THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 02:47:10 PM

Title: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 02:47:10 PM
I want to hear your honest opinions on this issue:

Lets say you are attracted to a wonderful lady your age who has a young child from her previous partner. Would you still be interested in meeting her and/or building a relationship knowing that she is a single mother? What kind of a relationship would you allow yourself to have with her?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Cravis on July 28, 2010, 02:48:34 PM
At least you know she puts out....
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on July 28, 2010, 02:48:43 PM
yes
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on July 28, 2010, 02:48:47 PM
no
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: TEEEPO on July 28, 2010, 02:49:06 PM
no
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 02:49:41 PM
Why?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Reb on July 28, 2010, 02:50:04 PM
If you're forty or older, yes.
Otherwise, no.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on July 28, 2010, 02:52:05 PM
Her vag probably looks like its been through the holocaust.

so looks like a regular vagina then? eh
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Eric P on July 28, 2010, 02:56:25 PM
no

i hate kids
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: fistfulofmetal on July 28, 2010, 02:59:34 PM
depends, does she have girls or boys?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 03:03:29 PM
depends, does she have girls or boys?
Boy or girl, doesn't matter.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Robo on July 28, 2010, 03:07:06 PM
Haven't and wouldn't.  I have a difficult time tolerating children, let alone pretending to get along with them.  No problem with gettin' up in them guts, though. 

Err, I mean, the mother, not the kids.  :ninja
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: cubicle47b on July 28, 2010, 03:09:45 PM
If she was substantially more attractive than the women I'd normally date and the kid was cool, yes.  It worked out really well for my brother-in-law.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 03:10:31 PM
If she was substantially more attractive than the women I'd normally date and the kid was cool, yes.  It worked out really well for my brother-in-law.
How old were they when they first meet?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: brob on July 28, 2010, 03:11:02 PM
yeah I would. The specifics of the situations (age of all parties involved, rate at which seriousness of relationship increases, etc) would of course have something to say about it. Like, I don't think I could date a woman over 30 with a child aged 10+ as that is clearly someone who wants to settle down, and I'm not.

 :munch
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: cubicle47b on July 28, 2010, 03:15:12 PM
If she was substantially more attractive than the women I'd normally date and the kid was cool, yes.  It worked out really well for my brother-in-law.
How old were they when they first meet?

She was in her early 30's, he's probably a few years older.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 28, 2010, 03:19:25 PM
Been there, done that, no thanks in the future.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Himu on July 28, 2010, 03:20:31 PM
Would you date a mtf post-op transsexual?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Eric P on July 28, 2010, 03:22:09 PM
Would you date a mtf post-op transsexual?

does s/he have kids?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: HyperZoneWasAwesome on July 28, 2010, 03:22:34 PM
did.

Couldn't get a third date.  Nice lady she was.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 03:23:25 PM
Been there, done that, no thanks in the future.
Can you share with us more? like at what age you meet, how long have you been together and why it didn't work out?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 03:24:29 PM
did.

Couldn't get a third date.  Nice lady she was.

How old were you two and the kid?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: BlueTsunami on July 28, 2010, 03:25:04 PM
No and its more due to not wanting to be some revolving man in that poor kids life

Its like a package deal, you go in interested in the woman and being there for the kid or nothing at all. Though I'm thinking of it as Black and White and I'm sure it ain't as cut and dry. I know of single moms who try to keep the boyfriends out of the child's life for its protection (emotional) and as well intended as that seems what that actually does is take considerable amount of time away from the mother and kid in favor of the mom trying to find the "right guy".
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Mupepe on July 28, 2010, 03:26:39 PM
No.  They're crazy.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 03:30:27 PM
No and its more due to not wanting to be some revolving man in that poor kids life
I want to hear more about this.
Won't it actually be better for the child to have someone else to at least support his/her mother by providing her with a shoulder to rest on?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Himu on July 28, 2010, 03:37:40 PM
Would you date a mtf post-op transsexual?

does s/he have kids?

nope!
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Beezy on July 28, 2010, 03:39:31 PM
Probably... I dunno. I'd definitely smash one though.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: HyperZoneWasAwesome on July 28, 2010, 03:42:22 PM
How old were you two and the kid?
the kid was very young, less then two, I was 23 and she was about the same age.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Dickie Dee on July 28, 2010, 03:44:04 PM
Chick from work I was really into, she was really cool and we'd go see shows together, hang. she was pretty awesome - but she had a 5 year old autistic kid. She was pretty clear about not looking for an insta father, but I just knew there was now way I could take on that sorta responsibility. I kinda let things fizzle. Do sort of regret it now.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: BlueTsunami on July 28, 2010, 03:45:35 PM
No and its more due to not wanting to be some revolving man in that poor kids life
I want to hear more about this.
Won't it actually be better for the child to have someone else to at least support his/her mother by providing her with a shoulder to rest on?

Definitely, I'm sure single mom's like anyone feel that sense of loneliness and I feel its a case of "Who am I to judge?". But the relationship between a Man and Woman and her child is seemingly that of a balancing act of time when the man and her child are kept apart.  Then there's letting the dude fully into her life but any new relationship is unsure so how can one build a bond with the kid and then move on when it doesn't work with the mother? This is me thinking about this stuff though, I'm sure theres guys at there that don't pay it any mind. All I know is that I couldn't unless I was 100% on being with the woman and being there for the kid. If I'm not, there's a world full of single women I can be with instead.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 03:49:02 PM
Chick from work I was really into, she was really cool and we'd go see shows together, hang. she was pretty awesome - but she had a 5 year old autistic kid. She was pretty clear about not looking for an insta father, but I just knew there was now way I could take on that sorta responsibility. I kinda let things fizzle. Do sort of regret it now.
Regret dating her or pulling out? How old where the two of you?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on July 28, 2010, 03:51:36 PM
No
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 03:53:09 PM
No and its more due to not wanting to be some revolving man in that poor kids life
I want to hear more about this.
Won't it actually be better for the child to have someone else to at least support his/her mother by providing her with a shoulder to rest on?

Definitely, I'm sure single mom's like anyone feel that sense of loneliness and I feel its a case of "Who am I to judge?". But the relationship between a Man and Woman and her child is seemingly that of a balancing act of time when the man and her child are kept apart.  Then there's letting the dude fully into her life but any new relationship is unsure so how can one build a bond with the kid and then move on when it doesn't work with the mother? This is me thinking about this stuff though, I'm sure theres guys at there that don't pay it any mind. All I know is that I couldn't unless I was 100% on being with the woman and being there for the kid. If I'm not, there's a world full of single women I can be with instead.
I see, so you try to avoid it all from the first place, no taking chances with dating and getting to know each other.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Himu on July 28, 2010, 03:54:31 PM
To answer your question, if I had the right frame of mind and a stable mid or high income...yes.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Dickie Dee on July 28, 2010, 03:55:14 PM
Chick from work I was really into, she was really cool and we'd go see shows together, hang. she was pretty awesome - but she had a 5 year old autistic kid. She was pretty clear about not looking for an insta father, but I just knew there was now way I could take on that sorta responsibility. I kinda let things fizzle. Do sort of regret it now.
Regret dating her or pulling out? How old where the two of you?

Regret pulling out, I was about 27 and her around 24. Anything that's come my way since then I already saw the end almost as soon as it began. Her I would've liked to stick with...
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: BlueTsunami on July 28, 2010, 03:58:36 PM
No and its more due to not wanting to be some revolving man in that poor kids life
I want to hear more about this.
Won't it actually be better for the child to have someone else to at least support his/her mother by providing her with a shoulder to rest on?

Definitely, I'm sure single mom's like anyone feel that sense of loneliness and I feel its a case of "Who am I to judge?". But the relationship between a Man and Woman and her child is seemingly that of a balancing act of time when the man and her child are kept apart.  Then there's letting the dude fully into her life but any new relationship is unsure so how can one build a bond with the kid and then move on when it doesn't work with the mother? This is me thinking about this stuff though, I'm sure theres guys at there that don't pay it any mind. All I know is that I couldn't unless I was 100% on being with the woman and being there for the kid. If I'm not, there's a world full of single women I can be with instead.
I see, so you try to avoid it all from the first place, no taking chances with dating and getting to know each other.

Yep. Its like, I'm not at a point in my life where I want to raise a kid so getting into a relationship with a single mother would go against that. I'd also like to add that I'm not opposed to raising another mans child if he isn't there for it and I'm in a relationship with the mother, so thats not a factor.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Himu on July 28, 2010, 03:58:52 PM
I'd adopt as well.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 04:00:08 PM
No, I have a weird thing about raising others kids. I'm not the kind who'd like to adopt either, if I were to raise a kid it has to be from the beginning or at least 1 year in.

So no to that and Himu's question.

But how far will you allow yourself to go when it comes to a relationship. Dating, fuck buddies, a romantic relationship, settle with her, or non of all of that?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Mupepe on July 28, 2010, 04:04:47 PM
I would never date a cheeseburger.

No matter what it's not a woman.  I don't care what the hell they say and how much they try, it's not a fucking female.  I don't have anything against what they do.  But I'd never be able to get over that.  It's still a dude.  I'm still a gay at that point.  That vagina is not going to look like a vagina.  Their voice is not going to sound like a woman's.  Their body will never really be shaped like a woman's.  Fake breasts don't feel right.  Everywhere I turn will be a reminder that there's a dude with a wig on and a gash between his legs resting his head on my stomach. 
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 04:06:51 PM
Yep. Its like, I'm not at a point in my life where I want to raise a kid so getting into a relationship with a single mother would go against that. I'd also like to add that I'm not opposed to raising another mans child if he isn't there for it and I'm in a relationship with the mother, so thats not a factor.
I see. I personally hold a position somewhere between what you and what Brobzoid said. I definitely do not mind raising a child that is not mine but I feel that I have to be with the right one in order to seriously commit to doing that. At the same time I do not mind dating/meeting someone with a child with not intentions of settling down as long as we are both ok with that.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Himu on July 28, 2010, 04:09:14 PM
I'm surprised at mupepe's stance on transsexuals. I didn't realize the stigma that all mtf's are cross dressers was so prevalent.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Mupepe on July 28, 2010, 04:13:06 PM
I'm surprised at mupepe's stance on transsexuals. I didn't realize the stigma that all mtf's are cross dressers was so prevalent.
i'm confused.  so a dude that wants to be a female wouldn't dress like one?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Himu on July 28, 2010, 04:16:54 PM
You suggested that all transsexuals have fake breasts and wear wigs and don't have female shapes or have the ability to sound like a woman. That's pretty much false.

Cross dressers tend to wear women's clothing and wear wig's for thrills, but that's it.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Mupepe on July 28, 2010, 04:19:22 PM
...

I'm still confused.

I never said they do it for thrills.  I said I would never be able to be fully into it because those glaring issues that i find with most cheeseburger's (rough voice, manly body, fake looking hair, fake breasts, etc) would be too much of a reminder for me.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Himu on July 28, 2010, 04:20:49 PM
Oh definitely. I was mentioning it because your description was more in the way of a cross dresser than what I was thinking of.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: drew on July 28, 2010, 04:21:35 PM
would date?

no

would bang?

absolutely
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: TripleA on July 28, 2010, 05:39:33 PM
No, a single mother is too much failure.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Mupepe on July 28, 2010, 05:41:44 PM
Oh definitely. I was mentioning it because your description was more in the way of a cross dresser than what I was thinking of.
neither are hot so maybe that's why i tend to fuse them together.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Eric P on July 28, 2010, 05:49:43 PM
No, a single mother is too much failure.

ha ha what?

wait, nevermind
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Beezy on July 28, 2010, 05:51:38 PM
No, a single mother is too much failure.
wow
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Kestastrophe on July 28, 2010, 06:09:17 PM
No.  They're crazy.
Thats kind of what I'm thinking too. I would still give it a shot though
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: drew on July 28, 2010, 06:26:53 PM
wow

he doesnt like dead rising, just do what i do and disregard everything he says
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: bork on July 28, 2010, 06:38:37 PM
No, a single mother is too much failure.

But you're a Nintendo fanboy.  Aren't you used to failure?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Himu on July 28, 2010, 06:40:13 PM
No, a single mother is too much failure.

jesus christ you're awful
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Saint Cornelius on July 28, 2010, 06:42:58 PM
Did for ten years. Doubt I would do it again.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 28, 2010, 06:47:27 PM
Did for ten years. Doubt I would do it again.
Can you share more about it? What age where the two of you and the kid when you started the relationship? How long have you been together and why didn't it work for you? What was the hard/worst part about it?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: bagofeyes on July 28, 2010, 06:49:00 PM
i'd bang a single mother

spoiler (click to show/hide)
and a married one too  :P
[close]
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: TripleA on July 28, 2010, 06:52:56 PM
ITT people in denial.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: TripleA on July 28, 2010, 06:56:35 PM
No, a single mother is too much failure.

But you're a Nintendo fanboy.  Aren't you used to failure?

Are you talking about the same Nintendo that is number 1 in both the videogame console and videogame handheld market
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Eel O'Brian on July 28, 2010, 07:06:29 PM
i have

the initial dating awkwardness lasts about three times longer when there is a child involved, plus the opportunities for snoggery are severely limited

the kid was really cool, though
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: muckhole on July 28, 2010, 07:07:12 PM
I wouldn't. Just not interested in having kids. My friends always would say, "Oh, that'll change, believe me!" but then they always tended to be the ones who already had a kid or two of their own.

Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on July 28, 2010, 07:11:51 PM
I'd date a cheeseburger before I'd date a single mother
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Akala on July 28, 2010, 07:14:03 PM
the worst part about dating a single mother is the inevitable baby daddy drama. it will always be there. 88% of the time anyway. then there is, you know, the kid.

I've dated a few. in my experience it's very low maintenance and awesome for a while, until it's suddenly not.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Bildi on July 28, 2010, 09:28:47 PM
I've entertained the thought with one friend of mine, but she is a kick-ass mother and keeps her two kids under control.  Generally I wouldn't because I hate kids that are not disciplined (ie, most of them).
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: tiesto on July 28, 2010, 09:34:42 PM
Nope, definitely not. For the whole litany of reasons people above posted about:

-"baby daddy" drama
-I don't think I'm at the point in my life where I want to look after and take care of a kid...
-...especially somebody else's kid. I'd much rather the kids come from my genetic stock.
-...and most especially if the kid is a brat
-You know that, at least in the initial stages of dating, you are always the #2 person in the woman's life
-Logistics would be awkward... i.e. you wouldn't be able to go out to a nice dinner if the girl couldn't get anyone to watch over the kid

I'd have no problem getting into a FWB situation with one though.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Cormacaroni on July 28, 2010, 09:45:23 PM
Never did it myself but my roommate in college dated a single mother, so I saw the problems up close on a daily basis. It's just a tough thing to work around unless the man is at the point where he wants a family anyway. 
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: The Fake Shemp on July 28, 2010, 10:59:13 PM
 :lol
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Diunx on July 28, 2010, 11:35:00 PM
Depends on how hot she is.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Beezy on July 29, 2010, 12:07:36 AM
You know what? Yes. If Dexter could do it, so can I. I'd never attempt it while I'm still this young though.

wow

he doesnt like dead rising, just do what i do and disregard everything he says
Yeah, he can eat a dick. I thought he just had shitty tastes in games, but I guess he's just all around shitty.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on July 29, 2010, 08:22:29 AM
I did and don't intend on doing it again.

Although if I remain single until my 30s, it will be inevitable that I will date one again.

The problem was the kid (who was four).  I don't like kids especially and I had to pretend that I cared about all of the kid crap that comes along with parenting.  She was aight but there was some issues with her baby daddy and felt the need to make that baggage a central point of our relationship.  She was older than I was (I was 21 and she was 26) but had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old.  Most women my age are about the same age in maturity but the kid was a catalyst that made things 10x worse.  Even worse is that she wanted me to kick in some financial support.  I didn't make a whole hell of a lot of money and considering she went on bi weekly shopping sprees, that irritated me.

I broke it off when she intentionally started a fight for with her baby daddy on the phone while I was in the room.  The relationship was pretty weak at this point and didn't feel like acting pissed off at some guy I never met.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: huckleberry on July 29, 2010, 08:32:30 AM
I did and ended up marrying her.


Her child was a little over a year old when we started dating and she made it very clear that I wasn't to be a part of his life.  Of course that changed after things between her and I got serious.  She really did handle it well - much better than a couple of other single mothers that I had slept with before. 

Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: huckleberry on July 29, 2010, 09:02:01 AM
26.

Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Skidmark on July 29, 2010, 10:37:04 AM
I did and ended up marrying her.


Her child was a little over a year old when we started dating and she made it very clear that I wasn't to be a part of his life.  Of course that changed after things between her and I got serious.  She really did handle it well - much better than a couple of other single mothers that I had slept with before. 


Do you you have any kids together now? how is the relationship between them and ''her'' kid and how old is he now?
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: huckleberry on July 29, 2010, 01:04:40 PM
We have one child ( a daughter) as well as my stepson.  He is 11 (soon to be 12) and there is no friction at all.  I have always raised him as my own and treat him no differently.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Groogrux on July 30, 2010, 03:03:59 AM
I would.  But I'd get to know the girl really well and date her for a while before I would even meet the kid.  Some kids get attached really easily, and some can come off as shitheads because of previous deadbeat parents or douchebag ex's that have screwed them and their mom over.

It also depends on the age of the kid.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Reb on July 30, 2010, 05:29:00 AM
I would date multiple mothers.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Brehvolution on July 30, 2010, 08:59:03 AM
We have one child ( a daughter) as well as my stepson.  He is 11 (soon to be 12) and there is no friction at all.  I have always raised him as my own and treat him no differently.

:bow A true man.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: naff on July 31, 2010, 02:47:59 AM
I like kids so sure. I wouldn't worry about things like 'what if the kid gets attached' etc. I mean I would think about it and I'd tread with care but it wouldn't ever stop me trying it out.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Bloodwake on July 31, 2010, 09:56:04 AM
Have recently and would again.

She was also nine years my senior. But we had a lot in common. We both were sort of getting over our past relationships. Well, until she decided to give the father one more shot. I really couldn't be mad at her for that. My dad two divorces and each one fucked me up real good. She was really respectful of my feelings. Her and the father both were. It was the least dramatic a situation like that has ever been in my life.

Oh yeah, the father ended up being one of my friends AND someone who worked with me at the liquor store

She still says she's confused though, lol. Who knows what will happen? Oh, I do. BOOZE. that is what will happen.

Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Akala on July 31, 2010, 07:27:30 PM
Have recently and would again.

She was also nine years my senior. But we had a lot in common. We both were sort of getting over our past relationships. Well, until she decided to give the father one more shot. I really couldn't be mad at her for that. My dad two divorces and each one fucked me up real good. She was really respectful of my feelings. Her and the father both were. It was the least dramatic a situation like that has ever been in my life.

Oh yeah, the father ended up being one of my friends AND someone who worked with me at the liquor store

She still says she's confused though, lol. Who knows what will happen? Oh, I do. BOOZE. that is what will happen.



(http://i31.tinypic.com/11tagbo.jpg)
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Bloodwake on August 01, 2010, 08:10:00 PM
The Bore: making my entire life one large internet meme one step at a time.
Title: Re: Would you date a single mother?
Post by: Kestastrophe on August 01, 2010, 10:01:50 PM
We have one child ( a daughter) as well as my stepson.  He is 11 (soon to be 12) and there is no friction at all.  I have always raised him as my own and treat him no differently.

:bow A true man.

:bow

Arde0, a man after my own  :heartbeat I would also like to retract the statement about single moms being inherently crazy. I think they may have some inherent issues due to their situation (and who doesn't have issues), but I don't think that they're crazy. We'll see I guess  ;)