THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Cerveza mas fina on April 18, 2015, 03:43:09 AM

Title: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on April 18, 2015, 03:43:09 AM
Whats your stance dadbore?

I think it would be amazing to stay home a year or so with the lil one after my wife is done with maternity leave :)

Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: king of the internet on April 18, 2015, 03:52:12 AM
Yay. Sounds like fun.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Barry Egan on April 18, 2015, 03:55:51 AM
is "don't have a kid, kids are dumb" still on the table?  I choose don't have a kid.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: archnemesis on April 18, 2015, 04:07:57 AM
I'm taking at least six months of parental leave. Beyond that I wouldn't enjoy being stuck at home doing household chores.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on April 18, 2015, 04:14:10 AM
I don't mind those, staying home for a few years would suck financially though. Used to be you could live well of one salary but thats not the case anymore
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: brawndolicious on April 18, 2015, 04:18:01 AM
It's very tempting for everyone to spend as much time as possible caring for the baby but you'll go stir crazy eventually when that becomes your whole life. Plus there's that gap in your career (although that's usually longer than just one year) so I know personally that i wouldn't want to do that and wouldn't feel fair if the partner took it all on. No I don't know how I'll ever breed.

My experience comes from when I was in my late teens and my mom had my little brother so basically I did about half as many hours of child care as her since I of course had to go to classes (older brother was away in uni and dad didn't do much).
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Narolf on April 18, 2015, 05:13:48 AM
https://www.reddit.com/r/NeoFAG/comments/2wtdcn/lets_be_honest_about_kagari/
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Fifstar on April 18, 2015, 05:18:22 AM
I hate some household work, don't mind some of it and love doing some. That's probably a better than any job I can get realistically for the next couple of years (more likely forever) but the dependency would suck too much plus like you said one salary isn't really enough for a family anymore.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on April 18, 2015, 08:09:03 AM
There was a book Elizabeth Warren put out a while ago saying that a dual income didn't help out much because a lot of the extra expenditures (like child care) often ate a lot into the second income so it was basically a wash for a typical family.  This is the US though, maybe it is different in Europe.

I say go for it if you can swing it.  Even if you have to reduce expenditures to do so.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on April 18, 2015, 08:33:06 AM
No, hell no. A man's value is directly correlated to his ability to provide for his family.

I know the rest of bore will hate that answer but it's true. You really want your kid's primary male role model to be some dickless lazy fuck who washes the laundry every day?
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on April 18, 2015, 08:34:34 AM
https://www.reddit.com/r/NeoFAG/comments/2wtdcn/lets_be_honest_about_kagari/

I'm also going to say what nobody else will. You're fucking weird man.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Supermanisdead on April 18, 2015, 09:58:23 AM
It's my dream to marry rich and raise babies with the help of like 2-3 nannies.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Narolf on April 18, 2015, 10:01:20 AM
At least Mass Zerox20 was being honest with her to some extent. Mass Zero, being the sad fuck he is, would have had asked her the right to get laid, get a job, do the house-work, walk the dog, prepare the meals while complaining how often she is on the Internet altogether.

This tweet was supposed to be private: https://twitter.com/RDF2050/status/567602994544652288

It's the ultimate proof Mass Zero still has an Internet connection despite absolutely showing no sign of activity on DisorderForums in whatsoever shape or form for almost a year now: http://dissidiaforums.com/member.php?1-Mass-Zero

I won't even mention how he trolls everyone with his PSNProfile receiving new trophies on a daily basis and me personally with his Mikasa Ackerman avatar. It's best to take a chuckle out of his bullshit at some point: http://dissidiaforums.com/showthread.php?16603-The-forums

But soon, he & Spyder will finally be delivered from their eternal torment. I don't know how the romantical arc of my Final Fantasy will end, but I know for sure its iniatory journey will end soon. Very, very soon.

Dong.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Rufus on April 18, 2015, 11:12:38 AM
All this archaic masculinity rubbish, didn't expect that. If your wife makes more than you, maybe tuck it in a work part-time while tending to the spawn. If it's 50/50, flip a coin.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Courage on April 18, 2015, 12:13:36 PM
All this archaic masculinity rubbish, didn't expect that. If your wife makes more than you, maybe tuck it in a work part-time while tending to the spawn. If it's 50/50, flip a coin.

This.

You can still be your kid's role model without ascribing to the now outdated male Breadwinner model. It's 2015 y'all.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Courage on April 18, 2015, 12:15:18 PM
Does this Creepy Stalker guy like every post on the fucking forum? WTF
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Supermanisdead on April 18, 2015, 12:17:23 PM
Creepy Stalker's art could mean anything
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Huff on April 18, 2015, 12:49:31 PM
If someone needs to stay home, seems obvious that the person who makes the most or has the potential to grow should continue to work.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Rman on April 18, 2015, 01:41:34 PM
No, hell no. A man's value is directly correlated to his ability to provide for his family.

I know the rest of bore will hate that answer but it's true. You really want your kid's primary male role model to be some dickless lazy fuck who washes the laundry every day?

Gotta say I agree with this.  I think if you have a home based business or work from home its fine.

Even that, little kids require constant attention, so even that may not be productive.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Narolf on April 18, 2015, 02:02:04 PM
All this archaic masculinity rubbish, didn't expect that. If your wife makes more than you, maybe tuck it in a work part-time while tending to the spawn. If it's 50/50, flip a coin.
I know you were speaking by and large, but I would like to address this comment on a personal level.

The economical argument isn't an excuse, neither is the "but she is five years and a half older than you!" bullshit. The man remains the one shipping & providing, in my book. I picked up the wrong green card (http://urgencesmondor.aphp.fr/IMG/arton62.jpg) in 2013 and our relationship seems to be a platonic Tatsuya Suou & Maya Amano... for now, since we are yet to be at the end of the road.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on April 18, 2015, 02:38:52 PM
Didnt expect Aia saying that and people agreeing as well.

Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Atramental on April 18, 2015, 02:47:00 PM
I'm a stay at home son.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
:stahp
[close]
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Mr. Nobody on April 18, 2015, 02:50:04 PM
All this archaic masculinity rubbish, didn't expect that. If your wife makes more than you, maybe tuck it in a work part-time while tending to the spawn. If it's 50/50, flip a coin.
I know you were speaking by and large, but I would like to address this comment on a personal level.

The economical argument isn't an excuse, neither is the "but she is five years and a half older than you!" bullshit. The man remains the one shipping & providing, in my book. I picked up the wrong green card (http://urgencesmondor.aphp.fr/IMG/arton62.jpg) in 2013 and our relationship seems to be a platonic Tatsuya Suou & Maya Amano... for now, since we are yet to be at the end of the road.

I understood that reference  :leon
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Kara on April 18, 2015, 02:57:02 PM
I took AiA's advice about being more alpha. The last time I went for a ride I spat at an elderly gentleman after he almost caused a 3 person accident for being omega :trash and I ran a well past morbidly obese dad teaching his daughter how to ride a bike off the road. I also whistled at him like he was a dog to get his attention.

Don't misunderstand, I found all of this great, but it can either be Rich or Poor Dad advice.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Reb on April 18, 2015, 03:07:15 PM
I'm a stay at home son.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
:stahp
[close]

Not every thread is about you.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Rufus on April 18, 2015, 04:30:51 PM
The man remains the one shipping & providing, in my book.
Why? Beyond tradition, I mean.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: CatsCatsCats on April 18, 2015, 04:53:02 PM
Stay at home dad would be the bestttttttt
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Madrun Badrun on April 18, 2015, 04:55:27 PM
I like the idea, but frankly I would just play Civ V and let the kid starve.  Accidentally of course. 
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Narolf on April 18, 2015, 05:58:00 PM
Rufus, "providing" is debatable in the case at hand, but the shipping part is self-explanatory for me, as obnoxious as I might sound here. Would you let your daughter go to visit her boyfriend if she were in a long-distance relationship? Or would you expect the BF to come to visit your home? For the first meeting I mean.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: lennedsay on April 19, 2015, 12:12:37 AM
If you think you could handle and enjoy it, do it! My husband would be a great stay at home dad. My daughter's used to seeing both of us cook, do laundry, clean, do yard work, etc. I hope she grows up not thinking that cleaning is "women's work" and men are supposed to "provide for the family." We all pitch in, her included, to keep the house clean and us fed.

My mom stayed home and my dad worked, and I thought my dad was a complete lazy ass. I saw my mom cooking and cleaning and taking care of us and my grandparents all day and night, and my dad busted his ass at work and came home and slept all evening. I grew up thinking, "Wow, I hope I don't marry a guy that won't help me do grocery shopping or clean." My mom has the same health disorder I have, and it's hard for us to get around sometimes, and my dad never once stopped at the store for her or threw a load of laundry in. Not because he's an asshole, but because he's completely helpless without her.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Kara on April 19, 2015, 12:17:01 AM
I've done housework my whole life... I can't imagine not doing it TBH. And maybe 5% of "providers" work as many hours a week as I do.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
:brazilcry
[close]

If y'all wanna jerk yo-selves off for being the domestic equivalent of a designated hitter, be my guest. :badass
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Sausage on April 19, 2015, 03:03:44 AM
All dad's @re cool.  Fuck off Barolf
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Kara on April 19, 2015, 03:19:59 AM
My dad isn't cool. :ufup
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on April 19, 2015, 04:53:00 AM
If you think you could handle and enjoy it, do it! My husband would be a great stay at home dad. My daughter's used to seeing both of us cook, do laundry, clean, do yard work, etc. I hope she grows up not thinking that cleaning is "women's work" and men are supposed to "provide for the family." We all pitch in, her included, to keep the house clean and us fed.

My mom stayed home and my dad worked, and I thought my dad was a complete lazy ass. I saw my mom cooking and cleaning and taking care of us and my grandparents all day and night, and my dad busted his ass at work and came home and slept all evening. I grew up thinking, "Wow, I hope I don't marry a guy that won't help me do grocery shopping or clean." My mom has the same health disorder I have, and it's hard for us to get around sometimes, and my dad never once stopped at the store for her or threw a load of laundry in. Not because he's an asshole, but because he's completely helpless without her.

What kind if work did your dad do?

Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: chronovore on April 19, 2015, 05:55:06 AM
Didnt expect Aia saying that and people agreeing as well.
I’m taking a turn as a stay-at-home dad, and the worst thing about it is that it eats into my work time as I establish my start-up business. In general, I’m really enjoying being here for my kids and helping out around the house. My wife and I have always worked full time and split chores according to our individual schedules.

Lager, you’ll need to make time for yourself, as raising a kid is an all-overtime, all-the-time job. It’s not enough just to have your spouse’s help once she’s home from work, you’ll need to have a day where she is looking after the child and you’re free to clear your stress.

AiA’s wrong about stay-at-home fathers, and about saying stuff that no-one else will say. Yeah, TheBore.com is full of a bunch of shrinking violets. Sure.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Rufus on April 19, 2015, 07:19:38 AM
Rufus, "providing" is debatable in the case at hand, but the shipping part is self-explanatory for me, as obnoxious as I might sound here. Would you let your daughter go to visit her boyfriend if she were in a long-distance relationship? Or would you expect the BF to come to visit your home? For the first meeting I mean.
I would probably want him to meet her at home, in which case being a stay-at-home dad would be even better, no? You could judge the guy all day long.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Narolf on April 19, 2015, 07:50:39 AM
Rufus, you want your daughter's e-boyfriend to meet her at your home after watching the movie Megan Is Missing. Whether you are a "stay-at-home dad" or not has nothing to do with this.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Rufus on April 19, 2015, 07:53:04 AM
Mom can wield a knife just fine if she has to.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: lennedsay on April 19, 2015, 11:27:15 AM
If you think you could handle and enjoy it, do it! My husband would be a great stay at home dad. My daughter's used to seeing both of us cook, do laundry, clean, do yard work, etc. I hope she grows up not thinking that cleaning is "women's work" and men are supposed to "provide for the family." We all pitch in, her included, to keep the house clean and us fed.

My mom stayed home and my dad worked, and I thought my dad was a complete lazy ass. I saw my mom cooking and cleaning and taking care of us and my grandparents all day and night, and my dad busted his ass at work and came home and slept all evening. I grew up thinking, "Wow, I hope I don't marry a guy that won't help me do grocery shopping or clean." My mom has the same health disorder I have, and it's hard for us to get around sometimes, and my dad never once stopped at the store for her or threw a load of laundry in. Not because he's an asshole, but because he's completely helpless without her.

What kind if work did your dad do?



Construction. So he was legitimately exhausted when he came home. But my mom had it so cushy for him that he didn't have to do anything else anyway.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on April 19, 2015, 01:25:03 PM
No, hell no. A man's value is directly correlated to his ability to provide for his family.

I know the rest of bore will hate that answer but it's true. You really want your kid's primary male role model to be some dickless lazy fuck who washes the laundry every day?

i don't value any man who can't adapt to the needs of his family, rather than saddle his own unthinking ass with some idiotic cultural assumption of role.

you wife makes more and you're interested in raising the kid? do it. put your brain before your balls.

also, i'll cop to a little butthurt with that remark, aia: my stay-at-home wife works HARDER than i do. i have MAD respect for her. raising a kid is the biggest pain in the ass out there, unless you're a dickhead partially absent parent.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: DCharlieJP on April 19, 2015, 01:51:00 PM

Quote
I think it would be amazing to stay home a year or so with the lil one after my wife is done with maternity leave

thanks to a joyous "gardening leave/non compete" agreement i got a nice 4 months off coupled with a 2 month holiday before starting my new job just after our second kid was born - my wife was on maternity leave as well so we all got to have 6 glorious months together as a family with no work to worry about. I heartily recommend it - plus you get some quality time to bond.



Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on April 19, 2015, 03:35:19 PM
Didnt expect Aia saying that and people agreeing as well.
I’m taking a turn as a stay-at-home dad, and the worst thing about it is that it eats into my work time as I establish my start-up business. In general, I’m really enjoying being here for my kids and helping out around the house. My wife and I have always worked full time and split chores according to our individual schedules.

Lager, you’ll need to make time for yourself, as raising a kid is an all-overtime, all-the-time job. It’s not enough just to have your spouse’s help once she’s home from work, you’ll need to have a day where she is looking after the child and you’re free to clear your stress.

AiA’s wrong about stay-at-home fathers, and about saying stuff that no-one else will say. Yeah, TheBore.com is full of a bunch of shrinking violets. Sure.

Im not a stay at home dad atm, my wife is on maternity leave for a bit more. I do earn a little bit more but my job situation is uncertain and I dont really likenit anyway. Id love a fee months or a year to be with our baby and take care of the house stuff.

We split duties 50/50 as much as possible now and I take more pride in helping out and doing dad/home things then anything else Ive ever done.

How long have you been staying at home now? And when do you find time to setup yout business?

My wife is super cool, she said she would def support if I chose to go back to school again to be able to change careers, but I dont want to just jump ship while lot of money is coming in. We can survive on one salary but it won't be luxury life.

Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on April 19, 2015, 03:38:12 PM

Quote
I think it would be amazing to stay home a year or so with the lil one after my wife is done with maternity leave

thanks to a joyous "gardening leave/non compete" agreement i got a nice 4 months off coupled with a 2 month holiday before starting my new job just after our second kid was born - my wife was on maternity leave as well so we all got to have 6 glorious months together as a family with no work to worry about. I heartily recommend it - plus you get some quality time to bond.

Nice!

I had 2 weeks together, a month or two would be just a dream come true for both of us.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: nudemacusers on April 19, 2015, 03:38:32 PM
i was a stay at home dad for a bit a while ago :yeshrug just how it worked out re: income/childcare costs. my wife's schedule was so arbitrary that we would have needed a babysitter to basically be on call, and that really is not tenable in the area we lived in. wasn't so bad, but I like to work and socialize at work, so I prefer not to do it. I think the idea that you can tie manliness into is overblown, she was still on her knees beggin for it every night :phil
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Kara on April 19, 2015, 03:54:16 PM
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Wages_for_Housework_Campaign
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: chronovore on April 19, 2015, 09:09:03 PM
I started my business at the mid/end of 2013, when it became clear that we weren't going to move back to the USA any time soon. It's been slow going, and I'm grateful for my wife's income while I get things moving.

My kids are both fairly far along, one is finishing elementary, the other starting high school.

Trying to do anything other than raise a kid the first year, probably two years, is an act of hubris. I could barely find my ass with both hands during that initial time with our first kid.
Title: Re: Be a stay at home dad, yay or nay?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on April 20, 2015, 04:01:50 AM
Advice taken onboard.

Now where is my ass again?