THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: I'm a Puppy! on March 22, 2017, 11:41:46 PM
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So I have this dude who works for me. And I've worked with a ton of people, but this guy...he's noteworthy. He's a guy in his late 50s, really tall and burly, an expert in his field, a former Army Ranger sniper. Who:
- Was once a CIO of a company that folded and now is a private consultant
- Is a Trump supporter and likes to bolster about it, but you call him out on anything and he'll shut right up because he knows he can't back it up
- Had his bike trashed by the Hell's angels (this was on the news no less) because they mistook him for someone who turned state's witness
- Boasts that he has killed someone of every race
- Is racist, but not like your typical Trump racist (I've actually never heard him say a thing about black people) but like an Andrew Dice Clay kind of racism where it's like 90% of his humor is based on racist jokes
- Spent $2k to go to a dinner with Dick Cheney. He hated the guy but he loves his republicans.
- One of his few friends had his wife leave him and the guy hired a dating coach who, after he saw this guy in action, said, "You know, you just need to be someone else completely. Make up a new name for yourself and pretend to be that guy." So he chose the name "Ace" with an equally Macho/silly last name (I should mention, that Ace is very short and very Chinese)
- "Ace" takes 250k and then borrows another 150k and buys a strip club. "Ace" solicits all the women for BJs for money and spends his time either in the women's dressing room (cause he was convinced they were doing drugs in there) or yelling at the customers for showing up in dirty clothes and not buying enough drinks. The strip club goes under in 90 days. 90 DAYS! I think you could go on the street and pick people at random and most of them would be able to keep it running longer than 90 days with $400k.
- Chuck and Ace go to strip clubs all the time. But "Ace" is insanely cheap. Once Ace handed a stripper $10 and said, "Take good care of my friend over there."
- Chuck likes to go around saying "I don't have PTSD, I GIVE people PTSD!" but once when we were chatting alone he started talking about how all his friends committed suicide last year, and this massive guy started getting tears in his eyes :(
- Chuck will tell anyone who wants to listen (and many who don't) about his kills in the Army in rather gory detail
- Chuck, like a true Trump supporter, has been divorced 3 times and is estranged from practically all of his kids (the only one that talks to him is his youngest that's in college, and they only talk because he's studying Chuck's field and he wants help).
- Chuck's health is poor and he's had 3 near death incidents in the last year. He knows he's likely going to die soon and he also knows he'll likely die alone. His kids hate him, most of his friends abandoned him, there's really no one out there for him.
- Chuck, for some reason, is just drowning in older lady pussy. The dude is hooking up with some random chick every week. I don't know how he does it, but he does, and he'll come in on Monday and tell you all about fucking a hot cuban mom up the ass before her kids got home. He also isn't shy about sharing pics (that's a new one for me personally)
- But for all this, Chuck has no idea what love is. He's got an offer for a good job in Austin, I advised him to take it, but he was like "But Puppy, what if I'm in love?" And I laughed and laughed and laughed, I said, "Chuck, you're not in love." He was genuinely hurt, but the next week he broke up with the woman he was with and I was like "See dude? You're too shallow for love. I've stepped in deeper puddles." Even he had to admit it.
- On top of all the women he's somehow able to land, he also knows a whole bunch of Russian prostitutes in town and what hotels they work and visits them often.
- Chuck is convinced he's a "swinger" (dude's single, wtf?) and will refuse to keep a relationship with a woman (even friends with benefits) if the woman won't do FFM threesomes. Then he's surprised that these women leave.
- He's a raging homophobe, but one of those that "protest too much" it's obvious the dude has something going on there.
- Professional at work (unless you get him alone and he trusts you), but most likely a raging alcoholic on the weekend.
- Loves talking about goats. He doesn't keep goats or anything. But in a span of a week you'll have at least one conversation with him about goats.
Dude is a like a circus on a slow motion trainwreck. I love it! Dude's life is falling apart. I figured I better write it down while I can.
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Chuck season, huh?
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I figured I better write it down while I can.
Puppy came to the office early Monday morning. But Chuck was already there, sitting in the dark.
"You've betrayed me for the last time, Puppy..."
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Ask him what his Gaf nick is
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Ask him what his Gaf nick is
I don't know, puppy says this guy gets laid. I don't think this guy is a gaffer.
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I was going to say 'hey look it's Methodis!' then I read CIO.
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Ask him what his Gaf nick is
I don't know, puppy says this guy gets laid. I don't think this guy is a gaffer.
Anyone can get laid, it's just a matter how of big their gun collection is. :doge
</tasteless joke>
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racist :doge
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Yooooooooooo. :maf
Chuck just sounds like the kinda guy you'd see on the news getting life time in prison.
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interdesting 🤔
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(http://i.imgur.com/lf3n0eO.gif)
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Sure thing, Ace.
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Sounds like Chuck needs to take some shrooms and chill the fuck out. :doge
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"You know, you just need to be someone else completely. Make up a new name for yourself and pretend to be that guy."
Puppy....you're Chuck aren't you? We're here for you, man. You don't have to pretend anymore. :-\
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Ask him what his Gaf nick is
To be fair, the only think that "Chuck" has in common with Gafers is that he'll die alone.
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"You know, you just need to be someone else completely. Make up a new name for yourself and pretend to be that guy."
Puppy....you're Chuck aren't you? We're here for you, man. You don't have to pretend anymore. :-\
What happens when you've pretended for so long that you don't know what you're pretending and what you really are anymore? :tocry
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Tall, burly, and isnt shy about showing his dick?
PM?
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Chuck update today. I'm in my office and call him on speaker to ask him a question that a coworker asked me. Coworker was in my office at the time.
First he picks up the phone and says, "El Chapo! How are you doing?!"
(For some reason that's the nickname he's given me)
I ask him the question and he gives the answer question and I start saying, "thanks man, I'll talk to you later."
But before I can Chuck shouts out "Chapo, you should've seen the hot Armenian nurse at the doctor's today, she.."
I quickly took him off speaker.
I should have known better. :goty
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Armenian women :whew
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I watch the Armenian fundraiser telethon on Thanksgiving every year because I am deeply concerned about ethnic minorities in Azerbaijan and genocide denial by the Turkish state.
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My name is Chuck, and I'm here to fuck
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Ask him what his Gaf nick is
Dude has wayyyyy to many interesting (even if shallow) things going on to be a GAFfer.
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"Andrew Dice Clay racist." is an extremely illustrative and evocative phrase that I'll be stealing for future use.