THE BORE

General => Dysfunctional Hall of Fame => Topic started by: Ichirou on January 07, 2008, 08:52:19 PM

Title: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Ichirou on January 07, 2008, 08:52:19 PM
(http://i4.tinypic.com/6xllq15.png)
Only in Texas!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/01/06/texas.slaying.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Quote
Man kills, cooks and possibly eats girlfriend, police say

TYLER, Texas (AP) -- A man killed his girlfriend, then filleted and cooked parts of her body before calling police to tell them what he was doing, authorities said Sunday.

Christopher Lee McCuin, 25, called 911 on Saturday and told an emergency dispatcher he had killed Jana Shearer, 21, and was boiling her body parts at his mother's home, said Smith County Sheriff J.B. Smith.

When authorities arrived at the home, they found Shearer's mutilated body, one ear boiling in a pot of water on the stove and a fork sticking out of some human flesh sitting on a plate on the kitchen table.

Authorities said it was unclear whether McCuin consumed any part of Shearer's body.

"We cannot prove that he did," Smith told The Associated Press. "He was either going to, had been or led us to think that he was doing it."

Authorities believe Shearer, 21, was abducted from her home Friday night and killed. Her death and mutilation was apparently the beginning of a crime spree that also included McCuin allegedly stabbing the boyfriend of his estranged wife and breaking into a business.

The stabbing victim is in critical condition at an area hospital, officials said.

McCuin, of Tyler, about 110 miles east of Dallas, was charged with capital murder. He was being held in the Smith County Jail on a $2 million bond Sunday and did not have an attorney, officials said. He was scheduled to be arraigned Monday, Smith said.

Before he called 911, McCuin told his mother and her boyfriend to look in their garage, authorities said. There the couple saw the remains of Shearer. McCuin's mother and her boyfriend fled the home and flagged down a police officer. McCuin dialed authorities after they left.

A man who answered the door Sunday night where the body was found declined to comment.

Shearer appeared to have died from blunt trauma to her head, Smith said. She may have been kidnapped Friday night, when her mother witnessed her get into McCuin's truck.

"There was no struggle but she could see the girl left with no shoes, no purse and no cell phone," Smith said.

McCuin then drove to his estranged wife's home, where he stabbed William Veasley, 42, Smith said. McCuin was still in that home when deputies arrived, but escaped in his car after a short chase, Smith said.

"We thought it was a disturbance or an assault," Smith said.

McCuin wasn't seen again until Saturday morning, when he arrived at his mother's home and called her into the garage so she could "come see what he had done," Smith said.

When sheriff deputies arrived, McCuin barricaded himself in the home for a short time before coming out. After he emerged, officers entered and found Shearer's body, Sgt. Gary Middleton said.

Detectives were trying to determine where the slaying happened. They think McCuin drove to his mother's home with the dead woman in the back seat of his extended-cab pickup, Smith said.


Freddy Castillo, who lives two houses down, said he frequently heard McCuin and his girlfriend argue in the house and the yard.

"They would get pretty loud," Castillo said. "They'd yell back and forth and then he would just get in his car and leave."


(http://i4.tinypic.com/6xllq15.png)
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 07, 2008, 08:56:31 PM
was she hot?  I think I'd only be able to eat a woman if she was hot.
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 07, 2008, 08:57:14 PM
Only in Texas!

I was guessing Germany or Florida.
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Ichirou on January 07, 2008, 08:57:59 PM
was she hot?  I think I'd only be able to eat a woman if she was hot.

That will be TVC's excuse when he fillets and eats you.
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: MrAngryFace on January 07, 2008, 09:05:43 PM
argh
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 07, 2008, 09:09:00 PM
was she hot?  I think I'd only be able to eat a woman if she was hot.
There's a photo of her at the 26 second mark of the video

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/01/06/texas.slaying.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview#cnnSTCVideo (http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/01/06/texas.slaying.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview#cnnSTCVideo)

sigh
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 07, 2008, 09:09:15 PM
(http://i.l.cnn.net/cnn/2008/CRIME/01/06/texas.slaying.ap/art.mccuin.ap.jpg)

Himu was this a friend of yours?

Did you have a high walk-by drive-though experience with him?

Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 07, 2008, 09:11:12 PM
Shit she was hot.  I'd have totally nibbled on her cute ears. 
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Powerslave on January 07, 2008, 09:13:06 PM
was she hot?  I think I'd only be able to eat a woman if she was hot.

Do we need comments like this? Jesus Christ some of you people. Have fun with your ban asshole.





spoiler (click to show/hide)
/gaf
[close]
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 07, 2008, 09:16:47 PM
SMH
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: MrAngryFace on January 07, 2008, 09:21:34 PM
If someone ate a wrestler GAF would care.
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 07, 2008, 09:21:40 PM
was she hot?  I think I'd only be able to eat a woman if she was hot.

Do we need comments like this? Jesus Christ some of you people. Have fun with your ban asshole.





spoiler (click to show/hide)
/gaf
[close]

If you guys don't stop making off-topic comments like this, you're going to get the Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police thread locked.  :maf
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 07, 2008, 09:31:12 PM
SMH

Don't go getting your ass all up into a boil. I was only joking. 
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: CurseoftheGods on January 07, 2008, 09:32:09 PM
This is not a thread you should read when you have an upset stomach (like I have right now)...   :yuck

That's horrible.
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Powerslave on January 07, 2008, 09:33:38 PM
Quote from: Joe Molotov
If you guys don't stop making off-topic comments like this, you're going to get the Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police thread locked.  :maf


Hey can I create the banner for the Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police thread??  :hyper

Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 07, 2008, 09:34:55 PM
Quote from: Joe Molotov
If you guys don't stop making off-topic comments like this, you're going to get the Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police thread locked.  :maf


Hey can I create the banner for the Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police thread??  :hyper



Only if it has a picture of Hannibal in it.
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Phoenix Dark on January 07, 2008, 09:38:27 PM
I thought black men didn't eat pussy
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 07, 2008, 09:40:04 PM
This is not a thread you should read when you have an upset stomach (like I have right now)...   :yuck

What did you eat? Or should I say whom?
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: CurseoftheGods on January 07, 2008, 09:54:03 PM
Subway (veggie sub). :lol

Anyway, this thread reminds me of one of Malek's funniest posts:

Quote
Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer suffered from low self esteem and began drinking at an early age. This confused and troubled teen felt rejected by his parents when they decided to divorce. Nevertheless Dahmer's heart did not grow cold and he decided to help poor underprivileged young men. These poor young black boys did not have a place to stay, but the Good Hearted Lionel opened up his home to them. Sure, he raped and killed them and even ate them! But, in a way, didn't society do the chewing for him? Hmmm?
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 07, 2008, 10:01:02 PM
 :lol
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: drew on January 07, 2008, 10:46:43 PM

Quote
Hey can I create the banner for the Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police thread??  :hyper



 :lol

Do it, I always love a good official thread.

Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Powerslave on January 07, 2008, 10:56:37 PM
You are being serious?? :lol



No way I'm gonna make a jokethread about this on GAF. Too sensitive people.
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 07, 2008, 11:52:02 PM
Quote from: Joe Molotov
If you guys don't stop making off-topic comments like this, you're going to get the Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police thread locked.  :maf


Hey can I create the banner for the Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police thread??  :hyper



Yes, but don't screw this up. This is serious business.
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: demi on January 08, 2008, 12:00:24 AM
McCuin, McCain, nobody will tell the difference
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Powerslave on January 08, 2008, 12:01:22 AM
one post above, joe.
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 08, 2008, 12:13:13 AM
one post above, joe.

Forget GAF, I thought you were going to make one for us. We need that banner! Otherwise GAF will continue to look down on us, with our unofficial, bannerless threads. :(
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Ichirou on January 08, 2008, 12:19:24 AM
I'll totally change this thread's name to "Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread" if somebody makes a banner.
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Powerslave on January 08, 2008, 12:24:51 AM
http://i4.tinypic.com/6xllq15.png

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I officially spend too much time with bullshit like this :(
[close]
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: Powerslave on January 08, 2008, 12:58:25 AM
Limited Police Siren Edition:


(http://i4.tinypic.com/6phzjh1.png)
Title: Re: Man fillets, boils, eats his girlfriend, then calls police to turn self in
Post by: CajoleJuice on January 08, 2008, 12:59:19 AM
:lol :lol :lol

That is so fucking awesome.

:rofl
Title: Re: Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Yeti on January 08, 2008, 01:18:39 AM
haha sweet
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 08, 2008, 01:21:50 AM
 :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 08, 2008, 01:40:51 AM
OMG, yes!

:bow
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Van Cruncheon on January 08, 2008, 01:57:59 AM
omg that is awesome
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Ichirou on January 08, 2008, 02:04:27 AM
Now posting in a legendary thread.
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Eric P on January 08, 2008, 10:23:47 AM
i thought black people did stupid things, not crazy things

have black commedians lied to me?
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Tauntaun on January 08, 2008, 11:10:28 AM
This is why us whiteys don't want our daughters dating black men....or just men from the south in general.   :P


spoiler (click to show/hide)
On a serious note I feel really bad for the girl and that man definitely had the devil on his shoulder whispering what to do.  :(
[close]
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: lordmaji on January 08, 2008, 11:21:26 AM
This is why us whiteys don't want our daughters dating black men....or just men from the south in general.   :P


spoiler (click to show/hide)
On a serious note I feel really bad for the girl and that man definitely had the devil on his shoulder whispering what to do.  :(
[close]

He's black... therefore that doesn't make him the devil. It was his gf's ex bf, which HE is White... Damn you White Devils to hell. I mean did you guys look to see if there was Camaro tracks in the drive way? or possibly a stock portfolio? :lol
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Barry Egan on January 08, 2008, 11:21:49 AM
 :lol :lol :lol :lol omg at banner
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Tauntaun on January 08, 2008, 11:25:08 AM
:lol :lol :lol :lol omg at banner

Looks like the left is a Cannibal Corpse cover.
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: AdmiralViscen on January 08, 2008, 12:46:54 PM
:rofl :rofl
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: MrAngryFace on January 08, 2008, 12:50:02 PM
'and then calls the police' is what makes the banner funny
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Himu on January 08, 2008, 12:57:50 PM
fuck.

this was NOT ME OR ANYONE I KNOW.
 
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 08, 2008, 12:59:14 PM
 :rofl :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: PhoenixWright on January 08, 2008, 03:33:27 PM
Took me a minute to realize this thread wasn't about oral sex.
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 08, 2008, 04:04:22 PM
Was it the banner that tipped you off?
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Trent Dole on January 08, 2008, 06:05:31 PM
Oh shit, this is thread of the year material right here.  :lol
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Ichirou on January 08, 2008, 09:08:49 PM
Kind of a sick question, but...if he confessed to eating her, did they pump his stomach to get her remains out of his body?
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Ichirou on January 08, 2008, 09:33:32 PM
Well, if I got eaten, I would like my remains pumped out of the body before they were turned to human feces by the cannibal's natural processes.
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Powerslave on January 08, 2008, 09:39:19 PM
http://www.pasarmiedo.com/issei_sagawa.php


holy shit at Issei Sagawa's story. He literally ate that pussy!
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: xnikki118x on January 08, 2008, 10:46:07 PM
I hope no one ever eats me. That's terrifying.
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Flannel Boy on January 08, 2008, 10:47:31 PM
I hope no one ever eats me. That's terrifying.
...


. . .




























 :rofl :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Ichirou on January 09, 2008, 12:12:13 AM
I hope no one ever eats me. That's terrifying.

nom

nom

nom

goes the flipper monster
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Madrun Badrun on January 09, 2008, 12:16:21 AM
O noes Nikki  :lol :lol :lol


http://www.myspace.com/shedidthat06  (http://www.myspace.com/shedidthat06)


Donations will be accepted for funeral expenses

If you would like to make a donation, you may do so to the following address:

Southside Bank
c/o Shearer's Tragedy Account
6801 South Broadway Avenue
Tyler, Texas 75703

The family appreciates all of your support!


why would the funeral be so expensive to have to take donations. . . unless they make a casket for every individual piece...
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: The Fake Shemp on January 09, 2008, 01:07:57 AM
Oh no, Father_Mike.  Oh no.
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: xnikki118x on January 09, 2008, 04:48:25 AM
why would the funeral be so expensive to have to take donations. . . unless they make a casket for every individual piece...

I pictured a human calf with a fork in it inside its own little coffin. And I lol'd.
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Ichirou on January 23, 2008, 01:28:37 AM
So the funeral expenses thing was a sham?
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: TVC15 on January 23, 2008, 02:23:38 AM
The man that ate his girlfriend and then called the police was such an inspiration to us all :(  I'm so sad right now I can't believe this happened
Title: Re: The Official Man Eats Girlfriend And Then Calls Police Thread!!!!
Post by: Ichirou on January 23, 2008, 02:24:51 AM
You can't trust anybody nowadays.