THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Am_I_Anonymous on October 12, 2015, 02:01:34 PM

Title: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on October 12, 2015, 02:01:34 PM
it's a serious problem.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 12, 2015, 02:08:07 PM
Well I hope you get over it.  I'd give you a hand but...
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: studyguy on October 12, 2015, 02:22:16 PM
What constitutes a good handy anyway?
I mean I've had girls do the job just fine, but... they could have done better.
 :larry

It's not a big deal to me really but I mean come on. Step it up.  :doge
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on October 12, 2015, 02:29:06 PM
Well there's two types the "caster" and the "twister"....I have found the former to work better with BJ's myself
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Kara on October 12, 2015, 02:33:13 PM
A hand job from a girl is just someone jerking you off with a lot less experience.

Yeah but you get to sit back and relax. :aah

Or enjoy a low level exhibitionist thrill getting them places. :aah
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Tasty on October 12, 2015, 02:44:18 PM
A hand job from a girl is just someone jerking you off with a lot less experience.

Gay HJs :rock
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: king of the internet on October 12, 2015, 02:46:25 PM
A hand job from a girl is just someone jerking you off with a lot less experience.

I've thought about this myself. I'm basically a master of pleasuring the male penis.  :ohhh
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Tasty on October 12, 2015, 02:49:43 PM
A hand job from a girl is just someone jerking you off with a lot less experience.

I've thought about this myself. I'm basically a master of pleasuring the male penis.  :ohhh

No wonder your coworker was into you.  :hitler
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Kara on October 12, 2015, 02:59:13 PM
A hand job from a girl is just someone jerking you off with a lot less experience.

I've thought about this myself. I'm basically a master of pleasuring the male penis.  :ohhh

No wonder your coworker was into you.  :hitler

A metapost in a metathread. :lawd
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Tasty on October 12, 2015, 03:15:06 PM
Kara gets me. :jawalrus
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 12, 2015, 03:16:12 PM
Coaching a chick into giving a perfect handjob is quite impressive. In many ways the experience gained can be applied to your professional and personal life. If you can get her to do it right there's no reason you can't earn a teaching degree at a two or four year institution, or masterfully guide a family member through a difficult computer question over the phone.

The true joy is the aesthetic juxtaposition of a pale hand gliding over your dark pole. I've never witnessed zebras grazing in the Serengeti but I'd imagine it looks a bit like getting a hj from a white girl.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: brawndolicious on October 12, 2015, 03:26:06 PM
Do you not trim your pubes or something? It's pretty necessary to avoid the girl pulling it all out unless she's really zealous with the greasing up.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Human Snorenado on October 12, 2015, 03:32:49 PM
Handies

 :goty2
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 12, 2015, 03:37:43 PM
The key is the pressure level. I need a firm grip and a slow stroke. I prefer that the strokes barely touch the head. Work the shaft with light brushes to the head and I'm good to go.

Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: studyguy on October 12, 2015, 03:46:03 PM
 :larry

I'd take my girl going down on me over a handjob any day tho tbh.
Like it's not even a contest.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 12, 2015, 04:16:19 PM
why not both at the same time
:lawd
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on October 12, 2015, 04:17:29 PM
Coaching a chick into giving a perfect handjob is quite impressive. In many ways the experience gained can be applied to your professional and personal life. If you can get her to do it right there's no reason you can't earn a teaching degree at a two or four year institution, or masterfully guide a family member through a difficult computer question over the phone.

The true joy is the aesthetic juxtaposition of a pale hand gliding over your dark pole. I've never witnessed zebras grazing in the Serengeti but I'd imagine it looks a bit like getting a hj from a white girl.

 :cac
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: demi on October 12, 2015, 04:34:24 PM
I'm self concious about giving myself hand jobs.

"I mean, this is good but can I do better? Is this really what I settled with?"
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Bebpo on October 12, 2015, 05:12:14 PM
Thread relevant & appeared in my facebook feed:

http://www.complex.com/music/2015/10/taylor-swift-reportedly-broke-up-with-calvin-harris-because-he-received-a-happy-ending?utm_campaign=complexmag&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&sr_share=facebook
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Trent Dole on October 12, 2015, 05:56:15 PM
Pay for a handy when you're dating Taylor Swift brehs.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: jakefromstatefarm on October 12, 2015, 05:58:38 PM
Willingly have sex with Taylor Swift brehs
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Trent Dole on October 12, 2015, 05:59:47 PM
:dead
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Kara on October 12, 2015, 06:00:06 PM
Willingly have sex with Taylor Swift brehs

I could reach peak #BrontëBoy and get a fungible pop song written about what a huge fucking asshole I am. :ufup
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: studyguy on October 12, 2015, 06:14:24 PM
I'm already fucking a white girl without any rhythm in her step.

I mean it's all the same to me, plus you walk away with a bonus song to let the world know you hit it and quit it.
 :yeshrug
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on October 12, 2015, 06:14:51 PM
Can't wait for the song. "Got a handy from a ladyboy. I don't need you! I don't need you!"
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Human Snorenado on October 12, 2015, 06:33:11 PM
I can't wait for Ryan Adams' cover of "I just got a handy from a ladyboy, I don't need you!"
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 12, 2015, 06:35:47 PM
I'm not even sure you are joking
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on October 12, 2015, 07:10:24 PM
Okay now that we have established the fact you all master level pecker touching enthusiasts, how much you charging?
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: studyguy on October 12, 2015, 07:12:14 PM
If you have to ask, you prob can't afford it
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on October 12, 2015, 07:13:37 PM
If you have to ask, you prob can't afford it

Try me breh. I got 6 dollar bills and two leftover volcanic tacos just over here chillin.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 12, 2015, 07:28:20 PM
I don't think 6 dollar bills are legal tender. 
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 12, 2015, 07:53:42 PM
A gentlemen doesn't negotiate donations.  :doge
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: ToxicAdam on October 12, 2015, 09:03:15 PM
Coaching a chick into giving a perfect handjob is quite impressive. In many ways the experience gained can be applied to your professional and personal life.


Ain't no one got time for that. You just close your eyes and imagine it's her mother doing it against her better judgement.



Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Brehvolution on October 13, 2015, 12:01:54 AM
If they are into it, who cares who's hand it is? :phil
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: CatsCatsCats on October 13, 2015, 09:37:14 AM
Sorry, unless it's like Beyoncé or something, hand jobs aren't worth my time -- after the extensive training I did pleasing my own dick in my jr high years, it's mouth, pussy or (no) bust.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on October 13, 2015, 10:37:38 AM
Same here. I'm just like "What is this? Am I 12? You're not coach Johnson."
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Kara on October 13, 2015, 11:27:16 AM
Sorry, unless it's like Beyoncé or something, hand jobs aren't worth my time -- after the extensive training I did pleasing my own dick in my jr high years, it's mouth, pussy or (no) bust.

So basically if you could suck your own dick you wouldn't want hummers either. :hitler
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: CatsCatsCats on October 13, 2015, 11:29:10 AM
:yeshrug hypothesis can't be tested


But it'd be truer to the logic I presented to say if I could easily suck my own dick, I probably wouldn't masturbate :lol
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Kara on October 13, 2015, 11:46:37 AM
You seem to have thought about this a lot.

I submit that Esch is not a real person but PD's alt.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Phoenix Dark on October 13, 2015, 01:14:33 PM
I would hope that you'd show yourself the same level of respect and cleanliness that you'd show a girl before she goes down on you. IE cleaning up beforehand. If I were to suck my own dick I'd have the decency to take a shower first.

Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Tasty on October 13, 2015, 01:23:36 PM
I would hope that you'd show yourself the same level of respect and cleanliness that you'd show a girl before she goes down on you. IE cleaning up beforehand. If I were to suck my own dick I'd have the decency to take a shower first.

Some people like things a little dirty. :shh
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: CatsCatsCats on October 13, 2015, 01:27:22 PM
Hormone build up :drool
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: T234 on October 13, 2015, 01:30:14 PM
Coaching a chick into giving a perfect handjob is quite impressive. In many ways the experience gained can be applied to your professional and personal life. If you can get her to do it right there's no reason you can't earn a teaching degree at a two or four year institution, or masterfully guide a family member through a difficult computer question over the phone.

The true joy is the aesthetic juxtaposition of a pale hand gliding over your dark pole. I've never witnessed zebras grazing in the Serengeti but I'd imagine it looks a bit like getting a hj from a white girl.

Nah, Zebras grazing in the Serengeti looks like me getting a hj from a black girl.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Kara on October 13, 2015, 04:20:11 PM
You seem to have thought about this a lot.

I submit that Esch is not a real person but PD's alt.

I had a friend in high school that accused our entire group of all being gay for masturbating (he was a  christian). The natural followup to denial of this is of course, "if you give yourself handjobs, why wouldn't you suck your dick".

Some debates are older than time itself.

Yeah, talking about being friends with people who had imaginary friends isn't really shoring up your case.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: CatsCatsCats on October 13, 2015, 05:18:37 PM
More bitterness there than a thousand grapefruit spoons
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: brawndolicious on October 13, 2015, 07:26:28 PM
I think he's saying Esch is PDs imaginary friend due to Jesus being the anti-fap boys imaginary friend. I'm not totally sure but I think there's a joke in there somewhere.

Also I just realized you two would probably make a good baby genetics wise.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: recursivelyenumerable on October 13, 2015, 10:10:00 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGUFfa2iDHg
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on October 13, 2015, 10:49:27 PM
I never come from handjobs, blowjobs, or if I'm wearing a condom.  With BJs, most girls assume this is some type of challenge.  While I appreciate the effort, it ain't gonna happen.  I'm not going to stop any woman from trying though but I usually get a frustrated dirty look about half hour in.

Also women freak out if they catch you faking it.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: chronovore on October 15, 2015, 11:00:53 AM
I can't wait for Ryan Adams' cover of "I just got a handy from a ladyboy, I don't need you!"

Pretty sure I'd rather deal with an original by Taylor Swift.
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Trent Dole on October 15, 2015, 02:24:28 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwZVZ5qZnoA
This guy just screams uber douche to me. Nice retro sexism in this video too. :trash :itagaki
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: Oblivion on October 15, 2015, 09:38:38 PM
Parts of my hair right above the forehead area have started to recede/disappear, giving me this Vegeta-like look. My hair is really long so I'm able to hide it, but discovering it is really fucking depressing.  :-\
Title: Re: I know some bald dudes that are self conscious about hand jobs.
Post by: studyguy on October 16, 2015, 11:46:24 AM
Parts of my hair right above the forehead area have started to recede/disappear, giving me this Vegeta-like look. My hair is really long so I'm able to hide it, but discovering it is really fucking depressing.  :-\

Yeah but what's your opinion on handies breh?