THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: TVC15 on December 14, 2018, 08:18:07 PM

Title: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: TVC15 on December 14, 2018, 08:18:07 PM

Fuck me in the goat ass.  Oh well, it’ll be nice to finally railroad a criminal.

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: BlueTsunami on December 14, 2018, 09:12:49 PM

Incoherently scream attica until youre released from your bonds

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: Great Rumbler on December 14, 2018, 09:15:35 PM

I'll pray that it's an absolutely gruesome murder featuring mild cannibalism, for your sake.

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: Madrun Badrun on December 14, 2018, 09:17:06 PM

Don't judge them based on the colour of their skin or taste in marvel movies. 

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: agrajag on December 14, 2018, 09:39:40 PM

I will say a prayer for the poor jurors that have to be locked in a room with you.

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: jorma on December 15, 2018, 01:08:49 AM

at the jury selection thingy, just quote a bit from your dream diary, that should probably be enough to get you off

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: Transhuman on December 15, 2018, 08:51:34 AM

Keep us updated

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: zomgee on December 15, 2018, 09:29:25 AM

Quote from: jorma on December 15, 2018, 01:08:49 AM

at the jury selection thingy, just quote a bit from your dream diary, that should probably be enough to get you off

phrasing

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: Don Rumata on December 15, 2018, 09:49:54 AM

Quote from: agrajag on December 14, 2018, 09:39:40 PM

I will say a prayer for the poor jurors that have to be locked in a room with you.

Maybe you'll get to sit Jury Duty, for whatever comes outta that.

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: Human Snorenado on December 15, 2018, 12:20:00 PM

I can't imagine if you answer more than 3 questions truthfully you'd be selected. Just read them your old review from Viva Pinata.

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 15, 2018, 12:25:18 PM

This is your chance to put the system on trial. :punch

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: benjipwns on December 16, 2018, 12:58:09 AM

the things life never lets you do just because you deny the legitimate authority of a single entity :fbm

spoiler (click to show/hide)

lol jk it's the one thing you get from paying for a poli sci degree :doge

[close]

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: ToxicAdam on December 16, 2018, 11:12:57 AM

That’s why you should never read the mail. Just toss it all.

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: BIONIC on December 16, 2018, 11:36:28 AM

It would be a real missed opportunity if you didn’t show up in full BDSM gear, eating something that vaguely resembles human flesh, and openly talking about your animal sex dreams.

They need to know the real you  :quark

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: agrajag on December 16, 2018, 11:42:35 AM

show up in those bdsm hoof boots, gimp costume and a horse tail butt plug. Bonus points if you have a dildo attached to your forehead thingy

 :cody

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on December 16, 2018, 01:42:32 PM

I believe I've told this story here before. But the last time I got jury duty I was sitting next to a cute little grandma in her 70s (at least) and I helped her with the papers and all that and she proceeded to tell me about how the last time she went to jury duty it was for a prostitution ring bust and she proceeded to explain how they had a menu of the possible acts you could pay for and then went on to tell me each in great detail. You haven't lived until you've had someone's grandma explain to you what "around the world is" in graphic detail in a government building.

:rejoice

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: TVC15 on December 17, 2018, 02:08:29 PM

I don't get to Judge Dredd anyone today. But I need a place to go and work. There's construction outside my fucking apartment.

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: Himu on December 17, 2018, 03:14:19 PM

The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: benjipwns on December 18, 2018, 04:38:27 AM

you just say the jury has the right to judge the law as well as the facts no matter what a judge claims :doge

or that you don't trust the police procedures, especially in a search

it's pretty simple to get off a jury, or to get on one really...it's the "on call" that's toughest to avoid

spoiler (click to show/hide)

this is one of those fun anarchist/libertarian debates, should you act to get on a jury in order to ensure due process

[close]

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: jorma on December 18, 2018, 05:19:40 AM

Quote from: benjipwns on December 18, 2018, 04:38:27 AM

you just say the jury has the right to judge the law as well as the facts no matter what a judge claims :doge

or that you don't trust the police procedures, especially in a search

it's pretty simple to get off a jury, or to get on one really...it's the "on call" that's toughest to avoid

spoiler (click to show/hide)

this is one of those fun anarchist/libertarian debates, should you act to get on a jury in order to ensure due process

[close]

are you saying that telling them that you dream of funding a large (and super gay) criminal organization in Canada by selling drugs and silver coins might not be enough? :doge

Title: Re: I got jury duty on Monday
Post by: benjipwns on December 18, 2018, 06:16:55 AM

the real goal is to avoid contempt of court