THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Himu on July 03, 2011, 10:18:06 PM

Title: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Himu on July 03, 2011, 10:18:06 PM
It's the best thing in the world. You feel free, you feel lighter, healthier. It's relaxing, too. And if you're a male, it feels good!

Taking a dump has been one of my favorite things since I was a kid and I look forward to it daily. You should truly cherish be able to shit a good one because it gets worse with age.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Vertigo on July 03, 2011, 10:24:09 PM
I regale my lady with tales of my bowel movements. A good shit is a great way to start the day. Or as an afternoon treat. 8)

My favorites are the ones that just drop out with no effort at all. My diet was pretty crappy for a while. And my stomach paid for it with some very frustrating toilet trips,where i would not feel truly emptied and horribly bloated but now i have a good balance, i'm eating much better  and my shits are marvellous.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Positive Touch on July 03, 2011, 10:45:56 PM
ive gotten shit (lol) all my life for take 20-30 min shits.  sorry people but it feels great and i just wanna relax afterward with a magazine or my computer; sometimes i even hang out with my cat in there.  i shit every morning and right after i get off work like clockwork and unless i ate too much hot food it always feels totally satisfying.

i do have to say tho, ive been constipated a few times in my life and that is some of the worst pain ive ever felt.  for some reason had myself convinced that laxatives were worthless and so i ended up passing a few GIANT shits unassisted.  i dont think any of you guys can accurately imagine what it feels like to shit out something the size and firmness of a baseball but let me tell you IT SUCKS.  i bit into a shampoo bottle, grabbed my feet, and squeezed until it shot out.  afterwards all i could do was scream and flail around until i collapsed from exhaustion and layed on the cold bathroom floor as i felt my asshole slowly shrink back to its regular size.  ever since then i havent hesitated to go grab some lax when i get backed up.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: BlackMage on July 03, 2011, 10:49:49 PM
I can't stay on the shitter too long or my legs fall asleep.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 03, 2011, 10:56:02 PM
pro-tip: cut down on the red meat and dairy and you won't get so backed up, kids
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Narag on July 03, 2011, 10:57:19 PM
I can see my tv from my toilet so sometimes I just leave the door open. It's all about convergence.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Himu on July 03, 2011, 10:57:36 PM
pro-tip: cut down on the red meat and dairy and you won't get so backed up, kids

said like the token hippy mchipster
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Diunx on July 03, 2011, 11:00:08 PM
I haven't take shit today, time to fix that :drool
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 03, 2011, 11:22:32 PM
pro-tip: cut down on the red meat and dairy and you won't get so backed up, kids

said like the token hippy mchipster

 ::) It's pretty much common sense, dude.  The only time I ever have monstrous, painful shits are when I've been eating a bunch of dairy products.  I don't eat red meat so there you go.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: BlackMage on July 03, 2011, 11:49:34 PM
cut down on red meat, he says. Like asking me to stop breathing.  :maf
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Bildi on July 04, 2011, 12:16:50 AM
I was just researching which wacky countries like to squat - and discovered dual-use toilets. :o

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4d/Pedestal-squat-toilet.jpg)
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 04, 2011, 01:02:48 AM
pro-tip: cut down on the red meat and dairy and you won't get so backed up, kids

said like the token hippy mchipster

 ::) It's pretty much common sense, dude.  The only time I ever have monstrous, painful shits are when I've been eating a bunch of dairy products.  I don't eat red meat so there you go.

we call this "lactose intolerance"
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: CajoleJuice on July 04, 2011, 01:44:08 AM
pro-tip: cut down on the red meat and dairy and you won't get so backed up, kids

said like the token hippy mchipster

 ::) It's pretty much common sense, dude.  The only time I ever have monstrous, painful shits are when I've been eating a bunch of dairy products.  I don't eat red meat so there you go.

we call this "lactose intolerance"

:rofl
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 04, 2011, 01:48:14 AM
I'm not lactose intolerant, tho.  Like, I'm talking if I eat like an entire pizza and have a couple bowls of cereal.  All that dairy just turns into a fucking rock.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: The Sceneman on July 04, 2011, 02:21:24 AM
the worst shits in my memory were after I ate Subway. Seriously. The nastiest, stinkiest monsters ever. I'd hate to visit Jared's bathroom.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Bildi on July 04, 2011, 02:49:51 AM
I'm surprised you guys know so intimately how different foods affect the consistency of your faeces.

All I know is beetroot makes my pee red.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 04, 2011, 03:15:34 AM
one thing I hate about asia is that my shit is always a bit loose, not like bangkok belly, but there's almost never a big nice turd like you can get in europe
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Himu on July 04, 2011, 03:54:11 AM
Worst shit I've had in recent months was after a trip to Taco Bell. I was walking home after the "meal" and had to take a monstrous dump. This was just 5 minutes after leaving the place so I walked for like 10-15 minutes before I could to a place that would let me use their restroom.

I was on that toilet for 20 minutes.

Goddamn, never again.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 04, 2011, 04:09:19 AM
Worst shits are when your food was so spicy your ass actually burns when you poo.

I had a hell of a time in India. Worst was that the hotels all had squat toilets, so I couldn't even relax with a bowl of hash or anything.

Squat toilets suck if you wanna relax, but I swear to god chinamen can read a newspaper while taking a dump!

Good thing about squats is that they are more hygienc in public places then sitting toilets.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 04, 2011, 04:12:48 AM
Oh yeah sure, but at least you dont need to touch anything.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 04, 2011, 08:36:22 AM
Squat toilets would never work in America, Land of the Fatties.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 04, 2011, 09:25:41 AM
Oh man I never thought of fat people on a squat toilet lol  :lol

Man I hope they don't visit China!
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Diunx on July 04, 2011, 09:54:41 AM
Squat toilets sounds like something a barbaric culture would use.

I have been to taco bells both in the states and here plenty of times and have never suffered this "taco bell revenge" there is something fucked up with americans digestive system.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 04, 2011, 10:08:42 AM
Id rather squat in a public toilet then sit down on the plastic. Too bad the fact they are easy to clean doesnt mean they are actually clean in asia.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 04, 2011, 10:25:07 AM
Werent you only in Hong Kong?
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on July 04, 2011, 10:25:43 AM
Ever since I stopped eating bread and dairy I shit far less often.  Also, they aren't incredible anymore.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 04, 2011, 10:31:37 AM
You still post a lot of shit though.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on July 04, 2011, 10:33:53 AM
What's the opposite of touche'?  I'll just call you an std infested racist and be on my way.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 04, 2011, 10:36:13 AM
In the time of chimpansee you are a monkey
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on July 04, 2011, 10:43:29 AM
I didn't major in history :lol
But anyway, racist ignorant syphillic sluts aside,  I use to take some glorious bms.  It was kinda a bummer in my last home because the previous owner installed those water conservation toilets.  Would always always get clogged unless you delivered it piecemeal.  Which is equatable with stopping your piss midstream. :(
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: ferrarimanf355 on July 04, 2011, 10:45:14 AM
This thread is a piece of shit.

HEYOOOOOH!  :lol :yuck
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 04, 2011, 11:02:27 AM
Your laughing and the history remark don't even make sense. You prob didnt major in anything so.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 04, 2011, 11:06:42 AM
Will the slut and the autistic kid please quit non-shitting up this thread?  This thread is for talk of actual shit, not your bullshit.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Vertigo on July 04, 2011, 11:18:46 AM
ive gotten shit (lol) all my life for take 20-30 min shits.  sorry people but it feels great and i just wanna relax afterward with a magazine or my computer; sometimes i even hang out with my cat in there.  i shit every morning and right after i get off work like clockwork and unless i ate too much hot food it always feels totally satisfying.

i do have to say tho, ive been constipated a few times in my life and that is some of the worst pain ive ever felt.  for some reason had myself convinced that laxatives were worthless and so i ended up passing a few GIANT shits unassisted.  i dont think any of you guys can accurately imagine what it feels like to shit out something the size and firmness of a baseball but let me tell you IT SUCKS.  i bit into a shampoo bottle, grabbed my feet, and squeezed until it shot out.  afterwards all i could do was scream and flail around until i collapsed from exhaustion and layed on the cold bathroom floor as i felt my asshole slowly shrink back to its regular size.  ever since then i havent hesitated to go grab some lax when i get backed up.

I've only had one case of real constipation and i'll agree and say that the pain is something you'll never forget. I had it from friday to tuesday. I spent the whole weekend feeling like utter crap bloated and my stomach was aching couldn't even sit down properly as my ass hurt. Each time i attempted to go to the toilet the pain was too much and i'd have to give up.

On the tuesday morning i awoke and said lets do this. Imagine a montage sequence with me preparing to get this shit out of me.

I sat on the toilet and began. I strained and sweated and could feel it getting to it's usual point. The pain by now was eye watering but i was adamant it was coming out, after 10 mins of tooing and froing i felt it sliding out as it stretched my ass to an ungodly size and plopped in the bowel, i actually rose my arms in the air and looked back at it. It was huge and looked absolutely solid.

I could hardly walk afterwards, and had to go lie down.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on July 04, 2011, 12:03:19 PM
Will the slut and the autistic kid please quit non-shitting up this thread?  This thread is for talk of actual shit, not your bullshit.

Hey, I'm trying to stay on the topic of passing feces.  I had one of those chocolate ice cream dispenser shits the other day, felt good man.

edit:  Oh one time I was at summercamp and wouldn't shit for a whole week because they didn't have doors on the stalls.  Suffice to say I delivered a positively orange 5 pound mud baby when I got home.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 04, 2011, 01:53:43 PM
Im posting this while i shit
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 04, 2011, 01:54:23 PM
So good im holding some back in
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Diunx on July 04, 2011, 04:47:57 PM
Have taken two shits today so far, will probable take another one when I get home from work.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: The Sceneman on July 04, 2011, 11:28:07 PM
Worst shits are when your food was so spicy your ass actually burns when you poo.


My mum calls that the "ring of fire"
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Joe Molotov on July 04, 2011, 11:32:52 PM
There's nothing worse than being constipated. I mean being well and truly clogged up. It makes you kinda want to die.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: BlueTsunami on July 04, 2011, 11:39:02 PM
The most unsatisfying ones are ghost shits
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 04, 2011, 11:43:58 PM
Eh, the most unsatisfying ones to me are always the first instance of diarrhea, cause it's disgusting, messy to clean up and you know there's probably more where that came from.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: EmCeeGrammar on July 04, 2011, 11:44:52 PM
The most unsatisfying ones are ghost shits

Sometimes I think I have these but then I just give it 5 minutes.  I will have my satisfaction.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Himu on July 04, 2011, 11:47:37 PM
Diarrhea is the worst thing.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 05, 2011, 12:28:35 AM
Diarrhea is the worst thing.

Black and white people agreeing  :o
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Robo on July 05, 2011, 02:38:07 AM
if this was a facebook page, I would like it so hard.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Joe Molotov on July 05, 2011, 02:52:30 AM
if this was a facebook page, I would like it so hard.

Make a facebook page called "Evilbore Talks About Taking a Shit" and then like that.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Himu on July 05, 2011, 03:14:24 AM
Diarrhea is the worst thing.

Black and white people agreeing  :o

All we have left is to embrace the cookie.

(http://i.imgur.com/h7oMC.png)
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: CajoleJuice on July 05, 2011, 03:19:04 AM
(http://somewhatmanlynerd.com/gifs/blackwhitecookie.gif)
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Himu on July 05, 2011, 03:21:58 AM
THE CURE TO RACE RELATIONS
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: BlackMage on July 05, 2011, 09:08:33 AM
the worst kind of shit is when you think you are gonna have a good one, and all that comes out are rabbit pellets.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: naff on July 05, 2011, 09:19:56 AM
Always eat what I want, always have healthy good shits  8)
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Diunx on July 05, 2011, 10:18:08 AM
Where are eb females? I want to read women's perspective on this.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: lennedsay on July 07, 2011, 12:27:04 AM
We don't take shits, sweetheart. Didn't you get the memo?
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Himu on July 07, 2011, 12:33:02 AM
Bullshit. I smell a lady the other day at the greeting card aisle. Your secret's out, honey.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: lennedsay on July 07, 2011, 12:39:09 AM
Was this at Walmart? The things that come out of women in Walmart is the most vile substances ever in existence.  :yuck

At my last job, we had to set up a kiosk in Walmart for awhile and I had to go check on it every day. They placed it across from the bathroom so for the duration of my employees' shifts and my short trips were spent in complete disgust. Evil motherfuckers. When I'd excuse myself to go to the bathroom, I used to tell my employees (who were awesome and I'm still friends with them) that I was going to go take a shit and make it smell better for them.
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: Himu on July 07, 2011, 12:40:46 AM
it was at walgreens :(
Title: Re: Let's talk about how awesome taking a shit is
Post by: lennedsay on July 07, 2011, 12:41:22 AM
 :-\

Nothing's sacred any longer...