THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: Howard Alan Treesong on April 29, 2007, 06:34:34 AM
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Dearest cloudwalking,
I recently broke up with my girlfriend of six months, and am feeling a bit uncertain what to do with the extra free time I now find on my hands. I completed Titan Quest on Normal this evening, which helped assuage the heartbreak, but you and I both know that Act III Telkine runs can fill only so many hours of the day.
As a relatively attractive, somewhat shy and nerdy male who posts on the same message boards as you, I would like to formally submit my personage for your stalking pleasure. You may stalk me by public posts, privates messages, or personal e-mail; I leave the decision in your expert hands. I feel that your particular brand of relentless cyberstalking and ostentatious innuendos will be just the antidote I need to clear up my post-breakup blues. In exchange for your services, will be happy to send you one (1) package per month of indigenous items from my place of residence.
As I turn to the vast, impersonal world of the internet to fill the void in my heart where once there was love, there are many options at my disposal: online gaming, pornography, dating sites, &c. After considering all of my options, hoewver, I choose to trust you, a true professional, to stalk me so relentlessly that I can think of nothing else in my excited fear.
Availably yours,
S.P.
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this is so sad
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Sad...and pathetic. And slightly creepy.
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Sure it's sad, but it's also very sexy!
No wait... just sad.
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satire, folks!
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satire, folks!
I hope this is the case. I expect more from SP.
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Sorry detective, I know pathetic when I see it. :-\
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Sorry detective, I know pathetic when I see it. :-\
:lol
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What are you guys talking about? This is hilarious. And anyway, it's not like most of you nerdlings have ever had a girlfriend to lose.
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What are you guys talking about? This is hilarious. And anyway, it's not like most of you nerdlings have ever had a girlfriend to lose.
Yeah, but we also haven't had jobs to lose and put us on the fast track to the ramne noodle isle for the past six months. ;)
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What are you guys talking about? This is hilarious. And anyway, it's not like most of you nerdlings have ever had a girlfriend to lose.
Yeah, but we also haven't had jobs to lose and put us on the fast track to the ramne noodle isle for the past six months. ;)
Jobs to quit. Not that you would know anything about actual work, O Teenaged One.
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Yeah, because I'm not employed as we speak. :burgerking
Jealous, much? I'm stuffing my face with BK while you're digging in your couch cushions for loose change.
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they read patel's letter and naturally assume that it is in earnest, because the alternative option -- a snarky commentary from one of the internet's foremost joke characters and potential drinky crow alt account -- never occurs to them in their naive little worlds of internet porn and self-loathing.
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I wrote her the same letter and look where that got me.
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Dr. Drinky ::)
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Yeah, because I'm not employed as we speak. :burgerking
Jealous, much? I'm stuffing my face with BK while you're digging in your couch cushions for loose change.
The day I'm jealous of you is the day I have truly hit rock bottom.
Fortunately I'm not there yet, and should have a job next week after completing a successful piss test anyhow. But thank you for your efforts!
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i proscribe euthanasia for you, shake
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Oh Triumph, you hit rock bottom ages ago. ;)
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I love how this turned into a bitch slap fight and the OP is nowhere to be seen. :lol
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Did Shake brag about stuffing his face with Burger King food? Woah! Don't criticize Mr. Trump!
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Yeah, because I'm not employed as we speak. :burgerking
Jealous, much? I'm stuffing my face with BK while you're digging in your couch cushions for loose change.
The day I'm jealous of you is the day I have truly hit rock bottom.
wait, you haven't hi rock bottom yet? could've fooled me
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I love how this turned into a bitch slap fight and the OP is nowhere to be seen. :lol
Once events are set in motion, nothing more need be done.
I did find TDS's "I'm eating BK--jealous?!" to be super humorous, however.
Can we make "stuffing his face with BK" his new tag?
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yeah, folks taking the OP as serious rather than a commentary on this forum's sad way with relationships seems to be pretty solid indictment :lol
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so rather, it's not pathetic, it's art?
:wag
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lol, I just figured Patel got dumped, started drinking, and in his drunken stupor somehow came to the perfectly logical conclusion that being stalked by cloudwalking was the only remedy to what ailed him. :lol
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The only person I would creepily e-stalk is Cyanista. I mean...YEEEYAAHHH!
:drool
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Everything's tongue-in-cheek and "a commentary" to you people, until someone you don't like/agree with says it. Then its completely off base and stupid. ::)
And yes, I did "brag" about BK, since that seems to be so humorous to the lot of you. And you call yourself grown men. :rofl