THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Billy Rygar on November 27, 2009, 03:01:16 PM

Title: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Billy Rygar on November 27, 2009, 03:01:16 PM
Or just injured in a car accident.  Too early to tell.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on November 27, 2009, 03:04:08 PM
He crashed into a fire hydrant and then a tree pulling out of his fucking driveway.

I guess he's only good at golf.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on November 27, 2009, 03:05:43 PM
http://sports.espn.go.com/golf/news/story?id=4693657

Quote
However, the highway patrol said the crash was not alcohol-related.

Worst driver ever.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on November 27, 2009, 03:06:39 PM
ORLANDO, Fla. -- Tiger Woods has been seriously injured in a car wreck in Florida, authorities said Friday.

The Florida Highway Patrol said Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree as he pulled out of his driveway early Friday in his 2009 Cadillac sport utility vehicle.

Woods was taken to Health Central Hospital. His condition was not immediately known, though the news release said his injuries were serious.

The airbags in the car did not deploy, according to a report in the Orlando Sentinel. The newspaper said that airbags typically do not deploy if a vehicle is traveling less than 33 miles per hour.

The highway patrol says the crash is still under investigation, and charges are pending. However, the highway patrol said the crash was not alcohol-related.

The Orange County Fire Rescue received a call about the accident at 2:28 a.m. ET. The Florida Highway Patrol did not report it until 2 p.m. ET.

... Jack Nicklaus' sorcery works yet again!
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on November 27, 2009, 03:10:39 PM
I guess Tiger really is black; he got so excited over Black Friday deals that he hit a tree and a fire hydrant just pulling out.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on November 27, 2009, 03:11:44 PM
I guess Tiger really is black; he got so excited over Black Friday deals that he hit a tree and a fire hydrant just pulling out.

And he was driving an Escalade.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Bocsius on November 27, 2009, 03:17:51 PM
The tree wanted it.

Not sure about the hydrant, though.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on November 27, 2009, 03:24:18 PM
wow
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich on November 27, 2009, 03:28:10 PM
asian drivers :lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ferrarimanf355 on November 27, 2009, 03:30:09 PM
Cablinasian drivers :lol
Fixed.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: BlackMage on November 27, 2009, 03:31:02 PM
nice thread title.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on November 27, 2009, 03:38:09 PM
Still love the thread title. :rofl
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Robo on November 27, 2009, 03:46:10 PM
Still love the thread title. :rofl

Genghis Cohen doesn't respect woods.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Don Flamenco on November 27, 2009, 04:03:27 PM
*cue american uproar over the functionality of airbags in cars*

Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on November 27, 2009, 04:04:41 PM
Still love the thread title. :rofl

Genghis Cohen doesn't respect woods.

 :teehee
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on November 27, 2009, 04:12:09 PM
To be fair, The Business, Tiger hit both a tree and a fire hydrant.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: drew on November 27, 2009, 04:12:45 PM
The Florida Highway Patrol said

Quote
Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree as he pulled out of his driveway

Quote
the news release said his injuries were serious.

does not compute
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on November 27, 2009, 04:15:13 PM
Highway Patrol could've easily been first responders, or handling the public relations due to his profile.

How he hit a tree and a fire hydrant pulling out of his driveway, and ended up in serious condition as a result, is anybody's guess.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: BobFromPikeCreek on November 27, 2009, 06:13:10 PM
Pulling out of his driveway? :lol :lol

It's going to be hard for anyone to take this seriously.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Joe Molotov on November 27, 2009, 06:40:09 PM
Tiger Tiger Woods ya'll!
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Barry Egan on November 27, 2009, 06:49:41 PM
RIP Tiger Woods.

RIP.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Mr. Gundam on November 27, 2009, 06:52:31 PM
So I get how he could've pulled out of his driveway front end first, but this still seems really odd.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on November 27, 2009, 07:31:08 PM
I guess Tiger really is really a jew; he got so excited over Black Friday deals that he hit a tree and a fire hydrant just pulling out.

yes yes

Jews have a fear of long lines for obvious reasons.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: drew on November 27, 2009, 07:37:10 PM
i bet hes one of those people* that mount their hand on the front passenger seat and look out the back window instead of using the side mirrors smh

spoiler (click to show/hide)
*no racist :interracial
[close]
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on November 27, 2009, 07:38:40 PM
"It was a funny angle!"
"It's behind you, Tiger. When you go in reverse, things come from behind you."
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: OptimoPeach on November 27, 2009, 08:50:31 PM
Still love the thread title. :rofl

Genghis Cohen doesn't respect woods.
:lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: drew on November 27, 2009, 08:54:43 PM
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit thats cold  :o

interesting how you react to something like that but black hate is like an instinct

/me writes down username under Borys (and draws a hairy biker squatting down with their name coming out like its shit
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Brehvolution on November 27, 2009, 09:02:57 PM
He wanted to hit the tree to feel what a golf ball feels.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: drew on November 27, 2009, 09:11:08 PM
kosma as a kid:

[youtube=560,345]u5DKLDOm7mA[/youtube]
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Bacchus7 on November 27, 2009, 09:30:48 PM
Nice drive, Tiger.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: drew on November 27, 2009, 09:31:35 PM
stop going off topic please
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on November 27, 2009, 09:32:08 PM
Tiger's wife was angry about him playing on some other fairways.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ToxicAdam on November 27, 2009, 09:33:14 PM
I don't think there's any doubt who wears the pants in the Woods' household. Tiger probably got bitchslapped and ran away crying and hysterical.

Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Diunx on November 27, 2009, 09:58:31 PM
I wanted to make a golf car joke but I can't think of one, maybe its because its Friday and I don't have any alcohol on my precious blood.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on November 27, 2009, 10:54:07 PM
Yeah, what's he doing backing out the driveway at 2:30 in the morning?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Bocsius on November 27, 2009, 11:00:33 PM
Yeah, what's he doing backing out the driveway at 2:30 in the morning?

Uh, black Friday sales?

Apparently there was a door-buster sale on new yachts.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ch1nchilla on November 27, 2009, 11:16:01 PM
My best guess is that he was high as fuck.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on November 28, 2009, 12:29:07 AM
I was at a football game when people in the crowd started whispering about Woods being horribly injured in a car crash. Some black dude looked around, I'm guessing making sure no white people were listening, then whispered "damn...they got him" to the black guy sitting in front of us  :lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Vizzys on November 28, 2009, 12:33:49 AM
:lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Fresh Prince on November 28, 2009, 01:50:04 AM
http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0Y86PU3Qy

Don't fuck with Vikings.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on November 28, 2009, 02:35:18 AM
http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0Y86PU3Qy

Don't fuck with Vikings.

Yeah, that sounds about what I thought had happened.  Hope he saved all his endorsement money because now everyone is gonna notice that he's black.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on November 28, 2009, 11:42:04 AM
That sounds a lot more plausible than just randomly hitting a tree and a fire hydrant in a mystery ride at 2:30 AM. Also, his wife had to use golf club to get him out? No way.

That said, the chick that he is rumored to have an affair with came out publicly saying it was not true, and that sources were paid $25,000 each for the bogus story. She hasn't exactly been private about her personal life before, so this would kind of be a total reversal for her.

TIGER'S WIFE ASSAULTED AN INNOCENT MAN.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Van Cruncheon on November 28, 2009, 11:47:17 AM
brotha gets no respect in his own home.

in tiger's defense, the supposed mistress is way hotter than his scary valkyrie wife
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: OptimoPeach on November 28, 2009, 11:47:47 AM
Ha. I thought it was all but implied when the article I read said something like, "It was not explained how Woods' wife managed to get him out of the vehicle." :lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on November 28, 2009, 11:55:17 AM
She said she used a golf club to smash the window open.

... or did she smash the window before he got out of the driveway? :lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: OptimoPeach on November 28, 2009, 12:02:30 PM
I bet she chased him out of the house swinging and he was looking over his shoulder to see if she was still following after he got out of the driveway.

But I meant that the idea of a thin woman pulling a full-grown man out the rear window of an Escalade is laughable
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Brehvolution on December 01, 2009, 03:42:24 PM
(http://i50.tinypic.com/23j5x7s.jpg)
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Ganhyun on December 01, 2009, 03:44:29 PM
(http://www.theimproper.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/rachel31.jpeg)

Is that the woman he supposedly had an affair with?

If so...

:thumbsup  :pimp
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Great Rumbler on December 01, 2009, 05:11:17 PM
[youtube=560,345]7i5FlC1MpkE[/youtube]

This is exactly how it happened.

:rofl
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 01, 2009, 05:13:49 PM
So no charges, no evidence of a domestic dispute. The media threw the bait in the water and now the sharks are biting. Good jon

I'm not defending Woods for cheating on his wife, but it clearly has nothing to do with this situation. He hangs around with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley, of course he cheats. It's a shame this is blowing up though
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 01, 2009, 05:15:13 PM
This thread is amazing. :lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 01, 2009, 05:20:15 PM
So no charges, no evidence of a domestic dispute. The media threw the bait in the water and now the sharks are biting. Good jon

I'm not defending Woods for cheating on his wife, but it clearly has nothing to do with this situation. He hangs around with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley, of course he cheats. It's a shame this is blowing up though

Yeah, it's a shame cheating on your wife can blow up in your face.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ToxicAdam on December 01, 2009, 05:22:57 PM
I've been running around all day shouting at people "YOU'VE RUINED THANKSGIVING!!!"

Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on December 01, 2009, 08:19:47 PM
i don't get why you'd get married at the peak of your popularity.  it is best just to cash in on it and bang all of the groupies your dick can stick in and once you fade away in fame, marry a washed up model.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 01, 2009, 08:23:57 PM
As I saw on Twitter, and already posted on GAF:

"Rookie orientation week for pro athletes should feature a half hour montage of Derek Jeter staying single."
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 01, 2009, 08:30:07 PM
i don't get why you'd get married at the peak of your popularity.  it is best just to cash in on it and bang all of the groupies your dick can stick in and once you fade away in fame, marry a washed up model.

Most men want both variety and stability. Tiger can, if he wants to, try to have it all.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 01, 2009, 08:32:44 PM
i don't get why you'd get married at the peak of your popularity.  it is best just to cash in on it and bang all of the groupies your dick can stick in and once you fade away in fame, marry a washed up model.

Most men want both variety and stability. Tiger can, if he wants to, try to have it all.

He's Tiger Woods, for the love of God I'm sure if there are attractive women out there that don't care if their husband runs around he could snag one.  But no, he goes for the Viking model chick instead.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 01, 2009, 08:35:19 PM
A woman who didn't care whether he cheated on her would probably turn him off, and probably be someone he'd never marry.
Humans are complicated.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 01, 2009, 08:36:36 PM
Which is no doubt why you're building an anatomically correct flannel clad love companion and why I don't leave the house.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 01, 2009, 08:38:43 PM
And why I keeps it real all the time
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 01, 2009, 08:39:19 PM
keeping it real = fapping to IR cheeseburger porn?
 ???
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 01, 2009, 08:40:33 PM
keeping it real = being afraid of mom finding out he got some
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on December 01, 2009, 08:47:14 PM
keeping it real = avoiding society as much as possible, seeking asylum in a back corner of a library instead of talking to girls
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 01, 2009, 08:50:20 PM
keeping it real = copy and pasting old posts and having mandark call you out on it
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 01, 2009, 08:50:56 PM
I'm going to guess my luck with chicks far surpasses that of the four posters above me. I haven't done bad this semester :bow

Still not on the bases...but you can't lose if you don't play
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 01, 2009, 08:52:30 PM
I'm going to guess my luck with chicks far surpasses that of the four posters above me. I haven't done bad this semester :bow

Still not on the bases...but you can't lose if you don't play

WRONG.  Nailed a chick in my econ class a couple weeks ago.  Didn't brag about it cause she's kind of chunky. 
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 01, 2009, 08:53:39 PM
Also wrong here.

What are you going back to school for, Triumph?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on December 01, 2009, 08:55:44 PM
I'm guessing making false assumptions that everyone else is as big of a loser as you are is how early twenty something virgins like Pee Dee sleep at night.  Then you fall into the trap of bitterness towards women (Ark-AMN) and then once into your thirties, insanity (Shawn).
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 01, 2009, 08:56:17 PM
Economics, dog.  Want to indoctrinate the young into burning down Wall St.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 01, 2009, 09:01:55 PM
Econ is pretty cool.

Accounting :piss2
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: drew on December 01, 2009, 09:16:03 PM
Still not on the bases...but you can't lose if you don't play

you havent even kissed a girl yet?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 01, 2009, 09:17:09 PM
Yea but that's not what I think of when I think of the bases
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: drew on December 01, 2009, 09:17:58 PM
so you havent even fingered a girl yet?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 01, 2009, 09:19:09 PM
I wouldn't know which hole to put my finger in
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 01, 2009, 09:19:24 PM
so you havent even fingered a girl yet?

isn't that like between second and third?

and seriously, 1st base is making out, isn't that agreed upon universally?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: border on December 01, 2009, 09:23:46 PM
keeping it real = fapping to IR cheeseburger porn?
What is IR cheeseburger porn?  Iranian?  Infrared?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Beezy on December 01, 2009, 09:25:07 PM
Econ is pretty cool.

Accounting :piss2
Economics is fucking boring.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 01, 2009, 09:25:55 PM
Then accounting is coma-inducing.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 01, 2009, 09:26:14 PM
Econ is pretty cool.

Accounting :piss2

Economics is fucking boring.

It's a veritable carnival compared to the History degree I was pursuing back in the day.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 01, 2009, 09:27:05 PM
I would actually find history immensely interesting but I wouldn't want to become a Mountie afterwards to make a living.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 01, 2009, 09:40:52 PM
Have you licked a vag, PD?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 01, 2009, 09:41:29 PM
I like econ and I love history  :-\

Perhaps the coolest thing about econ was that every class felt like I was learning something I could apply to everyday life, as well as the class discussions....which often started with a smartass kid trying to stomp the prof, then getting annihilated.

I'm taking a psychology class this semester just to break up the monotony of a business class schedule
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 01, 2009, 09:42:38 PM
Econ sucks
History rocks
Psychology rocks
Philosophy rocks
Accounting sucks
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: drew on December 01, 2009, 10:10:28 PM
isn't that like between second and third?

and seriously, 1st base is making out, isn't that agreed upon universally?

1st base: making out

2nd base: handjobs/fingering

3rd base: blowjobs/cunnilingus

home base: sex
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Don Flamenco on December 01, 2009, 10:12:00 PM
Econ sucks
History rocks
Psychology rocks
Philosophy rocks
Accounting sucks


Enjoy ur useless degree!   (like me.)  Really sucks that social sciences, philosophy, and history get you nowhere...they're the best.

edit: wait wat, I thought I was in the log thread
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on December 01, 2009, 10:16:39 PM
The more people that get a certain type of degree, the less value it carries.  Everyone and their dog it seems is taking Political Science, Sociology, English, or Psychology.  That or there isn't much application for some majors like History or Philosophy.

Business majors are pretty saturated too.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 01, 2009, 10:18:58 PM
But luckily business degrees (especially accounting) are rather desired despite saturation. Unlike say, law

malek  :'(
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 01, 2009, 10:21:48 PM
I'll always have my philosophy de--fffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Beezy on December 01, 2009, 10:24:04 PM
Maybe the teachers I had sucked, but micro and macroeconomics both bored me to tears. Both lectures and reading from the textbook. Maybe I'm weird because even when I had teachers who I thought were shitty, I actually like and understand accounting when reading from a book.

I'm taking psychology this semester and I love it. Luckily I didn't take it when I first started college. I might have made it my major. :P
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Don Flamenco on December 01, 2009, 10:25:17 PM
The more people that get a certain type of degree, the less value it carries.  Everyone and their dog it seems is taking Political Science, Sociology, English, or Psychology.  That or there isn't much application for some majors like History or Philosophy.

Business majors are pretty saturated too.


practical applications are a problem too...at least for soc.  Nobody cares that I'm interested in the cultural implications of something random like, say, the rise of ganguro fashion in japan or the popularity of gangsta rap among white suburban youth.  It's fun for me and I could spend the rest of my life doing it; only a select group would really care to read about that.  Unless I made it easy to digest and wrote books about it, but getting to the space where I have the freedom to do that requires lots of money and I'd have to have made a name for myself beforehand.  Important stuff, like journal material, like the effects of a policy or law, requires grad/phD level work and is hard to break into. Hoping my law degree will help me get on track with a grad program like that.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 01, 2009, 10:26:49 PM
Econ sucks
History rocks
Psychology rocks
Philosophy rocks
Accounting sucks


Enjoy ur useless degree!   (like me.)  Really sucks that social sciences, philosophy, and history get you nowhere...they're the best.

edit: wait wat, I thought I was in the log thread

I'm just saying I like those classes, not that I'm following them as degree plans.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 01, 2009, 11:49:48 PM
isn't that like between second and third?

and seriously, 1st base is making out, isn't that agreed upon universally?

1st base: making out

2nd base: handjobs/fingering

3rd base: blowjobs/cunnilingus

home base: sex

glad we sorted this

i also thought about going back for a econ degree
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 01, 2009, 11:54:58 PM
Eh, I  still don't consider kissing a chick to be the beginning of anything - well not in the situations where I've kissed chicks. In my case the situations have been

-friend's drunk gf kissing me (pretty sure I made a thread about that)
-getting kissed out of nowhere by friendgirls


None of those really count towards something big
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 01, 2009, 11:56:17 PM
It's like getting a single with two outs in the ninth inning of a game your team is losing 10-0. It may be meaningless, but you're still on 1st.

Or were they just pecks and not making out?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 01, 2009, 11:58:26 PM
Basically, Phoenix Dark got hit by a pitch and ends up walking to first.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 01, 2009, 11:59:31 PM
Basically, Phoenix Dark got hit by a pitch and ends up walking to first.

Combine this with my analogy.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 01, 2009, 11:59:54 PM
There's a kiss.

And then there's making out.
Title: Game over, man. Game over.
Post by: Mandark on December 02, 2009, 12:00:33 AM
Basically, Phoenix Dark got hit by a pitch and ends up walking to first.

Then, confused and in unfamiliar territory, gets picked off by the pitcher.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 02, 2009, 12:01:02 AM
 :lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 02, 2009, 12:01:41 AM
Basically, Phoenix Dark got hit by a pitch and ends up walking to first.

Then, confused and in unfamiliar territory, gets picked off by the pitcher.

:lol

I just thought of Willie Mays Hayes in Major League.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Bildi on December 02, 2009, 12:11:44 AM
I guess Tiger really is black; he got so excited over Black Friday deals that he hit a tree and a fire hydrant just pulling out.

I once pulled out and hit a tree and a fire hydrant.

Wasn't in a car though.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 02, 2009, 12:12:57 AM
/thatswhatshesaid
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 02, 2009, 12:14:35 AM
/thatswhatthetrannysaid?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 02, 2009, 08:11:44 AM
I guess Tiger really is black; he got so excited over Black Friday deals that he hit a tree and a fire hydrant just pulling out.

I once pulled out and hit a tree and a fire hydrant.

Wasn't in a car though.

One time I pulled out and hit your mom! :drake


spoiler (click to show/hide)
It was in a car. Sorry about that, I hope she was okay.
[close]
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Beezy on December 02, 2009, 10:24:53 AM
http://web.tigerwoods.com/news/article/200912027740572/news/

Quote
I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.

Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect.

But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don't share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one's own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions.

Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it's difficult.

I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.

Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 02, 2009, 10:31:17 AM
Tiger done got him some!  Get ready to lose all of yer endorsements. 

Actually, this could be pretty awesome.  It might piss him off enough to go nuclear and just start winning all the time.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 02, 2009, 11:16:10 AM
Problem is that he only did this after it was dragged out for like a week and made a joke. Had he issued an apology the next day, we wouldn't be talking about this. His PR person should be fired.

This shit is on the front page of CNN. Had he just came out initially, it'd be on TMZ, ESPN and such, but he'd be somewhat unscathed by the mainstream media. He damaged his own reputation.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Great Rumbler on December 02, 2009, 11:19:27 AM
Problem is that he only did this after it was dragged out for like a week and made a joke. Had he issued an apology the next day, we wouldn't be talking about this. His PR person should be fired.

Yeah, it also didn't help that as the rumors were swirling he kept avoiding the police, which only made him look even WORSE. If he'd just talked to the police on the first day, issued an apology, and then gone to his golf tournament, this would quickly be forgotten.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 02, 2009, 11:20:57 AM
Problem is that he only did this after it was dragged out for like a week and made a joke. Had he issued an apology the next day, we wouldn't be talking about this. His PR person should be fired.

This shit is on the front page of CNN. Had he just came out initially, it'd be on TMZ, ESPN and such, but he'd be somewhat unscathed by the mainstream media. He damaged his own reputation.

Which is why he's gonna lose some sponsors over this.  Oh well, I'm pretty sure he's not gonna need to apply for food stamps anytime soon.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 02, 2009, 11:21:10 AM
Yeah, videotape of the police being turned away three separate times was lol-worthy. I understand the masses are not necessarily a free thinking, well informed people, but they're not complete idiots.*

spoiler (click to show/hide)
* Except Kentucky.
[close]
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 02, 2009, 11:21:27 AM
Had he issued an apology the next day, we wouldn't be talking about this.

How could he have issued an apology when he was in serious condition. He nearly died! Did you not read the thread?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 02, 2009, 11:29:03 AM
He should have just died, then we would celebrate him as a legend instead of a philanderer.

GREATEST ATHLETE EVER'S LIFE CUT SHORT IN HIS PRIME
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 02, 2009, 11:33:55 AM
Athlete? I thought he was a golfer?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 02, 2009, 12:22:51 PM
espn on 24/7 Tiger Woods mode.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 02, 2009, 12:25:43 PM
espn on 24/7 Tiger Woods mode.

Brett Farve must be jealous. Maybe he'll hit Tim Tebow with a car
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 02, 2009, 12:26:19 PM
Brett's probably not sweating this, PD.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 02, 2009, 12:57:52 PM
Brett's probably not sweating this, PD.

He probably hasn't decided how he feels yet.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 02, 2009, 12:59:32 PM
wait he has
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 02, 2009, 12:59:43 PM
false alarm
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Mr. Gundam on December 02, 2009, 01:19:22 PM
There's nothing wrong with getting an undergraduate degree in Psychology. You just have to continue and obtain either a Master's degree or Ph. D. to actually get a job. :lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Kestastrophe on December 02, 2009, 01:27:25 PM
Economics is awesome, and it makes you employable (assuming your program requires substantial math as well)
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Mr. Gundam on December 02, 2009, 01:37:34 PM
My wife has a Bachelor's in Economics (and now an MBA) and got a great job out of college back in 2003.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Kestastrophe on December 02, 2009, 01:59:40 PM
I went unemployed for over a year with a Master's in Accounting. I am a semester away from a Master's in Economics and I already have a job lined up. Some anecdotal evidence: The department that I am going to be working in (business analytics) doesn't even interview business college students anymore because they don't know anything  :-X (that is literally what the interviewer told me).

basically: :rock economics
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Beezy on December 02, 2009, 02:23:09 PM
I went unemployed for over a year with a Master's in Accounting.
I don't see how that's possible. Where do you live?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Ganhyun on December 02, 2009, 03:01:09 PM
false alarm


Yet those guys drive him nuts.

Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ManaByte on December 02, 2009, 03:09:23 PM
[youtube=560,345]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8mz2J4oee8[/youtube]
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 02, 2009, 03:16:39 PM
I went unemployed for over a year with a Master's in Accounting.
I don't see how that's possible. Where do you live?

the michigan equivalent of the siberia
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on December 02, 2009, 05:26:29 PM
Tiger done fucked up.

He was always the clean cut legend that was likable to middle aged white people.  Now he's just another immoral black thug-athlete to them.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Diunx on December 02, 2009, 05:35:30 PM
If I had all his money I wouldn't give a shit how people felt about me.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on December 02, 2009, 05:40:35 PM
If I had all his money I wouldn't give a shit how people felt about me.

Endorsement deals, dude.  Tiger might not give a shit what some fat fuck who watches ESPN thinks but Nike might and Tiger does give a shit what Nike thinks of him.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 02, 2009, 05:46:45 PM
What he did wasn't in the same ballpark, Tiger will recover. Hell, the media will probably have another story to chase soon, and who knows Favre might be in the superbowl  :teehee
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 02, 2009, 05:53:13 PM
People will forget this as of next week.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 02, 2009, 05:54:32 PM
http://www.sphere.com/2009/12/02/perez-hilton-offers-tiger-woods-advice/

Yea, I'm gonna say this has officially peaked
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 02, 2009, 05:58:34 PM
People will forget this as of next week.

I wish I could forget it already.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: brawndolicious on December 02, 2009, 06:18:35 PM
I'm not even sure what the story is but at least this was a nice college advice thread.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Diunx on December 02, 2009, 06:49:50 PM
If I had all his money I wouldn't give a shit how people felt about me.

Endorsement deals, dude.  Tiger might not give a shit what some fat fuck who watches ESPN thinks but Nike might and Tiger does give a shit what Nike thinks of him.

But he already have enough money to live like a king for the rest of his life, I would just retired and become an asshole.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ferrarimanf355 on December 02, 2009, 11:33:27 PM
[youtube=560,345]7i5FlC1MpkE[/youtube]

This is exactly how it happened.
Also...
http://kotaku.com/5417440/conan-obrien-leaks-tiger-woods-pga-update (http://kotaku.com/5417440/conan-obrien-leaks-tiger-woods-pga-update)
It got a giggle out of me.  :-*
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Dickie Dee on December 03, 2009, 11:35:24 AM
Ohhhh, Tiger signed a pre-nup  :'(

Quote
…the couple has a prenuptial agreement worth $300 million, which would make this the most expensive celebrity divorce in history.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 03, 2009, 12:26:17 PM
Except she doesn't get much of a payout until she's vested so many years into the marriage. She's renegotiating it. With what leverage, I don't know.
Title: First pictures surface...
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 03, 2009, 12:35:17 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v180/Triumph/tigerandelin.jpg)
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: brawndolicious on December 03, 2009, 12:37:14 PM
Isn't there a cheating clause?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 03, 2009, 12:42:31 PM
Some of the comments on the sites reporting this are hilarious:

Quote
Tiger is ****. He is exposing his wife to AIDS, herpes, warts, etc. Their 9 month old son could get AIDS from breastfeeding. Tiger is ******** cheap ****** ******. He also is a cheap ****. He never tips waiters in restaurants. He stiffed all the people that were going to see him at his tournement. He curses and has sh1tfits when his golf game doesn't go his way. He is a lying creep with no character. He is a phoney he doesn't want publicity, yet he publishes "happy family portraits". What a loser!

:lol

Also, I found out that my mother was on air with The Sports Reporters (http://www.espn980.com/shows/sportsreporters/) yesterday, trash talking Tiger Woods. :-\
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 03, 2009, 01:05:04 PM
lol what a circus. At this point I'm half expecting CNN to interview that Louisiana judge who refused to marry interracial couples about this
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 03, 2009, 01:07:03 PM
Eh, it's his own damn fault. Not only did he cheat on his wife, but he was pretty sloppy about it. Then, as the curtain fell and Oz began to be revealed for what he is, he kept stonewalling in hopes that the press would treat him with kid gloves per usual.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ManaByte on December 03, 2009, 01:10:37 PM
Apparently the National Enquirer caught him banging some chick in a SUV about two years ago and had pictures and videos to prove it, but they buried the story in exchange for an exclusive from Tiger for one of their other mainstream magazines.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 03, 2009, 01:11:44 PM
THE SKY IS FALLING
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 03, 2009, 01:13:39 PM
Yea I don't feel sorry for him, I'm just smh'ing at the media circus. I'd imagine this would still be a big story if Tiger had fessed up immediately, but at least he'd look (a bit) better, and maybe it would die faster.

I just heard he called one of the chicks last night and tried to pay her off...kinda fucking late for that Tiger. His crisis management skills leave much to be desired
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 03, 2009, 01:17:41 PM
Yeah, she was scheduled to have a press conference today and then SUDDENLY cancelled it.

TMZ has pictures of Tiger at Tao in Las Vegas with some chick that is not his wife, and other folks are coming out of the woodwork. The whole damn house of cards is falling, and Tiger is doing his best to look incompetent.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 03, 2009, 01:18:29 PM
Well, at least none of the chicks so far are ugly. 
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 03, 2009, 01:26:29 PM
I really haven't been impressed. Almost all of them look like they've had a decent amount of cosmetic surgery, and have that fake plastic sheen of a club girl passed around like inflatable sex doll.

My problem is, if you're Tiger Woods, why settle for "club hot", which is usually kind of fake and gross, and go for "holy shit, a body for the ages!"

... We're talking like Jolie/Theron/Hathaway hot.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 03, 2009, 05:21:17 PM
I agree with Willco.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: twerd on December 03, 2009, 06:19:05 PM
what would dave chapelle have to say about all of this hmm
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 03, 2009, 06:35:11 PM
Tiger smh
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 03, 2009, 06:39:54 PM
what would dave chapelle have to say about all of this hmm

The Asians were willing to trade Wu Tang Clan for Tiger because ever since ODB's death they felt they were kinda lacking. But after this stunt, they've decided to stick with Wu Tang and they're not budging. It seems Tiger may be damned to stay black the rest of his days.

My question is how Tiger fucked up so bad. I mean, shit, dude hangs out with Barkley and Jordan. They didn't give the dude tips? ???
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 03, 2009, 06:54:15 PM
My question is how Tiger fucked up so bad. I mean, shit, dude hangs out with Barkley and Jordan. They didn't give the dude tips? ???

his problem is that they have been giving him advice.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 03, 2009, 06:58:29 PM
;)
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 03, 2009, 06:58:36 PM
My question is how Tiger fucked up so bad. I mean, shit, dude hangs out with Barkley and Jordan. They didn't give the dude tips? ???

his problem is that they have been giving him advice.

Let's hope they haven't been giving him gambling tips!
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 03, 2009, 06:59:36 PM
He gets his gambling tips from Antoine walker.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 03, 2009, 07:01:12 PM
But if Charles and Michael hang out with Tiger, how can Charles be so damn bad at golf? ???
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Beezy on December 03, 2009, 09:01:22 PM
Dunno if it's just me, but I don't care about this whole situation at all. It's fucked up that he's cheating when he has two young kids with his wife though, but besides that who cares.  He either has or is worth like a billion. He'll be fine. Chris Brown allegedly cheated and tried to rearrange Rihanna's face, but that motherfucker's career hasn't died.

Anyway, the media really is a fucking joke for wasting so much time on this. I can't believe that I once thought CNN was a good news network. They're just as bad as everyone else.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 08, 2009, 08:45:12 AM
Looks like Tiger killed some bitch at his house now.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Robo on December 08, 2009, 08:55:50 AM
I almost feel bad for the guy at this point. 

*Please note that at the time of this posting, Tiger has not been confirmed to have killed anyone or beaten anyone silly.*
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Brehvolution on December 08, 2009, 09:32:08 AM
He should get a crown, pimp coat, cane, and aquarium shoes and strut around saying hater gonna hate.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ch1nchilla on December 08, 2009, 10:24:32 AM
I really haven't been impressed. Almost all of them look like they've had a decent amount of cosmetic surgery, and have that fake plastic sheen of a club girl passed around like inflatable sex doll.

My problem is, if you're Tiger Woods, why settle for "club hot", which is usually kind of fake and gross, and go for "holy shit, a body for the ages!"

... We're talking like Jolie/Theron/Hathaway hot.

Because Tiger Woods is a robot, have you not seen his interviews and shit?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 08, 2009, 11:56:13 AM
Jesus, Tiger Woods is like a self-perpetuating gossip rag now.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 08, 2009, 02:20:12 PM
This is just getting obscene now. :lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ManaByte on December 08, 2009, 03:41:47 PM
[youtube=560,345]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSdvkcNo3EM[/youtube]
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Tieno on December 08, 2009, 04:13:27 PM
Does Tiger only sleep with white women?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 08, 2009, 04:49:42 PM
In like a week, Tiger Woods has gone from "makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcom X" to "makes Wilt Chamberlain look like Phoenix Dark".
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 08, 2009, 04:57:29 PM
:rofl :rofl
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 08, 2009, 05:16:34 PM
In like a week, Tiger Woods has gone from "makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcom X" to "makes Wilt Chamberlain look like Phoenix Dark".

:lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: AdmiralViscen on December 08, 2009, 10:12:32 PM
lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ManaByte on December 09, 2009, 02:12:00 AM
Mistress #11 (another porn star):
(http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/124697/JOSLYN-JAMES-TIGER-WOODS.jpg)
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Tieno on December 09, 2009, 02:18:17 AM
Can someone post pics of all the women he slept with?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: BlackMage on December 09, 2009, 02:43:02 AM
or videos
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: DJ_Tet on December 09, 2009, 04:20:50 AM
Mistress #11 (another porn star):
(http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/124697/JOSLYN-JAMES-TIGER-WOODS.jpg)


moar
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: TEEEPO on December 09, 2009, 04:39:36 AM
living the life.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: T-Short on December 09, 2009, 04:51:55 AM
I wonder if he made 'em scream GO IN THE HOLE
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Robo on December 09, 2009, 01:00:39 PM
Can someone post pics of all the women he slept with?

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/galleries/pictures_rachel_uchitel_alleged_tiger_woods_mistress_is_at_the_center_/pictures_rachel_uchitel_alleged_tiger_woods_mistress_is_at_the_center_.html

Here. Sexy teacher porn star bitch :drool

Buncha bimbos and Susie Greene.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Tieno on December 09, 2009, 03:03:16 PM
Where your role model at now PD? :smug
there are no black role models :smug
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ManaByte on December 09, 2009, 03:08:26 PM
Where your role model at now PD? :smug
there are no black role models :smug

Oh shit I wonder what Bill Cosby would say about Tiger.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ManaByte on December 09, 2009, 05:35:37 PM
Up to 12 now.

I think before this is all over he will have played a full 18 holes.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 09, 2009, 05:52:04 PM
Up to 12 now.

I think before this is all over he will have played a full 18 holes.
I think he's already birdied 36 holes.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 11, 2009, 07:38:21 PM
Looks like Tiger is finished. (http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/news;_ylt=AmQSrkW2HGr8gAU80gOsl4Y5nYcB?slug=ap-tigerwoods&prov=ap&type=lgns)
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Great Rumbler on December 11, 2009, 07:42:19 PM
Looks like Tiger is finished. (http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/news;_ylt=AmQSrkW2HGr8gAU80gOsl4Y5nYcB?slug=ap-tigerwoods&prov=ap&type=lgns)

At this point the only thing that's going to salvage his reputation is winning some major golf tournaments.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 11, 2009, 07:43:06 PM
(http://lightwater.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/jack-nicklaus-1986.jpg)
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 11, 2009, 07:43:43 PM
Looks like Tiger is finished. (http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/news;_ylt=AmQSrkW2HGr8gAU80gOsl4Y5nYcB?slug=ap-tigerwoods&prov=ap&type=lgns)

At this point the only thing that's going to salvage his reputation is winning some major golf tournaments.

You, my friend, are overlooking the power of going on Oprah during her final season.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: fistfulofmetal on December 11, 2009, 07:43:50 PM
http://www.wwtdd.com/2009/12/you-have-to-be-god-damn-kidding-me/

Damn him.

dude must have been plastered because this bitch is fugly
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Great Rumbler on December 11, 2009, 07:47:28 PM
Looks like Tiger is finished. (http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/news;_ylt=AmQSrkW2HGr8gAU80gOsl4Y5nYcB?slug=ap-tigerwoods&prov=ap&type=lgns)

At this point the only thing that's going to salvage his reputation is winning some major golf tournaments.

You, my friend, are overlooking the power of going on Oprah during her final season.

Ooh, I forgot all about that.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 11, 2009, 08:00:32 PM
Jack's records are safe.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 11, 2009, 08:06:14 PM
Jack's records are safe.

Dude, Tiger's not even 35 yet. 
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: The Fake Shemp on December 11, 2009, 08:08:10 PM
He won't be playing for awhile, and I highly doubt he'll be in tip-top shape upon his return.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Akala on December 11, 2009, 08:10:24 PM
Tiger needs to fire whatever people he has working the media for him. the whole thing was managed terribly. it would have been news regardless, but it should be way over by now.

it doesn't help that he's quitting over it either. he's getting MJ quality advice from someone.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 11, 2009, 08:10:40 PM
He won't be playing for awhile, and I highly doubt he'll be in tip-top shape upon his return.

He missed almost a year due to injuries and was still the best player on the tour.  He misses a year tops, does Oprah, shows up to the 2011 Masters and wins.  Book it.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 11, 2009, 08:13:47 PM
Even though I posted that pic of Jack, I do think Tiger manages to win at least five more majors before he's done -- it's just not a foregone conclusion anymore.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 11, 2009, 10:43:04 PM
He won't be playing for awhile, and I highly doubt he'll be in tip-top shape upon his return.

He missed almost a year due to injuries and was still the best player on the tour.  He misses a year tops, does Oprah, shows up to the 2011 Masters and wins.  Book it.

I think he's only into white women.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Phoenix Dark on December 11, 2009, 10:48:06 PM
Where your role model at now PD? :smug
there are no black role models :smug

Oh shit I wonder what Bill Cosby would say about Tiger.

I'd love to hear Bill Cosby preaching about fidelity  :lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Diunx on December 11, 2009, 10:58:35 PM
This man is my new idol.

:bow using your celebrity status to get laid :bow2
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: E-DuB on December 11, 2009, 11:17:01 PM
He won't be playing for awhile, and I highly doubt he'll be in tip-top shape upon his return.

He missed almost a year due to injuries and was still the best player on the tour.  He misses a year tops, does Oprah, shows up to the 2011 Masters and wins.  Book it.

I'd put money on that happening
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Beezy on December 12, 2009, 01:38:24 AM
Looks like Tiger is finished. (http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/news;_ylt=AmQSrkW2HGr8gAU80gOsl4Y5nYcB?slug=ap-tigerwoods&prov=ap&type=lgns)
Wow, what a pussy.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on December 12, 2009, 09:30:15 AM
People are criticizing his media publicists but he (maybe with their help) kept a dozen mistresses under wraps for years.  Given how high profile he is in this tabloid culture, that is pretty amazing.

He won't be playing for awhile, and I highly doubt he'll be in tip-top shape upon his return.

He missed almost a year due to injuries and was still the best player on the tour.  He misses a year tops, does Oprah, shows up to the 2011 Masters and wins.  Book it.

Yep.  If he pulls it off, his numerous infidelities will be forgotten or at least eclipsed by being a great golfer.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on December 12, 2009, 10:19:43 AM
Quote
Given how high profile he is in this tabloid culture, that is pretty amazing.

i dunno how i feel about this whole thing - it just sounds highly improbable right now.

I mean, 13 mistresses including porn stars and not a single shithole tabloid caught it?

smells like bullshit.

It'll probably be a while until we find out exactly what happened -- in the meantime everyone is just trying to milk this thing for all it is worth.  Now any chick that claims Tiger banged her will be taken seriously.

I think he is a POS for cheating on his wife but the whole event seems odd.  Supposedly a tabloid squashed the story in favor of an interview with him in a golf magazine.  Even then, someone would have leaked something because tabloids are all about taking celebrities and multimillionaires down a few notches.  He must have an amazing PR group hired.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: DJ_Tet on December 12, 2009, 02:24:46 PM
it seems a few of these stories are going through "London's News of The World" - translation: BULLSHIT.

13 affiars, press knew nothing, or were "bullied" into not reporting?

again, smells like bullshit


You think the press....reports?   :lol


Anyway it's already basically confirmed that Tiger bought off the National Enquirer by doing a cover story for Golf Illustrated or something (same parent company.)
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: DJ_Tet on December 12, 2009, 08:34:53 PM
Tiger opened that can of worms all by himself.  If the rumors were true that he paid the first girl $1 mil hush money it only stands to reason that every little barskank who Tiger ever smiled at would come out of the woodwork.

Tiger could not have handled all this worse.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: ManaByte on December 12, 2009, 10:32:47 PM
Fuzzy Zoeller is laughing right now.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 13, 2009, 02:13:27 AM
:lol Tiger
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Tieno on December 13, 2009, 03:28:17 AM
Where your role model at now PD? :smug
there are no black role models :smug

Oh Tieno, thats racist :smug
Reality is racist :smug
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Himu on December 13, 2009, 03:38:38 AM
He's right. It's not that are "no" black role models, it's just that there are very few a number that are currently living. Black people live in the past: oh, MLK was a great man, that's proof black people can aspire to great things, let's go snort a line of coke.

Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: bork on December 13, 2009, 03:56:11 AM
I haven't followed the Tiger Woods downfall too closely.  How did it go from a car accident to infidelity?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: bud on December 13, 2009, 06:41:00 PM
afaik, this woman wasn't posted in this thread:

 :nsfw woman in bikini
spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/bloodylamer/bastardly-photos/0505/album40/kirsty-gallacher-10110602.jpg)
[close]

oh my god
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Robo on December 13, 2009, 08:46:32 PM
I haven't followed the Tiger Woods downfall too closely.  How did it go from a car accident to infidelity?

It was always infidelity.  The accident was a result of his wife going ballistic on him after finding out.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Flannel Boy on December 13, 2009, 08:54:37 PM
afaik, this woman wasn't posted in this thread:

 :nsfw woman in bikini
spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/bloodylamer/bastardly-photos/0505/album40/kirsty-gallacher-10110602.jpg)
[close]

oh my god

lol @ wiki

Quote
Personal life

Gallacher and her fiance Paul Sampson celebrated the birth of their first child, Oscar in 2006.[4] They recently announced their engagement and will get married sometime in 2010. The couple are presently expecting their second child.

In December 2009 it was suggested Kirsty Gallacher had a sexual relationship with Tiger Woods. Also in 2009 an article said she was "tamed by Tiger" this was an alarming article as people raised question as to if Miss Gallacher has other animal based relationships which in the United Kingdom is illegal. [5]

Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: OptimoPeach on December 13, 2009, 09:11:55 PM
afaik, this woman wasn't posted in this thread:

 :nsfw woman in bikini
spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/bloodylamer/bastardly-photos/0505/album40/kirsty-gallacher-10110602.jpg)
[close]

oh my god
:drool Tiger redeemed
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: archie4208 on December 21, 2009, 03:00:10 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kb59FChzRM

Iron Sheik laying the smackdown. :bow2
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Great Rumbler on December 21, 2009, 03:06:13 PM
:bow Iron Sheik :bow2
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Powerslave on December 21, 2009, 03:23:07 PM
So what's the big deal? Tiger cheated on his wife? That's it? What the fuck is going on with people on the net contributing to over 9000 posts threads about this?
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: bork on December 21, 2009, 03:46:04 PM
IRON SHIEK MAKE TIGER WOODA BEND OVER FUCK HIM ASS MAKE HIM HUMBLE
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Brehvolution on December 21, 2009, 03:47:51 PM
Iron sheik?!  :lol :lol :lol
Dud wsa old in the 80's.  :lol :lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Stoney Mason on December 21, 2009, 03:49:42 PM
So what's the big deal? Tiger cheated on his wife? That's it? What the fuck is going on with people on the net contributing to over 9000 posts threads about this?

No lives
Rubberneckers
Dumb people
Moralists.


Take your pick.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Powerslave on December 21, 2009, 03:50:47 PM
I go all-in.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Great Rumbler on December 21, 2009, 03:54:53 PM
So what's the big deal? Tiger cheated on his wife? That's it? What the fuck is going on with people on the net contributing to over 9000 posts threads about this?

Just another way for whitey to keep the black man down.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Kidding, but it's probably partially true.
[close]
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: bork on December 21, 2009, 04:45:07 PM
I don't follow or give a shit about golf, but it always seemed to me like Tiger Woods was as clean-cut as they come.  That image has been completely shattered.  This is why so many people have been interested in the story.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Stoney Mason on December 21, 2009, 05:42:18 PM
I don't follow or give a shit about golf, but it always seemed to me like Tiger Woods was as clean-cut as they come.  That image has been completely shattered.  This is why so many people have been interested in the story.

This is of course partially why the story is big.

The logical brain of course has to ask why people would think they know anything about a person's personal life whom they don't actually know or why it matters.

I know the answer of course. Just saying.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 21, 2009, 06:21:03 PM
Tiger Woods is the biggest star in the most clean cut, middle of the road, whitest sport there is and he happens to be black.  Of course it's going to make big news.

...also his taste in women is made up of trashy looking white womens and nothing else apparently.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Stoney Mason on December 21, 2009, 06:26:42 PM
Tiger Woods is the biggest star in the most clean cut, middle of the road, whitest sport there is and he happens to be black.  Of course it's going to make big news.

The idea that he is considered "black" as a sole descriptor is humorous and shows pretty much where America is at. Especially when he doesn't especially self identify as such.

Quote
Woods was born in Cypress, California, to Earl (1932-2006) and Kultida (Tida) Woods (born 1944). He is the only child of their marriage but has two half-brothers, Earl Jr. (born 1955) and Kevin (born 1957), and one half-sister, Royce (born 1958) from the 18-year marriage of Earl Woods and his first wife, Barbara Woods Gray. Earl, a retired United States Army lieutenant colonel and Vietnam War veteran, was of mixed African American, Chinese and Native American ancestry. Kultida (née Punsawad), originally from Thailand, is of mixed Thai, Chinese, and Dutch ancestry. This makes Woods himself half Asian (one-quarter Chinese and one-quarter Thai), one-quarter African American, one-eighth Native American, and one-eighth Dutch.[16] He refers to his ethnic make-up as “Cablinasian” (a syllabic abbreviation he coined from Caucasian, Black, (American) Indian, and Asian).[17]
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: OptimoPeach on December 21, 2009, 07:01:57 PM
Perception is reality

/Aceveda
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Cormacaroni on December 21, 2009, 07:07:00 PM
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Santa Clause stops at 3 hos
[close]
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Powerslave on December 21, 2009, 10:05:51 PM
I don't follow or give a shit about golf, but it always seemed to me like Tiger Woods was as clean-cut as they come.  That image has been completely shattered.  This is why so many people have been interested in the story.

Tiger Woods is the biggest star in the most clean cut, middle of the road, whitest sport there is and he happens to be black.  Of course it's going to make big news.

I still don't give a fuck.
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Barry Egan on January 04, 2010, 06:33:57 PM
Tiger Woods is the biggest star in the most clean cut, middle of the road, whitest sport there is and he happens to be black.  Of course it's going to make big news.

(http://www.nypost.com/r/nypost/2010/01/04/news/photos_stories/Tiger%20Woods131455--415x525.jpg)

 :lol
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Great Rumbler on January 04, 2010, 06:35:26 PM
Tiger Woods is a criminal and a rapist. Don't let him near your children!
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: CajoleJuice on January 04, 2010, 06:35:34 PM
wow
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Robo on January 04, 2010, 06:36:58 PM
 :drool
Title: Re: Looks like Tiger woods is dead
Post by: Beezy on January 04, 2010, 07:48:09 PM
It looks like someone started drawing flower petals around his left nipple. :lol