THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 11:48:32 AM

Title: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 11:48:32 AM: I bought prescription-only antiemetics from some weird auction site. It's like ebay but it definitely looks like the web developer came out of a 4 week bootcamp from Devry University. And then got put into the remedial class after failing. We're talking someone who took half of the Udemy course, thought it was too hard, then went on Newgrounds to one of those "Learn Javascript" games dressed up as an RPG where you battle monsters with if statements. We're talking Under Construction signs at the checkout page. We're talking a FAQ that says "We are not responsible if you get scammed because we just made a website, and have no part of this shit. Free Ross Ulbricht." Anyway, I needed a particular kind of medication and I didn't want to deal with going to the doctor and having to explain that I don't want the one that increases breast milk production , and then him saying 'it's just a little prolactin. It's just a little titty milk. Ain't nobody got hurt over a little titty juice." I don't want to have to negotiate with the dr about milky tits at this point in my life. The one I need is very strong - it's used for chemo patients and it's not the first antiemetic a doctor issues out. I just didn't want to deal with the process of explaining this shit. The guy i bought it from immediately took down all his listings upon purchase, goes by like 3 different names: his e-mail, paypal, and auction site name are all different first and last names, writes LIKE THIS DO U NEED ANYTHNG ELSE ILETME KNOW IF IT SHIPPED I SHIOPPED IT OUT POST HASTE. He used the word post haste, which reassured me for some reason - like, "oh this guy reads books he can't steal my money." But all he sells is dickpills and burn cream, so i was immediately disinclined from that reasoning. After awhile, I thought I got scammed, but apparently it just showed up in the USPS tracking yesterday after he had been sitting on a printed shipping label for 4 days. This morning I got a call from USPS' 1800 number. I didn't pick up because I don't pick up 1800 numbers...and only learned it was USPS after googling it. It's not like this is a scheduled drug or something you can get high off of. Am I in trouble?

TLDR: Answer whichever question comes first/makes the other one moot: Are they going to call me Puke Boy in the pen while i get a big 'ol dick in my ass? Or, what's the worst that can happen to me?
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Don Rumata on October 22, 2019, 11:53:08 AM: Quote from: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 11:48:32 AM
what's the worst that can happen to me?
Boiling water + sugar to the face, is the worse i can think of.
But if even Amir0x only got pissed on, i think you're safe. :doge
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:02:31 PM: i should have just found one of those doctors that only takes bitcoin. why am i so fucking stupid. and now the cruel irony is i need those pills for the nausea this anxiety is giving me. its the ultimate catch 22. its kafkaesque whatever tha tmeans
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 22, 2019, 12:03:12 PM: https://www.amazon.com/Passion-Lubes-Natural-Water-Based-Lubricant/dp/B005MR3IVO
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Ghoul on October 22, 2019, 12:05:12 PM: Just call em back and be like, hey I want my pills before my prison dick. Thanks!
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:05:40 PM: Quote from: Ghoul on October 22, 2019, 12:05:12 PM
Just call em back and be like, hey I want my pills before my prison dick. Thanks!

I did. it's literally impossible to get a human on the phone through their 1800 number. So i called my local post office and they didn't know anything about it. If im going to get a dick in my ass, im gonna need those pills. there better be a grace period between me getting the package to swallow some of those pills and them putting cuffs on me. this is seriously getting kafkaesque
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Uncle on October 22, 2019, 12:07:08 PM: what's wrong with milky tits you can sell that shit like belle delphine
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: skullstorm on October 22, 2019, 12:08:32 PM: Just show them this thread, you'll be fine.

Puke Boy
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:10:25 PM: Quote from: Uncle on October 22, 2019, 12:07:08 PM
what's wrong with milky tits you can sell that shit like belle delphine

It's really because domperidone takes too long to work and has serious cardiac side-effects, and heart problems run in my family. The prolactin production is just adding insult to injury. plus if i needed money that bad, i could just ask my mom for some gamer milk any time i want. I work for a living, im not a lowlife.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:10:57 PM: Quote from: skullstorm on October 22, 2019, 12:08:32 PM
Just show them this thread, you'll be fine.

Puke Boy

If USPS read The Bore, I was going to go to jail a long time ago.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: porkbun on October 22, 2019, 12:14:11 PM: If it's coming from overseas, they just might need you to come down and sign for it. When I get stuff from Aliexpress, half the time that's what happens.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:17:33 PM: Quote from: porkbun on October 22, 2019, 12:14:11 PM
If it's coming from overseas, they just might need you to come down and sign for it. When I get stuff from Aliexpress, half the time that's what happens.

It's domestic.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: skullstorm on October 22, 2019, 12:18:41 PM: Quote from: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:10:25 PM
It's really because domperidone takes too long to work

Well have you tried Dom Perignon instead? :rimshot
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:21:53 PM: ahhh the french
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:30:40 PM: Quote from: shosta on October 22, 2019, 12:23:36 PM
Wtf you need antiemetics for?

I've been unable to put food down from major nausea. This happened to me last year around the same time. I went to the doctor, and after awhile this medication seemed to work. At the time, he had no idea what it was, since nausea or gastro issues could be a symptom of anything - from stress, to some autoimmune disease or cancer. I was advised to take the antiemetics and he would monitor me..it eventually went away. That doctor retired and I don't have the energy to go back to the doctor and explain this again. Obviously, I realize how ridiculous and irresponsible this is. I'll go back if it persists for another week.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: EightBitNate on October 22, 2019, 12:36:49 PM: your story got progressively lamer as it went on lol

It is kinda weird that UPS called you directly. That’s never happened to me.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 22, 2019, 12:39:10 PM: How would the USPS even know your number (unless you're signed up for some kind of tracking alert thing)? Maybe they just called to see if you wanted to buy some Elf on the Shelf stamps.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:39:55 PM: Quote from: EightBitNate on October 22, 2019, 12:36:49 PM
your story got progressively lamer as it went on lol

It is kinda weird that UPS called you directly. That’s never happened to me.

im sorry i didn't scaffold this experience in the form of a Choose Your Own Adventure story, nate. im gonna make this up to you one day
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:45:25 PM: Quote from: Joe Molotov on October 22, 2019, 12:39:10 PM
How would the USPS even know your number (unless you're signed up for some kind of tracking alert thing)? Maybe they just called to see if you wanted to buy some Elf on the Shelf stamps.

I'm not sure. They called my cell, which is private. I provided that number to Truegether (the site I used) for my account. I wonder if the seller had to include that information when he shipped out the package? I hope they don't suspect any illegal activity, I'm not a scumbag. That's the problem with this country, they treat you like a criminal when all you want is a little help. Elf on the Shelf stamps? Oh, I don't need that: I have a custom built print-press that I use to counterfeit stamps when I need to send out my mail. You can save at least $10 a year doing this.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Uncle on October 22, 2019, 12:47:29 PM: Quote from: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:45:25 PM
I'm not sure. They called my cell, which is private.

why are you worried about going to jail when you're already in a private cell
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: EightBitNate on October 22, 2019, 12:50:49 PM: Quote from: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:39:55 PM
Quote from: EightBitNate on October 22, 2019, 12:36:49 PM
your story got progressively lamer as it went on lol

It is kinda weird that UPS called you directly. That’s never happened to me.

im sorry i didn't scaffold this experience in the form of a Choose Your Own Adventure story, nate. im gonna make this up to you one day

Lol I get it. I freak out over small stuff all the time.

Don’t you think one of the federal agencies would contact you first? Just a thought. Walmart doesn’t call your phone when they see you shoplift.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:54:07 PM: Quote from: EightBitNate on October 22, 2019, 12:50:49 PM
Quote from: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:39:55 PM
Quote from: EightBitNate on October 22, 2019, 12:36:49 PM
your story got progressively lamer as it went on lol

It is kinda weird that UPS called you directly. That’s never happened to me.

im sorry i didn't scaffold this experience in the form of a Choose Your Own Adventure story, nate. im gonna make this up to you one day

Lol I get it. I freak out over small stuff all the time.

Don’t you think one of the federal agencies would contact you first? Just a thought. Walmart doesn’t call your phone when they see you shoplift.

I genuinely don't know how it works. The USPS is a federal agency in itself, I'd think it wouldn't seem out of the ordinary for them to contact me directly if they found a suspicious package. Maybe it is? Not sure. I've never received a call from USPS in my life - that they called me now seems directly related to an issue with the package itself.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: BIONIC on October 22, 2019, 12:58:48 PM: Quote from: Uncle on October 22, 2019, 12:47:29 PM
Quote from: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:45:25 PM
I'm not sure. They called my cell, which is private.

why are you worried about going to jail when you're already in a private cell

:rodney
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Raist on October 22, 2019, 01:07:37 PM: If USPS tried to contact you, not the FBI, I'm gonna guess you're fine.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Still reporting you to the feds tho, just to be sure.
[close]
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: EightBitNate on October 22, 2019, 01:09:58 PM: Oh USPS, not UPS

Yeah even then I doubt it. You’d have someone at your door, not a phone call.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 01:12:23 PM: Quote from: Raist on October 22, 2019, 01:07:37 PM
If USPS tried to contact you, not the FBI, I'm gonna guess you're fine.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Still reporting you to the feds tho, just to be sure.
[close]

I have a few friends on the inside. I don't think you want to do that. But, sure, go ahead.

(https://imgur.com/BrBzm0q.jpg)
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 01:13:38 PM: Quote from: EightBitNate on October 22, 2019, 01:09:58 PM
Oh USPS, not UPS

Yeah even then I doubt it. You’d have someone at your door, not a phone call.

Hope so. Yeah, I'm gonna take a breather and get back to work. This thread doesn't exist. It never happened.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Great Rumbler on October 22, 2019, 01:14:08 PM: I'd be more concerned that the medication is fake, to be honest.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: thisismyusername on October 22, 2019, 05:11:31 PM: >Going through all this trouble
>to avoid bitch tits
>and talking to a doctor

You deserve the sawdust pills that are in the USPS facility and causing you to freak out, breh.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Ghoul on October 22, 2019, 05:30:41 PM: I mean if we grass him up we can maybe stop all these damn outages with the money we make...

Just an idea here.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: nudemacusers on October 22, 2019, 06:13:51 PM: Quote from: Ghoul on October 22, 2019, 05:30:41 PM
I mean if we grass him up we can maybe stop all these damn outages with the money we make...

Just an idea here.
Think of how much we could make if we monetize OP’s milky boi tits :drool
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Ghoul on October 22, 2019, 06:16:01 PM: :phil
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 06:51:44 PM: Quote from: nudemacusers on October 22, 2019, 06:13:51 PM
Quote from: Ghoul on October 22, 2019, 05:30:41 PM
I mean if we grass him up we can maybe stop all these damn outages with the money we make...

Just an idea here.
Think of how much we could make if we monetize OP’s milky boi tits :drool

Am I just a pair of tits to you assholes?
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Akala on October 22, 2019, 06:54:08 PM: not yet
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Potato on October 22, 2019, 07:26:34 PM: I read that whole OP and now I hope you go to prison.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: team filler on October 22, 2019, 07:33:20 PM: enjoy the rape! ;)
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: bluemax on October 23, 2019, 12:55:35 AM: Quote from: Propagandhim on October 22, 2019, 12:02:31 PM
i should have just found one of those doctors that only takes bitcoin. why am i so fucking stupid. and now the cruel irony is i need those pills for the nausea this anxiety is giving me. its the ultimate catch 22. its kafkaesque whatever tha tmeans

Bitcoin is how all the pedos and dark web types are getting busted.
Title: Re: am i goin to the big house (the slammer, da joint, the 'ol sing sing)?
Post by: Huff on October 23, 2019, 06:15:49 AM: No your not going to go to jail for nausea medicine dummy