THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 05:38:04 PM

Title: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 05:38:04 PM: So, you're sitting at your favorite non-franchise coffee bar, sipping an organic macchiato lightly sweetened with guave nectar and grunting with dismay over the headlines of the day in the local free "alternative" newspaper, when who should walk up to you but Ted "The Nuge" Nugent.

For some reason, on this day of all days, The Nuge has been blistering his nasal passages with white meth before 10AM, and thanks to some serious retinal quaking, mistakes you for a real man and invites you to his digs. You, having a cushy six-digit salaried job that actually takes "I'm out of Xanax" as a sufficient excuse for your absence, are bored stupid and agree. As you hop into his Hummer, he indicates that various psilocybins and fucking underaged girls in the shitter are on the day's acumen. Despite your patently manufactured resistance and feeble PC deflection, you quickly give in.

When you arrive on his property, he hands you a recurve compound bow with a laser sight and says you're going hunting. Aghast at the notion of harming one of the Goddess' precious creations, you try to hand it back, your thin wrists waggling with dismay, but Ted assures you that you won't be hunting anything cute. Being incredibly naive, you sigh, because hey: shrooms and dirty dirty sex with groupie teens.

Finally, after crawling through the underbrush and tearing all kinds of hell out of your post-fashionable tweed Gucci trousers and Armani polo, The Nuge gestures for you to stop. He indicates that you should draw the bow, perfectly calibrated for your Pro Club sculpted but otherwise useless biceps. You do so, not wanting to argue with a man painted with elk's blood, and you peer through the sight.

You gasp. There is a pulsing red dot on the neck of your target: agent provocateur and grating fatass Michael Moore, who is hugging a spotted owl and quietly weeping.

WHAT DO YOU DO, taco?
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 05:39:25 PM: :S
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: TVC15 on January 11, 2007, 05:40:20 PM: Oh man, I love me some Nuge. I'd have to side with Ted. He's a nut, but he's lovable.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: brawndolicious on January 11, 2007, 05:40:47 PM: If you're weak how would the arrow penetrate Michael Moore?
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 05:42:36 PM: You ever drawn a modern compound bow? I noted that The Nuge has thoughtfully calibrated it for your untried pussy's physique. Also, Michael Moore has the dermal resistance of a powdered donut.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: TVC15 on January 11, 2007, 05:42:52 PM: Michael Moore is soft and fleshy. It would be like shooting gelatin.

(http://www.gamerevolution.com/oldsite/chatter/mailbag/nugent.jpg)
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Vizzys on January 11, 2007, 05:45:26 PM: Spirit Of The Wild...
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: brawndolicious on January 11, 2007, 05:45:33 PM: I've shot an arrow before...I would miss.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 05:46:14 PM: Despite being such a lardass, Michael Moore has mysteriously found a way to fade into obscurity. At least, for now. I haven't heard anything about him for a long time.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 05:46:37 PM: But you'd take the shot, right, Mullah ibn Muppet?
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 05:47:29 PM: Would you take the shot, Diablos? Remember, DRUGS and TEENAGED BUMFUCKERY await. If you don't, The Nuge guts you and leaves you for dead in a culvert.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: TVC15 on January 11, 2007, 05:47:50 PM: Quote from: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 05:46:14 PM
Despite being such a lardass, Michael Moore has mysteriously found a way to fade into obscurity. At least, for now. I haven't heard anything about him for a long time.

He was showing segments of two new documentaries last year. I think one of them was almost complete, too. And he also posts the odd notable website update. He posted a neener neener neener we won post after the November elections.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: brawndolicious on January 11, 2007, 05:52:58 PM: Quote from: Drinky Crow on January 11, 2007, 05:46:37 PM
But you'd take the shot, right, Mullah ibn Muppet?
1. you cannot say ibn after Mullah.
2. I'd shoot but if the arrow drops it counts as a shot.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 05:56:22 PM: The Nuge will know if you weren't trying.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 05:57:04 PM: Quote from: Drinky Crow on January 11, 2007, 05:47:29 PM
Would you take the shot, Diablos? Remember, DRUGS and TEENAGED BUMFUCKERY await. If you don't, The Nuge guts you and leaves you for dead in a culvert.

:o
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 05:59:44 PM: So the fear of The Nuge would make you take it?

Why don't you want to be more like The Nuge, Diablos?
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 06:00:48 PM: I don't know :santocry
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 06:02:39 PM: it's okay; acceptance is the first step on the road to face-rocking, hash-abusing, coke-snorting, teen-banging, gas-guzzling, methane-spewing, bourbon-swilling, God's-lesser-critters-killing hardcore rawdog Nugery. Every pantywaist moonbat libby flipwrist has a little Nuge deep inside 'em.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 06:03:47 PM: your threads never fail to amaze :lol
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Roland on January 11, 2007, 06:05:15 PM: Easy. You shoot Ted. Feed him to Michael Moore. Ignore the owl because they're creepy, and head back for the drugs and underage ragamuffins knowing you just made the world a better place.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 06:06:31 PM: hahaha "you shoot Ted". Yeah, whatever.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Vizzys on January 11, 2007, 06:06:58 PM: What kind of a man refuses a direct order from The Nuge?
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Roland on January 11, 2007, 06:08:17 PM: Set him on fire then. Whatever.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 06:08:35 PM: The Nuge doesn't need to give orders. He merely observes, and you either acknowledge his infallible judgment or act like a twee libby hypocrite!
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 06:10:55 PM: I'll kick The Nuge in the nuts, set fire to his house, and drive off in his own car.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Saint Cornelius on January 11, 2007, 06:11:28 PM: You mofos NEED to check this out: http://www.gloriousnoise.com/files/nuge1.jpg

(change the number at the end to read pages 2 - 4)
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Vizzys on January 11, 2007, 06:11:46 PM: Shoot the owl lolz
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 06:11:54 PM: Please keep your answers firmly rooted in reality.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 06:12:42 PM: ...like your first post was, right? :lol
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: brawndolicious on January 11, 2007, 06:18:19 PM: The Nuge is high though.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: TVC15 on January 11, 2007, 06:22:03 PM: Ted Nugent was like the pope of fucking 12 year olds back in the day.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Saint Cornelius on January 11, 2007, 06:22:16 PM: Quote from: am nintenho on January 11, 2007, 06:18:19 PM
The Nuge is high though.

No he's not! Read that article I linked. You'll shit blood.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Human Snorenado on January 11, 2007, 06:22:48 PM: The Nuge doesn't take drugs, though. This thread fails. Also, I think Doug handed his account back to Vestal or something.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 06:23:06 PM: Quote from: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 06:12:42 PM
...like your first post was, right? :lol

Point taken. The Nuge would never mistake you for a real man.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 06:23:54 PM: That interview was pure awesome.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 06:25:19 PM: Admit it, Triumph: deep down inside your librul heart, you wanna snatch up a firearm, drive a big fuckin' truck, and systematically terrorize everyone that annoys you. No shame there, my friend! Besides, you don't wanna be on the side with Diablos, do you?
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Human Snorenado on January 11, 2007, 06:28:10 PM: Dude, I own firearms. That's plural. I have no problem with the second amendment- I'm one of those tin foil hatters that believes that one day there will be a glorious second American Revolution. I wouldn't kill Michael Moore, though. I might beat the shit out of him for contributing to the "line everybody up on two sides and kick each other in the nuts" tone of politics today in America.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 06:29:18 PM: CHARRLUHN PRESSHIN' IS MY PREISDANT
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 11, 2007, 06:31:49 PM: I don't even know anyone who owns a gun.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: TVC15 on January 11, 2007, 06:32:42 PM: Quote from: malek4980 on January 11, 2007, 06:31:49 PM
I don't even know anyone who owns a gun.

Put some damned shoes on, ya hippay
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 06:32:56 PM: I do. And they're hicks.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 06:35:20 PM: :heartbeat Triumph :heartbeat
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: brawndolicious on January 11, 2007, 06:35:25 PM: Quote from: Saint Cornelius on January 11, 2007, 06:22:16 PM
No he's not! Read that article I linked. You'll shit blood.
Okay he's a motherfucking negro shitkicker.

That guy is fucking crazy.

"YOU'RE A WEENIE!"
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: TVC15 on January 11, 2007, 06:35:48 PM: Quote from: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 06:32:56 PM
I do. And they're hicks.

Diablos with the labeling, ftw! Without guns, do you know who would be on your property? Native fucking americans. Fuck that. This is America, dude.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 11, 2007, 06:37:35 PM: Quote from: TVC 15 on January 11, 2007, 06:32:42 PM
Quote from: malek4980 on January 11, 2007, 06:31:49 PM
I don't even know anyone who owns a gun.

Put some damned shoes on, ya hippay
I don't buy shoes as slave laborers in third world countries make them.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 06:37:54 PM: Yes, and native fucking Americans are such a threat today!

btw: I wasn't labeling. You like your guns; you're not a hick. You are kind of demented at times, though. But not a hick. And the guns have nothing to do with it.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Human Snorenado on January 11, 2007, 06:39:53 PM: Quote from: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 06:37:54 PM
Yes, and native fucking Americans are such a threat today!

btw: I wasn't labeling. You like your guns; you're not a hick. You are kind of demented at times, though. But not a hick. And the guns have nothing to do with it.

The Injuns are still clearly a threat. They recently bought the Hard Rock Cafe.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 06:40:59 PM: Oh shi-- :o
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Vizzys on January 11, 2007, 06:41:25 PM: That interview was a fun read.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: pollo on January 11, 2007, 09:22:06 PM: I dont understand how you can drop the f*g bomb when you supposedly hang out with whiteman =X
I'd get killed if I ever did that with some of my friends.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 11, 2007, 09:24:42 PM: Quote from: pollo on January 11, 2007, 09:22:06 PM
I dont understand how you can drop the f*g bomb when you supposedly hang out with whiteman =X
I'd get killed if I ever did that with some of my friends.
cigarillo bomb?

(http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/5/5c/300px-Fag_bomb.jpg)
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 09:27:26 PM: Because TVC is a pretty laid-back dude and tolerant of his pottymouthed pal's peccadilloes? If it bugs him, he'll tell me, and I'll never say it in his presence again. I'm probably the last person to discriminate against folks of the dudelovin' persuasion, though; I just dig "taco" as a pejorative and will use it until TVC (or another of my gay friends/coworkers/acquaintances) tells me he's sick of it.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 11, 2007, 09:27:53 PM: dp
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Eel O'Brian on January 11, 2007, 09:32:51 PM: My gay cousin tells me all the best new cigarillo jokes whenever I visit.

I would need no prodding from the Nuge to fire a bolt into Michael Moore's plus-sized neckbeard.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: APF on January 11, 2007, 10:39:08 PM: I don't shoot guns; that's what my money is for. Or even better I'll fucking draft you and your kids, and you can go fight for my stock options.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 10:40:02 PM: Quote from: APF on January 11, 2007, 10:39:08 PM
I don't shoot guns; that's what my money is for. Or even better I'll fucking draft you and your kids, and you can go fight for my stock options.

You're such a nice guy!
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: APF on January 11, 2007, 11:13:32 PM: Quote from: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 10:40:02 PM
Quote from: APF on January 11, 2007, 10:39:08 PM
I don't shoot guns; that's what my money is for. Or even better I'll fucking draft you and your kids, and you can go fight for my stock options.

You're such a nice guy!

I'm good one-on-one; the kinda guy you'd like to have a beer with.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 11:14:48 PM: Quote from: APF on January 11, 2007, 11:13:32 PM
Quote from: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 10:40:02 PM
Quote from: APF on January 11, 2007, 10:39:08 PM
I don't shoot guns; that's what my money is for. Or even better I'll fucking draft you and your kids, and you can go fight for my stock options.

You're such a nice guy!

I'm good one-on-one; the kinda guy you'd like to have a beer with.

I'd spit in your beer when you aren't looking.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Human Snorenado on January 11, 2007, 11:15:30 PM: A gay co-worker once told me this joke:

What's the difference between a taco and a refrigerator?

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Refrigerators don't fart when you pull meat out of them.
[close]
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Vizzys on January 11, 2007, 11:24:30 PM: Thats really nasty.
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: APF on January 11, 2007, 11:26:31 PM: Quote from: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 11:14:48 PM
I'd spit in your beer when you aren't looking.

You certainly showed me!
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 11:26:45 PM: Quote from: APF on January 11, 2007, 11:26:31 PM
Quote from: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 11:14:48 PM
I'd spit in your beer when you aren't looking.

You certainly showed me!

:-*
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Diablos on January 11, 2007, 11:33:31 PM: :kurt
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: Loki on January 12, 2007, 01:00:18 AM: Quote from: Drinky Crow on January 11, 2007, 06:11:54 PM
Please keep your answers firmly rooted in reality.

:lol

Funniest part of this whole thread -- and it was damn funny to begin with. :P This is why Doug rocks. :kurt
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: pollo on January 12, 2007, 06:44:43 AM: Quote from: Emperor Triumph I on January 11, 2007, 11:15:30 PM
A gay co-worker once told me this joke:

What's the difference between a taco and a refrigerator?

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Refrigerators don't fart when you pull meat out of them.
[close]

he was trying to hard. thats really not that funny
Title: Re: Today's Librul Moral Conundrum, brought to you by DRINKY CROW and THE NUGE
Post by: drozmight on January 12, 2007, 07:56:12 AM: Bathroom time is the ultimate reality time. There is no other time quite like bathroom time to remind you of the fact that this is reality, and it is boring.