THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: twerd on September 22, 2009, 04:14:47 AM

Title: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: twerd on September 22, 2009, 04:14:47 AM: http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/09/21/looking-at-naked-ladies-makes-you-gay

In case you missed it:

Quote
"And one of the things that he said to me, that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark. He said, 'all pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.... And if you, if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants.” You know, that’s a, that’s a good comment. It’s a good point and it’s a good thing to teach young people."

We should teach boys that pornography—even pictures of naked ladies—and masturbation—which 99.999999% of them engage in—will turn them gay. Because masturbation turns them "inward." Because, hey, every time you touch your own cock, every time you give yourself an orgasm, you've just... um, what? Desensitizing yourself to sucking off strangers in toilets?

These comments—which are everywhere today—were offered up at a panel on masculinity at this weekend's Value Voters Summit in Washington D.C. And not by some lunatic in the audience who got ahold of a mic and was quickly laughed out of the room, but by Michael Schwartz, chief of staff for Sen. Tom Coburn. What is there to say besides... these people are, well, first and foremost: these people are nuts. And they're absolutely terrified of human sexuality. They're afraid of women having control of their own reproductive systems, they're afraid of pornography, they're afraid of masturbation, of birth control, of homosexuality. And since they refuse to accept that homosexuality isn't a choice—for reasons political as well as religious—they have to look for environmental causes, for accidents and incidents, for trapdoors that normal, red-blooded 'merican men can fall through and into the homosexuality lifestyle.

Or they have to pretend that that's what they're doing. I don't believe that Schwartz actually believes what he said and I don't think that his audience really believes it either. The real key to Schwartz's real meaning came in a comment he made a bit earlier, in an observation about 11-year-old boys:

Quote
"They speak badly about homosexuality. And that’s because they don’t want to be that way. They don’t want to fall into it."

So lie to them about it—tell them pornography, which we don't like, and masturbation, which we don't like, will lead to homosexuality, which we detest. Doesn't matter if it's not true. Exploit their fears of homosexuality to keep them away from porn and keep them from masturbating—away from pleasure—and further stigmatize homosexuals in the eyes of straight boys and further terrify and isolate gay boys. Hey, we already lie to them about the harms of premarital sex, the effectiveness of birth control, the protections that condoms provide, the emotional consequences of abortion, and the existential threat that gay marriage supposedly poses to "opposite-marriage." What's one more lie?

What's most amazing about this particular lie is how easily disproved it is. If pornography and masturbation makes you gay... how come all men aren't gay?

:bow Savage :bow2
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: Raban on September 22, 2009, 05:12:39 AM: I love to jack off.

EDIT: This isn't entirely surprising, but it really makes no sense on a multitude of levels. I stopped listening to anything that comes out of the religious community ages ago, and I'm pretty sure most of the free world is doing the same thing. Apathy +1.
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: Phoenix Dark on September 22, 2009, 05:17:07 AM: Why doesn't it make sense? When you masturbate you're performing a homosexual act on yourself :smug
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: Raban on September 22, 2009, 05:24:19 AM: Quote from: Phoenix Dark on September 22, 2009, 05:17:07 AM
Why doesn't it make sense? When you masturbate you're performing a homosexual act on yourself :smug

Because homosexuality has to be between two people, just like sex has to be between two people. The very definition of masturbation is self-gratification. Masturbation is nonsexual. It's like scratching an itch. It isn't gay or straight.

I love how as religious people continue to peek their heads out into the real world they kind of seal their place in the world as the font of stupidity. Eventually all encyclopedias will just show a picture of the Holy Bible under the word "Stupid". You not only have to be a regular idiot to think that jacking off is gay, but you have to have a less than basic understanding of the English language and what the words masturbation, sexuality, and the prefix homo- even mean. It's like these people seclude themselves from the regular thought patterns of human beings to nurture an alternate reality of batshit craziness.

I don't know why I bothered to elaborate on my post because I know you're joking, PD, I guess I'm just flapping my gills.
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Or fapping...my...gills? ???
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Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: brawndolicious on September 22, 2009, 06:51:06 AM: I don't find it outrageous anymore when I hear something stupid like this about sex and depravity. I have no doubt that hillibilly homophobes poke the worm to every silicone bra infomercial that they see, but they still support these types of speakers because if you call somebody really depraved for no good reason, you'll sound insane. And if you sound really insane, people will nearly take your opinions seriously. Which is really all homophobes can hope for at this point.
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: MCD on September 22, 2009, 07:11:51 AM: i must be the biggest homo on planet then.
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: Brehvolution on September 22, 2009, 10:01:04 AM: :piss religion :piss2

Keeping with the hypocrisy that makes one a republican, I'm willing to bet Mr. Coburn wanks it multiple times a day.
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: twerd on September 22, 2009, 12:32:33 PM: if you have multiple personality disorder and you masturbate is that gay?
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: CajoleJuice on September 22, 2009, 12:59:13 PM: I just JO'd to that article.
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: Saint Cornelius on September 22, 2009, 01:10:27 PM: As long as you don't eat your spunk* then you're not gay.

*you can do it once out of curiosity, any more than that and you're queer
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: Robo on September 22, 2009, 01:23:54 PM: Same rule applies for thumbing your butt.
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: demi on September 22, 2009, 06:48:43 PM: Quote from: Raban on September 22, 2009, 05:12:39 AM
I love to jack off.

:-*
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: demi on September 22, 2009, 06:49:13 PM: Quote from: Phoenix Dark on September 22, 2009, 05:17:07 AM
Why doesn't it make sense? When you masturbate you're performing a homosexual act on yourself :smug

What about when a doctor does it? :smug
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: Diunx on September 22, 2009, 06:51:46 PM: This just make it even more hotter tbh.
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 22, 2009, 07:17:05 PM: I'm only into JOing, no gay stuff.
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: Diunx on September 22, 2009, 07:20:42 PM: Its not gay if there is a tornado in the area.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
god I will never forget that storie
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Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: drew on September 22, 2009, 07:21:50 PM: im into jacking off and gay stuff

no homo
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: Himu on September 22, 2009, 07:31:36 PM: No wonder I'm so gay for prole's cock.
Title: Re: MASTURBATION IS GAY!!!11
Post by: Trent Dole on September 22, 2009, 09:26:06 PM: Quote from: Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
8)