THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Himu on March 03, 2010, 11:59:06 PM

Title: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 03, 2010, 11:59:06 PM
http://kotaku.com/5484581/japan-its-not-funny-anymore

 :yuck :yuck :yuck
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Robo on March 04, 2010, 12:03:17 AM
You didn't even read it.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 12:03:56 AM
The first thing I do whenever there's a Tim Rogers piece on Kotaku is quickly scroll through it to see how long it is.  The second thing I do is close the fucking page because I'm not going to read that anal retentive moron's verbal diarrhea.

You should do the same, Himu-chan.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 12:04:16 AM
I read a portion of it and closed the box.

When he got to "PEOPLE SMOKE TOO MUCH" I just rolled my eyes.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 12:04:33 AM
blah blah blah BOLDED PART blah blah blah blah blah
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 04, 2010, 12:07:32 AM
Why did you post this?
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: demi on March 04, 2010, 12:08:01 AM
Sounds good to me. I've always said Japan is a shit place. Sorry the truth hurts, japafag Himuchan.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Robo on March 04, 2010, 12:08:05 AM
I want a thorough analysis of Chapter 7 in 1,000 words or less on my desk by tomorrow morning.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 12:08:26 AM
Why did you post this?

I DON'T KNOW. It was so BAD I just had to.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 12:09:48 AM
Why the fuck would you read a Tim Rogers article, bro?  Seriously.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 12:15:29 AM
Does anyone actually read a Tim Rogers article?
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 12:17:43 AM
I know you guys hate on the guy big time but this is my first real exposure to his lunacy.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 04, 2010, 12:21:01 AM
weird - i just came back from lunch with a friend who complained about this very article. He made the unfortunate error of opening it on his Blackberry, which froze it for about a minute. He said he couldn't believe what garbage it was, and shut it down after about a minute of downward scrolling, looking for the next article. Tim Rogers must be the most widely unread writer on the planet.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: ManaByte on March 04, 2010, 12:25:33 AM
omfg that thing is tl;dl to the extreme. It needs to be nuked from orbit.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on March 04, 2010, 12:27:03 AM
I found it amusing enough, personally.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: OptimoPeach on March 04, 2010, 12:29:30 AM
Quote
What this has to do with videogames: When you buy Super Famicom games in used game shops, the gray plastic is very often stained deep, ugly yellow from existing in houses packed to bursting with cigarette smoke. Sometimes, the consoles themselves are so yellow.
:lol Someone should clue him in to the phenomenon of oxidation. This guy cannot be for real

edit: He also whines about meat in food and people that drink. Is he a gaffot, perchance?
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: CajoleJuice on March 04, 2010, 12:30:41 AM
Holy fucking shit that is a novella
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 12:31:18 AM
A lot of my friend's snes' are now yellow.

And they don't smoke.

???
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 04, 2010, 12:32:19 AM
That article is approximately 16,000 words. For those playing out home, that's about 60 pages.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 12:33:25 AM
Rogers is a moron, Himu.  My old SNES turned yellow and nobody in my family smokes.  It has to do with the plastic aging.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 12:34:37 AM
Putting your SNES in a dark place preserves the plastic. I've left all of my old systems at my parent's house and my SNES is still gray.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 12:38:35 AM
Quote
What this has to do with videogames: When you buy Super Famicom games in used game shops, the gray plastic is very often stained deep, ugly yellow from existing in houses packed to bursting with cigarette smoke. Sometimes, the consoles themselves are so yellow.
:lol Someone should clue him in to the phenomenon of oxidation. This guy cannot be for real

edit: He also whines about meat in food and people that drink. Is he a gaffot, perchance?

What does he say about meat in food and people that drink? :lol
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Diunx on March 04, 2010, 12:42:50 AM
Quote
What this has to do with videogames: When you buy Super Famicom games in used game shops, the gray plastic is very often stained deep, ugly yellow from existing in houses packed to bursting with cigarette smoke. Sometimes, the consoles themselves are so yellow.
:lol Someone should clue him in to the phenomenon of oxidation. This guy cannot be for real

edit: He also whines about meat in food and people that drink. Is he a gaffot, perchance?

WTF!!!! :rofl my last snes was yellow by the end of its life and I sure as fuck didn't smoke when I was 12, who the fucks read the garbage this idiot writes?
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: cool breeze on March 04, 2010, 12:43:12 AM
I'm still scrolling down  :lol

I'm not even halfway down yet! what is this?
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: demi on March 04, 2010, 12:44:55 AM
Plastic yellows because of the UV light
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: ManaByte on March 04, 2010, 12:47:48 AM
The sad thing is, the more people click on that thing the more money he gets paid. Gawker pays per pageview.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: cool breeze on March 04, 2010, 12:48:56 AM
Quote
TAPE

If I buy a drink at a convenience store and say I don't want a bag, they insist on putting a little piece of tape over the barcode. Most of the time, they put it on sideways, instead of vertically — you know, the way that would prevent the barcode from being scanned by a rogue scanner. They do this so you can prove that you paid for the drink, should you roll into another convenient store glugging away.

They should do this in america.  awesome idea.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 12:50:37 AM
Allergic to alcohol? What if he gets a wound?

What the fuck. I've never heard of being allergic to alcohol ever.

Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Robo on March 04, 2010, 12:50:46 AM
Quote
When you buy Super Famicom games in used game shops, the gray plastic is very often stained deep, ugly yellow from existing in houses packed to bursting with cigarette smoke

yeah, this isn't true at all. I shall find the article that explains why they go yellow but it's NOTHING to do with smoking.


Here it is: http://www.vintagecomputing.com/index.php/archives/189
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 12:53:23 AM
Quote
When you buy Super Famicom games in used game shops, the gray plastic is very often stained deep, ugly yellow from existing in houses packed to bursting with cigarette smoke

yeah, this isn't true at all. I shall find the article that explains why they go yellow but it's NOTHING to do with smoking.


Here it is: http://www.vintagecomputing.com/index.php/archives/189

Looks like a limited edition Zelda snes.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Diunx on March 04, 2010, 12:53:43 AM
The sad thing is, the more people click on that thing the more money he gets paid. Gawker pays per pageview.

Well, copy pasting the article would take like 5 pages over here so there aren't a lot of options.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: cool breeze on March 04, 2010, 12:55:48 AM
Allergic to alcohol? What if he gets a wound?

What the fuck. I've never heard of being allergic to alcohol ever.



I'm not allergic to alcohol, but it kinda burns my throat, if that makes sense.  I'm overly sensitive it, as is my mom, and I'm guessing I inherited it from her.

Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich on March 04, 2010, 12:57:46 AM
I am actually allergic to beer. I almost died of anaphylactic (sp?) shock when I was in college after downing a 40. True story, bro.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 12:58:41 AM
Arby's :(
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Don Flamenco on March 04, 2010, 01:09:49 AM
we should make it a rule to post "O HAI O GOZAIMASU!!!"  as your first post on EB every morning.  or else you aren't part of the team. 


that was some serious livejournal shit...he came off as the hippy in the popplers episode of futurama.  on the other hand, maybe he paints a portrait of what a lot of hopeful weeaboos might be headed in for when they move to Japan?

edit: ah, I see dcharlie is debunking some of this stuff. 
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 01:13:17 AM
dcharlie actually knows Tim Rogers irl.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: bork on March 04, 2010, 01:19:57 AM
I read some and skimmed the rest.  The TL;DR version is:

-"I like video games and anime and shit from the 80s and 90s!  Fuck the stuff now!"  (Very important reasons to want to live in a country, Tim.) 
-"I like to ride trains and sip Coke Zero!"
-"I hate people who smoke n' shit!  WHY DOES THIS MATTER?!  CUZ THAT FAMICOM GAME I BOUGHT SMELLS LIKE TAR"
-"The foods have meat products in them!"
-"'Mandatory' company parties suck!"
-"A bunch of Japanese culture stuff is annoying to me now!"

Go home, Tim.  You're an over-the-hill weeaboo.  It's time to leave.

BTW, when I was living there, I found those "mandatory" enkais to be pretty stupid.  So I didn't go after going to one or two of them, especially when I noticed that none of the younger teachers ever showed up.  Guess what?  NOTHING CHANGED IN THE WORK PLACE.   :o  Teachers stopped bugging me about going after a while, especially when I made it clear that I didn't drink.  I did get an offer to go to an onsen with all the male teachers, which I politely declined.  "Are you sure?!  It's ONLY 30,000 YEN FOR ONE NIGHT!  You can pay in installments the rest of the year!" 

My enkai story: One of the few I went to was at some shitty little izakaya.  A lot of these places are like little tatami mat rooms in your house, only with someone bringing you food and drink.  Anyway, when it's over, most of the teachers went home.  The few that didn't (all male) went onto a host club.  I declined this invitation.  One of the teachers, who never, ever spoke to me at school, walks up to me and essentially says "what are you, a cigarillo?!"  I wasn't able to do anything before another teacher immediately stepped in and drew a heart symbol in the air with his hands, and said "no, no!  He's all in love with a girl!  Leave him be!"  I told the English teachers that were still there "yeah, and I don't have to pay for mine, either!"  That was fun.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 01:22:39 AM
- Gunbuster rox.
- Coke Zero sux, but melon soda is awsum.
- Why's he such a pussy?  I remember when I came here five years ago.  Smoking has been outlawed in so many places since then.  Even game centers have cleaned up their act.
- Meat tastes good, turdlinger.
- Company parties rock, you get crunk'd and watch your co-workers go crazy.
- Japanese culture rox.

My rebuttal to his points.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 01:28:40 AM
- Company parties rock, you get crunk'd and watch your co-workers go crazy.

Too bad he's allergic to alcohol, amirite :teehee
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: bork on March 04, 2010, 01:30:13 AM
- Gunbuster rox.
- Coke Zero sux, but melon soda is awsum.

:bow Melon Soda :bow2  I swear, no Japanese likes that shit.  I couldn't get enough of it.   :lol

Quote
- Why's he such a pussy?  I remember when I came here five years ago.  Smoking has been outlawed in so many places since then.  Even game centers have cleaned up their act.
- Meat tastes good, turdlinger.
- Company parties rock, you get crunk'd and watch your co-workers go crazy.
- Japanese culture rox.

My rebuttal to his points.

He's a jaded, bitter weeaboo that needs to get over himself and just go home if he's tired of it.  The end.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 01:31:43 AM
He should just sip on his grape drank and be the only cool and collected one and end up banging the slutty office ladies.  But Rogers would rather go for the gold and try his hand at banging hostesses.

The thing is, if Rogers leaves Japan, what's he got?  What are his TRANSFERABLE SKILLZ from his life in Japan?
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: bork on March 04, 2010, 01:32:38 AM
Maybe that's the problem...maybe he's not getting laid.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: demi on March 04, 2010, 01:33:46 AM
oh god, now we got admiral japan here lording over all.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: bork on March 04, 2010, 01:34:51 AM
Another thing.  Maybe he should, I dunno...get the hell out of Tokyo?  Go live in the rural areas?  If all the dude does is write to earn his paycheck, it should be doable.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 01:36:48 AM
Living in a small town beats the shit out of living in Tokyo, IMO.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 04, 2010, 01:38:11 AM
oh god, now we got admiral japan here lording over all.

:lol

I think I may steal that for my tag. We should have an elimination tournament!
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: bork on March 04, 2010, 01:39:48 AM
Living in a small town beats the shit out of living in Tokyo, IMO.

A small city is doable, I dunno about a small town or village though.  My wife tonight was all excited because back in her hometown, they just got a 7-11.   :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 04, 2010, 01:40:53 AM
Living in a small town beats the shit out of living in Tokyo, IMO.

A small city is doable, I dunno about a small town or village though.  My wife tonight was all excited because back in her hometown, they just got a 7-11.   :o :o :o :o

Hint: In a smalltown, the lone gaijin is Admiral Japan.

Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 01:42:33 AM
Living in a small town beats the shit out of living in Tokyo, IMO.

A small city is doable, I dunno about a small town or village though.  My wife tonight was all excited because back in her hometown, they just got a 7-11.   :o :o :o :o

Why does she care?  You guys moving back to Japan? ???
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: bork on March 04, 2010, 01:47:32 AM
Living in a small town beats the shit out of living in Tokyo, IMO.

A small city is doable, I dunno about a small town or village though.  My wife tonight was all excited because back in her hometown, they just got a 7-11.   :o :o :o :o

Why does she care?  You guys moving back to Japan? ???

She heard about it from one of her friends.  Just a bit of home sickness..."American conbinis suck; I wanna go to a Japanese conbini!" etc etc  Back in that town, there was jack and shit to do.  You had a couple of conbinis, McDonald's, and CoCo's.  The one shopping plaza and bowling alley/gaming center circa 1993 would close pretty early.

Living in a small town beats the shit out of living in Tokyo, IMO.

A small city is doable, I dunno about a small town or village though.  My wife tonight was all excited because back in her hometown, they just got a 7-11.   :o :o :o :o

Hint: In a smalltown, the lone gaijin is Admiral Japan.



Sounds perfect for Tim Rogers!
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: ch1nchilla on March 04, 2010, 01:59:17 AM
Who is Tim Rogers?
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on March 04, 2010, 02:03:07 AM
I am planning to go to Japan for the first time ever next (2011) fall. 
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: bork on March 04, 2010, 02:03:42 AM
Who is Tim Rogers?

Some guy who writes 600 page video game articles.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: ch1nchilla on March 04, 2010, 02:38:17 AM
And yet again, i just wonder how much damage a real "This is what Tokyo is really like" series would do to nerdlingers across the interweb?

Plenty, holy fuck.

Also, the only valid point gleaned from a scroll through that article was that shit really is expensive in Tokyo. To the point where right now I'm enjoying my stay in rural Oregon just because I don't have to spend any money.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: tiesto on March 04, 2010, 09:43:53 AM
This guy is still around? And his articles have only been getting longer with time? I read one or two of his on the old Insert Credit site, then never looked back. Thought his 15 minutes were up...

I'm one of the lucky ones who never had his SNES yellow on him.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 04, 2010, 10:09:50 AM
I like how he puts Dragon Ball Z on this ivory pedestal, but bashes One Piece.

And that he proclaims that anime is dead, but says that Ponyo is one of the best movies that he's ever seen.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: fistfulofmetal on March 04, 2010, 10:28:15 AM
A lot of my friend's snes' are now yellow.

And they don't smoke.

???

probably liver failure. would see a doctor asap
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: demi on March 04, 2010, 10:46:44 AM
I like how he puts Dragon Ball Z on this ivory pedestal, but bashes One Piece.

And that he proclaims that anime is dead, but says that Ponyo is one of the best movies that he's ever seen.

His argument is that anime is full of pederast shit these days - the stuff you watch. And he's right.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 04, 2010, 10:56:40 AM
I like how he puts Dragon Ball Z on this ivory pedestal, but bashes One Piece.

And that he proclaims that anime is dead, but says that Ponyo is one of the best movies that he's ever seen.

His argument is that anime is full of pederast shit these days - the stuff you watch. And he's right.

He must have forgotten about Gundam Unicorn. Because that just came out and it's pretty boss.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 11:08:57 AM
What are you talking about Rumbler, Gundam Unicorn is for pedophiles!
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Mupepe on March 04, 2010, 11:09:17 AM
This guy sounds like he'd be a douche to hang out with in real life.  

"ughhhhhhh, this has beef extract in it.  Let's go"
"QUIT BEING SO NICE TO ME"
"EVERYONE IS SMOKING I'M GOING TO DIE"

he sounds like he'd be a fucking drama queen.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Robo on March 04, 2010, 11:18:19 AM
Man, you guys gotta read this.  The twist in Chapter 9 is fuckin' killer.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: WrikaWrek on March 04, 2010, 11:19:55 AM
Just sounds like the dude is getting a reality check.

Japan is for crazy ass people.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Trent Dole on March 04, 2010, 12:38:31 PM
Tim needs a punch in the face.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on March 04, 2010, 01:29:10 PM
I met him at a Kotaku party once. He acted like he was the most important man there. We sat down and had a couple of drinks while he spoke at length about how important he was within Sony and how Kutaragi knows him personally (protip: it was all a lie). I never found out if this was some kind of hilarious in-joke to him or he actually tried to purposely lie about himself to impress some stranger he just met.

I got that schpiel, too. Was there a perverse focus on the new VAIO they had carted into his office that was so huge it could barely fit? Cause he kept returning to that point, time and again.

Also, special for dcharlie: "THIS EGG! SHE GAVE ME ... THIS EGG!"
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Diunx on March 04, 2010, 03:28:40 PM
I like how he puts Dragon Ball Z on this ivory pedestal, but bashes One Piece.

And that he proclaims that anime is dead, but says that Ponyo is one of the best movies that he's ever seen.

He is right about that.

:bow Dragon Ball Z :bow2

:piss one shit :piss2
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 03:33:05 PM
I like how he puts Dragon Ball Z on this ivory pedestal, but bashes One Piece.

And that he proclaims that anime is dead, but says that Ponyo is one of the best movies that he's ever seen.

He is right about that.

:bow Dragon Ball Z :bow2

:piss one shit :piss2

ugh
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Don Flamenco on March 04, 2010, 06:11:29 PM
if it's an internet persona, then much respect for good trollin'.  Especially this 60 page epic. 
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Saint Cornelius on March 04, 2010, 06:19:57 PM
This guy sounds like a real whiny fhagurt.

Which is why I'm surprised Evilborians have not embraced him wholeheartedly!

spoiler (click to show/hide)
just kidding, whores
[close]
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: demi on March 04, 2010, 06:29:49 PM
Here's a vid of Mr. Rogers for your viewing pleasure

http://www.youtube.com/user/ActionButtonDotNet
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 07:02:19 PM
Tim Rogers' internet persona is...nah I won't ruin it for you.  I think DCharlie and co. know the truth though.

lol, you make it sound so mysterious.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Diunx on March 04, 2010, 07:13:45 PM
This is probably the lamest internet persona I have seen.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 04, 2010, 07:14:08 PM
I love how Genghis' avatar adds the 'Deal with it' subtext to every single post now :lol
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 07:14:15 PM
I'm pretty sure Tim Rogers actually has some sort of mental disorder.  The whole "internet persona" thing is just one of the more visible symptoms of it.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 07:42:46 PM
Sounds like a confused kid living in a city that has no love for him and dealing with people who will forever view him as an outsider. The Internet could be all that he has and he's constantly reinventing himself as a means to grab attention. Not surprising his Internet personas have bled into the real life. When you live that long feeling ostracized and failing to connect with the society around you things can get a little wacky.

Pretty much it.  The kid needs a harsh dose of reality.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Don Flamenco on March 04, 2010, 07:54:57 PM
aren't a lot of the ex-pat game-related workers in Japan kind of connected though?  seems like there'd be a place for him to fit in and not get too culture shocked.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 07:59:07 PM
I can't believe a Tim Rogers thread has gone on for three pages on EB.  I'm ashamed of myself for contributing.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Don Flamenco on March 04, 2010, 08:00:28 PM
both of your mothers

Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: demi on March 04, 2010, 08:07:34 PM
Who would win in an argument - etoilet or tim rogers
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 08:10:56 PM
etiolate since he is fucking awesome.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 08:31:29 PM
Put etoilate, Tim Rogers and am nintenho in the same room with a spork - see who comes out alive.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 08:32:55 PM
:sp0rsk1 :sp0rsk1 :sp0rsk1


btw, I just realized I actually taught the kid in this gif when he went to high school.  He graduated last year. --> :hehe
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 04, 2010, 08:37:40 PM
please please please everyone stop discussing this attention whore

no-one likes reading his stuff, which is the only thing he has to offer, yet there have been about a dozen threads about him on EB alone. Tokyopia was even worse.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 08:42:57 PM
Blame Himuro!  He made the thread!
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 08:43:33 PM
I even blogged about him today.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 08:45:47 PM
Make a blog post about Jeffrey Wells, Willco.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 08:48:00 PM
Jeffrey Wells isn't even funny to talk about.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: demi on March 04, 2010, 08:48:05 PM
Make a blog post about Jeffrey Wells, Willco.

please please please everyone stop discussing this attention whore

no-one likes reading his stuff, which is the only thing he has to offer, yet there have been about a dozen threads about him on EB alone. GAF was even worse.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 08:50:26 PM
I will say, when one of The Projectionist producers called me in the afternoon after having read my blog, he was stunned that someone like Tim Rogers actually existed. He said he tried to read his Kotaku article, but got a few paragraphs in and quit. :lol
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 08:51:30 PM
Jeffrey Wells isn't even funny to talk about.

Jeffrey Wells is fucking hilarious.  You should read the angry entry he wrote about when he stayed at a bed and breakfast a couple of years in a row and felt the owner was his "Sundance Festival Grandma" so the last time he was there, he left his cowboy hat with her and told her he'd be back to pick it up next year.

So next year rolls around and he waits till a couple of weeks before Sundance and then e-mails "Granny" to tell her that he's planning on staying at her bed and breakfast again.  She e-mails back and tells him sorry, but the rooms are all booked, which shocks and angers him.  He's been betrayed by his own Grandma, after he left her his cowboy hat, which was clearly an elegant, classy gesture that meant he was planning on coming back this year and she should've held a room for him.

So he makes the blog entry, people comment on it making fun of him, someone links the entry to Granny, and she e-mails him telling him she feels harrassed and that she's leaving the cowboy hat at the police station for him to pick up because she doesn't want him coming back to her house. :lol
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 08:53:31 PM
That doesn't seem funny, that seems like one incident out of many for an Internet blogger/sociopath. That side of Hollywood isn't even fun for me to talk about!
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 08:54:34 PM
Also, Don Murphy, Mike Binder, and George Hickenlooper all are regular or semi-regular commenters.  It's a good way to build up some industry "connections", Willco.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Himu on March 04, 2010, 08:56:48 PM
I will say, when one of The Projectionist producers called me in the afternoon after having read my blog, he was stunned that someone like Tim Rogers actually existed. He said he tried to read his Kotaku article, but got a few paragraphs in and quit. :lol

Link to blog  :lol
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 08:58:21 PM
He didn't write anything on the blog, but here is a link nevertheless (http://hollywoodsellouts.com/2010/03/04/tim-rogers-itrsquos-not-funny-anymore.aspx). Bookmark it. I did reference Cormacaroni today, as well.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 08:59:25 PM
Reference me in your next post, please. :(
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 09:01:09 PM
Say something memorable! I usually write them in like twenty minutes, right after I've had my coffee and breakfast - so I am not awake enough to write anything truly profound. Especially since only 40 to 90 people read the blog each day. :lol
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 09:02:10 PM
Write a rebuttal regarding my views on Jeffrey Wells!
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 09:03:29 PM
It would probably go something like:

Jeffrey Wells sucks

I think Jeffrey Wells sucks.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 09:06:20 PM
That's a horrible thing to say to Ichirou!
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 09:06:34 PM
It would probably go something like:

Jeffrey Wells sucks

I think Jeffrey Wells sucks.

His takedown campaigns are amazing.  He's been focusing his efforts on taking down Inglorious Bastards and Mo'nique this year.  The bile he reserves for his Mo'nique points would make me think he's a huge racist if he hadn't been such a huge supporter of Obama last year.

His posts on the Hispanic Party Elephants (latino fatties with a preference for loud music and stomping) were all hilarious until they actually got him KICKED OUT of the apartment he was illegally subletting because he got so pissed off at their noise he called the cops on them.

EDIT: Also, supposedly when he goes to a movie and doesn't enjoy it, he starts moving in his seat, shaking his head and audibly groaning.  Other people who've gone to critics' screenings have testified that he actually does this. :lol
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 09:08:27 PM
It sounds like you should write about Jeffrey Wells!
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 09:09:30 PM
All I would do is just describe his most insane posts because they make me laugh so fucking hard.  Are there really a lot of people like him in Hollywood, Willco?
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 09:11:25 PM
Short answer: yes

Long answer: yes but
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 09:13:26 PM
Shit, let me salvage this thread and post the "emotionally vivid cowboy hat" stuff.

Check out Wells' reply when his commenters start LOL'ing and saying he was a moron for believing leaving a cowboy hat was the equivalent of a room reservation:

Wells to 62 Lincoln and the others who don't get it: Yes, yes...if I'd left a cash deposit or a credit-card number then the room would have been assured. I'm not an idiot. But leaving the cowboy hat and plainly stating to the proprietor that I'd come back and wear it the following year (especially after having stayed at the Star in '07 and '08 and been part of the family there, in a sense) was a very emotionally vivid and pronounced way of stating my intentions. It was a message that is recognized by everyone all over the world. It's even recognized in the animal kingdom (i.e., leaving your scent on a piece of turf).

If you go out with a girl and she comes home with you and stays the night and she leaves her underwear or bra or socks in your bedroom after she leaves the next morning, we all know that's a universal message that says, "I want to come back and get to know you better and probably have sex with you again." Everyone knows that. Leaving an article of clothing, something with your scent and paw-prints and sweat residue on it, means that you intend to come back and spray your scent around some more.

If you were to see a 1930s Gary Cooper western and hotel manager Frances Farmer, giving him the old twinkle-eye, asked him if he was coming back after taking his cattle to market, and if he faintly grinned at her and took off his cowboy hat and left it hanging on the wall as he walks out the door, everybody watching the film in any country in the world would know exactly what that means. It would be crystal clear. So don't tell me. Credit cards are well and good, but to say left-behind cowboy hats and such mean nothing is to be way too "dollars and cents" about this matter.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 04, 2010, 09:15:02 PM
 :lol

Or he could just have forgotten it. Occam's Razor me that.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 09:15:07 PM
Links to the saga (you have to read the comments to get the full-on hilarity):

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2008/12/couch_potato.php

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2008/12/end_of_the_hat.php

http://www.hollywood-elsewhere.com/2009/01/hat_is_back.php
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 09:16:04 PM
So when I said to her last year that I'd like to leave my cowboy hat there so I could just pick up in '09 where I left off in '08, I was obviously saying to her (in my head at least, and I can't imagine how she could have interpreted this any differently) that I'd like it very much if she could be a nice and considerate grandma and hold my hat for me, and that I'd be back to stay the following year. Simple and quite clear all around. I trusted her to get what I meant because, I figured, she surely recognizes the trust and affection that we've had between us over the past two years.

But now things have ended badly. Very badly. I just heard from Carol that she considers my having discussed the matter in the column to be a form of blackmail (a somewhat hysterical interpretation, in my view) and that she's given my hat to the Park City police and that I can pick it up there when I get to town. The fuzz, for God's sake! She's brought the cops into this! Talk about a violation of the trust that comes with friendship and the values of good grandma-hood!
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 04, 2010, 09:18:09 PM
bwa
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 04, 2010, 09:20:13 PM
I will say, when one of The Projectionist producers called me in the afternoon after having read my blog, he was stunned that someone like Tim Rogers actually existed. He said he tried to read his Kotaku article, but got a few paragraphs in and quit. :lol

In the interest of keeping down his Google ranking, how about adding an alias to change 'Tim Rogers' to 'Admiral Japan'?
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 04, 2010, 09:21:02 PM
What am I reading
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on March 04, 2010, 09:24:47 PM
DAT HAT
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 09:25:55 PM
In the interest of keeping down his Google ranking, how about adding an alias to change 'Tim Rogers' to 'Admiral Japan'?

I think that's an insult to Japan, sir. Weeaboo Rogers reminds me of a skinnier, more douchier version of this guy:

(http://www.thetvaddict.com/blogpics/clark.jpg)
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 09:28:08 PM
Is that the guy from Hot Tub Time Machine?

BTW, censor Tim Rogers to Jeffrey Wells

:bow Wells :bow2

:piss Rogers :piss2
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 04, 2010, 09:28:18 PM
okay, i read that article. allow me to submit an eight-word synopsis and save you the time and irritation: "i have moved on from your japafaggotry, right?"
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 09:29:27 PM
You read that article, Prole? The entire article?

:bow Prole :bow2
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on March 04, 2010, 09:30:12 PM
I read it too!
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 04, 2010, 09:30:26 PM
Well, I think it's funny but perhaps only when said by Demi with extreme sarcasm.

Who is the above? If he had a scarf and perhaps a Salvation Army suit jacket, he could stand in for the Admiral quite admirably.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 09:30:43 PM
I read it too!

Yeah, but Prole's time is actually worth something!

spoiler (click to show/hide)
:-*
[close]
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 09:31:26 PM
Well, guess we can add two people to the list of those who read Rogers' articles aside from his parents.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 04, 2010, 09:31:58 PM
i read very fast. i could be tim rogers' ideal audience; i can read as fast as he can write. but in a cruel twist of irony, i am unable to listen, just as he is unable to say anything. it's like we're characters in one of richard matheson's lamer shorts!
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: The Fake Shemp on March 04, 2010, 09:32:10 PM
Not surprisingly, both are self-admitted japafags. :-\
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 04, 2010, 09:33:14 PM
yeah, but i still bought star ocean without trying to commit 16000-word seppuku.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Ichirou on March 04, 2010, 09:35:07 PM
The PSP Star Oceans are really awesome.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on March 04, 2010, 09:35:23 PM
I don't read most of Tim's logorrhea, but as a self-loathing weeaboo and ex-ex-patriate, this one hit pretty close to home. Plus, like Prole, I read stupid fast.

I read the whole thing too and it wasn't nearly as entertaining than that epic Oregon Trail story I read the other day.

On a scale from 1 to 10 ... how much do you want to marry Susan? Be honest.
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: ferrarimanf355 on March 04, 2010, 10:00:14 PM
http://kotaku.com/5484581/japan-its-not-funny-anymore

 :yuck :yuck :yuck
What's worse is his Final Fantasy XIII review. 18,000 words for a two-star game. :yuck

It's like reading War and Peace all over again. :yuck
Title: Re: Tim Rogers writes the worst article ever
Post by: M3wThr33 on March 11, 2010, 08:45:44 PM
Out of curiosity I looked him up on Facebook and we share a mutual friend.

:(