THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: MrAngryFace on May 30, 2012, 02:24:30 PM

Title: Why do people
Post by: MrAngryFace on May 30, 2012, 02:24:30 PM
always show up to my office right after i've farted?  :-\
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Smooth Groove on May 30, 2012, 02:26:25 PM
LOL Can't you ask them to wait a minute?  If not, keep a room spray for emergency. 
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Momo on May 30, 2012, 02:28:40 PM
Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.

Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Phoenix Dark on May 30, 2012, 02:29:08 PM
Keeping room spray is worse

Co-worker: Frebreeze? I didn't know you smoked, MAF
MAF: No I just fart a lot. *ffuuuuuuuuuu*
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Mupepe on May 30, 2012, 02:39:18 PM
Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.

Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.
My wife is weird.  We have a fairly large bedroom and I'll fart while we are both laying on the bed.  Then 10 minutes later she'll respond with "oh my god, did you fart??"  She never smells it when it first happens. 
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Momo on May 30, 2012, 02:45:21 PM
Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.

Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.
My wife is weird.  We have a fairly large bedroom and I'll fart while we are both laying on the bed.  Then 10 minutes later she'll respond with "oh my god, did you fart??"  She never smells it when it first happens. 

I'm sure that everyone has experienced this phenomenon, in which one delivers oneself forth of a silent but potent gaseous emission and then steps rapidly away, only to have the fart cling to one's person. Part of the reason for this annoying characteristic of farts is the turbulence that follows in the wake of a moving person. The fart "slip streams" or is actually pulled along in the farter's direction by the air currents behind the person.

Another factor is that part of the fart is caught in the farter's clothing, and diffuses out slowly after the main part of the emission has dispersed.
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Momo on May 30, 2012, 02:47:43 PM
This page answers like a bunch of fart questions, I stumbled upon it randomly last week

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html (http://www.heptune.com/farts.html)

Great mysteries like these are solved :

Why do farts smell so much worse in a shower than anywhere else?

What would happen if someone farted on Venus?

Is it possible to freeze farts, and would they still be smelly after they are defrosted?

When it is cold outside and you fart, can you see it like you can see your breath?

 :lol
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: MrAngryFace on May 30, 2012, 02:48:47 PM
My issue is more with people appearing to chat usually right after it happens- wtf weirdozzzz
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Beezy on May 30, 2012, 02:49:47 PM
Momo :rofl
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Mupepe on May 30, 2012, 02:50:52 PM
Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.

Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.
My wife is weird.  We have a fairly large bedroom and I'll fart while we are both laying on the bed.  Then 10 minutes later she'll respond with "oh my god, did you fart??"  She never smells it when it first happens. 

I'm sure that everyone has experienced this phenomenon, in which one delivers oneself forth of a silent but potent gaseous emission and then steps rapidly away, only to have the fart cling to one's person. Part of the reason for this annoying characteristic of farts is the turbulence that follows in the wake of a moving person. The fart "slip streams" or is actually pulled along in the farter's direction by the air currents behind the person.

Another factor is that part of the fart is caught in the farter's clothing, and diffuses out slowly after the main part of the emission has dispersed.
but i don't go anywhere. 
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Momo on May 30, 2012, 02:52:40 PM
Ignore the rest the bold part I proposed to apply to your fart lingering thing
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Mupepe on May 30, 2012, 02:55:51 PM
Perhaps it's the blankets on our bed.  They act as a fart net
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Mr. Gundam on May 30, 2012, 03:09:12 PM
Farts, how do they work?
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Eel O'Brian on May 30, 2012, 03:23:01 PM
Why do people always fart just before I come into the room?
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Brehvolution on May 30, 2012, 03:33:08 PM
When someone farts in my house, there are 3 responses:

11yo -  :yuck

9yo - :rofl

6yo -  :-\
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: brawndolicious on May 30, 2012, 03:34:34 PM
I
Perhaps it's the blankets on our bed.  They act as a fart net

There was actually an infomercial for a blanket that has odor-eaters in it. To neutralize your spouse's sleep farts.
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Eel O'Brian on May 30, 2012, 03:35:10 PM
please tell me it was called The Fartknocker™
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Mr. Gundam on May 30, 2012, 03:35:36 PM
please tell me it was called The Fartknocker™

If it's not, you now know how to become a millionaire.
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: BlueTsunami on May 30, 2012, 03:41:27 PM
Worst place I've farted was right after I kissed a bride after the chapel procession I went too (some extended family I hardly know). I had been holding it the whole time inside and the walk outside the building was enough of a struggle. Once I hit the open air my body went into override mode and unloaded a stream of farts each spurting out to the rhythm of my stride. I imagined it being like tactically spraying pepper spray at a choke point. I never looked back.
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Phoenix Dark on May 30, 2012, 04:45:32 PM
When someone farts in my house, there are 3 responses:

11yo -  :yuck

9yo - :rofl

6yo -  :-\

9yo knows wassup :bow
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: MrAngryFace on May 30, 2012, 05:45:33 PM
Why do people always fart just before I come into the room?

:lol
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on May 30, 2012, 08:15:42 PM
Because they
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Barry Egan on May 30, 2012, 09:51:24 PM
you just know MAF is going to end up deleting his accounting because of this thread smh. 
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: MrAngryFace on May 30, 2012, 10:08:10 PM
and ill be all GRRR DEMI WHY U NOT HIDE MY FART LOGIC
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Trent Dole on May 30, 2012, 11:11:04 PM
~*FaRtZ*~
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Himu on May 30, 2012, 11:23:44 PM
When someone farts in my house, there are 3 responses:

11yo -  :yuck

9yo - :rofl

6yo -  :-\

when I was in middle school, we'd have a joke where any time one of us farted, we'd say "safety" that shit never got old.
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: tiesto on May 31, 2012, 08:43:07 AM
When someone farts in my house, there are 3 responses:

11yo -  :yuck

9yo - :rofl

6yo -  :-\

when I was in middle school, we'd have a joke where any time one of us farted, we'd say "safety" that shit never got old.

Yup, I remember "doorknob" and "safety"... then my friend made all these other things like "slugs" (4 extra punches), "kicks" (get kicked a few times), "smurfs" (punch someone till they turn blue)... farting was awesome.
Title: Re: Why do people
Post by: Joe Molotov on May 31, 2012, 08:50:27 AM
Why do people always fart just before I come into the room?

You're the Fart Whisperer.