5. the name is difficult for my imaginary girlfriend, gamespot's own aeris and star of ff7, to pronounce. "jeeeeeen dee ark" she hyperarticulated in her breathy, strident voice, right before i cut her off to ask if she could put something in her pussy.
4. girls can't fight with swords! they are supposed to heal and cast magic and blush when spoken to. this is crap.
3. it glorifies the french and insults the english. the english gave us the bbc. the french gave us those incomprehensible books tvc reads and pretends to like. the english have done way more for my entertainment and should not be discredited as a bunch of demonically possessed children and evil clowns.
2. it's not team fortress 2.
1. it has confused me about history. i've come to accept that nobunaga commanded the dread power of the oni during the sengoku period of japan, and that germany would have won world war 2 with its army of steam-powered super robots were it not for a coterie of gifted and spunky children, and i can even believe that france repelled british incursions in the 15th century through the power of magical girls, but FRANCE SUPPORTING FREEDOM? fuck you, if this is history, then the terrorists have already won.
i give this game a C- out of 10.
