THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Eschaton on February 03, 2015, 08:21:10 PM

Title: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Eschaton on February 03, 2015, 08:21:10 PM
It's been enough time that i can have a laugh at myself. Shitting yourself as an adult is terrible when it happens, but now I can look back on it and laugh a little.

When it happened I was 20, I won't go into it exactly but I was crippled at the time. Back brace that covered my body to stabilize a vertebra and a guard that covered my broken wrist. I'm in the middle of my Statistics class on the third floor in uni and halfway through I feel that rumble, you know, the one deep in the pit of your stomach that means nothing but trouble (http://i.imgur.com/dUlMFSY.png). The worst kind too, the one that happens and you immediately know "shit, i have to do something about this ASAP or i'm done".

So in this semi handi-capable state i get up and hobble to the bathroom on the third floor. I'm doing those wobbly ass clench walks, because i know that if i take one single misstep a putrid shitblast will erupt from my numb, nerve damaged buttocks. By the time i actually make it to the bathroom i'm about to burst. I make it inside the stall, and i attempt the maneuver; you know the one, where you sit down and pull your pants down in one fell swoop.

My jeans got stuck on my back brace and i release a shotgun blast of diarrhea all over the lip of the toilet, the seat, inside jeans and the boxer briefs inside of them. I just stooped there a minute over this ruined toilet stall thinking, "damn, what the hell should I do with this". I wiped my ass first of course. Then in this painful pose i take my jeans off, clean the outside of them, throw away the boxers, and hope to god no one comes into this semi public bathroom. I made a feeble attempt at cleaning the rim of the toilet at least, i figure its the least i can do for whatever janitor whose day i just ruined. (http://i.imgur.com/Brch14R.png)

I hobble back to my room, jeans subtly stained in shit, keeping a 20 yard distance from anyone who could possibly realize i had just shit myself. Took a shower, threw my clothes in the wash, and then walked back to class (which I knew was over) to get my stuff. I catch my teacher on the way out and i'm formulating an excuse. She says "when students leave like that i know not to ask any questions."

(http://i.imgur.com/qBsuB5s.png)
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: StealthFan on February 03, 2015, 08:22:19 PM
:snoop
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: cool breeze on February 03, 2015, 08:23:40 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PseNrUeSmXk

Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: mormapope on February 03, 2015, 08:30:02 PM
Ate Little Caesars, attempted to fart, sad leakage came out instead. Had to crab walk to the bathroom.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Human Snorenado on February 03, 2015, 08:32:13 PM
Are we distinguishing between a little shart or full blow shitting yourself?
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Eel O'Brian on February 03, 2015, 08:36:36 PM
nope, but I have had many, many close calls. Once jumped out of a still-rolling vehicle to avoid ruining a friend's car seat, and blew loud shit all over the  roadside woods like a fucking animal. I can still hear those motherfuckers laughing when I think about it.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: jakefromstatefarm on February 03, 2015, 08:37:04 PM
does 17 count?
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: mormapope on February 03, 2015, 08:40:20 PM
Ate Little Caesars, attempted to fart, sad leakage came out instead. Had to crab walk to the bathroom.

were you in a public place or the safe comfort of your own home

It was in front of friends at a friend's place. I farted/shit myself in front of them, and then immediately crabbed my way to the bathroom. No one said anything.

Little Caesars is now a danger food.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Human Snorenado on February 03, 2015, 08:44:02 PM
Are we distinguishing between a little shart or full blow shitting yourself?

definitely both count, but the severity of the shame depends on where it happens. for example fully shitting yourself at home is awful but hey, you're at home. now on the other hand sharting yourself even a little when you're out and about and have no access to a washing machine, shower and fresh clothes sounds pretty terrible.

I've sharted a couple of times, but it was always at home. My best friend shat himself on a plane.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Eel O'Brian on February 03, 2015, 08:46:33 PM
god, i can't even imagine that kind of humiliation :lol
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Eel O'Brian on February 03, 2015, 08:48:28 PM
yeah, but it's double bad on a plane

confined space, nowhere to go, nowhere to really wash up
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Eel O'Brian on February 03, 2015, 08:49:15 PM
i mean, even if you just stand up your shitty pants are in someone's face :lol
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Dickie Dee on February 03, 2015, 08:59:45 PM
I managed to extricate myself from the situation with such minimal social damage I really don't feel like sharing the story
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: tiesto on February 03, 2015, 09:02:44 PM
Being a huge fan of spicy food, I'm no stranger to the "omg I'm gonna shit myself" feeling... but I have a grandmaster level of concentration when it comes to sphincter control.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Dickie Dee on February 03, 2015, 09:03:55 PM
I managed to extricate myself from the situation with such minimal social damage I really don't feel like sharing the story

spill the beans

 :'(
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Dickie Dee on February 03, 2015, 09:16:10 PM
It ends with me panicking and getting away scot-free then deciding to man up, head back to the scene of the crime to try and fix things.

And then I run into some poor 19 year old worker walking out of the McDonalds women's washroom suddenly hating her life and I went back to Plan A of getting the fuck out of there.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Human Snorenado on February 03, 2015, 09:22:06 PM
All you guys bragging about sphincter control, just know that won't last

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPoQHHxqmmE

Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on February 03, 2015, 09:24:31 PM
Nope. But I did once poop on the floor at target.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: naff on February 03, 2015, 09:28:06 PM
jesus christ no. not even close  :mynicca
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on February 03, 2015, 09:34:48 PM
Bathroom. I was having an urgent colon emergency and the stall door came open just as I unleashed and instinctively I reached forward to close the door.  It looked like a Jackson Pollack painting.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: CatsCatsCats on February 03, 2015, 09:46:12 PM
Yes. Recovering from flu, at the jack in the box

I trusted my b hole man, it betrayed me
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Positive Touch on February 03, 2015, 09:52:45 PM
at first I came in here to say "god no, wtf dude" but then I remembered the hellish night after I got food poisoning from a shitty Hardees burger :fbm

what was actually worse tho was years ago when I was a dumbass kid hitchhiking around knowing full well I had a tiny bladder. spent twelve hours going thru the Utah desert at HOLY SHIT I'M GOING TO EXPLODE levels of pain. twelve fucking hours. worst day ever.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on February 03, 2015, 10:45:25 PM
Anytime I needed to shit badly, there was always a toilet near by.  One of these days, there won't be...

I also hate shitting in public.  I've taken lunch breaks where I drove home to take a shit.  I just hate the one ply toilet paper.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: seagrams hotsauce on February 03, 2015, 11:08:47 PM
at first I came in here to say "god no, wtf dude" but then I remembered the hellish night after I got food poisoning from a shitty Hardees burger :fbm

what was actually worse tho was years ago when I was a dumbass kid hitchhiking around knowing full well I had a tiny bladder. spent twelve hours going thru the Utah desert at HOLY SHIT I'M GOING TO EXPLODE levels of pain. twelve fucking hours. worst day ever.

You couldn't find a rock tall enough to dip behind in the whole desert for twelve hours?

I've never done it but I've had some close calls. I've learned my digestive tract well enough to tell which types of tummy gurgles preempt methane or poop expulsions
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Sausage on February 03, 2015, 11:18:00 PM
I think I did once when I was on a camping trip and I got food poisoning. Thought I was farting and then felt the wetness on the back of my boxers. Went outside and threw them shits in the bushes.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Positive Touch on February 03, 2015, 11:20:25 PM
surprisingly nearly all of the highway was lined with barbed wire. also the trucker I was hitching with kept complaining about how hard it was to make time and was clearly your average trucker crazy kind of dude so I want about to push him.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Rufus on February 03, 2015, 11:49:03 PM
Nope, my one and only incident was an awkward shart at my aunt's house when I was a teen. 

Managed to stay clean ever since. Knock on wood. Your guys' stories come greatly appreciated though. Maybe it's just because I'm dead tired, but I had a good laugh.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: CatsCatsCats on February 03, 2015, 11:49:17 PM
And yet bidets are just craaaazy in America
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Kara on February 03, 2015, 11:51:27 PM
shitting yourself as a full grown man is an all too real brush with the lowest parts of your own humanity. theres pretty much no other way you can humiliate yourself more.

i feel like you're daring me
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Kara on February 04, 2015, 12:39:09 AM
Baby wipes. :aah
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Positive Touch on February 04, 2015, 12:45:50 AM
Lolol shaka has one hidden in his house

it's very disturbing to use, but feels very necessary
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: El Babua on February 04, 2015, 03:10:58 AM
This was back in my college days. Woke up an hour early due to a bad case of the shits. Was in the toilet for basically the entire hour before heading off to my business calc class.

Not much trouble in class, there was a test, finished it and went home. As I was chilling on my computer browsing Giantbomb IIRC, I decided to let one rip. Got more than I bargained for as I waddled all the way to the bathroom, with only a small bit of shit falling off my shorts onto the floor.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Vertigo on February 04, 2015, 04:05:24 AM
We have the hose, or the douche hose if you will. Shit, wash your ass, and then wipe :aah

My biggest struggle in the US was adapting to a no hose/water spray in bathrooms world. Shit was tough, y'all :tocry

Just got back from the far east and these kind of toilets fully disturbed me as the entire toilet cubicle would always be wet, obviously after someones used it. As they would use the hose to wash their ass.

What messed with my mind, is in most toilets here there was no tissue, just a hose. So are local people walking round with slightly damp assholes all day?  :anhuld
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: benjipwns on February 04, 2015, 04:12:57 AM
This was back in my college days. Woke up an hour early due to a bad case of the shits. Was in the toilet for basically the entire hour before heading off to my business calc class.

Not much trouble in class, there was a test, finished it and went home. As I was chilling on my computer browsing Giantbomb IIRC, I decided to let one rip. Got more than I bargained for as I waddled all the way to the bathroom, with only a small bit of shit falling off my shorts onto the floor.
:bow Giantbomb :bow2
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: king of the internet on February 04, 2015, 04:41:35 AM
Pooping is disgusting.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: benjipwns on February 04, 2015, 05:09:08 AM
Pooping is disgusting.
But like most disgusting things, it feels so good.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Pl1YU1rXuE
[close]
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Brehvolution on February 04, 2015, 08:58:40 AM
Once do to a high fever and I was passed out when it happened. I may even have been dead during it.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: ToxicAdam on February 04, 2015, 09:05:32 AM
I sharted at work once.

You casually walk to the bathroom (bow-legged), then lock the door and turn it into a CSI crime scene. Take off your pants and underwear (the evidence). Grab a huge wad of paper towels and douse them in water. Pour in some soap and then start scrubbing the underwear. When you think you've got it all, you then have to make a decision. Do I put back on these soggy underwear that could still smell like shit or do I 86 them? If you throw them away, you then have to push them all the way to the bottom of the trash bin so no one can see your shame.

 
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: kick51 on February 04, 2015, 09:44:35 AM
nothing more than a couple accidental small sharts in my apartment.  doesn't happen in public since i'm not usually trying to amuse myself by seeing how loud I can fart in public.  but my hubris got me in my apartment a few times.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: jakefromstatefarm on February 04, 2015, 01:16:22 PM
My biggest struggle in the US was adapting to a no hose/water spray in bathrooms world. Shit was tough, y'all :tocry
bidet master race :rejoice
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Hock on February 04, 2015, 02:43:37 PM
I was 14 the last time this happened to me. I came home from school and right as I got in I snuck away to let out a fart. Then disaster struck, all over my pants. Had to make a goofy run upstairs, grab my towel and clean myself off in the shower. All the while trying to hide from my family that anything was going on. Luckily it wasn't so bad that it was dripping over the floor or anything, but I remember scanning over my staircase for like five minutes trying to find anything. I blame school lunches.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: chronovore on February 04, 2015, 07:44:45 PM
http://www.totousa.com/travel-washlet®

Those are less than half that price on Amazon. Don't leave bidet-country without one.

Turkey even had built-in bidet in the toilets, though they shoot cold water, angled more at the back of my dangling sac than the area that needs attention.

I've only got a story: One of the filthiest guys in our college D&D group was living at a group house, and he came home surprisingly early from a date. He had just arrived at her house, and was seated in his car in front of the date's home, when he felt a fart coming. He decided to let loose in the car. This is where I wonder, "What are you thinking? Why would you fart in a car just before you drag your date in?" -- but of course, it wasn't just a fart, and the guy feels a little sneak out.

He decides that it's probably safer to let fly (what the fuck are you thinking?) and tries to relieve some pressure by letting a turdlette out. Nope, it's not going to happen. The whole dirt loaf starts to fill the guy's shorts. As he said, "I'd had a rather large lunch." He sat there, steaming in his own shit for another 10 minutes, wondering if he should tell her that the date was off in person, or just to bail. In the end, he decided to just stand her up, and he drove home squishing around in his own mud.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: TakingBackSunday on February 15, 2015, 02:55:46 PM
 :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\

First time I ever accidentally shit myself as a grown ass man, today.

Driving to the mall to buy new pants, lean over for a quick fart, whole stomach clamps up and decides "fuck you Brian" and I liquid shit in my car.  Noped right around and drove straight home, feel like a fucking pleb
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on February 15, 2015, 02:58:03 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/xZQ0CVn.gif)

I hate it had to be you.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 15, 2015, 03:00:53 PM
Clearly if there is ever a time to use your real name in a forum post, it's in a post describing how you just shit yourself. 
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Dickie Dee on February 15, 2015, 03:08:15 PM
People that it never happened need to understand we aren't some barely potty-trained manchildren.

Sometimes your butthole just betrays you  :brazilcry
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 15, 2015, 03:15:01 PM
This thread is starting to read like a support thread for pant-shitters.  What kind of chips y'all give away if you manage not to poop yourselves for a year?
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Dickie Dee on February 15, 2015, 03:16:43 PM
This thread is starting to read like a support thread for pant-shitters.  What kind of chips y'all give away if you manage not to poop yourselves for a year?

The ones they fry in Olestra.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on February 15, 2015, 03:24:34 PM
We need a poll to determine who will be next. My bet will be on AiA. He's arrogant enough to eat a full meal at a sports bar and decide to use the bathroom when he gets home instead of braving the restroom there. Alas on the way home his 2014 Mustang would break down, and he'd be faced with shitting his pants. I think he'd be strong enough to walk home while holding onto that dump. Ten miles later he'd walk into the house and head towards the bathroom only to be confronted by his wife questioning where he's been/who he was fucking/etc. Unable to escape the anger of a mad black woman, he'd just take a dump right there on the floor - not in defiance, but in utter defeat. Marry a black woman brehs.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 15, 2015, 03:28:44 PM
A_I_A would never publicly admit it though. 
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Cheddahz on February 15, 2015, 04:20:09 PM
Since I'm an ignorant person who doesn't like to shit in public (had to take a shit in elementary school and some dude decided to peek over the stall and call me out and ever since then, haven't want to take one in public), I've come close to it numerous times, but I just hold it out until I get home

It's gonna happen to me one of these days though and I know it  :goty2
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Yeti on February 15, 2015, 06:12:13 PM
Brian, did you end up having to sit in your own stew as you drive home? And if so, did the juices leak through your pants onto the car seat?
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Kara on February 15, 2015, 07:28:55 PM
it's a perfect storm of suspect diet choice, butthole integrity, bathroom availability, and bad luck. your day will come soon, you cleanpants

godspeed brandnew.

Mods pls change my name to Butthole Integrity tia.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: PlayDat on February 15, 2015, 11:28:08 PM
Between this and the "I shat mushrooms in a stranger's yard" story, Esch has in interesting history with shit. 

I've shat myself as an adult (and in my pre - late teens) more times than I can count, but that's somewhat normal for people with IBD.  The most interesting time I can think of in recent memory was when as I was headed back to campus on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  I've been having issues sleeping for over a year now (not insomnia, I just wake up too damn early most mornings), so despite going to bed shortly after midnight, I woke up at around 4:30 that morning which is even earlier than usual.  I'm a consistent morning shitter so as part of my daily routine I grabbed my towel and headed to the bathroom to get the shit & shower done in one trip.  I sat on the toilet for about 5 minutes and nothing came out, probably because this was about 2 hours earlier than my normal poop time.  I learned the hard way not to push too much when the shit's not coming so I got up and showered.  Since I was so far ahead of schedule I chilled for a little and ate breakfast.  Took my book bag and suitcase with me out the door at around 6:30. 

My bus was scheduled for 8:50 am, but there was an hour long subway ride before I could reach it.  The clock struck 7 not long after I boarded the train and I could feel my stomach rumbling.  I wasn't really surprised since that's the hour my shit-cadian rhythm settled on years ago.  I held it in for the rest of the train ride no problem.  Once I got out there was a four block walk to to the bus stop.

On foot, I moved a little moved a little more carefully than I typically would, but I really thought I'd be fine for some reason.  Even walked past a McDonald's which for sure would have had a restroom to use because I believed I could hold it until I got to my apartment.  Then as soon as I reached the block where lines of dozens of people waiting for their Megabus to show up it just happens.  Thankfully it wasn't one of those wet shits.  This one was a thick, goopy, viscous oatmeal shit.  As I walked it kept oozing out of my ass and I could feel it start to slide down my leg.  A few seconds later I felt something plop onto my right ankle.  I looked down and a marble sized piece of poo was sitting on my sneaker.  I bent down and grabbed one of the autumn leaves scattered on the ground.  Used it to pick the poo up which fortunately enough didn't leave too bad of a stain.  I don't even think anyone there noticed what was happening. 

At 8:50 the bus showed up and I sat on the shit for the 4 hour long trip.  In retrospect I should have just taken a pair of pants and underwear out of my luggage before stowing it under the bus.  There was even on a bathroom on there I could have used to change.  I don't know why that idea didn't come to mind at the time.  This disease has made me way too comfortable with having shit in my pants than any person should be.  I'm never completely at ease when it happens, but I think I can keep my cool in these types of situations far better than the average person.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: TakingBackSunday on February 16, 2015, 01:38:53 AM
Brian, did you end up having to sit in your own stew as you drive home? And if so, did the juices leak through your pants onto the car seat?

Fuck yeah I did, but luckily nothing leaked into my pants or the car seat.  But that didn't stop me from immediately throwing boxers, pants (and button-up shirt for good measure) into my washer as soon as I got home.  Scrubbed my car seat just in case, as well.

The crappy ((https://thegrip.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/mjfrog.gif)) thing was that when I farted, I couldn't really tell if it was sweaty or shitty ass-crack.  So I checked.  With my hand.

 :brazilcry

Had to drive home with the left hand while the right was quarantined from any contact with ANYTHING
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Rufus on February 16, 2015, 02:27:22 AM
Wow, good thing manual drive isn't common in America. :holeup
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: brawndolicious on February 16, 2015, 05:16:05 AM
My god Brian, you would rub ass sweat on your steering wheel?

The only accident I can remember happened in middle school when I was afraid of public bathroom shitting and forgot my keys when I got home. Waited an hour or two to see if my mom would come home but eventually clench walked to a McDonald's a couple miles away. My underwear did not survive the trip and I felt like a deer trying to be downwind of anyone on the way. When I get there, I enter a 1 person bathroom and it feels like an oasis to cleanse my shame. Resolved to never question what my butt wants.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on February 16, 2015, 10:44:20 AM
A_I_A would never publicly admit it though.

If you play football in college+ you have shit yourself during a game. It's not even rare, it's a weekly occurrence that somebody has to get new pants/pads at halftime. Hell we kept extra pairs of underwear in our lockers. Well those of us who didn't consider a jockstrap underwear.

I remember a guy getting hit so hard in the stomach he uncorked a monster liquid shit of the henny and chicken he ate the night before. Worst smell I ever encountered. He played the whole fucking game like that because nobody in their right mind wanted to waist tackle the fucker.

I mean what do you think this is?

(http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site568/2013/0122/20130122_011115_timbrown_300.jpg)

(https://fbexternal-a.akamaihd.net/safe_image.php?d=AQDT8r4taVGUmNZp&w=470&h=246&url=https%3A%2F%2Fscontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-xap1%2Fv%2Ft1.0-9%2F10386829_762816737145322_209186292371512051_n.png%3Foh%3Df9461e67bbe72a4b8c60bf223c7735b7%26oe%3D553AC5DD&cfs=1&upscale=1)
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 16, 2015, 10:52:58 AM
So how many times have you pooped yourself off the field?
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on February 16, 2015, 10:55:10 AM
So how many times have you pooped yourself off the field?

Off the field? Never.

Pissed myself real good once, had too much to drink and had to drive about an hour at 1am. All back roads in whiteyville so I had two choices....get out of my car, drunk, in the country to piss on the side of the road and pray a sheriff/statey wasn't there or piss myself and suck it up. I chose the latter.

Edit: To note: Ohio seems to have more cops than any other state in the Union. Horrible place to drive drunk fyi.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: PlayDat on February 16, 2015, 03:00:57 PM
So how many times have you pooped yourself off the field?

Off the field? Never.

Pissed myself real good once, had too much to drink and had to drive about an hour at 1am. All back roads in whiteyville so I had two choices....get out of my car, drunk, in the country to piss on the side of the road and pray a sheriff/statey wasn't there or piss myself and suck it up. I chose the latter.

Edit: To note: Ohio seems to have more cops than any other state in the Union. Horrible place to drive drunk fyi.

 :holeup
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: chronovore on February 16, 2015, 06:30:35 PM
Okay, I'll fess up. I was on Koh Phangan Thailand, and I'd been there about a week, going to beach parties every night. The previous night I'd gotten out of control on mushroom shakes, while also taking down 2-3 buckets, which each had a full flask of whiskey and some amphetamine-laced Thai energy drink. I think at some point, I accidentally smoked black tar heroin thinking it was hash. I smoked like two packs of cigarettes that night, and also drank many beers. Finally I drove home on a motorcycle over hilly jungle roads.

Point is, that morning I should have been dead. Yet something within me still clung to life. I stumbled out of the beach bungalow that I was sharing with some British lads and girls to smoke a cigarette. I was wearing my board shorts from the night before. As I was smoking, I had the urge to fart, but instead all my sins of the past few days came pouring out.

There was no hiding this. It was visibly running down my legs. In the bungalow, the others had woken up, and I could hear that they were looking for me so that we could all go get breakfast. I crouched down in he bushes, shit and dirt mixing together on my legs into a grimy outer shell. These were the most intense moments of my life. One of the lads' hawk-like gaze nearly found me out on more than one occasion. Finally they left. I dashed into the bungalow, grabbed a towel, and sprinted out to the water. The evidence washed off me in the cool morning waters of the Gulf of Thailand.

Later I caught up with the others at breakfast, and no one ever suspected.

It’s like Bond's recovery scene from Skyfall, the agent alone and damaged in Asia, not wanting to be found out... and poop.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 17, 2015, 12:00:17 PM

Esch got a bollywood movie made about his struggles.

http://i.imgur.com/00mZSGY.jpg
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 18, 2015, 09:39:28 PM
So walking Nami today, I feel a little wetness in the starfish region.  Due to this thread, my faith in ones ability to control their bowels, which I've had since I've been five, has been shattered.  In my state of no confidence, I rush home, only to discover the perpetrator was a bit of butt sweat.   

Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Rufus on February 19, 2015, 03:03:43 AM
Time to add Gold Bond to your morning routine.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Beezy on February 21, 2015, 09:36:25 PM
...today was not a good day :fbm
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Kara on February 21, 2015, 10:16:52 PM
If it makes you feel better, despite either of the two illnesses I have and my utter inability to keep food down, I still haven't shat myself.

(I'm saving that for hospice. :jawalrus)
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: nudemacusers on February 21, 2015, 11:49:11 PM
i was in the office one day and for some reason had to shit really badly but didn't want to go to the bathroom (feeling lazy? I don't remember why exactly), so I went into a corner and quietly took a dump on the floor. realizing the horror of my act, i quickly tried to wipe myself clean and cover the mess, which at that point had drawn the attention of numerous coworkers due to the smell. unable to use my +5 charisma modifier to talk my way out of the situation with finesse, i was swiftly directed to my manager who was more or less speechless that I would do such a bizarre thing.

I really had no answer, and before I could formulate one, I woke up and jumped up from the bed paranoid that I had shit myself in my sleep. I blame reading this thread last night for planting these demonic thoughts into my head.  >:(
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Huff on February 22, 2015, 12:44:53 AM
Had arbys before my flight today. Was shoving the hell out of old people to get off after landing to make it to a bathroom
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Kara on February 22, 2015, 12:46:59 AM
Had arbys before my flight today. Was shoving the hell out of old people to get off after landing to make it to a bathroom

what do u think they meant by the "i'm thinking arby's" ad campaign?
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Beezy on February 22, 2015, 07:39:26 AM
have I somehow ensorcelled this board into shitting itself
It really was a bad day for me though. My stomach didn't feel right since I woke up and then I ended up vomiting at about 10am. Pretty sure the pineapples that I ate the night before was the cause of this. I also felt like I had to shit a couple of times, but it was usually nothing. Sometime in the afternoon I was laying on my back on my bed and felt what I thought was a fart. Nope. I launched out of my bed as soon as I felt it and ran to the bathroom. Instantly thought of this thread when it happened. :lol
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: TakingBackSunday on February 22, 2015, 03:07:38 PM
Photo finish at the mall today :fbm

Had to have emptied a gallon of liquid shit
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Kara on February 22, 2015, 03:13:55 PM
BN pls eat more fiber. :stahp
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: TakingBackSunday on February 22, 2015, 03:17:41 PM
I think it may be a side effect of me taking lexapro?  Idk.  But yeah more fiber is needed
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Kara on February 22, 2015, 03:21:10 PM
more like letsapoop amirite
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 22, 2015, 03:27:47 PM
Recently I have come to view you guys as symbiote life forms that join with shit cans for life; just sitting there crapping and wanking it to relieve the stress of being a toilet symbiote.  I think, as a forum, we should go back to a state where some doors remain between us and our toilet habits.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 22, 2015, 04:40:21 PM
So Esch, tell me about what came out of you today?
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: TakingBackSunday on March 06, 2015, 04:50:47 PM
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1005406 (http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1005406)

:what

look at how many people are lying itt
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Steve Contra on March 06, 2015, 04:52:50 PM
Just once, when I was crazy sick and standing in my kitchen in just a robe.  Had to run to the shower and then scrub the floor.  Real talk.
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on March 06, 2015, 05:15:14 PM
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1005406 (http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1005406)

:what

look at how many people are lying itt

Maybe we just have a loosened sphincter bias over here. 
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: TakingBackSunday on March 06, 2015, 05:25:11 PM
sodomy is sodomy  :cody
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Kara on March 30, 2015, 12:28:07 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PseNrUeSmXk
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Phoenix Dark on March 30, 2015, 12:40:36 PM
almost shit myself when I saw Vularai bumped the thread
Title: Re: have you ever shit yourself as a full grown person?
Post by: Kara on June 25, 2015, 12:10:30 AM
<Aequitas> i was laying down about to catch a few more z's
<Aequitas> when i felt a rumblin'
<Aequitas> and i knew what was up, so i clinched and beat feet
<Aequitas> gf was fucking doing who knows what in my bathroom
<Aequitas> ofc
<Aequitas> she goes in there for fucking two hours like a fucking prom queen every morning
<Aequitas> so i go into the other bathroom, thats attached to my roommate's bedroom
<Aequitas> and im clenching with all my might
<Aequitas> i throw up the seat and drop trau
<Aequitas> but while im bent over ripping my drawers off i start going
<Aequitas> like not just a squirt came out
<Aequitas> it was free flowing
<Aequitas> i slammed my ass down but it was too late, i painted the underside of my roommate's toilet seat with brown sludge
<Aequitas> enough hit the seat to give it a pretty thorough once over coat top to bottom
<Aequitas> and when my ass hit the toilet i was STILL going full blast for like 30 seconds non stop
<Aequitas> after wards i wadded up some tp and just started scraping the seat like i was squeegie'ing a car windshield and it was sliding off in chunks into the toilet
<Aequitas> ofc it all slipped down thru the bottom of the seat and was all over the actual base of the toilet so i had to scrub in there real good with the scrubbin bubbles to get it all out
<Aequitas> what a debacle
<Aequitas> BUT
<Aequitas> at least i didnt shit my pants!



my brother from another mother is giving y'all Ls :dead :dead :dead