THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Boogie on May 07, 2012, 09:46:41 PM

Title: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Boogie on May 07, 2012, 09:46:41 PM
This is the most hilarious wannabe site I've ever seen.  Apparently this is a real "mall-security" type company in Canada with delusions of grandeur:

http://federalsecurityagency.ca/fedsec/


Led by the one, the only, Chief of Staff Harry Peckham:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/officialharrypeckham/

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Harry-Peckham-Chief-of-Staff-Federal-Security-Agency/185525241508891


(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6112/6354214885_78a2574642_z.jpg)

(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6036/6332162657_26c1848126_z.jpg)

(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6048/6307025528_055c071fa8_z.jpg)


(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6037/6298747271_ed20095101.jpg)

(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6155/6266391921_0c7a116341.jpg)

Men want to be him, and Women want to be with him. :bow
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on May 07, 2012, 09:59:52 PM
Quote
FEDSEC also provided Close Protection to television and film actress, humanitarian, political activist, fashion designer, model, and philanthropist Ashley Judd

Quote
FEDSEC's Protection Division has recently provided CP to Idris Elba, an English television, theatre, and film actor. He has starred in Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Thor, The Losers and his TV series Luther

Quote
A former U.S. Navy Admiral who is on our Board of Advisors told me about the design for the Navy’s new class of destroyer, the Zumwalt class destroyer (DDG-1000). Three are being built now at a cost of $3.3B per.

Sounds like a pretty good gig.  I think you're just mad that he is getting all of these awesome detail jobs.
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Great Rumbler on May 07, 2012, 10:00:38 PM
FEDSEC
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Boogie on May 07, 2012, 10:03:04 PM
Quote
FEDSEC also provided Close Protection to television and film actress, humanitarian, political activist, fashion designer, model, and philanthropist Ashley Judd

Sounds like a pretty good gig.  I think you're just mad that he is getting all of these awesome detail jobs.

Honestly, I'm considering quitting my job and putting in an application.

FEDSEC  :bow2
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Joe Molotov on May 07, 2012, 10:03:08 PM
I'd FEDSECS Ashley Judd, if you know what I mean.
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: T234 on May 07, 2012, 10:04:43 PM
Motherfucker looks like he couldn't stop a 15 year old wegro much less Canadian MS-13.
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Boogie on May 07, 2012, 10:14:46 PM
Oh, and he's got ROYAL LINEAGE!

http://sorengrau.com/harry2/?page_id=214

Quote
This website was created at the suggestion of my son, Rory, who wanted a published memory of his grandfather, my father, as well as a written record of the Peckham family lineage which dates back to 1027 and King Richard I of England’s 3rd Crusade to Jerusalem, and Rory’s ancestry which dates back to before the birth of Jesus Christ.
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Boogie on May 07, 2012, 10:15:36 PM
Motherfucker looks like he couldn't stop a 15 year old wegro much less Canadian MS-13.

What makes you think we have MS-13 here in Canada, Thor?  :teehee
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Himu on May 07, 2012, 10:21:54 PM
he looks like some weird cross betwen jason bateman and tim allen :wtf
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Boogie on May 07, 2012, 10:22:22 PM
Unfortunately, it seems that there is a dastardly plot afoot to discredit the honourable and necessary work that FEDSEC is doing:

http://www.sootoday.com/content/news/details.asp?c=38890

Quote
Following a year-long investigation, the Ontario Provincial Police (OPP) Anti-Rackets Branch has laid 141 charges under the Private Security & Investigative Services Act (PSISA) against a business entity and two of its directors.

Since February 2011, members of the Provincial Security Enforcement Unit have been conducting an enforcement initiative in the City of Greater Sudbury.

During the initiative, it was determined a security guard was performing uniform security duties while unlicensed at the Sudbury Regional Hospital -- now known as Health Sciences North.

A comprehensive investigation looked into the hiring and training practices of an agency that employed security guards at the hospital and included numerous witness interviews and the execution of two search warrants.

Charged with 47 counts each of employing an unlicensed security guard and failing to provide mandated training pursuant to the Training and Testing Regulation in the PSIS Act are:

• Corporation Number 001685324 - FEDSEC CORPORATION (operating as Federal Security Agency), and;

• Two directors of FEDSEC CORPORATION -  Arthur Harrison Peckham III and Sir Neil M. Shaw.


The investigation is considered concluded and no further charges are contemplated at this time.

Mr. Peckham and Mr. Shaw are expected to appear in court in Sudbury on April 16, 2012.

 :'(
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Bebpo on May 08, 2012, 12:43:29 AM
Yeah, I thought this was a Boogie movin' on up the ass kicking ladder thread.
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Great Rumbler on May 08, 2012, 12:54:34 AM
Wait, that ISN'T Boogie in those pictures? Son I am disappoint.
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Robo on May 08, 2012, 01:48:48 AM
he looks like some weird cross betwen jason bateman and tim allen :wtf

There's someone else in there that I can't quite put my finger on.  Jim Varney?  Marc Summers?
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: chronovore on May 08, 2012, 01:52:09 AM
he looks like some weird cross betwen jason bateman and tim allen :wtf

There's someone else in there that I can't quite put my finger on.  Jim Varney?  Marc Summers?

Harry Shearer?
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Robo on May 08, 2012, 02:08:39 AM
(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6056/6354211905_85a92b55a4_z.jpg)

This one is really bugging me.  He looks identical to someone and I can't come up with the name.
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Howard Alan Treesong on May 08, 2012, 02:16:20 AM
(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6056/6354211905_85a92b55a4_z.jpg)

This one is really bugging me.  He looks identical to someone and I can't come up with the name.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/81/HughLaurie-BertieWooster.jpg/250px-HughLaurie-BertieWooster.jpg)

Hugh Laurie 20 years ago?
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: T234 on May 08, 2012, 02:24:16 AM
Motherfucker looks like he couldn't stop a 15 year old wegro much less Canadian MS-13.

What makes you think we have MS-13 here in Canada, Thor?  :teehee

Coke is twice what it is in America, ain't it? Trust me, there is MS-13 in BC.
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Verdigris Murder on May 08, 2012, 09:15:45 AM
(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6056/6354211905_85a92b55a4_z.jpg)

This one is really bugging me.  He looks identical to someone and I can't come up with the name.
Bottom half Keifer Sutherland, Top half Larry Sanders?
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Eric P on May 08, 2012, 09:18:10 AM
that picture reminds me of Donald Sutherland for some reason
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: The Sceneman on May 08, 2012, 09:24:48 AM
while I'd love to believe FEDSEC is real, that lear jet plane phone shot set off my bullshit detector for some reason
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Human Snorenado on May 08, 2012, 10:16:14 AM
(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6056/6354211905_85a92b55a4_z.jpg)

This one is really bugging me.  He looks identical to someone and I can't come up with the name.

(http://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2008/11/jamesbond-vi.jpg)

It's pretty obvious.
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Barry Egan on May 08, 2012, 10:23:09 AM
He really does look like a Sutherland, which is appropriate I guess.
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Great Rumbler on May 08, 2012, 10:38:30 AM
(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6056/6354211905_85a92b55a4_z.jpg)

This one is really bugging me.  He looks identical to someone and I can't come up with the name.

(http://i.imgur.com/6Aj61.jpg)
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: duckman2000 on May 08, 2012, 10:51:45 AM
(http://www.picktainment.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/johnny-english.png)
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Diunx on May 08, 2012, 10:59:47 AM
(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6056/6354211905_85a92b55a4_z.jpg)

This one is really bugging me.  He looks identical to someone and I can't come up with the name.

Donald Sutherland
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Barry Egan on May 08, 2012, 11:05:39 AM
this thread is too real for me.

edit: wrong thread
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Boogie on May 08, 2012, 11:31:04 AM
I put in an application.

You may also apply through here:

http://www.jobbank.gc.ca/detail-eng.aspx?OrderNum=6395719&Source=JobPosting
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Robo on May 08, 2012, 11:32:34 AM
I put in an application.

I hope you attached some head shots to your cover letter.
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Joe Molotov on May 08, 2012, 11:44:05 AM
Quote
$12.00 to $18.00 Hourly for 10 hours per week

dolla dolla bill, yall
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: Great Rumbler on May 08, 2012, 11:50:35 AM
What's a wegro?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wegro
Title: Re: Are you a Bad enough Dude to join the Federal Security Agency?
Post by: cool breeze on May 08, 2012, 11:55:34 AM
(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6056/6354211905_85a92b55a4_z.jpg)

This one is really bugging me.  He looks identical to someone and I can't come up with the name.

Allison Janney

(http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100512123657/lostpedia/images/0/06/Mother.jpg)