THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: StealthFan on March 24, 2015, 07:19:27 PM
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Crushed dreams and held onto my money for dear life.
You?
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Bickered about the cost of kosher hotdogs with my butcher.
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:foxx
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:foxx
:umad
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claimed minority status :smug
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:foxx
:umad
(http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/73580/73580,1310363151,1/stock-photo-jerusalem-israel-may-unidentified-israeli-army-girl-at-the-israel-expo-one-of-the-largest-80763157.jpg)
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Israeli smuts :noah
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Went to an audit.
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Worked 4 tax accounting schedules.
Refused to spend $5 or more for lunch. Did splurge for the $1 cookie though.
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Sorry boys Vularai wins.....fatality.
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Shared a drink with someone I've exchanged bodily fluids with, became neurotic about any possible implied meanings of this as well as whether or not that was sanitary.
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Took down a German flight over the Alps to bury a report that we spied on the Americans during negotiations with Iran #protocol42
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Argued over what's the best deli in town.
:ohhh
:ufup
On the watch list with you sir.
Signed,
Your Republican Congress
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picked up change off the floor in an empty apartment i was getting ready to paint
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Made a disturbance at congress* that sickened people
*the thread
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Ate at Taco Bell instead of Freebirds
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I occupied someone else's space with little to no justification.
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Reported this thread to the JDL.
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Listening to The Beastie Boys while buying candles
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Not today, but I did get to accuse one of my close friends of antisemitism yesterday.
Me: "Why didn't you invite me to [event]?"
Friend: "I knew you couldn't go." (this is 100% true)
Me: "It's because I'm Jewish."
Friend: "Goddamit, Mike and Jeff are going to be there. They're Jewish!"
Me: "Jeff is only half-Jewish. That's one and a half."
Friend: "I'm still counting them as two."
Me: "Oh, so now you're planning on rounding up the Jews?"
Friend: :beli
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Made facile remarks about Martin Heidegger at work because of his political affiliation.
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Visited my parents who returned from London today so I could pick up the tax-free they bought me.
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Live on Long Island
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counted money; didn't tip at the froyo joint
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Mandark, when you said 1 and a half jews were you setting up the rounding joke or did rounding up jews just come naturally to you?
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The pun occurred to me as he brought up our mutual Jewish buddies. From there it was pure comedic entrapment.
BONUS LEGIT ANSWER TO THREAD: Did not call or e-mail my grandmother and felt guilty about it.
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Stepped onto a packed train.
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Complained about the bagels I ate this morning.
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Calculated like-kind exchanges of fixed assets.
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Took down a German flight over the Alps to bury a report that we spied on the Americans during negotiations with Iran #protocol42
Told u guys
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Accounting
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Accounting
Last night I got back 5 extra dollars than I should of at Taco Bell. Drove away....felt guilty and came back and gave it to them.
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Accounting
Last night I got back 5 extra dollars than I should of at Taco Bell. Drove away....felt guilty and came back and gave it to them.
Last night when I was settling my bar tab at the comedy club, they only charged me for 3 beers instead of the 4 I ordered and drank. Being an evil cacdemon tho, I just paid for the three and left.
(It might have been a case of them just giving me a free beer- I'm on a first name basis with all the bar staff and I'm pretty sure the bartendress wants the D)
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Uncovered vendor fraud and reported it.
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Last night I got back 5 extra dollars than I should of at Taco Bell. Drove away....felt guilty and came back and gave it to them.
That isn't jewish at all :wag
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Sat back and remarked how much I really, really like direct banking.
Then I wondered if you could direct bank in Bosnian convertible marks.
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Someone asked me what a sabre was but they pronounced it "sabra" because lol French orthography and I said that it was a native born Israeli.
Somewhere Captain Dreyfus is smiling.
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my building has old victorian piping so the shower occasionally smells of gas.
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I sent out an email saying "What is this? A college paper? I said NO PIE CHARTS OR GAUGES! Data is a visual language, not a written one. Learn it."
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Watched a (clip of) an Ilsa video.
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my building has old victorian piping so the shower occasionally smells of gas.
I was going to post :dead but, you know. :larry
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More like :dead x several million
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Thought about hitting Elaine from Seinfeld.
:yeshrug
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Thought about hitting Elaine from Seinfeld.
:yeshrug
Makes sense considering she's a shiksa.
Today I learned what a shiksa and a shegetz are. Can't get much more Jewish than that (thanks wikipedia)
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Thought about hitting Elaine from Seinfeld.
:yeshrug
Makes sense considering she's a shiksa.
???
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Complained about the price of a router being $200. Oy vey.
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Thought about hitting Elaine from Seinfeld.
:yeshrug
Makes sense considering she's a shiksa.
???
Sir I am qualified to speak on this. What our friend Wrath is stating is that she is either a non-jew playing a jew on TV or a jew who doesn't follow her religious doctrine.
:mynicca
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Complained about the price of a router being $200. Oy vey.
That better be the best goddamn router of all time.
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Thought about hitting Elaine from Seinfeld.
:yeshrug
Makes sense considering she's a shiksa.
???
Sir I am qualified to speak on this. What our friend Wrath is stating is that she is either a non-jew playing a jew on TV or a jew who doesn't follow her religious doctrine.
:mynicca
What do you mean she "played a Jew on TV?" I don't remember anything regarding religion ever coming up. She's not Jewish, btw.
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Thought about hitting Elaine from Seinfeld.
:yeshrug
Makes sense considering she's a shiksa.
???
Sir I am qualified to speak on this. What our friend Wrath is stating is that she is either a non-jew playing a jew on TV or a jew who doesn't follow her religious doctrine.
:mynicca
What do you mean she "played a Jew on TV?" I don't remember anything regarding religion ever coming up. She's not Jewish, btw.
:mindblown
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She doesn't consider herself Jewish, but yeah, Dreyfus...no mistaking that
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She doesn't consider herself Jewish, but yeah, Dreyfus...no mistaking that
Nah.
During this time, her father fled to America from France.[5][6] Her paternal grandmother, Dolores (Neubauer), and her mother, were American. Her paternal grandfather was from an Alsatian Jewish family, although Louis-Dreyfus does not consider herself Jewish.[7][8] Her other ancestry is German, Brazilian, Mexican, English, French, Scottish, and Scots-Irish
Only her grandfather was Jewish. That means she's not. However Elaine's character is supposedly based on Carol Leifer, who wrote for the show and dated Seinfeld, who is Jewish. And who is also a lesbian. Seinfield has that effect on women, I guess.
Am I the only one who thought she was related to Richard Dreyfus for the longest time? :lol
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She doesn't consider herself Jewish, but yeah, Dreyfus...no mistaking that
Nah.
During this time, her father fled to America from France.[5][6] Her paternal grandmother, Dolores (Neubauer), and her mother, were American. Her paternal grandfather was from an Alsatian Jewish family, although Louis-Dreyfus does not consider herself Jewish.[7][8] Her other ancestry is German, Brazilian, Mexican, English, French, Scottish, and Scots-Irish
Only her grandfather was Jewish. That means she's not.
Am I the only one who thought she was related to Richard Dreyfus for the longest time? :lol
I thought she was his wife :yeshrug
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Wikipedia has way too much information on Seinfeld. :lol
Elaine is confirmed to be a gentile in "The Postponement", when she talked to a rabbi about not being herself after finding out George got engaged before she did. She tells him she is not of his Jewish faith. Elaine also states that she is not Jewish in "The Fatigues." Though her ethnicity is never made clear, the name Beneš (anglicized as Benes) is a common Czech surname.
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During this time, her father fled to America from France.[5][6] Her paternal grandmother, Dolores (Neubauer), and her mother, were American. Her paternal grandfather was from an Alsatian Jewish family, although Louis-Dreyfus does not consider herself Jewish.[7][8] Her other ancestry is German, Brazilian, Mexican, English, French, Scottish, and Scots-Irish
Only her grandfather was Jewish. That means she's not.
Close enough. :hitler
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What I'm saying is that with the last name Dreyfus she's considered Jewish by almost everyone. It's like how Obama is black despite being half white. This goes doubly in France and Europe in general.
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Ya. The one drop rule is the golden rule of racism.
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Ya. The one drop rule is the golden rule of racism.
Basically this.
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Guys I was talking about a Seinfeld episode where jewish guys want her cause she's a shiksa :lol I wasn't trying to spark a debate on whether she's Jewish or not.
Like we're going to believe you weren't trying to stir up trouble with the Jews :bolo
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Isn't she one of the wealthiest people in the world? though inheritance? Just saying.
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Wait...I just participated in a debate over whether or not an actress and the character she played are Jewish. There's my Jew moment of the day. Well, one of them...I suppose everything I do is "Jewishist." :P
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I'm out to get you, Contra. :bolo
Your little winery is going to be gone soon enough.
We'll see about that (http://www.fbi.gov/contact-us)
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Steve isn't jewish Wrath. I think you got bad intel. Maybe you should find another target. And execute your plan on them.
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Listened to some Meshugga
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmGtu5k8hrs
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I'm out to get you, Contra. :bolo
Your little winery is going to be gone soon enough.
Jihad declared.
Well albeit a minor one where Wrath will come to your winery, be kinda douchey, pay his bill. And leave a neg review on yelp.
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Yelp? pfffffft. I'm going to start a hashtag campaign.
:badass
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I grabbed some lunch and when waiting in line, there were two Jewesses ahead of me and they were complaining the entire time.
I guess we need a "what is the jewiest thing that happened to you today" thread
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I grabbed some lunch and when waiting in line, there were two Jewesses ahead of me and they were complaining the entire time.
I guess we need a "what is the jewiest thing that happened to you today" thread
(http://i.imgur.com/1WNf2d7.jpg)
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She doesn't consider herself Jewish, but yeah, Dreyfus...no mistaking that
Nah.
During this time, her father fled to America from France.[5][6] Her paternal grandmother, Dolores (Neubauer), and her mother, were American. Her paternal grandfather was from an Alsatian Jewish family, although Louis-Dreyfus does not consider herself Jewish.[7][8] Her other ancestry is German, Brazilian, Mexican, English, French, Scottish, and Scots-Irish
Only her grandfather was Jewish. That means she's not.
Read your Law of Return, Humberto Halakha. :ufup
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I'm talking Jewish religion/identity, not Israeli citizenship. What does that have to with anything? If her mother wasn't Jewish, she's not considered Jewish either.
:bolo
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Goysplaining that Judaism's matrilineal. :shaq2
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I'm talking Jewish religion/identity, not Israeli citizenship. What does that have to with anything? If her mother wasn't Jewish, she's not considered Jewish either.
:bolo
Yes, what would a Jewish nation-state's concept of Jewishness have to do with who is and who is not a Jew. :beli
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Israeli smuts :noah
You hate the jews but want to hatefuck their women. I don't get you.
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I'm talking Jewish religion/identity, not Israeli citizenship. What does that have to with anything? If her mother wasn't Jewish, she's not considered Jewish either.
:bolo
Yes, what would a Jewish nation-state's concept of Jewishness have to do with who is and who is not a Jew. :beli
Other than trying to get people to move there to build up their population. :beli
Her parents aren't Jewish. :beli
She isn't Jewish. :beli
This is really stupid. :beli
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Goysplaining that Judaism's matrilineal. :shaq2
I look forward to Vox explaining these words to me in 7 easy steps, one day.
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Goysplaining that Judaism's matrilineal. :shaq2
I look forward to Vox explaining these words to me in 7 easy steps, one day.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matrilineality_in_Judaism
The Mishnah (Kiddushin 3:12) states that, to be a Jew, one must be either the child of a Jewish mother or a convert to Judaism, (ger tzedek, "righteous convert"). This law originated in the Talmud (Kiddushin 68b).
This is just stupid because one grandparent was Jewish and the rest of her family is not. We're arguing about nothing...just like in a Seinfeld episode!
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l'affaire Louis-Dreyfus
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Actually we're rehashing an argument that ran through the diaspora throughout most of the modern era before the creation of Israel.
BTW, the Law of Return is derived from classifications thrust on Jews during the diaspora (and, in particular, the Nuremberg Laws), saying it's just a ploy to expand the citizen pool is both factually inaccurate and can be construed as antisemitic depending on your local ADL.
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A senator from my religion made the news for wanting to make church attendance compulsory.
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Your religion has senators?
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=from+my+religion%2C+of+my+religion&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cfrom%20my%20religion%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cof%20my%20religion%3B%2Cc0
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(http://i.imgur.com/PmihzYg.gif)
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I'm on jswipe
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Lied about observing Lent.
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Watching Curb your enthusiasm. :larry
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Lied about observing Lent.
this can also count as the most Catholic thing you did today
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Kosher deli food truck came to work today. Didn't get anything because it was too pricey.
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Lied about observing Lent.
this can also count as the most Catholic thing you did today
They all seem to be pescetarians on Fridays when we go out. :beli
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I didn't give up anything for lent
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Explained to my family members a few differences between Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews at dinner today.
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Understood all the Yiddish hurled in a back and forth between Jewish mobsters.
Bonus: became neurotic about whether a boy of 12 could still be a pisher.
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Watching Curb your enthusiasm. :larry
Which epsiode breh?