THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Van Cruncheon on January 04, 2007, 01:08:49 AM
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Jesus holy hell shit fuck I hate airports. I'm never gonna route through Denver again. Actually, I never want to FLY again. The last flight was delayed for two hours while some reeking hick fixed the divider between first class and the cattle in the back -- that's right, they delayed a flight because the fancy lads didn't wanna smell the stink of the Economy Plus seats and the proles what plumped their fat asses in 'em. Fuck United. Fuck old people, too. This old guy bitched because my daughter GIGGLED when I played peek-a-boo with her on the connecting flight to Sea-Tac. "Tell your kid to keep it down," he said in a constipated tone. I gave him the ANGRY DUDE STARE and since I probably coulda snapped his brittle bones like kindling he kindly fucked off.
Kansas was ungodly boring. Since the in-laws had their house full, me and the wife and the spawn had to stay in her dead grandparents house about five miles further into bumfuck country. I'm not kidding. We had to sleep in this old, slightly rundown ranch house, where her Jew-hating granddad's ghost mistook me for Willco and raped me with his ecto-cock. My in-laws were kinda depressed for some reason, so they sat around watching Rumpole of the Bailey or going to church to ask Jesus to make them feel better about life. (I've seen the first season of Rumpole so many times now I have it memorized. I think I actually kinda like it, now, which has to be some sort of public broadcasting Stockholm Syndrome. Leo Kern pimping abortions in the 70s! Come on! FUCKERS.)
Due to gross packing negligence, I didn't have shit for videogames. I was stuck with the following:
-- a PSP and Untold Legends 2
-- a GBA Micro and Sigma Star Saga (bought for $7 at Wal-Mart)
-- an iPod Video with seasons 2-4 of Blackadder on it
I beat both Untold Legends 2 (not bad, 7/10) and Sigma Star Saga (godawful, 4/10). Yes, I was that bored. Untold Legends 2 is a decent generic Diablo clone with a goofy-ass story. Signma Star Saga is like having your scrotum placed in a mortar-and-pestle operated by a chlamydia-addled Frankenstein's monster. I only beat it because I -- much like demi -- HAD NOTHING BETTER TO DO. My options were reading the Bible (3/10, starts good but gets old quick), reading children's Bible stories, reading Sexual Suicide by some 1960's anti-feminist author, or masturbating in front of my father-in-law. I exhausted the latter option quickly, and proceeded to sleep the rest of the time or watch my daughter when my wife and my mother-in-law went shopping for new rucksacks or moonshine stills or suggestive carvings of catfish copulating with morbidly obese men.
Speaking of videogames and my mother-in-law: she wants a Wii. "You don't have to push any buttons!" she chirruped. "Buttons are confusing!" I'm not shitting you feggits. When I expressed my lack of enthusiasm for my brother-in-law's Wii, she decided that it was not only good but downright HOLY since supernerd programmer son-in-law seemed meh on it. She repeatedly explained to me that you could PLAY WITHOUT PRESSING BUTTONS and I pointed out that bowling in Wii Sports required a button press and she said that didn't count and I kicked her in the post-menopausal ovaries.
Anyway, I am so very glad to be back home with INTERNETS. Kansas is a stank-ass shithole and if you live in the Midwest I hope you get cancer. Good night.
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Speaking of videogames and my mother-in-law: she wants a Wii. "You don't have to push any buttons!" she chirruped. "Buttons are confusing!" I'm not shitting you feggits
...no way
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You're married Chris? wtf
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Way.
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Who are you again? Vestal?
RPGamer gave mother 3 a 4/5 :heartbeat
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Oh, I also watched two Will Farrell movies -- Anchorman and Talladega Nights. How do you shitcockfucks find him funny? There was one actually funny bit in each one: the grace scene in Talladega Nights (until Will's shitty ad-lib style ran the gag into the ground) and the scene where Will's character is forced to eat cat poop in Anchorman -- a scene which was also apparently cut from the theatrical release. Both movies featured predictable non sequitur gags (the talentless fucks what penned the script apparently can make non sequiturs reliably predictable; thanks feggits), hammy acting, and some of the worst comedic timing I've ever endured. Fuck, I'd rather have Marlon and Shawn Wayans london bridge me than endure the sight of Will Farrell shrieking in a girl's voice and running around naked.
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I liked the scene in Anchorman where all the anchors start killing each other.
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I didn't.
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You're married Chris? wtf
I quoted Drinky's post without the quote feature. But I would like to get married some day.
...I still don't believe Nintendo's thing is working.
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I beat both Untold Legends 2 (not bad, 7/10) and Sigma Star Saga (godawful, 4/10). Yes, I was that bored. Untold Legends 2 is a decent generic Diablo clone with a goofy-ass story. Signma Star Saga is like having your scrotum placed in a mortar-and-pestle operated by a chlamydia-addled Frankenstein's monster. I only beat it because I -- much like demi -- HAD NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
Dude you're such a prick. What did I ever do to you?
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Dude, Open Season. Eragon. Cars. Have you rented Happy Feet and played it to completion, yet?
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It's not on 360.
And you forgot Superman Returns.
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and Sonic!
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I didn't get all the achievements though. Some of them are pretty hard, man. I got it in the mail again, gonna finish Shadow and Silver on Hard mode, maybe try to get S rank on their town missions (got Sonic's), then send it off to never be touched again.
It's not my fault either. I put these games at the bottom of my queue, and put good games at the top. They skip the good games and send me the duds. Blame the service!
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DUDE YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO
that's not a criticism; I beat fucking Sigma Star Saga and that's a glass house I don't want on my head
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:rofl
Great posts that were only made better with the knowledge that you had to actually suffer through that redneck torture.
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I don't think I quite like this attitude you've developed towards me.
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:-[
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Send me a free Xbox 360 Premium and/or Vista Ultimate plz.
Plz?
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no, diablos, you're fat and inane
demi and cloud have the currency of charm
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Anyway, I am so very glad to be back home with INTERNETS. Kansas is a stank-ass shithole and if you live in the Midwest I hope you get cancer. Good night.
It's great to have you back, Drinky! This place is nothing without you.
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It's great to have you back, Drinky! This place is nothing without you.
you know, the worst thing about the Midwest is its collective lack of sarcasm. :punch It's good to be back -- bitch!
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What? I'm full of sarcasm. In fact, I'm giving you some right now. I find you an interesting and unique individual, who has a lot to offer.
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you're gonna be full of the pearly swirly here in a jiff, boffo
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Glad you made it back safely.
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Glad you made it back safely.
See? Full of sarcasm. We still got it, dude.
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Nah I was being sincere. Good to see he made it back, as well as his kid.
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PD: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TQCJ9R52
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Dude... rural out of the way places like the swamp you just vacationed in are actually awesome. I wandered into Northern Kittitas County once into some mountains and down this dirt road for miles where I found some secret city of hillbillies, mountain men and beer wenches. We drove dune buggies around and fished in some shit skunk lake for a while before leaving.
That and on the way back I saw some dude with a john deer hat throwing huge bags of manure into this giant machine that just sprays it on everything in sight. Some would occasionally blow back and veil him in a cloud of cow shit. That was like War of the Worlds… only REAL.
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PD: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TQCJ9R52
1999 ALL OVER AGAIN
SO NU SO EDGY
::)
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wow you suck
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Hey Drinky, I closed my bank account because someone used it for identity theft. Can I mail you the 20 dollars for shipping somehow?
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Hey Drinky, I closed my bank account because someone used it for identity theft. Can I mail you the 20 dollars for shipping somehow?
:lol
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What?! :-[
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Welcome back cockface.
Ricky Bobby was pretty goddamned funny, Anchorman was meh.
Maybe is was the blu-ray that made it funny now that I think about it.
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no, diablos, you're fat and inane
Nah.
demi and cloud have the currency of charm
Well then fuck you too!
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Dude... rural out of the way places like the swamp you just vacationed in are actually awesome. I wandered into Northern Kittitas County once into some mountains and down this dirt road for miles where I found some secret city of hillbillies, mountain men and beer wenches. We drove dune buggies around and fished in some shit skunk lake for a while before leaving.
That and on the way back I saw some dude with a john deer hat throwing huge bags of manure into this giant machine that just sprays it on everything in sight. Some would occasionally blow back and veil him in a cloud of cow shit. That was like War of the Worlds… only REAL.
I don't think you understand. Where you went -- it had people. Where I went, it had dead trees and coyotes.
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Himuro, whatever works for ya, bro. I'll send the Saturn on SATURNDAY -- get it AHUAHUAHUAHUAHUHUA lol whatever.
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Jesus holy hell shit fuck I hate airports. I'm never gonna route through Denver again. Actually, I never want to FLY again. The last flight was delayed for two hours while some reeking hick fixed the divider between first class and the cattle in the back -- that's right, they delayed a flight because the fancy lads didn't wanna smell the stink of the Economy Plus seats and the proles what plumped their fat asses in 'em. Fuck United. Fuck old people, too. This old guy bitched because my daughter GIGGLED when I played peek-a-boo with her on the connecting flight to Sea-Tac. "Tell your kid to keep it down," he said in a constipated tone. I gave him the ANGRY DUDE STARE and since I probably coulda snapped his brittle bones like kindling he kindly fucked off.
Kansas was ungodly boring. Since the in-laws had their house full, me and the wife and the spawn had to stay in her dead grandparents house about five miles further into bumfuck country. I'm not kidding. We had to sleep in this old, slightly rundown ranch house, where her Jew-hating granddad's ghost mistook me for Willco and raped me with his ecto-cock. My in-laws were kinda depressed for some reason, so they sat around watching Rumpole of the Bailey or going to church to ask Jesus to make them feel better about life. (I've seen the first season of Rumpole so many times now I have it memorized. I think I actually kinda like it, now, which has to be some sort of public broadcasting Stockholm Syndrome. Leo Kern pimping abortions in the 70s! Come on! FUCKERS.)
Due to gross packing negligence, I didn't have shit for videogames. I was stuck with the following:
-- a PSP and Untold Legends 2
-- a GBA Micro and Sigma Star Saga (bought for $7 at Wal-Mart)
-- an iPod Video with seasons 2-4 of Blackadder on it
I beat both Untold Legends 2 (not bad, 7/10) and Sigma Star Saga (godawful, 4/10). Yes, I was that bored. Untold Legends 2 is a decent generic Diablo clone with a goofy-ass story. Signma Star Saga is like having your scrotum placed in a mortar-and-pestle operated by a chlamydia-addled Frankenstein's monster. I only beat it because I -- much like demi -- HAD NOTHING BETTER TO DO. My options were reading the Bible (3/10, starts good but gets old quick), reading children's Bible stories, reading Sexual Suicide by some 1960's anti-feminist author, or masturbating in front of my father-in-law. I exhausted the latter option quickly, and proceeded to sleep the rest of the time or watch my daughter when my wife and my mother-in-law went shopping for new rucksacks or moonshine stills or suggestive carvings of catfish copulating with morbidly obese men.
Speaking of videogames and my mother-in-law: she wants a Wii. "You don't have to push any buttons!" she chirruped. "Buttons are confusing!" I'm not shitting you feggits. When I expressed my lack of enthusiasm for my brother-in-law's Wii, she decided that it was not only good but downright HOLY since supernerd programmer son-in-law seemed meh on it. She repeatedly explained to me that you could PLAY WITHOUT PRESSING BUTTONS and I pointed out that bowling in Wii Sports required a button press and she said that didn't count and I kicked her in the post-menopausal ovaries.
Anyway, I am so very glad to be back home with INTERNETS. Kansas is a stank-ass shithole and if you live in the Midwest I hope you get cancer. Good night.
The bolded parts made me lol. :lol Welcome back. :D
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Himuro, whatever works for ya, bro. I'll send the Saturn on SATURNDAY -- get it AHUAHUAHUAHUAHUHUA lol whatever.
Pun boi
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The bolded parts made me lol. :lol Welcome back. :D
WTF DONT LAUGH AT MY MISFORTUNE
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I don't think you understand. Where you went -- it had people. Where I went, it had dead trees and coyotes.
Haha, that's awesome.