The idea of masculinity needs to be done away with. People are people. I grew up in a household where my dad was ultra macho. Military man, shot guns, fixed cars, etc. But I had lots of heart to heart conversations with him and I saw him cry. Everyone would describe him as a typical example of "masculinity" but it's BS. I think I reflect that from him. I have male friends I have known over 15 years and we tell each other that we love each other (and not just drunk). I am able to tell my wife and friends how I feel, I cry during sad movies and I do the cooking and cleaning in my household. But at a glance, I lift weights, ride a motorcycle, I love guns, practice mma and watch (some) sports. When people ask my interests they get a certain image of me if that's what I tell them. Drop the characterizations of masculinity just like the idea of what is feminine needs to be dropped. There are only people and their interests and characteristics that dont fit into any boxes neatly
The idea of masculinity needs to be done away with. People are people. I grew up in a household where my dad was ultra macho. Military man, shot guns, fixed cars, etc. But I had lots of heart to heart conversations with him and I saw him cry. Everyone would describe him as a typical example of "masculinity" but it's BS. I think I reflect that from him. I have male friends I have known over 15 years and we tell each other that we love each other (and not just drunk). I am able to tell my wife and friends how I feel, I cry during sad movies and I do the cooking and cleaning in my household. But at a glance, I lift weights, ride a motorcycle, I love guns, practice mma and watch (some) sports. When people ask my interests they get a certain image of me if that's what I tell them. Drop the characterizations of masculinity just like the idea of what is feminine needs to be dropped. There are only people and their interests and characteristics that dont fit into any boxes neatly
you know you want this.The idea of masculinity needs to be done away with. People are people. I grew up in a household where my dad was ultra macho. Military man, shot guns, fixed cars, etc. But I had lots of heart to heart conversations with him and I saw him cry. Everyone would describe him as a typical example of "masculinity" but it's BS. I think I reflect that from him. I have male friends I have known over 15 years and we tell each other that we love each other (and not just drunk). I am able to tell my wife and friends how I feel, I cry during sad movies and I do the cooking and cleaning in my household. But at a glance, I lift weights, ride a motorcycle, I love guns, practice mma and watch (some) sports. When people ask my interests they get a certain image of me if that's what I tell them. Drop the characterizations of masculinity just like the idea of what is feminine needs to be dropped. There are only people and their interests and characteristics that dont fit into any boxes neatly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXw6znXPfy4
I still call my friends feggits and pussies. I dont think some jimmy rustlin has anything to do with gender stereotypes. We do it in good fun and there's no love lost. And I don't really associate the term taco with gays. Its just habit and some people are just feggits.Know that some people might have different feelings about this than you do, and that you ought to take responsibility and apologize if/when you really hurt someone.
I think it kinda does though, I mean I only really call someone a pussy when they're not doing something in a competitive/masculine context (taking a shot, going another round of sparring, etc etc). I might do it jokingly or out of love, but the reason I do it a lot of times is because of some underlying gender conventions, you know what i mean? On the use of the word fakkit; I'm really trying to curb that one even though I have used it a lot in the past. Whether we associate the term with gays or not is irrelevant because they associate it with them and they perceive it as a slur. I mean it's not like you could really say the word nicca and separate it from it's racial origins.
The name calling is one thing. I really regret the hazing more than anything else. That's an endless cycle in masculine institutions though, but I have to admit that I took to it pretty eagerly. I guess I wasn't thinking at the time. It really doesn't have to be like that.
The name calling - under specific pretenses - and not talking about ones feelings are one and the same, dude. You make fun of the kid who ties the bottom.of his T-shirt like the girls because that's not something a boy does. Similarly, some men are less likely to express their feelings for the same reason. They're the same, skid.well that's the thing you're both under the assumption that the name calling and shit talking is both mean spirited and targeting some form of gender identity issue. If you're doing that then I hope you're not calling yourself a friend of these people. My shit talking is when we are playing video games, rooting for opposite teams in a sporting event or something of that nature. I can't remember the last time I called someone a taco in real life for doing something "feminine".
well obviously yes. Thats part of being a friend and the being mature. I also dont pull that shit with people I'm not extremely familiar with. Thats social etiquette 101.I still call my friends feggits and pussies. I dont think some jimmy rustlin has anything to do with gender stereotypes. We do it in good fun and there's no love lost. And I don't really associate the term taco with gays. Its just habit and some people are just feggits.Know that some people might have different feelings about this than you do, and that you ought to take responsibility and apologize if/when you really hurt someone.
well that's the thing you're both under the assumption that the name calling and shit talking is both mean spirited and targeting some form of gender identity issue. If you're doing that then I hope you're not calling yourself a friend of these people. My shit talking is when we are playing video games, rooting for opposite teams in a sporting event or something of that nature. I can't remember the last time I called someone a taco in real life for doing something "feminine".
sorry dude. I meant to edit to just leave the first part of your post but I am on my phone and lazy haha
well that's the thing you're both under the assumption that the name calling and shit talking is both mean spirited and targeting some form of gender identity issue. If you're doing that then I hope you're not calling yourself a friend of these people. My shit talking is when we are playing video games, rooting for opposite teams in a sporting event or something of that nature. I can't remember the last time I called someone a taco in real life for doing something "feminine".
Eh? I've know you since 1998. That's why i said under specific pretenses. I know you wouldn't say it in a harmful manner. That's why I said in polite, private company, among people you know and are comfortable with. In essence, I was reiterating your argument.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE6jpTaOYMUhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1a0L3Z1A-RM
I want more posters to brag about their many masculine qualities and then brag how typically unmasculine and sensitive they are as well. The next poster can say, "Yeah, I can bench two plates. But that's not all that I am, you know? I'm sensitive too. I read poetry. I'm so above masculinity." :bow Gender-based humblebragging :bow2http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_uRIMUBnvw
I want more posters to brag about their many masculine qualities and then brag how typically unmasculine and sensitive they are as well. The next poster can say, "Yeah, I can bench two plates. But that's not all that I am, you know? I'm sensitive too. I read poetry. I'm so above masculinity." :bow Gender-based humblebragging :bow2i have got a foot long wiener and I hate it when girls think I'm just a jack hammering fuck machine. I want to pillow talk too sometimes
I dunno I think most straight women are into beards, and definitely into dicks. I'm not a straight woman tho :yeshrug
I dunno I think most straight women are into beards, and definitely into dicks. I'm not a straight woman tho :yeshrugAfter the right amount of drinks... neither am I. Wanna scissor? :shaq
I dunno I think most straight women are into beards, and definitely into dicks. I'm not a straight woman tho :yeshrugAfter the right amount of drinks... neither am I. Wanna scissor? :shaq
(http://i.imgur.com/QNEr2j3.jpg?1)
The worst of it has to be the constantly stoic, never talk about my past, delayed response to going to the doctor.... :goty
God damnit dad.
The worst of it has to be the constantly stoic, never talk about my past, delayed response to going to the doctor.... :goty
God damnit dad.
It DOES pay to be in control of your emotions though.
If filling it up and screwing it tight is what falls under 'control' for your old man, then yeah, I guess.
The real issues aren't what either of those YT's address. Both feel sort of trite with their viewpoints. Expectations of the male in society do not leave a lot of options for men, and it's not like the negative view of masculinity portrayed in those videos is the sole property of young men. That "pathological masculinity" inhabits women as well and is a part of the culture of success.
The one thing I'd agree with would be that "problem talks" as referred to in the second video do not scare me or bother me as much as they have proved to be worthless and unproductive. The people who want the male to have a "problem talk" tend to want it for their own gain since the male often gets nothing out of it. In a sadistic way, it's the side pushing for the talk wanting to see the "injured male" that is an image that is often sexualized in our society. The male himself gets nothing out of it.
I never saw anything wrong with a man sharing his feels and all, but I also never felt pressure to be ultra macho. I am what would be considered masculine for the most part. I work on cars, I go to the gym, I play sports, I've been the captain of my soccer and basketball team growing up, I know how to fight, I was the oldest so I'm the one who took over responsibilities whenever either of my parents were in a position where they couldn't. While I don't like to share my emotions with anyone unless I know them very well, I don't have a problem telling a guy friend I love him or expressing what I think about something. I also love art and painting, I cook and clean and love both. I've babysat for the endless amounts of cousins I've had before.
Honestly, the typical macho stereotype(ultra competitive, dismissive, etc.) is usually traits you find in a jackass. Yeah, I'm a man who can do manly shit. That doesn't mean that's all I do or all I am. Some guys are soft, that's the way they are and I never picked on someone for that cause it's idiotic.
I do use the words taco, distinguished mentally-challenged fellow and what have you mostly cause I'm a "Words are just words" kind of guy. I'd be the first to apologize if I do offend anyone at the same time.
that video is my defense mechanism against sharing my feelings :'(
I'm a fan & supporter of Borian Masculinity.
(http://i.imgur.com/lzfPive.jpg)
I'm a fan & supporter of Borian Masculinity.
(http://i.imgur.com/lzfPive.jpg)
I stopped listening to Michael Jackson in high school because it was considered gay music. When I got out of high school I started driving around blasting remember the time with the windows down not giving a fuck
Drake is so bad that I can't tell if that is a real verse or a PD parody.
He got to touch Jhene Aiko? (http://i.imgur.com/RYtQHwH.png)
I stopped listening to Michael Jackson in high school because it was considered gay music. When I got out of high school I started driving around blasting remember the time with the windows down not giving a fuck
edit: keep in mind that MJ has always been GOAT in my mind. Even during high school.
Speaking of masculinity, I hid my Matchbox 20 loveRest Stop :lawd
:hitler
so many classics, brehs :lawd
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vsNh0fH0UoThis is the song that got me into them. The single came out and that Christmas I got the 3 doors down and MB20 cd. I remember being surprised by how fucking good the entire album was. Its still perfect after all these years too. I have fond memories of listening to it while playing FF9
:noah
This thread certainly took a turn into the homo.(http://i.imgur.com/A2edzKV.png?1)
I'm rather reserved irl and not one to express feelings. I don't have any problem with boys being stoic. I'm more concerned about boys falling behind in school because they're too scared to admit they don't understand something, too focused on "being a manly man" which apparently means "fuck school," etc.
That hyper masculine shit seems to have an even worst impact on black boys. When I was a kid I read a lot, played PC games (mainly RTS), liked to cook, and was a huge History Channel fan. At 10-12 I didn't care that peers laughed at my hobbies and said they were girly things. But as a teen I began changing my behavior due to that shit. I played AAU basketball and my team made fun of me for watching the History Channel, so I stopped watching it because of that. They made fun of me for listening to rock music and called me a white girl.
I saw one of my old teammates at the mall a few years ago. I was with a pawg associate, he was working at Foot Locker. Bought a couple pairs of shoes just to stunt on him.
:smug
It's not much different with white boys. By white boys, I don't mean the Patel/Cohen effete handflapping whities who went to magnet/private schools, I mean the underclass. It's no different and I caught all kinds of shit for reading, writing, and knowing information about things, even if it was useless trivia. Listening to anything other than Disturbed or Papa Roach meant you were a cigarillo. Most of them didn't do shit with their lives because anything resembling ambition was shit upon. Now most of them talk shit about anyone who did have ambition while they've been effectively spinning their wheels in place for 10 years. Too bad so sad.Oh god, the parent hating bands.
I never saw anything wrong with a man sharing his feels and all, but I also never felt pressure to be ultra macho. I am what would be considered masculine for the most part. I work on cars, I go to the gym, I play sports, I've been the captain of my soccer and basketball team growing up, I know how to fight, I was the oldest so I'm the one who took over responsibilities whenever either of my parents were in a position where they couldn't. While I don't like to share my emotions with anyone unless I know them very well, I don't have a problem telling a guy friend I love him or expressing what I think about something. I also love art and painting, I cook and clean and love both. I've babysat for the endless amounts of cousins I've had before.
Honestly, the typical macho stereotype(ultra competitive, dismissive, etc.) is usually traits you find in a jackass. Yeah, I'm a man who can do manly shit. That doesn't mean that's all I do or all I am. Some guys are soft, that's the way they are and I never picked on someone for that cause it's idiotic.
I do use the words taco, distinguished mentally-challenged fellow and what have you mostly cause I'm a "Words are just words" kind of guy. I'd be the first to apologize if I do offend anyone at the same time.
I have had a similar upbringing, I am curious to know this: In your relationships and friendships do you tend to put your needs on the side and make room for other peoples needs when work needs to be done in your relationships and friendships? Like let us say your girl is not happy with the state of things, do you immediately focus on giving her what she needs so that she can feel better again? like you show her understanding, give her space, don't bother her, help her with her problems, come up with solutions for her difficulties and your needs are put on hold until everything is back to normal? Also, are you somewhat sensitive to criticism in the way that you easily interpret normal closure and dialog as an attack on you and start defending yourself instead of just listening?
Yeah, that's pretty much on the money. I've been much better with the last part in the past few years though.
Attachment pattern: Secure
Child: Uses caregiver as a secure base for exploration. Protests caregiver's departure and seeks proximity and is comforted on return,
returning to exploration. May be comforted by the stranger but shows clear preference for the caregiver.
Care giver: Responds appropriately, promptly and consistently to needs. Caregiver has successfully formed a secure parental attachment
bond to the child.
Attachment pattern: Anxious
Child: Clingy, unable to cope with absences of the caregiver. Seeks constant reassurances.
Care giver: Excessively protective of the child, and unable to allow risk-taking, and steps towards independence.
Attachment pattern: Avoidant
Child: Little affective sharing in play. Little or no distress on departure, little or no visible response to return,
ignoring or turning away with no effort to maintain contact if picked up. Treats the stranger similarly to
the caregiver. The child feels that there is no attachment; the child is "rebellious" and has a lower
self-image and self-esteem.
Care giver: Little or no response to distressed child. Discourages crying and encourages independence.
Attachment pattern: Ambivalent/Resistant
Child: Unable to use caregiver as a secure base, seeking proximity before separation occurs. Distressed on
separation with ambivalence, anger, reluctance to warm to caregiver and return to play on return.
Preoccupied with caregiver's availability, seeking contact but resisting angrily when it is achieved. Not
easily calmed by stranger. In this relationship, the child always feels anxious because the caregiver's
availability is never consistent.
Care giver: Inconsistent between appropriate and neglectful responses. Generally will only respond after increased
attachment behavior from the infant.
Attachment pattern: Disorganized
Child: Stereotypies on return such as freezing or rocking. Lack of coherent attachment strategy shown by
contradictory, disoriented behaviours such as approaching but with the back turned.
Care giver: Frightened or frightening behaviour, intrusiveness, withdrawal, negativity, role confusion, affective
communication errors and maltreatment. Very often associated with many forms of abuse towards the child.