THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: T234 on March 07, 2013, 11:09:46 AM

Title: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: T234 on March 07, 2013, 11:09:46 AM
Shit has been changing in mah life over the past few months, Real Talk.

1. Kicked a half-ounce of RAW cocaine per day habit.

2. Kissed a broad. On the lips. Felt no stabbing in my foot or burning of my neck, so I think I finally got over getting stabbed in the foot and set on fire all those years ago.

3. Slowed down on my smoking to the point where I enjoy it again. Less than an eighth a day.

4. Gave up my position as ******. Went completely legit.

5. Started a business. I make more money fixing Iphones and computers now for myself then I ever did breaking my back and the law for others.


I feel so good now. On this day last year, I put a pistol in my mouth and the only thing that stopped me from killing myself was the thought that it wouldn't get any worse. I was right.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MCD on March 07, 2013, 11:12:58 AM
Still a virgin.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Momo on March 07, 2013, 11:13:58 AM
2. - what?

3. - i should do that

also yeah my life is changing rather rapidly at the moment, I wont go into too much detail now though
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Diunx on March 07, 2013, 11:16:31 AM
Still the same shitty boring poor life.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: T234 on March 07, 2013, 11:18:15 AM
Still a virgin.

I'm working on it!
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: tiesto on March 07, 2013, 11:26:45 AM
I just found out that they are moving 850 of my company's jobs off the island. I don't know where I stand, because I don't work on either of the 2 programs that are moving... I work in a small group that supports all the different programs (we've always been a bit of a "redheaded stepchild" organization - people forget about us until they REALLY need us). But it's not looking too good, since they want to totally consolidate the LI campus. I have a few months of work that won't be affected by the change... but I've been getting my resume in order, bought a book on "tech interview questions" and have been perusing Indeed/CareerBuilder/Monster. I'm definitely freaking out since I just bought my place and don't have too much cash at the moment... also been at this company for 9 years too so it will be a MAJOR change. I'm worried that my skill set won't be too relevant, since I never really focus on one area (I've done everything from C++ to C# to making multimedia presentations and deriving requirements/systems engineering) and I don't consider myself an amazing genius-level coder :P
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Brehvolution on March 07, 2013, 11:31:40 AM
A buddy of my boss is making a killing fixing iPhones and changing their colors. He bought a BMW M6 a couple months ago.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 07, 2013, 11:38:44 AM
This is random, but I'm going to say it anyway. I want a remake of the Odd Couple starring Boogie and Thor. They could live in a log cabin up in the Blue Ridge Mountains, and then maybe in the second season they have to move to the Yukon and live in an igloo. I'd definitely watch that.

"It's not Aurora Indica, it's Californian Skunk!"

"And now it's garbage!"
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: T234 on March 07, 2013, 11:43:30 AM
If I lived in a more populous area, I'd get rich as fuck real quick like. Turns out people break Iphones like it is going outta style.


This is random, but I'm going to say it anyway. I want a remake of the Odd Couple starring Boogie and Thor. They could live in a log cabin up in the Blue Ridge Mountains, and then maybe in the second season they have to move to the Yukon and live in an igloo. I'd definitely watch that.

Best hour of TV you ever saw, GUARANTEED.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on March 07, 2013, 12:49:56 PM
You could move to an area like that T!
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 07, 2013, 01:01:24 PM
Going back to school.  Got about a year left.  Have given up every childish hobby I have other than video games, lost about 10-15 pounds (but still need to lose way more) and in general have been making positive life choices.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Barry Egan on March 07, 2013, 01:10:22 PM
Starting the process to head back to school.  In the middle of a GRE course, building up a network, arranging admissions appointments, etc.  pretty excited. 
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 07, 2013, 04:02:37 PM
I'm the father of a 1-year old daughter. That's a pretty big life event.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on March 07, 2013, 04:14:08 PM
I'm the father of a 1-year old daughter. That's a pretty big life event.

:bow :bow2
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 07, 2013, 05:31:47 PM
I'm the father of a 1-year old daughter. That's a pretty big life event.

Going back to school.  Got about a year left.  Have given up every childish hobby I have other than video games, lost about 10-15 pounds (but still need to lose way more) and in general have been making positive life choices.
:rejoice  grats my brothers :rejoice

I have a nice job, finishing school, and I'm doing an internship. Feels good man

Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Polari on March 07, 2013, 05:35:07 PM
Nope. Still in grad school, still getting rejected from jobs on a regular basis. Feels good man. Thinking I should probably just hack a leg off and spend my days smoking weed and collecting the sickness benefit.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Beezy on March 07, 2013, 05:39:15 PM
No. Still working not enough hours at these two temp jobs. Still going to interviews and not getting called back.

I haven't gotten fat/chubby or anything, but I've been slacking hard on eating right and working out the past few months. Cormac would be ashamed of me.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 07, 2013, 05:41:11 PM
Best change is also that my brother's Peace Corps time ends this year so I'll get to see him soon :rejoice
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on March 07, 2013, 06:56:51 PM
Yep, flyin high.

- Got all of my letters of recommendation lined up for my MBA, all of them from Vice Presidents.
- Getting involved in senior leadership committees at work
- I had sex with an attractive woman twice in the past week
- Debt free and loving it
- Fapping to more porn than ever.  Almost nothing but Eastern European women with big titties.

10 years ago, I never thought any of this was possible.  In fact, at 18, I was convinced that I would have killed myself far before turning 28.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 07, 2013, 07:39:25 PM
No. Still working not enough hours at these two temp jobs. Still going to interviews and not getting called back.

I haven't gotten fat/chubby or anything, but I've been slacking hard on eating right and working out the past few months. Cormac would be ashamed of me.

 :noah
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: demi on March 07, 2013, 07:42:52 PM
I don't consider myself an amazing genius-level coder :P

Don't worry, neither are they. Just convince them that you are.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Beezy on March 07, 2013, 07:49:00 PM
No. Still working not enough hours at these two temp jobs. Still going to interviews and not getting called back.

I haven't gotten fat/chubby or anything, but I've been slacking hard on eating right and working out the past few months. Cormac would be ashamed of me.

 :noah
:sadbron
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on March 07, 2013, 09:26:07 PM
I just found out that they are moving 850 of my company's jobs off the island. I don't know where I stand, because I don't work on either of the 2 programs that are moving... I work in a small group that supports all the different programs (we've always been a bit of a "redheaded stepchild" organization - people forget about us until they REALLY need us). But it's not looking too good, since they want to totally consolidate the LI campus. I have a few months of work that won't be affected by the change... but I've been getting my resume in order, bought a book on "tech interview questions" and have been perusing Indeed/CareerBuilder/Monster. I'm definitely freaking out since I just bought my place and don't have too much cash at the moment... also been at this company for 9 years too so it will be a MAJOR change. I'm worried that my skill set won't be too relevant, since I never really focus on one area (I've done everything from C++ to C# to making multimedia presentations and deriving requirements/systems engineering) and I don't consider myself an amazing genius-level coder :P

You are probably in decent shape.  Masters Degree, worked in the defense industry, that is actually a pretty strong background.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 07, 2013, 09:26:59 PM
Not in Obama's America
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 07, 2013, 09:42:59 PM
Things are going ok I spose. Drinking again which is fun and a good way to forget the things that make my life seem kinda lame.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: tiesto on March 07, 2013, 09:45:46 PM
Yep, flyin high.

- Got all of my letters of recommendation lined up for my MBA, all of them from Vice Presidents.
- Getting involved in senior leadership committees at work
- I had sex with an attractive woman twice in the past week
- Debt free and loving it
- Fapping to more porn than ever.  Almost nothing but Eastern European women with big titties.

10 years ago, I never thought any of this was possible.  In fact, at 18, I was convinced that I would have killed myself far before turning 28.

Links? Names?

Sounds good on your end though!
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 07, 2013, 11:24:57 PM
congrats, thor! WELL DONE.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: BlackMage on March 07, 2013, 11:48:31 PM
Moving into a new place/About to fuck a ton of bitches.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Beezy on March 07, 2013, 11:49:56 PM
Moving into a new place/About to fuck a ton of bitches.
(http://i.imgur.com/KtqgO.jpg)
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: king of the internet on March 08, 2013, 12:09:59 AM
why yes

but almost any change is better than stagnation

embrace that shit
Title: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Huff on March 08, 2013, 12:25:56 AM
I've tried an failed to give up both alcohol and tobacco this year. I have stuck with a decent diet and a regular runnin schedule so in order to prepare for a 1/2 marathon. So I'm happy with my progress but not ecstatic.

Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 08, 2013, 01:02:10 PM
I've tried an failed to give up both alcohol and tobacco this year. I have stuck with a decent diet and a regular runnin schedule so in order to prepare for a 1/2 marathon. So I'm happy with my progress but not ecstatic.

Right on, man!
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Don Flamenco on March 08, 2013, 01:05:57 PM
I kinda feel like i've been in transition for 4 years now and I'm getting super tired of it...
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 08, 2013, 01:08:55 PM
I kinda feel like i've been in transition for 4 years now and I'm getting super tired of it...

Sounds like being an adult.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mupepe on March 08, 2013, 02:29:31 PM
I've been transitioning into a new role in my job.  One that I actually find interesting.  I can actually say I love my job now.  I took responsibility for the stall that my career took because of a lack of initiative on my part.  That played a huge part in my management taking notice and giving me better work. 

I've made huge strides over the past year or two to actually start planning for my financial future and do something constructive/responsible with my money instead of just spending on a whim.  It means I spend less but I feel better and more secure. 

Over the last year I've lost 90 lbs that I had gained in the 3 previous years. 

Feels pretty good.  So basically I've grown up (somewhat? lulz).
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: lennedsay on March 08, 2013, 06:10:04 PM
For the last 18 months, my body has provided nearly all nourishment for another human. I have grown her from a tiny little cell to a 17lb child.

So there's that.

Also, we've realized that we have friends and family who want to be around us and others who are around because it was convenient. Having a kid has pretty much weeded out who our real friends/supportive family are. A few tough realizations but its nice knowing that we are now spending what little free time we have with people who actually care about us.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Steve Contra on March 08, 2013, 06:13:55 PM
At a point where self imposed slave labor at my small business is about to pay off, so there's that.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 08, 2013, 06:14:42 PM
Yeah, everyone likes the baby photos, no one actually wants to spend time with you if they are around
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Steve Contra on March 08, 2013, 06:16:45 PM
I told my wife's grandma that the reason I didn't want kids is because I don't really...like kids.  That was interesting.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: lennedsay on March 08, 2013, 06:36:25 PM
Yeah, everyone likes the baby photos, no one actually wants to spend time with you if they are around

Ok
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: DCharlieJP on March 08, 2013, 07:38:42 PM
Yes - basically since 2010 i've been "well, next year can't be any worse" and each year has been progressively worse.

Current situation is pretty exciting but stressful

We now have two kids - a very time consuming 4 year old
and a fairly placid but constantly yarping 3 month old

I'm seeing out my gardening leave and after having full time employment since 1997 i'm enjoying not having to worry about my previous role. Now it's just the fun of finding something new - it's pretty exciting and i have a substantial buffer so i have a large degree of freedom to maybe study, change industry, or perhaps just sit on my but for a few years. But it's been a HUGE change. I was warned by someone else who left the industry that i'd have what was a very basic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - and i did for about 4 weeks. I'd forgotten what it was like to not be worrying about something.

So - anyways - in short :

> looking for work
> now have two kids

Fun times.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Akala on March 08, 2013, 07:51:36 PM
stopped giving a fuck and ended up with a huge promotion somehow. now I have to give a fuck because it's a great job, but I guess balance that with the fact that they kind of wanted someone who doesn't give a fuck? eh.

 :mindblown

when I was younger I was always against 'selling out' etc. but I guess I'd rather be fake than be either useless or poor.
Title: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Huff on March 08, 2013, 07:59:42 PM
I've tried an failed to give up both alcohol and tobacco this year. I have stuck with a decent diet and a regular runnin schedule so in order to prepare for a 1/2 marathon. So I'm happy with my progress but not ecstatic.

Right on, man!

You a runner, gundam?
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 08, 2013, 08:30:23 PM
Yeah, everyone likes the baby photos, no one actually wants to spend time with you if they are around

Ok

this is not your experience? My kid is 5 and most of my friends haven't ever met her
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: DCharlieJP on March 08, 2013, 09:56:51 PM
Yeah, everyone likes the baby photos, no one actually wants to spend time with you if they are around

Ok

this is not your experience? My kid is 5 and most of my friends haven't ever met her

yup - i feel guilty that i've not seen most friends kids - then again, i feel guilty i've not seen most -friends- recently either :/

I don't think anyone has seen Pepe since he could talk, no one has met Lourenco at all i don't think. Then again, the wife and I are now basically miserable shut-ins so that's us rather than anyone else.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: lennedsay on March 08, 2013, 10:20:54 PM
Yeah, everyone likes the baby photos, no one actually wants to spend time with you if they are around

Ok

this is not your experience? My kid is 5 and most of my friends haven't ever met her

No? We had random people we hadn't seen in months or years come out of the woodwork to come see the baby and start hanging out more. We have friends we still see at least weekly. Particularly one married couple with a kid on the way and another is a single guy who is beyond ready to settle down and have kids of his own. Then we have other people we see every few weeks or monthly who we would see more often if we all had more time. The kid is always with us, and our friends specifically request we bring her.

The only people who come around less now that we had a kid are his parents and my best friend who flaked out on everybody about a year ago, and a married couple who had kids and became hermits. Then there's the random people we never hung out with regularly before, so that doesn't really count.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 08, 2013, 10:21:11 PM
DC - given that i've invited you and the lad over...yes, yes it is ;)
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 08, 2013, 10:23:54 PM
lennedsay - Not sure where you live but DC and I live in Tokyo, where there is ALWAYS something more interesting to do than hang out with your lame middle-aged friends and their kid and their wife. That's part of it. Travelling across town with kids is also a pain, which makes playdates or whatever they're called difficult. Also, I'm an asshole and so are my friends
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: lennedsay on March 08, 2013, 10:33:19 PM
Well that is true, you are an asshole.

We actually love our friends, and they like us. They are our only family here besides my parents. Luckily our kid isn't an asshole and we don't treat her like a hindrance to our fun-havin, so we all go to festivals or restaurants or whatever and she just comes with us.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Steve Youngblood on March 08, 2013, 10:33:20 PM
The main problem I find with a kid is that taking him anywhere is a pain in the ass. So, we go out when we can find a sitter, but that precludes being overly flexible. The overwhelming majority of our friends don't have kids, and the popular spots aren't kid friendly. Even other people's houses can prove to be a pain when you realize that people that don't have kids don't baby proof their house. And even restaurants during normal dining hours stopped being viable about six months ago because he's incapable of sitting still in a high chair for any period of time.

Now, friends still come over from time to time, but mainly just for the more laid back stuff that is available. Board game night? Sure, we can get people to come over. But just a general "hey, let's hit the town! I'm open to ideas!" kind of night? "How about my house? We'll have to keep it down after nine when the kid goes to bed, but other than that, it'll be fine! I'll get up an 18 pack!" It's... not the most compelling sell.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 08, 2013, 10:38:20 PM
Well that is true, you are an asshole.

We actually love our friends, and they like us. They are our only family here besides my parents. Luckily our kid isn't an asshole and we don't treat her like a hindrance to our fun-havin, so we all go to festivals or restaurants or whatever and she just comes with us.

thank you, i've worked hard to become so
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Atramental on March 08, 2013, 11:05:50 PM
-Going to graduate from college in 2 months
-After 3 months I should be working full-time at the web design firm I'm currently working at part-time.
-I'll be moving out of my parents' house and into my own apartment within 3 months as well.

That's about it for me.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 08, 2013, 11:08:58 PM
Well that is true, you are an asshole.

We actually love our friends, and they like us. They are our only family here besides my parents. Luckily our kid isn't an asshole and we don't treat her like a hindrance to our fun-havin, so we all go to festivals or restaurants or whatever and she just comes with us.

thank you, i've worked hard to become so

You had to work at it :lol
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Boogie on March 10, 2013, 09:17:28 PM
Not much change in the professional life, just keeping on.  Hit five years of service a month ago and did the whole "holy shit, I can't believe it's been five years already" thing.

Found out on Friday that I'm going to be an uncle again.  This time via my youngest brother, who's 23.  So I'm the oldest of three, and come October will be the only one without kids.  So yeah, that's weird.

oh, and I'm totally down for the Boogie and Thor Odd Couple hour. :P
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Dickie Dee on March 10, 2013, 09:42:29 PM
Finally got sober 8months ago...
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 10, 2013, 09:53:07 PM
Cormac is on a strict "fuck yo kids, nicca" policy
 :win
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 10, 2013, 10:20:36 PM
I've tried an failed to give up both alcohol and tobacco this year. I have stuck with a decent diet and a regular runnin schedule so in order to prepare for a 1/2 marathon. So I'm happy with my progress but not ecstatic.

Right on, man!

You a runner, gundam?

Yeah, I am. I'm not a crazy runner or anything, but I run four to five times a week at least three miles each time. I run one half-marathon every year to kick off the summer.

Yeah, everyone likes the baby photos, no one actually wants to spend time with you if they are around

Ok

this is not your experience? My kid is 5 and most of my friends haven't ever met her

I honestly can't think of a single friend of ours that hasn't met Addie. We still get together with friends at least four to five times a month. Although it helps that other people are pregnant/have kids/don't want kids but are cool with us having kids. As for going out, we only take her places where it's appropriate to take a kid, so we get a sitter for movies, nicer restaurants, bars, etc. Also, breweries in Seattle are kid friendly, which is really nice.

We also have a monthly girls/guys night event where we take turns watching the kids so the opposite sex can get wasted/whatever.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: ToxicAdam on March 10, 2013, 10:45:25 PM
Life is good, but that existential crisis thing never goes away. It's always there whispering in your ear.

I just can't bring myself to fully delude myself and invest all my self-worth into my children. That seems to be the go to move to overcome it.


(http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/108-i-hate-monday-12-06668eec-sz412x488-animate.jpg?w=500&h=592)

Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 10, 2013, 10:47:24 PM
There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids.

Life is good, but that existential crisis thing never goes away. It's always there whispering in your ear.

Yep. I'm happy with life but I still have that pop up from time to time.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 10, 2013, 10:52:28 PM
Haha, you guys only have to deal with that fucker "from time to time," he should be paying rent for living in my goddamn head 24/7.  I am a human avatar of self-doubt.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 10, 2013, 10:56:45 PM
There are a few other issues...most of my friends are English-speakers, and the pool regularly gets drained as folks return to their home countries. I've lost more friends that way than most people have, I bet. So you have to be constantly making new friends, and that's tough at 40. I don't have to tell you how social I am so this is hard for me to deal with.

My wife doesn't speak English (and thus is basically disinterested in hanging out with my friends) and is an insane workaholic, meaning I babysit at least 6 days a week til 9 at night. Sitters don't exist here. I can go out in theory any time I want, but there is a lot of pressure not to from both wife and kid.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 10, 2013, 11:03:49 PM
There are a few other issues...most of my friends are English-speakers, and the pool regularly gets drained as folks return to their home countries. I've lost more friends that way than most people have, I bet. So you have to be constantly making new friends, and that's tough at 40. I don't have to tell you how social I am so this is hard for me to deal with.

My wife doesn't speak English (and thus is basically disinterested in hanging out with my friends) and is an insane workaholic, meaning I babysit at least 6 days a week til 9 at night. Sitters don't exist here. I can go out in theory any time I want, but there is a lot of pressure not to from both wife and kid.

Yeah, I got nothing. Sorry, man.   :(
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 10, 2013, 11:42:56 PM
Haha, you guys only have to deal with that fucker "from time to time," he should be paying rent for living in my goddamn head 24/7.  I am a human avatar of self-doubt.

alcohol shuts him up. I booze up between Work episodes- my brain is either too busy to be horrible or too out of it to be horrible. It'll work until I kick it or something changes.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: chronovore on March 11, 2013, 12:05:15 AM
I left my job last November; this is the first time I've had more than a week off in over 18 years in games. It's been strange. I've recently figured out that I'm stressed because I don't know what to do with myself.

I'm starting a comic project with a friend in California, working up a design document for a friend's startup, and a company logo for another friend's startup. Should tide me over for a bit.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: T234 on March 12, 2013, 11:39:35 AM
Haha, you guys only have to deal with that fucker "from time to time," he should be paying rent for living in my goddamn head 24/7.  I am a human avatar of self-doubt.

alcohol shuts him up. I booze up between Work episodes- my brain is either too busy to be horrible or too out of it to be horrible. It'll work until I kick it or something changes.

Greenery is better for you and is L-E-G-A-L there MAF. Booze does a number on the liver.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 12, 2013, 12:37:36 PM
Thor, let's move to WA.  You can fix iphones and I can open a murder for hire business.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Don Flamenco on March 12, 2013, 01:17:34 PM
I kinda feel like i've been in transition for 4 years now and I'm getting super tired of it...

Sounds like being an adult.


could be true!   

Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: TakingBackSunday on March 12, 2013, 01:27:39 PM
When did MAF turn into an alcoholic?  :lol

Things are a little weird for me right now...since November, I've been fully self-supporting.  Rent, insurance, bills, food, everything,  Cut ties with my parents (mutually and healthily) financially, so basically that means I've had very little spending money/fun money.  That's okay though, I don't mind.

Getting a promotion at work this may.  Head Project Manager for a mobile application company that handles pretty much every single music festival in America (soon the world!).  Gonna be traveling a LOT: Vegas, Dallas, NYC, LA, everywhere.  Can't wait for that.

I've gained weight then lost some of it, which is weird considering I was a 6'1, 127lb high schooler.  Now I'm a 6'1, 173lb young adult.  It's weird getting used to...no clothes fit me anymore.

Still single, but dating frequently.  It's fun.  I don't really think I need a steady girl at this point in my life, I feel like I wouldn't be able to feel assed to make time for her, as bad as that sounds.  Work and this last class for school take up all my time.  Does that make me a shitty guy?  Eh.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 12, 2013, 01:50:32 PM
I think my love of beer rubbed off on MAF.  :(
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Don Flamenco on March 12, 2013, 04:02:05 PM
Just quit my 12 hour a day job in Saudi to prepare for my US return roughly a month from now. It was stressing me the fuck out for a long time and now I paid off my dad's medical bills, the debt we owed for the house, the holds I had on my schooling account and books and other past debts and stuff. So I'm officially debt free and my family is officially debt free, I also have enough money in savings to get a car in the US and start paying rent for houses, not shitty apartments. I think I've managed something I never thought I could, I paid my parents back for everything short of them conceiving me, which I try not to think about.

Found a girl I really like who likes me back. I communicate with her almost all the time and when we aren;t speaking its mostly due to priorities. Too bad I can't fly her out to the US with me but that's OK, I'm not doing long distance but I'm sure me and her will keep in touch. I won't be dating anyone seriously in my return, I don't think I'd want to focus on someone so much when I'm still young and should be having fun.

I started cooking for myself more and more, I think I can make some good stuff now. I've been actively working out daily as well and have went from weighing 120 KG to 82 KG since September.

Its been good, I would like to thank the bore for keeping me sane and occupied during my most stressful and nerve racking moments of the past 7 months. Thank you guys for everything!



Just don't be surprised when you get here to find that everybody takes everything completely for granted
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Dickie Dee on March 12, 2013, 06:01:12 PM
Wraith had to share a Pakistani with his brother

:saudicry
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 12, 2013, 06:39:05 PM
:lol Saudis have no concept of socio-economic classes.

Someone sounds butthurt. Although I suppose our foreign policy would have been better if we responded to 911 (majority of the hijackers were Saudi) by trolling Saudis online instead of invading Iraq.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on March 12, 2013, 07:14:35 PM
I'm pretty sure Wrath said his dad draws over a million dollar salary at Aramco but something about having to give a bunch of money to mooching relatives means they don't have shit...or something.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 12, 2013, 07:19:55 PM
One of my friend's dads in middle school earned a decent salary but he basically had alimony to pay and supported the rest of his family, including his parents and siblings who also lived in the house.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 12, 2013, 08:28:50 PM
I think my love of beer rubbed off on MAF.  :(

Pff, you shoulda seen me when I was drinking hard liquor. Beer is definitely a lesser of the two evils kinda thing. Gotta deal with stress somehow.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 12, 2013, 09:14:50 PM
That's the nice thing about beer, you can get PRETTY close to full on drunk and TOTALLY miss the boat. Whiskey, Vodka, Scotch, you can totally miss a chance to get off the ride before it starts. I mean if youre a person that drinks to deal with stress,  an appreciation for craft beer is the way to go IMO. The price keeps you from walking out with a 24 pack, and the proof keeps you happy.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 12, 2013, 09:40:17 PM
what is an existental crisis
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 12, 2013, 09:47:38 PM
Imagine a world without cool motorcycles or trolling people and you are there
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 12, 2013, 09:49:24 PM
what a bad place, why do you visit it
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 12, 2013, 09:50:05 PM
Imagine a world without cool motorcycles or trolling people and you are there

And no computers, too
(http://tinyurl.com/b4jbj34)
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 12, 2013, 09:51:56 PM
If I didn't have my job id totally be up in existential crisis-ville. Thankfully a crushing sensation of guilt and obligation keeps me going.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on March 12, 2013, 10:18:01 PM
These days, more beer I drink, the more I hate it.  10 years ago, I pounded down Miller High Life - The Champagne of Beers like it was nothing.

:bow 30 cans of beer for $15 :bow2
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 12, 2013, 10:26:23 PM
ugh wtf man- drink something good :(
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 12, 2013, 11:01:49 PM
what is an existental crisis

days that end in y
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 12, 2013, 11:05:52 PM
I will say that I smoked some really good weed Saturday night and it felt GREAT.  Too bad I can't develop a habit of smoking on the regular.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 12, 2013, 11:06:37 PM
what is an existental crisis

days that end in y

fuckin WORD. I know there's this big crusade against single people complaining, but GOD DAMN is it hard to believe you have a place in the universe when its just you. It takes an EGO of massive proportions
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: etiolate on March 12, 2013, 11:09:11 PM
I have actually been too stressed to drink lately.

That's probably more pathetic than I realize.

HOWS EVAH

I do agree that a high quality ale of the 32 oz variety will get you a relaxing buzz.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 12, 2013, 11:17:25 PM
fuckin rite. Classic craft beer is the only way to be depressed
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Positive Touch on March 12, 2013, 11:49:22 PM
These days, more beer I drink, the more I hate it.  10 years ago, I pounded down Miller High Life - The Champagne of Beers like it was nothing.

:bow 30 cans of beer for $15 :bow2

:rock used to end each day with a beautiful can of STAG. so delicious
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 12, 2013, 11:55:39 PM
the major life changes sure petered out
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 13, 2013, 12:09:18 AM
i'm terrible at guitar. But I can shred. Those statements are not mutually exclusive.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 13, 2013, 12:22:43 AM
nothins forever
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 13, 2013, 12:24:50 AM
what is an existental crisis

days that end in y

fuckin WORD. I know there's this big crusade against single people complaining, but GOD DAMN is it hard to believe you have a place in the universe when its just you. It takes an EGO of massive proportions

Yeah, I'm going through something along those lines these days... there's an awesome lady friend who feels the same way about me, but she's in Atlanta, I'm up here in NC for the next year+ finishing school and she's not leaving town when all of her work/friends and shit are down there.  So we're in this awkward limbo thing where we see each other once a month if we're lucky and it's just weird.

Plus, up here I don't really have any friends or anything like that- I live about 20 minutes outside of Asheville in a small town and the only people I regularly see outside of school are my mother, sister and nephew, all of whom are either annoying or terrible people, or in the case of my sister both.  It's been gradually wearing me down to the point where I think I might actually need to talk to a shrink or something, feeling very isolated and bleak lately.

Oscar- being a shut in's not so bad.  Look at me!
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 13, 2013, 12:29:25 AM
all my friends re wayyyy married and im antisocial due to an arguably healthy lack of trust in human nature - I hear ya
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 12:39:02 AM
what is an existental crisis

days that end in y

fuckin WORD. I know there's this big crusade against single people complaining, but GOD DAMN is it hard to believe you have a place in the universe when its just you. It takes an EGO of massive proportions

i don't believe i have a place in the universe as that would make no sense

good god i love asperger's some times

wait, what is this crusade against single people complaining? i'm starting to think maybe "single people" are developing a paranoid egocentrism. (i don't care if people complain. if projecting one's misery into the ether has a net positive effect on one's life, DO IT! i do crusade against homework, though.)
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 12:43:20 AM
People believe in having a place in the universe post high school?
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 12:50:38 AM
the universe is pretty big and remorseless! what folks mean by "existential crisis" i assume is "i don't wake up in the morning and have my existence confirmed in the eyes of another human being" which is an understandably maudlin condition but doesn't really change the facts that NOBODY MATTERS, SELF-WORTH IS A CULTURAL ILLUSION, and WE ALL DIE BADLY. i dunno, i've been cool with those factoids for awhile, and i can't imagine doubting one's own existence. well, i suppose i can, but the ability to alter my own physical nature would mean that i can potentially parameterize reality and if that's the case WATCH OUT MOTHERFUCKERS

now let's all go make spreadsheets and help opiate on gaf create new foundational protocols for humanlike interactions
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Rufus on March 13, 2013, 12:52:19 AM
I get what he means. Just substitute universe for society. I'm not useful to anybody besides maybe my mother, but we don't have much of a relationship past being related. So I'm really rather redundant, which usually doesn't bother me, because I have other shit to think about. When I don't, I get hung up on that and fall into a bit of a hole.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 12:55:56 AM
the universe is pretty big and remorseless! what folks mean by "existential crisis" i assume is "i don't wake up in the morning and have my existence confirmed in the eyes of another human being" which is an understandably maudlin condition but doesn't really change the facts that NOBODY MATTERS, SELF-WORTH IS A CULTURAL ILLUSION, and WE ALL DIE BADLY. i dunno, i've been cool with those factoids for awhile, and i can't imagine doubting one's own existence. well, i suppose i can, but the ability to alter my own physical nature would mean that i can potentially parameterize reality and if that's the case WATCH OUT MOTHERFUCKERS

now let's all go make spreadsheets and help opiate on gaf create new foundational protocols for humanlike interactions

The only thing I doubt sometimes is how we're basically worker drones and if we're lucky we get a retirement and then that's it. So I don't get too down on folks who feel disillusioned by that.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 12:58:39 AM
I get what he means. Just substitute universe for society. I'm not useful to anybody besides maybe my mother, but we don't have much of a relationship past being related. So I'm really rather redundant, which usually doesn't bother me, because I have other shit to think about. When I don't, I get hung up on that and fall into a bit of a hole.

we're ALL redundant. the world doesn't give a shit. society may, but society is relativistic, hypocritical, and -- most importantly -- wholly arbitrary.  "usefulness" and "relevance" are matters of luck, or at least of factors almost entirely outside your influence. might as well claim you aren't useful or relevant to an ocean. if you prefer the egocentrism that is a life lived where your perception and that of others dictates your reality, well, that's human nature, but it doesn't actually CHANGE a thing.

personally, i'm content to exist. i did when i was single, i do while i am married, and i will up until my scrotum gets lit on fire by an angry single person tired of me appearing smug and self-assured. (that doesn't mean i don't get depressed, or manic, or enraged, or disillusioned, or utterly fucking appalled at the general senselessness of it all of an occasion; it just means i don't do so in some HOLISTIC capacity. i don't revisit wounds, self-inflicted or otherwise, as though the familiar pains will give me meaning.)
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 01:04:07 AM
now let's all go make spreadsheets and help opiate on gaf create new foundational protocols for humanlike interactions
Were we not supposed to already be doing this?
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 13, 2013, 01:07:14 AM
what is an existental crisis

days that end in y

fuckin WORD. I know there's this big crusade against single people complaining, but GOD DAMN is it hard to believe you have a place in the universe when its just you. It takes an EGO of massive proportions

i don't believe i have a place in the universe as that would make no sense

good god i love asperger's some times

wait, what is this crusade against single people complaining? i'm starting to think maybe "single people" are developing a paranoid egocentrism. (i don't care if people complain. if projecting one's misery into the ether has a net positive effect on one's life, DO IT! i do crusade against homework, though.)


Im personally tired of the idea that single life is fucking awesome past 25. think of it what you will but it pisses me off. Label it how you want but that just pisses ME off. Something you probably don't care about but GOD FORBID a person who lives alone thinks about themselves.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Rufus on March 13, 2013, 01:07:16 AM
I get what he means. Just substitute universe for society. I'm not useful to anybody besides maybe my mother, but we don't have much of a relationship past being related. So I'm really rather redundant, which usually doesn't bother me, because I have other shit to think about. When I don't, I get hung up on that and fall into a bit of a hole.

we're ALL redundant. the world doesn't give a shit. society may, but society is relativistic, hypocritical, and -- most importantly -- wholly arbitrary.  "usefulness" and "relevance" are matters of luck, or at least of factors almost entirely outside your influence. might as well claim you aren't useful or relevant to an ocean. if you prefer the egocentrism that is a life lived where your perception and that of others dictates your reality, well, that's human nature, but it doesn't actually CHANGE a thing.

personally, i'm content to exist. i did when i was single, i do while i am married, and i will up until my scrotum gets lit on fire by an angry single person tired of me appearing smug and self-assured. (that doesn't mean i don't get depressed, or manic, or enraged, or disillusioned, or utterly fucking appalled at the general senselessness of it all of an occasion; it just means i don't do so in some HOLISTIC capacity. i don't revisit wounds, self-inflicted or otherwise, as though the familiar pains will give me meaning.)
I feel the same for the most part, only when I get depressed that thinking turns on me and that's obviously not good. It's not something you can reason away. Well, I can't, anyway.

Concerning the bolded: I do and it's not something I have a whole lot of control over. Obsessive tendencies don't go well with morose thoughts, I guess.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 01:10:02 AM
I get what he means. Just substitute universe for society. I'm not useful to anybody besides maybe my mother, but we don't have much of a relationship past being related. So I'm really rather redundant, which usually doesn't bother me, because I have other shit to think about. When I don't, I get hung up on that and fall into a bit of a hole.

we're ALL redundant. the world doesn't give a shit. society may, but society is relativistic, hypocritical, and -- most importantly -- wholly arbitrary.  "usefulness" and "relevance" are matters of luck, or at least of factors almost entirely outside your influence. might as well claim you aren't useful or relevant to an ocean. if you prefer the egocentrism that is a life lived where your perception and that of others dictates your reality, well, that's human nature, but it doesn't actually CHANGE a thing.

personally, i'm content to exist. i did when i was single, i do while i am married, and i will up until my scrotum gets lit on fire by an angry single person tired of me appearing smug and self-assured. (that doesn't mean i don't get depressed, or manic, or enraged, or disillusioned, or utterly fucking appalled at the general senselessness of it all of an occasion; it just means i don't do so in some HOLISTIC capacity. i don't revisit wounds, self-inflicted or otherwise, as though the familiar pains will give me meaning.)

I need to get in a zone where I think this but also think "who the fuck cares though" and get more interested in my major as a result instead of getting kind of "what's the point of anything?"
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 13, 2013, 01:14:16 AM
If you cant get in the who fucking cares zone naturally you never will. You are who you are. Who fuckin cares people will act like its some goddamned skill but its not. You need to naturally have an ability to not care about what most people think. That's not a bad thing- its a different thing.

Asking a person who is socially awkward to stop caring about what people think of them - what the fuck- ask them to fly next. Its like asking the person who doesn't care what people think to suddenly care. Not gonna happen.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Rufus on March 13, 2013, 01:15:19 AM
Just don't go all in on the "who cares" or you might loop around to "what's the point".
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 01:15:20 AM
If you cant get in the who fucking cares zone naturally you never will. You are who you are. Who fuckin cares people will act like its some goddamned skill but its not. You need to naturally have an ability to not care about what most people think. That's not a bad thing- its a different thing.

Asking a person who is socially awkward to stop caring about what people think of them - what the fuck- as them to fly next. Its like asking the person who doesn't care what people think to suddenly care. Not gonna happen.

I don't care what some think and I'm good when I'm not busy procrastinating but something in me just thinks "all of this won't matter in x years."
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 13, 2013, 01:16:58 AM
Im just fucking TIRED of the don't worry be happy attitude of people who don't wanna bother. HEY MAYBE STOP BEING U FOR A MINUTE ITS PRETTY COOL.

FUCK OFF
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 01:20:25 AM
who thinks single life is awesome past 25? there's the glib "oh, but you're single, you should have fun!" from loutish passive-aggressive peers but that's just the usual meaningless buddy-buddy pep talk.

thinking life is awesome is a choice independent of age or relationship status. you can't control reality, but you can control your expectations of it. you aren't even owed the air you breathe, much less every item of baggage your culture has saddled you with. i mean, i enjoy validation, but i don't anticipate it -- or worse, disacknowledge it because i didn't get EVERYTHING i wanted.

i'm not saying you shouldn't feel depressed or anxious or whatever; i'm just saying that EXISTENTIAL CRISIS is some pretty dramatic language for "man, i am carrying a motherfucker's worth of expectations i ain't prepared to shed."
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 01:23:27 AM
who thinks single life is awesome past 25? there's the glib "oh, but you're single, you should have fun!" from loutish passive-aggressive peers but that's just the usual meaningless buddy-buddy pep talk.

thinking life is awesome is a choice independent of age or relationship status. you can't control reality, but you can control your expectations of it. you aren't even owed the air you breathe, much less every item of baggage your culture has saddled you with. i mean, i enjoy validation, but i don't anticipate it -- or worse, disacknowledge it because i didn't get EVERYTHING i wanted.

i'm not saying you shouldn't feel depressed or anxious or whatever; i'm just saying that EXISTENTIAL CRISIS is some pretty dramatic language for "man, i am carrying a motherfucker's worth of expectations i ain't prepared to shed."

Well yes but we gotta eat.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MrAngryFace on March 13, 2013, 01:23:42 AM
I get the whole there's no point- and that's why I work hard at the things I do. I realize I've got some of my own issues around accepting positive feedback but goddamn if my life isn't filled with 24/7 goddamned JOKEZ N TROLLS and bullshit 24/7. The only person who takes me at face value to my face is ME- fuckin sad.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 01:23:53 AM
i'm not saying "don't care what people think," i'm saying that "caring" is largely a function of social expectations. i care what people think as i'd be in a shitload of trouble if i didn't, but to think that those expectations are ultimately predictable and meaningful is garbage. i'd never tell you to not FRET, and i never have, but fretting over expectations -- yours or others -- isn't exactly doubting one's existence.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 01:25:30 AM
who thinks single life is awesome past 25? there's the glib "oh, but you're single, you should have fun!" from loutish passive-aggressive peers but that's just the usual meaningless buddy-buddy pep talk.

thinking life is awesome is a choice independent of age or relationship status. you can't control reality, but you can control your expectations of it. you aren't even owed the air you breathe, much less every item of baggage your culture has saddled you with. i mean, i enjoy validation, but i don't anticipate it -- or worse, disacknowledge it because i didn't get EVERYTHING i wanted.

i'm not saying you shouldn't feel depressed or anxious or whatever; i'm just saying that EXISTENTIAL CRISIS is some pretty dramatic language for "man, i am carrying a motherfucker's worth of expectations i ain't prepared to shed."

Well yes but we gotta eat.

there's also the option of dying! BLAME YOURSELF OR GOD.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Rufus on March 13, 2013, 01:31:43 AM
I'm even more of a stranger than anyone else here because I'm new, so pardon me if I'm overstepping any lines or anything, but while what you say rings true, if he's in more of a depressive rut (which I assume) those words will go in one ear and out the other.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 01:35:43 AM
oh, maf's a longtime good friend of mine. he's used to the occasional criticism from me. if what i say doesn't work for him and he ignores it, he'll still continue to succeed in his own internet emotive way -- he's far more mature and self-reliant than he likes to give himself credit for. i was more pokin' at triumph because i enjoy baiting the bear in its den of self-loathing, but what the hey.

also, as a tangent , the culture of the workplace is absolutely absurd. even i catch myself dropping into full-on serf mode -- gotta please the little lords in their castles lest they DEVALUE ME. i try very hard not to sell out my peers, or misrepresent my abilities, but THE LORDS LOVE PAGEANTRY SO.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 01:44:29 AM
also, as a tangent , the culture of the workplace is absolutely absurd. even i catch myself dropping into full-on serf mode -- gotta please the little lords in their castles lest they DEVALUE ME. i try very hard not to sell out my peers, or misrepresent my abilities, but THE LORDS LOVE PAGEANTRY SO.
Maybe if you weren't bringing the carts in one at a time and instead doing what we showed you we wouldn't have to hide you behind the bottle return for the rest of your shift.

Plus making all those faces at the customers.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Rufus on March 13, 2013, 01:44:38 AM
I hear you on the work stuff. It's no wonder we seem to be moving back to something that looks like feudalism, the shit is innate. The alms will trickle down.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 01:54:08 AM
you're fulfilling a basic need that people dont recognize: human contact, be it physical or whatever.

well, therein lies the introvert's paradox. the introvert knows they have this need, but cannot believe that they can meaningfully contribute in a social engagement -- because they don't (or possibly CAN'T) understand that everyone wants them there because THEY ALSO NEED PEOPLE. particularly self-negative introverts spend a lot of time in their heads calculating some scalar component of self-worth relative to those around them, and if the headmath doesn't add up ("i can't do small talk so people will not like me," "i don't really drink so people will think i am uncool," "i don't have any special qualities that people would care about"), they continue to hover on the fringes, caught in a twilight between loneliness and social engagement. the only way to break out is through cognitive therapy (well, or heroin), but most introverts know themselves so well they already have plans to fight therapy, since on some level they enjoy the strong self-parameterization that comes with holding one's self at painful remove from the rest of us, like it has an innate nobility or a meaningful ache.

and for some, therapy is almost impossible: they have been damaged beyond the point of real repair. :-( lord knows i dated a couple!

there's also plenty of other reasons for antisocial tendencies, such as sensory disorders or even general fatigue, but those are simply unfortunate. many of them ride sidecar with introversion, though! i'm not SUPER extroverted or introverted either way, myself. when i feel the urge to hang out, i try to do so; and when i want to fuck off quietly in a corner and get away from everyone, i do likewise. i just roll with it, because why drape weird interpretations atop chemical responses? (note: i am not opiate and therefore not 100% successful in this attitude.)

but yeah, there's two types of introversion: self-realized, and self-inflicted. we all need people, just not all the time, and some need them with greater frequency than others. it's good to be in touch with when we as individuals do need to be with others, and when we don't, and when we tell ourselves lies of convenience. (nothing worse than an extrovert who needs to TIME THE FUCK OUT, btw.)

Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MCD on March 13, 2013, 01:57:00 AM
So old man

How can I get laid?
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 01:58:26 AM
man, i have broken my "no more than three sentences in an internet post" rule. such are the idylls of the procrastinator!
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 01:58:52 AM
mcd, without the police involved?
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 13, 2013, 02:00:40 AM
leper this filth

I'm watching The Shield
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MCD on March 13, 2013, 02:01:17 AM
i'm a 25 year old virgin

doubt the police give a single fuck about me
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Rufus on March 13, 2013, 02:06:43 AM
tl;dr Don't be a Shinji.

And don't make references to anime, ever.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 02:07:35 AM
mcd, without the police involved?
Some people don't want a kind of Abner Louima or Michael Mineo thing.

The prudes.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 02:14:51 AM
Lack of community does make everyone feel more isolated. There's no denying that.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MCD on March 13, 2013, 02:15:15 AM
tl;dr Don't be a Shinji.

And don't make references to anime, ever.
but can I talk about my MS fetish?
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 02:15:31 AM
i'm a 25 year old virgin

doubt the police give a single fuck about me

what's a "virgin"

it's a useless thing to call yourself

you're just someone who wants to have sex, which is JUST LIKE THE REST OF US, you've just had to wait longer because YOU.

here's my tips for getting a date:

- build a time machine
- go back to your college days
- live in a dorm or group domicile
- stop playing video games and start embarrassing yourself by asking  the regular stream of unattached girls (or boys, or whatever) out
- get over the embarrassment and discomfort (booze helps, and when you're in college moral hazards are just things your polisci prof babbles about)
- get pussy or dick (or both)

oh, wait, no time machine. :-(

seriously, though, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, to get a date, you REALLY need to ask and fail and ask and fail and ask and fail and ask and succeed, maybe not with that frequency

or use brandnew's dna to become his clone and then bang his sister :drool

edit: or learn to ride a motorcycle! MY GOD WOMEN LIKE BIKERS. what the fuck.

Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MCD on March 13, 2013, 02:21:32 AM
my problem lies with me not getting out of my room or the need to get out. and if I ever get out, it's for buying another distinguished mentally-challenged tech shit that would barely get any use. I just bought a Panasonic plasma BTW because why not

for me, it's just work --> home and repeat

Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 02:21:44 AM
PANTS OFF NOW GODDAM I MEAN IT  :tauntaun

 :dwill
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 02:22:28 AM
PANTS OFF NOW GODDAM I MEAN IT  :tauntaun

can you call me brandnew, sis :tauntaun
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 02:24:25 AM
side note: idk if yall have checked in on the baby boomers recently but they are lonely as shit. divorced, no aims or interests. starting to turn to social media, barely keeping in contact with their kids. shit is intensely sad. i work with a lot of them in my work and research and its soul crushing. even the people i see on a day to day basis in their 70s and 80s are doing better. they are going to be a psychiatric nightmare in 10 to 20 years.

Which ones? My parents are doing fine.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 02:26:28 AM
even the people i see on a day to day basis in their 70s and 80s are doing better.
A lot of them know all sorts of people and do lots of "unseen" crap together. Even if it's mostly conversations about their medical ailments or grandchildren.

There was this Wendy's down the street where I used to live, if you went in the afternoon on Wednesdays it was like 50 people all 65+ with their baked potatoes and chili and coffee just socializing for hours.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
And then prolly bangin each other.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Hopefully not at Wendy's.
[close]
[close]
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 02:27:54 AM
yea but seeing as how theyre still together theyre probably well adjusted individuals.

fuck working in healthcare skews perceptions of everything

Oh you were talking about divorcees, gotcha.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 13, 2013, 02:31:23 AM
oh, maf's a longtime good friend of mine. he's used to the occasional criticism from me. if what i say doesn't work for him and he ignores it, he'll still continue to succeed in his own internet emotive way -- he's far more mature and self-reliant than he likes to give himself credit for. i was more pokin' at triumph because i enjoy baiting the bear in its den of self-loathing, but what the hey.

BEAR IS TOO BUSY WITH HIS DEMON RUM TO CUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRR
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 02:32:46 AM
we're past all that existential nonsense now and into the comfortable territories of fast food and old people rutting. add in himu-chan's weltanschauung-of-the-week and we've got BORE TRIFECTA
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 02:33:58 AM
Old people rutting is why I fear old age.  :-\
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Rufus on March 13, 2013, 02:37:06 AM
Being horny makes everything look a whole lot less disgusting though.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 02:37:38 AM
Being horny makes everything look a whole lot less disgusting though.

Probably.


Old people rutting is why I fear old age.  :-\
i imagine old sex is just like fat sex, acutely disgusting but feels good man and youre going to die soon anyeay

Good point.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 13, 2013, 02:40:22 AM
I have been better lately, just having a bad couple of days in a row makes Triumph a something something. 

I was simultaneously better and worse off before seriously thinking there was potential with this ladyfriend in Atlanta.  I'll know for sure one way or another this weekend what's really going on... for simplicity's sake it would be easier if she just didn't have the same depth of feels for me that I do for her, because if she DOES I'm either going to get involved in a stupid long distance relationship that's probably doomed to end messily or do something incredibly stupid like quit school and move back to Atlanta because HEY PRETTY REDHEAD.

And I had been doing so well with setting and achieving goals for myself lately.  Such is the neverending nature of the human condition.  It goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 02:47:33 AM
Being horny makes everything look a whole lot less disgusting though.

well, you're better than gaf, where social anxiety x bonertime = THOSE GIRLS JUST AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME, HER EYES ARE WEIRDLY SPACED UGH
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 02:49:20 AM
I have been better lately, just having a bad couple of days in a row makes Triumph a something something. 

I was simultaneously better and worse off before seriously thinking there was potential with this ladyfriend in Atlanta.  I'll know for sure one way or another this weekend what's really going on... for simplicity's sake it would be easier if she just didn't have the same depth of feels for me that I do for her, because if she DOES I'm either going to get involved in a stupid long distance relationship that's probably doomed to end messily or do something incredibly stupid like quit school and move back to Atlanta because HEY PRETTY REDHEAD.

And I had been doing so well with setting and achieving goals for myself lately.  Such is the neverending nature of the human condition.  It goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.

there's a way to keep her with you...forever

how do you feel about having only a quarter of your refrigerator available for food storage
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 13, 2013, 02:50:43 AM
Strangely ok, but not for that reason.  Although she's kinda small, bet she'd only take up 2/3 of the fridge if portioned correctly.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on March 13, 2013, 02:51:55 AM
Yolo motherfuckers

Im feeling very existential about which shampoo to use now before work.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 02:59:23 AM
Being horny makes everything look a whole lot less disgusting though.

well, you're better than gaf, where social anxiety x bonertime = THOSE GIRLS JUST AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME, HER EYES ARE WEIRDLY SPACED UGH

SHAHP EVERYTHANG
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Human Snorenado on March 13, 2013, 03:03:00 AM
Van Cruncheon must have some EXTREMELY unpleasant work he's avoiding tonight, he's all over the bore AND fb   :skip
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 03:04:56 AM
What does he do anyway? Does he have to add boobs to npcs or something?
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 03:08:29 AM
i am writing a white paper on porting opengl es 2.0 shader setup to direct3d 11.1

yes, it's THAT FUN

and i am nowhere near done :-(
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 13, 2013, 03:09:34 AM
i am writing a white paper on porting opengl es 2.0 to direct3d 11.1

yes, it's THAT FUN

and i am nowhere near done :-(

Man I can't even code a website without wanting to drill holes in my head and that's not even that hard or anywhere near programming.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 03:11:53 AM
well, i can't go for fifteen minutes in the internet presence of the average gaming side gaf poster without thinking thoughts that would make gaspar noe frown

we all have our skills
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 03:13:56 AM
i am writing a white paper on porting opengl es 2.0 shader setup to direct3d 11.1

yes, it's THAT FUN

and i am nowhere near done :-(
Why would anyone want to do this?

The PS4 doesn't use Direct3D and it has 8GB of GDDR5. Just program the shaders to the metal on there.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on March 13, 2013, 03:17:17 AM
i am sure my next request will be a toolkit for libGSN ports :-(
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: chronovore on March 13, 2013, 03:25:33 AM
There are a few other issues...most of my friends are English-speakers, and the pool regularly gets drained as folks return to their home countries. I've lost more friends that way than most people have, I bet. So you have to be constantly making new friends, and that's tough at 40. I don't have to tell you how social I am so this is hard for me to deal with.

My wife doesn't speak English (and thus is basically disinterested in hanging out with my friends) and is an insane workaholic, meaning I babysit at least 6 days a week til 9 at night. Sitters don't exist here. I can go out in theory any time I want, but there is a lot of pressure not to from both wife and kid.

I lost a couple of friends like that and more or less decided not to arse around with making new foreign friends.  The ones I still have here are probably lifers (like dcharlie and cvxfreak) but I almost never see them cuz I'm out in the sticks.  So all that was left to be done was to make some local Japanese friends or become a shut-in.  I don't think I could deal with the latter so I went with the former.

This resonates with me. I've lived in Japan for probably a total of 13 years, all told. I wanted to make friends at work, just as I have at every other game developer I've worked at, and there have been a fair number. Sadly, the people I got along with best left the company, as did the next batch, and after they left they didn't stay in touch. It may be due to the perceived lack of transience in the Japanese workplace, as opposed to the USA where devs never stay put for more than two or three years.

Anyway, yeah, hard to make Japanese friends, and the expats are either here for 6 to 12 months, then gone, or if they're here for the long haul, there's about a 50/50 chance that they're broken human beings who are unable to exist in their home country.

Ffffuuuuu...
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 13, 2013, 03:26:28 AM
Regrets suck. I tend to avoid them as much as possible, to great success. But learning your best female friend is getting married feels bad man. But hey, instead of doing anything last year I didn't do jack shit. Yes I had my doubts: she's rather religious although she does drink...Still I feel like I should have taken a shot. Smart, great family that likes my family, funny, more reserved than any young woman I know, etc.

I know she liked me, I turned her down a few times as an anti social teen. Sigh. Better to pull the trigger than regret not doing it forever, brehs. At random times I think of what could have been
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 13, 2013, 03:27:45 AM
not seeing any life-changes for you there PD
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on March 13, 2013, 03:28:59 AM
what is even harder than being interpersonally dysfunctional while trying to connect with women is being interpersonally dysfunctional while trying to connect with women who are themselves EQUALLY interpersonally dysfunctional as you
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 13, 2013, 03:29:25 AM
Well for now on I'm pulling the trigger. That's my life changer.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 03:35:05 AM
what is even harder than being interpersonally dysfunctional while trying to connect with women is being interpersonally dysfunctional while trying to connect with women who are themselves EQUALLY interpersonally dysfunctional as you
That's the best part. Comparative advantage.

She supplies you with faux-drama at a much lower price than you can produce it yourself.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on March 13, 2013, 03:46:08 AM
There are a few other issues...most of my friends are English-speakers, and the pool regularly gets drained as folks return to their home countries. I've lost more friends that way than most people have, I bet. So you have to be constantly making new friends, and that's tough at 40. I don't have to tell you how social I am so this is hard for me to deal with.

My wife doesn't speak English (and thus is basically disinterested in hanging out with my friends) and is an insane workaholic, meaning I babysit at least 6 days a week til 9 at night. Sitters don't exist here. I can go out in theory any time I want, but there is a lot of pressure not to from both wife and kid.

I lost a couple of friends like that and more or less decided not to arse around with making new foreign friends.  The ones I still have here are probably lifers (like dcharlie and cvxfreak) but I almost never see them cuz I'm out in the sticks.  So all that was left to be done was to make some local Japanese friends or become a shut-in.  I don't think I could deal with the latter so I went with the former.

This resonates with me. I've lived in Japan for probably a total of 13 years, all told. I wanted to make friends at work, just as I have at every other game developer I've worked at, and there have been a fair number. Sadly, the people I got along with best left the company, as did the next batch, and after they left they didn't stay in touch. It may be due to the perceived lack of transience in the Japanese workplace, as opposed to the USA where devs never stay put for more than two or three years.

Anyway, yeah, hard to make Japanese friends, and the expats are either here for 6 to 12 months, then gone, or if they're here for the long haul, there's about a 50/50 chance that they're broken human beings who are unable to exist in their home country.

Ffffuuuuu...

This is the life of an expat.

Same thing here. Out of my old gang in Ireland half have left already.

You get to know someone, they leave. It gets harder and harder to justify investing in new deep friends all the time. Now I stick to watching football with the guys at the pub.

Making good friends with locals is not only hard in Japan (although moreso imagine due to culture) but everywhere there is a barrier since these people have their lives setup there already. The Irish are the friendliest folks you'll meet but making Irish friends here ain't easy either, especially since I work with all expats all the time.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on March 13, 2013, 05:09:12 AM
Once you get over this existential angst life gets real good. I think it's just a phase most people go through at some point. Some more then others. Some can't leave it.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 05:18:11 AM
The real cultural whammy here (once you get past the language barrier) is just that Japanese don't make a ton of friends anyway.
To be fair, all of Japanese history to this point came before MiiVerse.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on March 13, 2013, 05:37:54 AM
This is the life of an expat.

Same thing here. Out of my old gang in Ireland half have left already.

You get to know someone, they leave. It gets harder and harder to justify investing in new deep friends all the time. Now I stick to watching football with the guys at the pub.

Making good friends with locals is not only hard in Japan (although moreso imagine due to culture) but everywhere there is a barrier since these people have their lives setup there already. The Irish are the friendliest folks you'll meet but making Irish friends here ain't easy either, especially since I work with all expats all the time.

Honestly I think language is the biggest barrier for most expats in Japan.  Like, even the ones who speak it well (Cormac falls into this group) would probably be able to relax more speaking their native tongue, and thus seek out fellow native English speakers.  The real cultural whammy here (once you get past the language barrier) is just that Japanese don't make a ton of friends anyway.

I see that a lot with some groups of foreigners here. Even if they speak English well they hang out with fellow spanish/italians because they can express themselves better.

The people that are really fluent like some nordics, dutchies etc. don't have this at all and hang out with anyone. There is a big difference between speaking something well and being so fluent you don't feel the need to talk your native tongue.

I heard that Japanese people will never really accept a foreigner in their inner circle, that this is more extreme then elsewhere.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 05:50:40 AM
I see that a lot with some groups of foreigners here. Even if they speak English well they hang out with fellow spanish/italians because they can express themselves better.

The people that are really fluent like some nordics, dutchies etc. don't have this at all and hang out with anyone. There is a big difference between speaking something well and being so fluent you don't feel the need to talk your native tongue.
This is basically all foreign people ever.

One of the hostilities to immigration stems from seeing this and not being able to imagine that those people can get better or that their children will be far better (as is normally the case) and thus can never integrate.

One of the projects I have worked on examined 1920s immigration debates in Congress. Part of it was comparing to modern times and it wasn't any different. The Huns* coming over would never learn English, do nothing but steal from white Americans and setup their own separatist states, etc.

*Anyone east of France.

EDIT: Should add for historical accuracy that when I say "debates in Congress" it was like 45% saying we need none of those damn filthy Europeans, 40% saying we only need the good Europeans, 4% saying we need those and plus some people to work fields and 1% saying anyone who wants to come.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 06:03:52 AM
You need, enjoy, and are even good at human contact--lots of it--yet people are so disappointing.
Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy didn't have to troll on the internet.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on March 13, 2013, 06:20:23 AM
The older I get, the less I care.  It's great.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on March 13, 2013, 06:36:20 AM
All good reasons I agree and recognize here as well Oscar. Think it applies to expats everywhere as you say.

edit: wait forgot another important one.  lots of foreigners who come here and try to make local friends are weird-ass man-children who live and breathe anime and j-pop and vidya games, and they somehow got the idea that Japan is accepting of that shit.  Rest assured, they look as weird here as they do back home, but for whatever reason, when they fail to make friends just as they do back home, they chalk it up to everything but themselves.

 :lol

I see that a lot with some groups of foreigners here. Even if they speak English well they hang out with fellow spanish/italians because they can express themselves better.

The people that are really fluent like some nordics, dutchies etc. don't have this at all and hang out with anyone. There is a big difference between speaking something well and being so fluent you don't feel the need to talk your native tongue.
This is basically all foreign people ever.

One of the hostilities to immigration stems from seeing this and not being able to imagine that those people can get better or that their children will be far better (as is normally the case) and thus can never integrate.

One of the projects I have worked on examined 1920s immigration debates in Congress. Part of it was comparing to modern times and it wasn't any different. The Huns* coming over would never learn English, do nothing but steal from white Americans and setup their own separatist states, etc.

*Anyone east of France.

EDIT: Should add for historical accuracy that when I say "debates in Congress" it was like 45% saying we need none of those damn filthy Europeans, 40% saying we only need the good Europeans, 4% saying we need those and plus some people to work fields and 1% saying anyone who wants to come.

Yeah it's funny how people never seem to learn from past migration. When you talk to anti-immigration folks about this they get upset and start coming up with fake reasons why old migrants where better.

'These mexicans/turks/polish migrants are horrible, at least when the irish/italians came they integrated well' 
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 06:43:15 AM
- Increased work social obligations: There are a lot of expectations in Japan that you will hang out with coworkers after work, whether you like it or not.  This leaves even less time for non-work friends than working adults already have.  Again, not specific to foreigners - if you're not a coworker, you've got a considerably slimmer chance of getting time with people, Japanese or no.
This is really starting to become a thing in the US.

And I don't mean like some guys from the shop stopping by the bar type thing. I went out with a friend on one of these and it was more than clear they all actually don't care for each other but they have to DO IT AND HAVE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on March 13, 2013, 06:50:12 AM
American corporate work culture is fucking terrible these days.  When the recession hit, it was like Christmas for a lot of companies because now they can get away with shit they were too afraid to pull before.  Five years later, the general mentality is still "you should be lucky you have a job" and tries to find ways to make your job your life.  Not sure how that will end up getting turned around either.  I suspect it is a permanent change.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 07:05:21 AM
From the people I know it's not like an ordered thing but more of a "hey some of our lives suck, let's make everybody go out with us through social pressure!" The one friend works at a bank and they love roping their only two male tellers into it, type thing. And they go along cuz you know, trip to a bar with ladies! (The guys are significantly more attractive than most of the ladies.)

This is sorta how I got roped into it, she had already been a couple times. I got to be an excuse to leave early. (And get Thai food.  :drool)

EDIT: This post can be read like I'm an attractive one, I just meant she could use me as an excuse to leave, no matter how hideous or attractive I may have been.

Still. Thai food.  :drool
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on March 13, 2013, 07:37:58 AM
In Ireland going to the pub is normal, it's very much the culture here.

If you have a hangover and come to work, your manager will respect you for showing up and if you still do your job without moaning youre the man.

Of course don't show up with a hangover every week.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: benjipwns on March 13, 2013, 07:45:27 AM
Yeah, I was trying to differentiate it from that and I think it's what Oscar is talking about. It's not where you know a group of your fellow co-workers say "hey, we're hitting up the" wherever and you have a drink or two, maybe talk some shit about work, sports or whatever and everyone parts when they want. It's more of WE WORK TOGETHER, WE SHALL PARTY TOGETHER situation with ALL THE EMPLOYEES. But in reality you go somewhere and just kinda sit and drink because you have nothing in common.

Not the good sit and drink like Cheers.

And they take it out on you later if you aren't THERE FOR THE FUN.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: pilonv1 on March 13, 2013, 07:48:06 AM
Had an exciting project that was meant to be coming up at work, doing something new for the first time in a while, but the client went with someone cheaper. So now I need to decide if I want to stay or not because I'm growing weary of what I'm doing.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Barry Egan on March 13, 2013, 08:23:50 AM
And they take it out on you later if you aren't THERE FOR THE FUN.

oh cool, college never ends.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: chronovore on March 13, 2013, 08:31:44 AM
One of the strange things about where I was, was that the after work drinks thing didn't happen. I had thought every Japanese company was indulging in that pastime, but as it turns out mine did not. My company had an End of Year party, welcome new employees party, and end of project party. It was about three time a year we'd see each other outside the office; the rest of the year was 12 hour days or worse.

In the 7 months I worked in US dev last year, we went out 4 or 5 times, and it was always fun, and initiated by the coworkers. I made several new friends, and felt like I could breathe again.

As for language, I'm able to converse pretty handily, though its nowhere near native, or even casual fluency. Even so, I don't feel it's the primary cause preventing intimacy. The likely cause there is a fundamental discrepancy in value systems.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mupepe on March 13, 2013, 09:03:19 AM
The older I get, the less I care.  It's great.
This.  I'm not very old, but this is something I learned early from my mom.  Don't sweat it, move the fuck on with your life - whatever the problem is.  Dwelling on it and kicking yourself or holding grudges against others just makes you miserable, not necessarily anyone else. 

This is corny as fuck but I love this quote from No Country for Old Men: All the time you spend trying to get back what's been took from you, more is going out the door.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: CajoleJuice on March 13, 2013, 09:25:44 AM
this shit is too real, gonna go through the coil smileys throughout history thread instead
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on March 13, 2013, 09:34:37 AM
The older I get, the less I care.  It's great.
This.  I'm not very old, but this is something I learned early from my mom.  Don't sweat it, move the fuck on with your life - whatever the problem is.  Dwelling on it and kicking yourself or holding grudges against others just makes you miserable, not necessarily anyone else. 

This is corny as fuck but I love this quote from No Country for Old Men: All the time you spend trying to get back what's been took from you, more is going out the door.

:bow :bow2

Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: hampster on March 13, 2013, 10:35:47 AM
I was one of those parents who became a hermit. We moved just before having the kid and I didn't bother keeping up with people or making new friends :-\ Anyway years later now that my kid is older and more independent I find myself getting bored sometimes so I bought a PC headset the other day. I'm going to try joining a mumble server or two to get some of that human interaction going
 
Also I cut out a bunch of gaming podcasts and started replacing them with audiobooks. Dauntless down, Lies of Locke Lamora is next. I'm keeping the Cruncheons and the Bombcast around though :heart
 
I have a job but I've been applying for a new one. Some interviews but no offers yet. Hopefully a good offer one along and I'll have a real life change to think about. I took my current job early last year, the whole thing has been a disaster and I can't wait to get out of this city and close this chapter of life
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 13, 2013, 11:29:31 AM
I don't go out with people from work, but my wife is in corporate where there is the expectation that you'll go out and drink. A lot.

She's in Boston right now for meetings, and that's exactly what they did last night.

edit: wait forgot another important one.  lots of foreigners who come here and try to make local friends are weird-ass man-children who live and breathe anime and j-pop and vidya games, and they somehow got the idea that Japan is accepting of that shit.  Rest assured, they look as weird here as they do back home, but for whatever reason, when they fail to make friends just as they do back home, they chalk it up to everything but themselves.

Oscar, Destroyer of Dreams.

:lol
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 13, 2013, 11:34:21 AM
I was one of those parents who became a hermit. We moved just before having the kid and I didn't bother keeping up with people or making new friends :-\ Anyway years later now that my kid is older and more independent I find myself getting bored sometimes so I bought a PC headset the other day. I'm going to try joining a mumble server or two to get some of that human interaction going


You're always welcome to hang out with me and my posse of degenerates on our Mumble server.

:shaq
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: bork on March 13, 2013, 12:58:56 PM
One of the strange things about where I was, was that the after work drinks thing didn't happen. I had thought every Japanese company was indulging in that pastime, but as it turns out mine did not. My company had an End of Year party, welcome new employees party, and end of project party. It was about three time a year we'd see each other outside the office; the rest of the year was 12 hour days or worse.

In the 7 months I worked in US dev last year, we went out 4 or 5 times, and it was always fun, and initiated by the coworkers. I made several new friends, and felt like I could breathe again.

As for language, I'm able to converse pretty handily, though its nowhere near native, or even casual fluency. Even so, I don't feel it's the primary cause preventing intimacy. The likely cause there is a fundamental discrepancy in value systems.

One of the schools I worked at held enkais pretty regularly.  They always invited me, even after I quit going (I don't drink, so it was just awkward).  I was even invited to go to some hot springs resort for a day or two, for the low LOW price of only 80,000 yen, which I politely declined.   But another school never invited me- when I first got there I invited myself along and it was even more awkward.  Turns out that this school had a little clique going and only the people in that group went to the enkais.  I don't know what happened after most of them were transferred the following school year.

One time after an enkai, I was asked to go to a snack bar with some other male teachers.  When I declined another teacher got in my face and asked me if I was gay.  That was the first and only time he ever said anything to me.   :lol  Other teachers grabbed him and took him away, while the English teachers were all "no, no!  He has a girlfriend!"  I told the guy "yeah, I don't need to go to a loser bar to pay women to talk to me," which got laughs out of the English speakers and seemed to really piss the guy off (he was totally smashed).  I think that was the last enkai I went to.   :lol

My current job has official events and unofficial going away parties for people, but I never go.  I'm an introvert and also tend to not give a shit about any of the people leaving.   :P
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: tiesto on March 13, 2013, 01:15:05 PM
I'm a fairly introverted person (in the sense that I do go out but it's not something I can do every day because I'll get too fatigued), but am at the position in my life when lots of my friends are moving on - marriage, children, moving out of town. We do get together every month or two, but I don't really have many opportunities to meet new people, and it takes me a bit of time before I warm up to someone anyways.

So I figure, the job situation for me may be a blessing in disguise. A chance to meet new people or even possibly move to a new area where I'll be forced to.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: bork on March 13, 2013, 01:18:16 PM
I barely see my friends anymore either.  Especially the ones with kids.  I do notice that some people can manage having kids much better than others.  One my friends has decided that the best thing to do is switch on and off taking care of his two sons every other hour with his wife, so he pretty much never goes out anywhere.  When I suggested that maybe once in a while he takes care of the kids for half a day and his wife takes care of them in the evening (and vice versa), I was told I "just don't know what it's like."  Yet other people I know do just that- or get a babysitter.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 13, 2013, 01:23:47 PM
My wife and I value our friends too much to stop seeing them just because we had a kid. I don't understand the whole "Have a kid, become a paranoid/judgmental hermit" mentality.

So I figure, the job situation for me may be a blessing in disguise. A chance to meet new people or even possibly move to a new area where I'll be forced to.

Move to Seattle. Even though half of Seattle Bore has kids, we'd hang out with you.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: bork on March 13, 2013, 01:30:01 PM
Mr. Gundam, you need to change your name to "Mr. Seattle."    :P

Doesn't Seattle have a lot of rainy/dreary weather?

I want to move somewhere where it's warm all the time.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 13, 2013, 01:31:55 PM
Mr. Gundam, you need to change your name to "Mr. Seattle."    :P

Doesn't Seattle have a lot of rainy/dreary weather?

I want to move somewhere where it's warm all the time.

It's gray and drizzly 9 months out of the year with temps in the 40s-50s. Then summer arrives and it's absolutely beautiful.

The PNW definitely isn't for everyone, especially if you're susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: tiesto on March 13, 2013, 01:54:51 PM
My wife and I value our friends too much to stop seeing them just because we had a kid. I don't understand the whole "Have a kid, become a paranoid/judgmental hermit" mentality.

So I figure, the job situation for me may be a blessing in disguise. A chance to meet new people or even possibly move to a new area where I'll be forced to.

Move to Seattle. Even though half of Seattle Bore has kids, we'd hang out with you.

Honestly, I've been to Seattle once (back in 2007) and really liked it. It was during an unusually dry period though so I didn't bear witness to the infamous rain. I do have a bit of SAD due to 4 years living in Buffalo. But Seattle seemed especially good for outdoorsy types, lots of opportunities to mountainbike (something I love) and kayak (something I've always wanted to get into). It's probably just behind the DC metro as an area I'd relocate to if I ever wanted to get out of NY.

Are you familiar with the "Seattle freeze"? Remember reading an article about that a while ago and was wondering if there was any truth to it.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: bork on March 13, 2013, 02:02:38 PM
My wife and I value our friends too much to stop seeing them just because we had a kid. I don't understand the whole "Have a kid, become a paranoid/judgmental hermit" mentality.

Yeah.  Dude acts like his entire social life is over.  He also whines that he never has time to play video games anymore.  Meanwhile other people I know with kids are hanging out with friends and finishing up plenty of games.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: MyNameIsMethodis on March 13, 2013, 02:06:25 PM
Well for now on I'm pulling the trigger. That's my life changer.

glad u learned for next time bro, try having a good female friend whose a lesbo thats the "brick wall" of "if onlys"  :-[
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 13, 2013, 02:09:32 PM
My wife and I value our friends too much to stop seeing them just because we had a kid. I don't understand the whole "Have a kid, become a paranoid/judgmental hermit" mentality.

So I figure, the job situation for me may be a blessing in disguise. A chance to meet new people or even possibly move to a new area where I'll be forced to.

Move to Seattle. Even though half of Seattle Bore has kids, we'd hang out with you.

Honestly, I've been to Seattle once (back in 2007) and really liked it. It was during an unusually dry period though so I didn't bear witness to the infamous rain. I do have a bit of SAD due to 4 years living in Buffalo. But Seattle seemed especially good for outdoorsy types, lots of opportunities to mountainbike (something I love) and kayak (something I've always wanted to get into). It's probably just behind the DC metro as an area I'd relocate to if I ever wanted to get out of NY.

It's a great place if you're into the outdoors. We've got the ocean, mountains, high desert, temperate rain forest, etc.

Quote
Are you familiar with the "Seattle freeze"? Remember reading an article about that a while ago and was wondering if there was any truth to it.

I'm a born and raised native and never had to deal with trying to make a new group of friends, but it is very real. I've heard that it's even worse up North in Vancouver.

My wife and I value our friends too much to stop seeing them just because we had a kid. I don't understand the whole "Have a kid, become a paranoid/judgmental hermit" mentality.

Yeah.  Dude acts like his entire social life is over.  He also whines that he never has time to play video games anymore.  Meanwhile other people I know with kids are hanging out with friends and finishing up plenty of games.

I definitely don't game as much as I used to, but I still get at least 4-5 hours a week. We can't go out as much as we used to, but we still find time to be normal adults who do stuff.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on March 13, 2013, 03:29:24 PM
Seattle has better weather then Dublin.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: pilonv1 on March 14, 2013, 12:37:09 AM
Seattle has better weather then Dublin.

Doesn't everywhere?
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: The Sceneman on March 14, 2013, 12:40:59 AM
well currently I'm trying to get my sorry ass off welfare and kick-start my career as a contractor/freelancer. It aint easy but I'm getting good leads and a few projects lined up, hopefully I can kick the welfare soon.

Been a bit up and down with self esteem and motivation levels though, hard to keep going sometimes. But today is a great day and I'm getting heaps done! And I'm thankful for that I think.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Shadow Mod on March 14, 2013, 12:45:49 AM
I couldn't handle the PNW. I already get sad in November-January here in Los Angeles.

PNW rules despite the weather. So much shit to see and do and for cheap too.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 14, 2013, 01:08:34 AM
We earn our summers up here. August is fucking epic in Seattle.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Cormacaroni on March 14, 2013, 02:55:51 AM
spring has been shit so far in Tokyo - horrible sandy dust storms choking the whole city. Got some peoples coming from Ireland at the end of the month for hanami and I think they're just gonna see yellow shit everywhere :gloomy
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on March 14, 2013, 11:35:51 AM
Good thing we decided on April 2014 instead of 2013 to visit.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Steve Contra on March 17, 2013, 03:30:30 PM
spring has been shit so far in Tokyo - horrible sandy dust storms choking the whole city. Got some peoples coming from Ireland at the end of the month for hanami and I think they're just gonna see yellow shit everywhere :gloomy
thatsracist.gif
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Positive Touch on March 17, 2013, 05:00:19 PM
 :lol
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Rman on March 29, 2013, 04:13:49 PM
My wife and I value our friends too much to stop seeing them just because we had a kid. I don't understand the whole "Have a kid, become a paranoid/judgmental hermit" mentality.

So I figure, the job situation for me may be a blessing in disguise. A chance to meet new people or even possibly move to a new area where I'll be forced to.

Move to Seattle. Even though half of Seattle Bore has kids, we'd hang out with you.

That's a great commitment to have.  I too have succumbed to the barely see friends anymore category.  I'm usually the initiator as well, but they're always busy with their own families and I don't mind it as it is understandable.
Title: Re: Anybody else going through major changes in their life?
Post by: Steve Contra on March 29, 2013, 04:47:38 PM
R-Man is back :-*