THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: ManaByte on January 07, 2010, 06:44:55 PM

Title: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: ManaByte on January 07, 2010, 06:44:55 PM
http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/stern_sidekick_in_suicide_try_5m9Hwhn1OvpONlzbsiW3oJ

Quote
Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. "We all have our demons," Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange's past battles with addiction. "Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is."
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 07, 2010, 06:46:15 PM
Sounds like he has more balls than you
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: drew on January 07, 2010, 06:46:37 PM
ice cold
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 07, 2010, 06:47:35 PM
Sounds like he has more balls than you


Ouch
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Barry Egan on January 07, 2010, 06:49:34 PM
 :lol
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Human Snorenado on January 07, 2010, 06:50:09 PM
holy fucking shit pee dee with the ether
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Ichirou on January 07, 2010, 06:50:41 PM
Did Manabyte consider suicide when he saw how bad The Princess and the Frog was?
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: CajoleJuice on January 07, 2010, 06:51:52 PM
first entry in the 2010 annihilation awards
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: brawndolicious on January 07, 2010, 06:52:15 PM
I'm probably not the only one who thinks that stabbing YOURSELF 9 times is more impressive than getting shot 9 times.  It's another case of the white man stealing from the blacks and doing it better.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Barry Egan on January 07, 2010, 06:54:23 PM
first entry in the 2010 annihilation awards

speaking of annihilation, I just watched Artie Lange's appearance on the Joe Buck show  .  Wow.  Then I saw the 10 minute "internet broadcast" that immediately followed.  WOW.  Joe Buck nearly burst in to tears.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: CajoleJuice on January 07, 2010, 06:55:20 PM
first entry in the 2010 annihilation awards

speaking of annihilation, I just watched Artie Lang's appearance on the Joe Buck show  .  Wow.  Then I saw the 10 minute "internet broadcast" that immediately followed.  WOW.  Joe Buck nearly burst in to tears.

yes, that shit was fucking amazing
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Human Snorenado on January 07, 2010, 06:58:55 PM
I'm probably not the only one who thinks that stabbing YOURSELF 9 times is more impressive than getting shot 9 times.  It's another case of the white man stealing from the blacks and doing it better.

Imagine shooting yourself nine times!
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Fresh Prince on January 07, 2010, 07:00:03 PM
Sounds like he has more balls than you
smh
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Crushed on January 07, 2010, 07:01:44 PM
Sounds like he has more balls than you
(http://i48.tinypic.com/v2vdxy.gif)
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: brawndolicious on January 07, 2010, 07:08:08 PM
I'm probably not the only one who thinks that stabbing YOURSELF 9 times is more impressive than getting shot 9 times.  It's another case of the white man stealing from the blacks and doing it better.
Imagine shooting yourself nine times!
all the fat probably saved this man's life because the knife wouldn't be able to reach his vital organs but most people wouldn't have the balls to keep stabbing themselves after the first couple nicks.  He gets an A for effort.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Human Snorenado on January 07, 2010, 07:11:25 PM
You don't have to hit organs to kill yourself, hell all you gotta do is nick a major artery or vein and you'll bleed out pretty quick.  Since Artie is a known junkie you gotta think he'd know which veins to go after, so this is almost surely one of those cry for help suicide attempts.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Robo on January 07, 2010, 07:15:28 PM
That is demi caliber annihilation.  Well done.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Ichirou on January 07, 2010, 07:18:37 PM
He only really stabbed himself 3 times, the other 6 were "hesitation wounds."  What a pussy.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on January 07, 2010, 07:34:27 PM
/golfclap PD
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 07, 2010, 07:36:10 PM
Ęthered.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: demi on January 07, 2010, 07:44:08 PM
Artie didnt actually die and he only stabbed himself 3 times. I dont consider this annihilation, sorry.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Ichirou on January 07, 2010, 07:50:31 PM
Annihilation revoked.  Manabyte is safe.


For now.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Powerslave on January 07, 2010, 08:33:43 PM
Sounds like he has more balls than you

Wow dude that seriously isn't funny. Don't be so fucking pathetic to make a joke like that to get a few quick laughs.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: AdmiralViscen on January 07, 2010, 10:36:27 PM
Well, I lol'd
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Diunx on January 07, 2010, 10:45:08 PM
:rofl
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Fresh Prince on January 07, 2010, 10:47:51 PM

Wow dude that seriously isn't funny. Don't be so fucking pathetic to make a joke like that to get a few quick laughs.
The weak picking on the weaker.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: demi on January 07, 2010, 10:50:45 PM
Annihilation revoked.  Manabyte is safe.


For now.

Stabbing yourself is pretty manly though.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Raban on January 08, 2010, 12:11:25 AM
Fucking COLD.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 08, 2010, 12:17:40 AM
 :tbslol
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: BlueTsunami on January 08, 2010, 12:24:06 AM
Man, PD totally had to have had the :smug face when he posted that. There's no other face that could accompany such a post.
Title: Re: Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times
Post by: Dickie Dee on January 08, 2010, 06:30:52 AM
oh shit :lol