THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: futami on February 01, 2007, 10:49:11 PM

Title: New Poem: I see you
Post by: futami on February 01, 2007, 10:49:11 PM
wiping away the greying mist

i determinedly peered ahead

towards two prying brown eyes

staring back with sullen dread

at a dull and rough facade

behind which now meekly hides

a once close friend of ours

I convinced myself had died

That dark and shameful piece of me

i left years back to rot

when a fresh identity

a new reflection

was all i really sought

but he still lives

neither close nor very far

with a mocking tone, he whispers one question

"Do you now know who you are?"
----------------------------------------------


thoughts?....thnx
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Flannel Boy on February 01, 2007, 10:52:37 PM
wiping away the greying cum

i determinedly peered ahead

towards one prying brown eye

staring back with sullen dread

Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: bagofeyes on February 01, 2007, 10:54:18 PM
Pretty shit
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Vizzys on February 01, 2007, 10:55:22 PM
Who did you steal this one from?
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: futami on February 01, 2007, 10:56:55 PM
Who did you steal this one from?

why would you assume i stole it from anyone?
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Van Cruncheon on February 01, 2007, 10:58:13 PM
that's viz' eskimo way of saying black people only steal things
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Vizzys on February 01, 2007, 10:59:42 PM
that's viz' eskimo way of saying black people only steal things
Everyone knows I'm a racist.
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Flannel Boy on February 01, 2007, 11:00:10 PM
Futami pays for his jeans!  >:(
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Van Cruncheon on February 01, 2007, 11:00:21 PM
Viz: the "racist" epithet we've given you doesn't bear repeating, but the "kinda dumb" one needs more air time

EDITED FOR MALEK'S READING COMPREHENSION
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Flannel Boy on February 01, 2007, 11:01:34 PM
the racist epithet doesn't bear repeating, but the "kinda dumb" one needs more air time
???
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Diablos on February 01, 2007, 11:12:55 PM
wiping away the greying mist

i determinedly peered ahead

towards two prying brown eyes

staring back with sullen dread

at a dull and rough facade

behind which now meekly hides

a once close friend of ours

I convinced myself had died

That dark and shameful piece of me

i left years back to rot

when a fresh identity

a new reflection

was all i really sought

but he still lives

neither close nor very far

with a mocking tone, he whispers one question

"Do you now know who you are?"
----------------------------------------------


thoughts?....thnx
Brother, you should write that on one of the missles you fantasize about sending over to the middle east.

















...
 :hehe :hehe

Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Diablos on February 01, 2007, 11:14:07 PM
roses are red
violets are blue
PS3 costs $600,
and futami's jeans, too!
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: futami on February 01, 2007, 11:20:54 PM
roses are red
violets are blue
PS3 costs 6 jews,
and futami's jeans do, too!

fixed
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Diablos on February 01, 2007, 11:32:24 PM
nicca plz
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: futami on February 01, 2007, 11:43:55 PM
nicca plz

aren't you a virgin?
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Human Snorenado on February 01, 2007, 11:52:27 PM
Dark and lonely on a summer's night.

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Watchdog barking. Do he bite?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Slip in his window. Break his neck.

Then his house I start to wreck.

Got no reason. What the heck?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

C-I-L my land lord!
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: APF on February 02, 2007, 12:02:18 AM
"6 jews?"  That's pretty awful, Diablos.
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: Diablos on February 02, 2007, 12:32:39 AM
He changed my words.
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: futami on February 02, 2007, 12:41:37 AM
updated..

wiping away the greying mist

I determinedly peered ahead

towards two prying eyes

staring back with sullen dread

at a damp facade

behind which meekly hides

a once close friend of ours

I convinced myself had died

That dark and shameful piece of me

I left years back to rot

when a fresh identity

a new reflection

was all I really sought

but he still lives

neither close nor very far

whispering just one question

"Do you now know who you are?"
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: APF on February 02, 2007, 08:12:33 AM
"determinedly" is an awkward word choice.
Title: Re: New Poem: I see you
Post by: futami on February 02, 2007, 08:42:20 AM
"determinedly" is an awkward word choice.

i know. been thinking of something to replace, a word which denotes the intensity of a determined stare....at the moment, i can't think of anything.