THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Shostakovich on January 25, 2020, 01:54:07 AM
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(https://news.cornell.edu/sites/chronicle.cornell/files/crow460_0.jpg?itok=A59_JshH)
Corvus moneduloides, the New Caledonian Crow, is a species of crow endemic only to the island of New Caledonia, just north of Australia and New Zealand. They have recently become famous for their intelligence and tool-making. NC Crows display several high level cognitive functions that very few other animals possess, such as causal reasoning, long term planning, multi-step problem solving, spontaneous ad-hoc tool-making, and compound tool-making. These functions are rare enough, but in a non-mammal species, and one as small as the NC Crow, they are almost unheard of. Moreover, their technological development is evidence of a primitive culture. NC Crows teach their young how to use and manufacture their tools through something that can only be described as primitive school. This species has reached a veritable inflection point in their evolution. They are the Homo Erectus of birds.
My goal is to selectively breed these animals in secret until they rival human intelligence. In the science fiction literature, this is also known as "uplifting" a species. My gentle guiding hand will help them develop advanced technology, language, and culture. I will also increase their total body size so that they can manipulate large objects and defend themselves. On a large enough ranch I estimate I can do this in about fifteen generations given their current level of neurological sophistication.
(https://www.washington.edu/alumni/images/partnerships/cfraa/201104marzluff2_large.jpg)
Why these particular animals instead of the many other high intelligence species? This one was carefully selected for a number of reasons. Chimpanzees and other large apes are seriously dangerous to work with. Whales and dolphins are obviously too large and they don't possess any way to manipulate the world around them. The humble crow by comparison is a small animal and can be enlargened to the size of a small dog. A mere doubling in skull length would increase their brain volume by eight times (this is just simple dimensional analysis). At that size they should still be able to fly but they'd have the neuron count of a human. Their general compactness but high intelligence, mobility, and satisfactory object manipulation skills would make them an incredible companion species on Earth.
But what about other corvids? Ravens in particular have a frontal lobe comparable to other great apes and are in no short supply in the United States. The American Crow is similarly intelligent. Sadly, the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918 protects hundreds of native bird species from capture or containment, domestic crow species included. Since foreign birds are not covered under this law, a private NC Crow reservation, once suitably established, would be a perfectly legal operation. There's one issue: as a safeguard against invasive species, you are only legally allowed to import two birds a year. That is why I need to circumvent the law and am asking for advice.
(https://www.realtree.com/sites/default/files/styles/site_large/public/content/inserts/cmaciejolszewski-shutterstock-turkey-crow-2.jpg?itok=Hl0P8NHr)
Am I wrong to want to advance another species? In fact, I am doing them a favor. Humanity is not likely to resolve climate change any time soon but New Caledonia could be over 2/3rds underwater by the end of the century. We could be eradicating the next sentient species just before they reach escape velocity. It is our duty to save them. The Mantle of Responsibility.
I am neither rich, nor an animal behaviorologist, nor a corvid expert, nor a functioning adult that pays his own rent, so this will require a lot of outside expertise. That is why I need your help. With a little startup capital crowdsourced from all of you, I can succeed in getting a small business loan from Wells Fargo.
I will now be taking questions.
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bernie will legalize it
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I feel like this is something John McAfee might actually know about.
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Crows are fuckers, let’s do a cool animal instead.
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Are they really cooler than pigeons? Pigeons will eat anything. They’re like goats! I see them eating cigarette butts and ashes and pieces of garbage. Half of them are missing most of their toes because kids probably throw fire crackers at them. They’re so stupid that they keep coming back even when you’re an asshole to them. I nudged one with my foot once and it didn’t even bother to react. It was the second dumbest wild animal I have ever encountered.
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so basically what you're saying is that you're too much of a pussy to fight benji mano a mano so you're going to spend 15-generations to raise an army of superbirds to do your bidding? i'm okay with this
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You ever see Cria Cuervos stosta? It’s pretty awesome.
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that film and spirit of the beehive made me cry like a little bitch
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Yeah I like Spirit of the Beehive even more. That’s been a fave of mine for a while now.
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#ranchgoals
(https://i.imgur.com/olFghjU.jpg)
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I feel like this is something John McAfee might actually know about.
"I tried to create an intelligence flock of fire hawks and before I knew it all of Australia was on fire and one of them had cheated on my wife and stole all my drugs.
Still I can't put the blame on them or her those animals learned from the best"
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Should have made a thread about illegally importing a cool bird, like shoebills:
(https://i.imgur.com/3LYjnqK.jpg)
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My wife swears all the crows in the entire region know her and talk to her.
I’m thinking of putting her in a home.
Do they give her gifts daily? Because if so, that proves her right.
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Then it proves her right. Crows are pretty intelligent birds (but they're still birds, so they can do stupid shit obviously). Not as like Intelligent as Dolphins or Humans, but pretty near-the-top for birds and they're able to do some pretty impressive things as animals go.
If Ravens didn't shit everywhere, I'd probably get a Raven. Huge-ass Crow in a sense.
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Mad respect for the whole corvidae family
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... that’s a pretty dope idea I might just steal and fill it with feeder goldies from the pet shop lol
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Riotous is a mafia hitman? :o