THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: The Fake Shemp on June 03, 2007, 10:30:11 PM

Title: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my ankle
Post by: The Fake Shemp on June 03, 2007, 10:30:11 PM
My ankle has been really hurting for the past two weeks.  The long stints at Gamestop have not helped.  Yesterday, after I laid down, it hurt so much that my body shut down for about 12 hours and did not move.

So under the advice of CrystalGemini and her mom, I went to some Chinese doctor that uses some kind of combination of sorcery, herbs, black magick and non-FDA approved medication to repair twists and breaks and stuff.

He told me that my joints were fine, but my ligament was all kinds of fucked up.

He created some kind of black paste and put it in a plastic bag, slapped it on my ankle and wrapped it in bandages.  It smells like old people and Soylent Green (oxymoron?).  Then he handled me pills that looked like they contained white pepper in 'em in a dusty plastic baggie and told me to see him tomorrow.
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my ankle
Post by: Van Cruncheon on June 03, 2007, 10:35:15 PM
YOU GONNA GET RAPED
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: Ecrofirt on June 03, 2007, 10:35:22 PM
but does it feel any better?
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: DJ_Tet on June 03, 2007, 10:38:58 PM
(http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/7886/waxoffzd2.jpg)
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: The Fake Shemp on June 03, 2007, 10:39:15 PM
Quote from: Ecrofirt on June 03, 2007, 10:35:22 PM
but does it feel any better?

It actually does.
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: Flannel Boy on June 03, 2007, 10:40:32 PM
Quote from: Willco on June 03, 2007, 10:39:15 PM
Quote from: Ecrofirt on June 03, 2007, 10:35:22 PM
but does it feel any better?

It actually does.
placebo effect?
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: The Fake Shemp on June 03, 2007, 10:41:24 PM
Maybe.  All the folks in Becky's family swear by this guy.
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: DJ_Tet on June 03, 2007, 10:43:24 PM
Hell no, I'm a big believer of the ancient chinese medicine as well.  My best friend growing up was taiwanese, and they had the miracle cure for sunburn, headaches, and sprained ankles.  The sprained ankle stuff was this stinky green gel stuff that actually worked, they have great stuff.  I'm not sure what's up with it though.
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: The Fake Shemp on June 03, 2007, 10:44:24 PM
Yeah, this plaster he put on was gooey and sticky and dark green/brown like baby poo.
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: Flannel Boy on June 03, 2007, 10:45:29 PM
Clearly, the pills he gave you were vicodins. But your girlfriend's family will credit East Asian quackery instead.  :P

Yes... like baby poo.
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: DJ_Tet on June 03, 2007, 10:46:10 PM
Probably loaded with steroids or something, man I wish I knew where to get some.  I bet it would knock this tendonitis in my elbow right out, I need to make a call.
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: Scurvy Stan on June 03, 2007, 11:25:57 PM
Those pills are made of cow semen. From cows.
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: Himu on June 04, 2007, 12:27:31 AM
What kind of voodoo was this?
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: The Fake Shemp on June 04, 2007, 02:47:06 AM
The darkest kind.
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: Human Snorenado on June 04, 2007, 03:09:20 AM
What I want to know is... what does G think?
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: G The Resurrected on June 04, 2007, 03:14:19 AM
Quote from: Raoul Duke on June 04, 2007, 03:09:20 AM
What I want to know is... what does G think?

about baby poo? it stinks to high heaven and can make you faint.

but it was probably seaweed and some other stuff
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: Human Snorenado on June 04, 2007, 03:22:12 AM
Quote from: G The Bi Liar on June 04, 2007, 03:14:19 AM
Quote from: Raoul Duke on June 04, 2007, 03:09:20 AM
What I want to know is... what does G think?

about baby poo? it stinks to high heaven and can make you faint.

but it was probably seaweed and some other stuff

Jesus Fuck, you think I was serious?
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my ankle
Post by: G The Resurrected on June 04, 2007, 03:26:47 AM
ah no, its called sarcasm cant you smell the shit?
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: Tauntaun on June 04, 2007, 11:04:09 AM
I could fix your ankle.  Give it a lil rub.....your ANKLE!! lol

spoiler (click to show/hide)
penis  :-*
[close]
Title: Re: I just went to see some Chinese doctor who used dark magic on me to fix my a
Post by: brawndolicious on June 04, 2007, 07:24:24 PM
an ankle doesn't look like a penis.