THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: muckhole on October 19, 2009, 07:28:54 PM

Title: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: muckhole on October 19, 2009, 07:28:54 PM
Well, tomorrow is the big day. I get snipped. Starting to get just a little nervous, given the sensitive area where the operation is taking place. I was going to opt for the "no scalpel-technique" that I consistently hear about on the radio, until my Doc informed me that the reason they don't need a scalpel is because they just use a BARBED HOOK to punch a hole through your scrotum. Hoooo.

So no future little Muckys, which means naturally one of you, chosen through a draw, will be responsible for taking care of me when I'm old, poor and incontinent. Some of you may want to start practicing wiping stranger's asses now to get a head start.

If I die on the table, don't let demi have me taxidermed.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: The Fake Shemp on October 19, 2009, 07:30:30 PM
Sounds like fun!
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Diunx on October 19, 2009, 07:31:03 PM
Do they install you fake balls or just leave the sack empty?
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: demi on October 19, 2009, 07:32:11 PM
try not to be too embarassed by your small cock
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: muckhole on October 19, 2009, 07:35:45 PM
try not to be too embarassed by your small cock

I'm going to tie a popsicle stick to it before I go in so it will stand up and look bigger.

Do they install you fake balls or just leave the sack empty?

Neither, but either would be pretty cool.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: twerd on October 19, 2009, 07:36:09 PM
fuck the thread title, i can't even see or hear the word without my nutsack screaming.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: chronovore on October 19, 2009, 07:39:12 PM
Do they install you fake balls or just leave the sack empty?

It's just the pipes, dood. No more trains running between Ballburg and Cocktown.

Mucky, make sure they get you all the different options. Just cutting it can lead to reconnection in rare cases. My friend got the full monty (sorry): snipped, ends cauterized, folded back and somehow held in place. I'm remembering "staples" but that can't be right.

Good luck!
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: muckhole on October 19, 2009, 07:42:06 PM
Mucky, make sure they get you all the different options. Just cutting it can lead to reconnection in rare cases. My friend got the full monty (sorry): snipped, ends cauterized, folded back and somehow held in place. I'm remembering "staples" but that can't be right.

Good luck!

Interesting. I was supposed to have a meet-n-greet with the doctor performing the surgery, but due to my schedule, it got pushed back to the morning of. So it's chopped, or chopped, burned and pinned down? Decisions, decisions.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: chronovore on October 19, 2009, 07:44:02 PM
And make sure to have the doc clarify how long your "no sex or wanking" window is. Don't want to indulge early and create complications.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Fragamemnon on October 19, 2009, 07:47:02 PM
I had mine done years ago-when I was 25 or so. It wasn't that bad at all, don't sweat it. You play games for the next few days and you're fine afterwards.

Once you know you don't want more/any kids, run, not walk, to get this procedure done. Extremely liberating.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 19, 2009, 07:47:50 PM
Why not freeze some sperm just in case you change your mind?
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Diunx on October 19, 2009, 07:49:08 PM
And make sure to have the doc clarify how long your "no sex or wanking" window is. Don't want to indulge early and create complications.

He's gotta fap to get the remaining little muckholes out of there.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: muckhole on October 19, 2009, 07:51:15 PM
Why not freeze some sperm just in case you change your mind?

If I ever did change my mind, I'd just look into adoption. Don't see it happening though.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: chronovore on October 19, 2009, 08:16:24 PM
If you ever change your mind, adopt me. I'm not needy and I don't usually crap my pants without a very good reason.

Fixed.
spoiler (click to show/hide)
:-*
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Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Bildi on October 19, 2009, 08:23:20 PM
I presume your sperm will not have a different consistency or taste different?
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Fragamemnon on October 19, 2009, 08:35:09 PM
I presume your sperm will not have a different consistency or taste different?

The sperm composition (only thing changed by the vascectomy) of semen is like 2-5% or so, and to my knowledge not related to the fluidic composition at all.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: muckhole on October 19, 2009, 08:38:59 PM
I presume your sperm will not have a different consistency or taste different?

The sperm composition (only thing changed by the vascectomy) of semen is like 2-5% or so, and to my knowledge not related to the fluidic composition at all.

Hmm. Good to know.

Though it would be cool if it started coming out like Frank's Red-Hot or something.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Himu on October 19, 2009, 08:39:04 PM
How old are all of you? Isn't this a little hasty a decision to make in your 20's?
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: muckhole on October 19, 2009, 08:43:47 PM
How old are all of you? Isn't this a little hasty a decision to make in your 20's?

Oh no, I'm 36. I'm one of the old men of the board. I just don't act my age.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Himu on October 19, 2009, 08:46:52 PM
You're older than drinky!
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: muckhole on October 19, 2009, 08:52:38 PM
Am I? I think there's someone else here who out-olds me, but I can't recall who.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on October 19, 2009, 08:57:23 PM
I'm planning on doing this within the next year.

For all of my talk on population control, it'd be hypocritical of me not to undergo some.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 19, 2009, 09:18:43 PM
I'll take care of you but I get to inherit your business then!
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Fragamemnon on October 19, 2009, 09:23:29 PM
I presume your sperm will not have a different consistency or taste different?

The sperm composition (only thing changed by the vascectomy) of semen is like 2-5% or so, and to my knowledge not related to the fluidic composition at all.

Hmm. Good to know.

Though it would be cool if it started coming out like Frank's Red-Hot or something.

Maybe this is TMI, but your first ejaculation after the vascectomy will remind of you times loooong since past.  :lol

Quote
How old are all of you? Isn't this a little hasty a decision to make in your 20's?

Not at all, had it done in my 20's. Never wanted children and was as certain in that decision as one could possibly be certain of something.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 19, 2009, 09:41:36 PM
try not to be too embarassed by your small cock

I'm going to tie a popsicle stick to it before I go in so it will stand up and look bigger.

Do some last minute jelqing tonight to get ready.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: ToxicAdam on October 19, 2009, 10:00:45 PM
I still need to get around to doing this .... hmm

Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: drew on October 20, 2009, 12:04:44 AM
i assume youll be mailing me all your painkillers

i also assume you still have my address
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: E-DuB on October 20, 2009, 12:40:44 AM
My balls started to quiver in pain as I read your post Muck. All the best with the procedure.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: chronovore on October 20, 2009, 03:42:35 AM
Eel and Chrono.

We've mentioned this before, o'wise (yet forgetful) man!
Yeah, I'm 42. My walker arrives in the mail any day now.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Cormacaroni on October 20, 2009, 03:58:05 AM
And make sure to have the doc clarify how long your "no sex or wanking" window is. Don't want to indulge early and create complications.

I don't know what kind of medical horror could make me keep my hands off myself. Fates worse than death, and all that.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: chronovore on October 20, 2009, 04:43:25 AM
And make sure to have the doc clarify how long your "no sex or wanking" window is. Don't want to indulge early and create complications.

I don't know what kind of medical horror could make me keep my hands off myself. Fates worse than death, and all that.
I think it was Billy Connolly who  said when his friends first told him about masturbation, they said you could only do it a hundred times and, after that,you'd die of a stroke. He tried it and thought it was amazing -- but admitted, "So it was with great trepidation I approached my hundred-and-first time... later that same day."
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Brehvolution on October 20, 2009, 10:19:10 AM
It's a cake walk mucky. A couple of days in a jock strap and you'll be good as new.  :-*
I admit that I was a little turned on when the female nurse taped my dinky to my stomach. Maybe you will be too.

Good luck and enjoy the drugs.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: chronovore on October 20, 2009, 10:22:14 AM
As long as you weren't /as/ turned on when they pulled the tape off.  :o
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Brehvolution on October 20, 2009, 10:32:30 AM
As long as you weren't /as/ turned on when they pulled the tape off.  :o
Not really. But she did thank me for doing my own trim job. She was pretty good looking too. Had a nice rack.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: chronovore on October 20, 2009, 11:59:29 AM
As long as you weren't /as/ turned on when they pulled the tape off.  :o
Not really. But she did thank me for doing my own trim job. She was pretty good looking too. Had a nice rack.

Did you give her "the Kojak," "the runway," or "the Dorito"?
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Brehvolution on October 20, 2009, 12:38:20 PM
Knowing that you are about to have your scrote sliced open give you amazing boner control.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: The Fake Shemp on October 20, 2009, 12:58:39 PM
Is this thing ever reversible? Also, isn't there a relatively high percentage of it not working or something like that?
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Fragamemnon on October 20, 2009, 02:22:30 PM
Is this thing ever reversible? Also, isn't there a relatively high percentage of it not working or something like that?

Reversal is costly and is not a sure thing. If you aren't sure, don't do it.

In terms of it not working, that's a possibility, but it's not a high one with today's techniques. They take two semen samples spaced out a month or so after the procedure to determine when you are fully "clean".
 
Quote
If you don't have children you gonna regret it, man.

Heh, I swear other people second guess my decision not to have kids more than I do. Not that Borys is talking to me there (he's not), just an observation.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Brehvolution on October 20, 2009, 02:32:50 PM
Before I had mine done, the doctor said I was pretty young to get one. I told him I had 3 kids and he said, "I guess I'll STFU then."
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: The Fake Shemp on October 20, 2009, 02:55:24 PM
I kind of want to get one. I'm like, completely neurotic about having kids, to the point where I've stood up a girl twice within the past two weeks because I don't want to spend the night. I'm literally becoming celibate out of fear of impregnating a broad.

On the other hand, I know that's just my attitude towards children right now and I'm not sure if it's something I'd feel different about later in my life.

It's just becoming difficult for me to enjoy my sex life more and more, especially when I feel like I'm entering the age range where everyone has kids, with the prospect of getting someone pregnant looming over every decision.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Fragamemnon on October 20, 2009, 03:03:26 PM
I kind of want to get one. I'm like, completely neurotic about having kids, to the point where I've stood up a girl twice within the past two weeks because I don't want to spend the night. I'm literally becoming celibate out of fear of impregnating a broad.

On the other hand, I know that's just my attitude towards children right now and I'm not sure if it's something I'd feel different about later in my life.

It's just becoming difficult for me to enjoy my sex life more and more, especially when I feel like I'm entering the age range where everyone has kids, with the prospect of getting some pregnant looming over every decision.

It's a hard call. I went through the above for years as well before I got mine done. The thing is that you have to be sure of it-not in the sense of "oh god I really don't want a kid now, it would mess up everything!" but "I really don't want children, ever".  Then you have to find a woman who's on the same page as you are on this issue. And by that, I mean not "yeah I'm not ready to have kids" but "I never want to have kids, that's "tantamount to slavery"[1]), because god help you if you get into a long term relationship where you don't agree on parenting.

[1]-Direct quote from my wonderful wife.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: The Fake Shemp on October 20, 2009, 03:16:19 PM
Well, I am pursuing a Hollywood career, so my current long term relationship prospects are pretty much nil and I am very honest about that with anyone I date (it has already led to one break up).

I do run into a lot into women that don't want to have kids now, but would like to have one or two (or more) some time down the line. I don't think I've ever met a woman that has flat out said she does not want children. Those are treacherous waters to navigate.

But it is really becoming an issue, especially as I get older, and I feel like the fear of parenthood is forcing me to alienate myself from the opposite sex. I cannot even imagine I would have refused to go out with someone out of fear of possible sexual relations in my early-twenties, but that is most definitely the case now.

It is really bothering me, though. It sucks, because I am a very social creature and I like interacting with the opposite sex, but now I feel I need to withdrawal before it leads to something.

Even if I use protection, my mind runs wild with doubts about condoms breaking, failure in birth control, etc. It doesn't help that I am actually the product of an unplanned pregnancy - and both my parents used protection. Anytime I think that the pill and condoms are foolproof, I just look in the mirror.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Akala on October 20, 2009, 03:42:38 PM
I kind of want to get one. I'm like, completely neurotic about having kids, to the point where I've stood up a girl twice within the past two weeks because I don't want to spend the night. I'm literally becoming celibate out of fear of impregnating a broad.

On the other hand, I know that's just my attitude towards children right now and I'm not sure if it's something I'd feel different about later in my life.

It's just becoming difficult for me to enjoy my sex life more and more, especially when I feel like I'm entering the age range where everyone has kids, with the prospect of getting some pregnant looming over every decision.

It's a hard call. I went through the above for years as well before I got mine done. The thing is that you have to be sure of it-not in the sense of "oh god I really don't want a kid now, it would mess up everything!" but "I really don't want children, ever".  Then you have to find a woman who's on the same page as you are on this issue. And by that, I mean not "yeah I'm not ready to have kids" but "I never want to have kids, that's "tantamount to slavery"[1]), because god help you if you get into a long term relationship where you don't agree on parenting.

[1]-Direct quote from my wonderful wife.

That's the kicker. I think that I would like a kid or two someday, but I want to be in a position first to be able to provide without worry, and that just keeps getting pushed further and further. Hitting thirty next year, so it's getting to the latter end of the 'I'll be free when I'm young enough to still have fun" end of the spectrum. :(

My parents didn't have me until they were almost 40 though, and I really think that's a better time to do it. My wife disagrees.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: muckhole on October 20, 2009, 06:15:31 PM
Quick update: The secretary screwed up, and they have now pushed my appointment to the 27th. So I get to do all this fretting over again!! Yay!  :-\

Feel bad for the gf, who has everything ready and in reach of my spot on the couch.

Practice run then, I guess.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Brehvolution on October 20, 2009, 07:25:55 PM
Quick update: The secretary screwed up, and they have now pushed my appointment to the 27th. So I get to do all this fretting over again!! Yay!  :-\

Feel bad for the gf, who has everything ready and in reach of my spot on the couch.

Practice run then, I guess.

Tell her the doc says to use the extra time to keep the pipes clean.  ;)
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: chronovore on October 20, 2009, 08:03:50 PM
Mucky doesn't want any more kids, or doesn't want any kids?

Also, I thought I was being clever to wait until 32 to have kids, giving us more time as a couple, giving me more time to goof off and play, but the longer you wait, just add 13 years to that and you will have A TEENAGER to deal with. Think back on what a joy you were in Jr. high and high school, and wonder how much energy you'll have at the age you'll be when you'll have to deal with that in your own kids.  :(
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Fragamemnon on October 20, 2009, 09:42:46 PM
Mucky doesn't want any more kids, or doesn't want any kids?

Also, I thought I was being clever to wait until 32 to have kids, giving us more time as a couple, giving me more time to goof off and play, but the longer you wait, just add 13 years to that and you will have A TEENAGER to deal with. Think back on what a joy you were in Jr. high and high school, and wonder how much energy you'll have at the age you'll be when you'll have to deal with that in your own kids.  :(

Hey, and it's even better when they move back home after college at 22 when you're getting ready to retire.

Probably makes one almost nostalgic for the soul-wrenching depression that is attending a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party.

 :yuck kids  :yuck
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Himu on October 20, 2009, 09:49:54 PM

Probably makes one almost nostalgic for the soul-wrenching depression that is attending a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party.


Oh GOD. Why did you bring this up?!
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: chronovore on October 20, 2009, 10:21:13 PM
Mucky doesn't want any more kids, or doesn't want any kids?

Also, I thought I was being clever to wait until 32 to have kids, giving us more time as a couple, giving me more time to goof off and play, but the longer you wait, just add 13 years to that and you will have A TEENAGER to deal with. Think back on what a joy you were in Jr. high and high school, and wonder how much energy you'll have at the age you'll be when you'll have to deal with that in your own kids.  :(

Hey, and it's even better when they move back home after college at 22 when you're getting ready to retire.

Probably makes one almost nostalgic for the soul-wrenching depression that is attending a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party.

 :yuck kids  :yuck


Where's the "EEEEEEEEEEEEEP!?" emoticon?
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: muckhole on October 27, 2009, 12:34:54 PM
Well, the deed is done. No major problems, with the exception of the doc not using enough freezing on the my right side, so I got a jolt that I can best describe as a slow kick in the pills. I was mid sentence too. We were talking about replacing his office computer's CD drive.

HIM: "So it's just a ribbon cable or something like that?"

ME: "Yeah, once you have the case mmmehhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN"

HIM: "You could feel that?!"

Otherwise, pretty quick and simple. The freezing is starting to wear off now, so the lingering feeling of being hit in the balls is returning, hopefully not too much so.

So now I just have to kick back and relax. I wonder if I will get fat and lazy like my mom's cat now.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Bocsius on October 27, 2009, 12:42:03 PM
Alright, privates, off we go. That's odd, there's nothing on the map about this dead end. Are you sure we have the right intel?
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: duckman2000 on October 27, 2009, 12:47:04 PM
Who the fuck actually takes their kids to Chuck E Cheeses? We do birthday parties at home, and that's all there's ever going to be. Hell, I'm even cracking down on the themes, there will be plain birthdays from year 5 and onward.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: muckhole on October 27, 2009, 12:52:12 PM
Now people, quick, spam this thread with very arousing NSFW material!

 :lol You cold bastard.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 27, 2009, 01:19:43 PM
 :lol 

God the "mmmehhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN" made my stomach turn. 

Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Brehvolution on October 27, 2009, 01:53:37 PM
Quote
HIM: "You could feel that?!"

Same thing happened to me.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: demi on October 27, 2009, 02:15:33 PM
I want to see pics of your child like baby cock
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: muckhole on October 27, 2009, 02:23:58 PM
I want to see pics of your child like baby cock

Once the swelling starts, it will completely obscure my not-significant manhood. I'll look like a eunuch smuggling a basketball.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 27, 2009, 02:26:05 PM
 :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 27, 2009, 09:45:10 PM
:rofl
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: chronovore on October 28, 2009, 09:14:21 AM
"slow kick in the pills" OM f'ing GEE. I think my own nuts just batmobile'd.
Title: Re: Vasectomeee! Vasectom-Youuuuuu!
Post by: Cormacaroni on October 28, 2009, 09:21:11 AM
congrats on your newfound eunuch-hood muckhole!

spoiler (click to show/hide)
you're still all the man I'll ever need  :-*
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