THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Joe Molotov on March 31, 2010, 09:03:10 PM

Title: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Joe Molotov on March 31, 2010, 09:03:10 PM
(http://i40.tinypic.com/hrzrjt.jpg)

I was kind of over this Tiger Woods thing, until the new Vanity Fair article leaked. I figured after the IM's leaked, there was nowhere left to go. But man, there's some great stuff in here.

Quote
"Hi, this is Ti," the caller said.

"Who?" she asked.

"Tiger. A couple of friends and I are going out tonight to the Blue Martini, and I was wondering if you wanted to join us?"

They met up that night and ended up having sex at his house.

She said he purred, "You have a perfect body."

Lawton said she grabbed his penis. "Wow," she said. "It was the biggest I've ever seen."

Quote
"He wanted that last piece of booty before he could go to his tournament. To make him shoot better," she said.

They met in a parking lot. She said she told him she was having her period and asked if they could avoid intercourse.

But Tiger would not be denied, Lawton said. She said they started going at it next to the golfer's Cadillac SUV.

"He told me to pull my underwear down and pull out my tampon, and we went at it with me pressed up against his Escalade," she said. "He did it from the back."

Quote
"The National Enquirer has found out," she wrote.

"They have no proof," he replied.

"Church parking lot," she said.

"Oh, crap," he responded.

"I need to speak with you," she said.

"I can't, I'm at a children's function right now," he said.

And the best part...

Quote
According to Jungers and Lawton, Tiger was a real cheap date. The definition of cheap depends on what you think of Subway chicken wraps.

Tiger's not afraid to ford the Red River, and he'll buy you a Subway sammich afterward, now that's a gentleman. :bow2 Ben Roethlisberger needs to be writing this shit down, because apparently he's been doing it wrong.
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: demi on March 31, 2010, 09:04:20 PM
:lol Pull your tampon out. That's awesome
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Himu on March 31, 2010, 09:05:27 PM
:rofl
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Fresh Prince on March 31, 2010, 09:15:35 PM
himu learn from this man! Not Red Lobster- Subway.
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 31, 2010, 09:30:55 PM
Quote
According to Jungers and Lawton, Tiger was a real cheap date. The definition of cheap depends on what you think of Subway chicken wraps.

If I can take a girl to Olive Garden, so can Tiger. smh breh
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 31, 2010, 09:41:20 PM
Quote
Lawton said she grabbed his penis. "Wow," she said. "It was the biggest I've ever seen."

Can't wait for the sex tape to drop (no homo)

*daps Smooth Groove*
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Tauntaun on March 31, 2010, 09:42:15 PM
Quote
"The National Enquirer has found out," she wrote.

"They have no proof," he replied.

"Church parking lot," she said.

"Oh, crap," he responded.

"I need to speak with you," she said.

"I can't, I'm at a children's function right now," he said.

:rofl
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Diunx on March 31, 2010, 09:48:35 PM
Quote
Lawton said she grabbed his penis. "Wow," she said. "It was the biggest I've ever seen."

Can't wait for the sex tape to drop (no homo)

*daps Smooth Groove*

Its only a matter of time now :lol
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: drew on March 31, 2010, 10:34:03 PM
wow, fucking a girl in on your escalade, i cant believe he got caught!
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: AdmiralViscen on March 31, 2010, 10:42:18 PM
 :lol
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Smooth Groove on March 31, 2010, 11:15:29 PM
Sorry, zero interest.  Bitch is fugly!   :yuck

Tiger has the wackest taste, just like Sandra Bullock's husband.
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Joe Molotov on March 31, 2010, 11:42:51 PM
Tiger has the wackest taste, just like Sandra Bullock's husband.

As has been pointed out before, he basically liked banging skankier versions of his wife.

Except, I don't know what the deal was with this chick.  WTF, Tiger? :derp
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Ichirou on March 31, 2010, 11:44:07 PM
I like how he never banged even a single asian or black chick. :lol
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Fresh Prince on March 31, 2010, 11:48:18 PM
I would say it's because Sandra and Elin were duds. Tiger or Jessie whatever are not the type of guys that look into their partner's eyes in the missionary posistion :smug
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Smooth Groove on March 31, 2010, 11:48:57 PM
Tiger has the wackest taste, just like Sandra Bullock's husband.

As has been pointed out before, he basically liked banging skankier versions of his wife.

Except, I don't know what the deal was with this chick.  WTF, Tiger? :derp

His pornstar GF Joslyn James is also nasty as hell.  She only gets to star in 3rd rate IR flicks.  Sean Michaels wouldn't touch her with Mandingo's stick.  
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 01, 2010, 12:17:34 AM
Yea she looks so dirty. Her tits are all stretchy and shit, wtf
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: lennedsay on April 01, 2010, 02:16:05 AM
 :-X

spoiler (click to show/hide)
:drool
[close]
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: brob on April 01, 2010, 02:48:23 AM
If he's hounding dogs when he could get prime pussy it only means that he was looking for something people with dignity don't offer.


spoiler (click to show/hide)
hopefully the sex tape has scat or urethra insertions  :hump
[close]
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Bloodwake on April 01, 2010, 02:38:36 PM
lmfao. Wow. Not impressed with Tiger's choices when he has the prime rib at the house.
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 01, 2010, 02:43:26 PM
lmfao. Wow. Not impressed with Tiger's choices when he has the prime rib at the house.

Even if he has prime rib, he sometimes is hungry for Taco Bell. He knows it's horrible and afterward he'll be sick to his stomach in a fetal position in the bathroom, but he can't help himself.
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Diunx on April 01, 2010, 03:36:27 PM
lmfao. Wow. Not impressed with Tiger's choices when he has the prime rib at the house.

Even if he has prime rib, he sometimes is hungry for Subway. He knows it's horrible and afterward he'll be sick to his stomach in a fetal position in the bathroom, but he can't help himself.

Fixed.
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Robo on April 01, 2010, 03:46:49 PM
Maybe she's a total butter face.  I can see that being a possibility.
Title: Re: "You have a perfect body", Tiger purred.
Post by: Diunx on April 01, 2010, 04:03:24 PM
Her tits don't look big enough to be a butterface.