THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: meeb on October 08, 2015, 08:01:02 PM

Title: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 08, 2015, 08:01:02 PM
I apologize for this autist level post. But if I wanted to chat up dudes at a bar, what exactly do I say? Note that I really don't care to learn more about them, I just want in their pants. Do I just pretend to myself that I really want to know more about them?
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Atramental on October 08, 2015, 08:03:49 PM
"Netflix and ch-I'll suck you off?" :doge
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Human Snorenado on October 08, 2015, 08:46:14 PM
I mean, dudes are pretty straightforward. "DTF?" pretty much works.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Barry Egan on October 08, 2015, 09:04:31 PM
have you tried finding other autists in the area who wants similar things?
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on October 08, 2015, 09:21:55 PM
dunno but on several occasions I've had a dude come into the bar, ask me if i'm gay (no), buy me a drink and then leave.

:idont
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 08, 2015, 09:24:05 PM
have you tried finding other autists in the area who wants similar things?

Is there an app for that?
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Atramental on October 08, 2015, 09:29:51 PM
https://www.spectrumsingles.com/

Website.  :idont
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 08, 2015, 09:51:38 PM
Are you a girl?
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 08, 2015, 10:06:22 PM
Are you a girl?

No.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 08, 2015, 10:16:52 PM
Are you a girl?

No.

(http://i.imgur.com/YGi67ba.png)
well you're on your own then
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: nudemacusers on October 08, 2015, 10:39:24 PM
Are you a girl?

No.

(http://i.imgur.com/YGi67ba.png)
well you're on your own then
pd cornering the market I see :hitler
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Mr Gilhaney on October 08, 2015, 10:42:43 PM
I was reading this book about Jeffrey Dahmer, at one point some guy gives him a hand written note at the library that just says he can go to the toilet to get his dick sucked. I mean, it's worth a shot and will save you embarrassment if they don't want to. Just give them the note and leave.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Junpei the Tracer! on October 08, 2015, 10:45:15 PM
well meeb if you became a girl, you can be autistic all you want because men will approach you and you don't have to do any work.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: brawndolicious on October 08, 2015, 11:09:51 PM
I guess you could just try grindr if you're worried about getting embarrassed but generally gay dudes just straight up asked me to go back to their apartment and even though I'm straight, I enjoyed the attention so don't worry so much about your ego when you graduate from Internet hook ups to real life hook ups. Be sure to use condoms (and lube?) before getting down with a dude you just met though.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on October 08, 2015, 11:13:42 PM
I don't get this. I don't think it's anything with autism. I've heard other guys asking how to approach guys and I'm like  :what
"You're a dude, you know dudes. What's so difficult? You know how this works, 'wanna fuck?' and you're done"
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: nudemacusers on October 08, 2015, 11:54:03 PM
I guess you could just try grindr if you're worried about getting embarrassed but generally gay dudes just straight up asked me to go back to their apartment and even though I'm straight, I enjoyed the attention so don't worry so much about your ego when you graduate from Internet hook ups to real life hook ups. Be sure to use condoms (and lube?) before getting down with a dude you just met though.
yea i've had dudes straight up ask me if i want to go to their apartment after a 10 minute convo and them buying me drinks :kobeyuck

Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Human Snorenado on October 09, 2015, 12:04:42 AM
I got propositioned a month ago. Granted, the circumstances were pretty hilarious- without realizing it, I went to the Spectrum (LGBT dance party) at DragonCon immediately after my friend's dirty game show panel, and I was wearing a t-shirt that said "Mayor of Fuck City," a pink sash that said "Mayor" on it and a paper crown. Also, I have a stupidly large beard. Within two minutes some precious little 25 year old was asking me to be his daddy. Had to break his heart.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on October 09, 2015, 12:24:00 AM
I guess you could just try grindr if you're worried about getting embarrassed but generally gay dudes just straight up asked me to go back to their apartment and even though I'm straight, I enjoyed the attention so don't worry so much about your ego when you graduate from Internet hook ups to real life hook ups. Be sure to use condoms (and lube?) before getting down with a dude you just met though.
yea i've had dudes straight up ask me if i want to go to their apartment after a 10 minute convo and them buying me drinks :kobeyuck
I know, wasting drinks like that.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Tasty on October 09, 2015, 12:28:32 AM
Just get drunk and let them take advantage of you, word to Andrex

Put this strategy to use on Wednesday. :preach
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Shaka Khan on October 09, 2015, 12:47:36 AM
You gently brush their elbows, then whisper into their ears: "follow me to the bathroom and I will snort your turd."

Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 09, 2015, 03:57:51 PM
Also, I have a stupidly large beard. Within two minutes some precious little 25 year old was asking me to be his daddy. Had to break his heart.

Sure you weren't at a black strip club?
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 09, 2015, 04:16:23 PM
I was reading this book about Jeffrey Dahmer, at one point some guy gives him a hand written note at the library that just says he can go to the toilet to get his dick sucked. I mean, it's worth a shot and will save you embarrassment if they don't want to. Just give them the note and leave.

May wanna ease off on using pickup tips you found in a Jeffrey Dahmer biography, unless you're ready to go Full Arvie.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 09, 2015, 04:25:10 PM
Just get drunk and let them take advantage of you, word to Andrex

Not attractive enough.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Dickie Dee on October 09, 2015, 04:34:49 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/YGi67ba.png)

(http://i.imgur.com/YGi67ba.png)

omg. best emoticon.

floored
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Dickie Dee on October 09, 2015, 04:43:25 PM
nm
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Huff on October 09, 2015, 04:46:03 PM
Isn't grindr all about getting the D?

Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 09, 2015, 05:13:35 PM
Isn't grindr all about getting the D?

According to some of the dudes on GAF, if you aren't handsome or ripped you'll have no luck with Grindr. Granted most of the dudes saying that are fat. I'm just thin as a rail.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Your Stalker on October 09, 2015, 05:22:13 PM
are twinks not en vogue these days?
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Mupepe on October 09, 2015, 05:24:50 PM
"Your boyfriend's a badass" and then you get two d's.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Tasty on October 09, 2015, 05:46:42 PM
Just get drunk and let them take advantage of you, word to Andrex

Not attractive enough.


Unless you're too obese to move or suffer from a disability of some sort, i find this hard to believe. The gays aren't known for being picky.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
word to Andrex
[close]

Fuck you, slut :brazilcry
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 09, 2015, 10:06:39 PM
are twinks not en vogue these days?

They are. But only those with handsome faces.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 09, 2015, 10:07:41 PM
Post a pic of your face so we can judge.

basically if Andrex will fuck you I'm sure there are various dudes out there who will too.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 09, 2015, 10:21:12 PM
Post a pic of your face so we can judge.

basically if Andrex will fuck you I'm sure there are various dudes out there who will too.

Hmm I'm considering it, but the second I do the picture is going all over neofag isnt it.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 09, 2015, 10:25:20 PM
use the "hide content from guests" option
:yeshrug
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Tasty on October 10, 2015, 12:12:59 AM
Post a pic of your face so we can judge.

basically if Andrex will fuck you I'm sure there are various dudes out there who will too.

How the fuck did I become the gay baseline judge? :lol
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 10, 2015, 12:46:06 AM
Post a pic of your face so we can judge.

basically if Andrex will fuck you I'm sure there are various dudes out there who will too.

How the fuck did I become the gay baseline judge? :lol

I'm just showing you the respect you deserve breh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-Ky3tfx4Js&feature=youtu.be
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: chronovore on October 10, 2015, 11:27:31 AM
I guess you could just try grindr if you're worried about getting embarrassed but generally gay dudes just straight up asked me to go back to their apartment and even though I'm straight, I enjoyed the attention so don't worry so much about your ego when you graduate from Internet hook ups to real life hook ups. Be sure to use condoms (and lube?) before getting down with a dude you just met though.
yea i've had dudes straight up ask me if i want to go to their apartment after a 10 minute convo and them buying me drinks :kobeyuck

Well, shit, I'd do that to you, too. We'd just end up playing Tobal 2 or Worms, no sword fighting.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 10, 2015, 07:28:26 PM
use the "hide content from guests" option
:yeshrug

Actually where is that option?
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Rufus on October 10, 2015, 09:22:13 PM
The padlock button next to the quote button in the full editor. Alternatively, [hide ]shame or steam keys[ /hide].
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 10, 2015, 10:16:28 PM
the suspense is killing me :whoo

Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Shaka Khan on October 12, 2015, 01:39:23 AM
Isn't grindr all about getting the D?

According to some of the dudes on GAF, if you aren't handsome or ripped you'll have no luck with Grindr. Granted most of the dudes saying that are fat. I'm just thin as a rail.

As long you're willing to lower your standards, you will get the D on grindr— body weight notwithstanding. The "dudes on GAF" are probably the self-loathing, socially inept, ruminating bunch.

Also, post a pic. Who knows, maybe your inbox will get my D.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 12, 2015, 07:49:04 PM
Fine.

First things first: Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 12, 2015, 07:50:00 PM
Ok.

Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.

edit: Jesus fuck this image got compressed to hell. Idk how to get around that.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 12, 2015, 07:51:38 PM
naturally you post it when I'm at a public place and thus don't want to bring up a pic of a dude on my phone
:stahp

you better not delete it before I get outta here
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: OnlyRegret on October 12, 2015, 07:55:12 PM
Just take a bathroom break
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 12, 2015, 08:00:48 PM
You kind of look like a serial killer and I mean that in the best possible way.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 12, 2015, 08:03:23 PM
You kind of look like a serial killer and I mean that in the best possible way.

I've been told once before in the past (like 8 years ago) that I don't simply look the part. But I can assure you I'm not... yet.

Also do I look like an ugly serial killer is my question.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: brawndolicious on October 12, 2015, 08:07:29 PM
Who the fuck told you you were ugly is my question? I'd say you're definitely above average.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 12, 2015, 08:10:54 PM
You kind of look like a serial killer and I mean that in the best possible way.

Also do I look like an ugly serial killer is my question.

Well I wouldn't want to run into you in a dark alley
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: brob on October 12, 2015, 08:11:13 PM
My immediate reaction was to think that you wouldn't look out of place in a gay porn scene set in a college library. Post up at a gay spot with a foucault paperback, a nice sweater/shirt combo and daddies will be swarming quick imo.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 12, 2015, 08:20:29 PM
Who the fuck told you you were ugly is my question? I'd say you're definitely above average.

Lets bang.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 12, 2015, 08:23:51 PM
My immediate reaction was to think that you wouldn't look out of place in a gay porn scene set in a college library. Post up at a gay spot with a foucault paperback, a nice sweater/shirt combo and daddies will be swarming quick imo.

Speaking of which, I could use general fashion advice I suppose.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: brawndolicious on October 12, 2015, 08:44:28 PM
As far as fashion advice, what you like to wear is important because you can tell when someone is trying hard. That means that you have to find something chic that works for you.


Who the fuck told you you were ugly is my question? I'd say you're definitely above average.

Lets bang.

I'm straight yo. But I have a good eye for this.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 12, 2015, 08:53:42 PM
You look like a regular dude breh, far from ugly. But you know what would take you from regular to being a boss? A beard or five o'clock shadow.
:whoo
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: meeb on October 12, 2015, 09:01:59 PM
You look like a regular dude breh, far from ugly. But you know what would take you from regular to being a boss? A beard or five o'clock shadow.
:whoo

My facial hair grows in uneven patches. A beard is beyond my grasp :(
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Yeti on October 12, 2015, 10:42:32 PM
I like him without facial hair, he looks like a young Egon.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: CatsCatsCats on October 12, 2015, 10:54:31 PM
Yeah, I could totally get laid looking like that. Just drink, talk, laugh, be loose in the right environment and things will escalate.
Title: Re: Autist in need of advice
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 12, 2015, 11:53:00 PM
You're not ugly at all. Clear face, jaw line...you're good breh. I don't know what gay dudes like but you're skinny which is a thing among many gay people right?