THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Momo on August 13, 2014, 12:57:10 AM

Title: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 13, 2014, 12:57:10 AM
I mean the prospect is there for me, I'm not particularly interested in forming relationships, I just have these meaningless dates all the time. 30s bros, if you are with someone, do you think you could have done it alone, if you are single, hows it working out for you?


I'm genuinely fine the way I am now, but I'm wondering if I'm missing out.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: nudemacusers on August 13, 2014, 01:03:33 AM
no idea :yeshrug


I think I would be kinda bored, but that's only because I've grown accustomed to the chaos. I will say I'm happy to not deal with the dating scene anymore.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Human Snorenado on August 13, 2014, 01:04:38 AM
Fucking awful, but then again I'm probably not the one to ask, as just existing sucks in my opinion.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: benjipwns on August 13, 2014, 01:11:50 AM
Awesome, you're rich (and white obviously) and have a whole bunch of friends and are constantly meeting attractive and famous people most of whom you sleep with.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
All my information comes from 1990's sitcoms. I won't be into my 30s for a few months.
[close]
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 13, 2014, 01:20:12 AM
I probably do need to expand my friend pool though, I live on a razor thin margin here that if I lose like one friend then I'm pretty much not going to care about anyone in my life in any significant way. The idea of apathy doesn't really bother me, so iono :lol
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Human Snorenado on August 13, 2014, 01:22:13 AM
I have given up on meaningful social interaction. I just like playing games where my polygonal avatar throws fires around, causing numbers to sprout up everywhere, and then my enemies are dead.

If only real life worked that way...
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 13, 2014, 01:22:53 AM
Also, Creepy Old Guy, you are totally Bill Hicks reincarnated :lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qw3z49FBYGU
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Mr. Gundam on August 13, 2014, 01:25:13 AM
33, married, one kid. Very happy with my marriage, and I'm extremely glad that I don't have to deal with dating.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: demi on August 13, 2014, 01:26:50 AM
the same as your 20s. you going through midlife already?
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 13, 2014, 01:31:37 AM
the same as your 20s. you going through midlife already?
It's kinda hard not to when every single friend I have are married or sending me wedding invites. It kinda feels like they all got on the bus to HitchTown while my slow ass was still sitting on the bench smoking a cigarillo and being all like 'did I just miss something'. I'm not particularly envious, I am curious as to what I'm missing. I have very definite sharing issues (especially sharing my time) which is why I have issues holding long term relationships. I'm selfish and want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. This is why I am what I am and it works for me :shrug
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Human Snorenado on August 13, 2014, 01:36:33 AM
I don't really give a shit that people are married, I think that's bogus. What sucks is that everyone I know is all coupled up and spitting out kids now, and don't want to/can't hang out. So, that part of it sucks.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: benjipwns on August 13, 2014, 01:40:12 AM
The only other problem really is that lots of people seem to go through a period where they think they're the first people to get married or have kids. Or buy a house.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 13, 2014, 01:44:49 AM
My friends are all pushing out little miracles as well, of course this means no time for friends, of course me being selfish kinda resents this situation under the surface.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Human Snorenado on August 13, 2014, 01:50:07 AM
I OUTWARDLY resent my friends having children. Children are the ultimate proof people are actually irrational, dumb fucking animals still. You want to have a parasite grow in you for nine months, then sacrifice 20 years of your life to live for it first? Fuck that. Maybe I don't want to hang out with someone that dumb after all.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Kara on August 13, 2014, 02:21:21 AM
Not all parents live for their kids first. :yeshrug

spoiler (click to show/hide)
:fbm
spoiler (click to show/hide)
:tocry
[close]
[close]

OT: Not at that stage yet but it's terrifying me.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on August 13, 2014, 03:06:55 AM
So far it's been pretty sweet. Will report back with a full review in 8 years.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on August 13, 2014, 03:12:38 AM
I OUTWARDLY resent my friends having children. Children are the ultimate proof people are actually irrational, dumb fucking animals still. You want to have a parasite grow in you for nine months, then sacrifice 20 years of your life to live for it first? Fuck that. Maybe I don't want to hang out with someone that dumb after all.

Who said humans are rational? Free will is a myth.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: DCharlieJP on August 13, 2014, 03:22:42 AM
I've been single for a grand total of 2 months since i was 15 :/

That's pretty sad.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 13, 2014, 03:26:16 AM
I OUTWARDLY resent my friends having children. Children are the ultimate proof people are actually irrational, dumb fucking animals still. You want to have a parasite grow in you for nine months, then sacrifice 20 years of your life to live for it first? Fuck that. Maybe I don't want to hang out with someone that dumb after all.

This is really really corny. Downright anime material, which is why Momo is dapping it.
I dont use likes as an 'I agree' button. I use likes as an 'I was entertained' button.

As it should be.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Kara on August 13, 2014, 03:30:30 AM
Who said humans are rational? Free will is a myth.

This thread is cornball city.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: benjipwns on August 13, 2014, 03:53:39 AM
This thread is cornball city.
You just think that because destiny has decided you do.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on August 13, 2014, 03:55:18 AM
Destiny implies some higher plan, I'm just talking chemistry here.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: benjipwns on August 13, 2014, 04:01:16 AM
There is a higher plan, you're just not privy to it. You just think there isn't one because that's how you were programmed.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on August 13, 2014, 04:08:57 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/2skkQcv.gif)
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Rufus on August 13, 2014, 06:02:30 AM
The idea of apathy doesn't really bother me, so iono :lol

I'm selfish and want to do what I want to do, when I want to do it.
Omae wa mo shinderu.

Apathy makes for really sturdy walls, but eventually you'll find yourself trapped by it. Be glad it doesn't extend to your professional life (yet?). You don't want to be economically vulnerable just because you learned to shrug your shoulders and act like nothing matters so long as you have your trickle of diversions at the ready.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 13, 2014, 08:01:50 AM
i dunno, i think i would have been fine, but things would have been different, that's for sure.
I always wondered what would have happened if I got married like I was supposed to. I was engaged to a wonderful girl in my early 20s but things kinda fizzled. I never had sharing issues then, but I wonder if I would have developed them later, or if being in loads of short term relationships post that breakup actually turned me into what I am.

@Rufus, I  refuse to die! And professionally I'm doing amazingly well.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Atramental on August 13, 2014, 08:06:39 AM
I can definitely see myself being single in my 30s.

But I don't dread it because I'll be too busy working on personal projects to care.

Or I'll be roaming the wilderness like a crazed prophet because I took some bad acid that fried my brain.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: benjipwns on August 13, 2014, 08:11:27 AM
But I don't dread it because I'll be too busy working on personal projects to care.

Or I'll be roaming the wilderness like a crazed prophet because I took some bad acid that fried my brain.
Why is this an "either/or"?
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Atramental on August 13, 2014, 08:13:46 AM
Hah... Yeah it's not.

I just woke up and I'm typing these posts on my phone so I'm not putting much effort into word smithing them.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: ToxicAdam on August 13, 2014, 08:49:52 AM
I chose to get married right before I hit my 30's. I was dipping my toes into the 30's dating scene at that point and it was pretty dark.

Like many people, I found my wife when I wasn't looking. Being married has improved my life for sure, but it's not always easy.


Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Great Rumbler on August 13, 2014, 09:04:14 AM
You get to play vidja games all day, leave the toilet seat up, and drink Mountain Dew.

So, basically the same as when you were in your 20s.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: CatsCatsCats on August 13, 2014, 12:05:15 PM
Momo  :-\

With the two threads you've posted today, I just want to take you out for a drink and some tapas and cheer you up.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 13, 2014, 12:41:04 PM
I'm fine, the point is I need to take stock. I did manage to piss off the aforementioned friend today tho :-\
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 13, 2014, 12:43:38 PM
I'm going to The Odyssey Friday to listen to some chick i know play music and drink beer (water for me :fbm ) with some blokes.

http://www.theodyssey.co.za/ (http://www.theodyssey.co.za/)
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: nudemacusers on August 13, 2014, 12:51:29 PM
I OUTWARDLY resent my friends having children. Children are the ultimate proof people are actually irrational, dumb fucking animals still. You want to have a parasite grow in you for nine months, then sacrifice 20 years of your life to live for it first? Fuck that. Maybe I don't want to hang out with someone that dumb after all.
not sure if satire or not
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: king of the internet on August 13, 2014, 12:53:23 PM
I will probably find out soon. I'm glad I didn't settle for any of my past relationships, but 30+ dating sounds kinda depressing. Like being the kids waiting to get chose last in gym classes. Wish I was asexual like Momo.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Eel O'Brian on August 13, 2014, 12:54:34 PM
it was pretty awesome
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on August 13, 2014, 01:39:24 PM
Im married in my 30s momo.

Youre not.

Im posting on the bore.

You are too.

Im playing Fantasy football

Your move
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Oblivion on August 13, 2014, 02:42:23 PM
I'll tell you in a few months.  :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: MrAngryFace on August 13, 2014, 02:43:39 PM
I wouldn't go into a relationship looking to complete yourself.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Shuri on August 13, 2014, 03:14:15 PM
I've had so much dramatic shit happen that i'm burned out scared of any kind of real meaningful relationships for a long time, but while it's fun to have the place all to myself and 'lots' of free money; it kinda hurts to see all my friends with families and wives and kids doing daily updates on facebook with that shit. There's def a lot of social pressure to get settled down. Hilariously enough, lots of these dudes keep telling me to appreciate the single life because they wish they could still get time off after work to fuck around, watch movies and get into hobbies.

I'm still early in my thirties, we never know.

yo fuck this i got some sega st-v games coming in the mail next week  :lawd

and I just picked up Pantera's Far Beyond Driven and the original Ghostbuster soundtrack on vinyl  :aah
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: demi on August 13, 2014, 03:38:15 PM
You should never use Facebook as a barometer of someone's activity. Ignore that shit, Shuri.

They are just blips in what is probably the most mundane existence besides your own.

I will be your waifu if you feel like settling down.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Joe Molotov on August 13, 2014, 03:50:10 PM
Not bad, some times I can go all day without being tormented by existential dread.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: demi on August 13, 2014, 03:53:47 PM
Joe my love, you know you are always welcome to talk to me if you want
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Kara on August 13, 2014, 04:26:46 PM
Not bad, some times I can go all day without being tormented by existential dread.

Anti-anxiety medication. :aah
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: ToxicAdam on August 13, 2014, 05:26:47 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-gfxjAaZg0


This seems apropos.

Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: drew on August 13, 2014, 05:56:26 PM
the only woman I want to see on tv talking about dick is Sarah Silverman
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: tiesto on August 13, 2014, 06:44:10 PM
I'm 32 and in a relationship but prior to this I was single and it wasn't so bad... I have several friends around my age who are total manchildren and have no inclination of settling down/having kids/even holding a job any time soon (if ever)... plus I still like to do young, single people activities like chill at EDM shows and go to anime conventions... it's nice to be able to do what you want, when you want.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: bluemax on August 14, 2014, 01:35:18 AM
It sucks.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 14, 2014, 01:47:17 AM
The dating scene not working for you? Too thinned out? Craving human attention? Whats the problem bluemax? I need you guys to drop some experience on me  :lawd
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on August 14, 2014, 02:18:55 AM
Sometimes it doesn't go like that Exo, sometimes you get more hair, less money.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Kara on August 14, 2014, 02:31:49 AM
The dating scene not working for you? Too thinned out? Craving human attention? Whats the problem bluemax? I need you guys to drop some experience on me  :lawd

If you're in your 30s and single :ufup somewhere along the way and all the people you can date in your age group :ufup somewhere along the way too.

And not even in a consistent way, the exciting thing in the icebreaking period is finding out exactly how they :ufup along the way to end up being single in their 30s.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on August 14, 2014, 02:41:45 AM
My wife was 30 when I met her, one of the things that I loved about her as opposed to 20 something girls is that she had her shit together and knew what she wanted in life.

:bow 30's women :bow2
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 14, 2014, 03:13:25 AM
The dating scene not working for you? Too thinned out? Craving human attention? Whats the problem bluemax? I need you guys to drop some experience on me  :lawd

If you're in your 30s and single :ufup somewhere along the way and all the people you can date in your age group :ufup somewhere along the way too.

And not even in a consistent way, the exciting thing in the icebreaking period is finding out exactly how they :ufup along the way to end up being single in their 30s.
This is an adventure on One Piece proportions :noah
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: bluemax on August 14, 2014, 03:27:17 AM
The dating scene not working for you? Too thinned out? Craving human attention? Whats the problem bluemax? I need you guys to drop some experience on me  :lawd

Sure let me expound (and add some back story).

I graduated college late, I was already pushing 26 by the time I finished. When I graduated I was into my second year of going out with this girl, and out of necessity we moved in together. This being my first long term, adult relationship it didn't end up super well and about a year later when it finally fell apart she moved out at a really bad time. So basically I was 27, living alone in and the company I worked for was in the process of going under. I didn't have a car, none of my friends from school lived nearby, I didn't really have coworkers any more and I wasn't being paid.

Anywho, I eventually got some contract jobs, got some money, bought a car off a friend of mine for nothing, got some therapy and anti-depressants and got a full time job. Finally at about 28 or so I decide I need to start just making friends again before I even try getting back into dating. Of my coworkers at the time there were only two dudes near my age, one who lived an hour or so away and the other who was kind of a dumbass and scumbag. I joined a rec kickball league (wanted to play softball but that got tanked so I went in for kickball), ended up starting to hang out with dumbass dude, started working out, started hanging out with people from kickball.

Here's the thing about rec leagues, they're click as fuck. Its like some dumb combination of frat life/high school with low tier athletic competition thrown in. You basically get teams that are either douchebags who all work together, douchebags who all know each other from college, or the misfit team. I ended up on the misfit team and met some okay people, but its hard to keep those teams together and it wasn't really that easy to transition to doing shit with people outside of the rec league. I did it, because I was lonely and I've moved a lot and started my life over like a dozen times so I know how to build temporary connections. I've ended up playing rec sports off and on for about 3 years and in the end I don't really have any more close friends than when I started. I know a few more people, I get invited to a few more social events but I don't have people constantly wanting to hang out or people who I even feel okay with just hitting up to talk.

 Obviously this is largely on me and who I am, but I mean most of the people I met through this were not the kind of people I ideally want to hang out with or be friends with. And that's really the fucking trick. How do you even meet the kind of people you really want to be friends with as an adult? I have no fucking idea.

The other part of it is that the nature of being around people who are between 24-35 is that most of them boil down to two types: the ones who still want to party and be free like they're in college, and the ones who have realized they're not that young and are looking to settle down. This leads to a lot of divides and people moving apart. Pretty much anyone I met through those rec leagues who ended up in a relationship has become a non factor in my life, which I'm not mad about because I'd do the same thing if it happened to me.

Shittily enough I find myself nostalgizing about being in a relationship with someone I lived with. I know there was a lot of dysfunctional shit, but I miss the good aspects. The companionship, the having someone to talk to about my day, the not having to go on awkward as fuck first dates any more. Like honestly I find writing first messages on OKC to be more tedious than writing cover letters for jobs at this point, and as someone who has changed jobs like 7 times since graduating I have a *lot* of experience in writing cover letters. The whole thing feels like an exercise in pre-judging. Pre-judging the things about yourself they won't like and the things about them that you won't like. It's dumb and not organic, but what socially is organic anymore anyhow?

Dating sucks. I'm not overly funny. I'm not overly rich. And I live in LA and I'm not super fit or super good looking. And I'm a real nerd, not a pretend one, so I'm awkward sometimes even though I have diverse, normal people interests. Dating in LA sucks because there are girls who will use you for free meals or drinks, girls who won't date you because it would require driving on the free way, girls who are 30 years old and work "in the industry" which means they mostly bar-tend or waitress when you have free time or they're auditioning, or filming or writing or whatever. "Tuesday is my Friday" is not something that is conducive to dating as a 30+ year old.

So yeah, all my friends are either in relationships that are verging on marriage or they're massive fuck ups that I don't even know why I'm they're friend. I'm 30, I have a reasonable paying job, I have a car, and I live alone (although I probably shouldn't for my financial sake) and I have a cute dog so I'm capable of empathy and caring for something besides myself.

Thankfully football season is right around the corner so I can be a massive hermit and not really give a fuck anymore.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Kara on August 14, 2014, 03:42:25 AM
Like honestly I find writing first messages on OKC to be more tedious than writing cover letters for jobs at this point, and as someone who has changed jobs like 7 times since graduating I have a *lot* of experience in writing cover letters. The whole thing feels like an exercise in pre-judging. Pre-judging the things about yourself they won't like and the things about them that you won't like. It's dumb and not organic, but what socially is organic anymore anyhow?

Hug me breh. I'm not even that deep in the game and this is already hurting fierce. :tocry
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 14, 2014, 04:00:04 AM
bluemax, thank you for that and I do hope you meet a group of good people :fbm
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on August 14, 2014, 04:26:47 AM
I am legit devoid of angst over this. Like, in my early 20s I was super salty over lack of relationships but now I just don't care. I have things to do.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on August 14, 2014, 04:31:14 AM
I mean I am angsty about SPECIFIC women for a little while but not "being single" in general
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: toku on August 14, 2014, 01:37:31 PM
Sounds like my 30s are gonna be just fine
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Atramental on August 15, 2014, 12:03:05 AM
edit: nah. I don't want to re-open this can of worms again even if I'm joking.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Momo on August 15, 2014, 12:53:41 AM
What is the bore if not a place to observe, dissect and ingest worms?
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Atramental on August 15, 2014, 12:58:45 AM
Nah bruh.
These be tumblr worms.  :shaq2
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: toku on August 15, 2014, 01:57:11 AM
=O
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: bluemax on August 16, 2014, 01:44:31 AM
In all honesty it isn't like the biggest thing on my mind most days. I spend more time thinking about finding a job that I actually will want to stay at for more than 6 months, and maybe getting out of debt someday (ha-ha), or working on a coding side project, or losing weight, or a myriad of other things.

Sometimes I just wish I had someone to talk to or share things with. I call my parents and talk to them from time to time, but its not quite the same.

Maybe I'll just try and find a decent therapist.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: Barraco Barner on August 16, 2014, 02:58:11 AM
I've given up as I didn't beat the "rural clock." Most married up at an early age. Any that are single now generally already have kids  :wag

I know usually people have to deal with their parents' hounding them about when they're gonna settle down, but I don't get any grief. Don't think my mom wants me to bring home a girl with 3 kids from 3 different fathers.

I'm considering surprising her with a Russian mail order bride.
Title: Re: What's it like going through your 30s single?
Post by: team filler on August 16, 2014, 03:26:08 AM
Destroying petite white women is even better now than when I was younger, since I got better at fucking over the years and continue to fuck early 20's sluts.

wish my grandma would leave me alone about not being married and/or not having kids doe. I ain't trynna explain to her that I will put up with a bad relationship(for a time)for good sex, but won't stick to a good relationship with mediocre/lame sex. The two never seem to come in one package and I'd probably find a way to fuck it up anyway.