THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: The Business on September 23, 2013, 07:13:47 PM

Title: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: The Business on September 23, 2013, 07:13:47 PM
Possible ideas:


Help me, Bore!
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: brob on September 23, 2013, 07:15:31 PM
handstand archery
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Tasty on September 23, 2013, 07:16:53 PM
Full penetration.

(http://imageshack.us/a/img59/9505/20100820011316capture.png)
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on September 23, 2013, 07:18:39 PM
See if you can put a traffic cone up your ass
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on September 23, 2013, 07:20:17 PM
You should wear your best suit on stage, then judge the audience by criticizing their clothes and theorize on their personal faults.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Madrun Badrun on September 23, 2013, 07:23:40 PM
Quote from: Brobzoid on September 23, 2013, 07:15:31 PM
handstand archery

Or just handsome archery
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Great Rumbler on September 23, 2013, 08:24:46 PM
Peeing six feet in the air without getting wet.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Raban on September 23, 2013, 09:03:40 PM
If they allow it, cooking sounds like it'd be a lot of fun to do on a stage. Obviously it'd have to be something simple. You could serve the food to the judges afterward to sweeten the deal ;)
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Steve Contra on September 23, 2013, 09:30:30 PM
Kill someone on stage
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Barry Egan on September 23, 2013, 09:35:23 PM
wasn't this basically the plot to Miss Congeniality?  Nice troll thread, The Business.  Here's what you should do for the "talent show".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97JIFQzw8NM
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Positive Touch on September 23, 2013, 09:36:38 PM
Quote from: Steve Contra on September 23, 2013, 09:30:30 PM
Kill someone on stage

kill a terrorist on stage
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on September 23, 2013, 09:57:15 PM
Quote from: Steve Contra on September 23, 2013, 09:30:30 PM
Kill someone on stage

Better yet, put someone else on stage and kill them from 100 miles away.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Shadow Mod on September 23, 2013, 10:00:21 PM
Learn to pole dance.

I don't see many men doing this.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: brawndolicious on September 23, 2013, 10:10:41 PM
Lip-sync porn sounds while showing how to tie a tie.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Shadow Mod on September 23, 2013, 10:11:56 PM
Quote from: Eschaton on September 23, 2013, 10:06:50 PM
Quote from: Needs More Cowbell on September 23, 2013, 10:00:21 PM
Learn to pole dance.

I don't see many men doing this.

:holeup Don't Ask Don't Talent :holeup

Considering all the love of pole around here I figured it would be a good suggestion.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Tasty on September 23, 2013, 10:13:37 PM
Quote from: Needs More Cowbell on September 23, 2013, 10:11:56 PM
Quote from: Eschaton on September 23, 2013, 10:06:50 PM
Quote from: Needs More Cowbell on September 23, 2013, 10:00:21 PM
Learn to pole dance.

I don't see many men doing this.

:holeup Don't Ask Don't Talent :holeup

Considering all the love of pole around here I figured it would be a good suggestion.

Wait I thought everyone here hated the Poles?
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Shadow Mod on September 23, 2013, 10:15:41 PM
BBPoles  :phil

EUPoles  :holeup
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 23, 2013, 10:48:59 PM
Quote from: Positive Touch on September 23, 2013, 09:36:38 PM
Quote from: Steve Contra on September 23, 2013, 09:30:30 PM
Kill someone on stage

kill a terrorist on stage

Kill yourself on stage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEYYYMuwCyA
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Yeti on September 23, 2013, 11:24:49 PM
Quote from: The Business on September 23, 2013, 10:26:21 PM
Quote from: Barry Egan on September 23, 2013, 09:35:23 PM
wasn't this basically the plot to Miss Congeniality?  Nice troll thread, The Business.  Here's what you should do for the "talent show".

[youtube]97JIFQzw8NM[youtube]

Nailed it. I'm entering my university's "Mr OU" pageant as representative of the Student Veterans Association. I'm thinking of doing the opposite of that video: a combat first aid demonstration. A little Hawes carry and treatment of a tension pneumothorax in full kit should have the civilian judges eating out of my hand.

But cinnamon challenge is actually a great one too. People love that shit and this isn't as serious as a woman's pageant. It's a tough choice.

Do them both at the same time.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Huff on September 24, 2013, 12:43:24 AM
we always just sent our buffest dude to do dumb stuff on stage with as little clothes on as possible. Like how to make a great pbj sandwich
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Huff on September 24, 2013, 01:21:00 AM
He was up there but I'm not sure if he won. It was judged mostly by undergrad girls, which helped.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: nudemacusers on September 24, 2013, 03:16:02 AM
a style-off would be tres fab
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Brehvolution on September 24, 2013, 09:25:46 AM
Powerpoint presentation about the benefits of Obamacare in Oklahoma.

Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: CatsCatsCats on September 24, 2013, 10:45:25 AM
Do an original comedy routine/song with your guitar, if you're lacking in either one the other can pick up the slack. Get the audience involved with some clapping to get them into it.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Madrun Badrun on September 24, 2013, 10:48:08 AM
Do a performance art piece where you masturbate on stage and right when you come, look the judges in the eye and say "War is hell"
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Tasty on September 24, 2013, 11:39:23 AM
Do a recitation of "The Aristocrats." Knock em dead.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Steve Contra on September 24, 2013, 06:17:31 PM
Did we decide on a public display of killing force?  Or the powerpoint presentation?
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Tasty on September 24, 2013, 06:35:41 PM
I was robbed. My Always Sunny reference was A+. :maf
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: chronovore on September 24, 2013, 09:37:52 PM
Do some impressions! Start with "wet blanket."
spoiler (click to show/hide)
:-*
[close]
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: ToxicAdam on September 25, 2013, 10:26:58 PM
A knife throwing demonstration with your wife as the assistant.

Either you will win or you will be a newly single man. There is no downside here.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Shaka Khan on September 25, 2013, 11:02:19 PM
Are you still on the fitness wagon? Do something with that. High or long jumps (boxes? People? Chairs?) Or bench press your wife or something.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Rusty Shackleford on September 25, 2013, 11:06:13 PM
Quote from: chronovore on September 24, 2013, 09:37:52 PM
Do some impressions! Start with "wet blanket."
spoiler (click to show/hide)
:-*
[close]

I'd start with "Paul Lynde." He's got all of the snark and most of the swish already.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Shaka Khan on September 25, 2013, 11:11:29 PM
In our university's Mr. U some hot shirtless jock drew a dinosaur with a brush in his mouth while performing a crazy number of pushups and I think he won that category. The dinosaur ended up looking distinguished mentally-challenged but no paid attention when there's a glistening sculpted body next to it.
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: Madrun Badrun on September 25, 2013, 11:39:39 PM
And what rank is the business?
Title: Re: Help! I need to cultivate a "talent" for a talent show.
Post by: chronovore on September 26, 2013, 01:59:46 AM
Grade-A beefcake.