THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Bebpo on May 23, 2011, 11:30:33 PM

Title: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 23, 2011, 11:30:33 PM
Sup, so I've been checking out the online dating scene (aka, okcupid) for a bit in the last few weeks and I've noticed that compared to that last times I seriously attempted using it in 2009 and 2007ish, things are going poorly; or rather, not going at all.

I've been trying to figure out the reason behind this and I've narrowed it down to a few things:
1. I've lost my game - This may be possible, but I never thought I particularly had super game before and I feel like my normal game is the same weird unique style of game as it's always been. 
2. The competition has toughened - back in 2007, barely anyone used online dating, so maybe you were competing against a few dozen guys in the local area.  By 2009 it was probably more like 100, now?  Online dating is off the hook and everyone has an okcupid account like they do a facebook.  A girl goes online and she has several hundred dudes to pick from.
3. I don't have the time - Another possible answer.  Back in the earlier times I'd be on a break and have time to sit around at night and e-mail girls back and forth or chat through aim.  To talk on the phone on the weekends, etc...etc...it was like high school socializing.  Now that I'm actually working I log on for maybe 5 mins every few nights and send out an e-mail or two either to someone or in reply. 
4. I got old - The majority of girls on a dating site tend to be in the 20-24 range.  Those girls put their dating ranges at ~22-26 year old guys.  When I was 24/25 online dating, it was the cool range and people we're down to reply and chat.  When I was 27 it was a little more scarce but people were still sorta ok with replying.  At 29 going on 30 this year, it seems I've entered the "old and creepy" stage where even girls who were 25-27 are feeling you're at the end of their age limit.  I feel like I've entered anime where once you hit 30 you're the "old man" and you're going to die within the first 13eps after teaching the main character some divine knowledge.
5. Message styling changes with age - This combines #1 & #4.  When I was 24 and sending messages to 20 year olds, I could be my goofy fun high-school/college-persona self.  Talking about bowling and pizza, mini-golf and zombie invasions was good times and women would have fun replying back and getting into rolling dialogues about fun silly stuff.  Now, at 29 messaging girls who are 25+, bowling and pizza and zombie invasion messages seem to be met with the stonewall.  No one wants to have silly fun and otoh I don't want to be total serious early on.  I think subconciously I am filtering women to find ones that I could have fun with.  If they reply back to odd-the-wall messages with their own, then hey, this person could be someone I could get along with and have fun together with.  But while that worked at 24 or barely at 27, at going on 30 I think it limits the pool to the point that the pool has eroded into a skateboard park.

So yeah, I think some combination of those is going on and either I'm going to need to change or grow younger, because whatever it is, is making it not work this time around.  I thought growing hotter and having an actual job instead of being a poor student would increase appeal and make things easier; but yeaaaah, not happening.  I think I'm getting too old :X  I need to switch bodies with Green Man.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: naff on May 23, 2011, 11:44:57 PM
Noooo, you look really good bebpo. But pizza and zombie invasions ??? :lol Can't believe that ever worked. Anyway, cool, slightly older (29!? my gf is older than you) good lookin dudes with s2000's surely get babes all the time, all the 'old and creepy' stuff is your own projection. You should prob drop the tween talk - I choose 5. message styling
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Barry Egan on May 23, 2011, 11:47:34 PM
uh you're a lawyer now.  Don't worry about "your game", just say that you're a lawyer out loud in a public place and a pair of panties will land in your mouth.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: naff on May 23, 2011, 11:51:18 PM
just say that you're a lawyer out loud in a public place and a pair of panties will land in your mouth.

I have never heard of or seen this phenomenon
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Human Snorenado on May 23, 2011, 11:52:20 PM
Also, now that you're a lawyer you can afford the good shit.  Buy some primo Bolivian marching powder, rub that shit all over your balls and soon enough the bitches will come sniffin' around.  It's science.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: cool breeze on May 23, 2011, 11:53:37 PM
Sounds like you still want girls when you should be going after women.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: brob on May 23, 2011, 11:54:44 PM
I googled ''ok cupid profile'' and this was what came up http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=BlackroseVerONE

firstly, I'm thinking if this is your competition you shouldn't worry. Secondly, there is a fucking box for 'job' and even one for 'income'. just write "LAWYER" and "FUCKING LAWYER MONEY" and you're golden. :|
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 24, 2011, 12:00:50 AM
Eh, most women don't care about what your job is or what you make.  They're just happy you have a job so you aren't a bum (no offense to bums, I was one for a decade).

Sounds like you still want girls when you should be going after women.

Probably.  But I just want to meet females I can have fun with.  Aka, play pinball or air hockey.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Human Snorenado on May 24, 2011, 12:07:00 AM
Just make sure you hide the fact that you're a filthy weeaboo like it's a case of HIV or something.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 24, 2011, 12:07:54 AM
Noted.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: naff on May 24, 2011, 12:28:53 AM
The fact you speak japanese is cool, but I would generally not talk about gaming and/or cartoons if I were trying to pick up girls, I don't think it's something to really hide, but it's definitely a minority of women that would be even remotely interested in talking about that stuff.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Phoenix Dark on May 24, 2011, 12:35:35 AM
"hi I'm a lawyer"
"wanna fuck me?"

I don't see what the big deal si
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 12:55:42 AM
it's the manchild thing, and you're going after womenchildren. you're an old man now. women dig the maturity thang, especially slightly younger women. try being into the outdoors, cooking, fitness, or building shit instead of nintendo franchises, animu, goofy sci-fi and bored highschooler pastimes! you've LONG passed the age where you can woo them by being a manic pixie dreamboy chock fulla quirk and peter pan imagination adventures. leave that to etoilet.

consider trying a stint in xi or a merc unit. kill a man in a foreign land. the pussy will roll over you like a faintly fishy tide.

also, protip: lie about any latent sidehugging desires. trust me on this.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 01:01:03 AM
seriously, though, you've nailed it: the lovable impulsive doofus charm has a VERY early expiration date with chicks. they want potential brat-siring properties, not a trip on the yellow submarine with captain animu.

edit: unless captain animu is dcharlie, apparently, but he also has some serious hooligan chops.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 01:03:44 AM
let's teach him to take lives. put a killer's edge on him. it'll be like gross pointe blank. he'll be rawdog shaggin' the andie macdowell of legal secretaries within a week.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: drew on May 24, 2011, 01:04:50 AM
the ladies love a guy who cooks and runs, let your hobby come out into the open naturally when you start living with them
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 01:05:57 AM
THAT ALL SAID, i really thought the punchline would be "...is that women get old, too. but not in anime!"
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 24, 2011, 01:17:58 AM
it's the manchild thing, and you're going after womenchildren. you're an old man now. women dig the maturity thang, especially slightly younger women. try being into the outdoors, cooking, fitness, or building shit instead of nintendo franchises, animu, goofy sci-fi and bored highschooler pastimes! you've LONG passed the age where you can woo them by being a manic pixie dreamboy chock fulla quirk and peter pan imagination adventures. leave that to etoilet.

hmmmmm...I like to work out and cooking is fun and I like to drive outdoors.  Not a camper though.  Maybe I should talk more about this stuff and less about nerdy stuff.


Mrs C just dropped a bomba on me though:

In her book, if he wants to weed out the wazzaks - he should go in as captain animu. That way you wipe out all the cockroaches looking to spit out a few bulb headed offsprings and sit on the couch living off Bebpowelfare until messy divorce! She approves of Bebpo going in as captain Animu complete with yellow sub.



Or do this, but I don't think this actually works ;)
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 01:22:20 AM
charlie: i'm just griefin' ya. your contempt for the wonderful world of "desudesudesu" has been pretty apparent!

i think mrs. c is fuckin' with ya. how many otaku did she bed before she fell for your grizzled gaijin charms?

taking my cue from you, i asked the ol' lady myself. madam cruncheon says: "go to a different site! okcupid is trashy and for kids! also, culture has changed and women in their 20s NOW aren't the same as women in their 20s 10 years ago, they're into different things. date your age! women still want to have fun and be silly, they'll listen to your talk about zombies and stuff after you get to know them! don't force your interests on them right away. older women have been burned more and are more hesitant, they're more subtle in feeling you out. be subtle too."

Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 24, 2011, 01:30:43 AM
what doug's wife says is so true, i can't seduce younger women with talk of JIT compilers and type systems anymore as all they care about is probabilistic inference and machine learning algorithms run on huge datasets  :'(
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 01:31:05 AM
you struck a cruel blow against the hopes and dreams of pale white nipponphiles when you took her off the market, mang. :'(
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 24, 2011, 01:40:31 AM
Also there are plenty of 30-something womanchildren who never want to grow up, at least here in Portland
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 01:45:39 AM
and here in seattle, but do you want to date them (i anticipate "yes")
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 24, 2011, 01:52:02 AM
I don't want to date anyone unless and until they somehow signal rejection of me, at which point I retroactively did want to date them since the beginning of time. This is healthy, right?
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Phoenix Dark on May 24, 2011, 02:02:52 AM
dayum, truth bombs exploding left and right in this bitch. but alas, as a young distinguished black fellow on okcupid all I get are messages from fatties saying "i love harry potter too!"
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Human Snorenado on May 24, 2011, 02:12:14 AM
dayum, truth bombs exploding left and right in this bitch. but alas, as a young distinguished black fellow on okcupid all I get are messages from fatties saying "i love harry potter too!"

You should be all up in that shit, mang.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: pilonv1 on May 24, 2011, 02:43:37 AM
Are you working bebpo? Can you go out with some work colleagues? That was much more useful for me. I know it's distinguished mentally-challenged and when everyone says it to you it feels like they're patronising you but just relax and don't act desperate, it's worse than any animu stories you could spurt out.

I used OKC for a while but found that the only people on there were absolute nutters or girls with massively over inflated opinions of themselves due to endless fawning of them by manchildren (which as you mentioned is part of the problem). I found it was better as tool to improve my confidence rather than finding anything meaningful.

I wouldn't worry about the age thing either, there's nearly 6 years between me and the missus and it's never been an issue. I'm sure if you asked her she'd never have dated someone who was 30 when she was 24/25. The age thing on their profiles isn't to get rid of you, it's to get rid of people like Prole and Demi :teehee
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: etiolate on May 24, 2011, 03:15:43 AM
I wish I could give you some advice but I've never had any game and never used a dating site. If I was still single by 30, my plan was to hermit away and devote myself to my work.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: MCD on May 24, 2011, 03:19:16 AM
You are never old till you're dead, Bebpo-kun.

Now go out there and show these "women" creatures who is the law.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Cormacaroni on May 24, 2011, 07:15:30 AM
Didn't Patel drop some awesome knowledge about okcupid etc a while back? It pretty much proved these things were basically useless for most men. Statistically, you are screwed from the outset just by being a guy. Then you add in the fact that most of the profiles are inactive, so the pool of females shrinks yet further. The site is designed to fluff you along just enough to keep using it, but you are basically never going to get any action out of it.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 24, 2011, 07:22:19 AM
Yeah, but you just described life in general.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 24, 2011, 07:37:42 AM
I can expect anything I want, there's nothing stopping me from expecting things. I'd rather expect a tornado or a hailstorm though.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 24, 2011, 08:32:28 AM
what does "getting out there" even mean? I hang out at bars and coffeeshops and have some female friends and quasi-friends I talk to, occasionally we go out for sushi or something, but I don't have any expectation of anything coming out of that.

Normally the way I try to live is that I choose a small set of goals or projects to work on and operationalize them by making a list of actions that will result in steady progress towards the goal. "getting a girlfriend", while it seems like something I'd like to do - though that's already problematic, because "a girlfriend" is a pretty abstract concept, and I don't want to adopt "getting girl X" as a goal because that would probably take me into stalker territory - I have no idea how to operationalize it. I mean, I feel like it's something that's hard to "make" happen, it's not really under my control. I'm afraid if I try to make it happen I'll just make myself more miserable and possibly annoy some women too.

I'd rather focus on projects that have the potential to reinforce my own strength of character rather than undermine it, if that makes sense.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: MCD on May 24, 2011, 09:03:03 AM
Because he is imaginary.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Brehvolution on May 24, 2011, 09:12:43 AM
A lawyer with a hot car does not stay alone for too long. I suspect in a couple weeks we will see a thread of not being able to keep up with all this pussy.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Barry Egan on May 24, 2011, 09:25:28 AM
Didn't Patel drop some awesome knowledge about okcupid etc a while back? It pretty much proved these things were basically useless for most men. Statistically, you are screwed from the outset just by being a guy. Then you add in the fact that most of the profiles are inactive, so the pool of females shrinks yet further. The site is designed to fluff you along just enough to keep using it, but you are basically never going to get any action out of it.

The study also suggested that lawyers who earn six figures receive the vast majority of responses from the womenfolk.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Rman on May 24, 2011, 10:00:56 AM
You'll be fine, Bebpo.  Sounds like you have an issue with confidence.  Dating a lot will help you overcome that. 

While OK cupid is good, I wouldn't make online dating your sole source of meeting women.  Join stuff--adult sports leagues, take dance or cooking classes, etc. 

Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Madrun Badrun on May 24, 2011, 11:30:13 AM
Ain't recursive good looking and not a virgin? Why is there an issue with him?

He has recursive personal problems, and his issues seem to stack up on this board with out ever being resolved. 
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 02:09:26 PM
recursive, whether he knows it or not (probably a twisted self-deprecating combination of the two), is exactly the sort of dude any number of hot geek chicks would MURDER to date if only he could find a way to turn his insanity into something more manipulative and less self-defeating
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mr. Gundam on May 24, 2011, 03:36:27 PM
What about work friends? Do they know anyone? Know that school is over, I'd suggest work or maybe adult sport leagues. Take up some kind of hobby, like fire hooping or kayaking.

seriously, though, you've nailed it: the lovable impulsive doofus charm has a VERY early expiration date with chicks. they want potential brat-siring properties, not a trip on the yellow submarine with captain animu.

edit: unless captain animu is dcharlie, apparently, but he also has some serious hooligan chops.

I've still got my "mecha omg vidya omg yes" personality, but it's just a part of me. I made a point of never coming off that way to women when I was dating, and I sure as hell don't do it with my wife. She knows about it and I've got my time and space to do it, but it's not a big thing that I force on her.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Speaking of "brat-siring," we're officially trying to get preggers now...
[close]
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Phoenix Dark on May 24, 2011, 03:43:01 PM
Name him James Potter Gundam
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mr. Gundam on May 24, 2011, 03:44:49 PM
Name him James Potter Gundam

Jack if it's a boy.
Evelyn if it's a girl.

Still gotta get the wife pregnant first.

Back on topic: Beps, I'd seriously look at getting involved in some sort of activity like hooping or kayaking or an adult kickball league. Loads of late-20s/early-30s professional single women do those things up here.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on May 24, 2011, 03:49:38 PM
Didn't Patel drop some awesome knowledge about okcupid etc a while back? It pretty much proved these things were basically useless for most men. Statistically, you are screwed from the outset just by being a guy. Then you add in the fact that most of the profiles are inactive, so the pool of females shrinks yet further. The site is designed to fluff you along just enough to keep using it, but you are basically never going to get any action out of it.

ironically, it was OKC themselves that ran that science

as someone who met his fiancée on OK Cupid (!), there are ways to make these sites work.

my advice is to drop down the wacky funtimes attitude. you are a LAWYER now, you need to LAWYER UP and make that your dominant personality trait. filter down from there.

remember, the only thing girls like more than a lawyer is a lawyer with a sense of humor who is down to earth. most lawyers are douchebags! but you need to start from TEH MACHOOR and work your way down to "relaxed guy" after 2-3 dates, not start with air hockey and good times.

girls aren't looking for "good times," they're looking to date, and most of them are looking to settle down and start a family at some point. don't let that scare you - the sane ones are happy to date casually and let things work themselves out on a normal timetable.

finally, I think the most important thing is "be yourself" - a cliché, but a true one. what attracted my fiancé and I to each other is that we were both willing to cut through the online bullshit immediately and start having an actual conversation right away before meeting in person soon thereafter. the WORST thing you can do in online dating is "play the odds" by maintaining a white-bread, no-rough-edges persona in order to appeal to as many people as possible. people are attracted to outliers, not the mainstream middle ground. don't be afraid to be yourself (but importantly, you are not your hobbies and your air hockey table)

okay!!

P.S. u r lawyer
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 03:56:39 PM
wife pointed out that trying to initially prove how keeerazy or fun-lovin' or quirky you are smacks of a sell job and thus insecurity.

(yes, you were a topic of cruncheon family discussion last night :-*)
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mr. Gundam on May 24, 2011, 03:58:37 PM
wife pointed out that trying to initially prove how keeerazy or fun-lovin' or quirky you are smacks of a sell job and thus insecurity.

(yes, you were a Topic of cruncheon family discussion last night :-*)

Trying to prove how super serious, successful and mature you are also reeks of insecurity. Gotta learn to walk a fine line between the two.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Madrun Badrun on May 24, 2011, 04:17:28 PM
Bebop is American right?  He could not be a lawyer and still have any woman in Poland.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: tiesto on May 24, 2011, 04:20:43 PM
I could pretend to have advice for you, but if you're a lawyer and you can't get a date WTF

.

You could have any woman in Poland (excluding my wife) with your status, Bebpo.

 :o :o :o
FUCK!!!!!!! I should have gone into law :( :( :(
What do Polish women think of software engineers?

Also Bebpo, I'm not sure if you are looking specifically for a Jewish girl, but there are a lot of them who will only date Jewish dudes. So you can try for that market - a good friend of mine frequently goes to Jewish singles events and speed dating, and does JDate, and meets tons of women from there (but he usually fucks it up by his own incompetence and bad manners). Plus your job is guaranteed to make Jewish girls drop their pants - just watch out for golddigging JAPs!!!

The whole "downplay the gaming/animu" stuff is a double-edged sword. If you want to get more dates and meet a broader swath of people, it's of course good to downplay that element... but if you want an animu/gamer nerd girl, you shouldn't downplay that. And just because a girl is into animu/gaming doesn't necessarily mean she will be the one for you. One of my exes was hardcore into RPGs (she even listed on her Match profile how she liked "Baten Kaitos: Origins" and "Tales of Symphonia"), but it ended since I got bored because games and TV were all she wanted to do (while meanwhile I love my weeaboo stuff but also really into going out to eat, going to concerts, biking, vacations, shooting pool, NYC, etc.). But most of the other girls I dated haven't been into games at all. Though I should have had my Jesus-freak ex play through all the oldskool anti-Christian RPGs - FF Tactics, Xenogears, Grandia 2, etc

Why not try cons? I've had success before in getting numbers, from anyone from the 18 year olds to girls around our age. Being somewhat in shape, having a job, not living in your parents' basement, and not smelling already puts you ahead of 95% of your competition there.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Brehvolution on May 24, 2011, 04:26:18 PM

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Speaking of "brat-siring," we're officially trying to get preggers now...
[close]

If you want a girl, do it in bed.

If you want a boy, make up sex on the couch after an argument.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on May 24, 2011, 04:30:20 PM
One more important point:

Any serious relationship means compromise. Some big, some small. You are not going to always get your way. You are going to change and ideally you are going to want that change.

If you look for a relationship thinking that your life is perfect as is and you're "not going to change for anyone!" you are going to die alone. It doesn't matter if your hobby is videogaming or body building.

Girls don't just want you; they want you in a relationship. If you are not willing to commit to anything larger than yourself, women will know and they will not want anything to do with you. They will know.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: cool breeze on May 24, 2011, 04:53:42 PM
or hide the rubber bands


(btw, good luck to Mr. Gundam)
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mupepe on May 24, 2011, 04:54:24 PM
crazy chicks are hot.  Nail some.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on May 24, 2011, 04:56:23 PM
Gundam name your child Kamille.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: cool breeze on May 24, 2011, 05:03:08 PM
why do you support child abuse, himuro  ???
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Phoenix Dark on May 24, 2011, 05:07:46 PM
I just want to know when we can expect Rygar II
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: tiesto on May 24, 2011, 05:09:28 PM
why do you support child abuse, himuro  ???

Personally I like the name "Camille" a lot. Certainly more than all the Ashleighs and Kayleighs and the different spellings of traditional names that seem so trendy nowadays.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on May 24, 2011, 05:09:59 PM
I just want to know when we can expect Rygar II

He got the snip, dude. Never.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on May 24, 2011, 05:11:02 PM
why do you support child abuse, himuro  ???

Personally I like the name "Camille" a lot. Certainly more than all the Ashleighs and Kayleighs and the different spellings of traditional names that seem so trendy nowadays.

If only naming boys Ashley was in again.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Phoenix Dark on May 24, 2011, 05:15:34 PM
Might as well adopt one for a business tax write off or something!
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on May 24, 2011, 05:19:13 PM
I just want to know when we can expect Rygar II

You and IGN (http://ps2.ign.com/objects/690/690625.html) both, man.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 24, 2011, 05:35:23 PM
as someone who met his fiancée on OK Cupid (!)...

Wait, wait wait.  When did this happen??!?  OMGGGGG, Congratulations!!!!   :elephant :elephant :elephant :elephant
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on May 24, 2011, 05:38:30 PM
I just want to know when we can expect Rygar II

He got the snip, dude. Never.
That never happened!  But seriously, never.

Oh, I remember you contemplating getting the snip before, so I assumed you did it by now.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Human Snorenado on May 24, 2011, 05:51:49 PM
One more important point:

Any serious relationship means compromise. Some big, some small. You are not going to always get your way. You are going to change and ideally you are going to want that change.

If you look for a relationship thinking that your life is perfect as is and you're "not going to change for anyone!" you are going to die alone. It doesn't matter if your hobby is videogaming or body building.

Girls don't just want you; they want you in a relationship. If you are not willing to commit to anything larger than yourself, women will know and they will not want anything to do with you. They will know.

I really can't emphasize this enough, especially the bolded last part there.  Aside from the lazy, chubby, smartass yet somehow a human avatar of doubt thing I've got going on, the essential reason I'm perpetually single is that I honestly have no interest in compromising myself for anyone.  I'm essentially Stalin in a relationship- I don't give a fuck how many people have to die, I'm getting my way.  Which is why I've kind of stopped looking for a mate.  Either I'll change or I'll die alone, and honestly I'm fine with either.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on May 24, 2011, 06:02:07 PM
One more important point:

Any serious relationship means compromise. Some big, some small. You are not going to always get your way. You are going to change and ideally you are going to want that change.

If you look for a relationship thinking that your life is perfect as is and you're "not going to change for anyone!" you are going to die alone. It doesn't matter if your hobby is videogaming or body building.

Girls don't just want you; they want you in a relationship. If you are not willing to commit to anything larger than yourself, women will know and they will not want anything to do with you. They will know.

I really can't emphasize this enough, especially the bolded last part there.  Aside from the lazy, chubby, smartass yet somehow a human avatar of doubt thing I've got going on, the essential reason I'm perpetually single is that I honestly have no interest in compromising myself for anyone.  I'm essentially Stalin in a relationship- I don't give a fuck how many people have to die, I'm getting my way.  Which is why I've kind of stopped looking for a mate.  Either I'll change or I'll die alone, and honestly I'm fine with either.

Yeah, I mean, if you understand that - and accept that - that is totally cool! I have single friends who have decided they are going to go their own way (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GN2kpBoFs4) for the rest of their earthbound lives, and that is fine. But Forever Alone on your own terms is very different from Forever Alone and you don't know why.

Now to talk you down off that ledge, at the risk of repeating AA clichés: "one day at a time." You get to know someone before you date them. You date someone casually before you date them seriously. You date someone seriously before you date them long-term. You date someone long-term before you get engaged, married, start a family, etc. etc. Every step is built upon the ones before it, and you shouldn't be worrying about about Stage 8-4 when you can't even beat 1-3 yet. So to speak.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2009/03/26/bottle-rocket-criterion-not.jpg)
[close]

One more thing: most sensible girls will allow you your own space and your own hobbies, including (non-creepy) games or anime. It just can't be all encompassing, and when they "give you your space", that means you keep it in your space and don't insist on telling them all about the latest plot twists of Dragon Age II. That usually goes over about as well as a cat dropping a dead bird on your doorstep. Keep your hobbies - but keep them hobbies.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: bork on May 24, 2011, 06:14:52 PM
Now to talk you down off that ledge, at the risk of repeating AA clichés: "one day at a time." You get to know someone before you date them. You date someone casually before you date them seriously. You date someone seriously before you date them long-term. You date someone long-term before you get engaged, married, start a family, etc. etc. Every step is built upon the ones before it, and you shouldn't be worrying about about Stage 8-4 when you can't even beat 1-3 yet. So to speak.

Yes, Bepbo, I take it from this thread you haven't had many relationships or it's been a long, long time...but don't rush into anything.  I have seen people I know do this and the result isn't pretty.  One guy I've known for a long time has been married once or twice and just recently proposed to his FIFTH fiancee after a whopping three months of dating.  Long-distance.

Of course most of the stuff posted in this thread has all been common sense anyway.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on May 24, 2011, 06:17:39 PM
also, like Prole said, you need real world hobbies as well so your girlfriend, when queried, doesn't have to say "arguing Final Fantasy" or "Dreamcast"

"arguing Dreamcast would have been a success if it had Final Fantasy"
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 06:20:21 PM
wife pointed out that trying to initially prove how keeerazy or fun-lovin' or quirky you are smacks of a sell job and thus insecurity.

(yes, you were a Topic of cruncheon family discussion last night :-*)

Trying to prove how super serious, successful and mature you are also reeks of insecurity. Gotta learn to walk a fine line between the two.

hence don't talk about yourself as though you're trying to sell something
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on May 24, 2011, 06:20:32 PM
And remember: if you have to explain why a game or anime isn't creepy, it is creepy.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 24, 2011, 06:25:18 PM
I think this thread is getting ahead of itself.

I don't really have a problem with those bigger things.  Or at least I don't know that I have a problem with those things yet.  The only times I've actually met women in person, things have usually gone well and I've never had a girl reject me after a date because any of those things go wrong or turn the girl off.  They tend to think I'm a cool sexy dude with a sense of humor who is kind.

No, the problem I have is that I'm not even getting a 1st or 2nd e-mail out of people these days and so I can't get a face-to-face date to see how things gel.  Back in the day I'd always get a few e-mails or chats in with a girl and usually if we didn't meet it'd be because I'd lose interest and stop replying.  This is the area I need to work on, the very very very early initial meet.

Also about work, I can't meet anyone through there because I work for a family firm with my brother and my dad and our paralegals (married older women) and receptionist (married older woman).  There are other attorneys that we work with sometimes but every attorney in my dad's law building is 60-70 years old.  There is literally no age 20-40 men/woman to go socialize with in my job.

As for joining clubs to meet people.  I probably give in and try going to one or two club events in the local paper and see what's going on.  I need to start doing that for networking purposes for my job anyhow.  What I need to do is join the local democrat party so I can get into politics, but I'll need to search how to even find them and join.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: bork on May 24, 2011, 06:28:11 PM
Quote
also, like Prole said, you need real world hobbies as well so your girlfriend, when queried, doesn't have to say "arguing Final Fantasy" or "Dreamcast"

Japanese women just come straight out and ask :

1) what is your job
2) where do you live
3) what is your hobby

Yup.   :lol  But Bebpo knows this, I'm sure.

Quote
In my brief spell of singledom this became mechanical when out in bars. Would be introduced to some approaching late 20's (probably actually 40) Japanese woman - i'd rattle off the first two and then the third one was always "writting music, playing futsal". Whilst i wasn't particularly looking for anyone i'm pretty sure "vidyagames" would have nuked any chance with any girl.

In this day and age?  Nah.  Lots of nerdy girls out there, too.  My wife has zero interest in video games, but it was never an issue with us.  When we were dating I kept it as a hobby (as it should be) and never brought that stuff into dates, took her to game centers, or blew off dates to go buy some new release.  If you have a personality, are willing to try new things, and can carry a conversation, none of this shit matters.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on May 24, 2011, 06:28:40 PM
you don't want to date career politicians, trust me

if you are just worried about the approach (for now) then as previously mentioned:

1. Lawyer up
2. Vidya down
3. Be yourself, not fun-times Poochie

(http://images.wikia.com/simpsons/images/0/09/Poochie.gif)
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: bork on May 24, 2011, 06:30:52 PM
He's gotta keep his hobby under control, yeah, but if he likes video games that much, that is part of being himself.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: tiesto on May 24, 2011, 06:33:00 PM
Also make sure to remove your Yoko from Guren Laagen bodypillow from your bed when your girlfriend comes over. (this happened to a friend of mine, she complained about the body pillow, but complained even more about the Avril Lavigne posters in his room)

Music I find is a great hobby to talk about. Most girls don't have much of a clue about the genres I listen to, but a ton of chicks ask about my DJing (which I play up on my profile).
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 24, 2011, 06:34:24 PM
Dude, I don't even mention games or anime to women until like way down the line when they are comfortable with it and I try to get them to play a game of pinball or watch a Ghibli movie.  My Otakuness isn't the problem!

Quote
also, like Prole said, you need real world hobbies as well so your girlfriend, when queried, doesn't have to say "arguing Final Fantasy" or "Dreamcast"

Japanese women just come straight out and ask :

1) what is your job
2) where do you live
3) what is your hobby

Yup.   :lol  But Bebpo knows this, I'm sure.


Actually I've never been on a date with anyone other than a standard a white caucasian girl.  Not that I have anything against other types of girls, but it's just never happened.  When I was living in Japan the only date I went on was with the white Irish JET in the next town over.  I'm open to date anyone, though.  So I'll see what happens in the future.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Human Snorenado on May 24, 2011, 06:35:05 PM
One more important point:

Any serious relationship means compromise. Some big, some small. You are not going to always get your way. You are going to change and ideally you are going to want that change.

If you look for a relationship thinking that your life is perfect as is and you're "not going to change for anyone!" you are going to die alone. It doesn't matter if your hobby is videogaming or body building.

Girls don't just want you; they want you in a relationship. If you are not willing to commit to anything larger than yourself, women will know and they will not want anything to do with you. They will know.

I really can't emphasize this enough, especially the bolded last part there.  Aside from the lazy, chubby, smartass yet somehow a human avatar of doubt thing I've got going on, the essential reason I'm perpetually single is that I honestly have no interest in compromising myself for anyone.  I'm essentially Stalin in a relationship- I don't give a fuck how many people have to die, I'm getting my way.  Which is why I've kind of stopped looking for a mate.  Either I'll change or I'll die alone, and honestly I'm fine with either.

Yeah, I mean, if you understand that - and accept that - that is totally cool! I have single friends who have decided they are going to go their own way (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GN2kpBoFs4) for the rest of their earthbound lives, and that is fine. But Forever Alone on your own terms is very different from Forever Alone and you don't know why.

Now to talk you down off that ledge, at the risk of repeating AA clichés: "one day at a time." You get to know someone before you date them. You date someone casually before you date them seriously. You date someone seriously before you date them long-term. You date someone long-term before you get engaged, married, start a family, etc. etc. Every step is built upon the ones before it, and you shouldn't be worrying about about Stage 8-4 when you can't even beat 1-3 yet. So to speak.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
(http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2009/03/26/bottle-rocket-criterion-not.jpg)
[close]

One more thing: most sensible girls will allow you your own space and your own hobbies, including (non-creepy) games or anime. It just can't be all encompassing, and when they "give you your space", that means you keep it in your space and don't insist on telling them all about the latest plot twists of Dragon Age II. That usually goes over about as well as a cat dropping a dead bird on your doorstep. Keep your hobbies - but keep them hobbies.

This is all sensible advice.  My problem is that every girl (quite literally EVERY GIRL) I've ever made it into the "6-12 month long serious dating let's learn all about each other" stage has been either been a) batshit insane or more commonly b) had some sort of horrible thing happen in her life that she can't get past that interferes with her ability to be in a relationship thus pretty much dooming us sort of thing.  I won't get into the nitty gritty details because they're not mine to give, but suffice to say I probably excrete some sort of pheremone that screams "girls with serious emotional issues, DATE THIS GUY!!!" and I've sort of callously assumed at this point that all women are, in fact, fucking bonkers and while I enjoy some of the shallower things associated with being in a relationship (sex!small talk!fuck, even cuddling!) connecting on a deeper emotional-mental level with people that appear to be all OMG BATSHIT INSANE or victims of terrible happenstance/predation and unable to cope with it is noooooooot for me.  So I jerk off and have a dog for companionship.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: bork on May 24, 2011, 06:35:07 PM
Just don't be like this guy and you're set:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=27997277&postcount=119
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Human Snorenado on May 24, 2011, 06:38:12 PM
:lol fucking gaf
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: chronovore on May 24, 2011, 06:39:15 PM
Quote
edit: unless captain animu is dcharlie, apparently, but he also has some serious hooligan chops.

i may live in Japan and i like the odd Japanese game, but i've no interest in the animu world or the great big land of Desudesudesudesu.

I'm not some chick magnet - i've had long term girlfriends since my midteens and approximately 4 months of being single from 15 until my ripe old ball age of 36 (which is depressing in a certain light, but i don't really care). All of them came from chatting to them and converting from friend to girlfriend. I'm an ugly f*ck, but it doesn't matter when you have wit and charm (which i import via the power of vodka and/or turps)

Mrs C just dropped a bomba on me though:

In her book, if he wants to weed out the wazzaks - he should go in as captain animu. That way you wipe out all the cockroaches looking to spit out a few bulb headed offsprings and sit on the couch living off Bebpowelfare until messy divorce! She approves of Bebpo going in as captain Animu complete with yellow sub.



DC, you're a handsome guy, but your charm is actually in your wit, which you manage to manifest in person as readily as you do in text. It's the wit that's key, I think.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: magus on May 24, 2011, 07:02:57 PM
aww it's nice to see you guys all buddie-buddie :heart

Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Boogie on May 24, 2011, 07:09:27 PM
I think this thread is getting ahead of itself.

I don't really have a problem with those bigger things.  Or at least I don't know that I have a problem with those things yet.  The only times I've actually met women in person, things have usually gone well and I've never had a girl reject me after a date because any of those things go wrong or turn the girl off.  They tend to think I'm a cool sexy dude with a sense of humor who is kind.

No, the problem I have is that I'm not even getting a 1st or 2nd e-mail out of people these days and so I can't get a face-to-face date to see how things gel.  Back in the day I'd always get a few e-mails or chats in with a girl and usually if we didn't meet it'd be because I'd lose interest and stop replying.  This is the area I need to work on, the very very very early initial meet.

Also about work, I can't meet anyone through there because I work for a family firm with my brother and my dad and our paralegals (married older women) and receptionist (married older woman).  There are other attorneys that we work with sometimes but every attorney in my dad's law building is 60-70 years old.  There is literally no age 20-40 men/woman to go socialize with in my job.

As for joining clubs to meet people.  I probably give in and try going to one or two club events in the local paper and see what's going on.  I need to start doing that for networking purposes for my job anyhow.  What I need to do is join the local democrat party so I can get into politics, but I'll need to search how to even find them and join.

Yeah, it's the difficulty of getting your "foot in the door", or the avenues for meeting women, which I think can get tough for some people the farther out from college one gets.  Fewer ways of meeting women when you don't have regular access to easy social situations, and if the environment isn't conducive to meeting people through work or friends.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: bud on May 24, 2011, 07:09:40 PM
the problem with women is... me.

i'm walking down the street and i look at this pretty girl. she smiles at me. now, what do i do? do i smile back? no, i look away and keep walking like nothing just happened. what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCKKKK. when i came back home, i lied on my bed for about twenty thinking about what just happened.

i have so much potential (lol), but i just... :'(
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Vizzys on May 24, 2011, 07:15:02 PM
forever alone
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: chronovore on May 24, 2011, 07:26:30 PM
One more important point:

Any serious relationship means compromise. Some big, some small. You are not going to always get your way. You are going to change and ideally you are going to want that change.

If you look for a relationship thinking that your life is perfect as is and you're "not going to change for anyone!" you are going to die alone. It doesn't matter if your hobby is videogaming or body building.

Girls don't just want you; they want you in a relationship. If you are not willing to commit to anything larger than yourself, women will know and they will not want anything to do with you. They will know.

troof spake
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on May 24, 2011, 07:55:52 PM
I think Bebpo will get it figured out:

- He's a lawyer: probably the profession with the highest status out there barring professional athlete or doctor
- He's a good looking guy: self explanatory
- He has a good personality

Once he ditches professing his love for Uguu Pantsuu-kun 3 and games of those ilk, I think he will do fine.  If he likes the profession, his personality will adjust to that profession.  I don't know too many successful manchildren in the GAF vein: most professionals will turn into professionals just because of the personality that it requires to be successful.

I'm kind of entering into a precarious position myself.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: cool breeze on May 24, 2011, 08:26:05 PM
Quote
In this day and age?  Nah.  Lots of nerdy girls out there, too.


I never dated a nerdy girl until the wife and i didn't particularly want to - i always dated someone different so that we'd have differing interestes. So i tended to be looking for generally independent women who were interesting.

wait, so dating a nerdy girl turned out to be a good thing? that always seems like a nightmare situation because I understand the nerd mentality and want no part of it (in real life; I'm happy to indulge online).

To be clear, I mean overtly nerdy.  I've visited an anime club before and it was literally hell.  Say I decide to be evil and do unspeakable evils for many years, then die riding a nuclear bomb into the moon, which would somehow end all life on Earth, and heaven and hell turned out to be real--I'd end up in an anime club for an eternity.  Because as much as I come off as a tard fagot nerd here, I rarely if ever talk about this stuff in real life.  But if I ever manage to meet someone who is also ashamed of their video game hobby, I'd be down for that.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on May 24, 2011, 08:29:29 PM
I never talk to friends or anyone for that matter actually about video games.  It's one of the main reasons why I still frequent online forums: I can talk about the stupidest, nerdiest shit without getting too much flak for it.  At age 26, if I were to talk about playing a loli RPG on my PSP, I'd probably get cast out of the group.  The older I get, the more secretive I am about gaming.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: cool breeze on May 24, 2011, 08:37:12 PM
haha pretty much.  the rare times I do task about video games, it's extremely broad and uncertain.  "I heard", "I think", "One time I", "When I was younger", etc.  I do have a god hand ringtone for one person on my mobile, though.  Though if anyone recognized it, I'd be ok with them.

to go off something lyte edge said earlier about playing video games being part of 'yourself', I disagree and apply that to any hobby.  A hobby shouldn't define who you are.  Maybe you like that hobby because of other aspects of your personality, but the hobby itself is just something you occasionally do and it isn't worth obsessing over.

It's like that scene in Black Swan (spoiler just in case)
spoiler (click to show/hide)
when Natalie Portman's character is enthusiastically talking about ballet and the guys don't care
[close]
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: tiesto on May 24, 2011, 09:02:06 PM
I have a number of people I can talk about games with, so I don't feel the need to talk about Professor Prole's Panty Patrol 358/2: Neo Duodecium Hyper Wave Fighting, or any games for that matter, with most people. If I run into people talking about Call of Dudebro or some random American game I don't care about, I just act like I don't know anything.

The few Animu club meetings at my college were awkward and weird, but that was before the genre had its big break in the US... so I don't know what they are like now, I imagine they haven't changed too much. I don't mind participating in geek events though, weird people don't creep me out much *shrug*

About that Black Swan scene:
spoiler (click to show/hide)
a girl with Natalie Portman's looks could talk about watching paint dry and horny guys will hang on to her every word...
[close]
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mr. Gundam on May 24, 2011, 09:05:34 PM
My friends know that I like giant robots and play animu weirdo games, but no one cares. When we hang out, we talk about craft beer, indie rock, our wives, politics, sports and hiking.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: bork on May 24, 2011, 09:50:11 PM


wait, so dating a nerdy girl turned out to be a good thing? that always seems like a nightmare situation because I understand the nerd mentality and want no part of it (in real life; I'm happy to indulge online).

To be clear, I mean overtly nerdy.  I've visited an anime club before and it was literally hell.  Say I decide to be evil and do unspeakable evils for many years, then die riding a nuclear bomb into the moon, which would somehow end all life on Earth, and heaven and hell turned out to be real--I'd end up in an anime club for an eternity.  Because as much as I come off as a tard fagot nerd here, I rarely if ever talk about this stuff in real life.  But if I ever manage to meet someone who is also ashamed of their video game hobby, I'd be down for that.

Well, I'd imagine that you'd want to meet someone as nerdy as yourself...hooking up with someone even nerdier isn't gonna be the best idea.  If you were into those stupid anime clubs, you'd probably think different.  That is, assuming the females there are remotely attractive.   :lol  I'm not one for the animu meet-ups either.  I was scarred for life by that shit when I worked at a game store. 

haha pretty much.  the rare times I do task about video games, it's extremely broad and uncertain.  "I heard", "I think", "One time I", "When I was younger", etc.  I do have a god hand ringtone for one person on my mobile, though.  Though if anyone recognized it, I'd be ok with them.

I only talk about video games with the people I know or meet that are also interested in them.  I don't see what the problem is here. 

Quote
to go off something lyte edge said earlier about playing video games being part of 'yourself', I disagree and apply that to any hobby.  A hobby shouldn't define who you are.  Maybe you like that hobby because of other aspects of your personality, but the hobby itself is just something you occasionally do and it isn't worth obsessing over.

But the keyword is "part."  It's a part of yourself, not everything.  I'm not saying your hobby defines you...I'm saying that it shouldn't be something to ashamed over or hide from others.  If someone looks down on you because you like some fucking video games, they have a problem.

My friends know that I like giant robots and play animu weirdo games, but no one cares. When we hang out, we talk about craft beer, indie rock, our wives, politics, sports and hiking.

Yup.  I don't always hang out with fellow nerds, and I have plenty to talk about.

I don't think video games and anime and whatnot are the problem here.  It's a lack of social skills that is the issue for those "weirdos."
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Cormacaroni on May 24, 2011, 09:58:07 PM
Quote
also, like Prole said, you need real world hobbies as well so your girlfriend, when queried, doesn't have to say "arguing Final Fantasy" or "Dreamcast"

Japanese women just come straight out and ask :

1) what is your job
2) where do you live
3) what is your hobby

and from this they can deduce how much you earn and whether you are a mad axe murderer.

In my brief spell of singledom this became mechanical when out in bars. Would be introduced to some approaching late 20's (probably actually 40) Japanese woman - i'd rattle off the first two and then the third one was always "writting music, playing futsal". Whilst i wasn't particularly looking for anyone i'm pretty sure "vidyagames" would have nuked any chance with any girl.

My disasterous opening gambit with my now wife : "Oh you play games? *rolleyes* let me guess... puzzle bobble and Tetris?"

She reminded me of this today - what a twat i am.


uhhh, 1) is usually 'Do you have a girlfriend'
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 24, 2011, 10:49:12 PM
I talk about games irl with one or two friends, but most of my friends are like "videogames...what?" and so we talk about movies, the internet, and other aspects of life.

Anyhow, I'm going to take the advice in this thread to heart and re-write my profile now.  The thing about Okcupid is that under "JOB" it doesn't list lawyer, only "law/legal services" and I don't want to be like I AM AN ATTORNEY FOR A LIVING because that sounds bad.  So I dunno how to drop that somewhere in the profile haha.  Which is why I want to meet girls who I don't need to tell them I'm a lawyer for them to start talking with me :X
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Cormacaroni on May 24, 2011, 10:50:05 PM
Quote
uhhh, 1) is usually 'Do you have a girlfriend'

oh yeah - i guess it is. Then again, it doesn't really seem to be that important to a lot of people (or at least didn't)


also true
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 10:58:18 PM
I never talk to friends or anyone for that matter actually about video games.  It's one of the main reasons why I still frequent online forums: I can talk about the stupidest, nerdiest shit without getting too much flak for it.  At age 26, if I were to talk about playing a loli RPG on my PSP, I'd probably get cast out of the group.  The older I get, the more secretive I am about gaming.

damn straight. i'm here because i daren't talk about this shit save with close supernerd friends -- and geek forums.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: cool breeze on May 24, 2011, 11:00:00 PM
Well, I'd imagine that you'd want to meet someone as nerdy as yourself...hooking up with someone even nerdier isn't gonna be the best idea.  If you were into those stupid anime clubs, you'd probably think different.  That is, assuming the females there are remotely attractive.   :lol  I'm not one for the animu meet-ups either.  I was scarred for life by that shit when I worked at a game store. 

I only talk about video games with the people I know or meet that are also interested in them.  I don't see what the problem is here. 

But the keyword is "part."  It's a part of yourself, not everything.  I'm not saying your hobby defines you...I'm saying that it shouldn't be something to ashamed over or hide from others.  If someone looks down on you because you like some fucking video games, they have a problem.

The ashamed part is mostly a joke (mostly); I do post on gaf, after all.  I certainly don't want it to be a first impression, and the times I do talk about it, I definitely water down my knowhow.  I don't consider it to be hiding it because I won't deny that I play video games, but I also won't start go asking "do you play video games?"  I don't remember if I did emphasize that this is in public and mostly with newer people.  Closer friends are aware of my hobbies, but even then I don't go full nerd.  GAF and evilbore are my catharsis for this stuff.  I generally try not to be too personal or serious on forums because they are entertainment.  I'm describing this poorly and it must come off as incredibly shallow or something.

though, I don't deny that I too would look down on someone for their interests.  If my first impression of someone is "Want to go see Eat Pray Love? we can take my Nissan Cube and blast Nickleback," it would take an awful lot to return to neutral.   
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 24, 2011, 11:26:37 PM
The thing about Okcupid is every once in a while you run across a profile that renews your faith in the whole online dating scene.  You run into someone who is a perfect match and you never would have met someone like that without the use of the internet.

...then they never reply and it makes it even worse because you never would have known about them! :( 

double-edged sword; double-edged sword, my friends.


Note, this is not a true story.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I haven't messaged her yet  :-*
[close]
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: tiesto on May 24, 2011, 11:28:18 PM
Well, I'd imagine that you'd want to meet someone as nerdy as yourself...hooking up with someone even nerdier isn't gonna be the best idea.  If you were into those stupid anime clubs, you'd probably think different.  That is, assuming the females there are remotely attractive.   :lol  I'm not one for the animu meet-ups either.  I was scarred for life by that shit when I worked at a game store. 

I only talk about video games with the people I know or meet that are also interested in them.  I don't see what the problem is here. 

But the keyword is "part."  It's a part of yourself, not everything.  I'm not saying your hobby defines you...I'm saying that it shouldn't be something to ashamed over or hide from others.  If someone looks down on you because you like some fucking video games, they have a problem.

The ashamed part is mostly a joke (mostly); I do post on gaf, after all.  I certainly don't want it to be a first impression, and the times I do talk about it, I definitely water down my knowhow.  I don't consider it to be hiding it because I won't deny that I play video games, but I also won't start go asking "do you play video games?"  I don't remember if I did emphasize that this is in public and mostly with newer people.  Closer friends are aware of my hobbies, but even then I don't go full nerd.  GAF and evilbore are my catharsis for this stuff.  I generally try not to be too personal or serious on forums because they are entertainment.  I'm describing this poorly and it must come off as incredibly shallow or something.

though, I don't deny that I too would look down on someone for their interests.  If my first impression of someone is "Want to go see Eat Pray Love? we can take my Nissan Cube and blast Nickleback," it would take an awful lot to return to neutral.   

I went on a date or two with a girl with a Nissan Cube before...

...which had a license plate of "HYRULE". She was a huge fan of the Zelda games. Was decent looking but I got serious with my now current g/f so things didn't go anywhere.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 24, 2011, 11:57:48 PM
i kinda want a nissan cube :supergay
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Trent Dole on May 25, 2011, 12:23:57 AM
Also make sure to remove your Yoko from Guren Laagen bodypillow from your bed when your girlfriend comes over. (this happened to a friend of mine, she complained about the body pillow, but complained even more about the Avril Lavigne posters in his room)

Music I find is a great hobby to talk about. Most girls don't have much of a clue about the genres I listen to, but a ton of chicks ask about my DJing (which I play up on my profile).
I wonder how people can get no lovin' and then I hear stories like this.  :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mr. Gundam on May 25, 2011, 12:23:58 AM
i kinda want a nissan cube :supergay


...

WTF MAN? You used to be cool.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 25, 2011, 12:54:13 AM
Alright, re-wrote my profile and pretty happy with it.  What I notice though is if your profile is old it doesn't pop up much when people are just browsing around, so gotta be more active!
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: brob on May 25, 2011, 01:22:31 AM
I've always thought this "I only talk about games with such and such people" to be a bit odd. I mean, I'm not going to start a conversation with someone about a subject they don't know/care about - shit's absurd. Like, I have about 100GB of eastern European animated shorts on my hdd but why would I ever tell anyone? has nothing to do with shame, it's just not something people would care about, just like I don't give a shit about a particular brand of nail polish taking a particular color out of their line-up (a subject I spent an evening this weekend pretending to listen to). Same about games, football, boxing, skateboarding, etc.

Find a girl with a band t-shirt and talk about music. makes life much easier.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: brob on May 25, 2011, 02:21:50 AM
grunge t-shirts are easy. Not as easy as emo pop, but a good second.  :tophat
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 25, 2011, 02:55:08 AM
/me about post-Radiohead, post-90s music: "who???"

Like sports, it's not one of my stronger subjects.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Herr Mafflard on May 25, 2011, 05:40:39 AM
Quote
In the UK you'd always get some ass hat who wanted to run their mouth off. But hey - i've got many strings in my bow. One posser was constantly going on about how i should get a real hobby or take up a "man's activity" :/ He invited me as a joke to make up the numbers in a 5-a-side football game and expected me to be a useless nerd. The hilarity of watch his face drop as i ran riot against their pretty boy yet only mildly skilled arses. I'M IN UR PRESHUSH SPORT RUINING UR INFLATED EGO. OH LOOKIT! TEH BALL IS IN UR NET AGAIN, SORRY. CAREFUL UR BACK WHEN RETRIEVING!

:rofl :bow

i can relate to this, especially during my college years
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mupepe on May 25, 2011, 12:49:55 PM
90% of my friends are into video games or at least tolerate the subject because they have equally nerdy interests.  I never mention it to the other 10% which usually consists of work friends, family friends and friends of friends.

I never used to mention it to women until I got to know them.  Then they were usually surprised about how nerdy I was.  I'll never forget this one time I had a girl over and i decided to play some FF8.  She was laying on my bed and I was playing it in my room.  She looks at me and says "So what are we doing this weekend?"  I look at her and say "baby, you're looking at it."  It didn't last long.

I eventually converted my wife to my ways.  She's way nerdier than she used to be.  And while she might not be into my stuff, she will listen to me and surprisingly pay attention.  I tell her about what's coming out and what systems I like and why I like those systems and blah blah blah.  And she'll absorb it into some small part of her mind for later reference when I bring it up again.  God bless her for it.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: tiesto on May 25, 2011, 01:29:31 PM
I never used to mention it to women until I got to know them.  Then they were usually surprised about how nerdy I was.  I'll never forget this one time I had a girl over and i decided to play some FF8.  She was laying on my bed and I was playing it in my room.  She looks at me and says "So what are we doing this weekend?"  I look at her and say "baby, you're looking at it."  It didn't last long.

FF8? Can't say I blame her...  :P

The girls I've shown my 'man cave' to always remark on my NES and they are like "does it work? Yeah? That's soooo kewl!!!!1!11!11". Then we play Mario 1 and have hot steamy sex on the couch.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 25, 2011, 01:46:05 PM
Yeah, I've run into that situation as well.  But more that they find the videogame boring and hot steamy sex sounds more appealing so they transition to that.

Would be cool if they actually enjoyed the gaming.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mupepe on May 25, 2011, 01:56:24 PM
I never used to mention it to women until I got to know them.  Then they were usually surprised about how nerdy I was.  I'll never forget this one time I had a girl over and i decided to play some FF8.  She was laying on my bed and I was playing it in my room.  She looks at me and says "So what are we doing this weekend?"  I look at her and say "baby, you're looking at it."  It didn't last long.

FF8? Can't say I blame her...  :P

The girls I've shown my 'man cave' to always remark on my NES and they are like "does it work? Yeah? That's soooo kewl!!!!1!11!11". Then we play Mario 1 and have hot steamy sex on the couch.

FF8 is the best FF :D

Okay maybe 6 is.

Or XI or Tactics but should we count non numbered FF's and online FF's?

Either way, my man cave has always been my main entertainment room since I've mostly been single and alone.  I never cared enough to try to hide anything from my living room.  I never usually got comments on any of my systems or games, but I did get them on my Bioshock Big Daddy figurine, movies posters and big movie collections.  They'd usually pick a movie out and we'd watch part and then we'd transition to steamy sex.  I've never been able to pull off the game -> sex transition because it's usually me playing the game and I'm too into it  :-[
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 25, 2011, 02:03:49 PM
I've always thought this "I only talk about games with such and such people" to be a bit odd. I mean, I'm not going to start a conversation with someone about a subject they don't know/care about - shit's absurd. Like, I have about 100GB of eastern European animated shorts on my hdd but why would I ever tell anyone? has nothing to do with shame, it's just not something people would care about, just like I don't give a shit about a particular brand of nail polish taking a particular color out of their line-up (a subject I spent an evening this weekend pretending to listen to). Same about games, football, boxing, skateboarding, etc. 

Yeah, this. I dunno why the rest of you are making things so complicated.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mupepe on May 25, 2011, 02:15:48 PM
Kinda like this...

Person: So what have you been up to?
Me: Not much.  Hanging out, nothing big.

In reality...

Person: So what have you been up to?
Me: Not much.  Played Red Dead Redemption for about 4 hours Saturday.  Shit was hard.  The military wanted me to escort this train of supplies to the troops, but it had to go through rebel territory.  Shit was hard.  Then a few jobs later, the fucking rebels wanted me to sabotage a train full of supplies and the military was curb stomping my ass hard.  Had to use the gatlin gun.  Then I pretty much made a few hot dogs and marathoned the Harry Potter movies in anticipation of part 2 coming out.  You?

The first is what I say to most people.  The 2nd is what I say to my close friends.

Edit: and to be clear, it's not complicated.  But take a look at GAF and how many of the weirdos would actually say #2 on a first date.  Some people really are that socially inept.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on May 25, 2011, 05:48:28 PM
hey dcharlie, does your wife play FFXI on the PC or the PS2? lol
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on May 25, 2011, 06:31:12 PM
I've always thought this "I only talk about games with such and such people" to be a bit odd. I mean, I'm not going to start a conversation with someone about a subject they don't know/care about - shit's absurd. Like, I have about 100GB of eastern European animated shorts on my hdd but why would I ever tell anyone? has nothing to do with shame, it's just not something people would care about, just like I don't give a shit about a particular brand of nail polish taking a particular color out of their line-up (a subject I spent an evening this weekend pretending to listen to). Same about games, football, boxing, skateboarding, etc.

Find a girl with a band t-shirt and talk about music. makes life much easier.

The reason is that the majority of people have a low opinion of video games that aren't COD or Farmville, especially if it is a panty bait RPG on a handheld.  Considering that I don't make gaming the center of my life, I don't feel the need to purposefully go against the grain to show my love for cutesy video games when I'm a fully grown adult with a professional career.  I'd like to hope that I can talk to people about dozens of other things before talking about playing video games.  I mean, if it comes up, I can talk about it, yeah, but I don't talk to someone about it first.  Maybe I'm ashamed of my hobby, sure, but I know what is socially acceptable and what isn't.  If I tread the waters of the socially unacceptable, I'd rather weigh out risk vs. return.  Talking about video games to co-workers who enjoy hunting or fishing on their offtime isn't going to win me any favors or hell anything except to get laughed at.  You got to pick your battles.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: brob on May 25, 2011, 07:52:08 PM
My point is more along the lines of why would you want to talk to someone about something they don't care about? at that point you're just talking at them. That's really the thing that I don't get. What kind of conversations are happening to you were you instigate talks of games with people who don't like them?

And besides, people are always gonna judge you for shit beyond your control. I have friends that give me shit for listening to hip hop or pop music, or some of my favorite films being romantic dramas, etc... So I don't get why 'gamers' are so hung up on the issue of being made fun of.
Then again maybe it's more to do with Americans having stronger opinions on nerd stuff. I've never met anyone(girls/co-workers/whatevs) who disapproved of me having a NES system at my old flat, or having an entire shelf dedicated to Andre Franquins' comics and all sorts of other nerdy stuff. I get more shit for my mountain of typography books than my animu.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on May 25, 2011, 08:37:58 PM
My point is more along the lines of why would you want to talk to someone about something they don't care about? at that point you're just talking at them. That's really the thing that I don't get. What kind of conversations are happening to you were you instigate talks of games with people who don't like them?

And besides, people are always gonna judge you for shit beyond your control. I have friends that give me shit for listening to hip hop or pop music, or some of my favorite films being romantic dramas, etc... So I don't get why 'gamers' are so hung up on the issue of being made fun of.
Then again maybe it's more to do with Americans having stronger opinions on nerd stuff. I've never met anyone(girls/co-workers/whatevs) who disapproved of me having a NES system at my old flat, or having an entire shelf dedicated to Andre Franquins' comics and all sorts of other nerdy stuff. I get more shit for my mountain of typography books than my animu.

Do you have The Elements of Typographic Style (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elements_of_Typographic_Style)? :drool
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: brob on May 25, 2011, 08:41:27 PM
only in pdf form. :c

But at my school we have it, so it's all good  :tophat
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 25, 2011, 09:56:32 PM
Bringhurst :bow2
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 26, 2011, 01:17:17 AM
.
/rant
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 26, 2011, 01:59:35 AM
aaaaaand the site crashed while signing up after writing like an hour of profile  >:(
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Cormacaroni on May 26, 2011, 02:18:21 AM
Going to otaku cons sounds like a GREAT way to meet women actually. If you like that sort of woman, of course.

In general, that approach makes sense to me. If you want a woman who is into rock music, don't search on OKCupid; go to rock concerts and record stores. If you want a woman who is into fitness and health, go to the gym. Where it all fell down for me is that I met my wife in a bar, and she DOESN'T FUCKING DRINK. AARGH.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 26, 2011, 02:56:04 AM
What I learned tonight is that the few anime dating sites are super ghetto broken, glitchy, hard to do anything, and want to charge you money.

Oh well, there goes that idea.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: chronovore on May 26, 2011, 02:58:53 AM
Kinda like this...

Person: So what have you been up to?
Me: Not much.  Hanging out, nothing big.

In reality...

Person: So what have you been up to?
Me: Not much.  Played Red Dead Redemption for about 4 hours Saturday.  Shit was hard.  The military wanted me to escort this train of supplies to the troops, but it had to go through rebel territory.  Shit was hard.  Then a few jobs later, the fucking rebels wanted me to sabotage a train full of supplies and the military was curb stomping my ass hard.  Had to use the gatlin gun.  Then I pretty much made a few hot dogs and marathoned the Harry Potter movies in anticipation of part 2 coming out.  You?

The first is what I say to most people.  The 2nd is what I say to my close friends.

Edit: and to be clear, it's not complicated.  But take a look at GAF and how many of the weirdos would actually say #2 on a first date.  Some people really are that socially inept.

To be more clear, it's what nerds would say immediately prior to ASKING a girl out on a date. Shit's crazy.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mr. Gundam on May 26, 2011, 10:40:13 AM
What I learned tonight is that the few anime dating sites are super ghetto broken, glitchy, hard to do anything, and want to charge you money.

There are anime dating sites? Mind blown.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 26, 2011, 10:47:52 AM
Quote from: dcharlie
My wife isn't the same person i started dating 10+ years ago - and neither am i. If you're going to judge ideal girl on a basically short snapshot then it's potentially a recipe for disaster. You grow into a perfect partner. Hell, i expected the wife and I to last about 2 months tops for instance. I didn't instantly think "This is the one for me!" and neither did she.

The "Perfect Girl" doesn't exist in a short time frame - if you think you've found that person within 1 year, you're probably wrong. You need to date over and over , have fun together ,  argued like cat and dog, pissed each other off, go through the rough and the smooth and lived together first before "Perfect Girl" is anywhere near your thought process. Maybe it's just me - actively searching for "perfect girl" and rejecting early seems a self-defeating strategy. In the short term you simply can't tell (IMO of course)

troof bombs droppin' :bow2
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Boogie on May 26, 2011, 04:44:13 PM
Plentyoffish >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Okcupid

I never got 1/14th the views and emails ok OKC than i did on POF.



They both suck, but I agree with this ranking.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Herr Mafflard on May 26, 2011, 06:06:51 PM
Quote
When i tried to join the football team at my work out here, the british guys and one guy in particluar (who became a really good friend) made excuses that there were no places left on the team when i asked to join because he assumed i'd be shit. I went on to be team captain after the bastards let me play!

clique mentality... "oh look someone who's not not a tip-top athlete wants to join the group"

spoiler (click to show/hide)
reminds me of this guy

 (http://i.imgur.com/XrMpl.jpg)
[close]

fear of usurpation
 
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 27, 2011, 02:02:46 AM
I have to say though, right now I'm the happiest I've ever been.  I love my new job.  Going to work everyday is FUN and so much better than all the years of school over the years.  I love how there's no BS time where you're wasting time for no reason.  I'm always working on one thing then moving to another and there's just like constant stuff going on all day at the firm.  But it's great because everything you're doing is helping people out and when you talk to them and they are super thankful and friendly it makes your day that much better.  And coming up with solutions and good ideas is satisfying.  Most of the opposing attorneys in the business/real estate/injury areas are nice guys too and talking with them is just two guys (or girls) being friendly to each other in a chivalrous sport.  Plus since there's no JOB TIME and just billable hour time, I can just walk out the door whenever and go get some coffee or look at PC videocards or check some websites and then get back to work on my own pace.  It's great.

Plus I love my new car.  Driving around is soooo much fun in my S2000.  Everyday I take longer routes than I need to, to get more drive in.  Today I found out that I'd never actually FULLY pushed the gas pedal down because I had to pass someone on the freeway and I just hit the pedal to the ground and zomggggg it was faaast.  Love it.

And then when I'm home in the evenings, I don't feel like there's anything I have to do.  I'm not in the middle of some 50 hour rpg, or catching up on some 50 ep show.  Nah.  I just do whatever at any moment.  Talk to a friend, browse some internet, play an hour of a game or watch some anime or something, take photos and edit them all night.  Browse random dating sites.  Tons to do, so always entertained until I'm ready to zzz for the night.  Plus I've been looking around for places in town and it's nice having an actual salary with money in my pocket so I feel free to do whatever I want at anytime.  It's been a while since I've had total freedom to live my life.

So to me the girl stuff is like a delicious donut from the best donut shop a far ways away.  Do I need the donut to make me fat and feel sick afterwards?  Nope.  Life is good, can stay skinny.  But if I had a delicious legendary donut in my hand, would my great day be even greater?  Sure.  A cute gf to cuddle around with and have some non-forum/internet human to talk with would be nice.  Thus, right now I'm just kind of looking around and dipping my toes in the water.  If I go on a few dates or something, maybe it'll be nice but I won't think too much about it.  Just see how the water flows and the wind blows.  If they don't work out, no biggie either.  At this point I'll likely keep meeting people throughout the next 10 years.

The only thing that gets me thinking in the negative is the idea of a girl who I can actually watch anime tv shows with.  Aka, the female version Prole.  And she doesn't exist.  Or at least I'm not going to meet her through the internet and probably not through irl either.  If I wanted to meet this girl, I needed to do this about a decade ago.  Opportunity has long passed I think, and that makes me a little sad.  Instead I will be relegated to having my only friends who I can talk about anime/manga with be the nice EB fellas in our very own anime/manga thread and duckroll because we go way back.  You know how when you talk with someone, there needs to be at least that one common interest or else you have nothing to discuss besides asking each other questions.  Every single time I talk with a girl, our link ends up being music; which is lolz considering music is one of my smaller hobbies and I really don't keep up with modern music.  But my other hobbies are anime, manga, games, movies, and photography and well that's about it and most girls don't have much to talk about on those subjects.  So music it is.  Every girl I've dated or even just kept e-mails going for a week or more has boiled down to "oh man, you were into Ska shows back in the day too?  Remember so and so" and that's basically what holds the relationship together for a while. 

I don't know if it's funny or sad but every girl I've dated or had multiple back and forth replies with (aka they're interested/I'm interested) has been THE SAME GIRL.  They are all tall (usually my height or a few inches higher; never a smaller girl), pale, white girls with long/medium black hair and maybe a tattoo or three who are punk/hipster and were into ska/punk at some point in their life and music is a major part of their lives.  Maybe it's that this is the only type of girl that motivates me to really strike up conversations, or maybe these are the only types of girls who are interested in conversing back.  No idea, but after the 4th or 5th or 6th girl who is the exact same physical layout, it's just kind of weird.  It's like only enjoying one type of sushi.  Maybe it's just because I'm used to this type of girl since it was my first gf and so it's the less pressure more comfort zone because I know how to relate to them.  I probably should go out of my comfort zone but I really don't know how.  I physically don't find most women attractive, so that kind of stops me from actively interacting with them.

I don't really have the answers, but then again I don't really know what I'm looking for or doing either.  It's a good thing everything else in my life is rock solid so I don't need to dwell on it too much, and I can just say throw my hands up yell some yiddish and see how the world spins each day.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 27, 2011, 11:27:22 PM
Yeah, I'm not :P

I'm just looking for someone who has 1 thing in common! and that is they watch anime regularly so we could watch stuff together.  I'm not even a hardcore anime/manga fan.  I watch about as much anime as I watch US tv.  Maybe an hour or two a week.  But it'd be nice to meet someone who I can talk to about that stuff.

Anyhow, I don't know if it's just the locale, but I'm finding that Plenty of Fish is sort of hmmm.  It seems mainly made up of gangsta women who write stuff like "I'm the illest ride in this part of west coast", slutty looking girls, single mothers, and 85% hispanic community.  Seems more like a pick up site than okcupid which comes off as more reserved.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Boogie on May 27, 2011, 11:30:41 PM
Don't look for a girl that has everything in common. Everyone needs their own thing.

Well, in online dating, one looks for precisely one thing in common.  That is, when you write them, they write you back.  And even that is a 1/35 crapshoot. :P
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 27, 2011, 11:42:39 PM
Quote from: bebpuu~
I'm just looking for someone who has 1 thing in common! and that is they watch anime regularly so we could watch stuff together.  I'm not even a hardcore anime/manga fan.

 :wtf
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Boogie on May 27, 2011, 11:52:12 PM
Quote from: bebpuu~
I'm just looking for someone who has 1 thing in common! and that is they watch anime regularly so we could watch stuff together.  I'm not even a hardcore anime/manga fan.

 :wtf
:lol
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 28, 2011, 12:56:27 AM
I'm only hardcore because I've been in the scene foreeeeeever so I have a good knowledge base and know a lot about the inner workings of old school anime fandom and new school.  I'm hardly a big fan anymore.  I watch a little here and there, post about it here, read Animenewsnetwork along with my game news sites and use anime avatars.  But I'm a casual fan....I swear!
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 28, 2011, 01:42:59 AM
I still follow game news obsessively (like, literally the first thing I do when I get up in the morning is check game news sites) though I haven't actually played a game in like two years apart from a few smartphone and web games, adding up to probably a total of two or three gaming hours per year (but hundreds of reading-about-games-on-the-internet hours). In fact, I haven't had a console since the PS1/N64 generation, and I don't play PC games either. wtf is wrong with me.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 28, 2011, 01:43:27 AM
then why is your #1 prerequisite for a date if not a soulmate that anime be an important hobby to them ???
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mandark on May 28, 2011, 02:06:03 AM
I'm just looking for someone who has 1 thing in common! and that is they start fires regularly so we could burn stuff together.  I'm not even a hardcore arsonist.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Oblivion on May 28, 2011, 02:16:51 AM
then why is your #1 prerequisite for a date if not a soulmate that anime be an important hobby to them ???

So that just in case he dies, he has someone to take over and carry on his internet persona?
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Barry Egan on May 28, 2011, 02:20:43 AM
:spin
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 28, 2011, 02:23:07 AM
then why is your #1 prerequisite for a date if not a soulmate that anime be an important hobby to them ???

It doesn't need to be important.  But you gotta at least be somewhat into anime to get past the "cons are scary" thinking and go to them!  My guy friends don't want to go to cons with me.  I literally am the ONLY person I know who thinks it'd be fun to be sitting in a giant tent at a con with 30 people at 3am watching bootleg VHS fansubs of 80s shows (true story).  It's sad when everyone else moves on :(

The problem is there is no middle ground.  Normal women are freaked out by anime and rightfully so because 90% of it is fucking embarrasing pedo creepy these days.  So you gotta find someone who knows what's up and watches that 10% that's still quality programming.

So that just in case he dies, he has someone to take over and carry on his internet persona?

I do like this though.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Human Snorenado on May 28, 2011, 02:24:42 AM
*backs slowly out of thread*
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Barry Egan on May 28, 2011, 02:24:43 AM
 :spin :spin :spin
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 28, 2011, 02:39:12 AM
:fbm
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 28, 2011, 02:40:28 AM
so how 'bout them lakers
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Human Snorenado on May 28, 2011, 02:44:43 AM
sorry, i'm terrified beyond the ability for rational thought, much less the capacity to make small talk about sports teams.  i'm gonna be seeing a tent filled with socially inept nerdlingers watching fansubbed 80's anime in my nightmares tonight i'm afraid.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: cool breeze on May 28, 2011, 02:46:54 AM
Just go to the weeaboo extreme.  How bad could it be?  just remember to hide the rubberbands
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Barry Egan on May 28, 2011, 03:04:06 AM
Retitle thread "the problem with staying young and women" please.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 28, 2011, 03:18:26 AM
I think Bebpo should hook up with Himuro's dad (http://www.evilbore.com/forum/index.php?topic=34032.msg1319338#msg1319338).
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 28, 2011, 03:52:22 AM
Like you guys never did nerd stuff when you were young :P
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: pilonv1 on May 28, 2011, 03:54:40 AM
I love this thread
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on May 28, 2011, 07:14:57 AM
oh lawd

Best of luck Bebpo.  It seems like the advice given has whizzed over your head.  It's your life.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: etiolate on May 28, 2011, 07:27:35 AM
Just go to the weeaboo extreme.  How bad could it be?  just remember to hide the rubberbands
do this

post details of crazy fangirl sex antics
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on May 28, 2011, 07:28:38 AM
Bepbo, you'll be lucky finding a women that won't think it's lame you want to sit in a tent watch vhs anime from the 80's, finding one that will join in seems impossible. Be realistic now!

There are lots of desperate single mothers out there that will probably tolerate an animu fantard.  Bebpo is aiming too high by going his age or younger.  He's gotta aim for the mid 30s crazy divorcees!  All they'll care about is that he is a lawyer so she can brag to her equally desperate mid 30s friends.  She can just describe him watching Uguu Pantsuu-kun as "quirky."
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: etiolate on May 28, 2011, 07:37:31 AM
To be honest, I don't think dating sites will help you out much or get you a waifu. Let your worst parts out, not in an obnoxious way, but don't hide the general filthy whole of yourself and see who comes along and still buys into you. Maybe they're not into your most fanatic interests, but they're into you and so doing stuff is fun in general, no matter what it is you're doing. Just find someone you enjoy spending time with, not someone who likes one certain thing as much as you and hoping that extends to the rest of everything else that goes on in life.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Shuri on May 28, 2011, 10:43:02 AM
You can have pretty nerdy hobbies and still meet women from that age; the key point is to show that it has not taken over your life. When I met my girlfriend, I never told her I was into arcade collecting, gaming, or even comic books, they didn't get a mention at all until she noticed them at my place. But then again, if a hobby takes over your life, then something is wrong and you need to fix that. It just turns them off; and that stands for regular hobbies too.

You need to show balance in your life.

Think about it -- would you really want to be with a woman that talks about reality shows, glee or whatever all the time? Nah she would come off as creepy
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Van Cruncheon on May 28, 2011, 01:45:54 PM
Like you guys never did nerd stuff when you were young :P

i was a super anime/vg tard until about the age of 20. then i started getting developing more adult concerns, interests, and perspectives. it happens!
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 28, 2011, 01:54:30 PM
Like you guys never did nerd stuff when you were young :P

i was a super anime/vg tard until about the age of 20. then i started getting developing more adult concerns, interests, and perspectives. it happens!

Same.

For the most part I'm just messing with you guys a bit, since I showed a little interest in meeting someone who shares similar hobbies and somehow that spiraled into an unstoppable weaboo force so I just ran with it.  I'm about as normal adult guy as you get these days and I've chatting and setting up some dates with normal adult women as well.  :P

I wouldn't say no to meeting a girl into that kind of fun stuff, but it's not where I'm actively looking either.  I do listen to the advice in these threads and really I'm just testing the waters at the moment and enjoying life.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on May 28, 2011, 03:19:49 PM
Quote
Maybe it's just because I'm used to this type of girl since it was my first gf...

I was stuck in this rut for a while. You need to break out of it. Force yourself to go out on dates with girls who "aren't your type." I think you will very quickly discover your type is not as typecast as you think.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mandark on May 29, 2011, 12:00:08 AM
Quote
Maybe it's just because I'm used to this type of girl since it was my first gf...

I was stuck in this rut for a while. You need to break out of it. Force yourself to go out on dates with girls who "aren't your type." I think you will very quickly discover your type is not as typecast as you think.

That's good advice.

Of course, in a romantic comedy it'd be immediately followed by a montage of wacky bad dates/weird sexual encounters.  But even then you'd meet your soul mate two or three scenes later!
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: cool breeze on May 29, 2011, 12:32:26 AM
or the friend giving him advice is his true love; it just takes him a while to realize it.

Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 29, 2011, 02:05:48 AM
Well I'm not going on any dates this weekend because the trunk of my car BROKE  :maf  Won't close and I'm not about to drive around with an open trunk blocking my rear view mirror.  Plus I think I can get a ticket for that.

ffffuuu
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on May 29, 2011, 03:11:13 AM
So apparently if the locking device in the trunk of your car breaks, you are in for a headache.  Because if the trunk is not locked down closed the trunk light bulb will always be on and your battery will die.  I pulled open the panel for the bulb and tried to pull it out but it doesn't twist off or pull out.  I'm not sure how you're supposed to get it out.  Next thing I'm going to do is pull out the fuse but it's pitch black at night and I can't see anything so will have to do that at the crack of dawn.  And since it's a holiday weekend, if I don't find the right fuse it'll be on until tuesday at best, so the battery will be shot for sure.  ARGH.  I had heard some weird jingling in the locking device previously like a screw loose or something but had never though anything of it.  I think a piece disappeared :X
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: CrystalGemini on May 30, 2011, 12:39:14 AM
Contact a mechanic?
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: jiji on May 31, 2011, 05:08:50 PM
Think about it -- would you really want to be with a woman that talks about reality shows, glee or whatever all the time? Nah she would come off as creepy


 :-\
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: BlackMage on June 01, 2011, 02:37:01 PM
Sup bebpo! *sniff sniff* smells like booty in here.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: lennedsay on June 01, 2011, 02:41:30 PM
How's your online dating experience going boo?
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: BlackMage on June 01, 2011, 03:30:29 PM
How's your online dating experience going boo?

Pretty much went back to my old methods. NOT TRYING.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Madrun Badrun on June 01, 2011, 03:34:38 PM
High-five for not trying
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 01, 2011, 03:57:16 PM
How's your online dating experience going boo?

Pretty much went back to my old methods. NOT TRYING.

I'm probably joining this boat soon.  Internet dating is too weird.  There were two women that I thought I had clicked with and we had daily e-mails back and forth going for 3-4 days and then on Friday I sent replies to both (including asking one out on a first date) and never heard back again from either.  I mean maybe they had things going on over the 3 day weekend and so they didn't have a chance to write back, but umm...it's Wednesday.  :wtf

This happens a lot from my experience.  Then it's like "those 4 days of e-mailing and getting to know the person and them getting to know you"...what was the point.  Seems like wasted time and might as well not try and use the time on more productive things.

And to date, in the 5 years since discovering the world of online dating I've yet to receive a single reply from PlentyofFish; I think everyone else on the site is a randomly generated user.  At least on Okcupid I get replies and start conversations.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: BlackMage on June 01, 2011, 04:15:55 PM
I've actually met a few in person on OKcupid now. Turns out they are all distinguished mentally-challenged, though.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Phoenix Dark on June 01, 2011, 04:16:34 PM
It's real easy to force things when you haven't had success in awhile, or you're feeling pressure from friends. In my experience it's always best to slow things down and let things come to you. With respect to nerd shit, gaming is more mainstream than it has ever been...but that doesn't mean animu RPGs are any more respected or understood by anyone regardless of gender. You have your hobbies, she has hers. Don't define yourself by gaming, which is what a lot of nerds try to do. That might work on GAF or Japan, but not in the real world.

Also you may be a lawyer but a chick still doesn't want you to dominate a general conversation with all the shit you've done, who you've met, that single mother you helped for free, etc. Let her talk about herself and use that as a spring board for conversation, tying it into your own life when you can.

Go with the flow and don't be intimidated. You're on your way to a successful career and you're still young: women are going to flock to you eventually. Might as well work on your outgoing/personality/listening/etc skills before you hastily enter a relationship and realize she's not as into you as much as you had thought.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: demi on June 01, 2011, 04:43:21 PM
You know who really enjoys gaming and other innocent, child-like hobbies at this age? Gay people.

Problem solved.

Also required: Doctor Who
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 01, 2011, 05:11:18 PM
But all my straight guys friends are into Dr. Who!
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: cool breeze on June 01, 2011, 05:31:46 PM
you misheard them. they're saying they want to be into David Tennant.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: lennedsay on June 01, 2011, 05:31:53 PM
 :( I'm sorry guys.... Maybe you need to be assholes. I hear some girls dig assholes. Might not get you something long term but at least you can lay the pipe.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: demi on June 01, 2011, 05:33:29 PM
But all my straight guys friends are into Dr. Who!

Nope.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on June 01, 2011, 05:41:54 PM
But all my straight guys friends are into Dr. Who!

Nope.

I am NOT into Dr. Who, for the record
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on June 01, 2011, 05:44:42 PM
Sorry to be a dick but it blows my mind that a lawyer is having trouble picking up women.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 01, 2011, 06:11:23 PM
But all my straight guys friends are into Dr. Who!

Nope.

I am NOT into Dr. Who, for the record

 :lol

You're the only one! 

/I don't watch it either because I don't have the time

Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 01, 2011, 06:17:24 PM
Sorry to be a dick but it blows my mind that a lawyer is having trouble picking up women.

Eh, it doesn't mean much these days.  Online dating = women have more choice.  Online dating = generally younger women -> younger women = don't care about profession/income & more likely to be anti-authority.  Online dating is the place where the homeless artist, the straightedge surfer, or the living-in-a-tour-bus indie musician thrives; meanwhile the white collar I-work-a-job and have-a-stable-life has the hard time.

People come to the internet for escapism, dating is a no different.  Women want the exotic dream they don't see often in their lives; they don't want normality.  They've grown up on movies where everyone is Keanu Reeves in Point Break.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Boogie on June 01, 2011, 06:45:33 PM
Sorry to be a dick but it blows my mind that a lawyer is having trouble picking up women.

Eh, it doesn't mean much these days.  Online dating = women have more choice.  Online dating = generally younger women -> younger women = don't care about profession/income & more likely to be anti-authority.  Online dating is the place where the homeless artist, the straightedge surfer, or the living-in-a-tour-bus indie musician thrives; meanwhile the white collar I-work-a-job and have-a-stable-life has the hard time.


I think your description is more specific to okcupid.  There are plenty of non-hipster/anti-establishment types on POF, from what I recall.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 01, 2011, 08:19:20 PM
Maybe.  But I don't even understand how to use PoF.  The interface is a total mess and there's just pictures everywhere and I write to people and like I've said I've never heard back from anyone on there.  Plus the profiles have so little information it's hard to even figure out something to say that's profile specific.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: naff on June 01, 2011, 08:35:36 PM
One of my good friends has his masters in law, and has been earning good money for a while. Never helped him get pussy as long as I've known him for, and he's good looking too. He's hitting 34 soon and just got engaged to a really nice woman, before this relationship afaik his love life has been pretty up and down like normal non-lawyer people, same goes for nearly every other lawyer I've known, they're either the friendly, awkward nerd law type or the arrogant shmuck working for big tax firm type with the platinum blonde slut at his side. Maybe it's the crowds we hang out with, I know the type that might be interested in someone just cause they're a lawyer, but personally I've never been friends with or hang out with such girls.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: tiesto on June 01, 2011, 11:52:30 PM
Sorry to be a dick but it blows my mind that a lawyer is having trouble picking up women.

Eh, it doesn't mean much these days.  Online dating = women have more choice.  Online dating = generally younger women -> younger women = don't care about profession/income & more likely to be anti-authority.  Online dating is the place where the homeless artist, the straightedge surfer, or the living-in-a-tour-bus indie musician thrives; meanwhile the white collar I-work-a-job and have-a-stable-life has the hard time.


I think your description is more specific to okcupid.  There are plenty of non-hipster/anti-establishment types on POF, from what I recall.

Yeah, I think you'd have better luck finding women more into professional men on Match. It's a paysite, but the girls there are generally more serious and looking for a bit more than a fling... it's not quite "on the marriage train" as eHarmony, nor is it as casual as OKC... it's a good in-between. All I can say is, I hope you like teachers, Jesus-freaks and Jesus-freak teachers.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 02, 2011, 02:25:55 AM
I hope you like teachers, Jesus-freaks and Jesus-freak teachers.

Been there, done that.

Not joking.

Never doing those again.  Literally.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: chronovore on June 05, 2011, 09:38:52 AM
So apparently if the locking device in the trunk of your car breaks, you are in for a headache.  Because if the trunk is not locked down closed the trunk light bulb will always be on and your battery will die.  I pulled open the panel for the bulb and tried to pull it out but it doesn't twist off or pull out.  I'm not sure how you're supposed to get it out.  Next thing I'm going to do is pull out the fuse but it's pitch black at night and I can't see anything so will have to do that at the crack of dawn.  And since it's a holiday weekend, if I don't find the right fuse it'll be on until tuesday at best, so the battery will be shot for sure.  ARGH.  I had heard some weird jingling in the locking device previously like a screw loose or something but had never though anything of it.  I think a piece disappeared :X

Unscrew the trunk light?
Use a bungie cord to close the trunk?
Camp out on top of the trunk? Make s'mores?
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 08, 2011, 03:32:14 AM
1. Light was unscrewable
2. Yes, that was the best solution for the time
3. Where were you a week ago when I needed good advice like this?     :'(

Anyhow I took care of the car issue last week.  All good now! 

Can't say the same thing about my road to human interaction though :x  Have hit a few detours so far.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Akala on June 08, 2011, 07:05:46 PM
Bebpo, come flaunt lawyer money in Vegas. You buy bottles, I'll get you some play. It may not be pretty, but I'll get you play!
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: BlackMage on June 08, 2011, 07:36:56 PM
Bebpo, come flaunt lawyer money in Vegas. You buy bottles, I'll get you some play. It may not be pretty, but I'll get you play!

I leave for Vegas on friday  :-*  gonna go see Deftones at the joint on saturday!
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Akala on June 08, 2011, 07:59:22 PM
You bastard! Stay another week! EB meetup at Surrender on Wednesday.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 08, 2011, 08:51:57 PM
I always thought we should have an EB con in Vegas like how SA has gooncon.  Everyone on EB is the Vegas-enjoying type and most of us are on the mid/west-coast area.  Could be fun!
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Phoenix Dark on June 08, 2011, 09:23:15 PM
I'd rather go to London
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Madrun Badrun on June 08, 2011, 10:24:12 PM
Bebop just find a pretty girl in need and do some pro bono for some pro bono. probono solved.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 10, 2011, 09:06:14 PM
Well I'm over women.  Waste of time and full of crazies.

Better to spend my time hanging with the bros and having a crazy fun single life while enjoying my soon to be 30s.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mr. Spinnington on June 10, 2011, 09:49:28 PM
just say that you're a lawyer out loud in a public place and a pair of panties will land in your mouth.

I have never heard of or seen this phenomenon
unrelated, i love that the quote text reveals

'Quote from: My F*cking Grandpa'
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: choco parfait on June 12, 2011, 08:49:09 PM
Well I'm over women.  Waste of time and full of crazies.

Better to spend my time hanging with the bros and having a crazy fun single life while enjoying my soon to be 30s.

Not that that's a bad route, but imo it seems that your troubles mainly stem from your lack of time (#3). There's nothing wrong with your appearance, your age, or your personality (based only on my perception of you online, of course). Lots of single guys and girls wander around into their late 20s/early 30s, you just need to be realistic about your prospects: imagine the most likely catch will be someone similar to your level in terms of age, experience, life, etc.

Then it's just a matter of exposing yourself to more situations, increasing your encounter rate!

Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 13, 2011, 09:48:42 PM
Thanks, yeah I guess I'm just too busy atm and female companionship is not something that is a super high priority in my life right now.  Maybe will give internet sites another shot in some time, but just seems like a big waste of time currently.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Cormacaroni on June 13, 2011, 10:06:25 PM
Thanks, yeah I guess I'm just too busy atm and female companionship is not something that is a super high priority in my life right now.  Maybe will give internet sites another shot in some time, but just seems like a big waste of time currently.

You are doing absolutely the right thing.

(http://www.thedoghousediaries.com/comics/uncategorized/2009-06-03-3f68bd3bfab28ffd087276ba81fc9636.png)
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Robo on June 13, 2011, 10:13:08 PM
The "ignore her" strategy only works if you're already in a relationship.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on June 13, 2011, 10:14:34 PM
The ignore her slant is dependent on too many variables to be legitimate. It has its time and place.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 13, 2011, 10:33:31 PM
I can attest that once you are IN a relationship, ignore her drives the other person crazy about you.  Of course, ignoring is hard if you actually enjoy the person's company, and when you don't then it's no big deal but then you have a crazy girl that you don't enjoy being around whose madly into you.  In other words, it's not really a viable method of dating.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on June 14, 2011, 01:16:02 AM
ignoring is only good for short-term and not good for long-term.

cock + funny >>>>>> ignoring any day
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 14, 2011, 01:32:57 AM
I have cock but not that funny :(
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Barry Egan on June 14, 2011, 02:16:25 AM
Have u murdered your inner child yet?  I want to see you get laid.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: chronovore on June 14, 2011, 07:54:57 AM
Thanks, yeah I guess I'm just too busy atm and female companionship is not something that is a super high priority in my life right now.  Maybe will give internet sites another shot in some time, but just seems like a big waste of time currently.

You are doing absolutely the right thing.

(http://www.thedoghousediaries.com/comics/uncategorized/2009-06-03-3f68bd3bfab28ffd087276ba81fc9636.png)


This is largely accurate, and will result in getting laid. It is so tricky to pretend to ignore them even as they're unzipping your pants.

However, the "Be yourself" option is the only one that leads to working, healthy, long term relationships. It fails repeatedly, but when it works, it's the best.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Boogie on June 16, 2011, 10:30:29 PM
Never witnessed the "ignore her" shit work, personally.  i call shenanigans.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Cormacaroni on June 16, 2011, 11:25:54 PM
'Be yourself' translates almost exactly to 'Ignore her' in my world.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 16, 2011, 11:43:10 PM
I've been so busy in the last week I haven't even checked my inbox on okc/pof.  Apparently I've gotten some messages.  May check them out tonight if I got time. 

Went to a golfing fundraiser yesterday with the local lawyer chapter.  Women were approaching me left and right after I introduced myself.  Was nice.  One of them called me at work today to ask if I wanted to go to another event tonight with her, but it was in Beverly Hills and time-wise I couldn't make it from getting off work so told her no.  She mentioned something about lunch over the weekend and I said for her to shoot me an e-mail if she wanted to do that on Saturday.  She's not from around here though, just on a trip to CA so it's nothing in that direction, just some friendly chat about lawyer stuff.

Anyhow, what I gleamed from that situation was that if I actually put myself somewhere where there are women (like a club or social event), it's not actually that hard to meet people.  They come to you!  You just gotta open with a comment or something.  Seems much better than all the internet carrot/stick schtick.  I just gotta find the time to get out to more events and figure out what kind of clubs I should join.

'Be yourself' translates almost exactly to 'Ignore her' in my world.

 :lol
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Phoenix Dark on June 17, 2011, 12:30:16 AM
'Be yourself' translates almost exactly to 'Ignore her' in my world.
.

Girls get hit on, stared at, and basically harassed all day. There's not much of anything you can do to stand out if you want to play that game. Just do your own thing but be confident; there's a difference between the "ignore her because you have no balls" camp and the "ignore her because you're a confident mother fucker" camp.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Cormacaroni on June 17, 2011, 12:31:02 AM
ignore her....and be awesome
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mupepe on June 17, 2011, 11:03:18 AM
Ignore her only works as real tactic when there's already something between you two.  When there's sexual tension but she's playing hard to get and being stubborn. 
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Cormacaroni on June 17, 2011, 12:19:02 PM
i.e. if you're awesome all the time, thereby guaranteeing sexual tension
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 18, 2011, 03:12:24 AM
So one thing that makes no sense to me in the online dating scene is I've had this situation play out 4 times in the last 3 weeks:

-Guy+Girl click somewhat, e-mail messages back and forth for 3-6 days, each getting more open and friendly with each other
-Girl's profile tends to indicate that girl is interested in meeting up in person rather quickly to get a grasp of if there's any real interest
-Guy figures, after 3-6 days of 4-8 emails, it's probably a good time to invite out for a cup of coffee or something.  Mentions this at the end of 4-6th email.
-Weeks pass; Guy never hears another reply from girl.  Girl just vanishes the second Guy brings up the concept of actually meeting in person, despite guy/girl having friendly e-mail chatting going like actually friends by this point.


Very confusing.  All I can think of is:
1) Girl is not interested in ever meeting up with guy and doesn't have the guts to tell him that so just doesn't say anything
2) Girl is interested in meeting, but saying "yes, let's meet" takes courage and girl is too shy/nervous to do that

I dunno what the guy can do in either situation.  If he sends another e-mail a week later trying to find out what happened...that's not going to work.  Just seems hopeless.

Anyhow, had that happened with 3-4 girls.  I haven't met a single internet person in the flesh since I started looking again a month or two ago despite having back/forth e-mails going with dozens and dozens of girls over the timespan.  Not really discouraging so much as just confusing as to what kind of symbols are being presented and how are they being misinterpreted. 

Any EBro advice on this matter?
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: chronovore on June 18, 2011, 03:25:01 AM
Stop trying to fit it into an equation.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on June 18, 2011, 03:26:07 AM
I have cock but not that funny :(

er...cocky + funny
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 18, 2011, 03:28:49 AM
Stop trying to fit it into an equation.

I'm like recursive though.  I like my world in numbers, formulas, and predictability.  If A, then B.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on June 18, 2011, 03:30:02 AM
The world is never a -> b

any situation could just as well be a -> z
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 18, 2011, 03:46:53 AM
What do you think though about girls who you built up a rapport with and we're in the middle of several conversational threads when they just VANISH after you throw in one sentence about meeting over coffee in the previous message?

Is there any point in even doing a followup mail ever?  Or do friendships you've started to build up just instantly die for eternity the second that happens?  I feel like I should followup and resume contact with these people who I clicked with and got along with, but I don't want to come off as annoying by msging them again after they've decided not to reply to my previous message.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on June 18, 2011, 03:49:36 AM
Hell if I know. I'm black. I've never managed to get past the "lol you like The Office too?!?!?!" point in terms of messages. Online dating sux.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Bebpo on June 18, 2011, 03:54:30 AM
It really does.  Although I don't think being Black has anything to do with it.  It sucks equally for everyone.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on June 18, 2011, 04:08:38 AM
No one replies to or has interest in black people on the major dating sites.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on June 18, 2011, 04:33:08 AM
I've been getting invited to a lot of parties and stuff lately by female friends, I think the young women in my neighborhood seem to have collectively decided I'm probably not a serial killer after all. not sure if this has any bearing on dating opportunities, or if I'm even interested in them at the moment tbh

I also got a message from an appealing looking woman on OKC, which I hadn't logged into in like a year. but she hasn't responded to my response, for which I don't blame her as my response was pretty lame
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on June 18, 2011, 04:39:45 AM
females inviting you to parties.

of course that's a dating opportuni...

fuck it

JUST FUCK IT
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on June 18, 2011, 05:16:36 AM
Some are married/have boyfriends, and the others I sort of think of as out of my league, I guess.  or maybe not so much "out of my league" as just not really compatible other than as friends.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Akala on June 18, 2011, 09:25:46 AM
I've been getting invited to a lot of parties and stuff lately by female friends, I think the young women in my neighborhood seem to have collectively decided I'm probably not a serial killer after all. not sure if this has any bearing on dating opportunities

but think of all the killing opportunities that have opened up. :drool
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mupepe on June 18, 2011, 10:36:05 AM
Dude. There is no answer. Women are just people. They each probably have their own reasons and none of them will satisfy you and they don't matter. And in my opinion, if you're thinking this hard about it you're probably trying too hard and reeking of desperation. Try to make an offer to meet come up "genuinely". Steer the conversation towards something of equal interest that will grant you an opportunity. Not just a "hey so you wanna do this thing already? scenario.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Mr. Gundam on June 18, 2011, 06:43:13 PM
What do you think though about girls who you built up a rapport with and we're in the middle of several conversational threads when they just VANISH after you throw in one sentence about meeting over coffee in the previous message?

Or maybe they like the attention online but have no real interest in taking it offline.

It's human interaction, it's not a math equation that's always predictable.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Barry Egan on June 18, 2011, 06:54:54 PM
Quote
Is there any point in even doing a followup mail ever?  Or do friendships you've started to build up just instantly die for eternity the second that happens?

could you be any more dramatic?  ::)
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Barry Egan on June 18, 2011, 09:59:55 PM
sorry.  there's no reason for me to be mean.  All I meant to say is, most women can sense if a guy is becoming overly attached too quickly, and it's only going to have them leaning on the eject button.  Now I don't know how you might be communicating that in your interactions, but when you wax about the end of an internet non-relationship with histrionics it's easy to assume the worst. 
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Himu on June 18, 2011, 10:08:20 PM
give up on online dating, bebpo. it's a sham. do this shit face to face.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Oblivion on June 18, 2011, 10:29:29 PM
Ignore her only works as real tactic when there's already something between you two.  When there's sexual tension but she's playing hard to get and being stubborn. 

This.

If the girl didn't give a shit about you to begin with, ignoring her definitely doesn't seem like it would a helpful tactic.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: choco parfait on June 18, 2011, 10:29:37 PM
Or maybe they like the attention online but have no real interest in taking it offline.

My conjecture as well. I wouldn't be surprised if a majority of online dating ends like that. The transition from online/semi-anonymity to real life is always a hurdle in any situation, so either the other party was never interested in jumping that hurdle or, unfortunately, you never gave them enough of a reason to.

But you talked earlier about your good experiences in large group places and stuff, I totally think you should pursue that route! Clubs or parties or lively events are really the optimum way to be exposed to a large range of people without the situation making it weird or putting up artificial hurdles.
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: cool breeze on June 18, 2011, 11:13:28 PM
Ignore her only works as real tactic when there's already something between you two.  When there's sexual tension but she's playing hard to get and being stubborn. 

This.

If the girl didn't give a shit about you to begin with, ignoring her definitely doesn't seem like it would a helpful tactic.

yeah, I don't think you can misconstrue 'ignore her' as "sit in a corner and sulk quietly and she'll be allured to your emanating sexual wit"
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on June 19, 2011, 12:08:21 AM
yeah, I don't think you can misconstrue 'ignore her' as "sit in a corner and sulk quietly and she'll be allured to your emanating sexual wit"

that actually used to sort of work for me when I was like 24 and pretty. I mean women would at least approach me and occasionally want to make out with me. but now that I'm old and ugly that never happens anymore  :(
Title: Re: The problem with getting old and women
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on June 21, 2011, 12:11:40 PM
Never witnessed the "ignore her" shit work, personally.  i call shenanigans.

"Ignore her" only really works if there is some kind of sexual attraction on her end.