI-COLOUR DISK.

I can't believe you didn't mention that demi.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 03:51:30 AM
Multi-colored SHIT
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Bildi on July 14, 2009, 04:28:36 AM
I found a pic of the disc:

(http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r89/Bildi777/evilbore/TJPNDRB8.jpg)

Conduit > Deadly Creatures.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 14, 2009, 04:33:59 AM
The Conduit is garbage.  It's like High Voltage decided to recycle their awful N64 FPS, Armorines, and slap it with a new coat of paint to a Wii fanbase dying for content.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on July 14, 2009, 05:05:57 AM
You chose THIS over Excitebots?  What a fucking moron.

The controls aren't that bad really.  It just needs a screen lock button like Metroid Prime 3.  Reading your description makes it sound like you have horrid motor skills.

: oh 180º turn is awesomesauce.  EA needs to nag Criterion into making a Black for Wii already.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: The Sceneman on July 14, 2009, 06:30:27 AM
The typical Conduit fan

[youtube=560,345]OWGTA9w4OD8[/youtube]

lol, "Condueet Condueett *bangs game against head* roughfrhfh"
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 11:04:03 AM
You chose THIS over Excitebots?  What a fucking moron.

The controls aren't that bad really.  It just needs a screen lock button like Metroid Prime 3.  Reading your description makes it sound like you have horrid motor skills.

: oh 180º turn is awesomesauce.  EA needs to nag Criterion into making a Black for Wii already.

:lol horrid motor skills. son, i beat every call of duty on veteran, and we know call of duty has a rep for respawning enemies. the conduit is garbage. don't address me on skills.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: duckman2000 on July 14, 2009, 11:51:58 AM
EA needs to nag Criterion into making a Black for Wii already.

Isn't this game selling pretty horribly so far? Can't see many future FPS on the system if this one tanks completely.

Then again, maybe one without aliens would do better.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: archie4208 on July 14, 2009, 11:57:54 AM
EA needs to nag Criterion into making a Black for Wii already.

Isn't this game selling pretty horribly so far? Can't see many future FPS on the system if this one tanks completely.

Then again, maybe one without aliens would do better.


It's in the top 20 at Amazon.com.  Sales success confirmed.  Now why isn't every FPS ever coming to the Wii with its superior controls?
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: cool breeze on July 14, 2009, 01:43:11 PM
: oh 180º turn is awesomesauce.  EA needs to nag Criterion into making a Black for Wii already.

I was playing Black again the other day and it wouldn't really make sense with Wii controls or even PC controls.  Accuracy really doesn't matter.  It's like Commando where you shoot in the general direction and that's enough.

but I agree that 180 turns are awesome.  Dead Space would have been way better if they let you do a 180 spin.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 14, 2009, 03:52:11 PM
demi is, in all honesty, probably the best gamer on the forum in terms of all-around genre skills.  Calling him out and saying that his motor skills are flawed, versus a crappy Wii control scheme is :lol-tastic
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on July 14, 2009, 04:15:49 PM
demi is, in all honesty, probably the best gamer on the forum in terms of all-around genre skills.  Calling him out and saying that his motor skills are flawed, versus a crappy Wii control scheme is :lol-tastic

Well just based on my experience there's nothing so wrong with Wii FPS controls that its broken.  What I see is alot of people decrying the graduated turning box method without taking time to get used to it.  His grenade comment is just way off too.  I had grenades on + and I had no trouble aiming it, so I'm just wondering why he can't keep his hand still.  The only thing the game needs for sure is a viewpoint lock like other Wii fps.  Occassionaly I'd like to line up a shot without adjusting my viewpoint.  Instead they opt for some dumb soft lock-on bullshit.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: CHOW CHOW on July 14, 2009, 04:30:51 PM
i kinda wanna copy/paste your review in the conduit gaf thread
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 04:32:50 PM
Demi is an asshole because he wasn't wearing the Mario hat while playing The Conduit. Best gamer my FOOT.

Also, play Turok 2 next.

Someone is just GLAD I didn't buy BF1943... wouldn't want to put you at the bottom of the match leaderboards every time
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Purple Filth on July 14, 2009, 04:33:12 PM
i kinda wanna copy/paste your review in the conduit gaf thread

doooo  itttt  :lol
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: BobFromPikeCreek on July 14, 2009, 04:34:46 PM
Please tell me the special edition doesn't cost extra money.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 04:35:16 PM
The special edition is the same price... all it has is some gay artbook and some "exxxxlusive codes" but those of course are available to anyone. And the cover is all shiny.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: BobFromPikeCreek on July 14, 2009, 04:36:38 PM
Yeah that's why I asked. It looked pretty pathetic.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 04:36:54 PM
Demi is an asshole because he wasn't wearing the Mario hat while playing The Conduit. Best gamer my FOOT.

Also, play Turok 2 next.

Someone is just GLAD I didn't buy BF1943... wouldn't want to put you at the bottom of the match leaderboards every time
If you would I could piggy back off your success! SELFISH JERK

:heart
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: CHOW CHOW on July 14, 2009, 04:38:26 PM
miss u
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 04:39:55 PM
If you had a 360 I would buy bf1943 and play. It is a shame you chose the WRONG SIDE
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: CHOW CHOW on July 14, 2009, 04:49:08 PM
i seriously have like nobody on my PSN friends list...just a few random stragglers that never go online nor want to play.  i miss xfag live like you wouldn't believe
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Saint Cornelius on July 14, 2009, 04:52:59 PM
maybe you should just get a xbox then instead of doing your weird flip-flopping routine then?
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 14, 2009, 08:30:56 PM
WOW :lol

The 2nd to last level is HORRIBLE
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Third on July 14, 2009, 09:46:28 PM
One of the worst games I've played this gen.

A total waste of bandwith. And the game looks like shit too. I don't get the "good graphics" part.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: dammitmattt on July 14, 2009, 10:10:21 PM
WOW :lol

The 2nd to last level is HORRIBLE

Yeah, that's when it went from mildly enjoyable shit to total shit.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 15, 2009, 02:07:21 AM
I finished it on "Elevated"

The last two levels are easily some of the worst designed I've ever played. COD4 Ferris Wheel has nothing on this. WOW. I am still in shock at how BAD the game is.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: archie4208 on July 15, 2009, 02:26:43 AM
It's pretty sad that a homebrew port of Quake has better controls than this game.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: cool breeze on July 15, 2009, 02:57:17 AM
It's pretty sad that a homebrew port of Quake has better controls than this game.

Monkey War, a mini-game from the Super Monkey Ball Wii launch game, has better FPS controls than The Conduit.  It has a lot of customization but none of it feels natural.  Medal of Honor Heroes 2 or MP3 are still the best pointer fps controls.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Third on July 15, 2009, 07:52:39 PM
I'll never understand how demi can play and even finish shitty games.

I'd rather replay a mediocre to good game instead of wasting 30 minutes with this trash.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 15, 2009, 07:54:54 PM
Because I believe replaying games is a waste of time, when there is so much out there to be played.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Third on July 15, 2009, 08:02:12 PM
So you don't have a backlog?

I could never waste time on a shitty game like The Conduit (let alone finish it) since there are so many better released games out there.

But hey, it's not my problem that you like to finish shitty games that waste your time.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 15, 2009, 08:09:13 PM
Of course I have a backlog. Why would I replay games if I did?
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Third on July 15, 2009, 08:14:11 PM
The impression I get from someone who finishes The Conduit is that he just doesn't have any other games to play, or is a Wii-only owner.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 15, 2009, 08:17:42 PM
Well it only took a day to beat, I've done worse for an achievement.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 15, 2009, 08:50:30 PM
WoW isn't really a game though...
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 15, 2009, 08:52:35 PM
That's on PC... I dont really consider that a platform?
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 15, 2009, 09:01:57 PM
FFXI isn't really a game... see WoW
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 15, 2009, 09:07:43 PM
I've played those, Kosma. They're bad games.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Yeti on July 15, 2009, 10:09:11 PM
Yeah because consoles don't have a mouse.

Super Nintendo did.  :smug
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 15, 2009, 10:10:54 PM
I think that counts as a destroy... I knew I liked you Yeti
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 16, 2009, 05:49:10 AM
Sounds like someone is getting a little frustrated at this harsh dose of reality... time for another vacation :smug
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: The Sceneman on July 16, 2009, 07:06:47 AM
I finished it on "Elevated"

The last two levels are easily some of the worst designed I've ever played. COD4 Ferris Wheel has nothing on this. WOW. I am still in shock at how BAD the game is.

You beat that on Veterna? :bow

I died dozens of times on normal there. Even after the Big Bird has landed :'(

I beat it on Veteran too. It was pretty hard/annoying
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: originalz on July 17, 2009, 05:11:51 AM
The typical Conduit fan

[youtube=560,345]OWGTA9w4OD8[/youtube]

Ahahahahaha
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 18, 2009, 06:59:25 PM
That is the best review I've ever read
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Bildi on July 19, 2009, 09:35:29 PM
Turok 2 is the only game I have ever traded in.

What a disappointing shitfest.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: twerd on July 19, 2009, 10:02:02 PM
Playing FPSes on the N64 was shit regardless of game.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 19, 2009, 10:07:30 PM
Perfect Dark > The Conduit
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Crushed on July 19, 2009, 10:17:11 PM
wtf you nooblords, turok 2 owned
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 19, 2009, 11:46:48 PM
turok 2 remains quite possibly the worst fps i have ever played

it didn't so much have level design as level diarrhea
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: archie4208 on July 19, 2009, 11:48:14 PM
turok 2 remains quite possibly the worst fps i have ever played

I'm assuming you haven't played The Conduit then.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: bork on July 20, 2009, 12:49:15 AM
wtf you nooblords, turok 2 owned

Acclaim  :lol :lol :lol :lol :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: tiesto on July 20, 2009, 11:17:21 AM
turok 2 remains quite possibly the worst fps i have ever played

it didn't so much have level design as level diarrhea

Count your blessings you never played that one PS2 game where Bin Laden was the end guy... fucking horrible.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Great Rumbler on July 20, 2009, 01:01:03 PM
wtf you nooblords, turok 2 owned
Man, I was one of the distinguished mentally-challenged fellows that liked the game that came out. Apparently quite a few gaming magazines/sites also loved it since it received a 9 Edge, GameSpot and IGN so we weren't alone! I tried playing it again recently and it's pretty fucking awful. Seriously.

It was a game that was fun to play at the time, but aged very poorly. Nothing new or mind-blowing about that.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Crushed on July 20, 2009, 01:01:36 PM
ok admittedly i haven't played the game since i was a child and blood shooting out of a dino-alien head while i activated all cheat codes MAY have swayed my opinion a bit
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 20, 2009, 01:10:07 PM
Banned
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich on July 21, 2009, 05:31:06 PM
http://www.high-voltage.com/store.htm

brb buying OFFICIAL conduit merch 8)
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: demi on July 21, 2009, 05:39:38 PM
omg their site... in bold letters "Thanks for your support!" and there's a wheelchair guy just right there.
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Crushed on July 21, 2009, 05:43:21 PM
sweet, gonna download some HIGH VOLTAGE SOFTWARE wallpapers

(http://www.high-voltage.com/wallpapers/hvs_hotrod4_1024_768.jpg)
Title: Re: My review of The Conduit
Post by: Bildi on July 21, 2009, 07:22:40 PM
wtf you nooblords, turok 2 owned

:rofl

Unless you mean it owned Turok 3, then I'd agree.