THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Rman on July 21, 2019, 01:29:14 PM

Title: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Rman on July 21, 2019, 01:29:14 PM: I'm sure of a lot you are corporate drones, so is the ultimate summit is running the joint. Corporate CEOs these days mostly focus on pleasing their boards than anything else. They're not true managers. There are also small business CEOs, in which business owners are the CEO by default.

Personally, after working with CEOs for quite some time, the job is not for me. Way too much work and pressure. The majority of them have a need to be the top dog. I don't. Corporate CEOs seem to have a great gig (scam lol) going. Get fired and still make millions.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Olivia Wilde Homo on July 21, 2019, 01:34:48 PM: I’m the CEO of banging your mom and business is good 8)
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Rman on July 21, 2019, 01:38:37 PM: LOL.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Himu on July 21, 2019, 01:50:46 PM: How dare you insult me by suggesting I be anything as evil as a CEO.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: toku on July 21, 2019, 02:06:58 PM: next you're gonna ask who wants to be a landlord
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: VomKriege on July 21, 2019, 02:10:12 PM: No. I even have qualms being a foreman.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Kara on July 21, 2019, 02:11:14 PM: As a small business owner I salute my fellow captains of industry. Together we make the system work. :salute

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Poorly, inhumanly, and in an ecocidal manner.
[close]
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: VomKriege on July 21, 2019, 02:12:18 PM: Quote from: Esch on July 21, 2019, 02:02:49 PM
No but all my managers keep saying stuff like "when you become a C*O" and it has me concerned :snoop

A bright young fellow like yourself could become CEO if you used your contacts back home to set up some cost efficient outsourcing !
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: benjipwns on July 21, 2019, 02:16:40 PM: No, a God.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: team filler on July 21, 2019, 02:22:46 PM: Quote from: Kara on July 21, 2019, 02:11:14 PM
As a small business owner I salute my fellow captains of industry. Together we make the system work. :salute

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Poorly, inhumanly, and in an ecocidal manner.
[close]
hire me :-[
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Himu on July 21, 2019, 02:26:24 PM: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/09/13/1-in-5-ceos-are-psychopaths-australian-study-finds/
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: VomKriege on July 21, 2019, 02:27:24 PM: Quote from: Cindi Mayweather on July 21, 2019, 02:26:24 PM

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/09/13/1-in-5-ceos-are-psychopaths-australian-study-finds/

Wonder what the proportion is with journalists ?
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Rman on July 21, 2019, 02:44:25 PM: Quote from: Cindi Mayweather on July 21, 2019, 01:50:46 PM
How dare you insult me by suggesting I be anything as evil as a CEO.
But Iwata :(
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Joe Molotov on July 21, 2019, 03:06:30 PM: Quote from: benjipwns on July 21, 2019, 02:16:40 PM
No, a God.

You’re not God, my father, or my boss.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 21, 2019, 03:06:58 PM: First post nailed it

spoiler (click to show/hide)
get it?
[close]
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: agrajag on July 21, 2019, 03:06:59 PM: you're not my guy, buddy
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: benjipwns on July 21, 2019, 03:27:48 PM: Quote from: Joe Molotov on July 21, 2019, 03:06:30 PM
You’re not God, my father, or my boss.
As my "employee", I have the right to do whatever I want with you, I have the constitutional right to strike you if you disobey me.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'LL FUCK YOU UP JOE, BELIEVE ME, I'LL FUCK YOU UP
[close]
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Nintex on July 21, 2019, 03:43:36 PM: I own a company with 12 employees with 2 other people and I'm technically the COO.
To be fair, there's only one company I'm involved with at the moment that has a cool CEO.

The guy is a Sicilian (don't ask if he's Italian "There's a difference Nintex!"), has a sort of mob boss accent and is cool to hang around with.
His workers tend to be nervous around him (he's their boss of course) and when everyone is seated and we visit to present something he always says: "Nintex, you have the floor".
After which he gives feedback immediately and it becomes a really interactive sort of thing.

It's a shame they are discriminated against in their field of engineering for being Italians.
"They always discriminate us Nintex. They won't say it to our faces, but they don't trust us to do their engineering"
"Especially the English, they're always rude, I don't like them. I like the Dutch you are all so very open and creative"

Otherwise company visits also show fun insights on how a company actually 'works' on the inside or rather doesn't work.
It's always weird to enter these big corporate buildings, end up in a meeting with management and learning that one of the 10 top global business in a certain field is a big mess with people who haven't got the slightest clue of what they are doing.
And the wife/nephew/son with no knowledge of anything has a ton of influence on the whole thing.

Me: "I won't bore you with the fundamentals of SEO but in short we can align your KPI's with analytics data and real-time recordings of your visitors and make improvements based on that data to increase conversion rates"

Director of marketing: "Sorry?"

Me: "KPI's, Key Performance Indicators. In other words, we can align your online marketing with your long term goals and work towards them across all your marketing channels"

CEO: "Goals? How does a website reach a goal?"

Director of marketing: "SEO? That's our Adwords right?"

Me: "[...] A website is like a goldfish. It has an average lifespan of 3 - 5 years before you have to get a new one and if you put it in a bowl and put it on your desk it won't go anywhere and people won't see it unless they walk into your office.
But did you know that goldfish in the wild are much larger and grow much older? In other words, if you give it a bigger environment to flourish and grow that same goldfish can become an important part of your marketing strategy and more people can see and find it. Especially when yours is the biggest in the pond called Google. But you have to take good care of it."

CEO: "Oooh! that's very interesting!"

Director of marketing: *furiously takes notes*

Me: "Now, someone heads to the pond and starts fishing. They're looking for your fish. So how do we get the fish to respond to the bait of the fisherman? How would you train your fish to get ahead of the other fish and bite first? What would you do?"

Director of marketing: "... errmmm ... get more fish so your chances increase?"

CEO: "Tell the fisherman where the fish is?"

Me: "You feed it the same type of bait the fisherman is using! In other words, your content on the website must contain the keywords that your visitors use to find specific products or services."

CEO: "WOW, that's brilliant!"

While a small business owner would ask me how local search differs, if tracking is GDPR proof and how we can better differentiate between global and local search queries.
There's one level worse than big dumb corporations which is massive [redacted] government. That's where you discover the 1% of the world population still using outdated versions of Internet Explorer.
Or better yet, IE11 set in the emulated IE6 mode. :lol
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Tasty on July 21, 2019, 04:02:32 PM: I'd like to run my own business -even if that's just a one-man show- though whether that entails the specific job title in question or not is a matter of linguistic perspective I suppose.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: VomKriege on July 21, 2019, 04:28:08 PM: Freelancing :rejoice
Best of both worlds.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Apart from freaking out because you haven't been called for two weeks.
[close]
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: agrajag on July 21, 2019, 04:37:40 PM: Quote from: Esch on July 21, 2019, 03:48:40 PM
The post above mine, the very idea that Nintex is tasked with management of another human being, is the most damning indictment of capitalism I've ever read on this forum.

OK, people, you heard me loud and clear! I expect 10 pages of fan fiction reports on my desk by noon!
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: benjipwns on July 21, 2019, 04:47:11 PM: Quote from: agrajag on July 21, 2019, 04:37:40 PM
OK, people, you heard me loud and clear! I expect 10 pages of fan fiction reports on my desk by noon!
So you're saying that Nintex shouldn't work himself so hard and hire an editor.

While severely reducing the pay of the other employees to compensate.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: headwalk on July 21, 2019, 05:06:57 PM: Quote from: VomKriege on July 21, 2019, 04:28:08 PM
Freelancing :rejoice
Best of both worlds.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Apart from freaking out because you haven't been called for two weeks.
[close]

i'm off for a few weeks on a surf holiday in my hometown, then off for another few weeks while we take in thailand/malaysia. we've rented out the flat in london out so we basically break even.

once you go freelance, you can't go back.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: T234 on July 21, 2019, 05:15:34 PM: There are no CEOs in my line of work. Simply buyers and sellers. Dudes who proclaim themselves bosses either die or go up the river forever.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: nudemacusers on July 21, 2019, 05:19:03 PM: Either I become a ceo-type eventually (I guess an equivalent would be division director) or I get fired :doge
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: VomKriege on July 21, 2019, 05:25:45 PM: Mupepe option.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Transhuman on July 21, 2019, 05:44:47 PM: Quote from: T234 on July 21, 2019, 05:15:34 PM
There are no CEOs in my line of work. Simply buyers and sellers. Dudes who proclaim themselves bosses either die or go up the river forever.

Pimp or dealer?
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: T234 on July 21, 2019, 05:50:59 PM: Quote from: Transhuman on July 21, 2019, 05:44:47 PM
Quote from: T234 on July 21, 2019, 05:15:34 PM
There are no CEOs in my line of work. Simply buyers and sellers. Dudes who proclaim themselves bosses either die or go up the river forever.

Pimp or dealer?

That's for me to know and you to not.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Himu on July 21, 2019, 06:08:35 PM: Quote from: T234 on July 21, 2019, 05:15:34 PM
There are no CEOs in my line of work. Simply buyers and sellers. Dudes who proclaim themselves bosses either die or go up the river forever.

You're still in the gangster/drug biz??
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Nintex on July 21, 2019, 06:40:14 PM: Quote from: T234 on July 21, 2019, 05:15:34 PM
There are no CEOs in my line of work. Simply buyers and sellers. Dudes who proclaim themselves bosses either die or go up the river forever.
Any cool stories from working at Microsoft?
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Crash Dummy on July 22, 2019, 12:23:15 PM: eh, i'll tap out at senior vp for tax, possibly cfo
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: TakingBackSunday on July 22, 2019, 12:40:48 PM: Hell no. I would never want to have to report to a bunch of shareholders directly
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Nabbis on July 22, 2019, 01:44:01 PM: Well, no. But i would accept the job should it be offered for enough $$$.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Kara on July 22, 2019, 03:07:54 PM: Quote from: filler on July 21, 2019, 02:22:46 PM
Quote from: Kara on July 21, 2019, 02:11:14 PM
As a small business owner I salute my fellow captains of industry. Together we make the system work. :salute

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Poorly, inhumanly, and in an ecocidal manner.
[close]
hire me :-[

I only do joint ventures 50-50.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
(Or pro rata shares if more than 2.)
[close]

https://youtu.be/tcovyF8j50g
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Rman on July 22, 2019, 10:30:21 PM: One of my former boss's boss just became CEO. It was announced today. Pretty nuts considering this thread.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: bluemax on July 23, 2019, 01:19:58 AM: Almost every CEO I've worked for in the games industry was some kind of nut job. So really I'm just wondering how they got the money to piss away on making bad games and how do I get in on that.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: BIONIC on July 23, 2019, 01:44:45 AM: Quote from: Rman on July 22, 2019, 10:30:21 PM
One of my former boss's boss just became CEO. It was announced today. Pretty nuts considering this thread.

Stay safe.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: brawndolicious on July 23, 2019, 02:40:24 AM: For a public company? Probably not as it seems to be a pointless job where you're only accomplishments that count are making the company bigger/stupider/leaner.

Would definitely love to be a founder though.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: kingv on July 23, 2019, 03:32:50 AM: Quote from: brawndolicious on July 23, 2019, 02:40:24 AM
For a public company? Probably not as it seems to be a pointless job where you're only accomplishments that count are making the company bigger/stupider/leaner.

Would definitely love to be a founder though.

Agree with this. Whole point of it is just to do financial engineering to boost your share price.

I used to want to climb the corporate ladder as high as I can, but recent family health scares made me rethink my priorities. I’m still driven, but only to a point. I realize I make enough to be comfortable today, and obviously I’d like to make more, but not really at the expense of balancing health and time with family.
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 23, 2019, 10:42:04 AM: god no
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: nudemacusers on July 23, 2019, 11:07:23 AM: https://youtu.be/N6kYRGs-9j0
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Huff on July 23, 2019, 11:21:47 AM: I just want to reach FU money status
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on July 23, 2019, 05:42:19 PM: 1) I'll never make it. It involves too much butt kissing for me.
2) I'll never make it. I have some morals still left
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: I'm a Puppy! on July 25, 2019, 02:44:25 AM: Hrmmm maybe then I DO want to be a ceo
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Tasty on July 25, 2019, 08:05:43 AM: Stroke me baby, I'm the CEO :noah
Title: Re: Do you cretins aspire to be a CEO?
Post by: Boogie on July 25, 2019, 10:16:42 AM: I think my post history on the Bore alone precludes me from ever having a shot at the big chair in my
organization. :P