THE BORE
General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: ToxicAdam on May 11, 2007, 11:20:12 AM
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Any regrets? Girls you blew it with .. or you made a fool of yourself?
When I was 16, I was obsessed with losing my virginity. All my degenerate friends lost theirs by the 8th grade .. so here I was, a junior in high school and still not any further than the time I fingered a girl in 6th grade.
I finally found "the one". Heather, a blond volleyball player with a Jay Leno chin. For some reason it was imperative that the girl be a virgin too (so dumb) .. so she fit the bill. We talked on the phone for a few weeks ... and even went to the movies once or twice. Things were going well ...
Her mother was out for the weekend, so I spent the night on a Friday night. This was going to be "the night". I was so worked up over this prospect, I kept procrastinating all night. Finally, around midnight I made my move. I began to take off her clothes in systematic fashion. First came the shirt .. next came the pants. Then the bra ...
Oh shit .. the bra. Some kind of wierd sports bra with hasps and clasps and twist ties. All my nervous energy had reached a peak at this point .. so I began to pull and yank ... and twist ... anything I could do to get this bra off. Seconds seemed like hours, you could hear audible sighs from Heather as any moisture she had built up quickly evaporated as the seconds passed. Finally, she says disgustingly, "Just let me do it ..". Trouble was, I had mangled her bra so badly, she couldn't even take it off herself. She went into the bathroom to do it and by the time she came back it was all too uncomfortable. We both fell asleep with nothing happening ... and nothing ever did happen.
:'(
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What a loser
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What a loser
:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :-* :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
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How do you go to a woman's house and not have a knife on hand?
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I know. Once word got around I was pretty much unable to get any interest from anyone else. So, I started trolling girls from the other high schools. Didn't lose my virginity until I met the school slut from the cross-town school.
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How do you go to a woman's house and not have a knife on hand?
How do you go to a woman's house and not have a knife on hand?
How do you go to a woman's house and not have a knife on hand?
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(http://img503.imageshack.us/img503/1390/ojsimpsonnarrowweb300x4zi8.jpg)
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Well, at least we finally managed to get you to post a picture of yourself.
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Like I'd ever marry a white woman
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that's why white women cook bland foods, it's an anti-negro defense mechanism
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I thought having 'no-ass' was the genetic defense mechanism?
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I thought having 'no-ass' was the genetic defense mechanism?
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I thought having 'no-ass' was the genetic defense mechanism?
yeah, not being fat :o :-*
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Is this a thread about a new Tales of game?
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Tales of shut your negro Mouth
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I always get it when I want it, sorry no woeful tales here.
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:-\
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(http://img409.imageshack.us/img409/230/lifeforceafu5.png)
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Is this a thread about a new Tales of game?
:lol
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Like I'd ever marry a white woman
Too bad you wouldn't be able to handle a black woman's sass.
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Too bad your penis wouldn't be able to handle a black woman's ass.
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Like I'd ever marry a white woman
Too bad you wouldn't be able to handle a black woman's sass.
Pwned.
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Like I'd ever marry a white woman
Too bad you wouldn't be able to handle a black woman's sass.
Pwned.
and by a white dude, a gay white dude, super ultra pwnage
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Like I'd ever marry a white woman
Too bad you wouldn't be able to handle a black woman's sass.
Who said anything about black women. I don't put up with nappy headed hoes, especially when they don't preform oral sex.
Latinos FTW
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Can virgins please stfu? Every thread on this board degenerates into either grade school name calling or homosexual innuendo.
So They've taken your ability to post new threads. That does not mean you need to derail every topic possible.
So at one point in my life I was drunk out in the middle of nowhere with this guy I was seeing. . .alcohol + cutie 6'4" = :D :hyper :hump
It was fantastic. Rode that boy so hard I wore a hole in my knee on his upholstered bench seat. I was way too drunk and distracted to notice, too, so minutes after we were done I was introduced to this incredible stinging pain from the giant carpet burn on my knee. I mean, the shit scabbed over and looked like road bacon for two weeks. Had a scar there for a couple years, too. :-[ :-[
I had to tell people I slipped and fell and scraped it up.
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I recommend that PD be banned from threads that have the word "sex" in them, until he can send Willco pictures of his first sexy time.
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It was fantastic. Rode that boy so hard I wore a hole in my knee on his upholstered bench seat. I was way too drunk and distracted to notice, too, so minutes after we were done I was introduced to this incredible stinging pain from the giant carpet burn on my knee. I mean, the shit scabbed over and looked like road bacon for two weeks. Had a scar there for a couple years, too. :-[ :-[
I had to tell people I slipped and fell and scraped it up.
Same thing happened to me a couple of months ago, but it was in the closet (walk-in). I didn't feel it at the time, but after we were done I almost cried, it was that damn painful. Hopefully my scar goes away in a couple of years, I also told people that I fell and scraped my knee. :lol
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There is nothing worse than the pussing, oozing scrape on the knee. OMG even driving is painful. :lol
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I've pussied out of sex a few times because I'm pretty conservative, like out I don't want to do it in public places. Sometimes I wonder if I should of just risked it.
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I've pussied out of sex a few times because I'm pretty conservative, like out I don't want to do it in public places. Sometimes I wonder if I should of just risked it.
I did it in the back of a parking garage, in a car, once in the middle of the day, I've also done it on top of a parking garage, on the hood of the car, in the middle of the night.
I would have to say the craziest place was in the middle of a dirt road that was surrounded by two busy roads. This was at dusk and it wasn't that dark out. I was with my boyfriend on his motorcycle and he stopped in the middle of the road and he did me from behind. Anyone that would have turned down the road would have seen us standing there, but by the time they got close to us I'm fairly certain we could have pulled our pants up in time.
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Yes, you tard. If you had risked it, you wouldn't be sitting around regretting it years later - even if the worst case scenario had happened.
So you get a ticket for public lewdness and an awesome story.
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omg
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So you get a ticket for public lewdness and an awesome story.
:gloomy it's not ALWAYS an awesome story.
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Thanks for sharing Cyanista.
One of my favorite things is to take women on weekend trips. They definitely lose their inhibitions quicker this way. Unless you completely fuck up, its guaranteed sex and a great way to get to know someone better.
When I was a bartender I used to get a lot of service people come in for a few before they went out and did their jobs. I got friendly with one and in passing I mentioned that I had to use up my points on hotel rooms or I would lose them (lie). So, I mentioned that I was going to go down to Virgina Beach for a weekend and lay about the beach and get drunk. She was intrigued and I said I had enough points for 2 seperate hotel rooms (hook). She agreed.
Well, the second hotel room was never used .. she stayed with me the first night (100 dollars well spent). The second night we drank all day and walked about the strip, dancing in any club that had a beat going. She wore this sexy floral dress with no panties on (she would flash me occasionally). At some point, we called it a night and raced back to the hotel. I was really intent on impressing her this night ... so I planned on just doing oral sex. Well, a full night of drinking/dancing and no underwear is not conducive for the vagina. The taste and the smell was digusting ... but in my alcohol haze, I was convinced I could ride through it. About 3 minutes in I began to get a queasy stomach. She was in mid-moan and I jumped from the bed and said "I need to go put a condom on!" (wtf?) ... even before I got to the toilet I was hurling up a days worth of beer, shots and crabcakes.
Ever get so sick you just lose the ability to stand? Well, there I was in this hotel bathroom in a pile of my puke and a poor girl, I barely knew, in bed with her legs akimbo (probably feeling mortified). I was unable to get up. So, she turned into my wetnurse for the night and took care of the mess (both on the floor and in her bed that night).
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:-X
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My stories are tame compared to the girls, lol.
I fingered a girl and couldn't remember her name...I wasn't even drunk, I'm just bad with names. I think it started with a J or a G or something. Well she wasn't to happy the next time I saw here :-[
Edit: I almost forgot, I actually said "Thanks" to her as i was leaving :lol :lol :lol
The other one would be I was talking to this girl on msn, well councilling her really because she had aperantly almost been raped by her boyfriend this night. So after trying to cheer her up, it ends up with me and her having cyber sex. It was weird and because of the its a regret.
Other than those don't regret much else.
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Beezy do you have any stories? I have the smores ready to go
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Beezy do you have any stories? I have the smores ready to go
Nothing like what I've read in this thread. Basically this chick was horny and kept dropping hints, I was too dumb or slow to realize it, and my friend ended up fucking her instead.
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Beezy do you have any stories? I have the smores ready to go
Nothing like what I've read in this thread. Basically this chick was horny and kept dropping hints, I was too dumb or slow to realize it, and my friend ended up fucking her instead.
Admit it, you weren't interested because she was black.
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Beezy do you have any stories? I have the smores ready to go
Nothing like what I've read in this thread. Basically this chick was horny and kept dropping hints, I was too dumb or slow to realize it, and my friend ended up fucking her instead.
Admit it, you weren't interested because she was black.
Hell no. She had a nice body and DSLs. I was just clueless when it came to girls earlier on in high school.
My friend told me that she had the best titties that he's ever felt. :'(
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Have you ever touched breasts? :'(
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Have you ever touched breasts? :'(
:lol
Yeah.
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:'(
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:'(
so have you. Unless you lied. You made a thread at this very board saying you made out for a while with a girl last year. Unless you like kept your hands behind your back or something.
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No, I'm crying for Beezy. :'(
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no you're not :'(
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Are you a virgin too :'(
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(http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e86/PhoenixDark1/bud.jpg)
:'(
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:lol
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can we PLEASE ban PD and G from all sex threads in perpetuity
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If people opened up my Photobucket they'd think I was gay. :lol
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People think I am gay. :lol
fixed :-*
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No, I'm crying for Beezy. :'(
I thought you were crying because you never touched any too. :lol
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No, I'm crying for Beezy. :'(
I thought you were crying because you never touched any too. :lol
The last breasts he ever touched belonged to his mother. Also, the last breasts I ever touched belonged to his mother.
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No, I'm crying for Beezy. :'(
I thought you were crying because you never touched any too. :lol
The last breasts he ever touched belonged to his mother. Also, the last breasts I ever touched belonged to his mother.
I've semi touched breasts with my head. I've touched breasts through shirts and stuff ( :o), but never touched the actual skin
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No, I'm crying for Beezy. :'(
I thought you were crying because you never touched any too. :lol
The last breasts he ever touched belonged to his mother. Also, the last breasts I ever touched belonged to his mother.
I've semi touched breasts with my head. I've touched breasts through shirts and stuff ( :o), but never touched the actual skin
:'( what vampira doesn't let you get farther than just kissing?
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No, I'm crying for Beezy. :'(
I thought you were crying because you never touched any too. :lol
The last breasts he ever touched belonged to his mother. Also, the last breasts I ever touched belonged to his mother.
I've semi touched breasts with my head. I've touched breasts through shirts and stuff ( :o), but never touched the actual skin
:'( what vampira doesn't let you get farther than just kissing?
I didn't say that :-*
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can we change "Michelle" to "Michelle the Liar" too, for consistency's sake?
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Show me one lie
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i can't quote every single post you've made in this thread conveniently
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can we change "Michelle" to "Michelle the Liar" too, for consistency's sake?
Why do we need to add tautological language?
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No, I'm crying for Beezy. :'(
I thought you were crying because you never touched any too. :lol
The last breasts he ever touched belonged to his mother. Also, the last breasts I ever touched belonged to his mother.
I've semi touched breasts with my head. I've touched breasts through shirts and stuff ( :o), but never touched the actual skin
:'( what vampira doesn't let you get farther than just kissing?
I didn't say that :-*
What do you do with her? details man!
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can we change "Michelle" to "Michelle the Liar" too, for consistency's sake?
Why do we need to add tautological language?
truth in advertising, of course
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i can't quote every single post you've made in this thread conveniently
You are a sad, pathetic old man. I feel sorry for your Andrew, I reall do :-\
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No, I'm crying for Beezy. :'(
I thought you were crying because you never touched any too. :lol
The last breasts he ever touched belonged to his mother. Also, the last breasts I ever touched belonged to his mother.
I've semi touched breasts with my head. I've touched breasts through shirts and stuff ( :o), but never touched the actual skin
:'( what vampira doesn't let you get farther than just kissing?
I didn't say that :-*
What do you do with her? details man!
He found her photo on the internet and then posted said photo. THE END
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You are a sad, pathetic old man. I feel sorry for your Andrew, I reall do :-\
the pity of the ignorant wounds more than that of the wise :-\
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You are a sad, pathetic old man. I feel sorry for your Andrew, I reall do :-\
the pity of the ignorant wounds more than that of the wise :-\
(http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/971/sidebar5bbonesweb5dartina7.jpg)
I don't know what that means
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This has got to be the gayest message board out there. You have two beautiful women sharing hard, brutal railings (one on the back of a motorcycle for christs' sake) yet you have a moron who's never had sex polluting the thread (among others).
PD, how many message board posts do you think you make in an average day? I mean, you're all over gaf, you're all over here, and who knows where else. For someone with nothing to add to the topic at hand, I'm not sure what you're doing posting in this thread 20 times.
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he's trying to emulate his buddy in burgerdom as an act of protest.
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Well I'm not sure why this rampant stupidity seems to be encouraged here, but it stifles conversation in my opinion.
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This has got to be the gayest message board out there. You have two beautiful women sharing hard, brutal railings (one on the back of a motorcycle for christs' sake) yet you have a moron who's never had sex polluting the thread (among others).
The thread is supposed to be about tales of sexual woe. Their stories clearly don't belong here.
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The stories of my sexual escapades are too long and epic for such a forum to contain. I will, however, let you all know when my book gets published.
:'(
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I disagree with Drinky for once. This is a thread about sexual woe, and Michelle has never had sex.
That sounds like sexual woe to me.
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This has got to be the gayest message board out there. You have two beautiful women sharing hard, brutal railings (one on the back of a motorcycle for christs' sake) yet you have a moron who's never had sex polluting the thread (among others).
The thread is supposed to be about tales of sexual woe. Their stories clearly don't belong here.
Skinned knees are tough for girls :-*
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This has got to be the gayest message board out there. You have two beautiful women sharing hard, brutal railings (one on the back of a motorcycle for christs' sake) yet you have a moron who's never had sex polluting the thread (among others).
The thread is supposed to be about tales of sexual woe. Their stories clearly don't belong here.
Skinned knees are tough for girls :-*
You'd think that whiteACID's knees would be used to this kind of wear and tear by now. :P
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You guys want me to leave? :-\
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I don't understand this thread at all.
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I think my craziest times were in high school during track season. It was always cold out so people brough a lot of blankets and sleeping bags. It also got dark early, so a lot of the bus rides were dark, hehe.
I had sex in front of the band room at the high school (I bet the rug is stills stained). Under a tent with about 15 people around...must move slowly. And I got head on the school bus.
Hmmm....Once got caught by the police in a park, got my pants up in time though.
Also had sex on a desolate roadway, involving a motorcycle.
Many parking lots. I also once had sex on the highway during construction, so traffic was stop and go and it was night. Stayed in the vehicle, it wasn't like on the median.
Almost forgot, when I got out of basic training, we had sex in a St Louis Mall, JC Penney changing room. My mom was about 30 feet away looking at shirts. Hey, it was like 3 months, can't waste time!
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Because it has been ruined.
I thought I'd be all slick and date a "younger" guy when I was 19. He was 17. So we flirt and hang out and make out and finally I get him into my bedroom for our first time. . .
And he just lays there. I mean, I'm on top doing my thing for awhile, and this guy isn't even BREATHING HARD. No noise, no movement, no nothing. Now, he'd warned me of some back injury that made it hard for him to be too "athletic" in the sack, but for fuck's sake. . he was such a dead lay I was totally losing my arousal. I'm like "Hey, you getting close?", thinking he'd tell me what the fuck was wrong, and he's like:
"I already came."
NO NOISE. NO LABORED BREATH. It was the creepiest sex ever, and we broke up a day later. I sort of wish I hadn't experienced that.
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Was he still hard? Now see, that's the kind of stories I thought were going to be in this thread. Instead, I'm kind of guiltily turned on.
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http://www.evilbore.com/forum/index.php?topic=2048
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He was about as hard as he'd been to begin with. He wasn't a large dude, but part of what made the whole thing so bone chilling was how there was no change in him throughout.
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I've got plenty of tales of sexual woe, but I like this one because it was just such a wonderful introduction to human sexuality et al that... ah, I get all aflutter thinking about it. I've probably told this story before so if you've heard it, my apologies.
The second girl I ever made the whole penis-vagina interface with was a mormon. Shortly after telling me this, she put my hand up her skirt - I was waaay too shy to make the 1st move - and ground on my hand like it was a Sybian.
Sounds great right? It was at first. Lots of making out, second and third base.... after a few weeks we went all the way and it was fucking fantastic, legs all akimbo and moist hot flesh everywhere. Still sounds wonderful right?? It fucking WAS, until it was all over with and we're lying there, spooning. I'm all purring and shit and she's really quiet, like short little breaths, so I push myself up to see her face and a little tear is running down her cheek and I'm like what the fuck?? She already told me she's done it before so it's not like I tore her hymen or whatever and she never acted like this when I had half my hand in her and what the fuck??
So I ask her what's wrong as she's trying to play it off on some "oh, nothing, nothing" and I'm just like caressing her, trying to be smooth but thinking "christ why is this girl crying like this??". I went to go get a drink and when I got back, she's rocking back and forth in a ball on my bed and combing through her Book of Mormon. I almost dropped my Fresca. I sat down next to her and asked her if she was feeling guilty? And that just made the floodgates open, y'all - she just started bawling and saying yes, she felt guilty, and she liked me a lot, and she wanted me to like her, but she didn't think i would be interested if we didn't have sex, and she was trying to "Choose the Right" (Mormons! holla!). I was stunned. I told her yeah, we could take it slow, whatever... so she stops crying and cuddles up to me. I'm all trying to be supportive and loving and then she fucking starts stroking my dick! After all that fucking crying and praying and drama, she starts squeezing my fucking swanson and what the hell are you supposed to do THEN? I pushed her away and she said she was sorry, how she's just seriously conflicted.
Still ended up fucking again. This went on for... nine months? I know I was totally stupid for sticking with this but it WAS pretty good sex, in all honesty, and I just thought I loved her. When now I see I was just completely pussy-whipped.
That was a doozy, total. I honestly thought I was going to die when we broke up, like I'd never love again omg - now I look back and god, that's just been TAME compared to some shit I've been through since then, emotion-wise. But still. The first heartbreak is always the worst.
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He was about as hard as he'd been to begin with. He wasn't a large dude, but part of what made the whole thing so bone chilling was how there was no change in him throughout.
Weird! Show-er, total. And I take it you didn't know he came, either.
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I need to find a Mormon chick. You know, I'm into that crazy stuff!
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I need to find a Mormon chick. You know, I'm into that crazy stuff!
I hear a lot of them will totally give dudes oral to get them to convert.
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I'm like "Hey, you getting close?", thinking he'd tell me what the fuck was wrong, and he's like:
"I already came."
NO NOISE. NO LABORED BREATH. It was the creepiest sex ever, and we broke up a day later. I sort of wish I hadn't experienced that.
:rofl
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Because it has been ruined.
I thought I'd be all slick and date a "younger" guy when I was 19. He was 17. So we flirt and hang out and make out and finally I get him into my bedroom for our first time. . .
And he just lays there. I mean, I'm on top doing my thing for awhile, and this guy isn't even BREATHING HARD. No noise, no movement, no nothing. Now, he'd warned me of some back injury that made it hard for him to be too "athletic" in the sack, but for fuck's sake. . he was such a dead lay I was totally losing my arousal. I'm like "Hey, you getting close?", thinking he'd tell me what the fuck was wrong, and he's like:
"I already came."
NO NOISE. NO LABORED BREATH. It was the creepiest sex ever, and we broke up a day later. I sort of wish I hadn't experienced that.
Yeah, sorry about that. I had a lot on my mind.
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Oh yeah?! Well, just so you know, the last time I got out of your precious car I LICKED MY FINGER and smeared up the door. Ohshits.
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Oh yeah?! Well, just so you know, the last time I got out of your precious car I LICKED MY FINGER and smeared up the door. Ohshits.
that's almost as bad as when i smeared shit on your upper lip
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:dur
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I'm just kidding Cyanista. I would never do that to anybody especially a beautiful girl like you. I'm too much of a gentleman. :-*
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I've also had sex in a JCpenney's changing room, it was in Ohio though.
I've done it in a car, of course, who hasn't? countless times
Hot tubs, showers, the ocean in Florida with hundreds of people around me.
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Have you ever had sex with a virgin though? That is the question
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I've also had sex in a JCpenney's changing room, it was in Ohio though.
I've done it in a car, of course, who hasn't? countless times
Hot tubs, showers, the ocean in Florida with hundreds of people around me, and in line to have a run at me next
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that's almost as bad as when i smeared shit on your upper lip
(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96/stinkyfishtaco/funny-dog.jpg)
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When I was in high school, and really into my coke and xanax phase, i was getting drunk at this part with some friends. Well, I had about 13 shots of vodka, 2 xanax and a few lines of coke. this girl and I are sitting on a couch talking with some people and I start rubbing her leg and inside her thighs, showing her some interest. well so she's like "I have to go make a phone call" and she pulls my arm so I'm thinking "fuck yeah!" we go into the room and we start fucking around and what the fuck? I CAN'T GET HARD and then when you start thinking about it, it just makes it so much worse. I'm like Oh fuck no. i try to waste time by fingering her, eating her out, everything. but then she starts being really blunt and is like "i want you to fuck me" so, I had to just tell her. God that shit is embarassing. we worked it out though. she blew me for a while, it got hard, but still not much. a good thing about that night is that I learned what will make me hard no matter what. light kissing/sucking on my neck and chest = instant fucking hard on for me.
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These stories about people not being able to get hard always confuse me. How is that possible? The mere thought of having sex would get me a boner of mass destruction. Hell when I look at porn I don't get fully hard at all. I need the real thing, bad. It's ruining my porn life :-\
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These stories about people not being able to get hard always confuse me. How is that possible? The mere thought of having sex would get me a boner of mass destruction. Hell when I look at porn I don't get fully hard at all. I need the real thing, bad. It's ruining my porn life :-\
Did you hear what he did before the sex? You need to get intoxicated PD, just so you understand more about life.
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Kool-Aid is more than enough for PD. The sugar rush makes him bounce off walls for hours on end.
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Have you ever had sex with a virgin though? That is the question
yes
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These stories about people not being able to get hard always confuse me. How is that possible? The mere thought of having sex would get me a boner of mass destruction. Hell when I look at porn I don't get fully hard at all. I need the real thing, bad. It's ruining my porn life :-\
it's hard to get hard when you are on coke
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Have you ever had sex with a virgin though? That is the question
yes
Did he last long? :-\
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Have you ever had sex with a virgin though? That is the question
yes
Did he last long? :-\
not really, no
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This is depressing
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These stories about people not being able to get hard always confuse me. How is that possible? The mere thought of having sex would get me a boner of mass destruction. Hell when I look at porn I don't get fully hard at all. I need the real thing, bad. It's ruining my porn life :-\
some people when it's their first time can't get hard because they're really nervous. other times you can't do it because of chemical problems. It's really never a problem for me especially since I learned the sure shot thing to get me hard. but anyways, when you can't get hard, trust me, you start to think about it and you're like "oh fuck, i can't get hard!" and then since you're thinking about it, it makes it even worse.
anyways, another story. once, I was at my friend Justin's house. we were all getting drunk and doing xanax again. god, i love that shit. anyways, there was this big fat girl there, Amanda. everyone starts talking about cocks, mainly cut and uncut. most of the girls are like "i've never seen an uncut dick!" and the fat girl Amanda is like "I really want to see one" so I exclaim "i have one!" and then she busts out with the offer, "if you let me see it, I'll blow you." in my inebriated state, i'm think "a blow job for showing my dick! win/win!"
yeah, i was teased quite a bit the next day and for some time afterwards for getting a blow job from a fatty. this girl was HUGE. :'(
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These stories about people not being able to get hard always confuse me. How is that possible? The mere thought of having sex would get me a boner of mass destruction. Hell when I look at porn I don't get fully hard at all. I need the real thing, bad. It's ruining my porn life :-\
Whiskey dick, son. It's fer real.
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So I'm already in mid-sex with my girlfriend, and its going along when I slip out at some point, because it was rather wet at that point. So I quickly go right back in at the same thrusting speed as before... and jam my dick into what feels like a plastic wall. She screams and yelps in pain and scoots back. I grab myself and look confused. She's starting to cry a little. Turns out, she was born with two vaginal canals, but only one fully developed. So there was like one entrance but two angles, and I somehow went back into the not fully developed angle and hit the wall. It was really, really painful for her and painful for me.
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OMG you banged a freeeeaaaaak :lol
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Because it has been ruined.
I thought I'd be all slick and date a "younger" guy when I was 19. He was 17. So we flirt and hang out and make out and finally I get him into my bedroom for our first time. . .
And he just lays there. I mean, I'm on top doing my thing for awhile, and this guy isn't even BREATHING HARD. No noise, no movement, no nothing. Now, he'd warned me of some back injury that made it hard for him to be too "athletic" in the sack, but for fuck's sake. . he was such a dead lay I was totally losing my arousal. I'm like "Hey, you getting close?", thinking he'd tell me what the fuck was wrong, and he's like:
"I already came."
NO NOISE. NO LABORED BREATH. It was the creepiest sex ever, and we broke up a day later. I sort of wish I hadn't experienced that.
I was like that at first, too. Very quiet during sex, but I wouldn't just lay there. i was quiet though, no grunts or stupid moans. Girlfriend would ask "What are you doing?" and I'd say "I'm concentrating!" I was always counting backwards and forwards in odd numbers in my head to keep from ejaculating. One time I got caught counting, she could see me whispering it on my lips.
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bwahahaha a circus freak at that! not the good kind of freak
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I can see the nervous thing being a problem. Right now I have an idea of how I'd like it to happen, but things rarely go as planned. I'm rather shy so being nude in front of someone could be bad (despite my flasher mindset).
I wish there was a society of women who specialized in having sex with virgins. That would make things easier, because I sure as hell don't want to have sex with a chick, explode after a couple minutes, and then feel all embarrassed :(
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Because it has been ruined.
I thought I'd be all slick and date a "younger" guy when I was 19. He was 17. So we flirt and hang out and make out and finally I get him into my bedroom for our first time. . .
And he just lays there. I mean, I'm on top doing my thing for awhile, and this guy isn't even BREATHING HARD. No noise, no movement, no nothing. Now, he'd warned me of some back injury that made it hard for him to be too "athletic" in the sack, but for fuck's sake. . he was such a dead lay I was totally losing my arousal. I'm like "Hey, you getting close?", thinking he'd tell me what the fuck was wrong, and he's like:
"I already came."
NO NOISE. NO LABORED BREATH. It was the creepiest sex ever, and we broke up a day later. I sort of wish I hadn't experienced that.
I was like that at first, too. Very quiet during sex, but I wouldn't just lay there. i was quiet though, no grunts or stupid moans. Girlfriend would ask "What are you doing?" and I'd say "I'm concentrating!" I was always counting backwards and forwards in odd numbers in my head to keep from ejaculating. One time I got caught counting, she could see me whispering it on my lips.
:lol :lol :lol :lol
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So anyone besides etiolate have a three-some? (hey two vaginas and one penis)
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I can see the nervous thing being a problem. Right now I have an idea of how I'd like it to happen, but things rarely go as planned. I'm rather shy so being nude in front of someone could be bad (despite my flasher mindset).
I wish there was a society of women who specialized in having sex with virgins. That would make things easier, because I sure as hell don't want to have sex with a chick, explode after a couple minutes, and then feel all embarrassed :(
there are women like that. I have a friend that will only have sex/relationships with virgins so that she can mold them into her perfect lover.
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So I'm already in mid-sex with my girlfriend, and its going along when I slip out at some point, because it was rather wet at that point. So I quickly go right back in at the same thrusting speed as before... and jam my dick into what feels like a plastic wall. She screams and yelps in pain and scoots back. I grab myself and look confused. She's starting to cry a little. Turns out, she was born with two vaginal canals, but only one fully developed. So there was like one entrance but two angles, and I somehow went back into the not fully developed angle and hit the wall. It was really, really painful for her and painful for me.
(http://img213.imageshack.us/img213/2766/alien20girlgz6.jpg)
Try to be more careful next time, pardner.
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I can see the nervous thing being a problem. Right now I have an idea of how I'd like it to happen, but things rarely go as planned. I'm rather shy so being nude in front of someone could be bad (despite my flasher mindset).
I wish there was a society of women who specialized in having sex with virgins. That would make things easier, because I sure as hell don't want to have sex with a chick, explode after a couple minutes, and then feel all embarrassed :(
there are women like that. I have a friend that will only have sex/relationships with virgins so that she can mold them into her perfect lover.
Post her MySpace plz
My plan is to count or something, like eti said. Or think about class notes or something
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I can see the nervous thing being a problem. Right now I have an idea of how I'd like it to happen, but things rarely go as planned. I'm rather shy so being nude in front of someone could be bad (despite my flasher mindset).
I wish there was a society of women who specialized in having sex with virgins. That would make things easier, because I sure as hell don't want to have sex with a chick, explode after a couple minutes, and then feel all embarrassed :(
there are women like that. I have a friend that will only have sex/relationships with virgins so that she can mold them into her perfect lover.
Post her MySpace plz
My plan is to count or something, like eti said. Or think about class notes or something
she doesn't have one. and don't count. just think about sports or bills or what you have to do the next day.
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So I'm already in mid-sex with my girlfriend, and its going along when I slip out at some point, because it was rather wet at that point. So I quickly go right back in at the same thrusting speed as before... and jam my dick into what feels like a plastic wall. She screams and yelps in pain and scoots back. I grab myself and look confused. She's starting to cry a little. Turns out, she was born with two vaginal canals, but only one fully developed. So there was like one entrance but two angles, and I somehow went back into the not fully developed angle and hit the wall. It was really, really painful for her and painful for me.
(http://img213.imageshack.us/img213/2766/alien20girlgz6.jpg)
Try to be more careful next time, pardner.
:lol :lol
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When I was 14 I was in a teen organization where we went to a hotel for a conference. The guys were going to all the girls rooms and getting laid/bjs and shit. My buddy Lance was apparently tearing some of those girls apart, so I had to join in. Thing is, we weren't supposed to be out of our rooms or we'd get fined due to curfew. So my room mates asked me if I wanted to go play "suck dick" with the girls across the hall. I said sure and went along.
Along the way, I had to go take a dump and I didn't want to do it in the girls room so I said I was going to go to the restroom so I went back to the room and used it. Along the way to the girls room by myself I got caught and missed my chance to fuck this slut everyone was getting at. She was absolutely hot and I wanted to get in there.
Alas, I got fined for being an idiot and missed my chance to do an extremely hot chick.
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I tried to have sex in Chicago and even the gay guy wouldn't let me hit it. :'(
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I went into a gay bar with a friend and I didn't even get hit on once. :-\
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14 year old orgy? wtf
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14 year old orgy? wtf
black
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I went into a gay bar with a friend and I didn't even get hit on once. :-\
And people claim gay men have taste? :maf
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14 year old orgy? wtf
Not all of us were 14 dude. The organization houses middle schoolers to high schoolers, thus age range was 12 years old to at the very least 18.
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I went into a gay bar with a friend and I didn't even get hit on once. :-\
And people claim gay men have taste? :maf
I KNOW. Some guy ran his hand through my friend's hair. Fucking slut.
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This thread is getting better. :rofl :rofl :rofl
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I've also had sex in a JCpenney's changing room, it was in Ohio though.
I've done it in a car, of course, who hasn't? countless times
Hot tubs, showers, the ocean in Florida with hundreds of people around me.
You are a slut. Shock.
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Jesus you guys have really had some woes. I'm not gonna even go into some of my woes. But i've had lots of blue balls thats for sure.
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:lol
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I was cock blocked at church camp.
At church camp I was macking with this girl all week so I could tap that. Yeah, it's church camp but who cares, lots of people were fucking over there. So anyways on the night I was going to make my move, she knew what I was going to try and she wanted to do it too...however, her roommate wouldn't fucking leave and my roommate was sleep already. Goddamn that bitch was so clueless. She just kept talking and talking and by the time she went out to another friend's room she totally killed the mood.
my first night in college I got so drunk I passed out while some girl was giving me a handjob. She left but she also didn't shut the door so I lay there all night, comatose with the door wide open and my dick hanging out out of my pants.
:lol
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Ok here's sorta an awkward one...
Now I don't think I'm a bad looking guy, it's just that ever since I was young I always lacked something my friends had with the ladies, that charm, or I guess inner confidence ladies love. I never quite got it, and still to this day don't...I mean I no pussy or nothing like that it's just that I HATE rejection so I kinna don't put myself in the situation to feel it.
Ok so we're at a party freshman year of college and this is when I first hit the frat/party scene and it was amazing I like danced with a lot of girls, got compliments left and right and for once kinna really felt good about myself.
So after a couple of weeks I kinna started to get into this "groove" and knew what worked and what didn't at these parties...so one night I was talking with my friends and on the dance floor some girl pulled my arm and started dancing with me and I said to myself ok cool let me go for it, so I started dancing and started to feel more, and so did she...believe me. So whatever we stopped and she met back up with her friends, and my friend came up to me and was like dude those are high school girls here...ugh she was only 16 :( I mean I was 19 at the time but it kinna weirded me out :\.
Another time I pulled out and accidently jizzed on my girlfrineds stomach and I apoloized like crazy - and she said wow you made that awkward, I still don't know what that meant, but I felt so weird for like a couple of days.
meh nothing hardcore or exiciting like some of you guys :(
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hahaha "you made that awkward"
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WTF Christopher you are very good looking, and you are built. Girls don't find you attractive?
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Read my post PD...
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Thanks to everyone that shared in this thread. This forum has some awesome posters when they take their time and respond.
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WTF Christopher you are very good looking, and you are built. Girls don't find you attractive?
Dude, what has been my situation until five months ago? :P
I can see the nervous thing being a problem. Right now I have an idea of how I'd like it to happen, but things rarely go as planned. I'm rather shy so being nude in front of someone could be bad (despite my flasher mindset).
I wish there was a society of women who specialized in having sex with virgins. That would make things easier, because I sure as hell don't want to have sex with a chick, explode after a couple minutes, and then feel all embarrassed :(
Without any of the bullshit forum drama, I say this: If you end up dating someone for a little while and want to progress to sex and are comfortable enough with her, tell her you are a virgin and that you have some nerves about your first time.
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WTF Christopher you are very good looking, and you are built. Girls don't find you attractive?
Dude, what has been my situation until five months ago? :P
You come across as extremely selective and prude.
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Another time I pulled out and accidently jizzed on my girlfrineds stomach and I apoloized like crazy - and she said wow you made that awkward, I still don't know what that meant, but I felt so weird for like a couple of days.
Uhh, this doesn't even seem like that big of a deal.
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that's why it's funny. he made it into a big deal for some reason :lol "you made this awkward" such an awesome phrase.
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that's why it's funny. he made it into a big deal for some reason :lol "you made this awkward" such an awesome phrase.
Ohh. I thought him blowing his load on her stomach made it awkward.
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I just touched my grand aunt's breast. I mean she's like 4' 6'' and I was just sitting and watching the warrior's game when she walked by and hit my shoulder with her breast.
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I just touched my grand aunt's breast. I mean she's like 4' 6'' and I was just sitting and watching the warrior's game when she walked by and hit my shoulder with her breast.
did she wink at you?
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no she just kind of like coughed and grunted.
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Was she watching the game? Damn Golden State kicked ass
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I don't think she speaks english. I think she just came over to smack some kids that were talking too loudly and figured "ah, fuck it" and walked away and gave me some action.
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I don't think I have any terrible sex stories. I've never been walked in on or anything. I think I fell off the bed once? That's probably the extent of it.
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I don't think she speaks english. I think she just came over to smack some kids that were talking too loudly and figured "ah, fuck it" and walked away and gave me some action.
She's your grand aunt and you don't know if she speaks english or not? eh...
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I don't memorize these things, I see her like twice a year.
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I don't think I have any terrible sex stories. I've never been walked in on or anything. I think I fell off the bed once? That's probably the extent of it.
Same here :( No awful or wild stories. I think the wildest place is in a hot tub or stairwell.
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I don't think I have any terrible sex stories. I've never been walked in on or anything. I think I fell off the bed once? That's probably the extent of it.
Same here :( No awful or wild stories. I think the wildest place is in a hot tub or stairwell.
so our experiences weren't THAT awful? whew
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Breaking in virgins is woe
I thought sex with a virgin would be.. neat or a little more intimate, but really it was just awkward and painful. We didn't even finish, she was just in too much pain and the wincing and crying started turning me off. Not her fault or anything, but it was just a slow cautious process that wasn't fun at all.
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meh, with a virgin, i was only gentle in the beginning and then i went to town like regular and laughed at her tears (i didn't really laugh and she didn't really cry). But maybe it's because i'm a lot smaller than the average guy :-\
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I don't think I have any terrible sex stories. I've never been walked in on or anything. I think I fell off the bed once? That's probably the extent of it.
Same here :( No awful or wild stories. I think the wildest place is in a hot tub or stairwell.
PLEASE tell me this was before Prost.
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I don't think I have any terrible sex stories. I've never been walked in on or anything. I think I fell off the bed once? That's probably the extent of it.
Same here :( No awful or wild stories. I think the wildest place is in a hot tub or stairwell.
Never in a hot tub or stairwell. I wouldn't wanna do it in a hot tub though--it's supposed to be bad for your girl parts because the bacteria gets shoved up there or something.
Kids in my high school used to have sex on stairwells all the time. Two freshmen got caight doing it a few years ago and it was in the paper and everything, and they were suspended. :lol
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back in highschool, two theater nerds got caught fucking in the auditorium on the stage. so awesome.
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back in highschool, two theater nerds got caught fucking in the auditorium on the stage. so awesome.
In College, my slut neighbor was getting banged right outside my door next to the hall window. My roomate could see everything through the door's peep hole. I was going to embarrass them by pretending to take out the trash but my roomate was too wussy to let me do it.
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back in highschool, two theater nerds got caught fucking in the auditorium on the stage. so awesome.
Really?
In Junior year or something, they found two homosexual guys blowing eachother's cocks in the stall.
Another time, they found out this poor girl was giving out blow jobs in the stall for 10 dollars a bj. I got one. She got caught but they didn't do anything because she her reasons for doing it was because she was in such poor financial shape.
There was also the teacher who went to parties and brought booze, and was fucking this football player. She came the year after we graduated.
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Back in high school you could rent these video cameras from the library. Apparently these two guys had checked out one of these cameras and used it for a fuck session and then returned it without recording over it. :lol It was huge gossip all over our school for awhile, everyone had thought they were straight.
oh yeah, also there was this girl in a couple of my classes who had a reputation for being a total slut. I never really believed them because she was always pretty nice to me, I didn't get a bad girl vibe from her at all. Well apparently I was wrong, because when I returned to school after summer break one year I found out that she had been having sex with our psychiatry teacher and they had run off to Arizona or somewhere and gotten married. I suspect she was pregnant.
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Beezy do you have any stories? I have the smores ready to go
Nothing like what I've read in this thread. Basically this chick was horny and kept dropping hints, I was too dumb or slow to realize it
I had the same thing happen about five years ago. It didn't help that my drunk friend looked like she was about to die, so I was concerned about her well-being.
I found out the next week that this girl who I totally blew it with was going to let me do whatever I wanted to her. Oh well.
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This girl and I were hooking up and I needed condoms.
But turns out all she had were these Hello Kitty ones from Japan.
She was fat and smelled afterwards.
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I also broke the same girl in. I thought she was much more experienced just cause of the way she acted and she was a Senior -- but no. Next thing I know my stains are all covered in BLOOD WHAT THE FUCK
I was freaking out cause my Mom would not have enjoyed seeing those stains.
But then I was like -- wtf im dorming
So I made her wash my sheets.
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spencer, i would have donkey punched a bitch for that
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spencer, i would have donkey punched a bitch for that
More evidence for the Mupepe dossier. Thanks, buddy :)
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i was chewing gum and it fell out and got stuck in my girlfriend's hair. I was trying to hide my laughter and when she saw my face she was like "What?" And I just kept going. Then I just burst out laughing and told her. She was fucking pissed.
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In 8th grade, my best gal friend at church who I secretly had a crush on (and still like highly to this day) took me outside and we were talking and stuff. Then out of nowhere she said,"Psst Garrett, would you like me to try this?" and she pretended like she was sucking a dick. I was too embarassed so I just said,"Um...no! What are you talking about? Are you crazy? We're at church!"
Oh God. To this day I regret it. It is one of the things I wish I could change in the past.
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In 8th grade, my best gal friend at church who I secretly had a crush on (and still like highly to this day) took me outside and we were talking and stuff. Then out of nowhere she said,"Psst Garrett, would you like me to try this?" and she pretended like she was sucking a dick. I was too embarassed so I just said,"Um...no! What are you talking about? Are you crazy? We're at church!"
Oh God. To this day I regret it. It is one of the things I wish I could change in the past.
Holy shit no wonder black people are the main sufferers of AIDS :lol
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......
Dude, many people get laid when they're like...14 or 15, no matter what race. Shit, I got my first blow job in fucking middle school. Ask Ed, he probably did too.
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......
Dude, many people get laid when they're like...14 or 15, no matter what race. Shit, I got my first blow job in fucking middle school. Ask Ed
OMG :supergay
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PD was homeschooled Himu, don't forget.
And PD, in middle schools kids were dating and all over eachother. It was pretty normal.
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Cheebs seems to think beards and goatees are out of style, like a fucking homo.
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You aren't the only one who thinks that :o
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Cheebs seems to think beards and goatees are out of style, like a fucking homo.
I don't see ANYONE my age in college (at least who are white) have them other than like hippie looking people.
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I bet you no other man in EMU wears red glasses either
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Cheebs seems to think beards and goatees are out of style, like a fucking homo.
I don't see ANYONE my age in gay college (at least who are white) have them other than like hippie looking people.
Fixed for faggotry.
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I bet you no other man in EMU wears red glasses either
dark red! And come on there are no white guys at EMU with beards other than the hippie looking crowd
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I bet you no other man in EMU wears red glasses either
dark red! And come on there are no white guys at gay EMU with beards other than the hippie looking crowd
Fixed for faggotry.
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I bet you no other man in EMU wears red glasses either
dark red! And come on there are no white guys at EMU with beards other than the hippie looking crowd
I bet they're bright red and borderline pink. :lol
I've seen more than a few people in my classes with manly beards. And they get all the women
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I'm not shaving for 6 months, and I fucking guarantee that.
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I'm not shaving for 6 months, and I fucking guarantee that.
Gross. :(
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I'm not shaving for 6 months, and I fucking guarantee that.
hell yeah! fight the power!