THE BORE

General => Video Game Bored => Topic started by: border on July 24, 2009, 02:13:56 AM

Title: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: border on July 24, 2009, 02:13:56 AM
This is simply too bizarre and non-sequitor for just the Gaming Forum.  Plus the subject in question is arguably not even a game.  You could call it an interactive movie except for the fact that there isn't even any full-motion video.  It's an interactive narrative slideshow.  With lotsa skin (both male and female).

http://www.gametrailers.com/video/angry-video-screwattack/52921 (http://www.gametrailers.com/video/angry-video-screwattack/52921)

I've grown a bit tired of the Angry Video Game Nerd as of late, because it's usually just a bunch of cursing and poorly made licensed platformers.  Some guy calling an LJN game a "shitpile of fuck" isn't that funny.  But this monstrosity is something entirely different.  The game itself is absolutely ridiculous and abstract, and the commentary only adds to things.  It's easily the best AVGN in years.  He doesn't even mention the hilariously stereotypical Asian FOB narrator for the scene selection screens.

I'd love to give this garbage a spin......is there a functional 3D0 emulator?  Are there even ROM sites for this garbage?
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 24, 2009, 02:26:51 AM
this was one of the best ones he's done, for sure. on the other hand, plumbers don't wear ties would be HIDEOS-ly funny even without the surly commentary
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: bork on July 24, 2009, 02:30:04 AM
Sorry Border, I didn't read that first line.  You're right; it's barely a "game" anyway.  Moved back to Real Talk!
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: border on July 24, 2009, 02:40:26 AM
It's kinda weird to think back to that era, where people thought this was going to be the future of entertainment (FMV + user-controlled stories).  At the time I think there were even people making movies in this format, where they'd film a bunch of stuff and the audience would vote on which direction the narrative would take.  None of that ever got beyond the testing phase, of course.  Strangely they hit the same barrier that prevents current day game developers from giving players real, significant tangible choices -- every branch of a story requires a ton of money to produce, and if players chose the opposite branch then you've spent all this money producing 1 possible narrative that won't be seen by the customer.  It just doesn't make economical sense to spend so much effort on alternate narratives, so every choice we're given in a game is usually just a side mission or a sub-plot that quickly concludes so that the freedom-less main narrative can continue (consider the PlayboyX storyline of GTA4).

Fortunately, Plumbers Don't Wear Ties doesn't have this problem since it's such an incredibly cheap piece of shit that they could film several varied storylines and let you swap between them.  I'd like to get ahold of the real game and play out all the alternate choices. 
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on July 24, 2009, 02:51:00 AM
OK, this has inspired me to press on with my game project.  A new bar has been set.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: demi on July 24, 2009, 02:56:53 AM
You can play it just fine, theres a pretty good 3DO emu.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: demi on July 24, 2009, 02:58:38 AM
http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/2096/31504640.jpg
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: MCD on July 24, 2009, 02:59:22 AM
TVC COOOOOOME BAAAAAAAAK
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Bloodwake on July 24, 2009, 03:26:50 AM
Yeah, the only two good AVGN videos in the past few months have been

-this one
-the combo review of that TMNT "making of" concert video with the Nostalgia Critic.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Sho Nuff on July 24, 2009, 04:02:25 AM
I read a review of this in PC Gamer circa The Old Days and I didn't believe it could be THAT bad.

It is! The walkthrough on Gamefaqs is also incredible, there's basically ONE PATH THROUGH THE GAME and it takes 20 minutes and that's all she wrote
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: bork on July 24, 2009, 04:03:02 AM
AVGN's stuff is always entertaining.  Even a "bad" Nerd video is still fucking great.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Bloodwake on July 24, 2009, 01:23:34 PM
AVGN's stuff is always entertaining.  Even a "bad" Nerd video is still fucking great.

Yeah, pretty much. I'm thoroughly entertained even if the video isn't funny at all, which was the case with his recent Terminator game reviews.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 24, 2009, 01:51:04 PM
Holy shit, Prole sounds exactly like the guy narrating the menu choices! :lol
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: demi on July 24, 2009, 02:12:15 PM
I downloaded a bunch of 3DO games

Here's me playing Killing Time

http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/1189/62748050.jpg

This emu is hard to play with a keyboard, so I'm gonna try using joy2key
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Christopher on July 24, 2009, 04:33:59 PM
border isn't time crisis like that where they have a whole bunch of scenrios that you could never see play out if you take different paths??
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Barry Egan on July 24, 2009, 05:51:07 PM
that was an awesome AVGN. Fuck.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Barry Egan on July 24, 2009, 07:03:18 PM
The game ends with the guy admitting that he's a plumber and the women responding "dont be silly...plumbers don't wear ties!" so I guess that explains the title or something ??? 
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: demi on July 24, 2009, 07:10:35 PM
John also explains it in the very beginning video. "Wear your tie I got you!" "I'm a plumber, ma"
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Great Rumbler on July 24, 2009, 07:50:50 PM
I think the most egregiously awful thing, in the long sequence of egregiously awful things, is the outtake in that scene towards the end remaining in the game, complete with laughing, and a long time spent waiting for them to restart the audio recording, all for something that was not even remotely funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4q6-7CiU0w&annotation_id=annotation_604000&feature=iv

smh x1000
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: border on July 24, 2009, 09:00:30 PM
border isn't time crisis like that where they have a whole bunch of scenrios that you could never see play out if you take different paths??

Rail shooters tend to have branching paths......not so much branching narratives.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: cool breeze on July 25, 2009, 12:43:50 AM
It's kinda weird to think back to that era, where people thought this was going to be the future of entertainment (FMV + user-controlled stories).  At the time I think there were even people making movies in this format, where they'd film a bunch of stuff and the audience would vote on which direction the narrative would take.  None of that ever got beyond the testing phase, of course.  Strangely they hit the same barrier that prevents current day game developers from giving players real, significant tangible choices -- every branch of a story requires a ton of money to produce, and if players chose the opposite branch then you've spent all this money producing 1 possible narrative that won't be seen by the customer.  It just doesn't make economical sense to spend so much effort on alternate narratives, so every choice we're given in a game is usually just a side mission or a sub-plot that quickly concludes so that the freedom-less main narrative can continue (consider the PlayboyX storyline of GTA4).

Fortunately, Plumbers Don't Wear Ties doesn't have this problem since it's such an incredibly cheap piece of shit that they could film several varied storylines and let you swap between them.  I'd like to get ahold of the real game and play out all the alternate choices. 

That is one reason I really like Way of the Samurai.  The story of the game changes depending on what you do; one ending is actually just leaving and not getting involved in that shit.  Each story/game is short, but it's better that way.  I wish more games were short and depended on replaying them different ways.  Dead Rising was like that also and it's one reason it was awesome.  I mean, people bitched that they couldn't play the whole game one time through, the save system and the time management.  More games need consequences and alternate paths.  I remember on an old GFW podcast, they talked about how in Bully it would be a lot more cool if a chase sequence could end either if you caught the guy or he got away.  Instead, if you don't catch him, you try it again.  But again, people would probably complain about that.  It's a bit like Burnout Paradise and how they intended you to lose/win one event and go onto the next one.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Hollywood on July 25, 2009, 03:56:39 AM
Holy shit how does something like this even come to fruition?  :lol

It's like a distinguished mentally-challenged guy on acid decided one day to make a 3D0 game by hiring a model and two other guys, and taking pictures on throwaway camera.  What the fuck is that shit?

EDIT: I also happened to look at the GameFAQ's page for the game and its the #1 game on the 3D0 section.

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/gentopic.php?board=584456
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Great Rumbler on July 25, 2009, 10:55:43 AM
Holy shit how does something like this even come to fruition?  :lol

It's like a distinguished mentally-challenged guy on acid decided one day to make a 3D0 game by hiring a model and two other guys, and taking pictures on throwaway camera.  What the fuck is that shit?

EDIT: I also happened to look at the GameFAQ's page for the game and its the #1 game on the 3D0 section.

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/gentopic.php?board=584456

It's basically a flash game that somehow manages to get a retail release.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Barry Egan on July 25, 2009, 11:49:39 AM
that's a good way to look at it.  Like a typically incoherent Newgrounds submission wandering off and finding itself on the 3DO.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Hollywood on July 27, 2009, 02:58:47 AM
Someone sent me a youtube link to a guy doing the same thing to Mortal Kombat The Movie. Or maybe it was the Street Fighter movie. I wonder if it was this guy.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Bloodwake on July 30, 2009, 03:15:13 PM
Someone sent me a youtube link to a guy doing the same thing to Mortal Kombat The Movie. Or maybe it was the Street Fighter movie. I wonder if it was this guy.

No, more than likely it's the Nostalgia Critic.

http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com (http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com)

He's the AVGN of movies and just as funny if not moreso at times. In fact, the AVGN and the Critic have done videos together. The only reason I say this is because the Critic did both Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter the movie. M. Bison becomes sort of a running joke in his videos after that.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: cool breeze on August 04, 2009, 09:08:13 PM
I think the point is that it's supposed to be like playing a bad game with a buddy, except without any of that social element to it, and you not having any commentary at all.

Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: demi on August 04, 2009, 09:08:22 PM
sounds like we got a hater
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: demi on August 04, 2009, 09:11:09 PM
Your commentary is hilarious but you ruin it with your HATERADE
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: bork on August 04, 2009, 09:56:11 PM
James Rolfe is fuckin' great.  Hating on the nerd?  WTF?   :o
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: TakingBackSunday on August 05, 2009, 12:47:28 AM
I think he's awful too, don't worry
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: demi on August 05, 2009, 12:52:57 AM
:lol Don't worry Cohen. It's ok, now.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Great Rumbler on August 05, 2009, 12:18:35 PM
Better than Fallout 3 but then what isn't.

lol
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: TakingBackSunday on August 05, 2009, 12:19:46 PM
The dude who does those really fast paced animated hate-views on videogames is infinitely better.
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Oblivion on August 05, 2009, 04:53:39 PM
The dude who does those really fast paced animated hate-views on videogames is infinitely better.

Who?
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: TakingBackSunday on August 05, 2009, 04:57:02 PM
Oh now I remember.  Yahtzee, from the Escapist thing
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Oblivion on August 05, 2009, 05:04:03 PM
Ah, yeah. He's pretty funny.

I also like this guy, tho.  :-[
Title: Re: AVGN reviews the worst game ever made (HINT: 3D0, huge breasts, neckties)
Post by: Hollywood on August 07, 2009, 02:55:53 AM
I've been watching his videos lately, its amazing how many NES games I've had or played that are on these lists. The new one is on Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle, pretty good. I used to have this game on NES as a kid and I beat it, its not horrible but you do the same shit over and over again.