THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Phoenix Dark on April 07, 2007, 10:15:54 PM

Title: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 07, 2007, 10:15:54 PM
Wow. Now I'm not one to get pissed by religio distinguished mentally-challenged considering I'm a product of it, but this was out of line.

Ok a few minutes ago I got back to the house after some holiday shopping - I rented some movies (Children of Men, Unforgiven, and The Prestige), bought the second season of 24 from Gamestop, and got some snacks and drinks for the little get together I'm having tonight. Anyway once I pull up in the driveway I notice my neighbor is packing his car; if he wasn't such a passive, self righteous Christian I'd seriously suspect him of something because every time I get really to leave the house, he's pulling in the drive way or vise versa. So I get out, get my bags, and say I to be nice. We chit chat a bit and then he starts going at it.

Neighbor: Brotha are you going to church tomorrow?
Me: Um, I think so
Neighbor: I notice you don't be going to church a lot lately
Me: *annoyed laugh*
Neighbor: God don't like that. Don't let the devil do his work
Me: Alright..
Neighbor: That's all brotha. I just saw you astray and had to straighten you out
Me: ...

I wanted to blurt out mother fucker the Bible says the Holy Spirt is house in your body, not a god damn building structure...but since it was freezing outside I said see ya and ran in the house.

Wow. If there's one thing I can't stand it's Christians who feel going to church is the most important aspect of life. Spending half your Sunday in church is not a good thing, especially when you consider so many of these "sermons" consist of the pastor talking for hours without saying anything of scripture importance. This dude is black so I'm also willing to bet half of the sermon also consists of annoying singing, screaming, and tithing. FUCK

Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: MrAngryFace on April 07, 2007, 10:18:22 PM
Just buy a gun and casually load it on your front porch every morning.
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: G The Resurrected on April 07, 2007, 10:19:09 PM
3 offers to go to church tomorrow. I DONT WANT TO GO. I'm having my own sunrise service and its happening when I take a piss in the morning. Also I dont want to be baptized by your crazy ass relgions with the crazy pastors and shit. Me and god talk and jesus follows.
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Van Cruncheon on April 07, 2007, 10:21:57 PM
kidnap him and sacrifice him on an altar of purest obsidian to yog-soggoth

also take pictures, but not of the shoggoths; i can go mad without visual assistance thankyouverymuch
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: TVC15 on April 07, 2007, 10:22:54 PM
Wait what is this "I just saw your ashtray shit?"  Are you smoking, PD?  SMOKING?

Anyway, my response to this would be to blast Jeezy at insane volumes.
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 07, 2007, 10:22:59 PM
Easter is perhaps the most important Christian holiday because it's the only day most churches stop talking about them gays and tithing and get to what it's really all about - the death, burial, and ressurection. That's actually pretty damn sad.
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Van Cruncheon on April 07, 2007, 10:23:17 PM
3 offers to go to church tomorrow.

no you didn't. remember: lies are the knives the devil will cut your flesh with while you burn!
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Candyflip on April 07, 2007, 10:23:28 PM
HAH. My friend's mom is a religious nut. Just the other day he showed me an e-mail he got from her forwarded to 20-30 others about how the new Pepsi can is "offensive" because it has the Pledge of Allegiance on it but without the words "under god" and that everyone is encouraged to boycott it. Wtf? Just as annoying as the idiots who want the words removed from that outdated statement. I hate distinguished mentally-challenged fellows on both sides of the spectrum.

Seriously, the thing that bugs me most about Christians (in general, not all) is their inherent desire to smother everyone else in their faith.
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 07, 2007, 10:24:36 PM
Oh boy...I got a couple calls this week about the whole Disney gay marriages thing.  :-\

Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: TVC15 on April 07, 2007, 10:27:47 PM
WHAT'S WITH THE ASHTRAY SHIT
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 07, 2007, 10:28:28 PM
WHAT'S WITH THE ASHTRAY SHIT

astray=losing your way
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: TVC15 on April 07, 2007, 10:31:03 PM
YOURE SMOKINNNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Van Cruncheon on April 07, 2007, 10:31:32 PM
bet he smokes menthol lights
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 07, 2007, 10:31:58 PM
 :-\

RE RE LIKE TO SMOKE
RE RE LIKE TO DRINK
RE RE MIXES ARM AND HAMMER IN HIS COKE
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: TVC15 on April 07, 2007, 10:33:25 PM
Jeezy like to drink
Jeezy like to smoke
Jeezy like to mix arm and hammer with his coke
Jeezy at the trap
Jeezy like to grind
Jeezy bout his paper
Cuz Jeezy like to shine
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 07, 2007, 10:35:40 PM
My parents called me and told me to go to church.

"LOLZ, but I'm an atheist."

"Only means you have to go even more."
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: TVC15 on April 07, 2007, 10:37:53 PM
My parents called me and told me to go to church.

"LOLZ, but I'm an atheist."

"Only means you have to go even more."

I suggest blasting some Young Jeezy, calling them back, and setting the phone on the speaker.
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 07, 2007, 10:38:54 PM
 :lol

I should bump my old ass Jeezy thread
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: makaveli on April 07, 2007, 10:39:41 PM
MUHHHA IM BACK FOOLS
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 07, 2007, 10:39:50 PM
Like I have any Young Jeezy albums.

 :rofl
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: TVC15 on April 07, 2007, 10:40:33 PM
:lol

I should bump my old ass Jeezy thread

We should basically just make this an unofficial Young Jeezy forum.
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Phoenix Dark on April 07, 2007, 10:41:19 PM
Like I have any Young Jeezy albums.

 :rofl

If John Lennon was alive I'm sure he would have bought drugs from The Snowman within the last 3-5 years
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: xnikki118x on April 07, 2007, 11:32:45 PM
I hate preachy people. Believe whatever you wanna believe, but respect those who don't agree with you. Doesn't God love everyone anyway?
Title: Re: My Christian neighbor is a douchebag
Post by: Flannel Boy on April 07, 2007, 11:33:20 PM
I hate preachy people. Believe whatever you wanna believe, but respect those who don't agree with you. Doesn't God love everyone anyway?
He has it in for me.  :(