Today, as an experiment, I left my LLs in the car and went in for some dances the old fashioned way... with normal pants on...I wanted to test with the best possible traditional pant, so I put on a pair of soft, thin black gym shorts with NO UNDERWEAR! Gym shorts are about as good as it gets in the traditional world of lap dance attire. This is Vegas, and I wasn't sure they'd let me into the club. However, it was early, and they let me right in to Cheetah's.
I found a beautiful girl, and asked for a dance. I thought she might call me out on my gym shorts, but she didn't say anything.
The dance started...
At first, the grind was gentle and pleasant. But, as the dance got a bit more intense, I became more aware of the limitations of my shorts. When you're wearing LLs, your pants glide freely up and down your shaft. Without LLs, there was much less motion. The grind felt short and limited. The sensations were nowhere near as pleasant. It was even a bit painful at times when she really worked it. For a comparison, when I'm wearing LLs, the dancer can go wild on my dick without any pain.
I became partially hard, but nowhere near my normal dancing hard-on. It just didn't feel that great, and I was nervous about what would happen if I came. I really liked the girl, we had had a great conversation, and I didn't want to piss her off by cumming through my pants.
In the end, I did cum in my shorts (on the 4th song). I lifted her up a bit and tried not to get cum on her. I don't think she felt anything, although I had a big wet spot and cum running down my leg.
Then I had to worry about the bouncers and valet guys seeing the stain on my way out...
Let me put it simply: I would drive an hour out of my way to buy a pair before going to the club. I would pay three times the price. I love the product, and there's no way I'm leaving it in the again. It was an important test, but a stupid idea. Strip Clubs are 10x better with Liquid Lapdance.
I really liked the girl, we had had a great conversation, and I didn't want to piss her off by cumming through my pants.:fbm
I think everyone has been there bro
We're famous for inventing special pants that make lap dances feel *more* like sex
Guys wear our "lap dance pants" in place of their underwear when they're getting a dance. What do they feel like? Just ask our customers:
"Feels like two lubed ass-cheeks sliding up and down."
"Imagine a pair of oiled titties bouncing up and down your cock."
"I wouldn't say it felt like sex. More like a blow job, a hand job, whacking off, anal sex, and titty-fucking all in one."
"Kinda like fucking a really loose pussy."
4th song? So that was about 80 dollars for an awkward orgasm?
:lol
4th song? So that was about 80 dollars for an awkward orgasm?20 dollars per song? :leon Where do you live my brethen so I may make a voyage there at my earliest convenience.
:lol
4th song? So that was about 80 dollars for an awkward orgasm?20 dollars per song? :leon Where do you live my brethen so I may make a voyage there at my earliest convenience.
:lol
Wow what a bunch of losers.look at this loser
**purchases**
Why "Alphas" Go to Strip Clubs Too
Posted by Liquid Lapdance on December 07, 2012 2 Comments
There's a myth among aspiring "Alpha-males" that only "Betas" go to strip clubs.
Aspiring Alphas are eager to vocalize the pride they take in avoiding strip clubs:
"I don't have to pay for it."
"Paying money to get a girl to dance on you is the epitome of beta."
"Been to a strip joint twice. Both times, all I paid for was a diet coke."
The truth is, "Alphas" do go to strip clubs. And they go quite a bit. It's not uncommon to see musicians, Hollywood a-listers, prize fighters, professional athletes, and CEOs at the strip clubs in major cities like New York, Vegas, and LA. These guys are plenty "alpha". Why are they at the club?
Hint: It's not because they "have to pay for it". These guys get more pussy than the toilet seat at Harpo Studios.
True "Alphas" have a "too many women" problem.
If you're truly an Alpha, women flock to you. Getting pussy is trivial. It's everywhere. And it's smiling.
As an Alpha, you have an enormous appetite for women. You could easily sire and support half-a-dozen women and their offspring. And, in a different time and place, you might have. But you live in a society full of millions of beta-males.
Here's a key fact to understand:
Beta-males don't get an opportunity to reproduce in a polygamous society. This pisses them off. Hence the comments.
Why no opportunity to reproduce for the Beta?
Males and females are born at roughly the same rate (1:1). In a polygamous society, each alpha-male takes two, three, four, or more women. This is fun for the Alpha--obviously. And it's great for the women--they can share the Alpha, and all the offspring benefit. One big happy family.
What does that leave for the Beta? NOT MUCH. Beta-males thrive in monogamous societies where Brad can take only one Angelina off the market at a time. And that's exactly what we've got.
Why do Alphas put up with it?
Alphas are severely outnumbered. Despite their beta-status as individuals, put a few thousand Betas together and you've got an army (although, you still need someone to lead it).
When Alphas organize society, they need to do so in a way that preserves the beta-male's ability to meet his basic needs. If Betas have no reproductive opportunity, they will be peevish and ready to follow the first Alpha who comes along to lead a revolution.
So, Alphas put in place religions and armies and laws and police to control Betas, while preserving a certain level of basic opportunity for them.
Does the Alpha ever intend to follow his own rules? Of course not. Was it a surprise Bill Clinton was getting blow jobs and sticking cigars in adoring young pussy in the Oval Office? Not so much! He's an Alpha. In a different time and place, he'd have fathered children from 100 different queens. The surprise, is that he kept his pants on as frequently as he did. Chalk another one up for the tyranny of the majority.
The modern Alpha has a problem.
There are cameras and media everywhere, and it's quite a bit harder for the modern Alpha to break the rules his forbears put in place for the Betas.
One must admit, having too many women is a good problem to have. Nevertheless, it's a serious problem for the modern Alpha. "I've got 99 problems... yes, they're all bitches!"
Some, like Charley Sheen and Wilt Chamberlin err on the side of too much pussy. The Pope and the Dalai Lama, err on the side of too little.
All modern Alphas find it difficult to balance their sexual appetites with their desire to have a happy marriage and a successful family.
One solution some have found is the occasional trip to the strip club.
The modern Alpha doesn't pay the beautiful girl to dance for him. He pays her to leave when the song is over. He pays to keep the fun in the club.
The Beta will have a hard time understanding this concept. For an Alpha, getting rid of a love interest is no easy task. Women are almost happy to let a Beta go. Whereas, they will fight for a place at the Alpha's table.
If you're wondering whether you are an Alpha or a Beta, here's a simple test: Women are horny creatures, and thanks to monogamy, just about anyone can get laid. How hard do your conquests fight for you when you tell them it's over? If you're an Alpha, you're their dream come true. Most women don't let an Alpha go without putting up a fight. If scorned, an angry queen may even try to take the Alpha down.
Modern Alphas have plenty of money. Paying for play eliminates many of the problems the modern Alpha faces when he indulges in free pussy: incriminating phone calls, texts, emails, Facebook messages, and a stream of hurt, disappointed women who have tasted an Alpha and don't want to say goodbye.
The strip club environment is a safe place for the Alpha to hunt and feast. The arrangement is business. The norms are commercial. The terms and conditions are clear from the start.
There's no expectation the Alpha will make the dancer's dreams come true. He's just an awesome customer. And she's just doing her job. Everybody has a great night. Nobody gets hurt.
It's fun in the club, and then back to an awesome life with a wife or girlfriend when the sun rises.
Up until now, we could be talking about paying for sex, but we're talking about paying for dances.
Why do many Alphas prefer to pay for lap dances, rather than sex?
Alphas have a lot that's worth protecting--a wife, a super-hot girlfriend, a family, a professional reputation. Paying for sex is often illegal, and always risky. Strip clubs offer a safe alternative. Lap dances aren't exactly like sex, but their limitations are overshadowed by the fact that...
The girl grinding on your dick is 3x hotter than your wife... The girl on stage looks like the hot new girl at work... The girl in the back reminds you of that girl you should have fucked in high school when you were too nice a guy... And you can get dances from them all in the same night!
Which brings us to Liquid Lapdance. You wear special shoes when you go bowling, for God's sake. Why wouldn't you wear special underwear when you go to the club for lap dances?
Lap dances are one of those areas where the proper equipment makes all the difference. Liquid Lapdance takes a normal lap dance and turns it into a true sexual experience. Liquid Lapdance users regularly achieve orgasm--even Betas can cum in their LLs.
We're so confident in our product, we offer a 100% money-back guarantee if you don't have an orgasm.
Enjoying a club full of dozens of sexy girls is not something Betas were really intended for. Betas are happy to cling to the wife they barely got and hardly satisfy, and cast aspersions at those of us with appetites they can't understand.
The next time you hear a Beta saying, "I'd never go to a strip club." Tell him simply, "I know you wouldn't."