THE BORE

General => The Superdeep Borehole => Topic started by: benjipwns on September 02, 2019, 11:08:37 PM

Title: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on September 02, 2019, 11:08:37 PM
Sometimes these are really important because they have warnings and stuff that I want you guys to be safe about and I never know where to post them. Now I do.

https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/religion/2019/08/31/harry-potter-books-removed-st-edward-catholic-school/2168489001/
Quote
The seven-book series depicting the magical adventures of a young wizard and his friends was removed from the library because of their content, the Rev. Dan Reehil, a pastor at the Roman Catholic parish school, wrote in an email.

"These books present magic as both good and evil, which is not true, but in fact a clever deception. The curses and spells used in the books are actual curses and spells; which when read by a human being risk conjuring evil spirits into the presence of the person reading the text," the email states.

Reehil goes on to say in the email that he consulted several exorcists in the U.S. and Rome who recommended removing the books.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Great Rumbler on September 02, 2019, 11:13:26 PM
WHAT YEAR IS IT
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on September 02, 2019, 11:18:15 PM
It feels good to cancel Harry Potter because he's promoting witchcraft instead of because J.K. Rowling is a TERF on Twitter. :heart
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 03, 2019, 12:17:56 PM
https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/03/health/poor-diet-blindness-scli-intl/index.html

Quote
Teenage boy goes blind after existing on Pringles, white bread and French fries

Come on, we all know it was the chronic masturbation that caused it.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: BisMarckie on September 03, 2019, 12:21:57 PM
https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/03/health/poor-diet-blindness-scli-intl/index.html

Quote
Teenage boy goes blind after existing on Pringles, white bread and French fries

Come on, we all know it was the chronic masturbation that caused it.

I hope Dan Ryckert will be okay.  :-\
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Raist on September 03, 2019, 01:46:13 PM
WHAT YEAR IS IT

201-

Quote
the Rev. Dan Reehil, a pastor at the Roman Catholic parish school, wrote in an email.

Oh. Huh, yeah, 201.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Yeti on September 03, 2019, 06:49:05 PM
 :pika
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 03, 2019, 07:06:12 PM
Shocking.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Skullfuckers Anonymous on September 05, 2019, 01:10:39 AM
https://theconcourse.deadspin.com/i-broke-the-official-jeremy-renner-app-by-posting-the-w-1837804181
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on September 05, 2019, 02:01:33 AM
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/hitlers-last-living-relative-convicted-19441891
Quote
Hitler's 'last living relative' convicted of paedophilia after kissing girl, 13

...

The angry dad said: "I had put a garage up for sale and Hitler answered the advert. But when he turned up he didn't seem to have much interest in the garage, only in Ania. He lured her to his flat with sweets, brought her clothes and plastic flowers and even offered to marry her."

The dad said when their daughter had told them he had kissed her, they banned her from seeing him and filed a complaint with the cops.

Hitler however defended himself, saying he simply enjoyed the company of the child and that when he kissed her it had simply been the usual sort of greeting that was normal in Germany and was harmless. He insisted: "I'm innocent".
(https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article19441951.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/0_PAY-CEN-HitlerKiss-01.jpg)
Quote
He has always insisted it is bad for him to have been related to the German dictator, claiming that his surname was the reason why he struggled to find work. He added: "The name is like a cross to bear and I wish that on nobody."
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: BisMarckie on September 05, 2019, 06:34:03 AM
Cultural genocide against German customs  :maf
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Brehvolution on September 05, 2019, 08:56:59 AM
If the Harry Potter spells really worked when they were spoken, why did they need all that CGI? :thinking
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on September 05, 2019, 09:05:13 AM
If the Harry Potter spells really worked when they were spoken, why did they need all that CGI? :thinking
lol it's just a movie, i can't believe you thought it was real :neogaf
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Ghoul on September 05, 2019, 01:36:38 PM
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2019/08/30/pennsylvania-man-facing-charges-after-being-caught-on-video-using-finger-gun-gesture-towards-neighbor/ (https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2019/08/30/pennsylvania-man-facing-charges-after-being-caught-on-video-using-finger-gun-gesture-towards-neighbor/)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 05, 2019, 01:50:06 PM
Single or double guns?
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Raist on September 06, 2019, 02:16:52 AM
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-49593954

(https://t3.ftcdn.net/jpg/01/27/36/22/160_F_127362287_qjwoHGdIBTyCEPOiTVfqmZRW8SEnhTNO.jpg)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 13, 2019, 11:32:08 AM
https://gizmodo.com/body-of-man-who-went-missing-in-1997-discovered-in-pond-1838090294

Not funny, just creepy. Someone just happened to see a car in a pond on Google Maps and police checked it out and found a body that had been there for 22 years.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on September 13, 2019, 11:46:45 AM
great, now I have to make a bunch of phone calls
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on September 13, 2019, 11:54:28 AM
I read speculation that the bloody spots in the pools nearby are from dogfighting. :(
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on September 13, 2019, 12:36:12 PM
https://techcrunch.com/2019/09/01/police-botnet-takedown-infections/
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on September 13, 2019, 12:38:45 PM
https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2019/09/09/jerry-falwell-liberty-university-loans-227914

Quote
Not previously reported is the fact that, according to a half-dozen high-level Liberty University sources, when Gauger traveled to New York to collect payment from Cohen, he was joined by Trey Falwell, a vice president at Liberty. During that trip, Trey posted a now-deleted photo to Instagram of around $12,000 in cash spread on a hotel bed, raising questions about his knowledge of Gauger’s poll-rigging work.

Trey did not respond to requests for comment.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on September 13, 2019, 12:59:13 PM
Quote
Everybody is scared for their life. Everybody walks around in fear,” said a current university employee who agreed to speak for this article only after purchasing a burner phone, fearing that Falwell was monitoring their communications.

Dude, you work at Trump U for Evangelicals.

White Christians really do exaggerate their woes. "Everybody is scared for their life." Give me a break.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on September 25, 2019, 10:16:29 PM
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/how-to-protect-your-library-with-medieval-book-curses
Quote
Given the extreme effort that went into creating books, scribes and book owners had a real incentive to protect their work. They used the only power they had: words. At the beginning or the end of books, scribes and book owners would write dramatic curses threatening thieves with pain and suffering if they were to steal or damage these treasures.

They did not hesitate to use the worst punishments they knew—excommunication from the church and horrible, painful death. Steal a book, and you might be cleft by a demon sword, forced to sacrifice your hands, have your eyes gouged out, or end in the “fires of hell and brimstone.”
Quote
The curse of excommunication—anathema—could be simple. Drogin found many examples of short curses that made quick work of this ultimate threat. For example:

    May the sword of anathema slay
    If anyone steals this book away.

    Si quis furetur,

    Anathematis ense necetur.

If a scribe really wanted to get serious, he might threaten “anathema-maranatha”—maranatha indicating “Our Lord has Come” and serving as an intensifier to the basic threat of excommunication. But the curses could also be much, much more elaborate. “The best threat is one that really lets you know, in specific detail, what physical anguish is all about. The more creative the scribe, the more delicate the detail,” Drogin wrote. A scribe might imagine a terrible death for the thief:

    “If anyone take away this book, let him die the death; let him be fried in a pan; let the falling sickness and fever size him; let him be broken on the wheel, and hanged. Amen.”

Or even more detailed:

    “For him that stealeth, or borroweth and returneth not, this book from its owner, let it change into a serpent in his hand & rend him. Let him be struck with palsy & all his members blasted. Let him languish in pain crying aloud for mercy,  & let there be no surcease to his agony till he sing in dissolution. Let bookworms gnaw his entrails in token of the Worm that dieth not, & when at last he goeth to his final punishment, let the flames of Hell consume him for ever.”
Quote
If you’re looking for a good, solid book curse, one that will serve in all sorts of situations, try this popular one out. It covers lots of bases, and while it’s not quite as threatening as bookworms gnawing at entrails, it’ll get the job done:

“May whoever steals or alienates this book, or mutilates it, be cut off from the body of the church and held as a thing accursed.”
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on September 26, 2019, 12:14:00 AM
https://www.jpost.com/Magazine/Jewish-pirates-of-the-Caribbean-447397

Quote
ACCORDING TO Edward Kritzler’s Jewish Pirates of the Caribbean, as early as 1501 the Spanish Crown published an edict that “Moors, Jews, heretics, reconciliados (repentants – those who returned to the church), and New Christians are not allowed to go to the Indies.”

(https://www.jpost.com/HttpHandlers/ShowImage.ashx?ID=333318)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on October 09, 2019, 10:17:08 AM
keep a lookout for Rufus around your car guys:
https://www.kmov.com/news/that-s-nuts-squirrel-hides-more-than-walnuts-under-pennsylvania/article_f460ff2a-ea78-11e9-a081-eb537e27ed12.html
(https://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/kmov.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/0/ec/0ec1e8e2-ea7a-11e9-97e6-47e83887c797/5d9dad266b17d.image.jpg?resize=1200%2C900)
Quote
There were so many walnuts and so much grass under the hood of the car that it took almost a full hour to get the car clean enough to take it to a local auto repair shop.

Once they got the car to the shop, mechanics were able to put it up on a lift and remove the protective plate from under the car. Walnuts they couldn't reach fell out and covered the floor. There were enough walnuts to fill half a trash can.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 09, 2019, 10:32:45 AM
Hey, free walnuts!
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 31, 2019, 03:24:28 PM
Marijuana found in man's nose 18 years after he smuggled it into prison (http://www.cnn.com/2019/10/31/health/marijuana-rhinolith-nose-18-years-prison-wellness-intl-scli/index.html)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: EchoRin on November 02, 2019, 07:07:10 AM
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-50258727

Indonesian man who helped set strict adultery laws flogged for adultery  :doge :brain
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: tiesto on November 07, 2019, 10:43:58 PM
https://www.newsday.com/long-island/crime/long-island-firm-chinese-surveillance-1.38332553 (https://www.newsday.com/long-island/crime/long-island-firm-chinese-surveillance-1.38332553)

Quote
Federal prosecutors Thursday charged a Long Island company, its chief executive and other employees with fraudulently passing off Chinese-made surveillance and security equipment as American-made and selling it to the U.S. government — potentially exposing the military and federal agencies to cybersecurity surveillance and attack.

Commack-based Aventura Technologies Inc., and seven of its current and former employees, ran the scheme that dated to 2006, netting some $88 million in sales, including $20 million in government contracts in the last nine years, authorities said.

The Chinese-manufactured equipment included network surveillance cameras imported into the United States through Kennedy Airport in Queens in 1,000 shipments from China since 2010, said Richard P. Donoghue, the U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of New York.

"Aventura not only defrauded their customers, but also exposed them to serious, known cybersecurity risks and created a channel by which foreign adversaries and other actors could potentially access some of our government's most sensitive facilities and computer networks," Donoghue said.

When I got laid off from my last job, I applied to a whole bunch of jobs. Aventura called me in for an interview right away, and I met with the owner... the next day, he made an offer, but it was $8k less than I was making before so I didn't take. Dodged a bullet on that one!
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 09, 2019, 01:03:44 AM
https://www.sfgate.com/news/us/article/Court-rules-against-life-inmate-who-says-he-died-14819864.php
Quote
The Iowa Appeals Court has ruled against a convicted killer who says he "died" during a medical emergency and thus fulfilled his life sentence.

Wapello County court records say Benjamin Schreiber has been serving the life term since being convicted in 1997 of beating a man to death.

Schreiber says his heart stopped five times on March 30, 2015, at a hospital where he'd been taken from the Iowa State Penitentiary in Fort Madison.

Schreiber filed for release in April 2018.

A district judge found little merit in Schreiber's argument, saying his filing confirmed he was still among the living.

The appeals court affirmed that ruling Wednesday, saying: "Schreiber is either alive, in which case he must remain in prison, or he is dead, in which case this appeal is moot."
so close
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on November 09, 2019, 03:39:52 PM
https://www.sfgate.com/news/us/article/Court-rules-against-life-inmate-who-says-he-died-14819864.php
Quote
The Iowa Appeals Court has ruled against a convicted killer who says he "died" during a medical emergency and thus fulfilled his life sentence.

Wapello County court records say Benjamin Schreiber has been serving the life term since being convicted in 1997 of beating a man to death.

Schreiber says his heart stopped five times on March 30, 2015, at a hospital where he'd been taken from the Iowa State Penitentiary in Fort Madison.

Schreiber filed for release in April 2018.

A district judge found little merit in Schreiber's argument, saying his filing confirmed he was still among the living.

The appeals court affirmed that ruling Wednesday, saying: "Schreiber is either alive, in which case he must remain in prison, or he is dead, in which case this appeal is moot."
so close

(https://68.media.tumblr.com/88cd4387646c2075d2b4bea1e177e535/tumblr_mnegocrYg01qa0n48o6_250.gif)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 12, 2019, 12:34:17 AM
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/shelter-cat-put-solitary-confinement-20859811
Quote
A cat named Quilty has been sentenced to solitary confinement for continually letting other cats out of their enclosures at his shelter after multiple warnings failed to curb the problem.

The serial offender was caught by staff at Friends For Life Animal Rescue and Adoption Organization jail-breaking other felines out of the senior room 'repeatedly, several times a day'.

Quilty also has a chequered past of consistent offending, after staff at the shelter in Houston discovered he used to let his dog sibling into the house at his old home.

After an online campaign was launched to #FreeQuilty, the shelter said that his review with the parole board had failed but he 'released himself' anyway, before being returned to solitary.

The shelter said: "Quilty will not be contained. And he has no shame.

"Quilty loves to let cats out of the senior room. Repeatedly. Several times a day.

"We have since Quilty-proofed the cat room, while he took a brief hiatus in the lobby.

"His roommates missed him while he was banished to the lobby. They enjoyed their nighttime escapades around the shelter.

"The staff, however, did not miss the morning cat wrangling, so we’ll just have to agree to disagree there."

(https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article20860198.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_xxxxxxxxxx.jpg)

NO JUSTICE NO PEACE ATTICAT ATTICAT
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on November 12, 2019, 08:47:54 AM
bork has to be stopped
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 24, 2019, 06:31:35 AM
GR letting one of his friends do donuts:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooKPCFNAw98
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnWL2UmUgiA
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 27, 2019, 02:11:34 PM
https://www.sacbee.com/news/politics-government/capitol-alert/article237802609.html
Quote
In a new filing to quash the subpoena, Parkhomenko’s attorney argues that the Twitter accounts’ language “does not constitute defamation” and that courts are tasked with protecting anonymous communications in the interest of freedom of speech.

“No reasonable person would believe that Devin Nunes’ cow actually has a Twitter account, or that the hyperbole, satire and cow-related jokes it posts are serious facts,” reads the filing in Virginia’s Henrico County Circuit Court. “It is self-evident that cows are domesticated livestock animals and do not have the intelligence, language, or opposable digits needed to operate a Twitter account.
I can't even with this cowphobia.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on December 02, 2019, 10:43:58 PM
https://www.yahoo.com/news/habsburg-jaw-seen-in-16th-century-kings-was-caused-by-inbreeding-researchers-find-200002981.html

Quote
A distinctive jutting jawline seen in dozens of pictures from the Habsburg dynasty of Spanish and Austrian kings was caused by inbreeding, researchers have found.

The family intermarried multiple times, securing power and influence across a European empire for 200 years - but it carried with it an unusual by-product.

The distinctive ‘Habsburg jaw’ can be seen in dozens of paintings, and researchers analysed the deformity, comparing it to the degree of relatedness in the kings and wives pictured in the images.

Professor Roman Vilas from the University of Santiago de Compostela said, "The Habsburg dynasty was one of the most influential in Europe, but became renowned for inbreeding, which was its eventual downfall.

“We show for the first time that there is a clear positive relationship between inbreeding and appearance of the Habsburg jaw.”

(https://s3.yimg.com/lo/api/res/1.2/Z1_X1Ni7dyBFmec4WcKD0Q--/YXBwaWQ9eW15O3c9NjQwO3E9NzU7c209MQ--/https://media-mbst-pub-ue1.s3.amazonaws.com/creatr-uploaded-images/2019-12/4a8e9cb0-153d-11ea-b7fb-a744981476aa)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 03, 2019, 10:22:14 AM
You may not like it, but this is what peak monarchy looks like.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Himu on December 03, 2019, 10:34:05 AM
https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/03/health/poor-diet-blindness-scli-intl/index.html

Quote
Teenage boy goes blind after existing on Pringles, white bread and French fries

Come on, we all know it was the chronic masturbation that caused it.

How TF did his parents not make sure he was eating good things? Did they not ever make breakfast, lunch, or dinner? How is this not neglect? How did this kid eat lunch at school every day?
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Himu on December 03, 2019, 11:19:08 AM
What is WRONG with this boy?

Quote
Back in Bristol, the 19-year-old walking case study is unable to finish his college courses or to get a job, but he hasn't changed his eating habits, either. "He is taking vitamin supplements, but his diet is still pretty much the same," his mother said. “When he was having counseling we managed to start him on fruit smoothies. But he’s gone off those now.”

Quote
"The first we knew about it was when he began coming home from primary school with his packed lunch untouched. I would make him nice sandwiches—and put an apple or other fruit in—and he wouldn’t eat any of it. His teachers became concerned, too," his mother told The Guardian. "He has always been skinny, so we had no weight concerns. You hear about junk food and obesity all the time—but he was as thin as a rake.”

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ywapnw/19-year-old-goes-legally-blind-due-to-picky-diet-of-pringles-bread-fries
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 03, 2019, 11:21:06 AM
His parents were probably chavs.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Himu on December 03, 2019, 11:24:14 AM
I read it and it says they tried. She literally packed the kids lunch and he wouldn't eat it.

It's basically the kid being a moron or possibly autistic.

Even after going blind he still eats THE SAME DIET. Is this autism? What in the CHRIST.

How does someone not like at least one fruit? HOW? How does someone not like even a hamburger or pizza? A hamburger and pizza are probably more healthy than what he currently eats! :mindblown
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Great Rumbler on December 03, 2019, 01:17:19 PM
Fruit is basically natural candy that it's okay to eat!
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on December 18, 2019, 10:51:56 PM
https://twitter.com/JasonSchwartz/status/1207380027853152257
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: OnlyRegret on December 18, 2019, 10:53:38 PM
https://twitter.com/JasonSchwartz/status/1207380027853152257

C H O W D A H
H
O
W
D
A
H
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on December 18, 2019, 11:29:12 PM
:mouf
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on December 20, 2019, 09:53:20 PM
https://twitter.com/BBCSport/status/1207335052163665921
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on December 21, 2019, 01:54:04 AM
https://twitter.com/BBCSport/status/1207335052163665921

That fucking picture. :lol
:dead
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on January 20, 2020, 12:33:30 AM
https://twitter.com/CNN/status/1219129946934784001
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on January 27, 2020, 12:59:48 PM
https://twitter.com/VitalVegas/status/1221847883026067459
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Skullfuckers Anonymous on January 27, 2020, 08:39:31 PM
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2020/jan/27/college-football-coach-adolf-hitler-dinner-guest-grand-valley-state

Quote
“This is probably not going to get a good review, but I’m going to say Adolf Hitler,” he said. “It was obviously very sad and he had bad motives, but the way he was able to lead was second-to-none. How he rallied a group and a following, I want to know how he did that. Bad intentions of course, but you can’t deny he wasn’t a great leader.”
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 27, 2020, 09:20:46 PM
regarding the previous post about Adolf Hitler, you do not, under any circumstances, "gotta hand it to him"
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on February 12, 2020, 02:57:17 PM
https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/1227682065778454529
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on February 16, 2020, 04:44:19 AM
https://www.bbc.com/sport/taekwondo/40391326

"World Taekwondo Federation changes name over 'negative connotations'"
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on February 16, 2020, 01:24:53 PM
https://www.bbc.com/sport/taekwondo/40391326

"World Taekwondo Federation changes name over 'negative connotations'"

(https://i.imgur.com/V2mOkeq.gif)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on February 17, 2020, 10:20:01 PM
https://twitter.com/CNN/status/1229605204049453056
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on February 19, 2020, 09:27:41 PM
https://edition.cnn.com/2020/02/12/us/kfc-crocs-shoe-trnd/index.html
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on February 19, 2020, 09:50:48 PM
https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/1227682065778454529

Update: Teacher back to work and lesson cleared to use again.  :lol
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Lonewulfeus on February 19, 2020, 09:55:46 PM
South Jersey is pretty much north Kentucky no shock there.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on February 19, 2020, 10:03:21 PM
https://twitter.com/Mrs_Matsalia/status/1228537765718982656
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Skullfuckers Anonymous on February 20, 2020, 09:05:59 PM
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/14/experience-i-killed-my-classmate-with-a-javelin
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: shosta on February 23, 2020, 01:55:25 AM
Vice: Eleven Years Later, No One Knows Who Pooped in This Woman's Gelato (https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/kzmn8v/eleven-years-later-no-one-knows-who-pooped-in-this-womans-gelato)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Great Rumbler on February 23, 2020, 07:27:59 PM
Vice: Eleven Years Later, No One Knows Who Pooped in This Woman's Gelato (https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/kzmn8v/eleven-years-later-no-one-knows-who-pooped-in-this-womans-gelato)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnOeIFx3ML8
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Skullfuckers Anonymous on April 15, 2020, 02:45:21 PM
https://mobile.twitter.com/BuzzFeedNews/status/1249849853326381061
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on April 17, 2020, 10:17:21 PM
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/b9q1zj/what_sounds_like_fiction_but_is_actually_a_real/ek6ptgf/

Quote
The Marathon at the 1904 Olympics in St. Louis.

The first place finisher did most of the race in a car. He had intended to drop out, and got a car back to the stadium to get his change of clothes, and just kind of started jogging when he heard the fanfare.

The second place finisher was carried across the finish line, legs technically twitching, by his trainers. They had been refusing him water, and giving him a mixture of Brandy and Rat Poison for the entire race. Doping wasn't illegal yet (and this was a terrible attempt at it), so he got the gold when the First guy was revealed.

Third finisher was unremarkable, somehow.

Fourth finisher was a Cuban Mailman, who had raised the funds to attend the olympics by running non-stop around his entire country. He landed in New Orleans, and promptly lost all of the travelling money on a riverboat casino. He ran the race in dress shoes and long trousers (cut off at the knee by a fellow competitor with a knife). He probably would have come in first (well, second, behind the car) had it not been for the hour nap he took on the side of the track after eating rotten apples he found on the side of the race.

9th and 12th finishers were from South Africa, and ran barefoot. South Africa didn't actually send a delegation - these were students who just happened to be in town and thought it sounded fun. 9th was chased a mile off course by angry dogs. Note: These are the first Africans to compete in any modern Olympic event.

Half the participants had never raced competatively before. Some died.

St. Louis only had one water stop on the entire run. This, coupled with the dusty road, and exacerbated by the cars kicking up dust, lead to the above fatalities. And yet, somehow, Rat Poison guy survived to get the Gold.

The Russian delegation arrived a week late, because they were still using the Julian calendar. In 1904.

Seriously. This needs to be a movie.

Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Skullfuckers Anonymous on May 05, 2020, 01:58:57 PM
https://mobile.twitter.com/kmbc/status/1257731058075947010
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on May 05, 2020, 03:10:27 PM
Quote
But as the state reopens its economy, infection counts are surging—and experts warn of a potential flood in the months ahead.

On March 4, the state health department reported Texas’ first positive case of COVID-19. One month later, on April 4, there were 6,110 cases. As of Monday—May 4—approximately 32,332 Texans had tested positive for the coronavirus, with an overnight uptick of 784. About 7,035 of those cases were confirmed in just one week, according to data analyzed by The Texas Tribune. And that’s despite having one of the lowest testing rates in the nation.

Two counties lead the state’s cases. Harris, which includes the city of Houston and is the third largest county in the United States, had 6,967 confirmed cases on Monday and more than 130 deaths, according to Dr. Umair A. Shah, executive director for the county’s public health department. There were 129 new cases overnight, Shah told The Daily Beast.

On Sunday, Dallas County reported its highest new COVID-19 case total to date, with 234 additional positive results—just two days after Gov. Greg Abbott’s statewide shelter-in-place order expired. As of 10 a.m. Monday, the county had reported 237 additional positive cases overnight—another record—bringing the total case count there to 4,370, including 114 deaths.

Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins has repeatedly cautioned residents to continue social distancing despite Abbott’s decision to reopen businesses on Friday. Abbott was just one in a laundry list of mostly Republican governors who recently launched aggressive efforts to reignite pandemic-ravaged economies—even as epidemiologists warn of possibly grave consequences.

But amid evidence of nationwide quarantine fatigue and revised models showing a surge in deaths expected in connection with COVID-19, public health experts in the state were keeping their eyes trained squarely on long-term care facilities and prisons. That’s where they expected one of the most populous states in America to see its coronavirus future come into sharper, and more disturbing, focus.

“It’s going to be scary going into the fall,” said Diana Cervantes, director of the epidemiology program at the University of North Texas Health Science Center School of Public Health. “We’re going to see a huge explosion of cases.”

https://www.thedailybeast.com/texans-brace-for-a-covid-19-explosion-just-days-after-reopening
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on May 07, 2020, 07:27:22 PM
https://twitter.com/zainabhuseinn/status/1258216714006867969
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on May 21, 2020, 12:00:51 AM
https://wset.com/news/local/va-family-found-1-million-in-cash-laying-in-the-road-they-called-police
Quote
Emily Schantz told WTVR she was driving with her family in Caroline County when the car in front of her swerved around something in the road. Schantz said she ended up hitting it, which turned out to be a bag.

Thinking it was trash, Schantz said she picked the bag up, and then another bag spotted about 15 feet away, and put it in her truck.

Turns out, that bag was full of money, close to about a million dollars in cash.

"Inside of the bag, there were plastic baggies and they were addressed with something that said ‘cash vault,'" Schantz told WTVR.

The family called the Caroline County Sheriff's Office.

Maj. Scott Moser said his office is investigating, but told WTVR that they believe the mail bags were meant for a bank and possibly belongs to USPS.
:money
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on May 24, 2020, 03:25:59 AM
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/23/business/omegaverse-erotica-copyright.html
Quote
A Feud in Wolf-Kink Erotica Raises a Deep Legal Question

What do copyright and authorship mean in the crowdsourced realm known as the Omegaverse?

Omegaverse stories typically feature characters arranged into a wolfpack-like hierarchy of dominant Alphas, neutral Betas and submissive Omegas — plus lots of lupine sex.
Quote
Addison Cain was living in Kyoto, volunteering at a shrine and studying indigenous Japanese religion. She was supposed to be working on a scholarly book about her research, but started writing intensely erotic Batman fan fiction instead.

It happened almost by accident. It was 2012, and Ms. Cain — who grew up in Orange County, Calif., under a different name — was three years out of college, alone abroad with a lot of time on her hands. Her command of Japanese was halting, and English titles in bookstores were wildly expensive. So Ms. Cain started reading things she could find for free online, and soon discovered fanfic — stories by amateurs that borrow characters and plots from established pop-cultural franchises.

Ms. Cain began devouring works set in the world of Christopher Nolan’s “Dark Knight” trilogy. She decided to write some of her own, featuring Batman’s nemesis Bane as a sexy antihero, and posted them for free online. She quickly developed a fan base, becoming something of a star in her sub-subgenre.

A few years later, she was living in Arlington, Va., and working as a bartender when she began to wonder if she could turn her hobby into a business.
Quote
In the spring of 2016, she published “Born to Be Bound,” an adaptation of her fanfic. The story takes place on a future earth where most of humanity has died from a plague and survivors live under a dome, divided into a wolfpack-like hierarchy of dominant Alphas, neutral Betas and submissive Omegas. A powerful, brutish Alpha named Shepherd takes an Omega woman named Claire captive, and they engage in rough, wolfish sex.

Ms. Cain’s fans posted nearly 100 positive reviews on Amazon, enough to get her some visibility. “Unapologetically raw and deliciously filthy,” read one glowing blurb. The debut was a hit. She rushed out several more titles, and the series grossed some $370,000, according to her publisher.

For the next two years, Ms. Cain published at breakneck speed, producing a novel every few months by repurposing her older fan fiction, keeping her books in the algorithmic sweet spot of Amazon’s new releases and turning herself into a recognizable brand. “Dip your toes into the erotica pool,” she said on a 2016 sci-fi and fantasy podcast. “There’s nothing to do here but make money.”

Then, in 2018, Ms. Cain heard about an up-and-coming fantasy writer with the pen name Zoey Ellis, who had published an erotic fantasy series with a premise that sounded awfully familiar. It featured an Alpha and Omega couple, and lots of lupine sex. The more Ms. Cain learned about “Myth of Omega” and its first installment, “Crave to Conquer,” the more outraged she became. In both books, Alpha men are overpowered by the scent of Omega heroines and take them hostage. In both books, the women try and fail to suppress their pheromones and give in to the urge to mate. In both books, the couples sniff, purr and growl; nest in den-like enclosures; neck-bite to leave “claim” marks; and experience something called “knotting,” involving a peculiar feature of the wolf phallus.

Ms. Cain urged Blushing Books to do something. The publisher sent copyright violation notices to more than half a dozen online retailers, alleging that Ms. Ellis’s story was “a copy” with scenes that were “almost identical to Addison Cain’s book.” Most of the outlets, including Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Apple, removed Ms. Ellis’s work immediately. Ms. Cain’s readers flocked to her defense. “This is a rip off of Addison Cain,” one irate reader wrote on Goodreads. “So disappointed in this author and I hope Mrs. Cain seeks legal charges against you for stealing her work! Shame on you!”

It’s hard to imagine that two writers could independently create such bizarrely specific fantasy scenarios. As it turns out, neither of them did. Both writers built their plots with common elements from a booming, fan-generated body of literature called the Omegaverse.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on June 20, 2020, 09:37:40 AM
Quote
Matthew Hubbard, a mathematics instructor at Laney College in Oakland, told the student, Phuc Bui Diem Nguyen, that her name "in English sounds like F-ck boy" and that she needs to "understand" that her name is "an offensive sound in my language," according to the screenshots.

"If I lived in Vietnam and my name in your language sounded like Eat a D---, I would change it to avoid embarrassment both on my part and on the part of the people who had to say it," Hubbard wrote. "I understand you are offended, but you need to understand your name is an offensive sound in my language."



Quote
Nguyen told Hubbard that his request for her to change her name felt "discriminatory" and that she planned to file a complaint with the Title IX Office if he did not "refer to her" by her "given birth name," according to the screenshots. Title IX protects people from discrimination on the basis of sex in education and other federally funded activities.

The emails were not dated and neither the student's sister, who also posted a video of Hubbard addressing Nguyen as P. Nguyen" on a Zoom call, nor Nguyen, responded to NBC News' messages requesting comment.

:dead

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/asian-america/professor-who-told-student-anglicize-her-name-placed-leave-n1231595?cid=sm_npd_nn_tw_ma
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on June 20, 2020, 03:08:08 PM
don't appropriate fuccboi culture
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on June 20, 2020, 04:31:47 PM
https://twitter.com/RobertKlemko/status/1274352557956247556
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on June 25, 2020, 09:39:37 PM
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/ssqu.12824
Quote
Abstract
Objectives
The objective of this study was to empirically test the wide belief that Reviewer #2 is a uniquely poor reviewer.

Methods
The test involved analyzing the reviewer database from Political Behavior . There are two main tests. First, the reviewer's categorical evaluation of the manuscript was compared by reviewer number. Second, the data were analyzed to test if Reviewer #2 was disproportionately likely to be more than one category below the mean of the other reviewers of the manuscript.

Results
There is no evidence that Reviewer #2 is either more negative about the manuscript or out of line with the other reviewers. There is, however, evidence that Reviewer #3 is more likely to be more than one category below the other reviewers.

Conclusions
Reviewer #2 is not the problem. Reviewer #3 is. In fact, he is such a bad actor that he even gets the unwitting Reviewer #2 blamed for his bad behavior.

Anyone who has ever submitted a paper to a peer‐reviewed outlet knows the reviewers can, occasionally, be unpleasant. While rejection always stings, the belief that a reviewer has either completely missed the point of the manuscript, been overtly hostile in his or her review, or simply held the author to an impossible standard is vexing. The source of this frustration has seemingly become personified in the identity of a single person—Reviewer 2. He (and it is always assumed to be a he) is embodiment of all that we hate about other scholars. Reviewer 2 is dismissive of other people's work, lazy, belligerent, and smug.

The purpose of this article is to test a very specific claim about Reviewer 2: he is the reviewer who holds us back. Using the database of reviewer responses from four years of Political Behavior , I empirically test if reviewers who are assigned number 2 are systematically more negative and more likely to be out of line from the other reviews a manuscript received. I assess this hypothesis in two ways. First, I compare the ordinal score each reviewer gives the manuscript. Second, I develop an original measure of “being Reviewer 2 .” In this specific case, being Reviewer 2 is defined as giving a score to the manuscript that is more than one category below the mean ranking of the other two reviewers. The results suggest that Reviewer 2 is no more likely to give a negative review of a manuscript or to be uniquely critical.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: EchoRin on July 01, 2020, 12:11:49 AM
This one is more in the bad vibes category  :-\

Utterly insane in some parts of the world to even have to worry about this. Which, you know, it should be. But yankee doodle my fucking ass or something.

Were those pops fireworks or gunshots? Here’s how to tell the difference
https://chicago.suntimes.com/2020/6/30/21303442/fireworks-gunshots-difference-chicago

Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: EchoRin on August 14, 2020, 10:13:24 AM
https://www.israelhayom.com/2020/08/13/israeli-hockey-player-in-hot-water-for-signing-with-team-auschwitz/

Uh, hmmm...

The logic on the haterz side doesn't really make sense. Like should no athlete go play for a German sports club because Nazis? ???
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tripon on August 25, 2020, 12:59:23 PM
https://twitter.com/GenePark/status/1298303109962309632
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: team filler on August 25, 2020, 04:20:34 PM
https://www.foxnews.com/us/alaska-man-wilderness-rescue-cabin-burn-down-sos-snow

Quote
"Steele’s shoulder-length hair, chestnut brown near the roots fading to golden blond near its frayed tips, hung matted and dreadlocks-like over his neck. His auburn beard flowed untrimmed to his chest," Alaska State Trooper Ken Marsh wrote in a recap of the rescue.

 :uguu
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: team filler on August 25, 2020, 04:32:20 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/8WYYvcB.jpg) :foodcourt
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on August 28, 2020, 11:05:56 PM
https://www.masslive.com/worcester/2020/08/fitchburg-mother-and-son-both-charged-with-incest-could-face-up-to-20-years-in-prison.html
Quote
Tony L. Lavoie’s wife caught her husband and his 63-year-old mother, Cheryl Lavoie having sex at their home on Clarendon Street, Fitchburg on May 20, according to the Sentinel and Enterprise.

Lavoie’s wife called 911 and when police arrived they were told by both mother and son that the sexual relations were consensual. The Lavoie’s also added that it was the first time it had happened.

Fitchburg police charged the mother and son with incest and issued them a summons to appear at Fitchburg District Court on Aug. 20. The charge is a felony.
:doge

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Quote
Meaww reports that when pressed for further details about committing incest with his mom in their Massachusetts home, the son told the officer who arrived on the scene of the tawdry crime, “I don’t want to talk about it, I made a mistake and I am embarrassed enough as it is.”

Ultimately, the son divulged to the Massachusetts officer that he’d been playing a video game in the living room when his mom approached and the two “just started to kiss and have sex” — incestuously, that is.
[close]
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on August 28, 2020, 11:11:10 PM
— incestuously, that is.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on August 29, 2020, 12:24:29 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/a9931HR.png)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on August 29, 2020, 02:16:43 AM
Good thing I wasn’t playing a video game.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Great Rumbler on August 29, 2020, 09:21:22 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/a9931HR.png)

:thinking
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on October 07, 2020, 05:39:47 PM
https://www.dickinsoncountynews.com/story/2839758.html
Quote
Cameras at Jennings Tow & Repair in Spirit Lake recorded a man visiting the local Shell station at midday. Co-owner Sylvia Jennings said she recognized him as a somewhat regular customer, and she recalled him asking if she carried $100 gift cards.

"I said, 'No, I don't, but I've got $50. Let me get some more out here,'" Jennings said. "I turned around to get them out of the cabinet, and he grabbed my papers, folded them over, stuck them down by his leg and walked out the door."
Quote
But on Sept. 3, he stole about 35 copies of the newspaper from the store.

"He put his Wall Street Journal down on top of the Dickinson County News and looked over to see if anyone was watching him, grabbed all the papers and walked out the door," Theye said.

The general manager decided to confront De Yager about the theft on his next visit, rather than going immediately to the police.

"I said, 'You need to bring those papers back,'" the Kum & Go manager recalled saying. "That's a loss of money for me."

According to Theye, De Yager initially denied stealing the papers but soon changed his story, saying he mistook them for the free Northwest Iowa Shopper publication and that he wanted to cut out all the coupons to a particular quick-service restaurant. Theye said De Yager paid for the newspapers a few days later, telling the cashier he felt guilty and planned to pay each location back for the papers he stole.
Quote
De Yager's name happened to appear on page 3 of the Sept. 2 edition — in the police reports. The Hull businessman had been charged with fifth-degree theft and trespassing — both misdemeanors — after stealing a political yard sign from a residence in the Monarch Cove area the night of July 26. Dickinson County Sheriff's Deputy Brandon Vodraska helped file those charges and confirmed the stolen sign was in support of former Vice President Joe Biden's presidential campaign.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAavNvf-HAQ
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Skullfuckers Anonymous on November 17, 2020, 06:49:34 PM
https://mobile.twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/1328775101848956929
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Great Rumbler on November 17, 2020, 07:27:11 PM
https://mobile.twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/1328775101848956929

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye8KvYKn9-0
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on November 22, 2020, 09:56:52 PM
https://mobile.twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/1328775101848956929

"I like James Bond escapes that don't fail."
:trumps
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on December 25, 2020, 06:27:03 AM
Not dumb but really cool. :heart

Japanese school renames boys, girls uniforms as “Type I” and “Type II” in gender identity reform (https://soranews24.com/2020/12/23/japanese-school-renames-boys-girls-uniforms-as-type-i-and-type-ii-in-gender-identity-reform/)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on December 26, 2020, 12:49:20 AM
Not dumb but really cool. :heart

Japanese school renames boys, girls uniforms as “Type I” and “Type II” in gender identity reform (https://soranews24.com/2020/12/23/japanese-school-renames-boys-girls-uniforms-as-type-i-and-type-ii-in-gender-identity-reform/)


That is a start.

They should let the boys wear skirts though.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: team filler on December 30, 2020, 02:21:05 AM
https://twitter.com/YungSpengler/status/1344163916931358720
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: EchoRin on January 01, 2021, 04:02:06 PM
A blast from the past

https://www.yahoo.com/news/fake-teen-doctor-now-23-175957431.html
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: team filler on January 01, 2021, 07:51:17 PM
https://twitter.com/IBJIYONGI/status/1345163161490620419
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Sideshow Raheem on January 02, 2021, 02:51:09 AM
The New York Post is having a field day with Alec Baldwin's non-entity of a wife.

Hilaria Baldwin speaks with a fake Spanish accent and is really Hillary!

https://pagesix.com/2020/12/29/8-times-hilaria-baldwins-fake-spanish-accent-has-gone-wrong/

Do a search for Hilaria and you can see the Post has done more than 10 stories on this woman.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: team filler on January 03, 2021, 04:12:46 PM
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/03/business/oil-industry-careers.html?
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Great Rumbler on January 03, 2021, 07:33:30 PM
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/03/business/oil-industry-careers.html?

oops
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: team filler on January 15, 2021, 06:24:20 PM
https://www.facebook.com/santacruzwaves/posts/10159728628360649

 :lol
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: EchoRin on January 15, 2021, 06:31:56 PM
(https://media1.tenor.com/images/c8d446a5d094deeb7fdc06c3252c122e/tenor.gif)

Slammin Sammy
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Nintex on January 15, 2021, 06:45:15 PM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EryoPSxW4AMImq9?format=png)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on January 15, 2021, 08:04:42 PM
(https://media1.tenor.com/images/c8d446a5d094deeb7fdc06c3252c122e/tenor.gif)

Slammin Sammy

We are riders

On a mission

:salute
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on January 16, 2021, 12:01:19 AM
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/03/business/oil-industry-careers.html?

oops

“Even after the pandemic ends, some of them fear that growing concerns about climate change will lead to the inevitable decline of oil and gas.”

Yeah, too bad there was no public discussion about a need to switch to greener energy, the unsustainability of petroleum, and passing peak oil, or anything like that prior to 2020.

Next thing, we’ll hear how people are surprised that we want to move away from coal.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: team filler on January 16, 2021, 12:32:20 AM
(https://media1.tenor.com/images/c8d446a5d094deeb7fdc06c3252c122e/tenor.gif)

Slammin Sammy

We are riders

On a mission

:salute
just some beautiful boater jr's  :trumps
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on January 16, 2021, 05:27:49 PM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EryoPSxW4AMImq9?format=png)

This is a clue, re-read the Y(um) Drops!
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: team filler on February 03, 2021, 10:25:35 PM
https://twitter.com/IBJIYONGI/status/1357165487885582340
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on February 03, 2021, 11:11:09 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/8MVC3oj.jpg)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on February 08, 2021, 03:48:40 AM
https://twitter.com/IBJIYONGI/status/1357165487885582340

I fucking hate Texas.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Skullfuckers Anonymous on February 27, 2021, 02:21:59 PM
Judges hate this one simple trick.

https://mobile.twitter.com/BuzzFeedNews/status/1365703741597495298
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on April 07, 2021, 11:40:36 PM
Quote from: https://www.thecut.com/2021/04/a-q-and-a-with-the-man-who-keeps-uploading-my-feet-to-wikifeet.html
An Interview With the Man Who Keeps Uploading My Feet to WikiFeet

Back in the fall, I received an unexpected text from a man I had just started seeing. “Are u on wikifeet?”

Assuming he was joking, I laughed and said no. Then he sent me a link to my wikiFeet page. I had never actually heard of the website — basically an encyclopedia of celebrity foot photos for fetishists and foot enthusiasts — until that moment.

To be clear, I am not a celebrity. I have decent Twitter following from having reported on politics for over a decade, from tweeting jokes about politics and appearing on cable news sometimes. But I was pretty shocked to be looking at my own wikiFeet profile, which included my full name, birthday, and photos of me and my exposed feet, dating back to a family vacation in 2013. The images seemed to have been lifted from my Instagram page, which I keep public because I share my work and media appearances there sometimes. My feet had a very sad 3.5 out of 5 stars rating, which categorized them as “okay.”
Quote
Robert! Is it just Robert, or do you go by something else? You sound young.
Yeah, just Robert. And I’m almost 60 years old, young lady.

Do you consider yourself a foot fetishist? 
Yes.

Since when?
Age 6.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: team filler on April 08, 2021, 03:49:58 AM
https://twitter.com/SuperXolani/status/1379869400375963650
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Nintex on April 08, 2021, 05:43:08 AM
That last one is like a skit from the Chapelle show  :lol
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: D3RANG3D on April 08, 2021, 07:14:57 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/8MVC3oj.jpg)

(https://thumbs.gfycat.com/EminentFlusteredIncatern-size_restricted.gif)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on April 08, 2021, 11:03:38 AM
Arriving off the bus, two months later :dead Amazing GIF use
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on April 08, 2021, 11:24:28 AM
Quote from: https://www.thecut.com/2021/04/a-q-and-a-with-the-man-who-keeps-uploading-my-feet-to-wikifeet.html
An Interview With the Man Who Keeps Uploading My Feet to WikiFeet

Back in the fall, I received an unexpected text from a man I had just started seeing. “Are u on wikifeet?”

Assuming he was joking, I laughed and said no. Then he sent me a link to my wikiFeet page. I had never actually heard of the website — basically an encyclopedia of celebrity foot photos for fetishists and foot enthusiasts — until that moment.

To be clear, I am not a celebrity. I have decent Twitter following from having reported on politics for over a decade, from tweeting jokes about politics and appearing on cable news sometimes. But I was pretty shocked to be looking at my own wikiFeet profile, which included my full name, birthday, and photos of me and my exposed feet, dating back to a family vacation in 2013. The images seemed to have been lifted from my Instagram page, which I keep public because I share my work and media appearances there sometimes. My feet had a very sad 3.5 out of 5 stars rating, which categorized them as “okay.”
Quote
Robert! Is it just Robert, or do you go by something else? You sound young.
Yeah, just Robert. And I’m almost 60 years old, young lady.

Do you consider yourself a foot fetishist? 
Yes.

Since when?
Age 6.

Her feet are only a 3.5, come on Robert, you can do better. Don't settle, King.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on April 24, 2021, 09:45:08 PM
Quote from: https://news.yahoo.com/japan-man-arrested-dating-35-152935505.html
A Japanese man has been arrested after reportedly dating more than 35 women at the same time.

Takashi Miyagawa, a part-time worker, is being investigated for allegedly defrauding dozens of women by pretending he was serious about each of their relationships and receiving hundreds of pounds worth of gifts from them.

He was apparently caught out when the women joined forces to create a victims’ association after discovering his extensive infidelity and reported him to the police, according to local media.

Among the claims is that he gave each woman a different date for his birthday, ensuring a constant stream of gifts throughout the year.

One 47-year-old woman reportedly thought his birthday was on February 22, another aged 40 was told it was July, while another 35-year-old believed his birthday was in April.

In total, he allegedly received around 100,000 yen (£668) worth of gifts from the women, including a £200 suit.
This is illegal? :mindblown
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on April 25, 2021, 09:41:36 AM
Quote
Among the claims is that he gave each woman a different date for his birthday, ensuring a constant stream of gifts throughout the year.

That's actually genius.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on April 25, 2021, 10:19:55 AM
Just in case anyone on the Bore was curious, I was born on the 21-26th of every month.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on April 28, 2021, 11:03:57 PM
Quote from: https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2021/04/28/roller-world-phone-number-new-york-times/
They’re reasonable topics you might expect to discuss if you worked the phones at Roller World in Saugus, the beloved rink that’s been serving up disco-ball lit fun for the whole family since 1981. Except this barrage of calls is not going to Roller World. For more than 13 years, they’ve been going to Zolan Kanno-Youngs, White House correspondent for the New York Times.

The problem dates back to his middle school years in Cambridge, Kanno-Youngs tells me, when it became clear to him that his first-ever cell phone number was precariously similar to the one for the North Shore’s most popular indoor roller blading arena. It’s an exact match with the last seven digits, with one crucial exception: Roller World’s starts with the area code 781; his starts with 617.

It’s a fairly common mix-up around here. While 781 is the area code given to numbers just outside city limits, 617 is the three-digit sequence most commonly associated with Boston. So a lot—a lot—of callers have been making this exact mistake on a regular basis for roughly half of Kanno-Youngs’ life. He estimates he’s gotten hundreds of calls like this, about one every other week for the past 13 years.
Quote
He has also never reached out to Roller World about the situation. Still, he’s always wondered, has Roller World experienced something similar, but reversed? Have White House officials ever accidentally sought him out, only to reach the concessions stand at a roller rink in Saugus by mistake?

Unfortunately, no.

“Nope,” says Jerry Breen, who’s owned Roller World for all of its 40 years, and talked to me by phone this week. “I haven’t heard anything like that.”
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Skullfuckers Anonymous on May 14, 2021, 06:39:57 PM
https://mobile.twitter.com/ABC7/status/1390537206897336320
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on May 24, 2021, 06:22:27 PM
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-57226774

First IRL human ever to be eaten by a dinosaur.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on June 08, 2021, 03:03:06 PM
https://globalnews.ca/news/7853542/fence-post-beaver-dam-saskatchewan/
Quote
A detachment of the Saskatchewan RCMP says it closed an “extremely Canadian case” last week.

A theft was reported after an individual had left a pile of posts on a rural property with which they planned to install a fence, but later discovered they’d gone missing, according to a press release on Tuesday.

Porcupine Plain RCMP were called to the complaint on May 7 and quickly solved the mystery when the fence posts were spotted in a nearby waterway.

“The stolen posts were located in a beaver dam,” Const. Conrad Rickards said in a statement.

“A beaver – or beavers – helped themselves to the stash of posts and used them to help build a dam. I tried locating said beavers but they were (gone on arrival).”

Rickards said, jokingly, no charges will be laid.
:cancry
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on July 23, 2021, 05:44:45 PM
https://twitter.com/JDoucette2050/status/1418243067149049858
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Skullfuckers Anonymous on August 20, 2021, 04:29:19 PM
New season of Curb looking pretty, pretty good.

https://mobile.twitter.com/TrueAnonPod/status/1428101741866668033
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: team filler on August 20, 2021, 05:01:08 PM
 :bow :bow :bow :bernie :bow2 :bow2 :bow2
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: team filler on August 23, 2021, 06:20:06 PM
https://www.denverpost.com/2021/07/29/love-has-won-mother-god-amy-carlson-death/


Quote
Carlson’s identity recently was confirmed through a DNA test, Coroner Tom Perrin said. However, he does not know when the autopsy report will be finished because he cannot find a laboratory to test her body for heavy metals.

The cult used electrolysis to break down metals into various solutions that its members sold online as health aids, he said. Authorities want to know if Carlson had been ingesting those substances.

had a fb buddy who joined up with them in colorado and even wrote some stuff for their website. he ended up leaving because there was abuse going on there. I tuned into one of their fb streams and asked them what was the deal with the moon  ??? I remember the answer sounding like the most basic bish new age chit  :)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on August 25, 2021, 10:17:08 PM
https://variety.com/2021/music/news/nirvana-baby-nevermind-lawsuit-1235048465/
Quote
Spencer Elden, the man whose unusual baby portrait was used for one of the most recognizable album covers of all time, Nirvana’s “Nevermind,” filed a lawsuit Tuesday alleging that the nude image constituted child pornography.

The album cover depicts Elden underwater in a swimming pool as a then-infant with his genitalia exposed. The image has generally been understood as a statement on capitalism, as it includes the digital imposition of a dollar bill on a fishhook that the baby appears to be enthusiastically swimming toward. Non-sexualized nude photos of infants are generally not considered child pornography under law.

However, Robert Y. Lewis, Elden’s lawyer, offers an unusual interpretation of the image to argue that it crosses the line into child porn, writing that the inclusion of currency in the shot makes the baby appear “like a sex worker.”

“Defendants intentionally commercially marketed Spencer’s child pornography and leveraged the shocking nature of his image to promote themselves and their music at his expense,” reads the lawsuit, filed in the U.S. District Court’s central district of California and obtained by Variety. “Defendants used child pornography depicting Spencer as an essential element of a record promotion scheme commonly utilized in the music industry to get attention, wherein album covers posed children in a sexually provocative manner to gain notoriety, drive sales, and garner media attention, and critical reviews.”
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on August 31, 2021, 11:57:51 AM
What a fucking idiot. Within American society, the most common excepted definition of “pornography“ is that “we will know it when we see it.“ essentially, it’s down to what the society finds acceptable. Here’s a clue: if it was sold without censorship at a Kmart, it was not pornography.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on September 30, 2021, 07:41:27 PM
Inside the "Secret Meat Room" at Eleven Madison Park (https://pagesix.com/2021/09/29/vegan-eleven-madison-park-offers-secret-meat-menu-for-the-rich/)
Quote
This May chef Daniel Humm had announced with much flowery fanfare that his Eleven Madison Park restaurant would reopen in June from its pandemic closure with a fully plant-based vegan menu. But not just any meager meatless menu: It’s 12 courses for $335.

Humm hammered his message home by telling the New York Times the restaurant would no longer serve meat or seafood, huffing, “The current food system is simply not sustainable, in so many ways.”

The eaterie would only use animal products by offering milk and honey for coffee and tea service, he insisted.

However, it seems those principles are off the plate in the restaurant’s private dining room — which insiders tell Page Six is targeted to corporate events and is a big money-maker for the establishment.

The private dining room at Eleven Madison Park comes complete with a meat-heavy menu that includes foie gras, beef tenderloin, roasted chicken and pork.

New York Times food critic Pete Wells just slaughtered the restaurant in his review, adding at the end, “It’s some kind of metaphor for Manhattan, where there’s always a higher level of luxury, a secret room where the rich eat roasted tenderloin while everybody else gets an eggplant canoe.”

Page Six has exclusively obtained the private dining room menu, which features dishes such as the highly controversial foie gras, beef carpaccio and butter-poached lobster with black truffle and celery root.

Plus, there is pork seared with red cabbage and cocoa beans, roasted chicken and beef, scallop, halibut, trout and sturgeon, which is listed as endangered in some areas. Not to mention a series of local cheeses.

Prices for a seven-course tasting menu at the meaty private dining room run up to $285 per person or $295 with a reserve wine pairing.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on September 30, 2021, 08:29:27 PM
I heard there’s a Secret Meat Room at Taco Bell too for the high rollers.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 12, 2021, 06:59:10 PM
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/first-lung-transplant-drone-1.6208057
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on October 12, 2021, 07:11:03 PM
https://www.today.com/parents/there-s-national-mullet-championship-kids-finalist-photos-are-priceless-t233778
Quote
When small business owner Kevin Begole noticed an increase in mullet hairstyles at the start of the coronavirus pandemic, he decided the best thing to do was feature them in a local competition.

Now, Begole oversees a nationwide contest that garners hundreds of nominations and features some of the smallest, fiercest mullets in the country. The U.S.A. Mullet Championships expanded to include "a kid's contest, across the whole country, just to keep things going," after seeing the success of the adult version.

"That really blew up," Begole noted. "We actually had to cap (the number of entries) at 500 kids, because we were getting hundreds of entries a day, and I couldn't imagine going through a contest with thousands of kids."

To enter the contest, a child only has to submit a front and side view of their mullet, along with a $10 fee. Half of that fee is donated to a charity. For the adult competition, the charity of choice is an organization that works to help veterans. For the children's, the money is going to a local pediatric hospital.
(https://media-cldnry.s-nbcnews.com/image/upload/t_fit-560w,f_auto,q_auto:best/newscms/2021_40/1785759/mullet-champ-usa-kids-division-te-inline6-211008.jpg)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on October 15, 2021, 10:58:49 AM
Quote from: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/oct/15/new-zealand-council-ends-contract-with-wizard-after-two-decades-of-service
The official Wizard of New Zealand, perhaps the only state-appointed wizard in the world, has been cast from the public payroll, spelling the end to a 23-year legacy.

The Wizard, whose real name is Ian Brackenbury Channell, 88, had been contracted to Christchurch city council for the past two decades to promote the city through “acts of wizardry and other wizard-like services”, at a cost of $16,000 a year. He has been paid a total of $368,000.

...

The Wizard said the council had decided to stop paying him because he did not fit “the vibes” of the city. He said he was a provocateur.

“It implies that I am boring and old, but there is nobody else anything like me in Christchurch.”

“It’s just they don’t like me because they are boring old bureaucrats and everyone likes me and no one likes them,’’ he said.

The Wizard is a well-known face to Christchurch residents, but in recent years, his presence has diminished, and sightings have become rare. He says that is because the council has made him invisible and would not respond to his suggestions to improve tourism.

“But when they cancelled this honorarium, everyone got furious, they have awakened a hornet’s nest here, it’s hilarious. The next few months are going to be real fun.”
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Great Rumbler on October 15, 2021, 03:13:15 PM
Don't mess with Gandalf.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 17, 2021, 12:09:20 AM
Quote
perhaps the only state-appointed wizard in the world

I feel like this is something we should know for sure.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 17, 2021, 05:27:17 PM
Quote from: https://www.lubbockonline.com/story/news/2021/11/15/texas-tech-meat-judging-team-captures-3rd-straight-national-championship/8630975002/
Through all the challenges the world has faced over the last two years, one thing has remained constant – Texas Tech University’s Meat Judging Team remains the team to beat.

That was reaffirmed once again this past weekend when the team from the Department of Animal & Food Sciences in the College of Agricultural Sciences & Natural Resources showed its dominance at the 2021 American Meat Science Association International Meat Judging Contest in Dakota City, Nebraska, capturing its third straight national championship.
Quote
Sunday’s victory not only marked the third straight national crown for the Texas Tech team, which won the crown in 2019 and 2020, but also further cemented its status as the premier meat judging team in the U.S., capturing the program’s 16th overall national championship. It also marks the third time in the history of meat judging a team has won three straight national championships, twice done by Texas Tech, which also accomplished the feat from 2011 to 2013. Texas Tech also won the national title in five of the last seven years.

"The national championship win completed a three-peat for the Texas Tech University Red Raiders – winning in 2019, 2020 and 2021,” said Mark Miller, coach of the Meat Judging Team and the San Antonio Stock Show and Rodeo Distinguished Chair in Meat Sciences. “God blessed this team by bringing them close together as a family. The trust, commitment and love between them made the difference. They worked very hard and had an unselfish spirit and love while pursuing honor and excellence to bring home the 16th meat judging national championship for Texas Tech."
Quote
Texas Tech ran away with the competition, scoring 4,210 points, well ahead of second-place Kansas State University with 4,168 points and third-place West Texas A&M University with 4,142. Former Big 12 Conference foe Texas A&M University (4,075 points) and Angelo State University (4,055), part of the Texas Tech University System, round out the top five.

Texas Tech’s victory was driven by its dominance in the beef categories and by the fact it took first place in five of the eight categories overall. Texas Tech finished first in overall beef (2,154 points), beef judging (1,116), lamb judging (569), total placing (1,940) and reasons/questions (841) while taking second in beef grading, fourth in pork judging and fifth in specifications.
Quote
“This year’s team has continued the legacy of excellence that decades of teams, students and faculty have built,” said Chance Brooks, interim department chair and professor of meat science in the Department of Animal & Food Sciences. “They have once again established Texas Tech as the national powerhouse in meat judging. I could not be prouder of each team member and coach who has dedicated countless hours to bring this national title back to Lubbock for the third consecutive year.”
(https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2021/11/15/NLAJ/c2d9cec0-0de0-4d7b-8c43-79f9055663d9-Tech_meat.jpg?width=660&height=438&fit=crop&format=pjpg&auto=webp)
I don't see Bobby Hill there though, maybe he's graduated by now.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 17, 2021, 10:38:56 PM
https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1460710547972894725

(https://i.imgur.com/N3BilXZ.jpg)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on November 18, 2021, 12:26:32 AM
https://www.cnn.com/2021/11/16/australia/megaspider-australia-venom-intl-hnk/index.html

Quote

Though not all of the 40 or so varieties of the species are dangerous, "several are renowned for their highly toxic and fast acting venom," with the male of the Sydney funnel-web spider linked to all 13 recorded human deaths, the museum said.
"This remarkable spider has become a part of Sydney's folklore and, although no deaths have been recorded since the introduction of an antivenom in 1981, it remains an icon of fear and fascination for Sydneysiders," the museum says.

Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Ghoul on November 18, 2021, 07:41:13 AM
https://www.cnn.com/2021/11/16/australia/megaspider-australia-venom-intl-hnk/index.html

Quote

Though not all of the 40 or so varieties of the species are dangerous, "several are renowned for their highly toxic and fast acting venom," with the male of the Sydney funnel-web spider linked to all 13 recorded human deaths, the museum said.
"This remarkable spider has become a part of Sydney's folklore and, although no deaths have been recorded since the introduction of an antivenom in 1981, it remains an icon of fear and fascination for Sydneysiders," the museum says.


Fuck that.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 22, 2021, 10:17:43 PM
https://twitter.com/BilgeEbiri/status/1462047261488209921
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on November 23, 2021, 09:37:10 PM
I hope they're stoned to death for slandering Boji.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on November 24, 2021, 07:58:57 PM
https://futurism.com/the-byte/united-kingdom-octopus-sentient
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Sideshow Raheem on November 28, 2021, 06:46:20 PM
I'm not going to preface this except for "beauty consultant."

https://nypost.com/2021/11/18/beauty-consultant-arrested-for-butt-injection-that-killed-woman/

Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on November 29, 2021, 11:33:21 PM
I'm not going to preface this except for "beauty consultant."

https://nypost.com/2021/11/18/beauty-consultant-arrested-for-butt-injection-that-killed-woman/

Caption has a very 'bore feel to it: Marja McClendon died after receiving two rounds of injections into her butt by Lisa Fernandez.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 30, 2021, 09:24:39 PM
https://twitter.com/stereogum/status/1465327609735225358
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 01, 2021, 09:27:10 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/Izwksmm.jpg?1)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on December 08, 2021, 12:28:48 PM
https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1468583676845998081
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on December 08, 2021, 01:15:55 PM
that is pretty funny, ngl
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on December 18, 2021, 10:13:37 PM
https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-australia-59693271
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Great Rumbler on December 19, 2021, 08:37:35 PM
https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-australia-59693271

Classic Australia moment.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Uncle on December 20, 2021, 08:16:43 AM
https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1468583676845998081

(https://i.imgur.com/5DLrrTY.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on December 21, 2021, 08:11:57 PM
https://twitter.com/WSJ/status/1473171404199710720
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: BIONIC on December 21, 2021, 08:51:34 PM
I have a hog he can sniff  :smug
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Cauliflower Of Love on December 22, 2021, 03:53:23 PM
https://twitter.com/WSJ/status/1473171404199710720

I bet none of those people actually have  working sense of smell and are all complicit in randomly giving the thumbs up.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Uncle on December 22, 2021, 10:01:57 PM
Spain ham sniffer retires, is training his replacement

loudly to the rest of the floor: "alright fellas, I'm gonna take him aside, trade secrets y'know"

low mumble: "one out of forty, act like you're not sure and take another sniff. one out of fifty, reject. collect your fucking paycheck, enjoy"
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Raist on December 23, 2021, 02:35:27 AM
I have a hog he can sniff  :smug


He specializes in hams, not cocktail sausages.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on December 29, 2021, 08:30:52 PM
Rufus out of control:
Quote from: https://nypost.com/2021/12/29/squirrel-from-hell-injures-18-during-48-hour-biting-spree/
It went completely nuts.

UK residents were left reeling after a crazed gray squirrel went on a wild Christmas rampage in Buckley, Wales, injuring a staggering 18 people in two days. Facebook posts detailing Rocky’s reign of terror are going viral.

“Warning, vicious squirrel that attacks,” wrote Nicola Crowther in the Buckley Residents Facebook Group on Dec. 26 along with a grainy photo of the furry culprit on a fencepost. “Has bitten me, attacked my friend … and multiple other people.”

“It’s also attacked my two Bengals, who fear nothing, and my neighbors’ Bengal cats,” she added. “Dare not go out of my house, as it’s lurking.

...

The nutty critter, which has since been dubbed “Stripe” after the evil character from “Gremlins,” reportedly didn’t discriminate in its attacks, lashing out at the elderly, children and pets alike, and biting them everywhere from heads to legs, SWNS reported.

Nowhere was safe, as the critter would launch at people in the gardens and even chase them down the road.

Many victims had to receive tetanus shots after getting savaged.

“After arriving at the hospital, I had to have a tetanus jab because the squirrel broke my skin,” said technician Scott Felton, 34, who was ambushed by the psychotic treehopper while smoking on his patio.

He added, “I know of someone else too who had to have a tetanus jab because theirs didn’t stop bleeding.”

During the course of its two-day biting spree, the bloodthirsty squirrel reportedly injured 18 people with a staggering 21 attacked since Dec. 23.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Rufus on December 30, 2021, 11:30:46 AM
Racist.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on December 30, 2021, 12:50:21 PM
Police look for leads in Christmas butter heist in Trenton, Ont.

https://ottawa.ctvnews.ca/police-look-for-leads-in-christmas-butter-heist-in-trenton-ont-1.5722455
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Great Rumbler on December 30, 2021, 01:08:58 PM
Racist.

(http://i.imgur.com/Q33wcSC.jpg)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on January 14, 2022, 11:47:04 PM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FJGHiHgXMAAOarh?format=jpg&name=small)

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FJGHiHeXwAQLCfT?format=jpg&name=small)
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FJGJBqCX0AIy3e9?format=jpg&name=small)

 :salute
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on January 14, 2022, 11:55:52 PM
…or the school administration in this case.

ENJOY BEING 74 AND UNEMPLOYED, DUMBASS.

Now that's predestination.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on January 22, 2022, 11:56:37 AM
Quote from: https://www.michigancapitolconfidential.com/superintendent-no-kitty-litter-placed-in-school-restrooms-for-students-who-identify-as-animals
Midland Public Schools Superintendent Michael Sharrow sent an email to parents on Jan. 20 to dispel a rumor the district had placed litter boxes in school restrooms for students who identified as animals.

“It is unconscionable that this afternoon I am sending this communication,” Sharrow wrote. “Let me be clear in this communication. There is no truth whatsoever to this false statement/accusation! There have never been litter boxes within MPS schools.”

The rumor circulated after a resident stated at the Dec. 20 board of education meeting that litter boxes were placed in student restrooms for children who identify themselves as “furries.”
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on January 31, 2022, 08:52:09 PM
https://twitter.com/WSJ/status/1488006651445714945
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Uncle on January 31, 2022, 09:59:48 PM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FJGHiHgXMAAOarh?format=jpg&name=small)

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FJGHiHeXwAQLCfT?format=jpg&name=small)
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FJGJBqCX0AIy3e9?format=jpg&name=small)

 :salute

(https://i.imgur.com/J8RtBjC.png)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Potato on February 04, 2022, 01:01:34 AM
Price of ass skyrockets due to global demand (https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02-04/donkey-demand-soars-as-farmers-protect-stock-from-predators/100800040)

spoiler (click to show/hide)
A decline in the global donkey population and surge in their popularity amongst livestock owners has seen the price of asses skyrocket.

Donkeys have become a popular addition to mobs of sheep as guardians against predators, and to cattle as peacekeepers to prevent fighting.

West Australian livestock agent Phil Petricevich said prices for donkeys had soared.

"In the past 18 months we've seen a big jump in prices," he said.

"It started off at around about $600 to $700 a donkey, then a couple of sales ago I think it reached $2,500 for a good young jenny."

"It was just such a rapid rise in pricing that it caught a lot of us by surprise. Fingers crossed (prices) can be maintained."

Mr Petricevich said donkeys were worth about $60 a head as pet meat about three years ago.

The donkeys are mainly sourced from the pastoral region, where large numbers are regarded as vermin in the rangelands as they cause environmental damage and compete with native animals and livestock for feed.
[close]
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on February 04, 2022, 01:02:52 AM
I stridently protest! I have never paid for good young jenny's ass.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on February 06, 2022, 03:37:45 PM
https://twitter.com/yancypart2/status/1490372633078251525
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: porkbun on February 08, 2022, 01:40:34 PM
Typical asshole cat.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on February 08, 2022, 08:28:35 PM
I'd go 1400 miles to avoid Florida.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on February 22, 2022, 03:06:50 AM
https://www.9news.com.au/national/natasha-beth-darcy-sentenced-for-murder-mathew-dunbar-grazier-walcha-nsw/2ed18f38-3ceb-4524-9065-2310e8e0ac00

Story just keeps giving, as it goes along.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Potato on February 23, 2022, 08:01:35 PM
https://mobile.twitter.com/wsyx6/status/1496500932267364352
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on March 05, 2022, 11:29:08 PM
https://twitter.com/CBSDenver/status/1500240251180118016
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Uncle on March 06, 2022, 07:24:08 PM
https://twitter.com/JimmyKimmelLive/status/1499626051193896960

https://abc30.com/fart-license-plate-nc-karly-sindy/11619556/

Quote
ASHEVILLE, N.C. -- FART -- That's the license plate one North Carolina woman paid extra money to have on the back of her vehicle.

Karly Sindy of Asheville said the DMV approved her personalized license plate back in October. She was a bit surprised but excited when she received the plate in the mail.

She put it on her truck and went on her merry way, driving around town with "FART" on the back of her pickup.

But then on February 25, she received a letter in the mail from the DMV. The letter stated that the DMV had received some complaints about the plate.

The DMV asked Sindy to respond explaining what the plate meant to her and why it was important.

She and some friends online put their heads together and came up with an attempt to save the FART. They decided to tell the DMV that it was an acronym for their (completely made up) group: Friends of Asheville Recreational Trails.

Well we say "completely made up," but that's not exactly accurate now. Now the group does exist. Sindy even said she had 15 people show up at the group's first meeting. The group now has a mailing list, a website, promotional stickers and t-shirts!

As for the license plate, it's yet to be seen if the DMV will allow Sindy to keep using FART. There are more than 9,000 personalized plates already banned in North Carolina. Time will tell if FART joins the list.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on March 14, 2022, 03:31:52 PM
Quote from: https://people.com/human-interest/firefighters-rescue-indiana-teen-who-got-stuck-in-a-tree-while-attempting-to-save-cat/
Firefighters were called to rescue a teenager who got stuck in a tree while trying to save a cat at an Indianapolis park on Saturday.

A 17-year-old boy named Owen wanted to "do a good deed" and rescue the animal after noticing him 35 feet above in a tree at Holliday Park, according to a Facebook post from the Indianapolis Fire Department.

But after climbing the tree, Owen became stuck, and firefighters were forced to do a rope rescue to save the teen, they said.

"While Owen had no trouble climbing up the tree," the fire department said, "his positioning did not allow the same ease for getting down."
Quote
Meanwhile, the feline remained in the tree despite the firefighters' rescue efforts.

"The cat seemed to enjoy the commotion but literally made no effort to climb down the tree," the post stated.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: BisMarckie on March 14, 2022, 03:38:58 PM
You could have hurt yourself stro :wag
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on March 16, 2022, 10:00:51 AM
BREAKING:
https://twitter.com/Newsweek/status/1503510441133326340
Quote from: https://www.newsweek.com/theatergoer-walked-out-rent-because-show-was-about-gays-1687962
On Saturday, during a matinee performance at The Carriagework Theatre put on by the Bite My Thumb theater company, an audience member left, according to Bite My Thumb.

The audience member left during the performance of "Today 4 U, Tomorrow 4 Me," sung by the drag queen character Angel. The leaving theatergoer told a staff member they were leaving because "I didn't realise this show was about gays."
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on March 16, 2022, 11:17:23 AM
The Onion or Real News™?
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Uncle on March 16, 2022, 11:39:06 AM
I don't know why anyone says stuff like that  :doge

a - you don't have to give anyone a reason why you're walking out unless you're asking for your money back,

b - you can just say "the subject matter isn't really doing it for me," "not something I'm interested in," "didn't realize some of the sensitive topics it covered"

c - if you want to be lauded for your bravery, just call it offensive straightwashing (https://www.them.us/story/sarah-schulman-rent)

Quote
“The fact that the straight white male is the protagonist is ultimately the problem," she says. "But then there's the specifics about how gay people with AIDS die and straight people with AIDS live, and that's the centerpiece of Rent."
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on March 17, 2022, 01:43:52 PM
I don't know why anyone says stuff like that  :doge

a - you don't have to give anyone a reason why you're walking out unless you're asking for your money back,
Considering the source for the story is the production companies statement on Twitter about how brave and important they are for putting on Rent when this kind of hatred and bigotry exists and how they will remain defiant by continuing to do the show I'm somewhat skeptical about whether it actually happened.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on March 25, 2022, 09:29:18 PM
Quote from: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/mar/25/experience-i-let-a-baby-bird-nest-in-my-hair
Experience: I let a baby bird nest in my hair for 84 days

He fell asleep in my palm. As far as he was concerned, I was his mother
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on March 28, 2022, 05:22:34 AM
http://twitter.com/eoinyk/status/1508116790622269447
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on March 28, 2022, 10:37:03 AM
:thinking

oh no, top of the page react :dead
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on April 01, 2022, 01:35:20 AM
https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/5-fetuses-found-in-home-of-dc-anti-abortion-activist-police/3013443/

:mindblown
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Uncle on April 01, 2022, 08:14:45 AM
:thinking

oh no, top of the page react :dead

you're a mod, just delete a random earlier post in the thread :doggy
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on April 06, 2022, 03:23:39 AM
https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/5-fetuses-found-in-home-of-dc-anti-abortion-activist-police/3013443/

:mindblown

https://www.washingtonian.com/2022/04/05/lauren-handy-claims-she-actually-had-115-fetuses-in-her-apartment/

Imagine trying to convince the world that you should be in charge of morally determining others’ behavior, only to have to admit to being a cat lady that has other people’s stolen dead fetuses instead of cats.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on April 06, 2022, 03:48:51 PM
:thinking

oh no, top of the page react :dead

you're a mod, just delete a random earlier post in the thread :doggy

You're a genius.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: BIONIC on April 06, 2022, 04:09:08 PM
:thinking

oh no, top of the page react :dead

you're a mod, just delete a random earlier post in the thread :doggy

You're a genius.

Can’t believe you deleted a James post that had five whole likes on it  :nintex
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on April 06, 2022, 04:29:26 PM
No one post should have all those likes.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Sideshow Raheem on April 07, 2022, 09:48:38 AM
Stones is telling the judge you can't serve because you see your sugar daddy every day.

https://nypost.com/2022/04/07/nikolas-cruz-juror-says-she-cant-be-on-jury-because-of-sugar-daddy/

(Married with sugar daddy.)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on April 07, 2022, 10:29:49 AM
The sigma female grindset, stack that paper, queen  :bowsette
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Potato on April 07, 2022, 03:38:33 PM
Stones is telling the judge you can't serve because you see your sugar daddy every day.

https://nypost.com/2022/04/07/nikolas-cruz-juror-says-she-cant-be-on-jury-because-of-sugar-daddy/ (https://nypost.com/2022/04/07/nikolas-cruz-juror-says-she-cant-be-on-jury-because-of-sugar-daddy/)

(Married with sugar daddy.)
I'll tell you what, that judge can be my sugar mummy!!
 :whew :mouf
(https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/04/parkland-shooter-juror-sugar-daddy-01.jpg)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on April 13, 2022, 06:20:26 PM
Quote from: https://www.kitsapsun.com/story/news/2022/04/04/ferrets-stolen-after-driver-crashes-into-bremerton-stores-front-door/7270441001/
EAST BREMERTON — A driver crashed a car into the front door of the Petco Store in a brazen theft of three ferrets over the weekend, according to Bremerton police.

Officers responded to the Wheaton Way location of the chain before 6 a.m. Sunday. Store management told police the only thing taken in the burglary were the three animals. The car that smashed into the store was gone before police arrived.

Though valued at $380 apiece, the vehicle caused approximately $10,000 in damages to the store's entrance, police said.

Staff at the store were both heartbroken and confused by the theft, but could not talk further to the media until consulting superiors.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Potato on April 16, 2022, 08:06:47 PM
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/apr/09/my-life-as-a-deer-geoffroy-delorme (https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/apr/09/my-life-as-a-deer-geoffroy-delorme)

The Guardian bring about as distinguished mentally-challenged as you would expect

Quote
When still a teenager, Geoffroy Delorme dropped out of his lonely childhood to live among the animals in the woods of Normandy – and stayed for seven years. What did it do to him?
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on April 18, 2022, 02:22:11 AM
Quote from: https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/kentucky-man-who-did-not-want-employer-throw-birthday-party-awarded-450k/CSH56AQCRNGN5NFRP5A7VRZDEY/
Kevin Berling took his former employer to court after claiming to suffer a panic attack and arguing that his stress caused him to lose his job, WLKY-TV reported. Jurors in Kenton County Circuit Court agreed this week and awarded Berling $450,000, the television station reported.

According to Berling, in August 2019 he asked the office manager of his employer, Covington-based Gravity Diagnostics, not to hold a birthday celebration for him, the Courier-Journal reported. Being the center of attention causes him immense stress, Berling said, according to court documents.

On Berling’s birthday, Aug. 7, 2021, his office arranged for a lunchtime party, WLKY reported. Berling said he suffered a panic attack after learning about the surprise luncheon, according to the television station.

“The person who was responsible for the birthday parties who he talked to flat out forgot about his request,” Berling’s attorney, Tony Bucher, told Link NKY. “She didn’t do it to be mean. She said she would accommodate it and she just forgot.”

According to court documents, Berling left the office and spent the lunch break in his car.

Berling sent a text message to the office manager, and the next day he was called into a meeting, WLKY reported.

“According to my client, she started reading him the riot act and accused him of stealing other co-workers’ joy,” Bucher told Link NKY. The meeting then triggered another panic attack, and Berling asked the office manager to stop, according to the lawsuit.

“The way (the Gravity Diagnostics employees) say it, they believed he was enraged and possibly about to get violent,” Bucher told Link NKY.

Bucher claimed that Berling did not make any threatening gestures, the website reported.

Berling said he was sent home for the next two days and was notified that weekend that he was being fired “because of the events of the previous week,” WLKY reported.

Berling sued Gravity Diagnostics on the grounds of disability discrimination and retaliation, according to court documents. According to the lawsuit, Berling said that since Gravity Diagnostics did not accommodate his anxiety disorder, the birthday party and the events afterward caused him “to suffer from a loss of income and benefits and emotional distress and mental anxiety.”

The $450,000 awarded by the jury included $300,000 for emotional distress and $150,000 for lost wages, WLKY reported.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Potato on April 18, 2022, 06:22:23 PM
https://arizonadailyindependent.com/2022/04/14/scottsdales-dei-gurus-accuse-black-dj-of-wearing-blackface/ (https://arizonadailyindependent.com/2022/04/14/scottsdales-dei-gurus-accuse-black-dj-of-wearing-blackface/)

Quote
This week, an ASU instructor, and a librarian, who hold themselves out as being Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) gurus, falsely accused a Black DJ of wearing blackface during a charity event for the Scottsdale Unified school district.

Stuart Rhoden and Jill Lassen attacked the Scottsdale Unified School District’s Hopi Elementary PTA for hiring Koko Kim Hunter to host their charity auction. The two were informed after their attack that Mr. Hunter is, in fact, a Black man, who was not wearing blackface.

Quote
Stuart Rhoden: “Let me be clear, a Black man, apparently in Black face is an entirely different discussion than a White person. However, I did not state that the person was White. It was assumed that was my intent, and perhaps it was, but nonetheless, looking on his FB page (photos below), it seems at the very least he is in darker make-up if not “Black face” or I am completely mistaken and it’s the lighting of the patio.”
(https://arizonadailyindependent.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/rhoden-678x381.jpg)

The DJ:
(https://arizonadailyindependent.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/koko-kim-hunter.jpg)

https://mobile.twitter.com/AZ_Patriot_1776/status/1514305451147493383 (https://mobile.twitter.com/AZ_Patriot_1776/status/1514305451147493383)

Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on May 03, 2022, 06:35:42 PM
https://calgaryherald.com/news/canada/canadian-astronauts-2022-federal-budget/wcm/a55f9b10-dce3-4cff-9572-e24c0997b49e?s=09

Canadian astronauts no longer free to rob and kill with abandon in space or on the moon
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on May 04, 2022, 09:11:07 AM
Always has been.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on May 09, 2022, 04:27:50 AM
Quote from: https://www.yahoo.com/news/texas-man-used-stolen-lawnmower-180816771.html
A Texas police department is asking the public for information on a man accused of stealing a lawnmower from a property and using it to mow the victim's lawn. Marcus Hubbard is wanted for the burglary of a building, according to the Port Arthur Police Department.

Hubbard was caught on security video burglarizing a home last month, the department said on its Facebook page. According to police, Hubbard took a lawnmower from the home "without owners' consent" and mowed their front and back yard.

When authorities arrived, Hubbard is accused of fleeing the area and bringing the lawnmower with him. He later left the lawnmower in an alley and evaded arrest, authorities said.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Potato on May 09, 2022, 05:23:24 AM
Quote from: https://www.yahoo.com/news/texas-man-used-stolen-lawnmower-180816771.html
A Texas police department is asking the public for information on a man accused of stealing a lawnmower from a property and using it to mow the victim's lawn. Marcus Hubbard is wanted for the burglary of a building, according to the Port Arthur Police Department.

Hubbard was caught on security video burglarizing a home last month, the department said on its Facebook page. According to police, Hubbard took a lawnmower from the home "without owners' consent" and mowed their front and back yard.

When authorities arrived, Hubbard is accused of fleeing the area and bringing the lawnmower with him. He later left the lawnmower in an alley and evaded arrest, authorities said.
That guy can rob me anytime
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Cauliflower Of Love on May 09, 2022, 12:48:44 PM
Picture of the perp:


(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/96/Steve_Carell_November_2014.jpg)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on May 11, 2022, 02:08:24 AM
Quote from: https://local12.com/news/offbeat/tennessee-couple-wakes-up-sleep-find-strange-dog-sleeping-in-bed-lost-dog-animals-pet-viral-photo-nala-facebook-social-media
POLK COUNTY, Tenn. (WGCL/CNN Newsource/WKRC) - Imagine waking up in your bed in the morning to find out the dog you've been snuggling with isn't yours.

That's exactly what happened to one Tennessee woman this week.

Jimmy Johnson opened his eyes and didn't recognize the dog sleeping in their bed.

"I rolled over on my side of the bed, and said, 'No, no, no that's not our dog,'" said Julie Johnson.

A strange canine quietly came into their house un-invited.
Doggo got back home though. :heart
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on May 11, 2022, 11:34:03 AM
It's like a really wholesome creepypasta.

THEN WHO WAS DOG??
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: james on May 11, 2022, 01:28:45 PM
https://twitter.com/TollyTaylor/status/1524128479394029571
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on May 11, 2022, 06:21:31 PM
https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/amazon-childrens-clothes-sexually-explicit-1.6447739

Clothing was modelled by children and displayed the message 'I love c--k'
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on June 12, 2022, 09:00:09 AM
https://www.wdrb.com/news/indiana-man-finds-adult-toy-inside-fish-he-caught-in-ohio-river/article_5924ac8c-e8cc-11ec-90d3-276904b214ea.html

Indiana man finds adult toy inside fish he caught in Ohio River
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on June 12, 2022, 05:22:38 PM
Quote from: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/publix-customer-express-line-item-limit/
What started as an a loud complaint from the customer turned into an argument with the Publix cashier, who suggested he go to another checkout on his next visit if he had a problem with cashiers serving customers with more than 10 items in the express lane.

In the first video, the customer shouts, “10 or fewer,” repeatedly while waiting in line.

The second clip shows him checking out, still arguing with the employee. “If you don’t like it you don’t have to come through my line, either,” the cashier urges.

Another employee asks what the problem is, and the cashier explains the man’s issue. “They had like 50 items, it says ten,” the customer says, pointing to the sign on the express checkout station.
Videos at the link.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Potato on June 13, 2022, 04:22:06 AM
The customer is NOT always right...but in this instance he was.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on June 13, 2022, 10:29:52 AM
https://www.wdrb.com/news/indiana-man-finds-adult-toy-inside-fish-he-caught-in-ohio-river/article_5924ac8c-e8cc-11ec-90d3-276904b214ea.html

Indiana man finds adult toy inside fish he caught in Ohio River

(https://i.imgur.com/1yTpVVZ.jpeg)
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on June 24, 2022, 11:10:33 PM
Quote from: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2022/06/24/dive-bombing-crows-Noble-Park-Hermosa-Beach-California/1471656098427/
June 24 (UPI) -- Visitors to a park in California's Los Angeles County have been dealing with an unusual problem in recent weeks -- constant attacks from dive-bombing crows.

Multiple visitors to Noble Park in Hermosa Beach reported being dive-bombed by crows in recent weeks, with some saying the birds were most likely to attack dog-walkers.

"They're just coming out of the trees and kind of dive-bombing you and trying to get you out of the park," Dan Cohen, who was recently attacked by the crows, told NBC Los Angeles.

The crows haven't caused any serious injuries, but the Beach House Hotel, located across the street from the park, hired a falconer to use his trained hawk to scare the birds away twice a week.

The falconer, James Andrade, said the crows have even attempted to mob his hawk, Richter.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Hap Shaughnessy on August 02, 2022, 06:21:28 PM
https://www.cra-racing.com/2022/08/jegs-cra-all-stars-tour-at-anderson-speedway-saturday-for-the-fudge-packer-100/

Quote
The JEGS/CRA All-Stars Tour Presented by Chevrolet Performance will return to action this Saturday in the Fudge Packer 100 Presented by Uranus Fudge Factory at Anderson Speedway located in Anderson, Indiana.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on August 06, 2022, 09:28:06 PM
https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/22/us/supermarket-missing-person-death-trnd/index.html

Not amusing but horrifying. 
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on August 25, 2022, 09:19:00 PM
Quote from: https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/129518776/a-purrfect-10-meet-tilly-the-11kg-obese-cat-embarking-on-a-weight-loss-journey
Debby Foster was surprised to see two people carrying a cat carrier into Cat Rescue Dunedin. She soon found out why.

Inside the carrier was Tilly, an 11.6kg behemoth.

When Foster took her to the vet the following day, she couldn’t lift the cat carrier with one hand.

Tilly was so large she struggled to clean herself and her rear was covered in dags. Her body fat prevented the vet from detecting her heartbeat.

“She was the largest cat our vet has ever seen,” said Foster.

The vet used a chart numbered one (too thin) to nine (too fat) to determine her body shape.

“She was a ten. Every girl wants to be a ten.”
Quote
“She is surprisingly agile given how fat she is,” Gould said.

“She is determined, but she has a fat cat waddle.”
Quote
Despite the challenges she faced, Tilly “just loves all the cuddles and attention”.
(https://resources.stuff.co.nz/content/dam/images/4/z/0/6/g/3/image.related.StuffLandscapeSixteenByNine.1240x700.2541bs.png/1660312645104.jpg?format=pjpg&optimize=medium)
(https://resources.stuff.co.nz/content/dam/images/4/z/0/6/g/7/image.related.StuffLandscapeSixteenByNine.1240x700.2541bs.png/1660312645104.jpg?format=pjpg&optimize=medium)

 :heart :heart :heart :heart
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on September 01, 2022, 03:34:34 PM
https://twitter.com/sarah_stook/status/1564944698246053891
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Skullfuckers Anonymous on September 08, 2022, 02:25:09 PM
https://mobile.twitter.com/MikeSington/status/1567840888738676736
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on September 11, 2022, 05:04:59 PM
https://www.cnbctv18.com/world/twins-born-to-brazilian-teen-by-two-separate-fathers-14693991.htm
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on September 20, 2022, 03:14:12 PM
https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1572251782558150657
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on September 21, 2022, 10:46:17 AM
Whale stranding: 230 whales stranded on Tasmanian beach

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-62976749


sad news but doesn't really belong anywhere else
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Potato on September 26, 2022, 05:50:26 PM
Mermaiding provides freedom and empowerment in the water for Nicola and her merpod

https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/mermaiding-provides-freedom-and-empowerment-in-the-water/101367580 (https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/mermaiding-provides-freedom-and-empowerment-in-the-water/101367580)


(https://live-production.wcms.abc-cdn.net.au/978a282f4740c7793a62917d2c8f7e86?impolicy=wcms_crop_resize&cropH=584&cropW=876&xPos=0&yPos=43&width=862&height=575)



Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on September 29, 2022, 09:41:39 PM
https://apnews.com/article/business-boston-spiders-ebay-inc-david-steiner-64e9dabdc9e11b71eee6d688c2f2bff7
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on September 29, 2022, 09:50:36 PM
https://apnews.com/article/business-boston-spiders-ebay-inc-david-steiner-64e9dabdc9e11b71eee6d688c2f2bff7
Quote
The scheme was hatched in August 2019 after Ina Steiner wrote a story about a lawsuit brought by eBay accusing Amazon of poaching its sellers. A half-hour after the article was published, then-CEO Devin Wenig sent another top eBay executive a message saying: “If you are ever going to take her down ... now is the time,” according to court documents. That executive sent Wenig’s message to Baugh and called Ina Steiner a “biased troll who needs to get BURNED DOWN.”

Soon, Ina Steiner began receiving harassing and sometimes threatening Twitter messages. Bizarre anonymous packages started arriving at the couple’s home, including a box of live spiders, a funeral wreath and a book about surviving the loss of a spouse. Ina Steiner began receiving dozens of strange emails from groups like an irritable bowel syndrome patient support group and the Communist Party of the United States, authorities say.

Authorities portrayed Baugh as the mastermind of the scheme and said he directed eBay employees to use prepaid debit cards, disguises and overseas email accounts to hide the company’s involvement.

Baugh then recruited Harville to go with him to Boston to spy on the couple, authorities say. Baugh, Harville and another eBay employee went to the couple’s home in the hopes of installing a GPS tracker on their car but the garage was locked, so Harville bought tools with a plan to break into it, prosecutors say.

Harville’s attorneys said he had no involvement in or knowledge about the threatening messages or deliveries sent by his colleagues.

Prosecutors said in court documents that although Harville wasn’t at the initial meetings about the scheme, “he was aware enough of the harassment by the time he was in Boston to joke with Baugh about delivering a bag of human feces, a running chain saw, and a rat” to their porch.
I'd say this is a bit of an excessive response to criticism from a blog/newsletter that's been covering your site since 1999. :lol
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 18, 2022, 12:08:56 PM
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-63304390

Japan heritage worker backs car into oldest toilet at Kyoto temple
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on October 18, 2022, 12:26:29 PM
BREAKING:
https://twitter.com/Newsweek/status/1503510441133326340
Quote from: https://www.newsweek.com/theatergoer-walked-out-rent-because-show-was-about-gays-1687962
On Saturday, during a matinee performance at The Carriagework Theatre put on by the Bite My Thumb theater company, an audience member left, according to Bite My Thumb.

The audience member left during the performance of "Today 4 U, Tomorrow 4 Me," sung by the drag queen character Angel. The leaving theatergoer told a staff member they were leaving because "I didn't realise this show was about gays."

I mean, one of the more popular anti-Rent arguments circulating these days is that it kinda isn't. HIV/AIDS features heavily but the two gay chars are pretty much sidelined and feel pretty token... And the bi woman (she's bi) just wants to bang everything and everyone.

Important for representation at the time, but Rent honestly does not live up to it's uber-gay reputation.

Not that this audience member would know any of this...
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on October 18, 2022, 11:22:12 PM
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-63304390

Japan heritage worker backs car into oldest toilet at Kyoto temple
SEPPUKU TAIMU
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 23, 2022, 02:17:44 PM
https://6abc.com/philadelphia-phillies-nlcs-world-series-game-5/12364962/

City officials grease light poles ahead of possible Phillies celebrations
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on October 26, 2022, 10:11:02 AM
https://www.cnn.com/2022/10/26/asia/worlds-dirtiest-man-dies-iran-haji-scli-intl/index.html

Quote
An Iranian hermit known as “the world’s dirtiest man” has died at the ripe age of 94, just months after taking his first wash in decades, Iranian state media announced.

Haji was known for his staunch stance against bathing: A few years ago, when a group of villagers took him to a nearby river in an attempt to bathe him, he threw himself out of the car and ran away.

Locals in the area all treated him and his condition with respect, IRNA reported, understanding that his fear of getting sick was the reason he avoided water.

A few months ago, villagers successfully gave Haji a wash.

Haji was unmarried.

rest in power, king  :tocry
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: BIONIC on October 26, 2022, 10:24:07 AM
Killed off to take attention away from the protests  ::)

Mullahs ain’t slick  :ufup
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Tasty on October 26, 2022, 12:23:53 PM
Quote
just months after taking his first wash in decades

The bath killed him :ohhh

Reminds me of Courage the Cowardly Dog.

https://youtu.be/EFXrQobq4AU
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on October 28, 2022, 09:56:57 AM
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-63421811.amp
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on October 28, 2022, 10:58:38 PM
Quote from: https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2022/oct/28/mondrian-painting-has-been-hanging-upside-down-for-75-years
A painting by abstract Dutch artist Piet Mondrian has been hanging upside down in various museums since it was first put on display 75 years ago, an art historian has found, but warned it could disintegrate if it was hung the right side up now.

The 1941 picture, a complex interlacing lattice of red, yellow, black and blue adhesive tapes titled New York City I, was first put on display at New York’s MoMA in 1945 but has hung at the art collection of the German federal state of North Rhine-Westphalia in Düsseldorf since 1980.

The way the picture is currently hung shows the multicoloured lines thickening at the bottom, suggesting an extremely simplified version of a skyline. However, when curator Susanne Meyer-Büser started researching the museum’s new show on the Dutch avant garde artist earlier this year, she realised the picture should be the other way around.

“The thickening of the grid should be at the top, like a dark sky,” said Meyer-Büser. “Once I pointed it out to the other curators, we realised it was very obvious. I am 100% certain the picture is the wrong way around.”
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Madrun Badrun on November 04, 2022, 05:07:29 PM
https://www.businessinsider.co.za/us-air-force-flight-drew-phallic-pattern-near-russian-facility-2022-11
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 06, 2022, 01:27:55 AM
Quote from: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2022/11/04/australia-Sunshine-Coast-Stuart-carpet-pythons-microwave/8001667588339/
Nov. 4 (UPI) -- A reptile wrangler was summoned to an Australian home where a resident discovered the cause of a moving microwave was a pair of mating pythons.

A video posted to Facebook shows Stuart McKenzie of Sunshine Coast Snake Catchers responding to a home in Buderim where a woman discovered two carpet pythons in the throes of passion in her kitchen.

The snake catching business said the woman noticed her microwave had moved and looked behind it to find the pair of mating snakes.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on November 06, 2022, 11:25:28 PM
“Snake catching business” at first I thought this was Australian slang for the snake on the receiving end of the mating.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 13, 2022, 07:09:10 PM
https://twitter.com/onionweigher/status/1591606679648735233
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Propagandhim on November 14, 2022, 02:18:22 PM
https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1592230231623860224

I didn't know where to put this.  It's a dumb or rather inconsequential news story but it isn't amusing.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 19, 2022, 11:06:09 PM
Quote from: https://www.odditycentral.com/news/hundreds-of-sheep-have-been-walking-in-a-circle-continuously-for-12-days.html
A herd of sheep in China has been walking in a circle for almost two weeks now, and no one seems to really know why.

(https://i.imgur.com/dVuuwFP.png)

The bizarre behavior was captured on surveillance video at a sheep farm in northern China’s Inner Mongolia region. In a video released on Wednesday by Chinese state-run news outlet People’s Daily, dozens of shep can be seen walking clockwise in a large circle, as other animals stare from outside the circle or at times stand motionless in the middle of it. Although it has been reported that the sheep appear to be perfectly healthy, it’s unclear if the animals ever stop to eat and drink, and if others take their place in the circle when that happens.

The owner of the sheep farm, identified as Ms. Miao, told reporters that the bizarre spectacle began on November 4, with just a handful of sheep, but that in the following days dozens of others joined in. Interestingly, although the farm consists of 34 sheep pens, only those in number 13 have been acting strangely.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 27, 2022, 10:42:10 PM
Quote from: https://www.cbsnews.com/detroit/news/detroit-building-world-largest-kwanzaa-kinara/
(CBS DETROIT) - In honor of the seven-day Kwanzaa celebration, the City of Detroit is constructing the Motor City Kwanzaa Kinara.

City officials say it will be the world's largest Kinara, reaching 30 feet tall. The structure will sit in the SW Garden of Campus Martius.

...

"Detroit is a city that embraces its rich diversity. We are thrilled that this year we will have on display the world's largest Kinara, which will join the world's largest Menorah and our state's largest Christmas tree, as people of all backgrounds come downtown to celebrate their faith and culture this holiday season," Mayor Mike Duggan said in a statement.
At this point they should just fill all the vacant space with dumb large religious items.

Also, why only the state's largest? #WarOnChristmas
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on November 27, 2022, 10:52:55 PM
At this point they should just fill all the vacant space with dumb large religious items.
Specifically, Detroit should buy this off Turkmenistan: https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/giant-ruhnama
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on December 24, 2022, 09:35:34 PM
https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1606774170876002305
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: chronovore on January 12, 2023, 08:57:50 PM
https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/internet/justin-roiland-rick-morty-allegations-domestic-violence-charges-rcna65403

I’d be really sad if Rowland turns out to be a turd. Harmon is problematic enough on his own.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on January 14, 2023, 10:38:11 PM
https://twitter.com/DallasZoo/status/1614043285818834947
Quote from: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2023/01/13/dallas-zoo-clouded-leopard/
Nova, a clouded leopard missing from the Dallas Zoo, was found late Friday afternoon following a day of searching, but the mystery of how she escaped is still being pieced together.

Police said Friday the leopard’s enclosure was “intentionally cut,” after law enforcement and zoo officials determined that the 25-pound cat’s escape was not a result of negligence by a zookeeper, a problem with the enclosure itself or her own breakout attempt.

Officials searching the zoo grounds found Nova near her original habitat at 4:40 p.m. She seemed to be uninjured and was being evaluated by the zoo’s veterinarians, said zoo spokesperson Kari Streiber.

“We’re thrilled,” Dallas Police Sgt. Warren Mitchell told The Washington Post. “They worked all day long trying to locate the animal, and we’re just glad that it has returned to its habitat.”

Smaller than a bobcat but larger than a house cat, the clouded leopard is not considered a threat to people and is generally elusive, preferring to stay in trees. Zoo officials had said Nova, who is spotted and a tawny gold, was likely to be found in a tree if she were around the zoo or in a neighborhood.

Mitchell said he believed the cat had been located around feeding time, and that the zoo had set traps in hopes that she would enter one when hungry. It took about 35 minutes to capture the leopard after finding her, according to Streiber.
Kitty came back when it was time to eat. :heart
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on February 02, 2023, 02:01:25 PM
Quote from: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/virginia-hs-basketball-coaches-ousted-1-allegedly-poses-player-game-rcna68457
Two junior varsity girls basketball coaches are out of a job at a Virginia high school after the assistant coach was alleged to have suited up and played in a game.

Portsmouth Public Schools got a report from administrators at Nansemond River High School that a member of Churchland High School’s junior varsity coaching staff “took part in the game” on Jan. 21, district spokesperson Lauren Nolasco said.

...

Boykins, 22, was the Churchland assistant coach accused of posing as a student in the game against Nansemond River, NBC affiliate WAVY of Portsmouth reported. The actual player missed the game because of an out-of-town club tournament, her parents told the station.

Boykins was hired in August. Her last day with the school was Wednesday, Nolasco said. The head coach of the girls basketball team is also no longer employed, Nolasco said.

...

After the incident, Churchland staff members met with the parents and players on the junior varsity and varsity teams. The group decided they did not want to continue the basketball season, Nolasco said.

"The teams’ remaining opponents and officials have been notified," she said.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Potato on February 11, 2023, 06:18:40 AM
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-02-11/huge-barramundi-caught-on-gold-coast/101961824

(https://i.imgur.com/x8YEK46.png)


 :cody
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on February 22, 2023, 02:44:03 AM
Quote from: https://www.odditycentral.com/animals/fat-cat-becomes-polish-citys-top-rated-tourist-attraction.html
With a nearly perfect 4.9/5.0 stars out of thousands of Google reviews, Gacek, an overweight black-and-white street cat, is the top-rated tourist attraction in the Polish city of Szczecin.

Szczecin, a medieval city in northwestern Poland, close to the border with Germany, has plenty to offer visitors. The Pomeranian Duke’s Castle and Kasprowicza Park are two of its most popular tourist attractions, but when it comes to online reviews, both pale in comparison with the city’s top-rated attraction, a fat cat named Gacek.
Quote
According to a local woman, Gacek first appeared on Kaszubska Street in downtown Szczecin about 10 years ago. He stuck around and people started taking a liking to him. Many of them also started feeding him, so from a skinny feline, he soon turned into a chunky boy, which only made him more adorable.

Gacek, whose name means ‘long-eared bat’ in Polish, has nearly 2,600 reviews on Google, more than any other attraction in Szczecin. Most of those who posted a review awarded the purring feline the maximum 5 stars, making him the top-rated tourist attraction in the city.

According to Notes From Poland, Gacek does have a few one-star reviews, mostly from people who criticize his caretaker or express worry about his weight, but overall, the cat’s reviews are stellar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz44bspgYbg
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on February 22, 2023, 02:15:14 PM
https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1606774170876002305

Nice!
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on March 21, 2023, 10:25:53 PM
Quote from: https://pagesix.com/2023/03/20/fan-poops-in-aisle-near-hillary-and-chelsea-clinton-at-show/
Page Six hears that a serial pooper has been stalking the halls of the legendary Shubert Theater — and the last time they struck, a turd appeared in the aisle near Hillary and Chelsea Clinton at “Some Like It Hot.”

A source close to the show insists that it was a regrettable one-off incident.

But another source tells us that the theater’s staff said that the s–t’s (almost) hit the fans at other performances as well.

“Last week when Hillary and Chelsea Clinton were in the audience,” said a source, “the lights came up for intermission and there were two human turds in the aisle just near the famous political duo.”

The insider added, “The house crew dealt with it very appropriately and quickly, and Hillary and Chelsea remained in the theater for the second act.”
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Cauliflower Of Love on March 22, 2023, 09:32:32 AM
she's running
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Joe Molotov on March 22, 2023, 11:46:42 AM
she's running

Hillary, Chelsea, or the pooper?
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: BIONIC on March 22, 2023, 12:11:30 PM
she's running

Hillary, Chelsea, or the pooper?

Can you determine the sex of the pooper by testing the poop?
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on March 27, 2023, 06:01:18 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=JPFIAz3SuMs
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Potato on April 04, 2023, 07:11:15 PM
https://www.foxsports.com.au/nrl/nrl-premiership/teams/tigers/i-am-disappointed-tigers-defend-anzac-commemorative-jersey-with-nonaussie-soldiers-on-the-front/news-story/042a016bd2325111a35969b703a75f96 (https://www.foxsports.com.au/nrl/nrl-premiership/teams/tigers/i-am-disappointed-tigers-defend-anzac-commemorative-jersey-with-nonaussie-soldiers-on-the-front/news-story/042a016bd2325111a35969b703a75f96)

Quote
Wests Tigers have defended their use of a stock image of American soldiers on the front of their commemorative jersey for this year’s Anzac Round.

Eagle-eyed fans shared on social media photos of the new jersey which features two unidentified soldiers in a desert environment.

But based on the uniforms and weaponry pictured the soldiers are American, not Australian, which has seen the club come in for criticism.

However the Tigers worked with Holsworthy Army Barracks in Sydney to create the design and have the ANZAC elements approved, with the photo - available for sale - meant to broadly “depict the modern-day soldier serving in a desert environment”.

“They’re carrying an M240B machine gun where the Australians have I think it’s an F89 and a MAG58,” Paul Kent explained on NRL 360.

“It’s a stock image that the Tigers have put on there, I’ve spoken to them today. Basically they’ve told us what’s happened is ... they collaborated with Holsworthy Army Barracks who saw all this, endorsed it.

Big fucking Ls all round here
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: benjipwns on May 03, 2023, 12:54:37 AM
Quote from: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2023/05/02/chased-by-emus-North-Bradley-Michigan/5431683042585/
May 2 (UPI) -- A Michigan woman walking her dog on a trail said a pair of emus appeared from the woods and chased her for about half a mile.

Kate Buning said she and her dog, a pug mix, were walking on the Pere Marquette Rail Trail in North Bradley, northwest of Midland when a pair of emus suddenly appeared nearby.

Buning snapped a photo of the flightless Australian birds before they started walking toward her.

"I was terrified," Buning told MLive.

She said the emus followed as she retreated and became more aggressive, chasing her for about a half a mile. Buning said the emus gave up their pursuit when she arrived at a road access point.

Buning contacted the Midland County Sheriff's Office.

"There was no physical contact between the caller and the emus, so neither the caller or the emus were injured," Midland County Sheriff Myron Greene told WNEM-TV.
Title: Re: Dumb News Stories: aka it's not really that funny but it's kinda amusing and
Post by: Skullfuckers Anonymous on May 04, 2023, 05:26:30 PM
One easy trick to get out of paying your bills.

https://twitter.com/ArkTimes/status/1653470625069973515

 :usacry