THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Wrath2X on May 29, 2010, 06:47:55 AM

Title: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Wrath2X on May 29, 2010, 06:47:55 AM
Yesterday 52 years ago, a mustachioed man was born.

The man was half mustache and half penis(quite the incident happened when they thought it was the umbilical chord), and all awesome. Born to a man who had 20+ kids to 9 different women, the mustachioed man was lonely and looked down upon during his childhood. Going from home to home being called the ni'ggers child was tough for our little mustachioed hero.

When our mustachioed hero was 18, he enlisted into the marines and people were wowed by his and his cocks mustache and talent. He went passed through many tough survival tests with flying colors(although he didn't swing that way). One day he said "Fuck these pussies I'm leaving" and fled the marines at night, to which he had to be jailed and was bailed out. His sister and my aunt god rest her soul bailed him out and got money so that she can send him to america to study in Penn State University.

During his time on american soil, the mustachioed man was an atheist and had all kinds of fun. He sang yellow submarine to fuck a beatles loving chick, and went to a Barry White concert so he can fuck more chicks. He owned a guitar and was a real rocker.

He realized that since he was so godly, there must be a god. So he reverted back to islam although he still pretty much is the mustachioed man we all know and love. He came here and got himself a blonde, that blonde is my mother. He was recruited in Aramco and now holds one of the highest positions there. He still is the chain smoking asshole we call the mustachioed man, and now for a select few mustachioed man moments:

-Once in Bahrain there was this chick sitting down and you could see her ass since her pants was so low. Being a mustachioed man who doesn't give two shits, he got behind her and looked down her pants to which everyone noticed and then yelled out to me while pointing at her "YOU CAN SEE THIS GIRLS ASSCRACK BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

-He took me to a bar once and made me flirt with prostitutes so that I can know how to act around women(I was 14).

-He once called a really nice teacher of mine a terrorist. And whenever he sees him he yells out "HEY ITS THE FUCKING TERRORIST HOW YA DOING OSAMA!?" and frequently says "for a terrorist you're not a good one, for example you're still alive"

-He once slapped an egyptian teacher of my brothers who ran away in tears.

-He frequently flirts with women to get price cuts, and he taught me how to do it.

-His favorite movies ever are The Good, The Bad and The Ugly and Superman.

-His favorite band ever is The Police.

-He taught me about Rock N' Roll.

-Hates Bernie Mac with a burning passion, no one knows why. My theory is that Bernie ragged on him during a stand up show he went to.

-Loves the Steelers and Lakers, fucking hates the Broncos and John Elway.

-He talks about sex frequently with my mother going into all the details  :-\

-Once in germany he shaved his mustache like Hitlers as a joke and then proceeded to shave it all to which it magically sprouted again.

-He looks like a mix of Bill Cosby, Michael Jordan, Jackie Chan, the dad Alan from Boy Meets World and one certain guy from Michael Jacksons Black and White video.

All hail the Mustachioed Man! for yesterday was his day of arrival.

Happy birthday dad!

Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Powerslave on May 29, 2010, 07:53:38 AM
قصة الأخ بارد
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Great Rumbler on May 29, 2010, 08:00:29 AM
Your dad sounds like Arabian Chuck Norris, which is pretty awesome.
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Powerslave on May 29, 2010, 08:03:05 AM
التعامل معها
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Ichirou on May 29, 2010, 08:07:51 AM
Vayan a mamarse los bichos a otro lado, arabes.
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: BlackMage on May 29, 2010, 09:09:34 AM
does he charge your mother for mustache rides or does she get free pass?
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Diunx on May 29, 2010, 09:51:47 AM
Reported for terrorism and Muslim propaganda.  :american
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FA
Post by: lennedsay on May 29, 2010, 10:19:39 AM
:bow MM :bow2

His name should be Barry (the Stache).

Today is my mom's birthday. She's not as cool as him, as he sounds like he should have his own Dos Equis commercials, but she's amazing. :heartbeat

spoiler (click to show/hide)
And she secretly gets high with my hippie dad, but I've known since high school and it's funny watching her try to hide it like I'm a naive kid.

:bow Mom
[close]
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: T234 on May 29, 2010, 12:07:13 PM
I MUST MEET THE MUSTACHIOED MAN

I ALSO MUST GET STONED WITH LENNEDSAY'S MOM
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FA
Post by: lennedsay on May 29, 2010, 12:43:23 PM
:rofl

:bow Wrath :bow2

Now let's all get high with my mom. :rock
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Phoenix Dark on May 29, 2010, 12:44:05 PM
I must see this man.

your mom is blond/white?  :o
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Diunx on May 29, 2010, 01:02:18 PM
Quote from: lennedsay on May 29, 2010, 10:19:39 AM
:bow MM :bow2

His name should be Barry (the Stache).

Today is my mom's birthday. She's not as cool as him, as he sounds like he should have his own Dos Equis commercials, but she's amazing. :heartbeat

spoiler (click to show/hide)
And she secretly gets high with my hippie dad, but I've known since high school and it's funny watching her try to hide it like I'm a naive kid.

:bow Mom
[close]


Is she hot? has she shown any interest in short latino men? :-*
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Ichirou on May 29, 2010, 09:06:35 PM
Quote from: Wrath2X on May 29, 2010, 11:55:56 AM
Quote from: Ichirou on May 29, 2010, 08:07:51 AM
Vayan a mamarse los bichos a otro lado, arabes.
Chúpame el pito perra

Porque no te lo chupa el hombre con el bigote, gamberro?
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FA
Post by: chronovore on May 29, 2010, 10:03:05 PM
Was he born with a mustache? That would be something to celebrate!
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Joe Molotov on May 29, 2010, 10:05:37 PM
Quote from: Wrath2X on May 29, 2010, 11:52:02 AM
-The Mustachioed Man jerks it whenever he wants and he doesn't care who sees.

He jerks it whenever he wants and doesn't afraid of anything. :bow2
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Phoenix Dark on May 29, 2010, 10:15:38 PM
pics of mrs wrath kthnxbye
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Ichirou on May 30, 2010, 01:34:15 AM
Quote from: Wrath2X on May 30, 2010, 12:39:19 AM
Quote from: Ichirou on May 29, 2010, 09:06:35 PM
Porque no te lo chupa el hombre con el bigote, gamberro?
No porque eres el tipo que chupa pollas japonés, mientras que empujar dvd Gundam en el culo

Vete a chuparle la verga a unos cuantos camellos.
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Fresh Prince on May 30, 2010, 02:27:36 AM
Do you have sisters, Wrath? Because growing around a father like that....
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Ichirou on May 30, 2010, 02:57:45 AM
التعامل معها
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: MCD on May 30, 2010, 03:09:23 AM
Quote
-His favorite games are Super Mario 64 and Donkey Kong Country.

FAKE
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Himu on May 31, 2010, 04:00:06 PM
This sounds like the best dad ever
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Himu on May 31, 2010, 04:02:52 PM
Quote from: Wrath2X on May 29, 2010, 11:52:02 AM
Well I was supposed to give my brother a ride somewhere but he apparently got that covered, so here's some more moments and facts:

-He walks around either naked or in his Leopard skin speedo's whenever he wants to. He used to do it all the time but for some reason he stopped lately, although I once woke up and went to get some clothes. The drawer was by the stairs and when I looked up I saw the Mustachioed Man's ass  :-\ I ran away then and there.

-He was helping me study and was changing the channels to find something to watch, he left the porn channel on for 20 minutes.

-The Mustachioed Man never closes the bathroom door, it's against his nature.

-One time I was up early studying for a test and I was in the living room, The Mustachioed Man was enjoying his slumber and suddenly went into a symphonic fart rendition of Beethoven. No one believes me to this day.

-The Mustachioed Man hates egyptians with an intensity that rivals that of a greek god. He'll always assault them for being egyptians.

-The Mustachioed Man named me after the islamic hitler to see if I can take it.

-His favorite games are Super Mario 64 and Donkey Kong Country.

-The Mustachioed Man smokes more cigarette's than I can count.

-The Mustachioed Man is 5"5 and very muscular(I'm serious The Mustachioed Man used to be some sort of body builder).

-The Mustachioed Man jerks it whenever he wants and he doesn't care who sees.

Thats all I've got for now, I'll leave more moments for the future if he ever gets popular around here.

:lol
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FA
Post by: Brehvolution on May 31, 2010, 07:09:41 PM
Quote from: lennedsay on May 29, 2010, 10:19:39 AM
:bow MM :bow2

His name should be Barry (the Stache).

 :o A HVB reference! :bow

My wife would be proud. :heart
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Fresh Prince on May 31, 2010, 07:18:02 PM
You never answered my question!
Title: Re: Gather around Boreans, it's time I tolled you a story of legend, myth and FACT!!
Post by: Brehvolution on October 31, 2011, 10:13:04 AM
Quote from: AWESOM-O on October 31, 2011, 05:41:28 AM
Wow, Powerslave sure failed hard in post #4. Hot damn. I thought I'd seen failure before, but fuck.

At least he's consistent.