THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: omg_lemurs on February 24, 2007, 10:03:39 PM

Title: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: omg_lemurs on February 24, 2007, 10:03:39 PM: I was upstairs in my room minding my own business playing Gears of War when I hear my mom calling for me. So I walk out my door, look over the banister towards her and ask what she wants. She just says, "Cammy, we need to talk." So I walk down the stairs and follow her down to the basement... over to the computer. And what do I see sprawled all over my 19" LCD? Why, it's my porn folder. 14 gigabytess of hardcore and softcore goodness all over the screen in little thumbnails of guys eating girls out, girls sucking on dick and whatnot. I couldn't think of anything to say. It was just sort of a worried\shock thing. I was pretty scared of what was coming next, as my mom is a very conservative woman, as opposed to my stepfather who's pretty liberal. The worst part though is that it meant two things: 1. My mom was waaaay more computer-savy then I had realized and nothing is safe now or 2. My stepdad sold me out for some strange reason (he knew it was there, buried deep in the windows folder). I then came to my senses and figured I had probably left it open on accident or something, and seeing that my mom knows nothing about computers, I could probably lie or deny that it was mine. I decided to lie. "I don't know how that got there, mom - probably some of those pop-ups or something," I said. "Don't you lie to me, Camille. I know that's yours. I'm your mother. I know when you're lying." I continued to say nothing. I just stared up at her in silence. "Do you understand what this is?! It's wrong! This is pornography! This is madness!" Then I said, "This is Spartaaaaaaaaaa!" and kicked her in the tits.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on February 24, 2007, 10:05:11 PM: :rofl
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Vizzys on February 24, 2007, 10:05:48 PM: not funny
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: TVC15 on February 24, 2007, 10:06:53 PM: After you kicked her in the tits did you start suckin' on them and fingerbanging her?
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on February 24, 2007, 10:08:16 PM: You guys are too hard on lemurs.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Beezy on February 24, 2007, 10:09:27 PM: What the fuck? :rofl
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: demi on February 24, 2007, 10:11:37 PM: Fake
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Ichirou on February 24, 2007, 10:13:07 PM: So this is like Evilbore's version of the "Fresh Prince" thing?
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 24, 2007, 10:13:51 PM: Did you mom really say, "THIS IS MADNESS!"

"THIS. IS. PORNOGRAPHY!"
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on February 24, 2007, 10:15:11 PM: Quote from: Willco on February 24, 2007, 10:13:51 PM
Did you mom really say, "THIS IS MADNESS!"

"THIS. IS. PORNOGRAPHY!"

:rofl He didn't get the joke.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 24, 2007, 10:16:32 PM: Uh, I obviously got the joke, hence the fact I quoted it.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Beezy on February 24, 2007, 10:16:58 PM: Quote from: Ichirou on February 24, 2007, 10:13:07 PM
So this is like Evilbore's version of the "Fresh Prince" thing?

Just lemurs.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Ichirou on February 24, 2007, 10:18:11 PM: I bet the 14 gb thing is true, though!
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 24, 2007, 10:18:17 PM: I can't tell if this is the truth wrapped in a joke or a joke wrapped in truth!

Either way, I believe Lemurs has 14GB of porn, and is need of Chris Hansen.

Quote from: Ichirou on February 24, 2007, 10:18:11 PM
I bet the 14 gb thing is true, though!

:lol
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: bagofeyes on February 24, 2007, 10:18:50 PM: I knew something was up when I read 'no more internets for me' yet she wrote it on the internet!!

!!
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 24, 2007, 10:19:23 PM: She is probably using a computer at the public library, what a jerk.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Beezy on February 24, 2007, 10:19:55 PM: Quote from: bagofeyes on February 24, 2007, 10:18:50 PM
I knew something was up when I read 'no more internets for me' yet she wrote it on the internet!!

!!

:lol
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on February 24, 2007, 10:21:58 PM: This isn't quite as good as the "Fresh Prince" gag, but its still pretty clever. B+ for effort.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: HomShaBom on February 24, 2007, 10:55:09 PM: The fact that is Lemurs, anyone who came in here believing it was real needs to be punched.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on February 24, 2007, 11:02:48 PM: Quote from: HomShaBom on February 24, 2007, 10:55:09 PM
The fact that is Lemurs, anyone who came in here believing it was real needs to be punched.

Punch Willco, amirite? :)
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Fake Shemp on February 24, 2007, 11:03:23 PM: I didn't believe the whole thing was real, but given Lemurs' crazy personal history, it is not out of the spectrum of possibility.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Bacon on February 24, 2007, 11:07:51 PM: My mom and I share a porn folder.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Robo on February 24, 2007, 11:11:27 PM: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ gay
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: omg_lemurs on February 24, 2007, 11:38:59 PM: Quote from: Willco on February 24, 2007, 11:03:23 PM
I didn't believe the whole thing was real, but given Lemurs' crazy personal history, it is not out of the spectrum of possibility.

Crazy personal history?
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: BlueTsunami on February 25, 2007, 12:05:14 AM: :lol

I remember when my father first crashed my stash of porn on the PC. He confronted me about it too (I was about 13 I believe)...theres nothing worse than having to look him in the eyes the day after hooly shit :`(
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Ichirou on February 25, 2007, 12:07:02 AM: Quote from: BlueTsunami on February 25, 2007, 12:05:14 AM
:lol

I remember when my father first crashed my stash of porn on the PC. He confronted me about it too (I was about 13 I believe)...theres nothing worse than having to look him in the eyes the day after hooly shit :`(

Did you have any really freaky porn that made him want to take you in for counseling? That would've been pretty funny.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: BlueTsunami on February 25, 2007, 12:12:49 AM: Quote from: Ichirou on February 25, 2007, 12:07:02 AM
Quote from: BlueTsunami on February 25, 2007, 12:05:14 AM
:lol

I remember when my father first crashed my stash of porn on the PC. He confronted me about it too (I was about 13 I believe)...theres nothing worse than having to look him in the eyes the day after hooly shit :`(

Did you have any really freaky porn that made him want to take you in for counseling? That would've been pretty funny.

Fortunately no :lol

Back then, I would be contempt with a marginally hot chick dry humping a couch. The freaky shit came about with time :-*. I remember using Kazaa for all my porn needs back in the day...fricken horrible :-\
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Himu on February 25, 2007, 12:13:27 AM: :lol :lol
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on February 25, 2007, 12:17:57 AM: I remember the first time I got caught watching porn, like two or three years ago. For the next few months my parents never brought it up, but my mom would leave those free Victoria's Secret catelogues on my bed every now and then. :hyper
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Madrun Badrun on February 25, 2007, 12:49:10 AM: :lol

That was actually pretty good. Good job lemurs.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Vizzys on February 25, 2007, 12:50:39 AM: Quote from: The Dark Shake on February 25, 2007, 12:17:57 AM
I remember the first time I got caught watching porn, like two or three years ago. For the next few months my parents never brought it up, but my mom would leave those free Victoria's Secret catelogues on my bed every now and then. :hyper
they think yer gay.
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on February 25, 2007, 12:54:38 AM: It was lesbian porn. ;)
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Ichirou on February 25, 2007, 12:57:30 AM: They...think you're a lesbian? :o
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on February 25, 2007, 12:58:35 AM: OMG PARADOX :o
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Ichirou on February 25, 2007, 01:01:24 AM: MY BRAIN EXPLODEDS!!!

I think it's worse when your parents catch you jackin' it than when they find your porn collection. It happened to my brother once, apparently. I was downstairs and I heard both my mom and him scream in shock and horror and I ran upstairs (thinking someone had had a horrible accident) only to see my brother trying to cover his privates with a shirt and my mom running in the other direction. He was like 12 at the time. :lol

Always lock your bedroom door, folks!
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment on February 25, 2007, 01:02:55 AM: Haha, that's awesome. :lol
Title: Re: So my mom found my porn folder. No more internets for me. :[
Post by: Beezy on February 25, 2007, 01:06:11 AM: Quote from: Ichirou on February 25, 2007, 01:01:24 AM
MY BRAIN EXPLODEDS!!!

I think it's worse when your parents catch you jackin' it than when they find your porn collection. It happened to my brother once, apparently. I was downstairs and I heard both my mom and him scream in shock and horror and I ran upstairs (thinking someone had had a horrible accident) only to see my brother trying to cover his privates with a shirt and my mom running in the other direction. He was like 12 at the time. :lol

Always lock your bedroom door, folks!

:rofl :rofl :rofl