THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: I'm a Puppy! on September 26, 2016, 02:49:46 PM

Title: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on September 26, 2016, 02:49:46 PM
I've posted this one before:

- I helped a friend with a session about women in tech. Afterwards we were leaving with the group and one of the women was talking to a friend and said, "So I told her when presenting she should have the self-confidence of a mediocre white man!" and they all laughed. Well a white guy was nearby and said, "If you really wanted her to succeed you should have told her to have the self-confidence of an overweight black woman."

Oh man. thank god it was a tech conference otherwise there would have likely been violence.

- Last week. Dinner with a few executives. Tech CEO to my left Pharma CFO to my right. Drunk CEO starts giving the CFO a hard time about how all the pharma guys are going to get wrangled up and thrown into jail if they can't solve their image problem (epi-pen that Martin guy). CFO retorted that the CEO's company gouged their customers far worse than he did. The tech CEO said, "yes, but I don't make a product people need so I can gouge as much as I want. You guys think the opposite is true that's why you're in trouble. You're stupid." :success (dude wasn't wrong)

- To follow up this exchange which set off a bunch of discussion the Pharma CFO said, "Yes, but our profit margin is actually rather low."
The whole table then burst into  :woody  (everyone knows that if you're gouging people margin is the one metric you have most control over, you can make it whatever you want). CFO dude was pissed.

- Adultery. So much adultery
- Naked guy drunk in the hotel hot tub who was in senior leadership at a huge company. They rented out the whole pool for the next two hours before anyone else could get in.
- gold club in SF so packed
-Diversity consultants is now a thing apparently. Got cornered by more than one selling their services to help us diversify our workforce. I guess it can make sense but one of them when I asked for their webpage said, "Oh here's our blog and our twitter." When I said I couldn't send a blog or a twitter feed to my CEO, he'd just laugh at me they looked confused and said, "We have a lot of followers though." :neogaf
- IT is hated by everyone. EVERYONE.
- talked to the hotel manager. Said there was evidence of cocaine use everywhere (not surprised).
- Why do people bother with cards anymore?
- Don't know why people bother with booths anymore. 80% of the people coming just want the freebies. 18%  of the rest are you competitors trying to see what you're doing. 2% might actually be interested. Spending that money on a clever campaign seems to have a much better ROI
- Booth babes aren't going anywhere, they're just better dressed.
- Saw a presenter start their presentation. Freeze up and run away in the first 3 minutes. They didn't come back.
- Another presenter's laptop hung for a bit and forgetting his mic was still on he uttered "Well, fuck."
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: demi on September 26, 2016, 03:19:23 PM
Husky IT bois :aah
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: Phoenix Dark on September 26, 2016, 03:21:31 PM
Diversity consultants lol

One time I ran into a couple guys who were doing some type of diversity training/consulting scheme, they acted like they knew me and were telling me all about their views on how to attract more minorities into specific fields. So I was just saying well I think it's a good idea for companies to have some type of local presence at high schools and even community colleges to help introduce kids to IDEAS and possibilities they've never thought of. Mentioned that a lot of young black people I've talked to mention they haven't considered accounting/business because "math" and how I often try to tell people "math" is not a barrier for accounting (well, not complicated math). The two guys I was talked to looked at each other and one said "accounting...oh, you're not in IT? I thought..." Then the other guy said "I'm sorry, we must have confused you for such and such. Our current program currently aims at introducing urban students to computer related fields blah blah blah."

Turns out there was some black IT guy at the event, and they just assumed I was him because we were the only young black guys there.  :lol
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: VomKriege on September 26, 2016, 03:27:15 PM
Well, fuck.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Being a blue collar stiff has its perks, I guess.
[close]
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: thisismyusername on September 26, 2016, 04:46:43 PM
Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on September 26, 2016, 02:49:46 PM
- IT is hated by everyone. EVERYONE.

Yeah? Well, we're the ones that actually see your e-mails, CFO/CEO/everyone. :doge


Quote
- Why do people bother with cards anymore?

:kermiT True enough.
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on September 26, 2016, 06:01:14 PM
Tech conferences lol. The only people that actual attend them are marketing departments for every company. The rest of us just go down and make shit happen in every bar and restaurant in Orlando.
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: chronovore on September 26, 2016, 10:54:25 PM
Quote from: Am_I_Anonymous on September 26, 2016, 06:01:14 PM
Tech conferences lol. The only people that actual attend them are marketing departments for every company. The rest of us just go down and make shit happen in every bar and restaurant in Orlando.

Probably true in any sector.
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on September 27, 2016, 04:51:13 AM
Quote from: Phoenix Dark on September 26, 2016, 03:21:31 PM
Diversity consultants lol

Think I found my next job
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: Raist on September 27, 2016, 05:49:23 AM
Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on September 26, 2016, 02:49:46 PM

- Another presenter's laptop hung for a bit and forgetting his mic was still on he uttered "Well, fuck."

Same happened to me. Video feed started looking like 1970's TV quality and I let a "oh for fuck's sake" slip.
Thankfully it was an internal seminar talk >.>
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: Mupepe on September 27, 2016, 08:20:49 AM
Conferences are the best.  Especially when you speak.  Free flights, hotel and perks.  Basically a free vacation.  I just hate having to come up with stuff to present.  I always put it off to the last minute but it's worth it to see people get shitfaced on the free booze and make asses of themselves. 
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on September 27, 2016, 06:52:53 PM
Nah. I'd rather have the shits for a week than attend any conference. It's truly an old habit that needs to die, like suits at work and necessitating consultants to fix shit you already know is wrong.

If I want to go to Cisco I just call Cisco and they fly me out. :yeshrug

PS: The only use for consultants are short term projects so I don't have to pay medical for some shittard I can cut after he performs his duty.

Especially tech consultants. I read the same magazines they do. I know the companies they try to shill better than they do. Why should I pay them for that? If I want to streamline my network I'll make Cisco do it for me. They always do.

Anyway ignore me I'm just babbling now.
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on September 27, 2016, 08:56:53 PM
I've attended a lot of oil and gas conferences.  National conferences tend to be low key where it's a bunch of grizzled roughnecks and engineers with a cell phone holster hung on their pants.  International conferences tend to be insane because you got a bunch of Russians and Arabs roaming around.  The booths tend to be much different as well.  I met a guy my age who was a consultant for $1000 an hour and still has to turn down work because he has a full plate.  After talking to him, he is fluent in Russian, Arabic, and French.  Almost made me want to open up Duolingo and get started :doge  Also lots of "international 10" booth babes and girls just wandering around in general.  Wouldn't be surprised if they were hookers flown in and were just killing time until the day was over.
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on September 27, 2016, 09:02:56 PM
Internationally? Yup they are hookers.
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: Brehvolution on September 27, 2016, 10:32:28 PM
Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on September 26, 2016, 02:49:46 PM
- IT is hated by everyone. EVERYONE.

Not surprising considering many of the big business types you deal with cheap out and got third party for your IT support. They knee capped themselves to save a few bucks and reap the reward of shitty service. Fuck em. Call India, bitches. :neogaf
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on September 27, 2016, 10:37:33 PM
You're not wrong. Doesn't change the fact IT, even great IT, is a cost center.  :hitler
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: Brehvolution on September 27, 2016, 10:54:03 PM
In the old days, it's called "cost of doing business".
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: Am_I_Anonymous on September 27, 2016, 10:59:47 PM
I can't wait for them to perfect passive optical networks so we can eliminate like half the switchgear on the planet. :lawd
Title: Re: Puppy's tech conferences adventures 2016
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on September 27, 2016, 11:28:43 PM
Quote from: Brehvolution on September 27, 2016, 10:54:03 PM
In the old days, it's called "cost of doing business".
Again, not wrong. But most IT people don't help their case in their attitude.

Oh something else that was great this conference

a sales colleague of mine went to an executive at a client he was trying to sell at and the executive was like "I'm fucking frustrated! I can't accomplish anything because of the bureaucracy here! I was wondering if you could help me get a job with your company?"

My friend in sales said, "Actually, I was going to say that if I don't close this deal could I come work for your company?"
Then they were both instantly :goty