THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: The Fake Shemp on July 03, 2010, 01:34:00 PM
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So, yesterday, I stopped at Subway to buy my lunch and dinner (ham and turkey footlong!) and some guy with a frail, homely wife and the most introverted, socially awkward and gangly-looking kid* were putting in a mega order.
*I mean, you should have seen this kid. If I were to blow on him, he would fly against the wall. This kid would have hurt himself hitting an inflatable punching bag.
So at any rate, they were ordering six veggie subs for a long road trip, piled with so much vegetable matter that I felt like it defeated the point of ordering a sandwich. Wouldn't it have been more economical to just buy a bag of salad from the grocery story?
Apparently the guy behind the counter had the same thought, and the father stopped short of stepping on a soapbox and declaring that the vegetarian rapture had begun.
He turns to the rest of us - the regular, meat-eating folks waiting patiently (and impatiently) in line behind him - and begins to condescendingly explain how our silly belief that humans require meat is nothing more than a common myth. It's a lie. A hoax. We have been, quite frankly, bamboozled.
He tells us, and the Subway sandwich artist behind the counter, that all the protein the human body needs can be found in the twelve inches of 9-Grain Wheat Bread that lays before him. It's a fact, he says. Do the research, he concludes (to borrow a page from the Beardo school of debate).
Then he points to how healthy his son is, who has never once tasted the delicious mana from heaven that is toasted animal flesh, as proof of how superior vegetarians are. At this point, an extra from Cops who has the decal "ELLITIRET HEELBELLIE" plastered on his Ford F-150 outside, politely tells him to, "Shut the fuck up."
After some awkward silence, the man scurries his family into their boxy-looking hatchback and drives away. The self proclaimed illiterate redneck steps up to the counter, tells the guy what he wants and adds, "Double meat stuffed." :lol
That was my first ever encounter with an aggressive vegetarian. Who knew they had the testosterone necessary to launch that kind of diatribe.
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well there's no mistake that you can be very healthy on a vegetarian diet if you eat right. people waiting in line for their fast food aren't really going to give a damn though.
He would've probably had better luck if he said that you should cut back on meat for efficiency reasons rather than health.
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Yeah? And i fucked your wife"", always works in these situations.
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Fuck that shit. Double meat, double cheese ftw. When they ask what else I want on it, I look at them like they're fucking crazy. What else do you need? Heat that shit up and get me a cup for my Dr. Pepper.
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Marry me, lennedsay. Dump that loser husband, and we'll begin our new life on the open road. The world will be our oyster!
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As long as you can find the pearl :-*
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Yeah, I think you called his bluff there, lennedsay.
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Willco, you didn't come down to Georgia the other day, did you? I saw some dude that looked like you at a Chipotle.
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"We taught a lion to eat tofu!"
(http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h256/sausagemit/vlcsnap-664401.png)
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Yeah, I think you called his bluff there, lennedsay.
Like a mole peeking through a dense shrubbery :fbm
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I'm surprised he didn't pull the "Rome conquered the world with a vegetarian fighting force" card. Which sets up a whole host of possible gay joke retorts.
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The only thing I get at subway is tuna.
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wait, when did you make it into seattle?
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs037.snc4/34236_408218009294_589144294_4204999_219686_n.jpg)
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vegan hippie chicks :heart
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"We taught a lion to eat tofu!"
(http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h256/sausagemit/vlcsnap-664401.png)
:lol
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Marry me, lennedsay. Dump that loser husband, and we'll begin our new life on the open road. The world will be our oyster!
scuse me :punch
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"We taught a lion to eat tofu!"
That's like eating straight fiber for a carnivore, since they have nearly no cecum to break down the complex carbs in. Without a cecum, us apes couldn't be fart factories.
/nerd
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Marry me, lennedsay. Dump that loser husband, and we'll begin our new life on the open road. The world will be our oyster!
scuse me :punch
He only said to dump my husband. ::)
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Willco sux. he refuses to friend me on steam and FB.. he hates me! you should ignore him completely :maf
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I hate PETA types that think animals have the right to live or whatever but I agree with the environmentalists on how inefficient meat is. I don't eat meat more than a couple times a week.