THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Joe Molotov on August 18, 2011, 01:04:23 PM

Title: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Joe Molotov on August 18, 2011, 01:04:23 PM
39% and falling.

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Here's a movie that's simultaneously lavishly violent and numbing, visually ornate and undistinguished, epic and shallow, relentlessly noisy and tone-deaf, workmanlike and unfilling.

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Take away much of the myth, most of the sorcery and all of the humor of the 1982 John Milius-Arnold Schwarzenegger version of the sword and sorcery epic "Conan the Barbarian" and you've got an idea what the new "Conan" is like.

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[Momoa] barks and growls his dialogue with the unpracticed enthusiasm of a first-time Ren Fair performer.

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Conan the Barbarian seems to have little interest in '30s pulp stories, and only a little more in cheesy '80s epics.
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Great Rumbler on August 18, 2011, 01:31:22 PM
I'm SHOCKED! Oh wait...no, I'm not.
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Diunx on August 18, 2011, 01:38:39 PM
As long as it has tits and violence I'll watch it.
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Madrun Badrun on August 18, 2011, 01:41:39 PM
and shirtless muscular men you mean. 
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Great Rumbler on August 18, 2011, 01:45:19 PM
Skip Conan, watch this instead:

[youtube=560,345]BCymwapudJ4[/youtube]
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Joe Molotov on August 18, 2011, 02:11:16 PM
Quote from: Diunx on August 18, 2011, 01:38:39 PM
As long as it has tits and violence I'll watch it.

Just (re)watch Game of Thrones or Spartacus.
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Phoenix Dark on August 18, 2011, 02:33:24 PM
Khal Drogo :bow
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: bork on August 18, 2011, 04:06:58 PM
I want to see this, but I know it's going to suck.   :-\
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Phoenix Dark on August 18, 2011, 07:57:13 PM
Momoa is awesome. I hope the film does good so he continues to have success.

[youtube=560,345]1-6_WRDROdM[/youtube]
:bow
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Diunx on August 19, 2011, 03:08:03 AM
His this where drogo gets his first hair bells?
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 20, 2011, 04:39:57 PM
I was pumped when I first saw this preview, then I found out it was a Conan remake..

I was hoping it was GARSHASP THE MOVIE

(http://danesh.cghub.com/files/Image/092001-093000/92593/968_stream.jpg)
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Joe Molotov on August 21, 2011, 10:03:40 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/17Xoz.jpg)
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 21, 2011, 11:28:36 AM
Its totally garshasp, whatshisface was BORN TO BE GARSHASP
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Great Rumbler on August 21, 2011, 01:02:45 PM
la bomba:

Conan the Barbarian
Opening weekend: $10,000,000
Budget: $90,000,000

spoiler (click to show/hide)
The original movie opened at $9.6 million in 1,400 theaters at a ticket price that was about 75% less.
[close]
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Phoenix Dark on August 21, 2011, 01:38:14 PM
holy shit
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on August 23, 2011, 07:09:13 AM
But everybody knows Khal Drogo  :'(
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 23, 2011, 11:26:12 AM
They know that Khal Drogo likes 2 fuk
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Smooth Groove on August 23, 2011, 11:58:23 PM
MAF, did you play Garshasp on the PC?  It looks alright on youtube for a budget game. 
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: etiolate on August 24, 2011, 12:21:48 AM
Quote from: Great Rumbler on August 18, 2011, 01:45:19 PM
Skip Conan, watch this instead:

[youtube=560,345]BCymwapudJ4[/youtube]

yes do this
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: Smooth Groove on August 24, 2011, 12:34:44 AM
Valhalla Rising was alright.  Interesting concept but the symbolism and story meander aimlessly through the last 1/3.  I just sorta lost interest. 
Title: Re: Conan the Barbarian: lol it's terrible! Wait...it's actually GOOD?! j/k it's bad
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 24, 2011, 01:12:51 AM
Yes, played the first level- it was buggy at released but its been patched like crazy so I should go back to it.