THE BORE

General => Video Game Bored => Topic started by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 02:22:45 PM

Title: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 02:22:45 PM

If you haven't picked up Assault Heroes on XBLA DO SO NOW IT AM FUCK AWESOME

Jackal meets Commando in top-down THREE-DEE push scrolling OMG mayhem rail guns nukes giant robot monsters FUCK FUCK

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 02:25:21 PM

BUY THIS feggits IF YOU LOVE LATE 80s EARLY 90s FUCKIN SHIT UP WITH CRAZY WEAPONS

:punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch
:punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch
:punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch
:punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch
:punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch
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:punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch :punch

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 02:26:28 PM

IT MIGHT EVEN BE BETTER THAN TWILIGHT PRINCESS :punch

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 02:26:41 PM

HOLY FUCK :punch

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 02:26:52 PM

BUY THIS PAPANGUS :punch

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 02:30:17 PM

I NEED A WAVEBIRD

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 02:30:26 PM

ALL OUT OF WHISKEY SOUR MIX

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 02:30:36 PM

P A P A N G U S

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 02:30:47 PM

WHALES AND DOLPHINS

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: brawndolicious on December 17, 2006, 02:40:01 PM

i didn't like the demo that much.

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: CajoleJuice on December 17, 2006, 02:41:37 PM

Damn it, why'd you respond? I wanted to see how long Drinky would keep going talking to himself.

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: brawndolicious on December 17, 2006, 02:49:27 PM

sorry...

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 03:08:27 PM

Quote from: am nintenho on December 17, 2006, 02:40:01 PM

i didn't like the demo that much.

you're a cretin and i hope you die of asphyxiation

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: demi on December 17, 2006, 04:27:05 PM

Gazunta loves it too... I probably should buy it, yeah?

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: brawndolicious on December 17, 2006, 06:36:42 PM

Quote from: Drinky Crow on December 17, 2006, 03:08:27 PM

you're a cretin and i hope you die of asphyxiation

It was too boring!

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Van Cruncheon on December 17, 2006, 06:48:18 PM

i'm going to corncob that mushroom kingdom ass of yours like it's the fuckin' autumn harvest

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: brawndolicious on December 17, 2006, 06:57:20 PM

You know I don't care

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: MrAngryFace on December 17, 2006, 08:04:01 PM

Anyone here get AH Co-Op going over live? Just hangs for me at 'Waiting...'

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Mondain on December 17, 2006, 10:51:40 PM

Damn YES this is cool.

But the gay generic techno music is disappointing. This longs for war themes like there were in Jackal.

And the cutscenes are some of the gayest ever. But whatever, it's amazing to see a revamped 2D classic done so right in 3D. Everyone go download the demo now.

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: MrAngryFace on December 17, 2006, 10:57:43 PM

Fuck, just buy it. Its cheap compared to the shit that is Small Arms that I bought in a Drunken Rage.

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: TVC15 on December 18, 2006, 01:37:18 AM

Quote from: Mondain on December 17, 2006, 10:51:40 PM

Damn YES this is cool.

But the gay generic techno music is disappointing. This longs for war themes like there were in Jackal.

And the cutscenes are some of the gayest ever. But whatever, it's amazing to see a revamped 2D classic done so right in 3D. Everyone go download the demo now.

I agree with both of your points, but luckily they don't really detract from the game.  This kind of game is made for your favorite rock custom soundtrack.

This is probably my favorite ORIGINAL XBLA game since Geometry Wars.  And it came out of nowhere.  I'd heard about Small Arms and Roboblitz before, but I had never heard AH mentioned until a week before release.  What an awesome surprise. 

How many levels are in the game?

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Mondain on December 18, 2006, 02:20:05 AM

meh, custom soundtracks are irrelevant... I never use them

they detract from the original ambiance that the game's director intended and from the one that 99% of gamers trying out the game will perceive

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: TVC15 on December 18, 2006, 02:35:31 AM

Quote from: Mondain on December 18, 2006, 02:20:05 AM

meh, custom soundtracks are irrelevant... I never use them

they detract from the original ambiance that the game's director intended and from the one that 99% of gamers trying out the game will perceive

Yeah, but when I can replace the third rate soundtrack from an otherwise great game, custom soundtracks zoom into relevancy for me.  I typically never use them, but there are games I make exceptions for.  And AH is one of them.  Racing games in general are another.

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: MrAngryFace on December 18, 2006, 02:45:23 AM

Listening to Queen's Night at the Opera + Condemned = hilariously fucked up.

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: Mondain on December 18, 2006, 04:21:31 AM

fuck, after a few trials I was gonna beat that frustrating final escape level, but the soldier somehow got stuck under the path because of a bug and the countdown went to zero, making the mission fail

and I can't stress enough how GAY and awkward the game's music is

it's the final escape level and it could be tense and amazing like in say... Halo's last level

but NOOOOO, we have to bear some generic elevator music that sounds like it's been made for some Mercedes-Benz TV commercial

and the sound of those red suicide bombers is ridiculously queer too, along with the sound emitted by your soldier when he dies... it sounds as if one of the programmers turned his 5$ PC mic on and recorded his voice on his HDD

a great hommage to old arcade games, but these touches spoil the ambiance and affect the gamer's will to replay Assault Heroes over and over again

Title: Re: ASSAULT HEROES :punch RESPECT
Post by: MrAngryFace on December 18, 2006, 10:55:09 AM

I actually had the game crash on me at the train boss when I pressed A to see its weak point. I bet it was some special BOSS DEFENSE SYSTEM. It sucked cause I had beat my friendslist highscore and had 11 lives :(

As for the suicide bombers, it's either a shout out to:

A.) Serious Sam's screaming suicide guys.
B.) Racial Stereotyping that references TERRORISM