THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Himu on September 18, 2018, 03:09:45 PM
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To anyone I may have hurt, offended, or upset in the past year or two, I ask for your forgiveness.
I forgive anyone who may have intentionally or unintentionally done the same to me.
Let’s :tauntaun
How do you deal with healing from trauma? My therapist suggested a lot of good tips to be more positive and learn to love myself. How do you heal without using coping mechanisms like booze or vidya?
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Communication, expression of feelings, weeeeeeed
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My two favorite old bore posters hate me, one directly (Shidoshi) due to a misunderstanding that's not worth scratching at, and one indirectly (Oscar) cause he hates us all. I think you're both great though.
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I forgive u
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Suggestions on how to heal from stuff like going down a big rabbit hole you should have never went down? Or maybe not being so reactionary and emotional and opinionated? Questions for the therapist to be sure.
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I forgive u
(https://i.imgur.com/auBXIcq.gif)
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I forgive u
Thanks. Catholicism has turned my brains into Play-Doh.
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Hey, at least playdoh is nontoxic
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still havent sent any of the games you offered 5 years ago, traumatized
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Hey, at least playdoh is nontoxic
Really? I remember it tasting salty.
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i forgive demi for being a brutal anti mobile theme, plain old http tyrant
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I dont think you can eat play doh
Hope we can live in peace :-*
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I dont think you can eat play doh
Hope we can live in peace :-*
How can we live in peace when the football season has started?
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Which football
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Which football
EPL, I'm kinda salty that I cant troll Liverpool fans yet
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Watched a Man U game the other day and was so salty. They got like two goals in five minutes. Fuck Man U and their crappy Chevy kits!
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(https://78.media.tumblr.com/40a64ae919fe3841c001021a98debb89/tumblr_olh7gr3TiR1sc0ffqo3_540.gif)
(https://78.media.tumblr.com/082b648dc8b3c6997184a8fb1b2e6329/tumblr_olh7gr3TiR1sc0ffqo1_540.gif)
(https://78.media.tumblr.com/7a80712490b74c5048a95892e00be1f3/tumblr_olh7gr3TiR1sc0ffqo4_540.gif)
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Who has Cindi offended on the bore?
(http://i.imgur.com/h2aGo.gif)
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Who has Cindi offended on the bore?
(http://i.imgur.com/h2aGo.gif)
(https://i.imgur.com/Hp0ayhS.gif)
GOMEN NISAI
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I'll never heal from the trauma of Bert and Ernie being revealed to be puppets who don't have sexual identities :stahp
(https://media2.giphy.com/media/4s9kqeTqrAGdy/giphy.gif)
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I WILL NEVER FORGET WHEN I REALIZED WRESTLING WAS FAKe :stahp
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Toad, Bert and Ernie
Today was something :doge
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I WILL NEVER FORGET WHEN I REALIZED WRESTLING WAS FAKe :stahp
omg the world got so much less cool.
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I didn't know you were Jewish, Cindi.
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I didn't know you were Jewish, Cindi.
She's got the guilt complex for it, that's for sure.
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I heal my traumas by shooting at them with my stockpile of semi-autos.
Xenu bless.
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I didn't know you were Jewish, Cindi.
I'm not. But I like the idea of Yom Kippur. I could never be a Jew because I'm black even though I felt more of a connection to it (and by extension, the Jewish people) than Christianity. :idont
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Nope
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why do you want me to convert
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I could never be a Jew because I'm black
:huh
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Christianity has made me go insane and I think I rushed it into it when I came to believe in God again so :idont
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yea no kidding
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Religious peples :badass
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yea no kidding
you're saying that because I didn't become a jew
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That's the least of the reasons I think you're crazy. And I say it with as much love as possible. ;)
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Yet. You didn't become a Jew yet. Let's wait until the weekend.
No.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvSOgB-JPy0
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So basically, I prayed to God a lot and asked for guidance on what the right church for me was. I felt a pull (brain washing) to Catholicism despite the lgbt stances. "Joe Biden and Stephen Colbert are Catholic which means I can be liberal still and Catholic. I just need to fight for what I believe in."
No.
(https://i.imgur.com/xYonZGE.gif)
I kind of believed them when they said "hate the sin, love the sinner." I wouldn't have before, but I had taken a liking to the church itself. So they asked me of life long celibacy. And some people told me to detransition. I fought that for a while but then the more I started hanging around Catholics the more right wing I started to get. And the more right wing I started to get the more I started to see same sex matters as sinful which lead to self hate. I was going to detransition at one point. I wanted to leave but I couldn't because of the brain washing. It took a while but a few events snapped me out of it.
I'm still trying to deprogram from the whole experience. I haven't been to a church in months and the whole Pennsylvania scandal made me feel correct in my choice to leave the church.
My friends have been begging me to go to the Episcopal Church since it's Catholic light, lgbt accepting, open interpretations, and I've visited a nice Episcopal church and everything. But I'm at a point now where I just want to go to therapy rather than take communion.
(https://i.imgur.com/ZvBQYbC.gif)
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But I'm at a point now where I just want to go to therapy rather than take communion.
Makes sense to me. I never "got" religion and have always thought of it as bullshit. But I know it can be beneficial for some and that's fine. I was happy as hell to never have to go to a synagogue again after I got old enough.
:rejoice
Fun facts: The rabbi at the first synagogue we belonged to when I was a kid went batshit crazy, pulled out a gun, and tried to shoot his wife, but missed and shot up their washing machine instead. Later on when we moved, the rabbi at this other synagogue, who bar mitvah'd me (and kissed my forehead during that whole thing) was discovered to be a fucking pedophile and had child porn all over his computer. I don't think he actually did any real time for it and ended up at another synagogue somewhere. :dizzy
Speaking of bar mitvahs, another fun side note here is that I was the first kid who they thought was going to "fail" the training for it, because when I was supposed to be practicing that shit I would go into my room and play Super Mario Kart instead. :lol Hated that shit so much. It drove me nuts when that was over and my parents still expected me to drop everything and go for the high holy holidays. At this point the only thing I do related to it is go to family dinners for certain holidays.
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Abrahamic religions :nope
New-age hippie religions :ohyeah
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But I'm at a point now where I just want to go to therapy rather than take communion.
Makes sense to me. I never "got" religion and have always thought of it as bullshit. But I know it can be beneficial for some and that's fine. I was happy as hell to never have to go to a synagogue again after I got old enough.
:rejoice
I don't think of it as bullshit. I still fast for religious observance even when I don't do anything religious right now. I very much believe in a God.
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Abrahamic religions :nope
New-age hippie religions :ohyeah
No religions
:lawd
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But I'm at a point now where I just want to go to therapy rather than take communion.
Makes sense to me. I never "got" religion and have always thought of it as bullshit. But I know it can be beneficial for some and that's fine. I was happy as hell to never have to go to a synagogue again after I got old enough.
:rejoice
I don't think of it as bullshit. I still fast for religious observance even when I don't do anything religious right now. I very much believe in a God.
I think I'd consider myself to be agnostic in that regard. But I'm not talking about what you believe in...I'm just referring to having to go to place of worship and sit through all that shit. :lol Hated services so much. Especially as a kid when I was forced to go to Hebrew school...after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays and again on Sundays. Sucked. :yuck
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r-e2NDSTuE
:ohyeah
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Feeling the need to "believe" in anything :nope
Accepting that life is inherently meaningless :ohyeah
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I feel like now I no longer am binded to the shackles of religion, I can vote Democrat again. So there's that at least. Are there any good books or therapy ideas for people healing from massive cognitive dissonance or traumatic religious experiences?
I like religious services and find them very beautiful. I really like liturgical services. I hated church as a kid but find it beautiful that I can have a place away from the struggles of modern life and find a place I can go to when I'm feeling down and be part of or try to understand something transcend. But the dogma and rules that come with it can be horse shit.
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You clearly joined an actual cult, Cindi
Eye mean, given your history with me I don't know if you're joking or not but I have come to the conclusion that Catholicism is a cult, yes. It's why no one is leaving the Church after the scandal despite over 1000's of priests being involved. Catholicism has a very particular way of brain washing.
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What you described is not normal behavior at a church, even a hardcore Catholic one
It isn't *just* the church. It's also the online community. When you want to learn more about Catholicism, you'll naturally want to seek out Catholics for answers to questions or whatever. That's where the online Catholic community comes in and they're universally toxic. And they have a manner of "grooming" people, especially lgbt people.
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I feel like now I no longer am binded to the shackles of religion, I can vote Democrat again.
:confused
So there's that at least. Are there any good books or therapy ideas for people healing from massive cognitive dissonance or traumatic religious experiences?
No idea and couldn't say anything on the matter, apart from going to therapy sounds like a really good idea.
I like religious services and find them very beautiful. I really like liturgical services. I hated church as a kid but find it beautiful that I can have a place away from the struggles of modern life and find a place I can go to when I'm feeling down and be part of or try to understand something transcend. But the dogma and rules that come with it can be horse shit.
It's funny...when I think of what you just wrote...I think of going online (gotta avoid the religion and political stuff though, that's part of 'real life') and playing video games and stuff. Or just being at home, relaxing, and not doing shit. I actually feel pretty positive lately. I just kind of roll with whatever comes my way keep up the positive vibes.
Did have something big dropped on me recently though. Not sure if this is the thread to talk about it or not in.
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I feel like now I no longer am binded to the shackles of religion, I can vote Democrat again.
:confused
"You can't be Catholic if you are pro-choice."
"Please confess if you voted yes on for voting for legalizing abortion."
https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/politics/catholics-who-voted-yes-must-repent-to-be-worthy-of-communion-bishop-36970575.html
;etc.
Essentially they push for voting in a specific manner or guilt you as a sinner not worthy of the Eucharist (the most holy rite and sacrament). Again, brain washing.
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Then there's this.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/nancy-pelosi-crosses-vatican-official-abortion-rights-article-1.1466255
That.
https://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/michael-w-chapman/2-catholic-bishops-biden-not-allowed-speak-catholic-schools-must-not
And this is just one single issue.
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I coulda sworn you were pro-life..
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i was pro-choice my entire life until I became Catholic.
Catholicism has adult classes called RCIA. You must go to these classes for "catechesis". It's a year long and it tells you what the church believes. One night one of the teaches barges in and tells us we cannot become catholic unless we are pro-life. Then she goes on a rant about this argument she had on facebook with some lady friend of hers. She then passed out papers comparing abortion to slavery and stuff. From then on there was pressure to conform to a specific thinking. I went in pro-choice and argued with her but tried as I might the more I was more around them the more I started to become more pro-life. This was also around the time Ireland passed the abortion law and being that it was once a Catholic stronghold country it was seen as a loss by Catholics and so they doubled down on ideological piety and issued out ultimatums that you can't be a catholic unless you were pro-life. This was around confirmation too.
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You know you can just....go to church, right? You don't have to take classes.
(https://i.imgur.com/WozTa1B.gif)
Mmmmm...No.
In Catholicism going to RCIA is a requirement for catechesis. You must enroll and you must be confirmed either through baptism, renewal of vows, or in my case since I was a candidate (someone who already had a legitimate baptism) say an oath to the Catholic church.
Taking the eucharist, participating in confession, without having been confirmed as a Catholic are considered grave sins. It's precisely why Catholics do not let protestants partake of the Eucharist.
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You know you can just....go to church, right? You don't have to take classes.
sounds like some Scientology shit
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Have you ever considered not joining the most hardcore of whatever thing it is you're into at the time
#thatssohimuro
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Have you ever considered not joining the most hardcore of whatever thing it is you're into at the time
I don't think this is fair.
I studied Christianity and came to the conclusion that Catholicism, along with Orthodox, is the "original" Christianity. A lot of converts are being converted to Catholicism for that very reason right now as we chat. I considered the Episcopal Church and other lgbt friendly churches, but never felt about the same way I did with Catholicism. I also found Catholicism beautiful. Despite its issues I was truly in love. The architecture, the mass. I wanted it to be my church. It just didn't want me.
Further, like I said, brain washing. The church knows that many people who become Catholic now are attracted to authenticity, so they play that up. "We are the true Church." And it's hard to disagree when you read the Bible and how much a lot of the NT points to Catholicism. So they know that if you're going to pursue the church more than likely that's going to be a factor. Well, this is how they get the grips. "What we have is the true communion, the other churches don't have the real thing. We are the real thing. You read about it. Therefore, only ours and the Orthodox's communion is real. Our sacraments are Jesus' gift." This is why it's a big deal when they say they will deny the Eucharist to a Catholic. It's how they use it to control their flock. They first get into your head the idea that they have the best form of Christianity and that their communion is the only legitimate form. So when they deny it they want you to obey. Either deny yourself and receive Christ or you will be denied. So when trouble brews and LGBT people can't take anymore, or people find the Church offensive and unholy because of the sex scandals they might stick around because of the sacraments because this is the "true church" and the church has convinced them that their communion is the only legitimate communion.
Essentially, the church teaches that it is the best means to be holy and that any other option is less holy and that people will go to hell if they aren’t catholic and take the Eucharist. Eventually, the mind conditioning gets its grip on you, anti-lgbt or not.
So I find your response extremely dismissive and asshole-ish even if I find it understandable.
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You can read this if you want more.
https://www.sbradfordlong.com/the-church-is-a-whore-and-i-am-her-gay-son/
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I'm not being dismissive or an asshole about this, it's pretty clear you joined about the most extreme Catholic church possible that sure sounds like a full on cult.
I've known a lot of Catholics, even extremely devout ones, I've dated Catholic girls, my mom and aunt's best friends since childhood are legit ass Catholics, and they would say the same thing. That you keep using the term "brain washing" says it all, and I'm sure it was a traumatic experience that fucked with your worldview, but that's also not a normal church you joined.
Like I told you before, this is the Catholic Church. But what I'm explaining to you is church dogma. What I joined was the normal Catholic Church.
This also depends on where you live. If you're in NYC or Cali, it's your churches that are exceptional. Not the ones I visited.
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Listen, I just want it to be on record that the allegations that EVILORE RAPED AND MURDERED A WOMAN IN THE SHOWER IN 2017 are false.
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https://medium.com/reaching-out/gay-and-catholic-30f7755a4726
Another wonderful piece.
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I quit Catholicism about halfway through confirmation classes when I was ~12 or 13. It was a long time coming and it pissed my Mom off and she never really treated me the same for decades.
Really not a fan of "the church"; my Mom gave every Sunday to the choir her entire adult life along with 15% of her income and all kinds of other time and efforts.
Since she wanted to get cremated they refused to let her have a full Catholic funeral; they wanted us to wait for cremation, parade her body all around town, and then have her cremated. Was not what she wanted at all, she kind of assumed her long time priest would forgo tradition and let her just have a normal funeral, but nope.. because we refused to have her body paraded around town they had some lower level person do a funeral and it couldn't happen inside a Catholic church.
Lovely people.
Sounds like Catholicism. Tell me about your venture through RCIA.
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Yikes
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I'm really glad I had a pretty great Church life as a kid all things considered, and wouldn't wish ill on anyone from there (and in fact, I'm still decent friends with a few, albeit closeted.) It's a shame we're pretty much diametrically opposed these days ideologically, but I understand why they believe what they believe.
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Forgot this one. It's a doozie. Stephen writes in reply to a member of Courage, the official Catholic org for LGBT people. Courage is pro-conversion therapy as I recall.
https://www.sbradfordlong.com/christians-gay-celibacy-and-miscommunication/
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You know you can just....go to church, right? You don't have to take classes.
This kind of thing is what started the French Religion Wars.
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You know you can just....go to church, right? You don't have to take classes.
This kind of thing is what started the French Religion Wars.
Jacques II died for our sins
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(https://i.imgur.com/wj7zJz5.png)
:thinking
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Buddhism is kinda cool, try that
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Ah Cindi, I’m so sorry they got to you like that. Real love and acceptance don’t come with the kind of guilt some churches try to control you with. Sending love ❤️
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(https://i.imgur.com/wj7zJz5.png)
:thinking
What about it?
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Buddhism is kinda cool, try that
If there were a burning house with people inside of it and a Buddhist could have the opportunity to meditate instead of helping them, he would.
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Based on what I'm learning from others here, real zen would be setting that house on fire.
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https://youtu.be/Zlyvcti3kQU
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Suggestions on how to heal from stuff like going down a big rabbit hole you should have never went down? Or maybe not being so reactionary and emotional and opinionated? Questions for the therapist to be sure.
if you can rocognize the pattern, you can then better understand the pattern. next step is changing the pattern or creating a new pattern that better suits you.
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Have a meeting with a Lutheran priest on Wednesday for lunch. I admit being away from religion the past two months has been freeing. I very much believe in God but attributing any of it myself or any set of behaviors is freeing. The Catholic guilt is slowly subsiding. I think Ronito may have been right when he said a while ago that you don’t need religion and I should just take the training wheels off they’ve helped with and just be free.
For instance, I don’t need religion anymore to value fasting for God because it has taught me that. But I might not need it any longer.
Quotes from a PM exchange Puppy and I had. If he doesn’t want them posted I’ll delete them as requested:
In the Mormon church the only thing worse than murder is not believing in the church. A murder will still go to a type of heaven, but someone who left the church and tells people why, they don't go to any heaven. they're the only ones who go to hell. So imagine the reaction I got from my friends when I, whom many people saw as the religious scholar, the guy who knew everything about he religion, came out and said, "Yeah, it's not true." People thought I had no moral strength or lacked conviction and honesty. Others thought I was lead astray by a desire to sin. One person literally asked "So, how long have you been addicted to porn?" And others were convinced I wanted to become an immoral person, Someone asked what there was to keep me from raping and murdering. Others thought I must not love my family. To them they had equated their morality and love to the church. But none of those things were true. I don't love my wife and kids any less. And if religion was the only thing keeping me from raping and murdering, well then I was never a good person, I was just a bad person pretending to be a good one. My wife's sister even said that if it wasn't true, she wouldn't want to know, yet she is a person that often sings about the virtues of truth.
At the same time a few of the people that I knew that were Atheist were like "Good, you're getting rid of the weakness of religion. Now leave it all behind." And when I would say that I wasn't tossing out spirituality they were like "Fine what other church are you going to go to?" And when I said that I didn't really believe that other religions were much better. They couldn't grasp what I was saying and they thought I was still weak for holding on to a sense of spirituality. On the other hand my mormon friends and family thought I was immoral because I left. So I got to see both sides of the perspective. There was nothing I could tell my mormon friends to convince them that I wasn't a vile sinner for leaving, in fact, their belief in a way demanded that they view me as a sinner, how else could someone that knows everything about the religion leave? Likewise, there was nothing I could tell my atheist friends that would make them believe I wasn't weak for having some sprituality. And honestly, there are plenty of religious people that do indeed hold up to their accusations of weakness and greed. They're both sitting in very different places, both having very different views, and most people lack the ability, or the will, to put themselves in the other person's place.
Also, to show how much I value my religion. I normally wouldn't talk about this. It's something I keep to myself and it's between and God. I'd like to tell you this story if only you'll keep it to yourself.
I get tips at work. I've been low on money recently and my card has been declined. I can't eat today. There's a mother whose baby was born with a heart defect and will need to go through heart surgery at work. They're using it for a raffle for 500 dollars in Best Buy credit. You donate, you get a ticket. Instead of using my tips for myself even though I lack money for food, I've been giving the money to the mother. So far I've given about 50 dollars. I've declined not taking a single ticket because the baby having a chance at life is important. Today, I had ten dollars in tip and could have split it up and give five for the mother and five for me but the baby needs it more and I've decided to sacrifice eating in order to give the baby a chance. You could say that I'm doing this for a ticket into heaven, but I'm not - heaven is the last thing on my mind. You could say that it's about guilt, but it isn't. I'm doing it because it's right. Even before I became religious again I valued giving. I believe in that. I trust in God to provide me with nourishment, even though I am hungry. Without religion, how could I hope to make this sacrifice? This is how much I value it and how serious I am about it.
I only tell you this in the hope that you may understand.
I do and I don't understand. I understand why you feel that your religion has had input into you making such an extraordinary sacrifice. However, I firmly believe in you. I believe that had you learned to listen to yourself you would make such a sacrifice. That sacrifice was born from you, you needed to be taught to still your mind and listen to your inner self. Now, you could have learned those stories of self sacrifice and the ability to listen to your inner self from any number of places, but it came to you from the catholic faith. But to me, you always had it in you, it could have been set free by any text or example that spoke to you, you just had to give yourself permission to hear it. This is in a way everywhere in christianity as the "light of christ" now, I'm a little different in that I don't believe that it is given to "all men".
The reason that I understand is because I was just like you once. I was like "I'm mormon because the mormon church is the only church where sin means something! How else could I do all these selfless things without the church! Without it I'd be a terrible person!" It might seem counter-intuitive but that was a form of narcissism. It took me too long to learn that I was in essence saying "Look at me! I've found something you don't have! Aren't I so clever?! Also look at this amazing thing that I'm doing!!" Everything became about my acts, and my acts were ultimately about me. Likewise when I would beat myself up for sinning that too was a form of narcissism, I was saying, "I have this amazing destiny and I'm such a terrible person I'm not living up to it!" Again it was all about me. Of course it didn't help that there was a whole team of people whose job it was to feed into both forms of narcissism, But it's my failure.
To me religion is a lot of like trying to teach a young child about the moon. Take a toddler and point at the moon. They will look at your finger pointing at the moon and focus on that rather than the moon you're trying to show them. To me that's religion. God is trying to show you the incredible universe and we instead focus on the finger pointing rather than what it's pointing to. Like Elijah, god was not in the wind, or the earthquake or the fire. To me the truth about god is bigger than we can imagine and vaster than we can comprehend.
Like I said, I get why you feel as you do. Religion spoke to you and therefore you ascribe your goodness to it. I argue you were already good (religion makes good people better and bad people worse) and religion showed you it was possible. Also, I don't think you can deny that there are people that do good solely for the greed of the promised treasures in heaven. When I was mormon several of my cohorts would say that the reason they would go on missions was so they could get a wife and the harder the mission prettier the wife. So you can understand where others criticism comes from
On the other hand the message from the priest is very encouraging. Very skeptical of Lutheranism though because of Luther’s abhorrent anti semitism and I have full love and support for Jewish people and religion. I’ve never been to a Lutheran Church and wonder how it compares to Episcopalian/Anglican.
Message the priest sent (who is a woman btw):
I am back from a few days of vacation.
Thank you for sharing a bit of your journey.
"...bigotry masked as love..." is definitely present, unfortunately throughout Christ's church. This is not God's will or way, but the brokenness of humanity. I love the old saying that churches are not museums of saints but hospitals for sinners.
A loving, caring, honest faith community is what you need and long for, and what you deserve as a beloved child of God.
What is your schedule like this week? Give me a text or a call and we can work something out.
Tbh I just want to see what she has to say.
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So long as you don't post the dick pics , I'm cool with it