THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Joe Molotov on March 28, 2019, 12:25:50 PM

Title: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Joe Molotov on March 28, 2019, 12:25:50 PM
https://www.vox.com/platform/amp/culture/2019/3/27/18282960/avengers-endgame-ant-man-vs-thanos-meme-butt-thanus

Voxplained.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: ToxicAdam on March 28, 2019, 12:39:15 PM
Yea, butt.

You know it's going to be some corny-ass, Disney bullshit where all the heroes band together in a symbol of unity.

I loved Guardians of the Galaxy, but it had that same kind of hokey ending.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: CatsCatsCats on March 28, 2019, 12:42:28 PM
I’d prefer they turn sandman into an ally and do it marvel zombies style.

(https://imgix.ranker.com/user_node_img/50061/1001217756/original/spider-man-swallows-sandman-explodes-photo-u1?w=650&q=50&fm=pjpg&fit=crop&crop=faces)

Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 28, 2019, 03:47:08 PM
I’d prefer they turn sandman into an ally and do it marvel zombies style.

(https://imgix.ranker.com/user_node_img/50061/1001217756/original/spider-man-swallows-sandman-explodes-photo-u1?w=650&q=50&fm=pjpg&fit=crop&crop=faces)

Thanks, I hate it.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Dickie Dee on March 28, 2019, 04:05:33 PM
Yea, butt.

You know it's going to be some corny-ass, Disney bullshit where all the heroes band together in a symbol of unity.

I loved Guardians of the Galaxy, but it had that same kind of hokey ending.

Doubt it'll be that simple, Infinity War was one of the best plotted out movies I've ever seen (no hyperbole).
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 28, 2019, 04:42:55 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07P538K83iU
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: agrajag on March 28, 2019, 05:33:21 PM
nah, he should crawl in Thanos' dick hole
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: CatsCatsCats on March 28, 2019, 06:01:21 PM
I’d prefer they turn sandman into an ally and do it marvel zombies style.

(https://imgix.ranker.com/user_node_img/50061/1001217756/original/spider-man-swallows-sandman-explodes-photo-u1?w=650&q=50&fm=pjpg&fit=crop&crop=faces)

Thanks, I hate it.

But look at sand pregnant spidey tho
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Mandark on March 28, 2019, 06:02:32 PM
nah, he should crawl in Thanos' dick hole

That's a sound plan.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Yeti on March 28, 2019, 07:23:06 PM
We’ve already discussed Thanos’s clenching powers, I think this would be a no go
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 07:35:40 PM
please end this comic book movie shit show. I haven't even seen Infinity War. Literally who gives a shit.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: agrajag on March 28, 2019, 07:39:46 PM
Infinity Wars was one of the better ones, from a sheer spectacle standpoint.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 07:50:09 PM
It's great that the Marvel Comics movies have learned and transitioned so much from the comic page to the silver screen.

Things like years and years and years without a finale. It's just an endless bukkake parade of excess. Much like how Batman and Spider-Man are 50+ year old creations without a planned ending in sight that keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on yet Marvel and DC, for some reason, expects you to keep buying them.

It's also great that they've managed to transition the HORRENDOUS Marvel Comic consumption habits on the movies. Just like with the comics you have to watch/read that OTHER movie to understand what's going on THIS one even if it's a totally different hero's flick. Editors Note: #Please refer to Bad Comic Movie 3.  Readers/Watchers Note: This is why I stopped reading Marvel and I no longer watch Marvel movies.

Eventually watchers will catch on to the giant sham it is. Which will hopefully be any year now. Here's hoping the next Hollywood fad is actually good.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Madrun Badrun on March 28, 2019, 08:02:12 PM
nah, he should crawl in Thanos' dick hole

That's a sound plan.

Is this a sounding joke? 
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Mandark on March 28, 2019, 08:05:48 PM
Yup!


edit: at the point where I thought this would get overlooked like my breast milk/letdown pun, I should've known Arvie would come through. Bless up.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 28, 2019, 08:14:20 PM
Eventually watchers will catch on to the giant sham it is.

Iron Man 1 came out 11 years ago, but these movies are making more money now than they ever have. Maybe after End Game shakes things up and they start rolling out the new heroes it starts a downward trend, but I wouldn't bet on it.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Mandark on March 28, 2019, 08:16:23 PM
Right now this thread should just be everyone posting applause gifs to celebrate my sounding pun.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 08:20:49 PM
Eventually watchers will catch on to the giant sham it is.

Iron Man 1 came out 11 years ago, but these movies are making more money now than they ever have. Maybe after End Game shakes things up and they start rolling out the new heroes it starts a downward trend, but I wouldn't bet on it.

New heroes?

(https://i.imgur.com/IUbTjD3.gif)
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 08:22:45 PM
Right now this thread should just be everyone posting applause gifs to celebrate my sounding pun.

It was pretty good.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Dickie Dee on March 28, 2019, 08:39:59 PM
nah, he should crawl in Thanos' dick hole

That's a sound plan.

I'm saying it out loud but still not getting it  :doge
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 08:41:46 PM
nah, he should crawl in Thanos' dick hole

That's a sound plan.

I'm saying it out loud but still not getting it  :doge

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/mbx4za/how-to-sounding-insert-rod-up-your-urethra
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Dickie Dee on March 28, 2019, 08:43:05 PM
 :noooo
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Rahxephon91 on March 28, 2019, 08:52:50 PM
The only my thing more annoying then nerds gushing about Marvel movies is other nerds gushing about how they are above the other nerds and how these movies suck and are annoying.

Oh boy you discovered the secret that Super hero comics are never ending. Wow how amazing that your are above the trap that has befallen so many comic book readers.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 09:03:05 PM
The only my thing more annoying then nerds gushing about Marvel movies is other nerds gushing about how they are above the other nerds and how these movies suck and are annoying.

Oh boy you discovered the secret that Super hero comics are never ending. Wow how amazing that your are above the trap that has befallen so many comic book readers.

I like them. In gulps. I love Black Panther for instance but okay. They've released over 40 super hero movies this decade. What do you expect? Unless you're a hardcore Marvel fan this shouldn't be considered a controversial opinion. Never mind that it's obvious from my posts that I'm a comic book fan that has the same exact complaint with actual comic books.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: agrajag on March 28, 2019, 09:19:27 PM
the sounding joke was a litmus test for the depraved perverts on the board. Thanks for revealing yourselves so us innocent, law abiding Bire denizens can stay away from you.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: The Sceneman on March 28, 2019, 09:33:11 PM
Lvl. 1000 Mafia Thanos
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 09:42:46 PM
the sounding joke was a litmus test for the depraved perverts on the board. Thanks for revealing yourselves so us innocent, law abiding Bire denizens can stay away from you.

I mean, I heard of it but it's pretty disgusting.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Dickie Dee on March 28, 2019, 09:42:52 PM
the sounding joke was a litmus test for the depraved perverts on the board. Thanks for revealing yourselves so us innocent, law abiding Bire denizens can stay away from you.

I just new it by it's official name https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cystoscopy (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cystoscopy) which I had once.

HARD PASS
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: agrajag on March 28, 2019, 10:13:44 PM
now that I think about it, I read about inserting things in there in Chuck Palahniuk's Guts, but I didn't know it was called sounding.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on March 28, 2019, 10:28:49 PM
is Thanos sober curious? i need a Voxsplainer
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Madrun Badrun on March 28, 2019, 10:31:47 PM
Right now this thread should just be everyone posting applause gifs to celebrate my sounding pun.

TBH, it wasn't that a'sounding
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 28, 2019, 10:32:24 PM
Eventually watchers will catch on to the giant sham it is.

Iron Man 1 came out 11 years ago, but these movies are making more money now than they ever have. Maybe after End Game shakes things up and they start rolling out the new heroes it starts a downward trend, but I wouldn't bet on it.

New heroes?

(https://i.imgur.com/IUbTjD3.gif)

A lot of the heroes from the first few movies [Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, ect.] are running out of movies on their contracts, which means either new contracts [which will cost a lot of money] or replacing them with new heroes or have new people take up the mantle of the previous hero. That's already started in with Captain Marvel, Spiderman, and Black Panther being major players, and the trend is likely to continue. Most people see End Game as a natural dividing line between the older cast and the newer cast [some of the heroes die or retire, other heroes step in to fill their places].
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Madrun Badrun on March 28, 2019, 10:33:19 PM
Who wore it better Bore?
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 10:36:30 PM
Eventually watchers will catch on to the giant sham it is.

Iron Man 1 came out 11 years ago, but these movies are making more money now than they ever have. Maybe after End Game shakes things up and they start rolling out the new heroes it starts a downward trend, but I wouldn't bet on it.

New heroes?

(https://i.imgur.com/IUbTjD3.gif)

A lot of the heroes from the first few movies [Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, ect.] are running out of movies on their contracts, which means either new contracts [which will cost a lot of money] or replacing them with new heroes or have new people take up the mantle of the previous hero. That's already started in with Captain Marvel, Spiderman, and Black Panther being major players, and the trend is likely to continue. Most people see End Game as a natural dividing line between the older cast and the newer cast [some of the heroes die or retire, other heroes step in to fill their places].

So like what happened in actual comic books. :beli How long do they plan to keep going?
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Great Rumbler on March 28, 2019, 10:40:24 PM
So like what happened in actual comic books. :beli How long do they plan to keep going?

Marvel has 10 movies currently in development for release after Endgame and through 2022.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 10:48:46 PM

So like what happened in actual comic books. :beli How long do they plan to keep going?

As long as they continue to be profitable?

That's obvious, but why fuck something to death? You're supposed to cradle her and fuck her slowly dammit. Have some foreplay. Jesus.

So like what happened in actual comic books. :beli How long do they plan to keep going?

Marvel has 10 movies currently in development for release after Endgame and through 2022.

10 movies in like 3 years?

(https://i.imgur.com/IUbTjD3.gif)

Just let it die.

Remember when you'd go to a non-superhero movie with regular folks? Please choke yourself on your own rope, Marvel Studios.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on March 28, 2019, 10:49:26 PM
Cindi, Warner Bros. has a film coming out starring Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker. Also Jared Leto is still playing The Joker in the Harley Quinn associated canon films. :doge

When Disney gets around to incorporating the X-Men they're dumping everything Fox has done. Not to mention they'll have everything that was tied up with the Fantastic Four license to play with. They've got gobs of identifiable characters to use for the next decade.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 10:52:13 PM
Cindi, Warner Bros. has a film coming out starring Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker. Also Jared Leto is still playing The Joker in the Harley Quinn associated canon films. :doge

When Disney gets around to incorporating the X-Men they're dumping everything Fox has done. Not to mention they'll have everything that was tied up with the Fantastic Four license to play with. They've got gobs of identifiable characters to use for the next decade.

I figure as much. Here's hoping the X-Men movies are actually good. The Fox stuff mostly ranged from trash to okay. First Class was easily my favorite.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: agrajag on March 28, 2019, 10:52:39 PM
out of curiosity Cindi, do you want Marvel to also stop producing new comic books?
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on March 28, 2019, 10:55:19 PM
10 movies in like 3 years?
That's already been the pace of their scheduling since Age of Ultron:
2008: Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk
2010: Iron Man 2
2011: Thor, Captain America
2012: The Avengers
2013: Iron Man 3, Thor 2: The Dark World
2014: Captain America: Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy
2015: Avengers: Ultron, Ant-Man
2016: Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange
2017: Guardians 2, Spider-Man: Homecoming, Thor: Ragnorok
2018: Black Panther, Avengers: Infinity War, Ant Man and the Wasp
2019: Captain Marvel, Avengers: Endgame, Spider-Man: Far From Home
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 11:03:13 PM
out of curiosity Cindi, do you want Marvel to also stop producing new comic books?

If I were Marvel and DC, this is what I would do:

- I would force all writes to make a long term plan for a finale for all current books.
- End the shit. Make it conclusive.
- No X-Men, Spider-Man, whatever the fuck ever man. Not all at once of course because that'd fuck your business ala DC 52.
- Create new books to create new stories and heroes with a specific beginning to end long-term plan in terms of plot. Beginning, middle, end. Kaput. No stupid extra books either. No goddamn Amazing Spider-Man, Spectacular Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man, all these multiple books starring one character or group. Fuck that shit. One book, one story. Stop being hacks.
- Then, when those books are done with their stories, slowly bring back the old classics after maybe a decade worth of books. Spider-man, X-men, what the fuck ever man. This is now your event. A once in a generation event where each generation gets to put their own spin on the classic heroes with the best of the best on the most popular and iconic books.
- Make these new stories of classic heroes have writers that stay on. Have them make a conclusive plot from beginning to middle to end. There must be an arc.
- End those stories.
- Repeat.

As it is now, why keep reading? Spider-Man is a 50 year old story that keeps going and going and going and going. I love me some Spidey, I love me some X-Men, but it's fucking stupid. Why should I keep reading? Why should I keep buying? This shit can cost upward of 4 bucks a book now. Stories end. Stories have conclusions. End the fucking shit and kill the goddamn bitch.

Also, if I were to throw a swerve into the American comic book market, I'd personally find likewise thinkers who think the current situation of American comics is dogshit, repetitive, and asinine business model. I'd rip off the Japanese model and team up with Kodansha or Jump to make an American version, except monthly. One massive tome of comics a month. In color. With conclusive stories. Beginning, middle, end. Sell in grocery stores next to the magazines next to the gum at the cashier checkout. Then I'd watch the American model slowly fuck itself to death (hopefully).
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 11:03:38 PM
10 movies in like 3 years?
That's already been the pace of their scheduling since Age of Ultron:
2008: Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk
2010: Iron Man 2
2011: Thor, Captain America
2012: The Avengers
2013: Iron Man 3, Thor 2: The Dark World
2014: Captain America: Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy
2015: Avengers: Ultron, Ant-Man
2016: Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange
2017: Guardians 2, Spider-Man: Homecoming, Thor: Ragnorok
2018: Black Panther, Avengers: Infinity War, Ant Man and the Wasp
2019: Captain Marvel, Avengers: Endgame, Spider-Man: Far From Home

Exactly. The ramp up has been ridiculous.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on March 28, 2019, 11:06:55 PM
Disney's pace isn't as bad as it could be, before BvS sorta bombed and they saw Snyder's Cut of Justice League, Warners originally planned to put out at least three, and usually four DC films a year into 2022

they've since cut back to two per year, but are almost certainly going to jump back up to three after Aquaman's performance if Shazam does well, they already plan three in 2021 and they've got a great big gap in the schedule between June 2020 and June 2021 to move something into, it's there because they shoved Green Lantern Corps way back, restarted The Flash after Aquaman was led to billions by Pitbull, all but officially cancelled a Justice League 2 for probably at least five plus years and since Geoff Johns is no longer involved nobody on the planet wants to see a Cyborg film
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 11:11:47 PM
Last comic book movies I saw:

- Black Panther
- Ant Man 2
- Uhhhhhhh I'm drawing a blank
- I saw Civil War like a year or so after it came out

Those are the recent ones.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 11:15:21 PM
out of curiosity Cindi, do you want Marvel to also stop producing new comic books?

If I were Marvel and DC, this is what I would do:

- I would force all writes to make a long term plan for a finale for all current books.
- End the shit. Make it conclusive.
- No X-Men, Spider-Man, whatever the fuck ever man. Not all at once of course because that'd fuck your business ala DC 52.
- Create new books to create new stories and heroes with a specific beginning to end long-term plan in terms of plot. Beginning, middle, end. Kaput. No stupid extra books either. No goddamn Amazing Spider-Man, Spectacular Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man, all these multiple books starring one character or group. Fuck that shit. One book, one story. Stop being hacks.
- Then, when those books are done with their stories, slowly bring back the old classics after maybe a decade worth of books. Spider-man, X-men, what the fuck ever man. This is now your event. A once in a generation event where each generation gets to put their own spin on the classic heroes.
- Make these new stories of classic heroes have writers that stay on. Have them make a conclusive plot from beginning to middle to end. There must be an arc.
- End those stories.
- Repeat.

As it is now, why keep reading? Spider-Man is a 50 year old story that keeps going and going and going and going. I love me some Spidey, I love me some X-Men, but it's fucking stupid. Why should I keep reading? Why should I keep buying? This shit can cost upward of 4 bucks a book now. Stories end. Stories have conclusions. End the fucking shit and kill the goddamn bitch.

Also, if I were to throw a swerve into the American comic book market, I'd personally find likewise thinkers who think the current situation of American comics is dogshit, repetitive, and asinine business model. I'd rip off the Japanese model and team up with Kodansha or Jump to make an American version, except monthly. One massive tome of comics a month. In color. With conclusive stories. Beginning, middle, end. Sell in grocery stores next to the magazines next to the gum at the cashier checkout. Then I'd watch the American model slowly fuck itself to death (hopefully).

Essentially, Alan Moore and DC showed the path for the future of comics in the 80's. LXG, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, these have definitive endings. They're self contained, tell good stories. Moore showed the entire industry the light and instead of copying and applying it to all comics they mostly decided to just walk through a path of thorns instead and the entire industry has suffered and become more niche because of it. End the shit. Fuck it.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on March 28, 2019, 11:18:43 PM
If I were Marvel and DC, this is what I would do:

- I would force all writes to make a long term plan for a finale for all current books.
- End the shit. Make it conclusive.
- No X-Men, Spider-Man, whatever the fuck ever man. Not all at once of course because that'd fuck your business ala DC 52.
- Create new books to create new stories and heroes with a specific beginning to end long-term plan in terms of plot. Beginning, middle, end. Kaput. No stupid extra books either. No goddamn Amazing Spider-Man, Spectacular Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man, all these multiple books starring one character or group. Fuck that shit. One book, one story. Stop being hacks.
- Then, when those books are done with their stories, slowly bring back the old classics after maybe a decade worth of books. Spider-man, X-men, what the fuck ever man. This is now your event. A once in a generation event where each generation gets to put their own spin on the classic heroes.
- Make these new stories of classic heroes have writers that stay on. Have them make a conclusive plot from beginning to middle to end. There must be an arc.
- End those stories.
- Repeat.

As it is now, why keep reading? Spider-Man is a 50 year old story that keeps going and going and going and going. I love me some Spidey, I love me some X-Men, but it's fucking stupid. Why should I keep reading? Why should I keep buying? This shit can cost upward of 4 bucks a book now. Stories end. Stories have conclusions. End the fucking shit and kill the goddamn bitch.

Also, if I were to throw a swerve into the American comic book market, I'd personally find likewise thinkers who think the current situation of American comics is dogshit, repetitive, and asinine business model. I'd rip off the Japanese model and team up with Kodansha or Jump to make an American version, except monthly. One massive tome of comics a month. In color. With conclusive stories. Beginning, middle, end. Sell in grocery stores next to the magazines next to the gum at the cashier checkout. Then I'd watch the American model slowly fuck itself to death (hopefully).
All that exists on their other imprints. The main stuff keeps the same popular characters because they continue to be popular.

As is, most writers terms on a book do form a story arc, then the next writer comes along and produces his own. DC's certainly promoted this "a book is its author" concept for a while now. We had Grant Morrison do a huge Batman run, then Scott Snyder picked it up for New 52 that eventually was brought to a head in Metal, while Tom King took over for his run that continues to be its own unique thing. While Detective Comics has been a place for an entire different type of Batman Family story since Rebirth. Geoff Johns did his Justice League run as a complete epic, much like Morrison had done a decade earlier.

Marvel's editorial is a mess in comparison but they still have a similar situation with writers runs being a "take" on the character until the writer leaves. Marvel's done more than DC with their own imprints that are separate with the same characters like Unlimited was. DC has the poorly planned Earth One only really.

But the other imprints, Vertigo especially for DC has long been what you're demanding. Other companies like Image or Dark Horse offer tons of books that are nothing but this. Kill or Be Killed. Harrow County. Two recent ones that ended. Earlier highly praised stuff like Fables, DMZ, 100 Bullets, etc. all came with endings to their runs. Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead has no intentional ending because it's supposed to jump around characters in the same world, yet his other work, Invincible was a mega series with a whole arc that came to a conclusion. One of my favorites, East of West, is a series with an ending, it's just not the writer or the artists primary book so despite it ultimately being less than 50 issues, it's just taking twice as long as a mainstream book to come out. Saga supposedly has an ending that will come but they write it and release it in "seasons" now so the schedule is off compared to mainstream books.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 11:23:33 PM
If I were Marvel and DC, this is what I would do:

- I would force all writes to make a long term plan for a finale for all current books.
- End the shit. Make it conclusive.
- No X-Men, Spider-Man, whatever the fuck ever man. Not all at once of course because that'd fuck your business ala DC 52.
- Create new books to create new stories and heroes with a specific beginning to end long-term plan in terms of plot. Beginning, middle, end. Kaput. No stupid extra books either. No goddamn Amazing Spider-Man, Spectacular Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man, all these multiple books starring one character or group. Fuck that shit. One book, one story. Stop being hacks.
- Then, when those books are done with their stories, slowly bring back the old classics after maybe a decade worth of books. Spider-man, X-men, what the fuck ever man. This is now your event. A once in a generation event where each generation gets to put their own spin on the classic heroes.
- Make these new stories of classic heroes have writers that stay on. Have them make a conclusive plot from beginning to middle to end. There must be an arc.
- End those stories.
- Repeat.

As it is now, why keep reading? Spider-Man is a 50 year old story that keeps going and going and going and going. I love me some Spidey, I love me some X-Men, but it's fucking stupid. Why should I keep reading? Why should I keep buying? This shit can cost upward of 4 bucks a book now. Stories end. Stories have conclusions. End the fucking shit and kill the goddamn bitch.

Also, if I were to throw a swerve into the American comic book market, I'd personally find likewise thinkers who think the current situation of American comics is dogshit, repetitive, and asinine business model. I'd rip off the Japanese model and team up with Kodansha or Jump to make an American version, except monthly. One massive tome of comics a month. In color. With conclusive stories. Beginning, middle, end. Sell in grocery stores next to the magazines next to the gum at the cashier checkout. Then I'd watch the American model slowly fuck itself to death (hopefully).
All that exists on their other imprints. The main stuff keeps the same popular characters because they continue to be popular.

As is, most writers terms on a book do form a story arc, then the next writer comes along and produces his own. DC's certainly promoted this "a book is its author" concept for a while now. We had Grant Morrison do a huge Batman run, then Scott Snyder picked it up for New 52 that eventually was brought to a head in Metal, while Tom King took over for his run that continues to be its own unique thing. While Detective Comics has been a place for an entire different type of Batman Family story since Rebirth. Geoff Johns did his Justice League run as a complete epic, much like Morrison had done a decade earlier.

Marvel's editorial is a mess in comparison but they still have a similar situation with writers runs being a "take" on the character until the writer leaves. Marvel's done more than DC with their own imprints that are separate with the same characters like Unlimited was. DC has the poorly planned Earth One only really.

But the other imprints, Vertigo especially for DC has long been what you're demanding. Other companies like Image or Dark Horse offer tons of books that are nothing but this. Kill or Be Killed. Harrow County. Two recent ones that ended. Earlier highly praised stuff like Fables, DMZ, 100 Bullets, etc. all came with endings to their runs. Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead has no intentional ending because it's supposed to jump around characters in the same world, yet his other work, Invincible was a mega series with a whole arc that came to a conclusion. One of my favorites, East of West, is a series with an ending, it's just not the writer or the artists primary book so despite it ultimately being less than 50 issues, it's just taking twice as long as a mainstream book to come out. Saga supposedly has an ending that will come but they write it and release it in "seasons" now so the schedule is off compared to mainstream books.

I already full well know that different authors jump on board and have their own eras. I don't really care. The story keeps going. End it. Close the casket. Also I specifically said Marvel and DC. I know full well that others make self contained stories and that's why I read them. DC is better about this than Marvel of course. But this says nothing about books like Spider-Man, Batman, X-Men or whatever. Those just keep going like a perpetual soap opera. But here's the thing about soap operas - characters leave, actors move on. Telenovelas end. End Spider-Man. End his story. He deserves it.

FWIW I have the same issue with shit like The Simpsons. 30 years of the goddamn shit. Just fucking end it already. This "we should keep going because it's profitable until its entire legacy is in ashes" is fucking stupid creatively as well as fiscally.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on March 28, 2019, 11:27:36 PM
But DC does do it and has for 25+ years under the Vertigo imprint.

Alan Moore also wrote 40 issues over three years on Swamp Thing as the regular writer. His America's Best stuff doesn't technically all have endings, he just loses interest in them. That was the situation with The League of Extraordinary Gentleman, he just never came back to it.

It was also Swamp Thing, not Watchmen, which led to the launch of the Vertigo imprint.

Grant Morrison almost always writes everything he does as finite. Be it on a limited series like All-Star Superman, Seven Soldiers, Final Crisis, 52, The Invisibles, etc. or him taking over a series and not caring what he's leaving for the next writer as he did with Action Comics, Batman, Animal Man, Doom Patrol, JLA, X-Men. Or perhaps most infamously The Authority and Wildcats which he bailed out on after two issues and one issue respectively, and left the series as so nonredeemable it led to the entire imprint bringing about the apocalypse and everyone writing the various series, most notably The Authority, in the new post-apocalyptic wake. :lol
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 11:28:21 PM
I said above that DC is better about this than Marvel. But the main topic is Marvel and they are the main target of my ire.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 11:30:37 PM
Also, again. I told you I know about writers doing their own thing. I know about The Dark Knight Returns, All Star Superman, Sin City. I've read them. I own them. I cherish them. But that doesn't stop Superman comics from still going on and and on and on. End it. It gets to a point where it exists purely just to make money and it is now creatively defunct.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on March 28, 2019, 11:36:21 PM
Quote
But this says nothing about books like Spider-Man or X-Men or whatever. Those just keep going like a perpetual soap opera. But here's the thing about soap operas - characters leave, actors move on. Telenovelas end. End Spider-Man. End his story. He deserves it.
There's still people who want Spider-Man and X-Men stories.

You can pick any part as a good "ending" and have it be yours. I think Scrubs season six should have stayed the ending. It didn't, the show was briefly renewed and then rebooted on an other network. Oh well. I prefer it as the ending point it was written as. Plus it gave us Cougar Town in the end. Despite liking parts that came after, I think the preferred ending of The Office was when Michael leaves. It wasn't, it dragged on for years. And those are shows that had actual character arcs. The Simpsons doesn't. Or Family Guy. They're mediums that change with the authors. The funny books do that and have arcs, no need to end them when people want more.  :yeshrug
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on March 28, 2019, 11:38:37 PM
But that doesn't stop Superman comics from still going on and and on and on. End it. It gets to a point where it exists purely just to make money and it is now creatively defunct.
It's always existed at its core to make money. I think it was "creatively defunct" when they fucking killed the guy, created phony alternates and then brought him back in under a year mostly to reap profits off the speculator market. Geoff Johns' run over a decade later with the Legion of Super Heroes and New Krypton was better than nearly everything that been done before with the character.

And talk about creatively defunct and purely to make money when it comes to Marvel, the fucking Clone Saga and everything that was happening at the same time in X-Men during the late 1990s.

Age of Apocalypse and No Man's Land are some of the only story arcs from that era that have stood the test of time. KnightsFall/KnightsQuest/KnightsEnd are a hilarious anachronistic mess.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 11:44:09 PM
Quote
But this says nothing about books like Spider-Man or X-Men or whatever. Those just keep going like a perpetual soap opera. But here's the thing about soap operas - characters leave, actors move on. Telenovelas end. End Spider-Man. End his story. He deserves it.
There's still people who want Spider-Man and X-Men stories.

You can pick any part as a good "ending" and have it be yours. I think Scrubs season six should have stayed the ending. It didn't, the show was briefly renewed and then rebooted on an other network. Oh well. I prefer it as the ending point it was written as. Plus it gave us Cougar Town in the end. Despite liking parts that came after, I think the preferred ending of The Office was when Michael leaves. It wasn't, it dragged on for years. And those are shows that had actual character arcs. The Simpsons doesn't. Or Family Guy. They're mediums that change with the authors. The funny books do that and have arcs, no need to end them when people want more.  :yeshrug

I just have like to have a conclusion. I can't think of any one good "ending" to Spider-Man and it pisses me off that I will never get an ending because these other Spidey sluts just like reading Spider-Man no matter what as people make it up as it goes along. I just really like conclusion. I like seeing the end of the journey for the characters that I love. Instead it'll keep going on repeat. This is why, ultimately, Seinfeld is better than The Simpsons to me even though I actually like Simpsons 1-10 more. I just like an ending.

Yeah Death of Superman was fucking stupid and money grabby.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 11:51:07 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/tgYkvCn.jpg)

Tha gawd

Oh wait, time for Marvel Studios/Disney to make another teenage Spider-Man. Can't wait.

(https://i.imgur.com/IUbTjD3.gif)
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on March 28, 2019, 11:54:43 PM
Well, I mean what ending can there really be other than Spidey gets old, retires and then dies. Either that or he dies in battle some way. Remember the Animated Series wacky ending where he shows up in the real world. :lol

To bring it back to Endgame, there's some characters who are dying or moving on, they're getting an ending. But the MCU "world" still exists with the newer characters. Now sure, in the case of the movies it has a lot to do with the actors and behind the scenes but they're actually writing an ending for this "arc" and main set of characters. It'll probably be some time before we see Thanos, Iron Man and Captain America at the least in Marvel's films. (I'd include Thor but I think Chris Hemsworth has said he has one more to do. Hulk is CGI so...) Other than maybe tiny cameos like Nick Fury has done for most of this whole set of films.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 28, 2019, 11:57:53 PM
FWIW Benji I have this complaint about a lot of Japanese video games. Games like Ace Attorney and Yakuza just keep shelling shit out with no definite plan to the characters. Oh, they finally ended Kiryu’s story but it took them over 10 years and 7 games. I respect and prefer grander vision. Ace Attorney games are just running on fumes these days. Just end the shit. End it definitively. Never make another one. Games that aren’t as story-focused like Mario or Zelda I don’t mind. I just can’t stand milking a character repeatedly with few exceptions (LUPIN :hyper).

I’m probably coming at this as someone who writes plans for my own stories. Stories without any plan for conclusion piss me off when I’m planning my own story and it impacts the products I like to consume as well.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 29, 2019, 12:05:48 AM
Well, I mean what ending can there really be other than Spidey gets old, retires and then dies. Either that or he dies in battle some way. Remember the Animated Series wacky ending where he shows up in the real world. :lol

To bring it back to Endgame, there's some characters who are dying or moving on, they're getting an ending. But the MCU "world" still exists with the newer characters. Now sure, in the case of the movies it has a lot to do with the actors and behind the scenes but they're actually writing an ending for this "arc" and main set of characters. It'll probably be some time before we see Thanos, Iron Man and Captain America at the least in Marvel's films. (I'd include Thor but I think Chris Hemsworth has said he has one more to do. Hulk is CGI so...) Other than maybe tiny cameos like Nick Fury has done for most of this whole set of films.

So it’s like game of thrones/asoiaf where the live action will actually complete the story. I’ll admit that if the Spideu movies eventually make Peter an adult, marry Mary Jane, and have a conclusive story I’ll be all for it.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on March 29, 2019, 12:15:57 AM
I do wish DC had handled Earth One better...or really any of the Earths Morrison has sketched out for them. The Multiversity was supposed to create all these alternate Earths that then other writers could come along and produce a series in. Like happened with Earth 2.

I wouldn't at all hate say a Batman series set on Earth-39 or whatever, that's only intended to run for 24 or 50 issues or something. The old Legends of the Dark Knight and Batman Confidential and one other I can't remember the name of, series were like mini versions of this. Each arc was self-contained and didn't have to rely on any parts of canon it didn't want to. Originally they were designed to be set "early" in Batmans career which was a hook I liked where he was less perfect, but it gradually expanded into just any interpretation of Batman or the villains. Then after the arc was over, a new one totally unattached to what came before. (Though sometimes the writer came back to do a sequel arc.)

As good as the Unlimited/Ultimate seemed at times it was kinda silly to just have two ongoing versions of the character/team/etc., and eventually in multiple versions of the books. Would rather have a best of both worlds with many finite sets of series and then the Earth Prime that never ends for twelve more years when the Earth dies from climate chaos.

DC did a comic adaption for Injustice that diverged totally from the video games and has turned into an ongoing, it was supposed to be like a series set before the game that would end where the game starts, but eventually just went past that and kept going while waiting on Injustice 2, which totally ignored the comic, so there's like now two Injustice universes or something. :lol
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: kingv on March 29, 2019, 12:45:31 AM
I think the injustice comics actually did end at the beginning of injustice 2... it just didn’t end until after injustice 2 actually launched.

Edit: there were a number of characters that died in the comics but were replaced by “alternate reality” versions, presumably because they were actually in the game.

The injustice comics were good. I enjoyed all 5 years of it or whatever.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on March 29, 2019, 04:03:48 AM
ya Injustice is pretty good, although the whole HERE'S SOMEONE EVEN MORE POWERFUL BATMAN HAS DUG UP is a bit annoying
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Joe Molotov on March 29, 2019, 06:54:58 AM
Let’s get back to the real topic at hand; will one man enter another man’s butt in Infinity Bores and then get big? Or will he enter through the urethra instead? I should have made this a poll.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: thisismyusername on March 29, 2019, 07:59:12 AM
Let’s get back to the real topic at hand; will one man enter another man’s butt in Infinity Bores and then get big? Or will he enter through the urethra instead? I should have made this a poll.

No, because Disney won't allow Deadpool to suggest that to the Avengers.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Brehvolution on March 29, 2019, 12:53:46 PM
https://i.imgur.com/h3mcwhI.mp4
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Dickie Dee on March 29, 2019, 02:27:20 PM
https://i.imgur.com/h3mcwhI.mp4

So this is actually a thing, huh?
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: kingv on March 29, 2019, 05:02:05 PM
Disappointed nobody has used term Thanus yet.

The Thanus initiative.

I think I’m mostly curious about what is next after these movies. I kind of figured they would use it to reset the universe in a way where some characters got new actors. But I also feel that would be a hard ass thing to hide.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: toku on March 29, 2019, 11:17:22 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/SmhDfrW.jpg)
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: kingv on March 30, 2019, 09:28:36 PM
I just realized this is called Endgame...

End game what is the end? The rear end?

And Evangeline Lilly is the wasps girlfriend? What else was she in? Lost. And in Lost they say “we have to go back!”

Well, what’s in the back?

The Thanus.

Guys. This is real.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: team filler on March 30, 2019, 09:35:23 PM
antman is going to give thanus a prostate massage and turn thanus gay. then thanus will snap his finger to bring the other half of the universe back, but now they're all gay too  :-[
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Yeti on March 30, 2019, 10:44:51 PM
People don’t realize that ANTman is an acronym: Anus Neutralizes Thanos
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: VomKriege on March 31, 2019, 07:26:35 AM
Do not underestimate audiences's willingness to see the same thing again and again.

Quote
After the Western's renewed commercial successes in the late 1930s, the popularity of the Western continued to rise until its peak in the 1950s, when the number of Western films produced outnumbered all other genres combined.

(In US production I guess, but still.)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_(genre) (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_(genre))

Western were ubiquitous for 30 years and that was after having gone through one long huge stretch as a popular genre not that long before.

We still have, at least, ten years of that shit ahead of us, I'm afraid.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Joe Molotov on March 31, 2019, 09:07:47 AM
I just realized this is called Endgame...

End game what is the end? The rear end?

And Evangeline Lilly is the wasps girlfriend? What else was she in? Lost. And in Lost they say “we have to go back!”

Well, what’s in the back?

The Thanus.

Guys. This is real.

(https://i.imgur.com/Jvkhl9b.jpg)
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: thisismyusername on March 31, 2019, 10:08:53 AM
antman is going to give thanus a prostate massage and turn thanus gay. then thanus will snap his finger to bring the other half of the universe back, but now they're all gay too  :-[

GOOD END!
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 31, 2019, 03:46:24 PM
Do not underestimate audiences's willingness to see the same thing again and again.

Quote
After the Western's renewed commercial successes in the late 1930s, the popularity of the Western continued to rise until its peak in the 1950s, when the number of Western films produced outnumbered all other genres combined.

(In US production I guess, but still.)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_(genre) (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_(genre))

Western were ubiquitous for 30 years and that was after having gone through one long huge stretch as a popular genre not that long before.

We still have, at least, ten years of that shit ahead of us, I'm afraid.

Westerns could be Deep st least. Most hero flicks are pandering garbage.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 31, 2019, 06:05:53 PM
Watched Infinity War to see what I "missed".

It was complete and utter garbage.

One "wait, I'll give you the stone! Please don't kill him!" moment after another, combined with shoving "comedic" diarrhea in every scene no matter how serious, and distinguished mentally-challenged fellow moments meant purely to just extend the storyline (Starlord freaking out about Gamora) two seconds before Thanus loses the gauntlet. There are literally two - maybe three - moments in the movie where a lover says to kill them if blah blah happens. "Wanda, it's time." 'NO!" :sabu

What an awful, awful movie. Probably as bad as Avengers 2.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: thisismyusername on March 31, 2019, 06:20:50 PM
Being fair: Wanda lost her brother (I really wish the Fox merger brings Evan Peters in, better Quicksilver, IMO). Her robot boyfriend is the only thing she had left from the fracture that the Avengers had in Civil War.

Peter is human and doesn't want to kill his love, makes sense.

I do find the giving the stone a bit pointless, but you have to remember he had the ability to teleport/manipulate time (from Doctor Stange), etc from the gauntlet at the point where he was getting the yellow gem, it was basically over about 30 mins ago into the movie.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Nintex on March 31, 2019, 06:23:34 PM
Hawkeye returns for a reason. He's probably the key to defeating Thanos.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ant Man takes a lift in his mouth as he blows Thanos?
[close]
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 31, 2019, 06:29:41 PM
There are three "wait I'll give you the stone!" moments in the movie.

Loki doing it for Thor
Gamora for her "sister" (what)
Strange for Stark

Movie is flat out trash. Like I actually laughed out loud during the ending credits.

Vision: kill me Wanda
Me: you're a superhero nicca, end yourself. Just blast your self repeatedly with a beam out of your own hand nicca.

Thanos gets the last stone, teleports to some water place with a temple:
Me: what is this ocarina of time shit? :sabu

At least in FFVII, Sephiroth uses mind control to control Cloud, here everyone gives him what he wants willingly.

The only competent characters are Thanos, Iron Man, and Spider-Man. TBH marvel movie stans should be embarrassed after shilling and meme-ing this for a year.

Movie was a total ki-fest.

Here's a Paola gif because...that's my mood.

(https://66.media.tumblr.com/543681e2babff4f37acbe0de0d357982/tumblr_p2cyhag5St1rt1sw0o1_400.gif)
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: kingv on March 31, 2019, 06:34:14 PM
I don’t think the problem with the MCU is that the movies pander, are predictable, and have mediocre acting.

Theyre really no better or worse than the dumb popcorn flicks we have had for years and years and years.

The real problem with them is that a lot of people Stan for the movies and pretend they are something more than they are. I genuinely enjoy the movies, look forward to seeing them, and enjoy complaining about the dumber aspects of them. I only find them annoying when someone starts talking about how amazing they are.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 31, 2019, 06:43:18 PM
Can't wait for Endgame. Gotta hustle and get those dragonballs.

(https://66.media.tumblr.com/543681e2babff4f37acbe0de0d357982/tumblr_p2cyhag5St1rt1sw0o1_400.gif)

Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Nintex on March 31, 2019, 06:45:50 PM
I don’t think the problem with the MCU is that the movies pander, are predictable, and have mediocre acting.

Theyre really no better or worse than the dumb popcorn flicks we have had for years and years and years.

The real problem with them is that a lot of people Stan for the movies and pretend they are something more than they are. I genuinely enjoy the movies, look forward to seeing them, and enjoy complaining about the dumber aspects of them. I only find them annoying when someone starts talking about how amazing they are.
I enjoy them on a base 'cool action movie' level. Hitting the cinema with friends and watching the latest Marvel slog is good fun.
But except for a few I really liked I keep my expectations low. I'm not expecting these to change my views on cinema or offer a plot twist I didn't see coming from a mile away.
I guess if you don't watch that many movies except for romcoms and cheap blockbusters these films will blow your socks off. I still run into people who haven't seen films such as The Big Lebowski or American Psycho.

Some of my co-workers were actually upset by the the Fury revelation that was snuck into the Captain Marvel film.
"OH WOW, They totally ruined that important character detail". And I'm sitting there like, brehs I love the 90's and Captain Marvel has no ass but that suit fits her well. :heart
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on March 31, 2019, 06:45:53 PM
I don’t think the problem with the MCU is that the movies pander, are predictable, and have mediocre acting.

Theyre really no better or worse than the dumb popcorn flicks we have had for years and years and years.

The real problem with them is that a lot of people Stan for the movies and pretend they are something more than they are. I genuinely enjoy the movies, look forward to seeing them, and enjoy complaining about the dumber aspects of them. I only find them annoying when someone starts talking about how amazing they are.

How dare you compare them to Speed or Die Hard  :doge :sabu
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Mandark on March 31, 2019, 06:59:20 PM
How dare you compare them to Speed 2 or Die Harder  :doge :sabu

See how sample bias can change things.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: HyperZoneWasAwesome on March 31, 2019, 07:07:43 PM
I don't think there's really ever been a good Hollywood fad, otherwise they would have stuck around and become the norm instead of being a passing fad.
Hollywood in the 70's would bankroll just about anything from some highfalutin' artiste (bonus points if they were Italian) until they figured out that Micheal Cimino was just a guy with a great coke connection.

mid-80's Hollywood was so determined to chase those Schwarzenegger and Stallone dollars that they gave careers to Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal among others. Then PG-13 dinosaurs conquered the world and a megabudget on Total Recall didn't make quite as much sense anymore.

But yeah, Superhero flicks are just getting bigger all the time. They're sticking around for a looooong haul. Fecking Aquaman (Aquaman, who until recently was shorthand for 'Lame-Ass Comic Shit') made a billion plus, regrettable 90's relic Venom came close to matching it. Shazam and Del Toro-less Hellboy are on deck and I woulda said they'd be dead in the water but I can't bring myself to predict what if any of these damn things are gonna tank because none have since the last shitty attempt at a Fantastic Four redo. I mean, shit man, like Suicide Squad even made huge bank. I just don't get it maaaaaaan.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Brehvolution on April 01, 2019, 02:05:35 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/9AQpd3x.jpg)
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: team filler on April 01, 2019, 03:35:25 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/HkE6RJP.jpg)
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: naff on April 01, 2019, 06:16:32 PM
"idgi, why are superhero movies so popular"

*watches all the superhero movies, proceeds to make critique of said movies like they're different from all the other people that continually watch these movies despite being luke warm on them

 :doge

i know very few people that are crazy about superhero movies, or even like them that much. nearly everyone i know watches them though. also, Aquaman was so batshit insane i thought it was kinda great. Temuera and Nicole  :hyper

they are a cultural phenomenon. the adventure movie reborn with a god complex. new medium, same phenomenon as the late 30s/40s golden era of comics. maybe it's reductionist/simplistic but it does seem that simple to me.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: VomKriege on April 01, 2019, 08:24:46 PM
The important question is, will the last Stan Lee cameo be in Thanos's rectum ?
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: benjipwns on April 02, 2019, 04:01:08 AM
Westerns could be Deep st least. Most hero flicks are pandering garbage.
The vast, vast majority of Westerns are/were pandering garbage, too, breh. The only genre more pandering than Westerns was war movies that were outright propaganda.
Also, a lot of Westerns were parables or whatever that used the Western setting as framing.

Most infamously, Star Trek was called "Wagon Train to the Stars" because the premise of Wagon Train was that the said Wagon Train would show up somewhere and whatever could happen, it didn't have to be a Western trope because the Wagon Train could be there just for the episode. (Something Star Trek took to the extreme with NAZI PLANET and GANGSTER PLANET.) That's why many of the Westerns had a SHERIFF main character, so he could do crime shit like investigate a murder or bank robbers.

Some of the comic films do this already, Guardians 1 was basically a Star Wars film and 2 wasn't too far removed from that honestly even if it was shitty (so closer to a Star Wars film?), while I make fun of it for the political thriller meme, Winter Soldier still was pretty close to something like a Bourne film. Comic everything hasn't quite reached the saturation point where it's doing this like Westerns were, though some of the TV shows are already there. Arrow had an entire episode set in the corporate boardroom discussing the Queen companies financials and debating the upcoming product line. (I wish.)

To use a modern example, Deadwood is a Western, it uses every single trope of the genre. Many them are literal, not stand-ins for something else. It's still original because, one it's on HBO so it can actually be literal with a lot of the tropes like say, whores, two it has decades worth of ground to mine from everywhere else and bring it into a Western.

There are three "wait I'll give you the stone!" moments in the movie.

Loki doing it for Thor
Gamora for her "sister" (what)
Strange for Stark

At least in FFVII, Sephiroth uses mind control to control Cloud, here everyone gives him what he wants willingly.
One of these is for the deus ex machina in the sequel. The movie even pointed it out.

I'll admit the Loki one was kinda odd honestly. Even for him basically being a hero in these films he both revealed he had the gem and gave it up pretty damn fast.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on April 02, 2019, 04:11:39 PM
"Also, a lot of Westerns were parables or whatever that used the Western setting as framing."

Agreed, but I don't get this from comic movies and I think comic movies are a pretty limited medium for achieving parables if it's based around superheroes. There's so much you can do with a man or woman in a cape. Like you mention Winter Soldier but I mostly just saw a mindless action flick of two former friends fighting and I enjoyed far less than any Bourne or Bond film. You could say the same for Civil War: it's a political thriller about government and registries. Okay but other than that it doesn't connect to me as a parable or even an allegory. It's mostly just an excuse for watching guys beat each other up, and much like the actual Civil War comic it takes an interesting premise and fucks it into the ground. Every single movie you listed has - imo - shoddy delivery and is not up to par.

I can watch a shit ton of samurai and western movies. A movie like Yojimbo or The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly is something I connect with. I enjoyed the stories being told. Comic book movies for the most part, are about shoving as much shit on screen as possible. Westerns, despite their own excesses and pandering pap, are far more intimate. If comics were to act as a parable for anything remotely resembling human life they'd be more Logan and less Infinity War. Modern superhero movies have a big mantra of "more is more" rather than focusing on central stories and a limited cast as seen in imo the best of its genre, The Dark Knight.

So :idont
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on April 02, 2019, 04:16:24 PM
I mean, compare.

https://youtu.be/_Hvc1Ae-YCU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkkF6Zz67TE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6tR78d0cmA

with

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfopLOkNres

It's also a big reason I love Black Panther: it's intimate and focuses on a very limited cast of characters.

Using super hero movies as an example of parables actually made me laugh out loud, Benji. For what? Everything is epic. Everything is big. Far from the loneliness of the Japanese countryside or the American frontier and the lives of the regular folk affected. To show how BAD the storytelling in Infinity War is, when Thanos snaps his fingers you don't see a single non-hero disappear. Not entire populations or anything. Yet it wants me to care that this guy is destroying the galaxy. Shit storytelling, shit movie, arguably shit genre.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on April 02, 2019, 05:09:35 PM
This guy articulates it very well.

https://youtu.be/QYZ2XueXi5A

More hero movies should look to TDK. When TDK raises the stakes it includes the actual city into it. Joker increasingly raises the stakes, but the populace are always involved. When he throws out a bounty to kill the guy that knows about Batman's identity, seemingly random people get involved to try to assassinate him. When Joker threatens the entire city with a threat, everyone tries to leave, many by boat. He rigs both boats with bombs and forces the populace to choose if they want to bomb the other boat. This forces a huge empathetic reaction with the viewer because we can put ourselves in their shoes. Intimacy: probably unwritten rule two or three of good film making.

Now let's look at the Infinity War. They're trying to save the galaxy/universe from someone who can kill half the galaxy with a finger snap, but aside from the flashback with Gamora there's nothing intimate about its storytelling. It's always pushing forward and refuses to sit down with its characters, or even its world/universe. Bad film making 101. Hell, it'd make a bad comic book.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Which it is.
[close]
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Dickie Dee on April 03, 2019, 12:36:59 PM
Now let's look at the Infinity War. They're trying to save the galaxy/universe from someone who can kill half the galaxy with a finger snap, but aside from the flashback with Gamora there's nothing intimate about its storytelling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrQjWr8bKQw

More :stahp in one scene than the entire Batman franchise (which I actually love, btw).

Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on April 03, 2019, 12:53:08 PM
If you think my point is :stahp you’re wrong. A good superhero film doesn’t need to be as depressing as TDK. Kick Ass and Spider-Man 2 (Raimi) are also great examples. When I say intimate, I mean focusing on a small cast of characters, their lives, and the people they care about. It’s a specific focused direction and the conflict is personal. I thought it worked with the original Avengers movie because it focused on five or so characters but eventually they made it the size of where it is now, and it’s just a giant clusterfuck.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: agrajag on April 03, 2019, 01:03:03 PM
Black Panther was as trash as any other Marvel movie  :lol
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: kingv on April 03, 2019, 01:36:47 PM
Black Panther was as trash as any other Marvel movie  :lol

Agreed. It’s the real equality. One day every sub-population in the US will have a mediocre super hero movie to call their own.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on April 03, 2019, 01:47:28 PM
Black Panther was as trash as any other Marvel movie  :lol

Probably! It's hard for me to watch without blinders on.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: agrajag on April 03, 2019, 01:52:00 PM
Regarding the whole intimacy argument. Being a loose adaptation of Infinity Gauntlet storyline, it having a small, intimate cast was an impossible proposition to begin with. On top of that, it's not like any movie with a smallish cast is automatically good.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on April 03, 2019, 01:56:19 PM
Regarding the whole intimacy argument. Being a loose adaptation of Infinity Gauntlet storyline, it having a small, intimate cast was an impossible proposition to begin with. On top of that, it's not like any movie with a smallish cast is automatically good.

Of course. I'm not saying it's automatically good. I simply do not think that the method Marvel studios doles out big epics is conducive to a good epic movie. There's a tonal shift every 5 seconds, characters are underdeveloped, and fight scenes are just all over the place. Surely there's a method to make an epic story and have people care. I care when I watch the original Star Wars trilogy or Lord of the Rings. I do not care while watching Infinity War. Something about it just turns me off. And in my experience, those other movies are more likely to spend personal time with the characters, their worries, and their struggles. Infinity War does no such thing. The only character that earns any sympathy is Thor and arguably Gamora.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: agrajag on April 03, 2019, 01:59:08 PM
imo you're just need to accept those movies for what they are, big budget fan service cash cows. If you turn off your brain, you can enjoy them, but I would say the same about most entertainment  :-[
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Mandark on April 03, 2019, 02:01:29 PM
I think if you made the distinction between "this doesn't work for me" and "people are wrong to enjoy this and it's ruining everything!" it would be good for your blood pressure.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on April 03, 2019, 02:06:17 PM
I do turn off my brain. I still can't enjoy them. I watched TDK for the first time in years a few months ago and it was still amazing. I don't see what's wrong with holding Marvel to a higher standard given they're the biggest movies out now, and the only movies people see with each other at the theater mostly anymore. I could turn my brain off if they had the balls to make the movies story-based but it feels so damn reliant on big battles and special effects more than anything. It's hard to get over a glaring question of "if Thanos wants the rings to destroy half the galaxy why won't he just use his ultimate power to create more resources?" I get the same way with bad comic books. For the record, I hate the actual Infinity War comic as well. I like my super hero comics nice and small in terms of scope. Very rarely do big "event" books work to thrill me. The only comic I like that's "epic" is probably One Piece and Oda has more talent and foresight to build characters up while doing the big epic moments. I just don't enjoy these movies, even on a superficial level. I just don't think they're well made in any sense of the word and it gives me anxiety because of my own creative film aspirations. If this is popular, then why bother?
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on April 03, 2019, 02:06:42 PM
I think if you made the distinction between "this doesn't work for me" and "people are wrong to enjoy this and it's ruining everything!" it would be good for your blood pressure.

That's fair.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Mandark on April 03, 2019, 02:10:06 PM
It's hard to get over a glaring question of "if Thanos wants the rings to destroy half the galaxy why won't he just use his ultimate power to create more resources?"

I've seen a lot of people point this out and the answer is clearly that he's a megalomaniac psycho who's just rationalizing his behavior. I think they gave him enough screen time and Josh Brolin did a good enough job with the voice that a lot of viewers felt we were meant to sympathize somewhat with his viewpoint, but it makes more sense to me if he's a murderous asshole with a messiah complex.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Madrun Badrun on April 03, 2019, 02:11:47 PM
Let's get back to talking about sticking metal rods up pee holes. 
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: agrajag on April 03, 2019, 02:11:59 PM
I mean there's literally people irl who hold similar attitudes as Thanos, but whatevs
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Himu on April 03, 2019, 02:13:28 PM
Also, the frustrating thing is that I actually like Marvel movies of the past like Iron and Avengers. I actually used to regularly go to the movies to see the next big Marvel hit and even I'm tired of them. I simply don't get how anyone could want more, but that's just me.

I also would have less of a problem if studios would stop cribbing from superhero movies. They're fine, in their own bubble, but when it starts affecting the rest of film making...
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: agrajag on April 03, 2019, 02:22:30 PM
Remember before the first IW came out? There were so many discussions of "how are they even going to make a movie with every character getting more than 30 seconds of dialogue?" It was always going to be incredibly difficult to make a movie out of combining every Disney Marvel franchise into one. I'd say the Russo bros did an ok job all things considered. But ultimately, this is what their brand was heading towards from the get go. One massive showdown with all the super heroes from every movie. Imagine the public outcry if they cut half the characters out to make it a more intimate cast.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Joe Molotov on April 03, 2019, 02:44:21 PM
I mean there's literally people irl who hold similar attitudes as Thanos, but whatevs

Who do you relate too more: Thanus or Killmonger?
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: kingv on April 03, 2019, 04:24:15 PM
I used to post on NEOGAF... so probably both.
Title: Re: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding
Post by: Great Rumbler on April 03, 2019, 05:51:59 PM
https://twitter.com/DanGheesling/status/1113545286662742016