THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Van Cruncheon on July 08, 2020, 09:35:25 PM

Title: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 08, 2020, 09:35:25 PM
it's my brat's 16th birthday. now i reflect on my parental scoring (rubric not provided):

positive fathering scores:
- kid loathes and trolls libertarians (+50)
- kid rides a scooter instead of a car (+10)
- kid hates incels (+25)
- kid is a flaming lesbian (+10)
- kid thinks jk rowling is "stank-ass goblin poop" (+10)
- kid is an atheist but not obnoxiously so (+20)
- kid thinks i'm lame and dumb (+50)
- kid hates animal crossing (+20)
total: 195 pts


negative fathering scores:
- kid is a weeb (-200)
- kid likes nintendo products overall (-500)
- kid prefers android over iphone (-10)
- kid likes nightcore (-200)
- kid posts on reddit (-50)
- kid doesn't fully grasp marxist theory yet (-25)
- kid thinks weed is "gross" (-50)
total: -1035

overall drinky parenting evaluation: -840 (dumpster dad, shoot on sight despite white privilege)

happy 16th, brat! if i posted this on r/cursedcomments you'd actually see it and then tell me to "go back to facebook with the disgusting olds"


Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: james on July 08, 2020, 09:37:10 PM
Quote
kid likes nintendo products

:pika
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Mandark on July 08, 2020, 09:38:13 PM
I remember when you said your wife was pregnant on #ga.

What the fuck we're old.
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 08, 2020, 09:40:19 PM
we're fuckin' decrepit! all we have is the scars and shame of our interwebs livin'
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: jakefromstatefarm on July 08, 2020, 09:42:19 PM
lmao, didnt realize it was today 🤣. happy birthday shosta!!
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: EchoRin on July 08, 2020, 09:42:24 PM
https://youtu.be/Rx9xm7Up9Y0
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Joe Molotov on July 08, 2020, 09:44:47 PM
The Bore is a safe space for disgusting olds who can't handle Facebook.
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Himu on July 08, 2020, 09:46:03 PM
I feel old
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Great Rumbler on July 08, 2020, 09:50:17 PM
Quote
- kid loathes and trolls libertarians (+50)
- kid hates incels (+25)
- kid is a flaming lesbian (+10)

:juche

Quote
- kid is a weeb (-200)
- kid likes nintendo products overall (-500)
- kid doesn't fully grasp marxist theory yet (-25)

:juchesad
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: james on July 08, 2020, 09:53:48 PM
Is OP really drinky of drink crow fame?
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Mandark on July 08, 2020, 09:54:46 PM
Is OP really drinky of drink crow fame?

You're thinking of Professor Prole.

This is Castellan.
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: nudemacusers on July 08, 2020, 09:56:17 PM
Weeb and nightcore should net more negative points imo
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: james on July 08, 2020, 09:56:52 PM
Is OP really drinky of drink crow fame?

You're thinking of Professor Prole.

This is Castellan.

 ??? ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 08, 2020, 10:02:50 PM
everyone knows drinky crow was andrew vestal, duhhh
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: CatsCatsCats on July 08, 2020, 10:05:56 PM
Have loved seeing your fatherly wisdoms and follies over the years on the bookface, you gotta a lot of heart for an old special fellow  :-*
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 08, 2020, 10:06:31 PM
Nightcore :rejoice

i used to think you were cool /

now you're just a giant dad

- "giant dad", (c) 2018 taylor swift
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 08, 2020, 10:08:53 PM
Have loved seeing your fatherly wisdoms and follies over the years on the bookface, you gotta a lot of heart for an old special fellow  :-*

don't you dare make this old special fellow catch feels

spoiler (click to show/hide)
awwwwww, thank you and #blessup <snif> :-*
[close]

spoiler (click to show/hide)
also reeeeeeeeeeeee
[close]
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: james on July 08, 2020, 10:09:47 PM
...wait my female cousin turned 16 today

Are you in the 559?

Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: nudemacusers on July 08, 2020, 10:09:49 PM
Nightcore  :nope

Gothic nightcore :larry

Gothic nightstep :leon
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 08, 2020, 10:12:34 PM
I feel old

think of it as finally growing into your natural crankiness
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 08, 2020, 10:13:36 PM
...wait my female cousin turned 16 today

Are you in the 559?



nope, the 425. SEATTLE SHAT PACK REPRESENT, ACAB
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: nudemacusers on July 08, 2020, 10:18:42 PM
Claim Seattle but be from the Lewis County boonies  :kermit
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 08, 2020, 10:20:27 PM
i will never deny my trailer park origins you gentrified breeder
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: thisismyusername on July 08, 2020, 10:21:29 PM
Go back to Facebook with the disgusting olds, dad.
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Himu on July 08, 2020, 10:22:25 PM
I feel old

think of it as finally growing into your natural crankiness

Is life well and are you guys safe
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 08, 2020, 10:23:26 PM
you want your child to understand marxist theory but also reject nightcore. this contradiction is an antagonistic one. (https://m.youtube.com/user/StormAce96)

in autism, all things are possible*




*except basic self-regulation
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: nudemacusers on July 08, 2020, 10:23:31 PM
i will never deny my trailer park origins you gentrified breeder
this post getting a moblin like is highly offensive tbh
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 08, 2020, 10:24:26 PM
I feel old

think of it as finally growing into your natural crankiness

Is life well and are you guys safe

life is tolerable and that's all i aim for. the kid is extroverted so she is not likin' this lockdown at ALL tho
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: pilonv1 on July 08, 2020, 10:28:52 PM
lol banned
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Akala on July 08, 2020, 10:33:04 PM
good job not leaving her in a car for too long
Title: And I thought my music taste was bad
Post by: Tasty on July 08, 2020, 10:36:08 PM
Nightcore :jeanluc
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: brawndolicious on July 08, 2020, 10:37:49 PM
Nightcore occassionally comes up in some of my spotify algo playlists..........
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: ToxicAdam on July 08, 2020, 10:40:14 PM
Ok, we get it. You had sex almost 17 years ago. No need to rub it in our faces.

Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: nudemacusers on July 08, 2020, 10:40:29 PM
good job not leaving her in a car for too long

Quote
- kid is a weeb (-200)
- kid likes nintendo products overall (-500)

This child clearly overheated at least once in their life..
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: CatsCatsCats on July 08, 2020, 10:43:43 PM
I full stop don’t even know what nightcore is, will probably have to put that into metacrawler or something
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Transhuman on July 08, 2020, 10:52:30 PM
Weeb as in Miyazaki or weeb as in bodypillow?
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: EchoRin on July 08, 2020, 10:53:25 PM
Nightcore and happy hardcore are meme music. I have never in my life met someone who listens to it unironically. the levels of brain activity this would require are beyond our understanding.

Oh man. If you are ever in central Europe. Fucking "Scooter" man. That shit I swear was pushed hard on that region from like 1995 to 2010. God damned Germans.
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Tasty on July 08, 2020, 10:57:53 PM
I full stop don’t even know what nightcore is, will probably have to put that into metacrawler or something

It's normal songs pitched higher...
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: CatsCatsCats on July 08, 2020, 11:03:08 PM
So is the Bernie girl okay boomer song nightcore?
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Oblivion on July 08, 2020, 11:03:24 PM
- kid likes nintendo products overall (-500)


should never have let her play "the space game" (mario galaxy) all those years ago  :doge
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: jakefromstatefarm on July 08, 2020, 11:06:00 PM
i thought miyazaki didnt count as weeb. am i out of touch? is it good that i dont know this?
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: G The Resurrected on July 08, 2020, 11:09:34 PM
Congrats your progeny has yet to let their frustrations from your failures as a father ruin them. 16 is a great time to start resenting you as human being and begin the process of becoming their own adult with complicated issues. Good luck with that! I'm joshing, tell your kid Happy Birthday from a Dude on the internet. You've done a good job if you got this far without fucking things up too bad.

Thank god forums seem to be so uncool to kids nowadays. Leaves us all a place we can still go on the internet to bitch and moan amongst ourselves.
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Oblivion on July 08, 2020, 11:09:44 PM
i thought miyazaki didnt count as weeb. am i out of touch? is it good that i dont know this?

i believe, technically he's a weeb that hates weebs

so a bit of a special case
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Rman on July 08, 2020, 11:13:13 PM
everyone knows drinky crow was andrew vestal, duhhh
LOL.

I love this gag.
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Mandark on July 08, 2020, 11:13:40 PM
So is the Bernie girl okay boomer song nightcore?

nothing's been right since that video
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Steve Contra on July 08, 2020, 11:15:10 PM
die already

spoiler (click to show/hide)
you, your kid seems cool
[close]
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: naff on July 08, 2020, 11:20:20 PM
- kid thinks weed is "gross" (-50)

does she drink monster tho?
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Positive Touch on July 08, 2020, 11:29:56 PM
wow feels like almost 10 years ago you were posting your 6 year old playing pokemon
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Rufus on July 09, 2020, 12:26:50 AM
Nightcore and happy hardcore are meme music. I have never in my life met someone who listens to it unironically. the levels of brain activity this would require are beyond our understanding.

Oh man. If you are ever in central Europe. Fucking "Scooter" man. That shit I swear was pushed hard on that region from like 1995 to 2010. God damned Germans.
How much is the fish, indeed.
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Tuckers Law on July 09, 2020, 01:14:30 AM
i thought miyazaki didnt count as weeb. am i out of touch? is it good that i dont know this?

i believe, technically he's a weeb that hates weebs

so a bit of a special case

(https://i.redd.it/cr20qzq1v1w21.jpg)
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: T-Short on July 09, 2020, 02:51:08 AM
Congrats!  :heart

(http://www.capitaltrachea.se/misc/bronycrow.gif)
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Himu on July 09, 2020, 03:24:26 AM
Forgot to say happy birthday :heartbeat
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Brehvolution on July 09, 2020, 09:50:00 AM
Happy Birthday to her. Bring her on The Cruncheons next podcast.
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Human Snorenado on July 09, 2020, 09:55:07 AM
LOL U OLD AF THO

Happy birthday Cruncheon spawn, keep trollin dad
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Cerveza mas fina on July 09, 2020, 11:53:11 AM
Gz

This means you are close to retirement now?
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: MMaRsu on July 09, 2020, 12:25:17 PM
Wow gg happy bd for the kiddo

When does he become a bore member
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Great Rumbler on July 09, 2020, 12:46:57 PM
When does he become a bore member

 :comeon
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: MMaRsu on July 09, 2020, 12:49:19 PM
When does he become a bore member

 :comeon

Sorry I just got home and didnt read all of the op

When does she become a bore member :P
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Transhuman on July 09, 2020, 01:34:03 PM
I feel like you just answered your own question
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: james on July 09, 2020, 02:36:30 PM
My cousin who also turned 16 posted her bday pics on Instagram and holy shit having a sweet 16 with just immediate family is depressing as fuck.

Hope your kid is mentally ok
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 09, 2020, 04:45:43 PM
she's aight. frustrated, pensive, and moody as hell but still within typical shitty teen parameters. if she starts playing visual novels or yandere sim i'll take that as a cry for help
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: BlackMage on July 10, 2020, 12:34:35 AM
My wife is pregnant. Our baby is due in January. It’s gonna be just like me  :-* :-*
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: thisismyusername on July 10, 2020, 12:36:48 AM
My cousin who also turned 16 posted her bday pics on Instagram and holy shit having a sweet 16 with just immediate family is depressing as fuck.

Hope your kid is mentally ok

Give me your daughter's Steam ID so I can buy her Persona 4.
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: team filler on July 10, 2020, 12:42:26 AM
My wife is pregnant. Our baby is due in January. It’s gonna be just like me  :-* :-*
how was the gender reveal party?
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: EchoRin on July 10, 2020, 12:48:24 AM
We have post 9/11 babies. Now we cut that off and have post Covid babies.

I use "we" as in the royal "we".
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Madrun Badrun on July 10, 2020, 09:46:00 AM
It feels weird that you came to the Bore, a place, and people, that you have essentially abandoned to talk up your child.  Like going back to the orphanage to brag about making the correct choice to the unselected.  Happy birthday to the winner, I guess. 
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on July 11, 2020, 12:07:49 AM
never left! i've always been here, my mans.
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Steve Contra on July 11, 2020, 12:56:09 AM
You left our hearts because, quite frankly, we hate you

spoiler (click to show/hide)
And ourselves  :'(
[close]
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: team filler on July 11, 2020, 05:34:29 AM
never left! i've always been here, my mans.
if you're not going to post more, throw some likes to the less fortunate  :trumps
Title: Re: drinky's kid is 16 today!
Post by: Madrun Badrun on July 11, 2020, 03:12:03 PM
never left! i've always been here, my mans.

Then why do I feel this primal need to tell you that Mom and me are doing just fine without you and then run up the stairs to cry in my room?