THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Eschaton on January 15, 2013, 01:27:02 AM

Title: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Eschaton on January 15, 2013, 01:27:02 AM: :nsfw
Inspired by this gem thread :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

http://www.the-coli.com/just-buggin-out/61858-craziest-thing-youve-used-fapping.html#.UPT2MB3LTN4

Sohh, what is it? I'm pretty tame. Only ever used a condom once just cause, and maybe a sock once
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Cormacaroni on January 15, 2013, 01:56:31 AM: a woman
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Beezy on January 15, 2013, 01:59:28 AM: Can't see that thread. :(
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 15, 2013, 03:15:18 AM: I lined the vacuum clear nozzle with vaseline
(http://imageshack.us/a/img853/191/wowpn.png)

the trick is to turn it on for a few seconds, then turn it off, etc. feels more realistic that way
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: TakingBackSunday on January 15, 2013, 04:11:48 AM: sofa cushion
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: etiolate on January 15, 2013, 04:17:20 AM: Icy Hot

never again
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 15, 2013, 04:27:55 AM: Shout out to my EBers who used your thighs, no hands
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: brawndolicious on January 15, 2013, 06:02:09 AM: I remember waking up several times as a teen humping mattresses/pillows. I had such insomnia during sleep-overs.
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on January 15, 2013, 06:46:49 AM: (http://in.all.biz/img/in/catalog/158433.jpeg)

Not sure why, my excuse I guess is that I was in 8th grade and was a huge dumbass. The smell would never completely go away if I washed up afterwards so I reeked of aftershave until I finally dislodged my head from my ass and stopped using it entirely. There were so many girls at my school who had big tits that I couldn't help but jack off constantly once I got home.
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Brehvolution on January 15, 2013, 09:22:17 AM: (http://i37.tinypic.com/3027twj.jpg)
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Don Flamenco on January 15, 2013, 09:38:24 AM: vaseline i guess. I grew up always hearing vaseline jokes, so i thought that was the best to use...and it was good, but a complete goddamn mess that's hard to clean up. Not to mention the telltale oil stains on the playboys...
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: bud on January 15, 2013, 09:39:44 AM: everything i've used as far as i can remember:

lotion
cream
vaseline
oil (olive, vegetable)
soap
conditioner
condom
blanket
my thigh
mattress
sock
shirt

:-[
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Don Flamenco on January 15, 2013, 09:42:12 AM: Quote from: Eschaton on January 15, 2013, 09:40:38 AM
all the jewish kids at camp used to use gold bond

what? like more than once? :lol

that was a prank at my camp. Everyone in on it would agree goldbond is the best to jerk off with, while the mark listens and is convinced to try it.
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 15, 2013, 09:52:43 AM: You guys are some disgusting perverts.
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: king of the internet on January 15, 2013, 09:58:11 AM: I've been jerkin it raw for years now but when I was younger I required lubrication. Long story short, I was in a dire situation and the only lubricant available was hand sanitizer. My dick skin practically melted off afterwards, it was not pretty.
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Mupepe on January 15, 2013, 10:24:13 AM: a tub of margarine. I didn't know what to do with the destroyed mess after I was done. So while the feeling of shame was still creeping hot I threw out into the field behind our house. When we moved a year later my mom decided to walk around the property and make sure there was no trash and she found it. She was perplexed about why a tub of margarine was out there
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 15, 2013, 12:34:19 PM: Quote from: Mupepe on January 15, 2013, 10:24:13 AM
a tub of margarine. I didn't know what to do with the destroyed mess after I was done. So while the feeling of shame was still creeping hot I threw out into the field behind our house. When we moved a year later my mom decided to walk around the property and make sure there was no trash and she found it. She was perplexed about why a tub of margarine was out there

She was even more perplexed by the hole in the margarine that resembled the width and length of a AA battery
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Himu on January 15, 2013, 12:37:27 PM: Quote from: Mupepe on January 15, 2013, 10:24:13 AM
a tub of margarine. I didn't know what to do with the destroyed mess after I was done. So while the feeling of shame was still creeping hot I threw out into the field behind our house. When we moved a year later my mom decided to walk around the property and make sure there was no trash and she found it. She was perplexed about why a tub of margarine was out there

:rofl
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: nudemacusers on January 15, 2013, 12:54:44 PM: Quote from: Mupepe on January 15, 2013, 10:24:13 AM
a tub of margarine. I didn't know what to do with the destroyed mess after I was done. So while the feeling of shame was still creeping hot I threw out into the field behind our house. When we moved a year later my mom decided to walk around the property and make sure there was no trash and she found it. She was perplexed about why a tub of margarine was out there
Man I jerked to sears catalogs but I never stooped to fucking tubs of fake butter.
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on January 15, 2013, 12:58:29 PM: Margarine is pretty stiff too. You must have really been going at it with the tub.
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: MyNameIsMethodis on January 15, 2013, 01:14:17 PM: banana peel
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: nudemacusers on January 15, 2013, 01:54:59 PM: Quote from: The Experiment on January 15, 2013, 12:58:29 PM
Margarine is pretty stiff too. You must have really been going at it with the tub.
Country Crock is pretty smooth IME
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Mupepe on January 15, 2013, 02:12:02 PM: Quote from: Phoenix Dark on January 15, 2013, 12:34:19 PM
Quote from: Mupepe on January 15, 2013, 10:24:13 AM
a tub of margarine. I didn't know what to do with the destroyed mess after I was done. So while the feeling of shame was still creeping hot I threw out into the field behind our house. When we moved a year later my mom decided to walk around the property and make sure there was no trash and she found it. She was perplexed about why a tub of margarine was out there

She was even more perplexed by the hole in the margarine that resembled the width and length of a AA battery
It was like a year later and had been sitting out in the hot texas sun. It was all liquid by then

spoiler (click to show/hide)
and fuck you! :p
[close]

Quote from: The Experiment on January 15, 2013, 12:58:29 PM
Margarine is pretty stiff too. You must have really been going at it with the tub.
To be fair I had to get it going with my finger a bit before I could really get in there. But yeah, I tore it the fuck up.

Even worse than the actual act was the fact that there was really no excuse for it. I was getting laid on a regular basis. It was just a boring summer day in Texas
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: Positive Touch on January 15, 2013, 04:59:46 PM: i knew an old dude who used to tell me about microwaved cantaloupe
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: chronovore on January 16, 2013, 04:05:35 AM: Quote from: Mupepe on January 15, 2013, 02:12:02 PM
Even worse than the actual act was the fact that there was really no excuse for it. I was getting laid on a regular basis. It was just a boring summer day in Texas

One of my friends is a nurse in Cambodia; she says when the locals get TV, the birthrate goes down. People fuck just because they're bored. I wish they'd just wank; less crotchfruit that way.
Title: Re: craziest thing you've ever used for fapping
Post by: brawndolicious on January 16, 2013, 11:20:22 AM: Quote from: Mupepe on January 15, 2013, 10:24:13 AM
a tub of margarine. I didn't know what to do with the destroyed mess after I was done. So while the feeling of shame was still creeping hot I threw out into the field behind our house. When we moved a year later my mom decided to walk around the property and make sure there was no trash and she found it. She was perplexed about why a tub of margarine was out there

Did it make farting sounds or did it go PLOP-PLOP-PLOP?